what are you doing right now?

[NastyWoman]

You do not  walk alone weltz



It may feel like this but that is not true. We are with you.

[Pink Cashmere]

It has been a week since it happened. 

I won’t speak on her not calling the police, instead of going to her boss about it, because I don’t want to judge someone that may not have been thinking clearly at the time. She went to her boss immediately after she got away from him.

Perhaps her boss should’ve called the police?

No, it was the guy’s GF that confronted the victim saying she was lying, that he wouldn’t do something like that. The GF also told the victim that it was the victim’s word against the guy’s word, and nobody was going to believe her. But somebody did see the victim leaving the isolated area that he had dragged her to, and saw him leave a few seconds later, and asked him why was he even in that area. The victim grabbed that person to walk away with her, and told that person what had just happened, and that person went with her to tell her boss.

I’ve known the victim for several years, and I’ve never known her to lie or even exaggerate. She’s the kind of person that says whats on her mind, and you can like it or leave it. I’ve never known her to talk about men hitting on her, more than what the average woman might encounter, and I’ve never known her to accuse any man of being inappropriate with her besides the stupid shit some men might say to a woman.

The person I put her in touch with advised her to report it to federal leo, since she works for the federal government and it happened at work. She did, they took the information, and called her back to schedule a meeting with her tomorrow. I am guessing that if her bosses can’t prove that they followed up on the allegations, they are going to be in a lot of trouble. As they should be.

[CCL]

Aug 12, 2024 13:04:06 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Y'all know I'm chill with bugs and critters, but the one thing that totally gives me the "ick" is ticks.  Extracting those little monsters is a nightmare.  Back in my horse-owning days, ticks were a huge problem for us humans and our horses too.  

We've found that if you cover them completely with gel alcohol hand sanitizer, they will die within a few minutes. Then you can pull them off with tweezers.

[bean29]

Aug 12, 2024 14:40:41 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 12, 2024 12:57:58 GMT -5 snapdragon said:

Pink, if your house has a "brain/house system" could someone be hacking into it and is enjoying freaking people out?

That is one of my strong boundaries. I don't have dot or echo and I won't get one just incase there is a smartass 12 year old that can hack my wifi and start messing with me. I just don't enjoy having something listening to me 24/7. At least with the cell and computer I know it's possible and I can turn them off as needed. 

The lamps are tied into the Apple HomeKit, but not the ceiling fan.

I had the same strong reservations as you, but somehow I ended up with HomePods anyway.

Every once in a while somebody will say something in tv that makes the HomePod think somebody is talking to them, and Siri will say “I’m sorry, who is speaking” or something like that, because it’s not my or Mister’s voice. It is still somewhat creepy to me.

The tv wasn’t on when the lamps came on though.

Maybe I should get Mister to change the passwords, just in case.

We have the Echo Show from Amazon, and the "wake word" is Alexa.  Both DH and DS are Alex, so she gets confused and starts talking to us when we are not asking any questions.  I also have Pillar lights and the front porch light and the Nest Thermostat and a light in the laundry room that are "Smart Home" devices.  I have a few more switches that I spend $$ on that DH never installed.  I haven't pushed him, b/c as other have noted, sometimes one ends up weighing the convenience of the smart home devices against the lack of privacy and questions if they are worth the risks.

[azucena]

Aug 12, 2024 17:17:14 GMT -5 CCL said:

Aug 12, 2024 13:04:06 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Y'all know I'm chill with bugs and critters, but the one thing that totally gives me the "ick" is ticks.  Extracting those little monsters is a nightmare.  Back in my horse-owning days, ticks were a huge problem for us humans and our horses too.  

We've found that if you cover them completely with gel alcohol hand sanitizer, they will die within a few minutes. Then you can pull them off with tweezers.

Pretty sure you're not supposed to do that bc then they release all the bacteria into you as they die. Increases Lyme and other diseases.

[chiver78]

it is a gorgeous night here and I'm parked on the deck with my laptop streaming the last Cape League baseball game of 2024 - the tiebreaker in a best of 3 series between my former town's team and one from around the elbow of Cape Cod. my team is going for a championship three-peat tonight. woo!!

S asked me late last week, if he could crash again last night with the schedule the way it turned out. I saw it, and waited until I woke up at zero dark thirty the next morning to answer that Monday morning was early for us with a vet visit and that I couldn't say yes. last weekend he so very much disrupted the house hours, for twice as long as he'd originally asked for. maybe next summer he crashes with mooch and M. my current house is in a town that doesn't even have a team!

