raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 15,050
|
Post by raeoflyte on Oct 14, 2024 19:24:52 GMT -5
I got a mani/pedi today which felt good. I was hoping to get my eyebrows threaded but I think my place closed.
Trying to decide between gym and house cleaning tonight.
|
|
Pink Cashmere
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 24, 2022 16:18:40 GMT -5
Posts: 5,377
|
Post by Pink Cashmere on Oct 14, 2024 19:35:00 GMT -5
Mom, went into senior housing. They had to have some income, I'm sure they didn't pull credit as she had none, ever. They paid something like 20% of her income, SS for rent. It included heat, water, sewer, electric, cable. All she had to pay was for a phone and to use the washer dryer. The rest was hers. Her SIL was there and almost didn't qualify as her husband was retired from GM and got a good pension, it was on the edge of being too much. I had to take mom to sign up, you may have to do the same, good luck. She should have been on many lists the last 6 years. Between my Mom’s SS and a small (very small) pension, her income is not a lot, but more than what I read and hear about some seniors struggling trying to live on. It is kind of difficult even for me to feel sorry for her, because after my Grandmother died, my Aunt took my Mom to an attorney and did a quick deed to make my Mom the sole owner of my Grandmother’s house. My Grandmother was so angry with my Mom during her last years of life, that if not for my Aunt, my Grandmother wouldn’t have even changed her will to include my Mom inheriting her house, my Grandmother really just wanted to leave everything for my Aunt. Without going into a bunch of stories to explain, I’ll just say that I understand why my Grandmother wanted to to leave her house just to my Aunt and not include my Mom, all of our immediate family understands. But even though my Aunt tried to be fair and convinced my Grandmother to not leave my Mom out, my Aunt still gave my Mom the house right after my Grandmother died. And my Mom still didn’t do right. So she doesn’t HAVE to be in the position she’s in, she had a whole house to live in, that my Grandmother paid the mortgage off on when I was in my early 20’s. I know that for a fact. I am getting upset again, so Imma hush.
|
|
toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,999
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
|
Post by toomuchreality on Oct 14, 2024 19:43:05 GMT -5
@pink Your mom's choices. Your mom's consequences. IMO.
Easier said, than done. I know.
Hugs. ♡
|
|
Pink Cashmere
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 24, 2022 16:18:40 GMT -5
Posts: 5,377
|
Post by Pink Cashmere on Oct 14, 2024 19:59:18 GMT -5
I am trying to just relax and chill out, but the shit with my Mom is really bothering me. The last time the utilities were about to be cutoff, it was during winter and the temps were forecast toget below freezing at night, so I felt like I had to do something to at least try to protect my house, if not try to make my Mom comfortable.
So I acted a whole fool, and drove over there, yelling and cussing while talking to my Mom. I had never cussed in front of my Mom, even though I do cuss more than is ladylike, so that was when she first started getting the message for real that I was serious about how I don’t play about my money. I’m not proud of how I was yelling and cussing, but one unfortunate thing my job taught me in my early years, is that sometimes you have to talk to people in a way that they understand. And unfortunately, it took me being out of my normal character, yelling and cussing, for my Mom to,finally start taking me serious. I’m still not proud or even happy that I went their with my Mom.
But this time, it’s not winter, so I don’t have to worry about pipes freezing. The weather has also cooled off, so that it’s not blazing hot like it has been.
And I’m just tired, sooooo tired, of rescuing people from situations they don’t even have to be in. I am tired of being Ms. FixIt, playing nice, and sucking shit up, trying to make sure other people are okay and comfortable, even when I’m not okay and comfortable.
I apologize to y’all for me rambling on and on about the same shit.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,187
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 14, 2024 20:09:44 GMT -5
There are different types of senior and low income housing. You really need an elder care attorney or an advocate to find out which one your mom would qualify for.
Some of the really nice senior apartments here do want good credit on top of you having $x to private pay for a certain amount of time.
Others are sliding scale depending on income.
