what are you doing right now?

[giramomma]

Nov 11, 2024 10:41:48 GMT -5 azucena said:

Nov 11, 2024 9:46:53 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

So annoyed with Abby.   She wanted to get her ears pierced again and has been asking me for months.  I told her no because of last time.  I finally gave in because I figured if she has been asking for months she must be serious this time.

Nope.  Got woken up at 5am to a tantrum because she didn't like how it felt and she wanted them out.  I was pissed.  

I told her I am not putting them back in and this IT.  I am not giving permission or signing off on ANYTHING anymore.  She can decide for herself at 18 when it is her own money she is wasting.  I am DONE.

I honestly don't care if she pierces her ears or not.  What I care is we didn't even get 24 hours into it before she had a fit.  That is $100 I spent for nothing, getting kids' ears pierced isn't cheap anymore.

I keep getting hit with this same sort of thing with DD12 and signing her up for sports and other programs. I've taken to covering my butt by putting it in front of her in writing and having her physically sign it.

DH and I have also learned that putting curfew and other key parenting instructions in group text to DD16 so there's no blow back of hey dad told me I could stay out til 11 on this school night, etc. We ask her to acknowledge the text and then we can call it back up when she says oh, I must have misunderstood what you said.

She blew through midnight curfew Fri night and strolled in at 12:45 after being at her boyfriend's. Not the first time so I'd said grounded for rest of weekend. DH caved and let bf come over bc DD claimed she needed his help to prep for math test. I got home and found them watching a movie instead of studying. I should have kicked him out but I get so, so tired of being the bad guy when DH was in the next room watching football and acting completely clueless. Go online this morning to check schedules bc there's a half day Weds that messes up entire week's class schedule and my driving routine. Yeah, DD has multiple math hws missing. Guess who's coming home from school and doing math all evening with me sitting beside her?!

oh i am so sorry.

i will say for as much ds drove us mad with grades, he never broke curfew..

DD1 is pretty much a saint iof a teen too.

also so grateful that there has been minimal dating.

Midnight curfews are for dances and that's it.


in my parts dd1 can't drive past midnight. if it was an issue, i'd probably call the cops see if it was possible to have them arrested
for driving when they shouldn't be.

maybe hire a math tutor and take it out of her fun money? oh gee id really like to splurge on this fun thing that you wanrted. but we
had to spend the money on a
tutor instead......

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 11, 2024 10:41:48 GMT -5 azucena said:

Nov 11, 2024 9:46:53 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

So annoyed with Abby.   She wanted to get her ears pierced again and has been asking me for months.  I told her no because of last time.  I finally gave in because I figured if she has been asking for months she must be serious this time.

Nope.  Got woken up at 5am to a tantrum because she didn't like how it felt and she wanted them out.  I was pissed.  

I told her I am not putting them back in and this IT.  I am not giving permission or signing off on ANYTHING anymore.  She can decide for herself at 18 when it is her own money she is wasting.  I am DONE.

I honestly don't care if she pierces her ears or not.  What I care is we didn't even get 24 hours into it before she had a fit.  That is $100 I spent for nothing, getting kids' ears pierced isn't cheap anymore.

I keep getting hit with this same sort of thing with DD12 and signing her up for sports and other programs. I've taken to covering my butt by putting it in front of her in writing and having her physically sign it.

DH and I have also learned that putting curfew and other key parenting instructions in group text to DD16 so there's no blow back of hey dad told me I could stay out til 11 on this school night, etc. We ask her to acknowledge the text and then we can call it back up when she says oh, I must have misunderstood what you said.

She blew through midnight curfew Fri night and strolled in at 12:45 after being at her boyfriend's. Not the first time so I'd said grounded for rest of weekend. DH caved and let bf come over bc DD claimed she needed his help to prep for math test. I got home and found them watching a movie instead of studying. I should have kicked him out but I get so, so tired of being the bad guy when DH was in the next room watching football and acting completely clueless. Go online this morning to check schedules bc there's a half day Weds that messes up entire week's class schedule and my driving routine. Yeah, DD has multiple math hws missing. Guess who's coming home from school and doing math all evening with me sitting beside her?!

I understand what you mean about being tired of being the bad guy. I was a single parent, so I was the bad guy by default lol. But I get it that your DH should also enforce the boundaries and rules, so that it’s not just always on you to do it. 

