what are you doing right now?

[andi9899]

Aug 2, 2022 15:33:13 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Aug 2, 2022 14:40:13 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Weighing going to the gym or drinking beer instead. Thoughts?

Gym then beer.

Normally I would do that. Today was rough! I figure I workout 2 hours a day 4 days a week, one skipped day won't kill me. I really needed a rest.

[toomuchreality]

Aug 2, 2022 19:42:27 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Aug 2, 2022 15:33:13 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Gym then beer.

Normally I would do that. Today was rough! I figure I workout 2 hours a day 4 days a week, one skipped day won't kill me. I really needed a rest.

🍻 Cheers!

[busymom]

DD's air conditioner just pooped out in that old house she bought.  I'm running over to drop off a fan so she'll at least have something.  With a heat index of over 100 degrees, it's going to be rough until she can get that unit replaced.  I was stunned to find out the sticker on the AC says "1982".  Holy carp!  

[countrygirl2]

I'm not religious. At one time I thought I could become so, but I have seen so much prejudice, hate, bigotry, you name it in so called religious people, I decided nope.

All the aunts and uncles in my family are deceased. In hubs he has just a few left, we do have a few cousins but not many. So the only real close family left is son, DIL, and grandson plus our DD.

I figure people are mammals, we live so long we die, it's just the normal cycle of life. I've read most societies have some type of religion in their lives. It seems to be something people need.  I likely need it too but I've survived without it so far, always had to be tough, still am. 

I was very sad when losing dad and mom, it left a hole, dad moreso then mom because he died way to soon. Mom was in her 80's, not that far from my age and ill, so like MIL, it was her time. I didn't want to see her suffer longer and she did health wise. I remember hearing mom say well, I never thought this would happen to me. I said mom we all get old, noone ever escapes it. I know I won't, just hope when I go, it is sudden and I'm gone. I don't want to think about it and be miserable for years, same for hubs. We will miss each other, but we lived apart so many years, in a way that is a good thing. I likely need him more than he needs me, though hard to tell.

Hubs and grandson are in bed, they are going to leave early, hubs has been packing stuff all day. DIL wants to know when I'm coming up. I told son before, we can't afford to go and stay in hotels while up there. It would work without DD but with her until they get a crafts building for DIL and all the stuff out of the 3rd bedroom we just can't come and stay. And like his dad he is waiting for the price of lumber to come down. But I'm worried about son, his stomach is real big. He almost looks like someone with a pregnancy carried high. His back hurts him so bad, DIL says he just eats and lays in bed. He needs to be back in the office, he gets up really early and gets his work done. She said he hadn't done much of anything in the yard lately. I wish he would go for a checkup, I really wonder if he has a tumor. If I was up there, I could make him go, he does listen to me, and also if I went with him. He isn't fat anywhere else is why I wonder. But he waited till the appendix almost killed him, I fear he will do the same if something else is wrong. 

I had a small bowl of ice cream, have been wanting some for 2 or 3 months, finally broke down. Will be glad when it's gone.

Been coughing last night and now again today, eating ice cream won't help, will need to gargle before going to bed.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Mom is doing okay. I bet dad isn't going to sleep he's going to be worried her heart will stop.

Hopefully mom finally gets some. Between the noise and having to keep her leg ram rod straight sleep wasn't coming easy. That should help with the delirium too.

If I didn't have to worry about work I'd go so he could sleep but I have to focus.

My manager and manager's manager don't have any major concerns about my performance but clearly Peacock.#2 does.

IDK care what she thinks but I also want to make sure I Don give her ammo either.

I cleaned before I left top to bottom. I cross checked all my racks too. I had the time to breathe so now was the time to double check.

Which I intended to do anyhow. I asked and was told samples come first so that's what I did till I was in a good spot.

[azucena]

Aug 2, 2022 16:49:51 GMT -5 CCL said:

Aug 2, 2022 16:22:31 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Mister is home from work now, so I have to get myself together. If he sees me crying, he’s going to try to make me talk, and I don’t want to.

He called me this morning right after I learned my friend had died, and I was crying like a baby when I answered the phone. So he knows about that and that it upset me. 

I really just want to go to bed right now and try again tomorrow.

I'm sorry your friend is gone and sorry you've been struggling lately. 

Maybe it's just me personally, but we've experienced a lot of deaths, too. I think some of it has to do with simply getting older. Everyone we know is getting older, too.

For us, it's mostly been family members.  Losing siblings has probably been the hardest. It kinda makes you think you may be next. There have been other family, friends and acquaintances, too. Most were older than us, but some were young.

I kinda agree with you that it's kind of Pink's phase of life exacerbated by covid. Kinda like when we were in our 20s and everyone was getting married. Then, soon after it was babies everywhere particularly noticeable when I was ready to get pregnant myself, it's amazing how many babies I'd run across daily, weekly.

I'm 43 and starting to hit noticeably increased cancer diagnoses and relatives like my aunts, uncles, and mom are noticeably aging.

I can see bumping into more deaths in my next decade.