Some are for really really low income and people on assistance.
Your mom likely qualifies for something but she won't be able to be picky she's going to get what she gets.
All things considered my grandma having $100k did get her a ticket into a nice nursing home.
GU was poverty level and straight to Medicaid. My dad called the place a shit box. It was the only place who would take a patient unable to private pay their way in
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,958
|
Post by taz157 on Oct 14, 2024 20:25:38 GMT -5
Scenario: You’re called for jury dury for the month. It states to check after 6:00pm on the Friday before you’re due to start. For the first 2 check-ins, they state you aren’t needed for the following weeks. When you check this past Friday after 6:00pm, it hasn’t been updated for the coming week. I checked again this morning and still not update. Do you go to jury duty in the morning? What would you do? FWIW, I’m still going to check to see if it’s been updated. Also, can’t call because it’s a holiday so court is going on. I finally got the official notice that I don’t need to report tomorrow!
|
|
cooper88
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jan 21, 2022 19:24:20 GMT -5
Posts: 1,416
|
Post by cooper88 on Oct 14, 2024 20:38:34 GMT -5
chiver78 I'm so sorry for your loss. He was so young. Hugs.
|
|
raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 15,050
|
Post by raeoflyte on Oct 14, 2024 20:49:41 GMT -5
Those are all good prices on house cleaning. I was paying $185 monthly 5 years ago for 3 people cleaning for a little under 2 hours. I think....maybe it was $145 after the 1st cleaning. I can't quite believe it's been so long. That was right before the pandemic and I had decided I was going to cut down on house cleaning to Sept-Dec but never added it back.
|
|
Pink Cashmere
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 24, 2022 16:18:40 GMT -5
Posts: 5,377
|
Post by Pink Cashmere on Oct 14, 2024 21:26:00 GMT -5
There are different types of senior and low income housing. You really need an elder care attorney or an advocate to find out which one your mom would qualify for. Some of the really nice senior apartments here do want good credit on top of you having $x to private pay for a certain amount of time. Others are sliding scale depending on income. Some are for really really low income and people on assistance. Your mom likely qualifies for something but she won't be able to be picky she's going to get what she gets. All things considered my grandma having $100k did get her a ticket into a nice nursing home. GU was poverty level and straight to Medicaid. My dad called the place a shit box. It was the only place who would take a patient unable to private pay their way in Well my Mom has just a little more income than some people that are trying to make do with a little money from Social Security, but it enough income to be picky. Before I moved, I insisted she apply for Medicaid just to see what options she’d have if she was approved. She hemmed and hawed, and played the game with me to shut me up, but never actually applied. So that is the kind of shit I’m dealing with. Before I moved, when I got fed up with her blowing all of her money every month and expecting me to pay for her needs like food and her meds because she would overdraft her bank account to the point that when she got her SS payment, she owed all of it to the bank and of course they took it all and she was left with NO money for that month, I told her one morning that she needed to write down the exact numbers of her income and her expenses, and give it to me. That night she hadn’t done it, and I asked her why she hadn’t. She said she didn’t feel like she had to give me that information. I told her “you are living in my house, expecting me to spend my money taking care of your needs while you fuck off all your money on bullshit, so you can either give me the information I asked for, or call a cab right now to take you somewhere else to live”. I didn’t raise my voice, I said it calmly, and something about the way I said it, must have told her I meant business, because less than an hour later she was knocking on my bedroom door to give me a sheet of paper with the information I’d asked for. She was very clearly disgruntled, but so was I, so I just took the sheet of paper and closed my bedroom door again. That is when she finally stopped overdrafting her bank account, but she still kept trying to play with me about