minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Oct 15, 2024 12:19:56 GMT -5
Well crap. We got an EOB for DS back in March, but never received a bill. He is covered under two insurance companies, so after 6 months of no bill I just assumed the other company picked it up and spent the money. Well, guess what came in the mail today! It sucks not having access to any of the info from the other company. It's with his dad's insurance and they won't even let him see the EOBs for adult children...mine doesn't seem to care...and they're both Blue Cross Blue Shield so go figure, but one is TX and one is MN.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Oct 15, 2024 12:21:17 GMT -5
After breakfast and a shower we went to 2 dealerships so I could look at a new vehicle. This is my elimination round and then I'll drive the 2 finalists. The VW Tiquan was perfect but a bit more than I want to spend. The Honda CR-V was only $4K less, but very bare bones in both styling and accessories. We're going to look at the KIA SUV's Thursday. I'm going to run some online calculators to see what my payment might look like depending on what I put down. DH actually is want to go back to the VW dealer and test drive a GLI. If he likes it, we might make a salesperson very happy. I REALLY liked the sales guy at VW because he listened to what I said I wanted and talked to me, not to DH. No pressure, just gave me the facts all printed out including specs. Poor guy at Honda smokes and wears heavy cologne to try and hide it
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Oct 15, 2024 12:30:30 GMT -5
I am very scared to about this election. Sure we have passports but getting our money out and having enough worries me. All these years we did great, this time got too much in real estate. I knew at some point real estate would crater but it did it before I thought it would.
I'm afraid we will go into a deep recession, damn I hope not.
But I'm more scared of actions one candidate is promising. And I don't even have stocks of everything like I did before. I would sure feel better with all we had stocked back home.
Just hope it all turns out ok.
We have a heart doc appointment for DD tomorrow, so pleased about that.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Oct 15, 2024 12:31:18 GMT -5
After breakfast and a shower we went to 2 dealerships so I could look at a new vehicle. This is my elimination round and then I'll drive the 2 finalists. The VW Tiquan was perfect but a bit more than I want to spend. The Honda CR-V was only $4K less, but very bare bones in both styling and accessories. We're going to look at the KIA SUV's Thursday. I'm going to run some online calculators to see what my payment might look like depending on what I put down. DH actually is want to go back to the VW dealer and test drive a GLI. If he likes it, we might make a salesperson very happy. I REALLY liked the sales guy at VW because he listened to what I said I wanted and talked to me, not to DH. No pressure, just gave me the facts all printed out including specs. Poor guy at Honda smokes and wears heavy cologne to try and hide it I mentioned here earlier that my DS is going to buy my mom's car. Well DS had the keys and my DB had to check some stuff on the car (battery was dead). Anyways, I lost the keys and checked inside the car to see if they might be in it. Well, the car smelled strongly of smoke. DS's husband has supposedly quit smoking. Well given they way that car smells like smoke, I'm gonna guess he is smoking again. He was feeling so poorly 2 years ago at Christmas he quit smoking cold turkey. His dad and 2 siblings died from congestive heart failure.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Oct 15, 2024 12:50:42 GMT -5
I am very scared to about this election. Sure we have passports but getting our money out and having enough worries me. All these years we did great, this time got too much in real estate. I knew at some point real estate would crater but it did it before I thought it would. I'm afraid we will go into a deep recession, damn I hope not. But I'm more scared of actions one candidate is promising. And I don't even have stocks of everything like I did before. I would sure feel better with all we had stocked back home. Just hope it all turns out ok. We have a heart doc appointment for DD tomorrow, so pleased about that. I'm concerned that whoever wins we might see some violence. Even though the dockworker strike was suspended, I'm still going to fill the pantry before election day, just in case it gets a little crazy around here. Hoping it'll just be a big nothingburger. Hope all goes well for your DD at her appointment.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Oct 15, 2024 12:52:10 GMT -5
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 15, 2024 12:54:28 GMT -5
Our finances are messy and we are still holding OK. Messy, as in, we are moving money from different buckets to square up. I was hoping to have a better picture by now of things. And then it's getting paused to get DS's finances set, and then it will all change when he leaves. First world problems, right now, I suppose.