[CCL]

Aug 12, 2024 17:26:22 GMT -5 azucena said:

Aug 12, 2024 17:17:14 GMT -5 CCL said:

We've found that if you cover them completely with gel alcohol hand sanitizer, they will die within a few minutes. Then you can pull them off with tweezers.

Pretty sure you're not supposed to do that bc then they release all the bacteria into you as they die. Increases Lyme and other diseases.

Hmmm... never heard that before. So what are you supposed to do then? Surely not just leave them attached?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Aug 12, 2024 17:34:50 GMT -5 CCL said:

Aug 12, 2024 17:26:22 GMT -5 azucena said:

Pretty sure you're not supposed to do that bc then they release all the bacteria into you as they die. Increases Lyme and other diseases.

Hmmm... never heard that before. So what are you supposed to do then? Surely not just leave them attached?

You use tweezers and gently pull outward making sure you get the head. Don't twist and don't yank.

A hot needle sometimes gets them to unlatch.

Most important is get the head. You miss it burrows in and that's when you're most at risk of infection.

I've pulled more than my fair share off DH after mushroom hunting. Deer ticks are a bitch.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Glad Half Priced Books is out there on 120th cause I could spend a fortune there.

I got a really pretty cookbook and a couple novels I've been wanting to read but wasn't sure I'd like them enough to pay full price.

$7 and $10? Sure.

[Opti]

Aug 12, 2024 15:15:56 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

So someone I know reported to her bosses that she’d been sexually assaulted at work by another employee. She said one of the managers told the perpetrators’s GF (who works there too) what the victim said happened, and the GF went and confronted the victim, saying she was lying, he wouldn’t do something like that.

The victim says nobody from management has gotten back to her and said anything about what she reported, and she still has to see the perpetrator at work. 

Maybe I’m just stupid, but it seems to me that there’s a few things wrong with that situation. She asked me what should she do next because she is uneasy having to be around him now when she is at work.

That’s way above my pay grade, so I put her in touch with someone more knowledgeable than me. The only advice I had was when she said that 2 other women have accused him of being sexually inappropriate, and I told her to ask those women if they were willing to write statements or be witnesses or whatever, since it sounds like this is a pattern of behavior for him. The person I put her in touch with, was to advise her on who to go to next, since her bosses seem to want to ignore it except for telling people about it, like the GF.

So this is what we’re doing in 2024? 

Your employer is a federal contractor, correct?

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 12, 2024 17:39:07 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Aug 12, 2024 17:34:50 GMT -5 CCL said:

Hmmm... never heard that before. So what are you supposed to do then? Surely not just leave them attached?

You use tweezers and gently pull outward making sure you get the head. Don't twist and don't yank.

A hot needle sometimes gets them to unlatch.

Most important is get the head. You miss it burrows in and that's when you're most at risk of infection.

I've pulled more than my fair share off DH after mushroom hunting. Deer ticks are a bitch.

o.m.g. That reminds me of a Saturday morning after I’d gone spelunking on a CLUE field trip in elementary school, and spent the night in the caves. I was laying on my Mim’s bed, watching cartoons, when I noticed what I initially thought was a scab on my arm. It was a tick.

My Mom got it off, and took me to Urgent Care anyway. The first question the Doctor asked her was whether she was sure she got the head off too. That freaked me out and I had a meltdown. I got anxious just typing about it.

Fast forward a couple of decades, and I was in the waiting room at the pediatrician for one of my young children. A lady came in with her niece. The niece had a gray blob on her body that the Aunt had taken her to the children’s hospital to see what it was, and they told her it was a skin tag and sent them on their way. The Aunt didn’t believe that, so she’d brought her niece to the pediatrician for a 2nd opinion. It was a fat ass tick! One of the times I was at the front desk, I saw it in a plastic bag, they were sending it to be tested for disease or something, but  .

How did a whole hospital not recognize it was a tick, and tell that little girl’s family that it was a skin tag?! It was so fat, that it had to have been on her for a minute, and getting bigger, which is why her Aunt was trying to find out what it was. Idk where the girls’ parents were. 

When I first bought my house, my yard had a lot of ticks in it. I had a chow chow, and she’d never had ticks until I moved there, and suddenly they were all over her. I put so much stuff in my yard to try to kill the ticks that I finally realized I might accidentally kill my dog, trying to kill the ticks. I started taking her to the vet regularly for baths and dips to kill whatever ticks were on her. I’m not proud of it, but I was afraid to even touch her, or let her inside my house or even in my car to go to the vet. 