money. Until I acted a fool when the utilities were about to be cut off that winter after I moved and I kept going over there yelling and cussing about that. And even then, when I was yelling and cussing, I said “you’re a grown ass woman, do you really think I’m supposed to take care of you, with MY money while you do whatever you want to do with your money” and she said “no, but I think you’d have a little compassion”. My head probably spun around on my neck like the Exorcist, and I felt like my head was just gonna pop off my neck, that pissed me off so much. I said “COMPASSION?!!!!!” WHY did I even let you move into my house if not for compassion?! That made me so mad that I just stomped out of the house and left, because I was already yelling and cussing and I didn’t want to be even more disrespectful, because until she started driving me crazy after she came to live with me, I’d never raised my voice or even cussed around my Mom, and in that moment, I was so angry that if it had been anybody else that had played with me like that and made me that angry, I might have swung on them. So I left. I’m not proud of that, I’m just telling the story. Anyway, after my Grandmother died and my Aunt did a quick deed to give my Mom my Grandmother’s house, Habitat For Humanity did $17k worth of work on the house under a program they have to try to help senior citizens live in their homes for as long as possible. The work they did made a lien be on the house if it was sold within a certain number of years, which I think is fair. A couple years after she moved into my house, my Mom sold my Grandmother’s house to a neighbor for just SIX thousand dollars, and didn’t even tell my Aunt. I told my Aunt, and she asked if I was okay with her telling my Mom she knew she’d sold it. I said I don’t care if you (my Aunt) say something to her (my Mom) because I felt like she should’ve at least talked to my Aunt before she did that. And right is right, and wrong is wrong, no matter who does it. So my family is still upset with my Mom today for that, because we all know that it was important to my Grandmother to try to leave real estate for her descendants, and my brother had already fucked up my Grandmother’s other house so much that she sold it for pennies, just to get rid of it. Anyway, I am rambling, and I will hush now, for real.
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 8,057
|
Post by finnime on Oct 15, 2024 3:12:43 GMT -5
Good morning, city-, country- and suburban-dwelling invisipeeps, caretaking and taking care in your lives of all you love and more. Welcome to Tuesday. I hope your day breaks barriers holding you back. I hope you feel the wind in your hair as you sail forth, winning. I hope you have a crazily great day in all respects. Today I'll spend in a ritzy part of Boston while DD works as a flu shot nurse at a company clinic. I may visit the historic Trinity church and will definitely go to a rare book store in the area. There is sight-seeing and maybe some shopping to be done. It will be a good day. First, though, I need to walk Franklin the Dog around the park and by the marinas down the street so he can get his ya-ya's out. He'll be confused today and most likely nap until we're back at day end. Yesterday rained pretty much all day except for the very beginning, when it was heavily overcast, and the end when the sun finally broke through. I took this photo from the top of the Fort Phoenix at day end. The boat belongs to the Norheast Maritime Institute here in town.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,196
|
Post by giramomma on Oct 15, 2024 8:36:26 GMT -5
Pink have you considered that now could be a good time to call aps. It is worth a shot and you don't have to worry about the extra damage winter will cause.
It also could be a good time to call a lawyer. I think eviction could be a real thing in this situation.
Door closing and windows opening and all that.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,196
|
Post by giramomma on Oct 15, 2024 8:44:45 GMT -5
Also I get that some of us get the short end of the shit stick more than others. I have enough that I could run for president of that club. I mean lets be blunt. I've had and continue to have a shitty life that I did not ask for.
And yet here we are. I'm still waking up every day. So one foot forward in front of the other. It has to be enough. I've been thinking about Beth again. I've been afforded more privileges than she was. Shitty as things are im still alive.