So maybe the antidote is to consciously surround yourself with a younger crowd. Making more time for your grandkids comes to mind to fill your cup. Know anyone with a baby to borrow for an afternoon? I find myself smiling at babies in restaurants lately and thinking an afternoon of sniffing a sweet baby's head sounds delightful.

[azucena]

Aug 2, 2022 20:59:20 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Mom is doing okay. I bet dad isn't going to sleep he's going to be worried her heart will stop.

Hopefully mom finally gets some. Between the noise and having to keep her leg ram rod straight sleep wasn't coming easy. That should help with the delirium too.

If I didn't have to worry about work I'd go so he could sleep but I have to focus.

My manager and manager's manager don't have any major concerns about my performance but clearly Peacock.#2 does.

IDK care what she thinks but I also want to make sure I Don give her ammo either.

I cleaned before I left top to bottom. I cross checked all my racks too. I had the time to breathe so now was the time to double check.

Which I intended to do anyhow. I asked and was told samples come first so that's what I did till I was in a good spot.

I wonder if you attract peacocks bc you are such a hard worker and strive to do your jobs so well. So this brings bullies out if the woodwork bc they are jealous. Maybe they were the high achiever before you came along and you knocked them off their pedestal. Or maybe they are just shot stirrers. Either which way, I think it's way more about them and way little if anything about you.

Talking to your manager for clarification was a good move. Him/her dragging in other manager seems a little weird.

[busymom]

I did drop off a fan to DD, but her house IS already getting warm.  Plus, this warm front is supposed to stay for quite awhile, so I found one of these & am hoping it'll help:



www.target.com/p/as-seen-on-tv-arctic-air-pure-chill/-/A-81916252?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&fndsrc=tgtao&DFA=71700000012733995&CPNG=PLA_Kitchen%2BShopping%7CKitchen_Ecomm_Home&adgroup=SC_Kitchen_Astv&LID=700000001230728pgs&LNM=PRODUCT_GROUP&network=o&device=c&location=&targetid=pla-4585238373012211&gclid=3e1c0f627af7133d90f16d8ba1a7b875&gclsrc=3p.ds&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1247068&msclkid=3e1c0f627af7133d90f16d8ba1a7b875

[azucena]

Pink - I've become introspective on some of my Christian beliefs lately. Happy to listen via IM or text if you'd like to continue pondering aloud. Fwiw, I've typically felt the same about living together but then realized that I really have no problem with my mom (64) and her bf of 3 yrs (70). She was hiding the "sleepovers" from my girls bc she always had strict rules for us growing up and didn't want to be a "bad" influence. I decided I'd rather just explain to them that Grandma got burned in a bad marriage and doesn't want to do that again esp at her age and with LTC costs looming for bf. Not married maybe isn't the ideal situation but it's way too logical in this case.

Working thru your thoughts on this topic is another good counseling topic. Counselors don't try to influence you on these things, more just guide the thoughts and come to healthy resolution for yourself instead of letting it linger unresolved which takes up a lot of brain space and emotion.

[CCL]

Aug 2, 2022 21:08:29 GMT -5 azucena said:

Aug 2, 2022 16:49:51 GMT -5 CCL said:

I'm sorry your friend is gone and sorry you've been struggling lately. 

Maybe it's just me personally, but we've experienced a lot of deaths, too. I think some of it has to do with simply getting older. Everyone we know is getting older, too.

For us, it's mostly been family members.  Losing siblings has probably been the hardest. It kinda makes you think you may be next. There have been other family, friends and acquaintances, too. Most were older than us, but some were young.

I kinda agree with you that it's kind of Pink's phase of life exacerbated by covid. Kinda like when we were in our 20s and everyone was getting married. Then, soon after it was babies everywhere particularly noticeable when I was ready to get pregnant myself, it's amazing how many babies I'd run across daily, weekly.

I'm 43 and starting to hit noticeably increased cancer diagnoses and relatives like my aunts, uncles, and mom are noticeably aging.

I can see bumping into more deaths in my next decade.

So maybe the antidote is to consciously surround yourself with a younger crowd. Making more time for your grandkids comes to mind to fill your cup. Know anyone with a baby to borrow for an afternoon? I find myself smiling at babies in restaurants lately and thinking an afternoon of sniffing a sweet baby's head sounds delightful.

Yes 50s was when we really started to notice people around us were dying. Hubby and I are both the younger kids in our families, so siblings are 10-15 years older than we are.

I have our grandbabies 2 days a week, they are lots of fun, but wear us out by the end of the day. I loved when they were little and would sleep in my arms for hours. Now they run around and I get to chase them lol.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My mother is dying. She coded an hour ago. They are going to start weaning her off medication and see what happens.

She was fine a couple hours ago.

My dad is totally lost. I've thrown up three times. I'm going to be here all night.

[CCL]

 I'm so sorry NomoreDramaQ1015

[toomuchreality]

Aug 2, 2022 23:28:02 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

My mother is dying. She coded an hour ago. They are going to start weaning her off medication and see what happens.

She was fine a couple hours ago.

My dad is totally lost. I've thrown up three times. I'm going to be here all night.

Oh, no. I'm so sorry.

[raeoflyte]

I'm so sorry drama.

