giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Sept 11, 2024 6:29:12 GMT -5
I don't know what it is lately, but the hot flashes have been really awful. And I can't sleep at night.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Sept 11, 2024 6:37:53 GMT -5
I don't know what it is lately, but the hot flashes have been really awful. And I can't sleep at night. Mine were terrible last night. Window open, fan running (window fan 4 feet from where I lay said 56 degrees), and I still woke up in a puddle. Sheets are definitely coming off today.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Sept 11, 2024 7:17:40 GMT -5
I took my temp to make sure I wasn't running a fever. DD1 was all like "is someone sick?' When she saw that the thermometer was out.
I couldn't sleep partly to some new job frustration.
And then I remembered that you all tell me I'm really hard on myself. And when I was doing some PD on building trusting relationships, one of the things they said is that the harder you are on yourself, the harder you are on others.
So. That perspective change seemed to have helped.
I haven't hit 30 business days at my job yet. Which I have no reason to have high expectations of myself and others. Except I do.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Sept 11, 2024 7:54:42 GMT -5
Just got an email from medicaid office social worker...bio mom won't confirm or deny that she received my overnight mail of all the forms we need from her as well as addressed and stamped envelopes to send them all the correct places. She is not inclined to return the signed paperwork giving children's hospital permission to talk to oral surgeon or for the medicaid dentist to refer to oral surgeon. Instead she's going to call all these places and ask a bunch of questions that she won't understand the answers to. Meanwhile clock is ticking for oral surgeon appt to hold 9/20. She's also not inclined to give consent for new psychologist appt 9/17 and instead may meet us there which will make for a lovely productive appt. Psychiatrist also suggested increasing zoloft since teen and I both reported that it wasn't keeping her depression at bay enough even before this latest chaos. Psych reported that bio mom doesn't understand the diagnosis and is still hung up on it being caused by medication, school stress, diet, lack of sleep and/or therapy itself. I'm also increasingly pissed that my 3 voicemails left with children's services case worker in the midst of the drama last week went unanswered. I can continue to hotline each instance of medical neglect by bio mom but it doesn't matter if the case worker never responds. Heaven help me. This just continues to become more and more absurd. And I managed to call my friend back about her job search and she proceeded to try to out all the bad things still happening at our prior school. Shut that down twice and won't have anyone break the healthy boundary I've established for myself. I've informed the church of our transfer to new church which prompted several emails from staff and acquaintances all of which I've immed blocked and deleted without reading much less responding. At what point does the teen’s medical health get taken from her control? Do there need to be so many reports on file? Does there need to be another critical episode? It sounds like mom is stonewalling this, not to help her child but as a power play against you. Can CPS (or whatever agency deals with this) help? I've learned that Missouri CPS is at the bottom. I have to wait for her mom to mess up and make us miss the actual appointment(s) before it is reportable. So far she manages to do just enough that CPS lets her skate by if nothing else for lack of resources. I asked about reporting her for just sitting by in hospital and not doing a damn thing during episode. Was told that it didn't matter bc she could assume that medical staff would handle it. Early on I even followed CPS unofficial advice to tell her I only want medical POA and wouldn't report her for continuing to receive any state aid on teen's behalf. No dice. It's def a power play against me and it's obvious she could care less about teen except for when teen makes her look good. I'm going to call our assigned case worker again today to continue to be the polite but squeaky wheel. And if he doesn't respond, I need to dig back through my unorganized notes and find the number to report him as unresponsive.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Sept 11, 2024 8:04:14 GMT -5
Teen had an uneventful first day back at school. I emailed a couple of teachers who are still insisting on putting 0s in the grade book resulting in Fs showing up as her grade instead of incomplete so grade won't calculate. Explained the nuance it makes to her mental health which is critical right now.
She's begun seeing someone and they worked it out for 4 of them to double date to movies so the extra 2 could provide support if there was an event. I gave date brief coaching before they left and both of our numbers as well as a link to diagnosis should she need to show someone to prevent ambulance call. One of the 3 had been around seizures before. I tagged off duty to DH to go play softball for a much needed break. She must have had an episode around 8 that date handled pretty well by calling DH who arrived within 10 mins to find them sitting outside and he was able to get help to walk teen to car.
So hard to know if letting her go out was right choice but it's also very clear that social engagement lifts her spirits. Kinda glad to have first episode without me out of the way and know that it can be handled. I've been present for all dozens of them except when she was in both ambulance rides.