|
|
Peace77
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 1:42:40 GMT -5
Posts: 4,009
|
Post by Peace77 on Oct 15, 2024 8:52:29 GMT -5
I reminded my Mom that I’ve been telling her since I moved, that she really can’t afford to live in my house. That was during and after the time when I kept cutting up about her being in my pockets even after I moved. When I reminded her of that today, she said she knows, but every time she has applied for senior housing, she got denied because of her credit. First of all, as far as I know, she has never applied anywhere. She certainly has not told me she did. Second of all, the last time she said she couldn’t move because of her credit, I told her that she’d been in my house since 2018, and she could’ve started fixing her credit during the time I still lived there and was paying all the bills, but she was making new bills instead, that she didn’t pay. So her credit issues were still her fault. I didn’t even get into that today. But third, somebody here said that because she gets SS, her credit doesn’t matter for senior housing. Is that really true? I am certain that one of the reasons she doesn’t want to move is because wants to be able to pick and choose when and if she pays her bills, and doesn’t want anybody having control over her money and be forced to only have what’s leftover from her necessary expenses to spend, with no room to try to finagle. It’s been so long since I did something just for me and actually had a good time, that I’d forgotten that it always comes with some bulllshit right after. That has been how it has been for me, for some years. Any time I dare to just enjoy myself, something crazy comes along the same day or the next. That is seriously a pattern, so much so that before I forgot how to have fun, I did it with reservations, because in the back of my mind I was wondering what SHIT was coming after it. Sometimes while I was in the middle of trying to have fun. True story. Does your Mom receive more than $943/ month? If not, she could apply for SSI. If she was previously married for at least 10 years, she might be able to get more SS benefits on his record. If she is spending what little she has on medication, encourage her again to apply for Medicaid so that will be covered. There are 3 types of low income housing. Section 8 Public housing and subsidized housing (apartments). I recommend looking into senior subsidized housing and see if they will put your Mom on the wait list. I can send you some to check out.
|
|
resolution
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:09:56 GMT -5
Posts: 7,264
Mini-Profile Name Color: 305b2b
|
Post by resolution on Oct 15, 2024 9:04:40 GMT -5
Ugh! I'm remembering today why I rarely go to Hobby Lobby. First, they ran an ad in the Sunday paper advertising 50% off on a bunch of Christmas items, including paper plates, napkins, etc., so I went this morning to pick something out early. That shipment hadn't even arrived at the store. Then, I find one item not originally on my list that I'll get since I made the trip, and they have only one, slow cashier working. Some manager came up & began to ring up a few people, but then she left, so I'm guessing I waited about 20 minutes to purchase one item. I'm not going back anytime soon. I still haven't forgiven Hobby Lobby for trying to get the Affordable Care Act overturned. I haven't set foot in their store since then.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,196
|
Post by giramomma on Oct 15, 2024 9:09:12 GMT -5
I marvel that mg life is being blown up over a 1 cm thing that I can't even feel. That is some crazy stuff.
And I feel ok. Between moving more at my new job and the missy evicted from our bed my body is ok.
Of course that's the whole point of it. To stay feeling ok and not sick.
It would have been better if dh was an alcoholic or drug addict. Even gambling or shopping addict if it is cancer, I'm going with the double mastectomy no reconstruction. If I'm going to have boobs I want mine. if I'm not, I don't want to worry about implants. I don't want implants for dh. And I don't believe that he's moved beyond two decades of objectifying women. He says he loves me which is true and that's never made him pause for a moment before.
I think that if the song ironic got a reboot, a recovering sex addicts wife losing her boobs would be a good one to add in.
And that is what upsets me the most.
Today is bill paying day we haven't really felt the pain of my salary cut. Today that could change.