After that summer, I was always religious about putting pesticides in my yard (but more reasonable about it instead of putting any and everything out there like I did at first) so I didn’t have anymore tick issues. And my dogs after that, never had ticks.

[CCL]

Aug 12, 2024 17:39:07 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Aug 12, 2024 17:34:50 GMT -5 CCL said:

Hmmm... never heard that before. So what are you supposed to do then? Surely not just leave them attached?

You use tweezers and gently pull outward making sure you get the head. Don't twist and don't yank.

A hot needle sometimes gets them to unlatch.

Most important is get the head. You miss it burrows in and that's when you're most at risk of infection.

I've pulled more than my fair share off DH after mushroom hunting. Deer ticks are a bitch.

Oh I know not to twist, yank or squeeze them. They are just to hard to pull off when alive and sometimes don't come off in one piece. Yuck lol!

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 12, 2024 17:58:41 GMT -5 Opti said:

Aug 12, 2024 15:15:56 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

So someone I know reported to her bosses that she’d been sexually assaulted at work by another employee. She said one of the managers told the perpetrators’s GF (who works there too) what the victim said happened, and the GF went and confronted the victim, saying she was lying, he wouldn’t do something like that.

The victim says nobody from management has gotten back to her and said anything about what she reported, and she still has to see the perpetrator at work. 

Maybe I’m just stupid, but it seems to me that there’s a few things wrong with that situation. She asked me what should she do next because she is uneasy having to be around him now when she is at work.

That’s way above my pay grade, so I put her in touch with someone more knowledgeable than me. The only advice I had was when she said that 2 other women have accused him of being sexually inappropriate, and I told her to ask those women if they were willing to write statements or be witnesses or whatever, since it sounds like this is a pattern of behavior for him. The person I put her in touch with, was to advise her on who to go to next, since her bosses seem to want to ignore it except for telling people about it, like the GF.

So this is what we’re doing in 2024? 

Your employer is a federal contractor, correct?

Huh? I work for the federal government and so does she.  We have different jobs, but we are both federal employees and not contractors or working through contractors.

[seriousthistime]

Aug 12, 2024 16:53:48 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Aug 12, 2024 16:13:55 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Sexual assault is a form of sexual harassment.  It should be reported to the employer. It takes a while for criminal justice to play things out and the outcome is never certain.  But if sexual harassment is reported to the employer, they'd better act on it and at least investigate. They can be sued if they do nothing.  Maybe ask for guidance from the union steward?

The GF of the woman who was assaulted confronted her and said the assailant was lying?  Some GF!  Is the victim generally truthful?  

She said the victim was lying.

That's what I meant to say.  Brain fart. 

[taz157]

DD2 turns 3 today!! 😱😢

I can’t believe my daughters are now 13 and 3!!! Time flies!! 😱😭😱

[andi9899]

Ok. So now the seller says they don't want to do any repairs. If I say OK and the inspection finds something big that's wrong with it, can I still walk away? Or am I stuck with it? I asked my realtor and I'm waiting for her to respond.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 12, 2024 16:13:55 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Sexual assault is a form of sexual harassment.  It should be reported to the employer. It takes a while for criminal justice to play things out and the outcome is never certain.  But if sexual harassment is reported to the employer, they'd better act on it and at least investigate. They can be sued if they do nothing.  Maybe ask for guidance from the union steward?

The GF of the woman who was assaulted confronted her and said the assailant was lying?  Some GF!  Is the victim generally truthful?  

Oh my employer would find out when the cops showed up. I'd be camped out in HR until then. I'd also be demanding an emergency no contact order be put in place. They can do them pretty much on the spot. I don't mess around with stuff like that anymore.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 12, 2024 19:05:48 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Ok. So now the seller says they don't want to do any repairs. If I say OK and the inspection finds something big that's wrong with it, can I still walk away? Or am I stuck with it? I asked my realtor and I'm waiting for her to respond.

I can't imagine a sales contract without a contingency for passing inspection.

[resolution]

Aug 12, 2024 19:05:48 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Ok. So now the seller says they don't want to do any repairs. If I say OK and the inspection finds something big that's wrong with it, can I still walk away? Or am I stuck with it? I asked my realtor and I'm waiting for her to respond.

That probably depends on the verbiage your realtor used for your offer.

When we bought our current house, there was asbestos around the pipes in the basement. The seller wanted to pay for remediation but not removal, but I didn't want to live in a house with asbestos. So we had them get a quote for remediation and for removal, then they lowered the price by the amount quoted for remediation. After we closed on the house we hired the contractor to remove it all before we moved in.