I have to check with DH, because I don't look at what we spend in groceries. I *think* we'll still be able to cover our food and mortgage on one of my paychecks after everything shakes out. Which leaves my other paycheck for everything else. (How's that for budgeting?)
I am also shocked at how little our HELOC is costing us. DH knows he has to take that over next month. He should be able to start paying it down like right now, and he'll still end up OK. I'm so glad I made the leap. It's been so good.
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weltz
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Post by weltz on Oct 15, 2024 13:04:27 GMT -5
I know a few people here have Therapists they talk to, but I don't remember if you are one of them. It does seem you have a lot on your plate, and a therapist might help you manage the load. I often think of Beth and wonder how her kids are doing. I am very glad your family still has you physically in their lives. Whatever happens with the finances, your family will find a way to manage the situation. Your kids are getting older, and there is no reason that you need to solve the financial situation all by yourself. Myself, I am a bit worried about the outcome of the upcoming election. Trump is now talking about stripping Naturalized Citizens of their Citizenship. I wonder if we should be looking for a place to land, and transferring some of our assets outside the country. They have reports of Trucks of Armed Militia that are out hunting FEMA workers in NC. Trump is spouting nonsense like www.vanityfair.com/news/story/trump-wants-the-military-used-against-americans-who-dont-support-him-on-election-dayI wonder if we should consider transferring some of our assets to another country? Idk where might be safe. DH is from Mexico, so that is the only place he would consider going, but I just worry that going there might not be any safer that staying here.If I were a naturalized citizen, I would be looked at sheltering assets too because I seriously doubt a regime that would revoke citizenship would allow those persons affected to remove $$ from the US. I suspect asset seizure would happen very quickly. I don't know of a safe haven elsewhere because the banking industry in many countries lacks the protections we have here. It sucks we have to think about the possibility but it seems we must. Canada has a much stronger banking system than the US. We haven't had a major bank fail in over 100 years. www.cpacanada.ca/news/pivot-magazine/bank-system-feature
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Oct 15, 2024 13:08:48 GMT -5
Dammit! I got assigned a shit show and I don't want to deal with it. Insured makes constant changes and doesn't pay their bills. I don't have time for that. I really need to work on saying no at work. So apparently this account is worse than I thought. It's really bad. So bad that I feel like I have to call my boss and prepare her for kickback once I put my rules in place. These people have been running amock for years and it stops today. She'll likely get complaints about me. Ugh!
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Oct 15, 2024 13:22:53 GMT -5
I know a few people here have Therapists they talk to, but I don't remember if you are one of them. It does seem you have a lot on your plate, and a therapist might help you manage the load. I often think of Beth and wonder how her kids are doing. I am very glad your family still has you physically in their lives. Whatever happens with the finances, your family will find a way to manage the situation. Your kids are getting older, and there is no reason that you need to solve the financial situation all by yourself. Myself, I am a bit worried about the outcome of the upcoming election. Trump is now talking about stripping Naturalized Citizens of their Citizenship. I wonder if we should be looking for a place to land, and transferring some of our assets outside the country. They have reports of Trucks of Armed Militia that are out hunting FEMA workers in NC. Trump is spouting nonsense like www.vanityfair.com/news/story/trump-wants-the-military-used-against-americans-who-dont-support-him-on-election-dayI wonder if we should consider transferring some of our assets to another country? Idk where might be safe. DH is from Mexico, so that is the only place he would consider going, but I just worry that going there might not be any safer that staying here.If I were a naturalized citizen, I would be looked at sheltering assets too because I seriously doubt a regime that would revoke citizenship would allow those persons affected to remove $$ from the US. I suspect asset seizure would happen very quickly. I don't know of a safe haven elsewhere because the banking industry in many countries lacks the protections we have here. It sucks we have to think about the possibility but it seems we must. there's also rules if an American-born spouse of a naturalized citizen predeceases the naturalized one. legal nuances and loopholes I had no idea were a thing until my mom started looking at everything related to Medicare and retirement. this is actually why I am also on their savings accounts holding proceeds to the sale of the house I grew up in. I'm starting to look into things myself, actually. the thought crossed my mind that maybe this layoff is the universe timing correctly to help me pull the trigger lol...
