azucena
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Post by azucena on Sept 16, 2024 13:46:49 GMT -5
Fucking just lost oral surgery appt bc bio nut didn't turn in any of the paperwork. She responded to my email saying the paperwork doesn't matter bc she will be at appts. No fuckwad, these are medical release forms from prior dentist and children's hospital. Without the prior dental referral, they want $2800 out of pocket.
They're scheduling at least a month out. And guess who gets to tell bonus teen.
Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting her sobbing for the rest of my work day.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 16, 2024 13:47:00 GMT -5
Why is there such a rush to clean out the house? Because she is 83 years old and would like to get the hell out of there and have as many years of normal life that she can, but she needs money to do so.
And I'm not so sure it's a "rush", but people have to keep working on it every weekend or it will never get done and they're a couple hours drive away from everyone. Even with a full crew there most weekends, it's probably going to take months before they can even get it to the point where they could have an estate sale company come in.
eta: Also, keep in mind, this is not just an old person's house with a lot of stuff. It's a 3 story house, an attached garage and shop, 3 pole sheds, 8 cube vans, a school bus, and a trailer house all literally PACKED (there's an actual airplane buried in one of the shops). Plus about 30 some cars in various stages of decay inside and outside. Ex spent most of Saturday with a couple guys just trying to get 3 cars dug out of the shed after sinking into the sand the past 40 years or more.
Oh, wow. That sounds like a job for a bunch of professionals. Or a few sticks of strategically placed dynamite.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Sept 16, 2024 13:49:50 GMT -5
Fucking just lost oral surgery appt bc bio nut didn't turn in any of the paperwork. She responded to my email saying the paperwork doesn't matter bc she will be at appts. No fuckwad, these are medical release forms from prior dentist and children's hospital. Without the prior dental referral, they want $2800 out of pocket. They're scheduling at least a month out. And guess who gets to tell bonus teen. Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting her sobbing for the rest of my work day. Omg, that is awful.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 16, 2024 13:52:54 GMT -5
I made a big batch of turkey meatball vegetable soup for the week. I race Saturday, so I wanted to take one task off my plate, so to speak. Getting other tasks done early; I will mow the front lawn Wednesday, do laundry and floors tomorrow. I did my last trial trail run yesterday.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Sept 16, 2024 13:56:53 GMT -5
Fucking just lost oral surgery appt bc bio nut didn't turn in any of the paperwork. She responded to my email saying the paperwork doesn't matter bc she will be at appts. No fuckwad, these are medical release forms from prior dentist and children's hospital. Without the prior dental referral, they want $2800 out of pocket. They're scheduling at least a month out. And guess who gets to tell bonus teen. Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting her sobbing for the rest of my work day. Oh no. I guess the person in the office who had experience with fosters did not get anywhere either with bio mom? I hope BT takes it well and it does not induce more seizures. Sad all the way around and I have shed a tear or 2 seeing this, so you are not alone.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Sept 16, 2024 14:03:54 GMT -5
They have someone that wants to buy both properties (apparently he bought the trailer house/barn across the road too, but right now there is a lien against the farm because he hasn't paid his taxes in the past 10 years and owes them over 100K. The kids are going to re-file something like 15 years worth of taxes because apparently he royally screwed them up as well. They figure it will cost them about 25K to do so, but he shouldn't owe 100. He had about 2.5 million in company stock at one point, but that's all being worked out as well. He has taken at least 600K in loans against it and they're not sure if he was selling it too. What a nightmare. It sounds like he did well for a long time and things went sideways. I understand the wife wanting to get out, but she likely contributed as well - or at least was complacent. Reminds me of Pink Cashmere not quite in-laws. Where the wife sort of covered up a lot of the husband's mental health issues/deterioration to maintain a facade that they were ok when they were not. Absolutely everyone knew this nightmare was coming for a long time, but he would not listen to anyone including her and was fiercely protective of his "stuff". As horrible as hoarding is, he wasn't doing anything that was a danger to himself and he was mentally sharp so it wasn't like they could have forced him to agree to getting rid of things. She probably should have asked about the taxes, but they were married 64 years and he had always handled all the finances. She was genuinely shocked to find out he hadn't been doing them because he was always so adamant they got done immediately every year.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Sept 16, 2024 14:17:09 GMT -5
Fucking just lost oral surgery appt bc bio nut didn't turn in any of the paperwork. She responded to my email saying the paperwork doesn't matter bc she will be at appts. No fuckwad, these are medical release forms from prior dentist and children's hospital. Without the prior dental referral, they want $2800 out of pocket. They're scheduling at least a month out. And guess who gets to tell bonus teen. Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting her sobbing for the rest of my work day. Sending hugs your way. ♡