[saveinla]

Nov 11, 2024 10:37:44 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Nov 11, 2024 8:25:18 GMT -5 steph08 said:

As they say, if you're going through hell, keep on going.

Caught the kids' stomach bug and was up most of the night. Not a good combo with the pneumonia and coughing. Hopefully through the worst now. Trying to figure out how to eat something so I can take my antibiotic without upsetting my stomach more.

DH also caught it - he left yesterday for a hunting trip. I feel bad and was hoping he'd make it out before he got sick. I'm usually the one that goes on vacation and ends up sick in a hotel room.

Ugh, like you needed more health issues!  I hope things start to resolve soon.  Saltines and ginger ale are my go-tos.

Plain yogurt without sugar works too.

[Pink Cashmere]

When I got home from working my side gig this morning, the Jeep was in the garage and Mister and Kiddo were on their backs underneath it. When I was walking through the garage, I said a friendly “heyyyy! What are y’all doing?” Mister said “changing the oil in the Jeep so the engine doesn’t lock up”. I asked, did it have any oil in it? He said “just barely”.

I asked that because before I left home this morning, Mister asked me about the oil in the Jeep, as if I hadn’t already told him it needed some. He said he was probably going to take it somewhere for an oil change since if something happens to the engine, it’s gonna be on him to fix it. It was another dig when he made the engine locking up comment when I got home. Once we learned that it burns oil, I started regularly asking him to check the oil, which he may or may not actually do. I know I could check the oil myself, but I don’t want to, so that’s that on that, as far as any potential comments about me doing it myself.

Idk why he decided to change the oil himself instead of taking it somewhere, besides it giving him a reason to use air powered tools with his new air compressor. I heard whatever tool he was using when I walked into the garage.

But anyway, despite all of that, it kind of warmed my heart to see Kiddo under the Jeep with Mister. I like to see men showing their sons how to do practical stuff like that, and it made me have an image of Mister and his Dad doing similar stuff, since Mister only knows how to work on cars because his Dad showed him things and taught him when Mister was growing up.

A couple hours later, Mister informed me that he discovered that the spare tire on the Jeep was flat when he was fooling with the Jeep today, and he’d put some air in it. Okay, thank you. 

So now I don’t have a reason to just hop in the Tahoe every day anymore lol. 

It is weird how I’m learning that I get better results and some action when I just make things his inconvenience or problem to deal with, more than when I just ask him to do something. That doesn’t work for every situation, but I have been paying attention to how that works and I’m not above using that tactic whenever it makes sense. Me not getting upset or fussing and fighting, but finding my own solution that makes it his problem and not just mine, is better for my mental health when I can do it.

[Pink Cashmere]

A couple hours ago, he was on the phone trying to replace his corporate issued credit card that he tore the house up looking for. He’s never used the corporate credit cards, and just puts them away somewhere “safe”. He was looking for it today, because he told me a few days ago that he is traveling next week for work, to a “symposium”. That is another story.

Anyway, when he got off the phone with the cc issuer, he said, I” didn’t think about today being a holiday when I called them”. When he said that, I was walking through the den to the laundry room. I didn’t respond.  When I walked back through the den I asked “did you think about today being our anniversary” and he was like “Oh shit!” Then, being whatever he is, he asked “well why haven’t you given me a gift then”. I said “why would I, when you didn’t even know what today is” and kept walking. 

We have never given each other gifts on our anniversary, we just use to go out for dinner to celebrate it. So that was a bullshit attempt to deflect when he asked me that.

After I went back outside on the deck, he came out and said “I’m sorry, I really just forgot” and asked if I want to go out next weekend. Nope. I didn’t say it today, but I’ve said it to him before…. I’m not interested in and do not want crumbs.

So now he doesn’t know what to do or how to act.

[azucena]

Nov 11, 2024 15:50:34 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Nov 11, 2024 10:41:48 GMT -5 azucena said:

I keep getting hit with this same sort of thing with DD12 and signing her up for sports and other programs. I've taken to covering my butt by putting it in front of her in writing and having her physically sign it.

DH and I have also learned that putting curfew and other key parenting instructions in group text to DD16 so there's no blow back of hey dad told me I could stay out til 11 on this school night, etc. We ask her to acknowledge the text and then we can call it back up when she says oh, I must have misunderstood what you said.

