what are you doing right now?

[andi9899]

Nov 21, 2024 10:23:58 GMT -5 azucena said:

Nov 21, 2024 10:19:46 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Right?  How was she supposed to react?  Start singing a cleaning song while all the birds and deer in the area come to help her tidy up?   Any sane person is going to be pissed when they open up a dryer of what is supposed to be clean clothes to find tobacco everywhere.  

That would have been the last thing DH ever said to me.

You don't want to be fussed at about garbage on the floor or your cigarette exploding in the dryer then either clean up after yourself/empty your pockets or be single.  Just because Mister's mom seemed to enable and cover up for every fault his dad had does not mean that Pink should have to follow suit.  That is NOT a healthy relationship model. Also newsflash it is 2024.  Pink is a modern woman he needs to get his head out of ass and be a modern man. 

As my FIL told DH once when we first got married it's the 21st century. Your wife works too get off your ass and do housework.   I really loved FIL in that moment.

Ooo, I might actually try the bolded. I'm quite sure at least one of the kids would realize that it's an indication of mom's about to lose it and scurry to inform the rest.

I've tried pretty much everything else.

I was thinking it actually might work too. Also sending a message. If you don't want to be treated like a kid, act like an adult. Off to search elementary school cleaning songs...

[chiver78]

Nov 21, 2024 14:17:46 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 21, 2024 9:39:29 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I just booked a long weekend away, for early December. friends had an extra ticket to a charity event show in Rehoboth Beach, DE. while I wasn't able to use points (JetBlue doesn't fly to BWI), the fare wasn't awful. they are picking me up at the airport on their drive, and we also have a free place to stay for the weekend. after yesterday's bullshit, that was a nice mood booster this am. K and I chatted a bunch last night, but I didn't want to book flights on my phone.

They fly nonstop to KC. Just saying.

next summer, right? I thought we were all gonna come to you.

[minnesotapaintlady]

The big equestrian complex near my house is on fire. A horse owner's worst nightmare. I'm absolutely sick.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

JFC I need to get out of here.  She has been approaching everyone I work with on a day to day basis asking them to inform her of every little thing I do wrong while I am on this PIP.

No YOU put me on the PIP.  YOU manage it.   Stop asking people to spy on me and report back to you.  It's pissing people off and I am developing a serious case of paranoia.

I have no idea what I did to make this woman hate me so much.  Never in my entire life/career have I been put under this much pressure and such a magnifying glass.

Everything I find is in fucking Elkhorn or Blair.  Which are pretty significant drives for me and at $50k I am not risking my car on I-80 in the winter.

I am so pissed off anymore and just exhausted.

[chiver78]

well, I just set myself up to be able to log in to ADP directly, rather than needing the work interface I typically use, since I lose that access tomorrow. I also logged out of Chrome and deleted my profiles on the work laptop, so that's all set in case IT turns my ish off early in the day. shit's getting a little real now. 

tonight's gonna be a quiet night here, and I've already set an alarm on my phone in case I doze off on the couch again. 

[azucena]

Nov 21, 2024 15:06:25 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

JFC I need to get out of here.  She has been approaching everyone I work with on a day to day basis asking them to inform her of every little thing I do wrong while I am on this PIP.

No YOU put me on the PIP.  YOU manage it.   Stop asking people to spy on me and report back to you.  It's pissing people off and I am developing a serious case of paranoia.

I have no idea what I did to make this woman hate me so much.  Never in my entire life/career have I been put under this much pressure and such a magnifying glass.

Everything I find is in fucking Elkhorn or Blair.  Which are pretty significant drives for me and at $50k I am not risking my car on I-80 in the winter.

I am so pissed off anymore and just exhausted.

Tell your work besties to tell her you sneezed, then you picked your nose, then you went to the bathroom but they're not sure if it was number 1 or number 2, then you ate an apple in 16 bites, then you farted.

[azucena]

Seriously though she's now harassing both you AND them.

Has your work leaned into any of the neurodiversity parts of DEI? Mine has and I'd be tempted to use that.

[jerseygirl]

Nov 21, 2024 13:33:29 GMT -5 giramomma said:

The snow is changing to rain. Its 66 in our house but they I have that nasty damp  chill you can't get rid of.

I hare rhatu

 

Is rhatu the new winter?
I hate it too!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nov 21, 2024 15:16:37 GMT -5 azucena said:

Nov 21, 2024 15:06:25 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

JFC I need to get out of here.  She has been approaching everyone I work with on a day to day basis asking them to inform her of every little thing I do wrong while I am on this PIP.

No YOU put me on the PIP.  YOU manage it.   Stop asking people to spy on me and report back to you.  It's pissing people off and I am developing a serious case of paranoia.

I have no idea what I did to make this woman hate me so much.  Never in my entire life/career have I been put under this much pressure and such a magnifying glass.

Everything I find is in fucking Elkhorn or Blair.  Which are pretty significant drives for me and at $50k I am not risking my car on I-80 in the winter.

I am so pissed off anymore and just exhausted.

Tell your work besties to tell her you sneezed, then you picked your nose, then you went to the bathroom but they're not sure if it was number 1 or number 2, then you ate an apple in 16 bites, then you farted.