|
|
chen35
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 6, 2011 19:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,318
Member is Online
|
Post by chen35 on Oct 15, 2024 9:11:25 GMT -5
I marvel that mg life is being blown up over a 1 cm thing that I can't even feel. That is some crazy stuff. And I feel ok. Between moving more at my new job and the missy evicted from our bed my body is ok. Of course that's the whole point of it. To stay feeling ok and not sick. It would have been better if dh was an alcoholic or drug addict. Even gambling or shopping addict if it is cancer, I'm going with the double mastectomy no reconstruction. If I'm going to have boobs I want mine. if I'm not, I don't want to worry about implants. I don't want implants for dh. And I don't believe that he's moved beyond two decades of objectifying women. He says he loves me which is true and that's never made him pause for a moment before. I think that if the song ironic got a reboot, a recovering sex addicts wife losing her boobs would be a good one to add in. And that is what upsets me the most. Today is bill paying day we haven't really felt the pain of my salary cut. Today that could change. This is so much to deal with on top of worrying about your health. I’m so sorry 😢
|
|
bean29
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 22:26:57 GMT -5
Posts: 10,236
|
Post by bean29 on Oct 15, 2024 9:15:16 GMT -5
I remember San Antonio and the Riverwalk at a conference I attended many years ago. It was great fun. Ooh! Maybe one day we could have a boardie Riverwalk weekend. That would be so much fun! Can I invite myself along? It does sound like fun.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,187
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 15, 2024 9:20:55 GMT -5
I applied for a humane society job and now I am rethinking it. While it would be rewarding part of the issue is euthanasia. I certainly am capable of doing it I did it for 12 years with research animals and if it has to be done I do prefer it be done by someone who knows what they are doing and is compassionate about it. It's also naturally not a part of the job anyone enjoys I'd be extremely concerned if someone did enjoy it. My issue is I after I had a moment I remembered that part of why I left academics is because I was losing my ability to compartmentalize. I was procrastinating cleaning house and I had to get myself mentally in the right head space. But it was starting to get really bad I was having panic attacks. That was with rodents that I don't have a particular attachment too. Dogs? DH rightly pointed out that there is a reason I refused to do research with dogs. Ugh bummer. But it is important to recognize your weaknesses. If I get a call I will still talk to them about the job and feel it out but I didn't think this one through too far.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,196
|
Post by giramomma on Oct 15, 2024 9:22:54 GMT -5
And while I'm here. My music prof in college passed away 17 years ago. Recently, someone put up a video of their masterclass and he was in it.
He talked about performance anxiety in a way I had never considered. He rephrased it as putting to much pressure on yourself, which I also take to being too hard on yourself. It blows my mind that it could be part of my trust issues in general. So I'm trying to sit with that for a moment.
Of course now I wish we could talk about that more.
I forgot how much he wove just being human lessons into music. He also talked about learning what we shouldn't do is an important part of life.
|
|
resolution
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:09:56 GMT -5
Posts: 7,264
Mini-Profile Name Color: 305b2b
|
Post by resolution on Oct 15, 2024 9:27:00 GMT -5
Well my Mom has just a little more income than some people that are trying to make do with a little money from Social Security, but it enough income to be picky. Before I moved, I insisted she apply for Medicaid just to see what options she’d have if she was approved. She hemmed and hawed, and played the game with me to shut me up, but never actually applied. So that is the kind of shit I’m dealing with. Before I moved, when I got fed up with her blowing all of her money every month and expecting me to pay for her needs like food and her meds because she would overdraft her bank account to the point that when she got her SS payment, she owed all of it to the bank and of course they took it all and she was left with NO money for that month, I told her one morning that she needed to write down the exact numbers of her income and her expenses, and give it to me. That night she hadn’t done it, and I asked her why she hadn’t. She said she didn’t feel like she had to give me that information. I told her “you are living in my house, expecting me to spend my money taking care of your needs while you fuck off all your money on bullshit, so you can either give me the information I asked for, or call a cab right now to take you somewhere else to live”. I didn’t raise my voice, I said it calmly, and something about the way I said it, must have told her I meant business, because less than an hour later she was knocking on my bedroom door to give me a sheet of paper with the information I’d asked for. She was very clearly disgruntled, but so was I, so I just took the sheet of paper and closed my bedroom door again. That is when she finally stopped