[CCL]

Aug 12, 2024 19:05:48 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Ok. So now the seller says they don't want to do any repairs. If I say OK and the inspection finds something big that's wrong with it, can I still walk away? Or am I stuck with it? I asked my realtor and I'm waiting for her to respond.

Double-check your contract, but that's usually how it works. You might be able to convince them to give a monetary allowance instead of doing repairs.

[Pink Cashmere]

So what I was gon tell y’all yesterday in the post I lost before that other stuff happened, was that Mister asked me to go ride with him somewhere. He was going to take something to a friend, and on the way to his friend’s house, he said that he was going to try something on the way back home.

Well apparently his new toy has a couple of driving modes that you can only access after a break in period of a certain number of miles. We already knew about one, but another had popped up yesterday morning, and that was what he wanted to “try” on the way home. 

It’s called “Drag” mode, so yeah. Just as a passenger, I can see how that could get you in a lot of trouble.

Mister said a week or so ago that even with all his research, he didn’t really know what he was getting himself into with that car, and it was maybe too much. 

Last night he said that after driving it in that mode, he’d really like to take it to a track and play with it. I still don’t know if the track that use to be near here is still open, but if it is, that’s where he needs to go. What it’s capable of is kind of wasted if all you do is drive it back and forth to work or whatever. So yes, take it somewhere that you can legally and safely play with it. 

Random people always compliment him on it, telling him it is a nice looking car. One Mexican guy at a gas station was like “I just want to see the inside”. Mister unlocked the doors, and the guy was like “no, no, I just want to look through the window”.  A couple days ago, at another gas station (did I mention it’s a gas guzzler and Mister is always going to the gas station?) an older White gentleman asked Mister to just let him hear it, so Mister got in and started it and revved the engine, and the gentleman was like “GotDAMN she sounds good”. 

I only mention Mexican and White, because I live in a place where race matters even though it shouldn’t, and I love it how when people have a common interest, if they are decent people, it doesn’t matter what the other person that is interested in the same thing looks like.

When Mister went to a car show Saturday morning, he sent me a picture of an old Shelby and a ‘67 Mustang. The Shelby only had 3k miles on it, Mister met and talked to the owner and the owner said he only drives it to car shows like that. Most of the owners of the old classic cars were white men in their 60’s and 70’s, but they were happy to talk cars with Mister, and tell him all about their cars.

The car show was near a car museum that neither of knew even existed. He sent me a picture of a tiny BMW that was made in the 60’s. It was next to a Cadillac made in the ‘60’s. It looked like you could put the BMW in the trunk of the Cadillac. Or just pick the BMW up and take it in the store with you while you shopped. It was just that tiny. 

Anyway I went off on some tangents again, so I will hush now.

[ners]

Pink Cashmere  I was on vacation, so I was not on the boards much.  Was a disappointing vacation as I was ill the entire time.  Just now feeling better just in time to go to work.  DF went to urgent care today and he has bronchitis.  

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 12, 2024 19:10:02 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 12, 2024 16:13:55 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Sexual assault is a form of sexual harassment.  It should be reported to the employer. It takes a while for criminal justice to play things out and the outcome is never certain.  But if sexual harassment is reported to the employer, they'd better act on it and at least investigate. They can be sued if they do nothing.  Maybe ask for guidance from the union steward?

The GF of the woman who was assaulted confronted her and said the assailant was lying?  Some GF!  Is the victim generally truthful?  

Oh my employer would find out when the cops showed up. I'd be camped out in HR until then. I'd also be demanding an emergency no contact order be put in place. They can do them pretty much on the spot. I don't mess around with stuff like that anymore.

You would’ve handled things differently, but this is a young woman, working her first “real” job. I believe that in her mind, she was going to someone in authority, when she went to her boss.

And because I have actually dealt with men I worked with, thinking they could touch me inappropriately, I  understand that she might not have known exactly what to do, but support her at least reporting it. I didn’t report it when I was touched inappropriately, I told the offenders that if they didn’t want to have to explain to their wives why they got fired for sexual harassment, to leave me the fuck alone. And they did. But I didn’t make an official report, when in hindsight I probably should have, because they were predators and just moved on to other young women.