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Sept 16, 2024 14:18:26 GMT -5
Fucking just lost oral surgery appt bc bio nut didn't turn in any of the paperwork. She responded to my email saying the paperwork doesn't matter bc she will be at appts. No fuckwad, these are medical release forms from prior dentist and children's hospital. Without the prior dental referral, they want $2800 out of pocket. They're scheduling at least a month out. And guess who gets to tell bonus teen. Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting her sobbing for the rest of my work day. She doesn't care about her daughter. How many times does she have to show it before anyone besides you does something about it. I'm sorry for BT and for you.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Sept 16, 2024 14:18:30 GMT -5
Fucking just lost oral surgery appt bc bio nut didn't turn in any of the paperwork. She responded to my email saying the paperwork doesn't matter bc she will be at appts. No fuckwad, these are medical release forms from prior dentist and children's hospital. Without the prior dental referral, they want $2800 out of pocket. They're scheduling at least a month out. And guess who gets to tell bonus teen. Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting her sobbing for the rest of my work day. Oh no. I guess the person in the office who had experience with fosters did not get anywhere either with bio mom? I hope BT takes it well and it does not induce more seizures. Sad all the way around and I have shed a tear or 2 seeing this, so you are not alone. The admin with fosters took a long weekend vacay and is back tomorrow. Today's admin was going to try to call bio nut but I don't have a lot of hope from her. I'm not telling bonus teen about cancelled appt until Thurs night. Meanwhile, I'm playing chicken until tomorrow's psychologist meeting at 11:30 to see if bio shows up. Either way, I've got all my notes in order to hotline her for medical neglect for not helping with dental care. This will be the third hotline call that I've made on this topic and 5th overall. I'm worried if I call now that the system might actually work too fast and then will screw up this appt too. I've already called psych office and let them know the situation and that teen needs to be seen alone without her mother. Will get there early to advocate again. Super sucks that I can't go back with her for support for at least part of the appt but I know that will throw nut into a tizzy and make teen have to choose btwn the two of us whom she upsets and I'm determined to be the bigger person for her sake. No earthly idea how I'm going to sit in the same waiting room with that woman. Charging my headphones as I type
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Sept 16, 2024 14:20:01 GMT -5
What a nightmare. It sounds like he did well for a long time and things went sideways. I understand the wife wanting to get out, but she likely contributed as well - or at least was complacent. Reminds me of Pink Cashmere not quite in-laws. Where the wife sort of covered up a lot of the husband's mental health issues/deterioration to maintain a facade that they were ok when they were not. Absolutely everyone knew this nightmare was coming for a long time, but he would not listen to anyone including her and was fiercely protective of his "stuff". As horrible as hoarding is, he wasn't doing anything that was a danger to himself and he was mentally sharp so it wasn't like they could have forced him to agree to getting rid of things. She probably should have asked about the taxes, but they were married 64 years and he had always handled all the finances. She was genuinely shocked to find out he hadn't been doing them because he was always so adamant they got done immediately every year. Hoarding in itself is a mental health issue. She was complacent. He was mentally sharp, but mucked up the taxes? She wants out now which shows that she knew how bad it was. I am going to guess that she never worked outside of the home. Another issue that I preach to my DD about - you take care of you.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Sept 16, 2024 14:24:41 GMT -5
Oh no. I guess the person in the office who had experience with fosters did not get anywhere either with bio mom? I hope BT takes it well and it does not induce more seizures. Sad all the way around and I have shed a tear or 2 seeing this, so you are not alone. The admin with fosters took a long weekend vacay and is back tomorrow. Today's admin was going to try to call bio nut but I don't have a lot of hope from her. I'm not telling bonus teen about cancelled appt until Thurs night. Meanwhile, I'm playing chicken until tomorrow's psychologist meeting at 11:30 to see if bio shows up. Either way, I've got all my notes in order to hotline her for medical neglect for not helping with dental care. This will be the third hotline call that I've made on this topic and 5th overall. I'm worried if I call now that the system might actually work too fast and then will screw up this appt too. I've already called psych office and let them know the situation and that teen needs to be seen alone without her mother. Will get there early to advocate again. Super sucks that I can't go back with her for support for at least part of the appt but I know that will throw nut into a tizzy and make teen have to choose btwn the two of us whom she upsets and I'm determined to be the bigger person for her sake. No earthly idea how I'm going to sit in the same waiting room with that woman. Charging my headphones as I type If no one has told you this today, you are an excellent human being and the world is better off having you in it.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Sept 16, 2024 14:26:33 GMT -5