overdrafting her bank account, but she still kept trying to play with me about money. Until I acted a fool when the utilities were about to be cut off that winter after I moved and I kept going over there yelling and cussing about that. And even then, when I was yelling and cussing, I said “you’re a grown ass woman, do you really think I’m supposed to take care of you, with MY money while you do whatever you want to do with your money” and she said “no, but I think you’d have a little compassion”. My head probably spun around on my neck like the Exorcist, and I felt like my head was just gonna pop off my neck, that pissed me off so much. I said “COMPASSION?!!!!!” WHY did I even let you move into my house if not for compassion?! That made me so mad that I just stomped out of the house and left, because I was already yelling and cussing and I didn’t want to be even more disrespectful, because until she started driving me crazy after she came to live with me, I’d never raised my voice or even cussed around my Mom, and in that moment, I was so angry that if it had been anybody else that had played with me like that and made me that angry, I might have swung on them. So I left. I’m not proud of that, I’m just telling the story. Anyway, after my Grandmother died and my Aunt did a quick deed to give my Mom my Grandmother’s house, Habitat For Humanity did $17k worth of work on the house under a program they have to try to help senior citizens live in their homes for as long as possible. The work they did made a lien be on the house if it was sold within a certain number of years, which I think is fair. A couple years after she moved into my house, my Mom sold my Grandmother’s house to a neighbor for just SIX thousand dollars, and didn’t even tell my Aunt. I told my Aunt, and she asked if I was okay with her telling my Mom she knew she’d sold it. I said I don’t care if you (my Aunt) say something to her (my Mom) because I felt like she should’ve at least talked to my Aunt before she did that. And right is right, and wrong is wrong, no matter who does it. So my family is still upset with my Mom today for that, because we all know that it was important to my Grandmother to try to leave real estate for her descendants, and my brother had already fucked up my Grandmother’s other house so much that she sold it for pennies, just to get rid of it. Anyway, I am rambling, and I will hush now, for real. Just the fact that she is still living in your home shows that you have the patience of a saint. I wish I had a solution for you, but unfortunately all I can give is my best wishes in dealing with the situation. Maybe if she sits there with no utilities for a while she might be willing to apply for a subsidized senior apartment.
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,252
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 15, 2024 9:27:35 GMT -5
I marvel that mg life is being blown up over a 1 cm thing that I can't even feel. That is some crazy stuff. And I feel ok. Between moving more at my new job and the missy evicted from our bed my body is ok. Of course that's the whole point of it. To stay feeling ok and not sick. It would have been better if dh was an alcoholic or drug addict. Even gambling or shopping addict if it is cancer, I'm going with the double mastectomy no reconstruction. If I'm going to have boobs I want mine. if I'm not, I don't want to worry about implants. I don't want implants for dh. And I don't believe that he's moved beyond two decades of objectifying women. He says he loves me which is true and that's never made him pause for a moment before. I think that if the song ironic got a reboot, a recovering sex addicts wife losing her boobs would be a good one to add in. And that is what upsets me the most. Today is bill paying day we haven't really felt the pain of my salary cut. Today that could change. That's all I got.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,196
|
Post by giramomma on Oct 15, 2024 9:28:57 GMT -5
I marvel that mg life is being blown up over a 1 cm thing that I can't even feel. That is some crazy stuff. And I feel ok. Between moving more at my new job and the missy evicted from our bed my body is ok. Of course that's the whole point of it. To stay feeling ok and not sick. It would have been better if dh was an alcoholic or drug addict. Even gambling or shopping addict if it is cancer, I'm going with the double mastectomy no reconstruction. If I'm going to have boobs I want mine. if I'm not, I don't want to worry about implants. I don't want implants for dh. And I don't believe that he's moved beyond two decades of objectifying women. He says he loves me which is true and that's never made him pause for a moment before. I think that if the song ironic got a reboot, a recovering sex addicts wife losing her boobs would be a good one to add in. And that is what upsets me the most. Today is bill paying day we haven't really felt the pain of my salary cut. Today that could change. This is so much to deal with on top of worrying about your health. I’m so sorry 😢 Thanks. Mostly I just need to get it out to move on. Actually I know he loves me deeply. And wile hes still only sober today it has been 7.5 years of sobriety and recovery this time around. And I know my perception is not his truth. And to be clear he has NOT asked that I get implants. It would only be for me if I got them. Which is what I meant to say.