She blew through midnight curfew Fri night and strolled in at 12:45 after being at her boyfriend's. Not the first time so I'd said grounded for rest of weekend. DH caved and let bf come over bc DD claimed she needed his help to prep for math test. I got home and found them watching a movie instead of studying. I should have kicked him out but I get so, so tired of being the bad guy when DH was in the next room watching football and acting completely clueless. Go online this morning to check schedules bc there's a half day Weds that messes up entire week's class schedule and my driving routine. Yeah, DD has multiple math hws missing. Guess who's coming home from school and doing math all evening with me sitting beside her?!

oh i am so sorry.

i will say for as much ds drove us mad with grades, he never broke curfew..

DD1 is pretty much a saint iof a teen too.

also so grateful that there has been minimal dating.

Midnight curfews are for dances and that's it.

in my parts dd1 can't drive past midnight. if it was an issue, i'd probably call the cops see if it was possible to have them arrested
for driving when they shouldn't be.

maybe hire a math tutor and take it out of her fun money? oh gee id really like to splurge on this fun thing that you wanrted. but we
had to spend the money on a
tutor instead......

She's usually such a good kid that DH and I are struggling to get on the same page for consequences. She's also usually handling her hw. Coming off the play and spending time with her bf are def cutting into hw time.

We've even said, hey if you're running late don't speed because we're not going to hold you to the min. I remember driving way to fast to get home for my earlier curfew. Meanwhile we can see from life360 that DD just isn't even attempting to leave bf's house or other places until curfew or after and then saying oh, I didn't know you meant be home by then which is such a lie and cop out.

Def growing pains for her only having a license a few months and gaining independence and she's also pushing back bc she feels we are too strict but this is a place where our parenting is actually lax or in line with most.

The dating thing is also a whole new world as this is her second bf, first one was short lived. Plus bonus teen is also dating and hasn't really had any rules/structure around that, but she's been completely amiable to what we've required of her in pretty much every regard.

What's crazy is that I've been providing a bit of help for teen for the exact same math hw even from the same teacher, just different hours.

[Pink Cashmere]

My goodness, I better not ever go so long without washing my clothes again. I was fooling with laundry from the time I got up yesterday morning, until I tapped out around 3 or 4 pm. I got back on it today soon after I got back home from working my side gig. I am over it for today, I’m done after what’s in the washer gets dried and out away. And I’m STILL not done.

In addition to my mountains of clothes, I am also washing other things, like bed linens, towels, and rugs. All of the clothes is what threw me so far behind though. I am SO over washing, folding and hanging clothes. I feel blessed to have more clothes than I really need even though I admit it is a ridiculous amount, and I know it’s my own fault that I’ve had to wash so many at one time. But still.

[NastyWoman]

Reason number I-don't- know-how-many plus one that I am happy to be retired. Last night sleep eluded me, a lifelong problem, and I was still awake at 6:15am. I was really kind of PO'd about that but my bed was cozy so I stayed where I was. I turned over to look at the clock yet again and it was 1pm. 
Now if I still were working I would have had today off anyway but this would have really irritated me for sleeping away half of one of my few days off. Now? I just stretched out and went I really needed that so who cares. 

Life can be good  for truly lazy me 

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 11, 2024 17:11:40 GMT -5 azucena said:

Nov 11, 2024 15:50:34 GMT -5 giramomma said:

oh i am so sorry.

i will say for as much ds drove us mad with grades, he never broke curfew..

DD1 is pretty much a saint iof a teen too.

also so grateful that there has been minimal dating.

Midnight curfews are for dances and that's it.

in my parts dd1 can't drive past midnight. if it was an issue, i'd probably call the cops see if it was possible to have them arrested
for driving when they shouldn't be.

maybe hire a math tutor and take it out of her fun money? oh gee id really like to splurge on this fun thing that you wanrted. but we
had to spend the money on a
tutor instead......

She's usually such a good kid that DH and I are struggling to get on the same page for consequences. She's also usually handling her hw. Coming off the play and spending time with her bf are def cutting into hw time.

We've even said, hey if you're running late don't speed because we're not going to hold you to the min. I remember driving way to fast to get home for my earlier curfew. Meanwhile we can see from life360 that DD just isn't even attempting to leave bf's house or other places until curfew or after and then saying oh, I didn't know you meant be home by then which is such a lie and cop out.