I am so sorry azucena. Banging my head against the wall in sympathy.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Sept 16, 2024 14:37:25 GMT -5
Absolutely everyone knew this nightmare was coming for a long time, but he would not listen to anyone including her and was fiercely protective of his "stuff". As horrible as hoarding is, he wasn't doing anything that was a danger to himself and he was mentally sharp so it wasn't like they could have forced him to agree to getting rid of things. She probably should have asked about the taxes, but they were married 64 years and he had always handled all the finances. She was genuinely shocked to find out he hadn't been doing them because he was always so adamant they got done immediately every year. Hoarding in itself is a mental health issue. She was complacent. He was mentally sharp, but mucked up the taxes? She wants out now which shows that she knew how bad it was. I am going to guess that she never worked outside of the home. Another issue that I preach to my DD about - you take care of you. Yes, hoarding is a mental health issue, but you can't commit someone for it and empty out their house. And she has wanted to leave the farm for many years but he wouldn't leave and she wouldn't leave him and move by herself. Regardless of whether she left him or not the kids would still be facing this...probably much worse because believe it or not, she did keep it somewhat in check. She at least kept half the lower level of the house off limits to his stuff. And, she did work outside the home nights and weekends after the kids were old enough to be left alone.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 16, 2024 14:42:27 GMT -5
Fucking just lost oral surgery appt bc bio nut didn't turn in any of the paperwork. She responded to my email saying the paperwork doesn't matter bc she will be at appts. No fuckwad, these are medical release forms from prior dentist and children's hospital. Without the prior dental referral, they want $2800 out of pocket. They're scheduling at least a month out. And guess who gets to tell bonus teen. Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting her sobbing for the rest of my work day. Do they make you pay upfront or will they bill? If they bill I would say fuck it personally. Since you have no legal responsibility they can't come after you for the bill, it will be bio nut who goes to collections. You don't owe her any consideration. If it's upfront that is a pretty hefty chunk of change and I can see why you don't want to go that route.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Sept 16, 2024 14:47:51 GMT -5
OMG a truely awful mess also financially MPL! A huge reminder to all reading this not to let finances get out of control and have if possible a trusted family member step up for elders who seem to be getting into problems Then the material mess! Also keep financial docs separated into a specific area.
I went over finances with our YS before I had surgery last year. He had some recommendations that I’ve done. Think I’ll repeat this year. Jerseyguy won’t be able to help. But the basement with his ‘stuff’. Lots of it will bring money and basement isn’t a true hoarder mess just too much stuff that could be sold now but he won’t. I will respect him about this cause I know his reasons.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Sept 16, 2024 14:56:27 GMT -5
Fucking just lost oral surgery appt bc bio nut didn't turn in any of the paperwork. She responded to my email saying the paperwork doesn't matter bc she will be at appts. No fuckwad, these are medical release forms from prior dentist and children's hospital. Without the prior dental referral, they want $2800 out of pocket. They're scheduling at least a month out. And guess who gets to tell bonus teen. Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting her sobbing for the rest of my work day. Do they make you pay upfront or will they bill? If they bill I would say fuck it personally. Since you have no legal responsibility they can't come after you for the bill, it will be bio nut who goes to collections. You don't owe her any consideration. If it's upfront that is a pretty hefty chunk of change and I can see why you don't want to go that route. I like how you think. It's half upfront before appt though. I am seriously contemplating being vindictive and figuring out what number to call to report bio for welfare fraud because I'm 99.9% sure that she's still collecting some sort of welfare on teen's behalf even though teen hasn't lived with her since March. And just to go on record, I don't post here looking for accolades but appreciate the solidarity and safe space to vent. I only talk about teen's highly personal stuff with my mom, DH, and one close friend who I trust completely. I always thought laterbloomer stories about foster care were fascinating and had often thought I might be interested in providing teen foster care when my kids were grown. So also posting to bring a bit of attention to just how crappy our social systems are. Never expected to be set afloat like this without an anchor or a paddle.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Sept 16, 2024 14:57:12 GMT -5
Azucena, could you bring printed docs that need signing to the psych appointment? If she shows up maybe the Dr can emphasize need to sign and get her to sign? Just a suggestion BT is very fortunate to have your loving care!!