Teen is currently still sleeping it off and when she attempted to get ready for school admitted pounding headache which is a sign so no school today. Helps that it's a half day. Virtual psych appt this afternoon. Haven't told her yet bc those tend to stress her out so limited knowledge is better.
Talked thru some of my mom guilt in therapy and also with coworker who has been providing foster care for years and also has bio kids.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Sept 11, 2024 8:17:12 GMT -5
azucena, I just wanted to say, as someone who has a family member who suffers from seizures, how blessed that teen is to have you in her life. Seizures in general can throw so much chaos into life, and you're taking that challenge & running with it. I hope your therapist is telling you what a champion you are. Rock on!
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Sept 11, 2024 9:36:58 GMT -5
Got my homeowners insurance renewal this morning. $3788, up $1048 from last year. That plus the car insurance renewal will be a $7-8K hit in November.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Sept 11, 2024 10:02:11 GMT -5
At what point does the teen’s medical health get taken from her control? Do there need to be so many reports on file? Does there need to be another critical episode? It sounds like mom is stonewalling this, not to help her child but as a power play against you. Can CPS (or whatever agency deals with this) help? I've learned that Missouri CPS is at the bottom. I have to wait for her mom to mess up and make us miss the actual appointment(s) before it is reportable. So far she manages to do just enough that CPS lets her skate by if nothing else for lack of resources. I asked about reporting her for just sitting by in hospital and not doing a damn thing during episode. Was told that it didn't matter bc she could assume that medical staff would handle it. Early on I even followed CPS unofficial advice to tell her I only want medical POA and wouldn't report her for continuing to receive any state aid on teen's behalf. No dice. It's def a power play against me and it's obvious she could care less about teen except for when teen makes her look good. I'm going to call our assigned case worker again today to continue to be the polite but squeaky wheel. And if he doesn't respond, I need to dig back through my unorganized notes and find the number to report him as unresponsive. I’m sorry. This doesn’t seem right. How are you supposed to advocate for the teen when her mom won’t AND she ties your hands? All this does is hurt her daughter. Is that the goal? If so, it’s a pretty shitty thing to do as a parent.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Sept 11, 2024 10:06:30 GMT -5
We did the lesson on common core multiplication today, although it was just the introduction so we were only splitting up one of the factors. It was kind of ridiculous because each problem had like 4 lines of steps, which took several minutes. Then after we had the answer, I would multiply it the old school way in like 2 seconds to make sure that the we got the right answer the common core way. I let her do the rollercoaster on my VR headset in between lessons and she talked me into buying more rollercoaster routes. I can't speak exactly to what you're working on, but I will say all those different methods *I think* help solidify the concept behind the answer, and different methods work for different people. At my kids school, sometimes they have to do a problem a certain way, but it's never been taught as the only way. I've said before that I did well in lower math levels probably because I was a rule follower. Once I got to higher levels of math and there weren't simple rules to follow to get the right answer I struggled. I did fairly well in math in school. I did Geometry, Algebra, and Adv Math Trig. In College more Math and Statistics. I went into the Final doing very well, bombed the final and got something like a C-. I was so upset. So, whatever math I learned in school, was gone by the time my kids were in school. I tried to get DD a math Tutor, but she refused. I am now sorry I did not push it harder. It is hard to fight their opposition when you work full time and are struggling to keep up with everything though.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Sept 11, 2024 10:07:38 GMT -5
Made it into Limerick today. We stopped at Ross Castle in Killarney and TD got some pics but it was cold and wet and very windy.
Trying to get into the place we are staying in in Limerick was…..challenging. Google Maps wanted me to turn into a wall. Yeah, that’s not gonna work. We wound up driving around until we found an entrance. We could see th3 sign, just no way of entering.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Sept 11, 2024 10:26:32 GMT -5
So, I mentioned over the weekend that DH wanted to give DD's Rabbits to a Petting Zoo at the farm where he got corn for his friend's picnic last weekend. I had texted DD and told her, and she texted back no...I DH was still going to give at least one away, but I told him he could not b/c it would damage his relationship with his daughter. Unfortunately, I never texted her that I was going to keep them or anything. We have had the Rabbits at our house since the pandemic started and DD moved home. So, 4 years? DD hates them b/c they smell. They are in our basement, and I clean the cages at least 2x a week. I cleaned Mon am, and this morning they really need to be cleaned again. Saturday Evening my DS called, saying DD called him about the rabbits, and he was going to come and get them and move them to his rental property temporarily until dd could come and get them.