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Oct 15, 2024 13:25:29 GMT -5
I walked away from my laptop over lunch hour, taking the pups down to the shore for a walk. I put up a couple pics on FB, I love it there. we are home now, and I'm all bundled up and sitting outside in direct sunlight. today is a bit brisk.
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ken a.k.a OMK
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They killed Kenny, the bastards.
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Oct 15, 2024 13:29:44 GMT -5
Weather got chilly and windy here. 59° My wife turned on the gas logs and set up her winter puzzle table.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 15, 2024 13:32:14 GMT -5
You just had to do that to me,eh?
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 15, 2024 13:32:29 GMT -5
Dammit! I got assigned a shit show and I don't want to deal with it. Insured makes constant changes and doesn't pay their bills. I don't have time for that. I really need to work on saying no at work. So apparently this account is worse than I thought. It's really bad. So bad that I feel like I have to call my boss and prepare her for kickback once I put my rules in place. These people have been running amock for years and it stops today. She'll likely get complaints about me. Ugh! Maybe they'll finally stop and take things seriously. I hope.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Oct 15, 2024 13:33:53 GMT -5
Every size of community has plusses and minuses. We lived in Corpus Christi, Texas up until 1981, population 249K which seemed like a pretty big place to me at the time. Then we moved to Victoria, Texas, population 45K. That seemed really small in comparison to Corpus Christi. I could go from my desk to my horse's stall in under 30 minutes. But there was nothing to do there but cowboy, rampant racism, and a very high crime rate because it's on the drug route from Mexico north and small-town law enforcement can be understaffed, ill equipped and corrupt. Then we moved to Houston in 1991, population then about 1.7 MIL. We truly fell in love with the sheer craziness of this place, home to everybody from across the globe with all that means both good and bad. I honestly can't explain it but there is a spirit here, a flavor, that is both maddening and exhilarating. The global feel, the fact that we are minority majority, that our city and county is a very blue island in a red state, is very, very important to us. We deliberately chose to live in a community that many shunned as dangerous at the time. We will have lived in this house 30 years next summer. We've never been burglarized, we come and go from pre-dawn to late night (in my working years I sometimes got home at midnight), we haven't activated the burglar alarm in years. I got the surveillance cameras because of threats from neighbors unhappy with my community association work. And absolutely no place on the planet will hone your driving skills like Houston . That's what I love about living in Montreal, a city of 4.3 million people. Every language spoken under the sun, people in colourful agbadas and turbans wandering around, every ethnic food you can think of (not much Mexican. ...don't ask me why.) tribal music, concerts, the biggest jazz festival in the world, artistic endeavours from around the globe and more. There's no neighbourhood I'm uncomfortable walking in at all hours. I love Montreal and love to visit. However, I could not live there. No parking and the traffic sucks. It's crowded. Same as NYC. It's great to visit, but I would go bonkers living there. Living in the boonies but close enough to Ottawa and Montreal for a day trip works for me.