Def growing pains for her only having a license a few months and gaining independence and she's also pushing back bc she feels we are too strict but this is a place where our parenting is actually lax or in line with most.

The dating thing is also a whole new world as this is her second bf, first one was short lived. Plus bonus teen is also dating and hasn't really had any rules/structure around that, but she's been completely amiable to what we've required of her in pretty much every regard.

What's crazy is that I've been providing a bit of help for teen for the exact same math hw even from the same teacher, just different hours.

I got my driver’s license my junior year in high school, when most of my school mates got them our sophomore year. I had to wait, because my Mom did some trickery and got me in school a year before I was supposed to go, so I was  told enough to get a license my sophomore year.

I dint remember what my curfew was when I first got my license, but it was 1am my senior year. We lived out in the county, so that meant that on top of having a curfew when my peers didn’t seem to, I had to leave in enough time to make the long drive home and get there on time.

One of the reasons I never broke curfew was because my Mom was old school as far as corporal punishment. I’d seen her handle men that disrespected her and/or put hands on her when I was a young child, and she was big enough that I preferred not to even tangle with her like that. There was also the fact that when I upset her nerves or whatever, she’d tell me that if I kept on, when she got through with me, there wouldn’t be anything left of me other than a greasy spot. Even as a teenager, that sounded crazy and impossible to me, but I still wasn’t trying to find out how she might try to make that happen lol.

The other thing was that I understood that I had a lot of freedom as long as I followed the few rules she had for me. I was also kind of “spoiled”, and recognized that too. I was never a “bad” child, because I was kind of afraid of her, regardless of how people say that that isn’t an effective way of parenting. It’s not like she was beating on me or anything like that, I just knew that if all else failed, and I did way too much, she did believe in corporal punishment, and I wanted no parts of that. But at the same time, she was laid back enough that she use to tell me that she trusted me and would, until/unless I gave her reason not to. That meant something to me too. I wanted her to keep trusting me, so I could keep having the freedom I had. The freedom was that she would take me to hang out with my friends if I asked her to, no problem. And once I started driving, I didn’t really have to ask if I could go hang with my friends or go to a party. I didn’t even really have to ask if I could drive her car before my grandfather bought me a car while I was in high school. If my Mom was home for the evening (which was most days), I was free to use her car and go wherever I wanted. 

She was also a worrier, even though she let me mostly go wherever I wanted. I understood that she couldn’t really rest when I was out at night, so I was the weirdo that used payphones at parties to call my Mom and assure her that I was okay. That wasn’t something she required, I just use to do it, because I knew she was a worrier. And I never blew my curfew, because I didn’t want her to worry about why I wasn’t home on time, and I didn’t want her to have reason to impose consequences and not let me go anywhere or do what I wanted.

That was what I knew, and I thought I’d be able to raise my own children the same way. But it turned out that my children were very different from me and none of that worked for either of them lol.

None of that really has anything to do with your DD. I just took a trip down memory lane. 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 11, 2024 17:11:40 GMT -5 azucena said:

Nov 11, 2024 15:50:34 GMT -5 giramomma said:

oh i am so sorry.

i will say for as much ds drove us mad with grades, he never broke curfew..

DD1 is pretty much a saint iof a teen too.

also so grateful that there has been minimal dating.

Midnight curfews are for dances and that's it.

in my parts dd1 can't drive past midnight. if it was an issue, i'd probably call the cops see if it was possible to have them arrested
for driving when they shouldn't be.

maybe hire a math tutor and take it out of her fun money? oh gee id really like to splurge on this fun thing that you wanrted. but we
had to spend the money on a
tutor instead......

She's usually such a good kid that DH and I are struggling to get on the same page for consequences. She's also usually handling her hw. Coming off the play and spending time with her bf are def cutting into hw time.

We've even said, hey if you're running late don't speed because we're not going to hold you to the min. I remember driving way to fast to get home for my earlier curfew. Meanwhile we can see from life360 that DD just isn't even attempting to leave bf's house or other places until curfew or after and then saying oh, I didn't know you meant be home by then which is such a lie and cop out.

Def growing pains for her only having a license a few months and gaining independence and she's also pushing back bc she feels we are too strict but this is a place where our parenting is actually lax or in line with most.

The dating thing is also a whole new world as this is her second bf, first one was short lived. Plus bonus teen is also dating and hasn't really had any rules/structure around that, but she's been completely amiable to what we've required of her in pretty much every regard.