I never commented to DH that DD does not feed the rabbits or pay much attention to them when she is home. Last time she was home, I had asked her if she fed the rabbits when she called me from the road, and she said she had not even gone downstairs. She travels and is away from home a lot, often gone 3 days at a time. She paid to have one of them fixed, IDK how much it was, $400 or more. So she says she paid a lot of $$ for them and we are not giving them away. I have decided she can do whatever she wants, but I don't think it will end well.
She appears to not be speaking to me. I hope she gets over it.
To top it all off, DH sold the spare car yesterday, and she may take that as a we don't lover her kind of thing. She had accidentally taken the 2nd key home to MI, and DH had her bring it back last time she came home, b/c he wanted to sell the car, but Idk if she will remember that. We can afford a more dependable spare car, so he sold it for $8,000. It was a bit big for transporting family members to and from the Dr. He just wants something like a CRV or HR-V.
I have requested the day off tomorrow; afraid she might come and go and not talk to me otherwise.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 11, 2024 10:32:46 GMT -5
I love it. I'm so tempted to go back and re-learn math their way, I've just never made the time. I wish I would have learned how numbers work instead of just learning math facts by rote. Same. It really did make a difference with statistics that I understood how and why they worked instead of being expected to memorize stuff off a chalkboard.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 11, 2024 10:37:46 GMT -5
IDK if a petting zoo is the right answer but if DD doesn't take care of them when she is home and you've had to take care of them in your home for four years now IMHO DH had every right to decide what to do with them because at this point they would be considered your rabbits. Especially if you have proof of all the food, vet care and other expenses you have incurred.
Rabbits need a lot of enrichment and time to move around outside of their cages. People tend to get rabbits and other rodents thinking they are low care pets, they are not even close.
The rabbits would be better off in a home that can provide them that.
I get not wanting to rock the boat with DD. I am just saying I don't think she has any right to be pissed off about things. These don't appear to be beloved family pets your DH is sending off to the farm. They are more a case of she wanted rabbits, realized rabbits are work and decided you could do it.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Sept 11, 2024 10:48:56 GMT -5
IDK if a petting zoo is the right answer but if DD doesn't take care of them when she is home and you've had to take care of them in your home for four years now IMHO DH had every right to decide what to do with them because at this point they would be considered your rabbits. Especially if you have proof of all the food, vet care and other expenses you have incurred. Rabbits need a lot of enrichment and time to move around outside of their cages. People tend to get rabbits and other rodents thinking they are low care pets, they are not even close. The rabbits would be better off in a home that can provide them that. I get not wanting to rock the boat with DD. I am just saying I don't think she has any right to be pissed off about things. These don't appear to be beloved family pets your DH is sending off to the farm. They are more a case of she wanted rabbits, realized rabbits are work and decided you could do it. One of her boyfriends gave her the first one, then she got a second one to keep the first one company - then realized she could end up with baby rabbits, so she got the one fixed. Yes, I don't take them out of their cages, I just feed them. DD usually takes them out when she is home. I am afraid DH may give them to someone who has no intention of making them a pet, so I felt the petting zoo was a good option. DD was violently opposed to the idea though. To be fair, I just have felt that she was not set up to care for them in any living situation she was in, and afraid is she lets them run around in an apartment, she may end up with a huge bill for repairs when she moves out, but I guess she needs to learn the hard way.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Sept 11, 2024 10:58:52 GMT -5
I did horrible in math in high school. It didn't "click" for me until college, then I took a lot of it as part of my science major.