And they don't know if I washed my hands before coming back to work.

It doesn't matter if they have any DEI regarding neurodivergence I don't have a formal diagnosis.  It would cost me $5k just to get the label  And it still wouldn't matter because it is tricky they can claim things like perfect spelling are crtical to my job and the software just can't support a dictionary so if I can't spell off the top of my head then I can't do the job.

DEI shit isn't worth the paper it is printed on at least if you work in a red state it isn't.

[empress of self-improvement]

Nov 21, 2024 14:33:30 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Nov 21, 2024 14:17:46 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

They fly nonstop to KC. Just saying.

next summer, right? I thought we were all gonna come to you.

Guess I better start setting aside the money. I still call dibs on the giraffe room! I'm old, I get seniority

[azucena]

They also can't be sure which bathroom you used. The horror!

Any chance she just so happens to get signed up for numerous low brow catalogs to be delivered to the office?

I like this game just hate that it's at your expense.

My company doesn't require us to provide diagnosis. They'll just take my word for it if I say I have anxiety or adhd. Kinda waiting for the therapy squirrels and such to start showing up.

[raeoflyte]

Drama - I wouldn't give this company any credit that you will stay on with them no matter what you do. You could do or find something that will save the company your annual salary in costs 10x over, it sounds like they have it out for you. Its shitty timing but I would apply to every job you can even if theyre far away or have other downsides so that if the ax falls you'll still have applications out there. It just takes a long time these days.

[Peace77]

Nov 21, 2024 15:34:57 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Nov 21, 2024 15:16:37 GMT -5 azucena said:

Tell your work besties to tell her you sneezed, then you picked your nose, then you went to the bathroom but they're not sure if it was number 1 or number 2, then you ate an apple in 16 bites, then you farted.

And they don't know if I washed my hands before coming back to work.

It doesn't matter if they have any DEI regarding neurodivergence I don't have a formal diagnosis.  It would cost me $5k just to get the label  And it still wouldn't matter because it is tricky they can claim things like perfect spelling are crtical to my job and the software just can't support a dictionary so if I can't spell off the top of my head then I can't do the job.

DEI shit isn't worth the paper it is printed on at least if you work in a red state it isn't.

Can you make yourself a “cheat sheet“ of words frequently used that must be spelled correctly or that you have misspelled before?   I knew someone that did that because she had dyslexia.

[andi9899]

Nov 21, 2024 14:37:44 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

The big equestrian complex near my house is on fire. A horse owner's worst nightmare. I'm absolutely sick.

Oh no! That's my worst fear too. Hopefully everyone is ok.

[andi9899]

Nov 21, 2024 14:33:30 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Nov 21, 2024 14:17:46 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

They fly nonstop to KC. Just saying.

next summer, right? I thought we were all gonna come to you.

Honestly, I'd come in the fall. It will be gross here in the summer. It gets so hot!

[andi9899]

Nov 21, 2024 15:40:41 GMT -5 empress of self-improvement said:

Nov 21, 2024 14:33:30 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

next summer, right? I thought we were all gonna come to you.

Guess I better start setting aside the money. I still call dibs on the giraffe room! I'm old, I get seniority

I should have both bedrooms furnished by then. Good thing I had the ducts cleaned. The giraffe rooms was the smelliest of them all.

I've also decided we're going to my fave BBQ spot while you're here. They have a little bit of everything, so everyone should be able to get something they like.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nov 21, 2024 15:41:37 GMT -5 azucena said:

They also can't be sure which bathroom you used. The horror!

Any chance she just so happens to get signed up for numerous low brow catalogs to be delivered to the office?

I like this game just hate that it's at your expense.

My company doesn't require us to provide diagnosis. They'll just take my word for it if I say I have anxiety or adhd. Kinda waiting for the therapy squirrels and such to start showing up.

They probably take my word for it but I seem to be in a place where the thought process is neurodivergence just needs a good beating and that will cure you of it.

Things are just weird.  It's not so much what my manager is doing with the PIP honestly I cannot say I am 100% shocked.  It's other things around it that are going on behind the scenes like HR meeting with everyone in the lab to talk about morale.  I just had a really weird conversation with the director about how he feels I am a valued member of the team and wants to keep me and that he wants the managers to improve their working relationships with their reports.

It's all really freaking odd.  While I am sure my manager is feeding off it I don't think she's the mastermind.  Not that any of that really matters I need to focus on me, myself and I whatever happens outside of that is currently not my concern.

I'm looking every day and have half a dozen permutations of my job description going as searches.  

I got time.  We have $100k in liquid cash which is our combined gross salary.   We're not investing it all just yet we just got started.  We're going to wait till it's officially 2025 so we can turn over a new tax leaf per the advice of the person we're working with.  So it's still sitting there available for use.

If worst case I had to back to waiting tables we can still pay all our bills and still have savings left over.  I'd be singing a different tune a few months ago.  I am very grateful to FIL that he was so meticulous with his finances and wanted to make sure his kids and by extension their families were taken care of. 