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Sept 16, 2024 15:04:41 GMT -5
I have truly awful stories about my DD who first fostered then adopted The third foster for a bio group turned out to be something that could be in an English novel and so very sad Won’t post them but awful enough that her brother and wife won’t consider adoption.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Sept 16, 2024 15:06:11 GMT -5
Nut is screwing over her own daughter and you are taking the fallout, azucena. Big hugs to BT and to you.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Sept 16, 2024 15:08:49 GMT -5
So T2 decided to move in with her BF. Ok, whatever. I went to Aldi and got stuff just for me without thinking about her since she's never here anyway. I spent $75 which should last me about 2 weeks. I normally spend around $150. Winning!
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Sept 16, 2024 15:09:13 GMT -5
Azucena, could you bring printed docs that need signing to the psych appointment? If she shows up maybe the Dr can emphasize need to sign and get her to sign? Just a suggestion BT is very fortunate to have your loving care!! Oooo this is a fabulous idea, thanks for speaking up! Can't remember if I've posted that teen hasn't had an episode since Thurs morning at school. She attended second half friday and wasn't up for it this morning. Instead she spent an hour on bio hw and I helped her with Alg 2 on and off again for two hours - absolute value and inequalities. She def questioned when she was ever going to use that in real life to which I replied, doesn't matter bc algebra is fun! Friday night she and DD12 convinced me to take them to Target. When we got there, they said I could walk 10 steps behind them and was only there to provide the money LMAO. They went back and forth btwn juniors and women's picking out items for each other. I managed to pick out two things for each of them that were begrudgingly tried on but then declared them winners so now I'm not letting either of them live that down when they wear those items. Then, I went to grocery section to get coffee creamer and left them in main aisle. Next thing I know they are coming back towards me with their arms full of lunch and snack items. I should know better than to leave them alone together lol. She spent lots of time with her friends this weekend and officially has a gf.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Sept 16, 2024 15:11:47 GMT -5
Run of the mill Monday here. Paperwork, phone calls, packaged meat for freezer etc. Eye exam in the morning so I can get the new frames I want. Found out what my new electricity rate will be and made a note to call in October to renew. Made some potato salad for tomorrow's supper.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Sept 16, 2024 15:12:33 GMT -5
They have someone that wants to buy both properties (apparently he bought the trailer house/barn across the road too, but right now there is a lien against the farm because he hasn't paid his taxes in the past 10 years and owes them over 100K. The kids are going to re-file something like 15 years worth of taxes because apparently he royally screwed them up as well. They figure it will cost them about 25K to do so, but he shouldn't owe 100. He had about 2.5 million in company stock at one point, but that's all being worked out as well. He has taken at least 600K in loans against it and they're not sure if he was selling it too. That's crazy! Sorry you have to deal with that. My grandpa was a bit of a hoarder, but not that bad. His kids cleaned everything out pretty quickly, but it still took a bunch of us a while to do. I can't imagine that level of hoard.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Sept 16, 2024 15:19:14 GMT -5
So T2 decided to move in with her BF. Ok, whatever. I went to Aldi and got stuff just for me without thinking about her since she's never here anyway. I spent $75 which should last me about 2 weeks. I normally spend around $150. Winning! I'm going the other direction. I used to make monthly trips to Sam's Club and now they're WEEKLY. I swear I'm going to start hiding food.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Sept 16, 2024 15:21:39 GMT -5
Inspection on new house tomorrow. It had old and new wiring, so the seller has agreed to update the electric. They had already done the rest. Everything else is cosmetic. My cousin is going to help me rip out the granny tub and put in a shower. The cook top also needs replaced. I'm going to get a cool flat top induction one and since he is an electrician, he's going to put it in for me. I have a couple of trees that need to come down. That will be the most expensive part since I have to hire it out.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Sept 16, 2024 15:22:26 GMT -5
So T2 decided to move in with her BF. Ok, whatever. I went to Aldi and got stuff just for me without thinking about her since she's never here anyway. I spent $75 which should last me about 2 weeks. I normally spend around $150. Winning! I'm going the other direction. I used to make monthly trips to Sam's Club and now they're WEEKLY. I swear I'm going to start hiding food. I'll have a big house to myself soon if you need to run away.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Sept 16, 2024 15:22:54 GMT -5
Fucking just lost oral surgery appt bc bio nut didn't turn in any of the paperwork. She responded to my email saying the paperwork doesn't matter bc she will be at appts. No fuckwad, these are medical release forms from prior dentist and children's hospital. Without the prior dental referral, they want $2800 out of pocket. They're scheduling at least a month out. And guess who gets to tell bonus teen. Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting her sobbing for the rest of my work day. Please make sure you report this to the county/state. Bonus teen shouldn't have to suffer because her mom won't do the paperwork. I'm sure that tooth is quite painful by now. It seems the state should have a way to work around such a neglectful parent. Bless you for being the one stable adult in her life.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Sept 16, 2024 15:33:57 GMT -5
Why is there such a rush to clean out the house? Because she is 83 years old and would like to get the hell out of there and have as many years of normal life that she can, but she needs money to do so.