What's crazy is that I've been providing a bit of help for teen for the exact same math hw even from the same teacher, just different hours.

About the only thing I can relate to at all is the missing homework!  Both my kids were/are great at that.  But my oldest never had any interest in driving to hang out with friends.  Like zero. I can count on one hand the number of times he drove that wasn't for school, work or running errands for me.  All his social life is on the computer and I never even set a curfew since he never went anywhere!  So, so different than me at that age. I only came home to sleep once I got my license and even then not always.

I don't think Carrot is going to be as easy on me as his brother was.

 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Kicking myself for letting all those things go that I was going to get done before Winter.

Had the plumber out today to figure out what was wrong with my septic alarm. I helped him a lot to try and speed things along at $120/hour and that's all running as it should now, but I think the outside lights are going to have to wait until next year.  Ex has now spent 12 weekends in a row at his parent's place cleaning up the hoarder mess and just doesn't have time to help me there. I could just hire an electrician, but the weather is turning fast and he'd probably charge me an arm and a leg for something Ex would do for free...someday.

[andi9899]

Nov 10, 2024 21:41:01 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Well, giramomma.  Here's a great idea for your stash.  These mini pigs are selling for $30/each on Etsy!

Those are so cute!

[Cookies Galore]

Went to Target yesterday to pick up some household needs and also did a little retail therapy for myself. I have been sleeping on The Lip Bar! I like a bold lip in fall/winter and I think I found my new signature lippie. Target didn't have Big Gretch so I bought It Girl. Love it!
thelipbar.com/products/liquid-matte

[Pink Cashmere]

Sometime during the past year or less, I started watching videos from Judge Judy on YouTube. I dint really know why, so don’t judge me! LOL!

Several months ago, I actually started learning something from Judge Judy’s style. There have been some videos where I disagreed with how she handled the case and ruled on the case, because as intelligent as she is, and despite her knowledge about laws, sometimes she doesn’t “get” things because of her privilege and lack of understanding about how some things work in the real world, and her bias, based on her personal experiences and thoughts, gets in the way.

For example, when there are cases involving dog bites, if the dog is a “pit bull”, it is already an uphill battle for the person that owns the dog, to prove their case, unless they can dot every I and T to prove without any doubt how they keep their dog under control and their dog did not behave in a way that any other dog might have, in the same circumstances. Judge Judy likes dogs, but has a problem with pit bulls, and often gives lectures about how dangerous they are, and has an article taped to her desk about how dangerous they are, and often refers to other events where pit bulls harmed or worse, humans and/or animals. So anyone in her courtroom is basically doomed if the case involves their dog and it’s a pit bull. 

Anyway, what I’ve learned from watching those videos for many months, is how to stay focused on the business at hand and not get sidetracked by deflection and irrelevant nonsense. I am still not as good as it as she is, but I see that it is possible and how to do it. Of course my real life is nothing like what she does in a courtroom for a television show, but I have found value and learned from watching how she is all about the facts and doesn’t entertain any extra stuff.

[jerseygirl]

Had a reaction Massive shaking couldn’t hold tea cup or walk easily
Might be from dermatology visit. I’ve used skin chemo on arms for a total of a month. Most lesions on arms and hands were cleared up but some spots remained. Dermatologist froze about 8 of them. She also did 2 biopsies one on jaw and one on lower leg. About 4 years ago had basal cell carcinoma removed. Now there’s something on other side of leg
She will notify me about biopsies in 2 weeks. I’ve had so many being a fair skin freckled red head that had no serious sun blocks till I was in my thirties
So took 3 ibuprofen and put on thick flannel pjs and cozy robe. Under a heavy quilt in bed
Finally calmed down . Had similar reaction first time I got a dose of Keytruda. Tumor or other cells breaking down will cause this reaction
Crappy skin I inherited
Anyway happy I’m feeling better and can drink the tea

[Works4me]

Nov 11, 2024 19:13:55 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Went to Target yesterday to pick up some household needs and also did a little retail therapy for myself. I have been sleeping on The Lip Bar! I like a bold lip in fall/winter and I think I found my new signature lippie. Target didn't have Big Gretch so I bought It Girl. Love it!
thelipbar.com/products/liquid-matte

Out of curiosity, what is your coloring like?