I am just saying that I’d rather not blame her for not handling it the way my older self or you would’ve handled it. We still live in a society where it takes courage for a woman to speak up about things like that. Imo, the fact that her bosses have not gotten back to her since the day she reported it, kind of proves my point about that. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 12, 2024 19:40:27 GMT -5 ners said:

Pink Cashmere   I was on vacation, so I was not on the boards much.  Was a disappointing vacation as I was ill the entire time.  Just now feeling better just in time to go to work.  DF went to urgent care today and he has bronchitis.  

Heyyyyy! 

I am sorry you were sick during your vacation, and that your DF is sick now. Ugh!

I am glad that you checked in though. Since you said you are feeling better now (just in time to go back to work….DAMMIT!), I hope your DF gets better soon. 

[giramomma]

Aug 12, 2024 19:05:48 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Ok. So now the seller says they don't want to do any repairs. If I say OK and the inspection finds something big that's wrong with it, can I still walk away? Or am I stuck with it? I asked my realtor and I'm waiting for her to respond.

What I am hearing is that contracts are written so that sellers don't have to do any repairs under a certain amount of money (like 10k). 

I would agree to no repairs. Something like the above shows that you don't want every little dumb thing fixed, and you won't be on the hook for something big that should be fixed before you buy.

[ners]

Aug 12, 2024 19:53:30 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 12, 2024 19:40:27 GMT -5 ners said:

Pink Cashmere   I was on vacation, so I was not on the boards much.  Was a disappointing vacation as I was ill the entire time.  Just now feeling better just in time to go to work.  DF went to urgent care today and he has bronchitis.  

Heyyyyy! 

I am sorry you were sick during your vacation, and that your DF is sick now. Ugh!

I am glad that you checked in though. Since you said you are feeling better now (just in time to go back to work….DAMMIT!), I hope your DF gets better soon. 

DF was sick on vacation as well.  I am sure he is the reason I am sick. Oh well.  

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 12, 2024 19:49:54 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 12, 2024 19:10:02 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Oh my employer would find out when the cops showed up. I'd be camped out in HR until then. I'd also be demanding an emergency no contact order be put in place. They can do them pretty much on the spot. I don't mess around with stuff like that anymore.

You would’ve handled things differently, but this is a young woman, working her first “real” job. I believe that in her mind, she was going to someone in authority, when she went to her boss.

And because I have actually dealt with men I worked with, thinking they could touch me inappropriately, I  understand that she might not have known exactly what to do, but support her at least reporting it. I didn’t report it when I was touched inappropriately, I told the offenders that if they didn’t want to have to explain to their wives why they got fired for sexual harassment, to leave me the fuck alone. And they did. But I didn’t make an official report, when in hindsight I probably should have, because they were predators and just moved on to other young women.

I am just saying that I’d rather not blame her for not handling it the way my older self or you would’ve handled it. We still live in a society where it takes courage for a woman to speak up about things like that. Imo, the fact that her bosses have not gotten back to her since the day she reported it, kind of proves my point about that. 

I wasn't blaming anyone for anything. Just saying what I would have done. But she should be encouraged to escalate this if her supervisor is doing nothing.

[Pink Cashmere]

Does anybody know what these are?


The plant and the green balls growing on it?  thought I’d ask here before I ask in a FB gardening group. I asked Siri, and she doesn’t know what they are. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 12, 2024 20:03:50 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 12, 2024 19:49:54 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

You would’ve handled things differently, but this is a young woman, working her first “real” job. I believe that in her mind, she was going to someone in authority, when she went to her boss.

And because I have actually dealt with men I worked with, thinking they could touch me inappropriately, I  understand that she might not have known exactly what to do, but support her at least reporting it. I didn’t report it when I was touched inappropriately, I told the offenders that if they didn’t want to have to explain to their wives why they got fired for sexual harassment, to leave me the fuck alone. And they did. But I didn’t make an official report, when in hindsight I probably should have, because they were predators and just moved on to other young women.

I am just saying that I’d rather not blame her for not handling it the way my older self or you would’ve handled it. We still live in a society where it takes courage for a woman to speak up about things like that. Imo, the fact that her bosses have not gotten back to her since the day she reported it, kind of proves my point about that. 

I wasn't blaming anyone for anything. Just saying what I would have done. But she should be encouraged to escalate this if her supervisor is doing nothing.

You are right, you weren’t blaming her. My bad if I made it seem like that.

[Opti]

Aug 12, 2024 20:30:02 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Does anybody know what these are?


The plant and the green balls growing on it?  thought I’d ask here before I ask in a FB gardening group. I asked Siri, and she doesn’t know what they are. 

Are these TN plants?