I really don't like how much they're pushing kids through math earlier these days. I mean, I get that you don't want an advanced math student being held back by a slow moving curriculum, but I think the criteria for going above grade level should be stricter. In my state, you are required to take 3 years of high school math and reach the level of Algebra II. Our flagship college requires 4 years of HS math for admission. Carrot is only in 9th grade and already in Algebra II which means in order to take 3 more years of math he's going to be into some pretty advanced stuff by senior year for a kid that doesn't aspire to go the STEM route. I'm worried he's going to burn out quickly.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Sept 11, 2024 12:04:31 GMT -5
That is a tough spot to be in bean29.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Sept 11, 2024 12:06:35 GMT -5
Sheets are in the washer, bone broth in the pressure cooker. Besides work, that is all I have in me today.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Sept 11, 2024 12:49:50 GMT -5
Hope a good solution is found for the rabbits, bean29. I agree, they're not really your problem except by default. I'm roasting a turkey breast. They were .99/lb at the grocery store so I bought 2. One is in the freezer. We're going to go all out and have mashed potatoes, stuffing and cranberry sauce, too, plus gravy.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Sept 11, 2024 13:00:54 GMT -5
I want bunnies so much. It's shocking I made it through the pandemic and now a year of volunteering at a bunny rescue and I still don't have any. I really can't handle any more pet clean up on the home front, but we should have done bunnies and tortoises instead of dogs and cats this round.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Sept 11, 2024 13:04:51 GMT -5
I used to raise Netherland Dwarfs and had a couple Angoras (royal PIA to groom, do not recommend). My dad built a metal frame that was a few feet off the ground that wire cages sat in and then built a roof over the entire thing. I think there were like 8 cages total. All the poop feel through to the ground and you didn't really have to do anything to clean cages. I think I occasionally took the pressure washer to them.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Sept 11, 2024 13:13:33 GMT -5
I used to raise Netherland Dwarfs and had a couple Angoras (royal PIA to groom, do not recommend). My dad built a metal frame that was a few feet off the ground that wire cages sat in and then built a roof over the entire thing. I think there were like 8 cages total. All the poop feel through to the ground and you didn't really have to do anything to clean cages. I think I occasionally took the pressure washer to them. Definitely not indoor rabbits.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Sept 11, 2024 13:15:52 GMT -5
Looks like today is my turn for a massive nosebleed. I put the sheets in the dryer and headed back to my office, and it just started pouring. Always on just the one side. I know I can have it cauterized, but they have become less frequent.
Guess I will be doing another load of laundry today.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Sept 11, 2024 13:19:03 GMT -5
I used to raise Netherland Dwarfs and had a couple Angoras (royal PIA to groom, do not recommend). My dad built a metal frame that was a few feet off the ground that wire cages sat in and then built a roof over the entire thing. I think there were like 8 cages total. All the poop feel through to the ground and you didn't really have to do anything to clean cages. I think I occasionally took the pressure washer to them. Definitely not indoor rabbits. Rabbits do fine outdoors. I would never keep them in the house personally because that does make them a ton of work.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Sept 11, 2024 13:21:40 GMT -5
Hope a good solution is found for the rabbits, bean29 . I agree, they're not really your problem except by default. I'm roasting a turkey breast. They were .99/lb at the grocery store so I bought 2. One is in the freezer. We're going to go all out and have mashed potatoes, stuffing and cranberry sauce, too, plus gravy. What time shall I arrive?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Sept 11, 2024 13:25:40 GMT -5
I don't think the rabbit rescue place smells at all and that place has a.lot of rabbits. I'm used to dog and cat shelters and I was expecting that very specific shelter stink. I don't know if that says more about me or the shelter.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Sept 11, 2024 13:29:20 GMT -5
Definitely not indoor rabbits. Rabbits do fine outdoors. I would never keep them in the house personally because that does make them a ton of work. Agreed!
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Sept 11, 2024 13:33:29 GMT -5
Soup, you are scaring me on insurance, hubs hasn't transferred his yet.
I got him a cardiology appointment, we got referrals. Have a call in from urology but nothing so far.
DD has appointments set up. I'm still beating this stuff down daily. I think I'm done and forget to change address on something else, the latest I remember is Walmart stock, I will get there.
Hubs is painting the bedroom ceiling, he said might as well do the sidewalls too so I'm off to get paint. I don't know if I want the lavender or peach, haven't a hard time deciding.
He took the light fixture down to clean, oh my, the return airs and everything. We are doing them room by room when we paint. I am having someone come and clean and check out the gas fireplace. If its like everything else here, I doubt its been serviced. I cleaned the front and cleaned it thoroughly. The neighbor who showed me how to turn the pilot off as hers is just like ours said it was really dirty. It was, glass all smoked up and full of dust inside.
Ok, off to Home Depot.
Hubs is sitting down, he is still very tired, poor guy. I told him its been about a month and half and I still wear out.
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ners
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Post by ners on Sept 11, 2024 13:50:35 GMT -5
So frustrated.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Sept 11, 2024 13:51:15 GMT -5
I got the MFing house! I happened to look over the seller's disclosure again and notice that the electricity is on fuses. I asked my cousin if it's a big deal. He said replacing the box is easy but he needs to know what kind of wires are going to it. He's coming to the house on Friday when he gets back in town with me. As long as the wiring is good, I'm signing on the dotted line. I am obsessed with this house, so fingers crossed!
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Sept 11, 2024 13:54:25 GMT -5
YAY! which one, now? I can't remember which one was the current offer...
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