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weltz
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Post by weltz on Oct 15, 2024 13:54:02 GMT -5
That's what I love about living in Montreal, a city of 4.3 million people. Every language spoken under the sun, people in colourful agbadas and turbans wandering around, every ethnic food you can think of (not much Mexican. ...don't ask me why.) tribal music, concerts, the biggest jazz festival in the world, artistic endeavours from around the globe and more. There's no neighbourhood I'm uncomfortable walking in at all hours. I love Montreal and love to visit. However, I could not live there. No parking and the traffic sucks. It's crowded. Same as NYC. It's great to visit, but I would go bonkers living there. Living in the boonies but close enough to Ottawa and Montreal for a day trip works for me. Two words.....Public Transit. Even when I had a car, I never took it downtown.....no parking and the traffic sucks. I could be downtown in 10 minutes via the subway, or be circling around for hours, looking for parking. Taking the car downtown is for tourists who don't know any better.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Oct 15, 2024 15:02:08 GMT -5
Can we please keep the election out of this part of the board? I don't come here for that. Put it in the politics section. Anywhere but here.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 15, 2024 15:22:45 GMT -5
Can we please keep the election out of this part of the board? I don't come here for that. Put it in the politics section. Anywhere but here. Agreed.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Oct 15, 2024 16:02:52 GMT -5
omg. I finally finished this super long survey I had to do for work and when I was finally done there was a survey on the survey.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 15, 2024 16:10:16 GMT -5
Can we please keep the election out of this part of the board? I don't come here for that. Put it in the politics section. Anywhere but here. You’re about 2,000 pages to late!
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Oct 15, 2024 16:17:22 GMT -5
I reminded my Mom that I’ve been telling her since I moved, that she really can’t afford to live in my house. That was during and after the time when I kept cutting up about her being in my pockets even after I moved. When I reminded her of that today, she said she knows, but every time she has applied for senior housing, she got denied because of her credit. First of all, as far as I know, she has never applied anywhere. She certainly has not told me she did. Second of all, the last time she said she couldn’t move because of her credit, I told her that she’d been in my house since 2018, and she could’ve started fixing her credit during the time I still lived there and was paying all the bills, but she was making new bills instead, that she didn’t pay. So her credit issues were still her fault. I didn’t even get into that today. But third, somebody here said that because she gets SS, her credit doesn’t matter for senior housing. Is that really true? I am certain that one of the reasons she doesn’t want to move is because wants to be able to pick and choose when and if she pays her bills, and doesn’t want anybody having control over her money and be forced to only have what’s leftover from her necessary expenses to spend, with no room to try to finagle. It’s been so long since I did something just for me and actually had a good time, that I’d forgotten that it always comes with some bulllshit right after. That has been how it has been for me, for some years. Any time I dare to just enjoy myself, something crazy comes along the same day or the next. That is seriously a pattern, so much so that before I forgot how to have fun, I did it with reservations, because in the back of my mind I was wondering what SHIT was coming after it. Sometimes while I was in the middle of trying to have fun. True story. Does your Mom receive more than $943/ month? If not, she could apply for SSI. If she was previously married for at least 10 years, she might be able to get more SS benefits on his record. If she is spending what little she has on medication, encourage her again to apply for Medicaid so that will be covered. There are 3 types of low income housing. Section 8 Public housing and subsidized housing (apartments). I recommend looking into senior subsidized housing and see if they will put your Mom on the wait list. I can send you some to check out. My Mom’s income is around $2k/month. She was technically married over 10 years, but she didn’t know he was a crackhead when she married him, so I’m not sure he has any SS benefits. I did ask her if he was a veteran, he wasn’t. He is deceased now, idk when he died. If you can send me some options to look into, I would really, really appreciate it. Thank you so much!