[soupandstew]

I had a rough night.  Awakened by gunfire a little after midnight, DH was very restless and noisy all night, and he insisted at getting up at 5:30 to make the 8:45 sign-in for our senior trip.  Trip was great but 2 hours walking and standing on hard floor which really made my knee hurt.  I took a nap after we came home after threatening him with death if he so much as farted aloud.  I need to redo my face and hair for tonight's dinner.  Both the cistern tour and the museum were incredible.  I could have used another 1/2 hour at the museum

[jerseygirl]

Nov 21, 2024 16:08:29 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 21, 2024 14:37:44 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

The big equestrian complex near my house is on fire. A horse owner's worst nightmare. I'm absolutely sick.

Oh no! That's my worst fear too. Hopefully everyone is ok.

Terrifying to the horses. They will try to go back to their ‘safe space’ even if it’s on fire. Very difficult to handle when panicked

[soupandstew]

Pink Cashmere   I've been chewing on your stories about Mister and the tobacco in the laundry and the whole trash issue.  I am definitely a clean person, maybe more than some, but the trash issue is just BS pure and simple.  I honestly can't imagine anyone who would allow a trash can to be overflowing and stinking, and then empty the can without picking up the circle of crap ringing it.  As for the tobacco in the laundry, same thing.  I bitch at DH for the occasional facial tissue in a pocket but I can see how a folded Kleenex down in a pocket might be overlooked.  I can't for the life of me envision cigarettes in a pocket being overlooked and I was smoker for decades.

I don't get the feeling that he's doing this stuff to piss you off on purpose BUT I also don't get the feeling that he's making a solid effort to understand how much it bothers you and take steps to rectify it.  Just IMHO

[giramomma]

Nov 21, 2024 15:23:51 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

Nov 21, 2024 13:33:29 GMT -5 giramomma said:

The snow is changing to rain. Its 66 in our house but they I have that nasty damp  chill you can't get rid of.

I hare rhatu

 

Is rhatu the new winter?
I hate it too!

Hahaha

I am now typing on a kindle. My typing is crappy on said kindle,

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 21, 2024 16:08:29 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 21, 2024 14:37:44 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

The big equestrian complex near my house is on fire. A horse owner's worst nightmare. I'm absolutely sick.

Oh no! That's my worst fear too. Hopefully everyone is ok.

Thankfully there were no events going on, sometimes there are many hundreds of horses there for shows, so a lot of the stalls were empty.  It's confirmed that at least two horses died so far and the attached living quarters of the owners is destroyed.  There are people raising funds and collecting clothes and stuff for the kids...not that they really need the money as it's owned by one of the wealthiest families in the area.

[bean29]

Nov 21, 2024 17:05:02 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Nov 21, 2024 15:23:51 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

Is rhatu the new winter?
I hate it too!

Hahaha

I am now typing on a kindle. My typing is crappy on said kindle,

Do you need a computer?  I can probably supply you with a fairly decent one. (DH has an annual budget to buy new ones.  I have several set aside to donate).

[giramomma]

Yup drama. At least you know about it. I didnt.

Since you already have nothing to lose by being on the pip, I absolutely would lodge a hostile/ intimidating behavior compliant.

The other thing you could do is request a meeting with your supervisor to talk about progress towards improving, having HR being there and asking about bathroom breaks 

If I didn't have to stay with my employer I absolutely would have gone nuclear. 

It is ok to do the right thing.

[TheOtherMe]

I bitch at myself when I find a tissue made it to the laundry and I only have myself to blame.  It makes me be much more careful for a couple of years at least.  

I hate cleaning up kleenex out of dried clothes and the dryer filter.

[TheOtherMe]

Nov 21, 2024 15:56:47 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Drama - I wouldn't give this company any credit that you will stay on with them no matter what you do. You could do or find something that will save the company your annual salary in costs 10x over, it sounds like they have it out for you. Its shitty timing but I would apply to every job you can even if theyre far away or have other downsides so that if the ax falls you'll still have applications out there. It just takes a long time these days.

This Drama.  This.  

[weltz]

Oh My!  My hairdresser, Dennis, called to see if I needed anything. I'm to call him if I do.
I have too many people offering to help.
I llike that.

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2024 18:38:23 GMT -5 saveinla said:

Can use some good vibes and/or prayers - going in an hour for a laser procedure to fix my recurring corneal erosion in one eye. 

Hope it fixes it once and for all - this has happened 3 times this year and the doctor says there is a 90% chance of success, which is all I can hope for.

Did it go well?

[giramomma]

Nov 21, 2024 17:09:21 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Nov 21, 2024 17:05:02 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Hahaha

I am now typing on a kindle. My typing is crappy on said kindle,

Do you need a computer?  I can probably supply you with a fairly decent one. (DH has an annual budget to buy new ones.  I have several set aside to donate).

thank you for the offer i am good. if i get the consulting job i'll buy a new computer. the kindle is good on that i'm spending less
time on devices and doing other things which is better for my mental health....not so good for typing haha

[giramomma]

so part of ds's job is to go over trade ins. which means he finds stuff, and finders keepers losers weepers.

ds found a gc to olive garden with 20 on it, which will cover a plate . dh and i are eating out tomorrow night. date night!