[busymom]

Went to Target just before dinner tonight, assuming they must've restocked their shelves from the weekend.  Wrong!  Some of the shelves in the food section were completely empty, like a blizzard is coming & people are stocking up, or something.  It's a Super Target too, so they're usually better than the smaller Targets, but not this time.  Not sure if it's a supply/demand thing, or if there are still glitches in the supply chain.   

[wvugurl26]

Guessing whether the shelves will be stocked or not is the most frustrating part of grocery shopping for me. At my particular Target, I don't think they have enough people to stock shelves. Often when I go in there, the aisles and paths through the store are just piled full of boxes while prime space end caps are empty. I heard that Target ended their overnight stocking shift during covid. In this case it doesn't seem to be a supply issue. I stopped going to that Target much because it's just a hot mess.

[Cookies Galore]

Nov 11, 2024 19:44:36 GMT -5 Works4me said:

Nov 11, 2024 19:13:55 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Went to Target yesterday to pick up some household needs and also did a little retail therapy for myself. I have been sleeping on The Lip Bar! I like a bold lip in fall/winter and I think I found my new signature lippie. Target didn't have Big Gretch so I bought It Girl. Love it!
thelipbar.com/products/liquid-matte

Out of curiosity, what is your coloring like?

Pale redhead.

[Opti]

Nov 11, 2024 19:44:55 GMT -5 busymom said:

Went to Target just before dinner tonight, assuming they must've restocked their shelves from the weekend.  Wrong!  Some of the shelves in the food section were completely empty, like a blizzard is coming & people are stocking up, or something.  It's a Super Target too, so they're usually better than the smaller Targets, but not this time.  Not sure if it's a supply/demand thing, or if there are still glitches in the supply chain.   

More shoppers because of Veteran's Day?

[Opti]

I've been watching Project Runway on Tubi. If you need a laugh, season 11 episode 9 might make you laugh. They are to make clothes for the Thunder Down Under. The construction and tear aways do not go as planned.

[TheOtherMe]

I am going to go to my Christmas card list and remove my friend's name.  She was always very good about exchanging cards until the last few years when she got sick.  Some years she sent them and some years she did.  So another name of my list.  This one hurts.  

I removed all of my local stations from Dish.  I'm calling them tomorrow to see if I can buy out my contract and be done.  DVR doesn't work and I don't want the service.  I would rather pay the lump sum and be done.   If there is a fee to do it, I will unhook the equipment and not use it and put it on my calendar when the contract is up so I can cancel it.

I'm thinking You Tube TV might get me the best bang for my buck?  I'm waiting for Black Friday deals.  Since I no longer care about cable news shows, they are not a consideration.  

I enjoy my Peacock and want to watch it.

[weltz]

'I know how to check oil in a vehicle, and I’m pretty sure I can figure out where to put oil in one. But I am being ornery 'and want Mister to put the oil in the Jeep instead of doing it myself.

Isn't that the weaponised incompetence that the women complain about?

[weltz]

Nov 11, 2024 19:37:44 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

Had a reaction Massive shaking couldn’t hold tea cup or walk easily
Might be from dermatology visit. I’ve used skin chemo on arms for a total of a month. Most lesions on arms and hands were cleared up but some spots remained. Dermatologist froze about 8 of them. She also did 2 biopsies one on jaw and one on lower leg. About 4 years ago had basal cell carcinoma removed. Now there’s something on other side of leg
She will notify me about biopsies in 2 weeks. I’ve had so many being a fair skin freckled red head that had no serious sun blocks till I was in my thirties
So took 3 ibuprofen and put on thick flannel pjs and cozy robe. Under a heavy quilt in bed
Finally calmed down . Had similar reaction first time I got a dose of Keytruda. Tumor or other cells breaking down will cause this reaction
Crappy skin I inherited
Anyway happy I’m feeling better and can drink the tea

So very sorry.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Ran errands this afternoon.  Dropped the 2 prints we bought on the world cruise, one in Israel and the other in Honfleur at the framers.  I like working with this woman because she seems to automatically know the look I’m looking for.  I’m happy with the choices we made.  

Next stop was Costco, and it was a flipping zoo.  This was worse than what it’s like a few days before Christmas!  Needed gas, but the gas bar lines were long.  I’m meeting my neighbor for lunch tomorrow, so will fill up then since we are going up to Vancouver later this week.  