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Oct 15, 2024 16:29:08 GMT -5
After breakfast and a shower we went to 2 dealerships so I could look at a new vehicle. This is my elimination round and then I'll drive the 2 finalists. The VW Tiquan was perfect but a bit more than I want to spend. The Honda CR-V was only $4K less, but very bare bones in both styling and accessories. We're going to look at the KIA SUV's Thursday. I'm going to run some online calculators to see what my payment might look like depending on what I put down. DH actually is want to go back to the VW dealer and test drive a GLI. If he likes it, we might make a salesperson very happy. I REALLY liked the sales guy at VW because he listened to what I said I wanted and talked to me, not to DH. No pressure, just gave me the facts all printed out including specs. Poor guy at Honda smokes and wears heavy cologne to try and hide it I have gotten very picky on vehicles as I have gotten older. There are a couple of non negotiables for me: 1. 4WD/AWD because we live in a 4 season state and being trapped freaks me out. Plus we are both under 50 and have to be able to make it to work. 2. Comfortable driver seat. I drive long distances to the airport for work and longer for our vacations. Jeep is a non starter in this area for me. Messes my hips up bad. 3. Huge amount of foot room in the front seat. DH is 6"4" and most of that is legs. I am 5'7" and standing up his waist is my boobs. I prefer for him to be comfortable (most of the time   when in my vehicle. 4. Large amount of cargo space. We are on a well and use a large amount of bottled water for drinking, humidifiers, etc. Add in DH's insisted on "bugout bag", sweatshirts, blankets, etc when caught in expected weather. I narrow it down to vehicles that fit those requirements and then do extended test drives (like take it home for a weekend). Once I choose one that suits me, then the amenities/packages come into play. We also live in a very rural area so that determines a lot of our "needs".
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Oct 15, 2024 16:40:57 GMT -5
Will need to go back to visit Eastern IL on a non-visit day. There were 200+ people there and teen tapped out early. Dd16 spoke to theater dept head and he said it would take 6 yrs to finish theater Ed degree bc the depts don't work well together so don't come here.
Teen had a major panic attack the night before after a simple mistake. It clearly triggered her and I could tell she thought I might hit her. Unraveled it the best I could in the moment but need to circle back and help her reflect on how messed up it is that she used to get beat for small mistakes and make sure she knows that I'm never going to do that. Was so hard to see that part from her view.
Meanwhile bio nut randomly texts teen today and says see you at psych appt tomorrow. Glad teen has appt but feeling some kind of way about flexing my schedule with one day's notice.
Oral surgeon called to let me know they received medical clearance. Then they said they need "letter of failure to treat" from medicaid dentist. I said medical social worker sent you that 3 weeks ago but sure I'll track it down again. Made some calls, found it and emailed and now have confirmation. Oral surgery appt set for 10 am. Asked them to call nut and set appt and not mention me at all. Feeling kinda vindicated to dictate her schedule as petty as it is. Teen is super pissy bc she was set to do orientation for her new hostess job that afternoon and work some hours this weekend and will now need to recover. She's also embarrassed to have to tell them it's for medical. I said blame me and say I'm insisting. Poor kid.
Maybe after this week we can slide back into new normal. I'm so, so tired of being on edge. Having to see that woman twice in one week is asking a lot.
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weltz
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Post by weltz on Oct 15, 2024 16:42:59 GMT -5
My neighbour just came over with the most amazing meal of spicy Middle Eastern lime chicken and rice. She had no idea that I've been too sick to shop, never mind cook.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Oct 15, 2024 16:48:06 GMT -5
giramomma Your posts contain so much deep wisdom that I value them even when I wish you weren't experiencing the situations that trigger them Pink Cashmere I feel much the same way about you as I just said about Gira. Wish you weren't in those spots but respect and value the wisdom you share here and the strength you model I've gone through my posts over the last month or so and deleted many of them. I'm truly sorry for those I triggered by sharing my concerns honestly and will not do so again. Social media is challenging and I'm just not up to it anymore, don't have the desire to weigh every word and somehow magically intuit everyone's sensitivity on every issue. I would wish blessings on everyone but surely someone will be offended at what they see as a reference to a deity they don't follow and require it to be consigned elsewhere. So, I'll just wish you all a smooth road ahead.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Oct 15, 2024 16:49:45 GMT -5
good fucking lord. T-20 days til I don't have to hear a NH political ad. 🥳 I'd been super annoyed by this one blond woman the past month, but that ad has gone away in favor of a former cop that curses and gets censored. I'll leave the content out, but I live in SE Massachusetts. the state-level politics of New Hampshire aren't anywhere on my list of shit to worry about, and I hate that I have to listen to the ads all fucking day long as part of my background noise for LD.