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,405
|
Post by andi9899 on Oct 15, 2024 9:43:26 GMT -5
You were the first person I heard say that, ever.....that you would be followed to your car after shopping. Is it safe to walk around Montreal at night? While walking alone late at night is generally safe, it's advisable to stick to well-lit streets. If encountering an inebriated person, maintain confidence and continue walking. While they might engage in conversation or sing in French, there's usually no imminent danger.Jan 29, 2024 chasingpoutine.ca/is-montreal-safe/#:~:text=While%20walking%20alone%20late%20at,there's%20usually%20no%20imminent%20danger. I am speaking of persons who leave a store with $30-$250K in merchandise. They are also usually driving a $200K car and perhaps wearing another $100K in jewelry. Sometimes it is a setup with store personnel alerting their pals, sometimes it's simple observation. Either way that's a big payday for the thieves. Our Galleria is the most notorious location because they have all the designer stores. When a single purse can run $10K or more... You get mugged for way less than that around here.
|
|
bean29
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 22:26:57 GMT -5
Posts: 10,236
|
Post by bean29 on Oct 15, 2024 9:51:13 GMT -5
I marvel that mg life is being blown up over a 1 cm thing that I can't even feel. That is some crazy stuff. And I feel ok. Between moving more at my new job and the missy evicted from our bed my body is ok. Of course that's the whole point of it. To stay feeling ok and not sick. It would have been better if dh was an alcoholic or drug addict. Even gambling or shopping addict if it is cancer, I'm going with the double mastectomy no reconstruction. If I'm going to have boobs I want mine. if I'm not, I don't want to worry about implants. I don't want implants for dh. And I don't believe that he's moved beyond two decades of objectifying women. He says he loves me which is true and that's never made him pause for a moment before. I think that if the song ironic got a reboot, a recovering sex addicts wife losing her boobs would be a good one to add in. And that is what upsets me the most. Today is bill paying day we haven't really felt the pain of my salary cut. Today that could change. I know a few people here have Therapists they talk to, but I don't remember if you are one of them. It does seem you have a lot on your plate, and a therapist might help you manage the load. I often think of Beth and wonder how her kids are doing. I am very glad your family still has you physically in their lives. Whatever happens with the finances, your family will find a way to manage the situation. Your kids are getting older, and there is no reason that you need to solve the financial situation all by yourself. M
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,405
|
Post by andi9899 on Oct 15, 2024 10:21:51 GMT -5
I am trying to just relax and chill out, but the shit with my Mom is really bothering me. The last time the utilities were about to be cutoff, it was during winter and the temps were forecast toget below freezing at night, so I felt like I had to do something to at least try to protect my house, if not try to make my Mom comfortable. So I acted a whole fool, and drove over there, yelling and cussing while talking to my Mom. I had never cussed in front of my Mom, even though I do cuss more than is ladylike, so that was when she first started getting the message for real that I was serious about how I don’t play about my money. I’m not proud of how I was yelling and cussing, but one unfortunate thing my job taught me in my early years, is that sometimes you have to talk to people in a way that they understand. And unfortunately, it took me being out of my normal character, yelling and cussing, for my Mom to,finally start taking me serious. I’m still not proud or even happy that I went their with my Mom. But this time, it’s not winter, so I don’t have to worry about pipes freezing. The weather has also cooled off, so that it’s not blazing hot like it has been. And I’m just tired, sooooo tired, of rescuing people from situations they don’t even have to be in. I am tired of being Ms. FixIt, playing nice, and sucking shit up, trying to make sure other people are okay and comfortable, even when I’m not okay and comfortable. I apologize to y’all for me rambling on and on about the same shit. What about section 8? She's living on her own just fine, she's just poor. She can worry about senior living later.