[busymom]

Oh NomoreDramaQ1015!  I am so sorry.  <HUGS>  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'm still up here. The hospital minister is staying with me. DH went home to take care of Abby.

My dad told me call him back. We need to figure out where to put Abby. She shouldn't be here.

He's right I need my spouse.

[stillmovingforward]

I'm so sorry!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Still here and waiting. The minister had to leave.

I fucked up so bad with DH. I said some really mean things when he came back.

We don't have anyone to watch Abby. He refused to call his sister at this time of night and brought Abby back.

She was scared and exhausted so I told him go home and thank his family for nothing.

I told my brother don't you dare tell dad I'm here alone. The nurses check on me.

He can't do it after grandpa. Bob can't either. I'm not judging. I have to do this for me.

[finnime]

Do what you need to do, NomoreDramaQ1015.

[finnime]

Good morning, vigilant, virtual peeps of Y Ma'am proferring snippets of your lives. I hope this day, Wednesday, is peaceful for you.

All the hugs I can extend to you who need them. You are fiercely strong and like a willow tree, bend rather than break in the wind.

[stillmovingforward]

Aug 3, 2022 2:21:24 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Still here and waiting. The minister had to leave.

I fucked up so bad with DH. I said some really mean things when he came back.

We don't have anyone to watch Abby. He refused to call his sister at this time of night and brought Abby back.

She was scared and exhausted so I told him go home and thank his family for nothing.

I told my brother don't you dare tell dad I'm here alone. The nurses check on me.

He can't do it after grandpa. Bob can't either. I'm not judging. I have to do this for me.

Fair. Don't worry about it. You took a huge brunt when your MIL died. He can adult too. Do what you need to now.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I've been texting back and forth with Bob and my dad all night. I wander down to check on mom.

They won't stop the medication till we sign. They try to give a day or two so immediate family can talk to each other.

If she codes it's DNR but she is holding on. The papers need signed to end medication.

I.told dad please don't make me do it by myself.

He was so out of it I think he forgot.

I haven't slept. The nurses check on.me once and awhile.

[finnime]

Thinking of you, Drama. 

[andi9899]

Aug 2, 2022 16:10:26 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

If you don’t want to read anything about God and religion, please feel free to keep scrolling. 

All of these deaths have been constant reminders of my own mortality. I lean more toward spirituality than being religious. That might not make sense to anyone but me, and that’s okay. To ME, that means I am more interested in having my own personal relationship with God, than regularly attending church of a specific denomination. I believe the different denominations are things man came up with, so I’m not impressed with all of that, even though I know the Bible says for us to assemble ourselves.

Because I’ve been constantly reminded of my own mortality because of all these deaths, I think about the biggest thing in my life that I’m doing, that I know is not pleasing to God. That is living in sin with Mister, because we aren’t married.

Every time Mister has mentioned marriage, I have deflected, ducked and dodged, and tried to avoid the subject. So it’s not on him that we aren’t married, it’s on me. We have been in a serious relationship for 7 years now, not including the time before that, when we were just playing around with each other.

So when I think about the things I should be doing according to my beliefs, and the things I need to do to get my life together, my life with Mister is a biggie. 

A few months ago, he brought marriage up again and wanted to do it this year. He threw July out there as the month we could do it. I ducked and dodged, hemmed and hawed, until he left it alone. 

Now I feel some type of way about “living in sin”, and I’m not sure what to do about it. We both say we are stuck with each other, but I still have trouble wrapping my mind around getting married. But I also don’t want to keep sinning in God’s eyes. At this point, I may have deflected and avoided so often that Mister doesn’t even want it anymore.

Anyway, that is some of the stuff that was on my mind yesterday.

I have the same kind of relationship with God. I'm baptized catholic but don't really attend church or do what I'm supposed to do as far as catholic beliefs. I live my life for myself and just try to be an overall good person.

I don't believe that you have to get married because "it's what you're supposed to be doing." I feel like when it's time for you to get married you'll be so ready that you'll feel it so strongly you'll want to throw yourself in head first. In my experience with things doing something because you feel like you're supposed to or because it's the logical next step doesn't work out so well. JMO. Carry on.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Dad is here. We're meeting with the doctor shortly. I'm letting him have time alone.

Not sure Bob and I should let him out of our sight for a few days.

My mom wanted him to read her poetry. Problem is a lot of her darker stuff is mixed in. Pretty sure she doesn't want him reading that but he did and now he's really spiraling.

I feel so helpless right now.

[andi9899]

Well, since I started drinking beer so early I fell asleep way early and have been up for about an hour. I'm trying to quietly entertain myself until it's a decent hour to wake up the twins and start making noise.

[andi9899]

Aug 2, 2022 23:28:02 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

My mother is dying. She coded an hour ago. They are going to start weaning her off medication and see what happens.

She was fine a couple hours ago.

My dad is totally lost. I've thrown up three times. I'm going to be here all night.

I'm so sorry.

[bean29]

I am so sorry. Drama.

Abby will be OK. Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for.

[taz157]

I’m so sorry NomoreDramaQ1015. ((((Hugs))))

[ners]

I am so sorry NomoreDramaQ1015.