ETA- today I heard this new ad three times within the same commercial break. fucking enough!
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Oct 15, 2024 16:51:37 GMT -5
My stomach has been acting up today. No surprise after yesterday.
I already had a counseling session scheduled for today, I told her my stomach was acting up and why. She asked if I was going to bail my Mom out and I said no. She asked how I felt about that and I said like a piece of shit. She said I can feel bad about it, and still do what I need to do to enforce my boundaries and protect my peace. The “protect my peace” part is about my Mom hinting that she wants me to bring her to my house. I won’t/can’t do that because she’s already proven to be a horrible houseguest that does what she wants regardless of how I prefer to run my household, and I already have enough problems in my household without adding her to the mix.
I am just now beginning to come out of whatever that was that I’ve been in for a couple of months, I can’t risk going back to that dark place, trying to deal with her. I am seriously trying to retire my cape, because I’m not Superwoman after all, I’m just a woman with enough of my own shit to try to deal with and what I’ve been doing for years, trying to take care of other people and make sure they are okay, when they refuse to take responsibility for themselves and their actions, has affected my mental and physical health. So I’m trying to change that. Even though it’s not easy and it makes me feel like shit, because it’s just my nature to try to look after people I care about and try to “fix” stuff for them.
Anyway, I hear the suggestions to hire an elder care attorney. I am still trying to recover financially from last year, while also trying to get my shit together as much as I can, so that if I continue with Mister it’s because I want to, and not because I can’t move. Imma be really mad if, while I have all of that going on, I have to spend a bunch of money because of my Mom. “Really mad”, meaning that if I have to take that route, once the dust settles, I might never speak to her again. I absolutely do not want it to come to that, but I know myself well enough to know that it’s a possibility, regardless of how much I love her. I’ve always said that there are 2 things I don’t play about, my children and my money. I’ve let family members play with me about my money a little bit, but I’ve also cut off a relative that was like a sibling to me my whole life, because she played with me about my money, some thousands of dollars that I’d loaned her, and I still don’t really deal with her today, even though that was well over a decade ago.
I am still just not in a very good mood today. I’m ready to just go to bed and it’s not even 5pm.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Oct 15, 2024 17:06:02 GMT -5
On another random note that doesn’t really mean anything, last night after Mister finished grilling, I fixed my plate and put it in the microwave, and went and took a shower. That’s something I regularly do, fix my plate and put it in the microwave to eat after I shower.
YD came home as I was leaving the kitchen. When I went back in the kitchen my plate was gone. Mister was in bed when I got out of the shower, and had already eaten and was in the back of the house when I fixed my plate, so I knew he didn’t eat it. So I knocked on YD’s bedroom door, which was locked even though Mister has always been adamant that they don’t lock doors in his house. I had to keep knocking because there was no response. She finally opened the door and I asked if she’d got my plate out of the microwave. She said Mister told her that there was a plate for her in the microwave. I don’t really believe that. We have 2 microwaves, and if Mister really told her that, there would’ve been a plate in the other microwave, and there wasn’t. And while Mister does cook sometimes to make sure she has something to eat, I’ve NEVER known him to go so far as to fix her a plate and put it in the microwave for whenever she gets to it.
I just went and fixed me another plate and haven’t mentioned it to Mister, because Idek if it’s worth mentioning, even though it did irritate me.
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notagain
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Joined: Jun 10, 2020 6:15:06 GMT -5
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Post by notagain on Oct 15, 2024 17:08:42 GMT -5
Soup don't leave us. We need your wisdom
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toomuchreality
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Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 15, 2024 17:12:47 GMT -5
♡ HUGS ♡
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