And I'm not so sure it's a "rush", but people have to keep working on it every weekend or it will never get done and they're a couple hours drive away from everyone. Even with a full crew there most weekends, it's probably going to take months before they can even get it to the point where they could have an estate sale company come in.
eta: Also, keep in mind, this is not just an old person's house with a lot of stuff. It's a 3 story house, an attached garage and shop, 3 pole sheds, 8 cube vans, a school bus, and a trailer house all literally PACKED (there's an actual airplane buried in one of the shops). Plus about 30 some cars in various stages of decay inside and outside. Ex spent most of Saturday with a couple guys just trying to get 3 cars dug out of the shed after sinking into the sand the past 40 years or more.
LOL, this sounds like one of those places American Pickers would visit. I hope your son's grandma finds a solution that is right for her. Sounds like a cluster.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Sept 16, 2024 15:37:31 GMT -5
Because she is 83 years old and would like to get the hell out of there and have as many years of normal life that she can, but she needs money to do so.
And I'm not so sure it's a "rush", but people have to keep working on it every weekend or it will never get done and they're a couple hours drive away from everyone. Even with a full crew there most weekends, it's probably going to take months before they can even get it to the point where they could have an estate sale company come in.
eta: Also, keep in mind, this is not just an old person's house with a lot of stuff. It's a 3 story house, an attached garage and shop, 3 pole sheds, 8 cube vans, a school bus, and a trailer house all literally PACKED (there's an actual airplane buried in one of the shops). Plus about 30 some cars in various stages of decay inside and outside. Ex spent most of Saturday with a couple guys just trying to get 3 cars dug out of the shed after sinking into the sand the past 40 years or more.
Oh, wow. That sounds like a job for a bunch of professionals. Or a few sticks of strategically placed dynamite. We had a whole bunch of crap plugged into one extension cord (multiple trouble lights and fans) that was also plugged into another extension cord and when I went to plug the vacuum in it sparked and started smoking. I'm like..."uh, how about we just go to town for lunch and leave this all on?" I was informed that we were not yet aware if there was paid up homeowners insurance so not a good idea.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Sept 16, 2024 15:51:24 GMT -5
The admin with fosters took a long weekend vacay and is back tomorrow. Today's admin was going to try to call bio nut but I don't have a lot of hope from her. I'm not telling bonus teen about cancelled appt until Thurs night. Meanwhile, I'm playing chicken until tomorrow's psychologist meeting at 11:30 to see if bio shows up. Either way, I've got all my notes in order to hotline her for medical neglect for not helping with dental care. This will be the third hotline call that I've made on this topic and 5th overall. I'm worried if I call now that the system might actually work too fast and then will screw up this appt too. I've already called psych office and let them know the situation and that teen needs to be seen alone without her mother. Will get there early to advocate again. Super sucks that I can't go back with her for support for at least part of the appt but I know that will throw nut into a tizzy and make teen have to choose btwn the two of us whom she upsets and I'm determined to be the bigger person for her sake. No earthly idea how I'm going to sit in the same waiting room with that woman. Charging my headphones as I type If no one has told you this today, you are an excellent human being and the world is better off having you in it. And even if they have told you, let me just say, Yeah That!
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