[weltz]

My cancer surgery is coming up soon, where they will remove a goodly portion of my lungs.
But guess what? I'm getting a KITTEN.
 It may invigorate Sushi, who does his best to impersonate a doorstop. He doesn't play at all.

[Pink Cashmere]

This post and whatever post I might make from now in tonight is just me rambling about random stuff, so I won’t be upset if everyone just keeps scrolling without commenting. I am indulging in adult beverages this evening, so that is my disclaimer for the rest of the night.

I just saw another reel on FB from a hair stylist, regarding Black women who choose to wear their hair in its natural state.

For a long time now, I’ve been trying to talk myself into going to a professional to help me tend to my natural hair, or at least cut it into some kind of style. When my hair was relaxed, even though I’d learned how to relax, apply bleach and color, and cut it, as a teenager, as an adult, when I could afford it, I preferred to have professionals do all of that. And I could afford it consistently, for many years. Things just went awry when I stopped relaxing my hair, and that wasn’t an issue of what I could afford to pay, it became an issue of hair stylists that worked with and knew how to take care of my kind of natural hair. 

And that is when I first learned that paying a professional to tend to my natural hair cost a whole lot more money than I’d pay for for a professional to deal with my hair when it was relaxed. And even if I paid someone all the money they charged to deal with my natural hair, that didn’t necessarily mean that they really knew what they were doing.

I just looked into a person I ran across on FB a couple of days ago, that specializes in natural hair like mine. And again, I was disappointed to see that just a hair cut costs over $200, even if I arrive at my appoint with freshly washed, detangled hair with no products in it. And I get hung up on the “no products” rule, because my hair is a totally different thing with no styling products in it, vs with styling products. So I’m not sure how a “curly cut” would even make sense if it’s done on my dry hair with no products to define my curls. 

And I am not willing to pay at least $200 to find out. 

I was so use to having color in my hair that I paid almost $300 just to have a professional colorist bleach and color my hair while it was a mix of natural and relaxed hair. The sides and back of my head had been cut so short by then, basically shaved  (by a “natural” stylist that did such a bad job that even I could see it), that I really only had hair on the top of my head, which was a mix of a few inches of new growth… natural hair…. and several inches of relaxed hair. So I paid almost $300 to just color the hair on the top of my head because I didn’t want to risk damaging the little natural hair I’d grown, and I felt like I did t even have $10 worth of hair at the time.

I understood then and even now, how bleach can damage naturally curly/coily hair like mine. And even though I bleached and colored my hair willy nilly while it was relaxed, myself or with a professional doing it, I am weird now about doing anything to my hair that might damage it and ruin my natural curls and coils, even though the tight curls and curls drive me nuts. And even though my hair is surely even healthier and stronger now, than when I was using all those chemicals to make it straight, and regularly using curling irons and whatever other kinds of high heat to maintain the look, and bleach and dye too.

My hair was healthy even when I was doing all of that, so I’m not sure why I feel like it is so much more fragile now, in its natural state. 

Anyway, I can’t wrap my mind around paying over $200 just for a hair cut just because my hair is its natural self now. That $200+ does not even include a shampoo or any additional services. It is just the going rate to cut hair like mine, and includes some rules about how my hair must be when I come to get it cut. The fuck?!

[skeeter]

Nov 11, 2024 21:27:32 GMT -5 weltz said:

My cancer surgry is coming up soon, where they will remove a goodly portion of my lungs.
But guess what? I'm getting a KITTEN.
 It may invigorate Sushi, who does his best to impersonate a doorstop. He doesn't play at all.

Care to share the details (age, color, etc.,etc.)?

Also, what date is your surgery>

[chiver78]

Nov 11, 2024 21:07:29 GMT -5 weltz said:

'I know how to check oil in a vehicle, and I’m pretty sure I can figure out where to put oil in one. But I am being ornery 'and want Mister to put the oil in the Jeep instead of doing it myself.

Isn't that the weaponised incompetence that the women complain about?

not at all. she could also go to Valvoline like I do, for an oil change. from another post of hers, Mister said he would take care of it. so this one is on him. and when she's had enough of the bullshit, she will go get the oil changed.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My dad changes my oil. When I've taken care of it myself he gets huffy.

Mom said let him have it. It makes him feel useful.

I always pay for the oil. I also pay for parts if needed. He doesn't charge me labor.

I don't take it in. Stupid car runs on synthetic oil which the shops upcharge out the wazoo for.