|
|
Cheesy FL-Vol
Junior Associate
"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." -- Helen Keller
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:13:50 GMT -5
Posts: 7,359
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":""}
|
Post by Cheesy FL-Vol on Oct 15, 2024 10:25:36 GMT -5
Ugh! I'm remembering today why I rarely go to Hobby Lobby. First, they ran an ad in the Sunday paper advertising 50% off on a bunch of Christmas items, including paper plates, napkins, etc., so I went this morning to pick something out early. That shipment hadn't even arrived at the store. Then, I find one item not originally on my list that I'll get since I made the trip, and they have only one, slow cashier working. Some manager came up & began to ring up a few people, but then she left, so I'm guessing I waited about 20 minutes to purchase one item. I'm not going back anytime soon. I still haven't forgiven Hobby Lobby for trying to get the Affordable Care Act overturned. I haven't set foot in their store since then.
|
|
daisylu
Junior Associate
Enter your message here...
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 6:04:42 GMT -5
Posts: 7,496
|
Post by daisylu on Oct 15, 2024 10:31:19 GMT -5
giramomma . You know that I have my own body issues in regards to my DH since I discovered some things. I can see your thoughts. Everyone always says it is in your head, and to some degree it is. I hope it is nothing and just a precaution.
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,405
|
Post by andi9899 on Oct 15, 2024 10:33:45 GMT -5
Dammit! I got assigned a shit show and I don't want to deal with it. Insured makes constant changes and doesn't pay their bills. I don't have time for that. I really need to work on saying no at work.
|
|
jerseygirl
Junior Associate
Joined: May 13, 2018 7:43:08 GMT -5
Posts: 5,305
|
Post by jerseygirl on Oct 15, 2024 11:25:26 GMT -5
I still haven't forgiven Hobby Lobby for trying to get the Affordable Care Act overturned. I haven't set foot in their store since then. Not quite They didn’t want to pay for contraception part of the ACA ( felt some were abortants) along with Catholic Little Sisters of the Poor Supreme Court agreed Little Sisters provide free nursing home care for very poor in NJ ( maybe other states too?)
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,187
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 15, 2024 12:05:59 GMT -5
I am trying to just relax and chill out, but the shit with my Mom is really bothering me. The last time the utilities were about to be cutoff, it was during winter and the temps were forecast toget below freezing at night, so I felt like I had to do something to at least try to protect my house, if not try to make my Mom comfortable. So I acted a whole fool, and drove over there, yelling and cussing while talking to my Mom. I had never cussed in front of my Mom, even though I do cuss more than is ladylike, so that was when she first started getting the message for real that I was serious about how I don’t play about my money. I’m not proud of how I was yelling and cussing, but one unfortunate thing my job taught me in my early years, is that sometimes you have to talk to people in a way that they understand. And unfortunately, it took me being out of my normal character, yelling and cussing, for my Mom to,finally start taking me serious. I’m still not proud or even happy that I went their with my Mom. But this time, it’s not winter, so I don’t have to worry about pipes freezing. The weather has also cooled off, so that it’s not blazing hot like it has been. And I’m just tired, sooooo tired, of rescuing people from situations they don’t even have to be in. I am tired of being Ms. FixIt, playing nice, and sucking shit up, trying to make sure other people are okay and comfortable, even when I’m not okay and comfortable. I apologize to y’all for me rambling on and on about the same shit. What about section 8? She's living on her own just fine, she's just poor. She can worry about senior living later. There is section 8 and then there apartments that are specifically for low income seniors. The requirements are different and depending on how old Pink's mom is she might have better luck with the latter. DH's aunt lives in a rent controlled senior apartment. It's not elder care/senior living like what my grandmother lives in it's an independent apartment complex but they are geared towards older residents who can't afford a house/regular apartment but can still live independently and won't need nursing home care anytime soon. I am not sure if you have to be on Section 8 to qualify. I know you have to be over 65. Then there are the senior living apartments attached to nursing homes as part of the complex and you are grandfathered into getting a room in assisted living if you end up needing it. That is also something to consider depending on Pink's mom's health. We originally wanted that for my grandma because it makes the process SO MUCH EASIER. Having an assured spot when/if the time comes is a HUGE boon. This is where an elder care attorney can come in.
|
|