what are you doing right now?

[finnime]

Happy anniversary, Drama!

[finnime]

Any minute now I'm going to get up and finish loading up the car. DH will drive. Any minute.

[Opti]

Well not only did the disability money not drop, but its going to be a slog to get there. Since my employer is small the policy isn't even under our company name but something else. I need about 6 to 10 folders to file to have a handle on what are benefits are. Who do we call, what are we entitled to, etc. The only thing more complex than this might be the fact we now have a 401K and the vesting rules were approved as part of the merger. I took low pay and stability with a pension and instead got constant change and I think a 401K that might not vest for 5 years starting from some merger date.

Happy thoughts happy thoughts.

So the insurer does not have my care plan nor even the actual benefit plan the company selected back in Nov. to even start the underwriting process. So I need to work on seeing my doc hopefully virtually as I will be digging medical bill holes everywhere I go and returning work will not change that. Happy thought happy thoughts. So I need to see what I can accomplish because I want my rent paid when I agreed to without the late charge and I have stuff in the pipeline that must be paid by month end.

The weather is giving me some bad days and my one potential ride sometimes is currently in a world of hurt. At least I have some quarters so I can do a couple loads of laundry before month end. We were going to go to a food pantry I have gone to that he goes to but he had to cancel due to blood sugar, blood pressure and really bad sinuses. I have a massive sinus problem I woke up with as well, but luckily I don't have to spend most of the day in bed. Just limit my walking, do the hydration and don't fall on the stairs or fall outside in the rain.

Crap. Maybe I'll move this to EE. I'm tired and behind on everything and less than 3 hrs til 5PM. Need to apply for help with my gas & electric bill, just got a shutoff notice in the mail ...

I can't survive on half pay and the process to even get it will be more than a month unless I really push and yeah who am I kidding, a month is short for this place. And I also have to schedule labs, PT, and the bus rides I will need to do so.
I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Medical transport is mostly a 9 to 3:30PM thing.

[Opti]

Happy Anniversary DQ!

[Opti]

I also have a 5-gallon tank to clean so I can move Crestie there. He really could use a temperature gradient, so I need to clean that and set it up. Tempting to put the tank back now and take a bath or hot shower I did not do yet.

Think its been at least a week and a half now. Some improvement but not much, but makes sense given how close to the edge he was and remains. Need to Neti Pot and get him to drink some water.

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 9, 2024 13:49:45 GMT -5 Opti said:

Well not only did the disability money not drop, but its going to be a slog to get there. Since my employer is small the policy isn't even under our company name but something else. I need about 6 to 10 folders to file to have a handle on what are benefits are. Who do we call, what are we entitled to, etc. The only thing more complex than this might be the fact we now have a 401K and the vesting rules were approved as part of the merger. I took low pay and stability with a pension and instead got constant change and I think a 401K that might not vest for 5 years starting from some merger date.

Happy thoughts happy thoughts.

So the insurer does not have my care plan nor even the actual benefit plan the company selected back in Nov. to even start the underwriting process. So I need to work on seeing my doc hopefully virtually as I will be digging medical bill holes everywhere I go and returning work will not change that. Happy thought happy thoughts. So I need to see what I can accomplish because I want my rent paid when I agreed to without the late charge and I have stuff in the pipeline that must be paid by month end.

The weather is giving me some bad days and my one potential ride sometimes is currently in a world of hurt. At least I have some quarters so I can do a couple loads of laundry before month end. We were going to go to a food pantry I have gone to that he goes to but he had to cancel due to blood sugar, blood pressure and really bad sinuses. I have a massive sinus problem I woke up with as well, but luckily I don't have to spend most of the day in bed. Just limit my walking, do the hydration and don't fall on the stairs or fall outside in the rain.

Crap. Maybe I'll move this to EE. I'm tired and behind on everything and less than 3 hrs til 5PM. Need to apply for help with my gas & electric bill, just got a shutoff notice in the mail ...

I can't survive on half pay and the process to even get it will be more than a month unless I really push and yeah who am I kidding, a month is short for this place. And I also have to schedule labs, PT, and the bus rides I will need to do so.
I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Medical transport is mostly a 9 to 3:30PM thing.

I hope things get better for you soon.

[zibazinski]

I’m in N Carolina helping DD do rehab on her dog after hip surgery (the dogs.) I’ve already cleaned and cleaned out her refrigerator and pulled weeds. It got hot and I had enough. I bought and made dinner last night and tonight as well. We’re going to go over her credit card bill again. Of course 4 packages came for her today so part of the deal needs to be to actually stop spending money you don’t have.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Aug 9, 2024 12:13:19 GMT -5 Cheesy FL-Vol said:

Aug 9, 2024 9:08:23 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Infection can cause this in the elderly too.  My MIL had a UTI that caused similar symptoms. 

I appreciate the feedback on that! They did test for that and no infection there. She is definitely more cognizant today. 

I appreciate positive thoughts, prayers, and good juju.

Not the first time I had heard it, but the first time I observed it.  Infections in elderly mimic stroke symptoms too, and apparently UTIs are a common cause.

[toomuchreality]

weltz, I hope you are okay.
Thinking of you.

[andi9899]

Well I'm broke. $500 to take the twins to the vet. They both got a clean bill of health, so it was worth it.

[andi9899]

I also just signed the offer on the house, so I'm going to be in a lot of debt soon. So much for being debt free. It was fun while it lasted.

[Opti]

Aug 9, 2024 14:15:11 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 9, 2024 13:49:45 GMT -5 Opti said:

Well not only did the disability money not drop, but its going to be a slog to get there. Since my employer is small the policy isn't even under our company name but something else. I need about 6 to 10 folders to file to have a handle on what are benefits are. Who do we call, what are we entitled to, etc. The only thing more complex than this might be the fact we now have a 401K and the vesting rules were approved as part of the merger. I took low pay and stability with a pension and instead got constant change and I think a 401K that might not vest for 5 years starting from some merger date.

Happy thoughts happy thoughts.

So the insurer does not have my care plan nor even the actual benefit plan the company selected back in Nov. to even start the underwriting process. So I need to work on seeing my doc hopefully virtually as I will be digging medical bill holes everywhere I go and returning work will not change that. Happy thought happy thoughts. So I need to see what I can accomplish because I want my rent paid when I agreed to without the late charge and I have stuff in the pipeline that must be paid by month end.

The weather is giving me some bad days and my one potential ride sometimes is currently in a world of hurt. At least I have some quarters so I can do a couple loads of laundry before month end. We were going to go to a food pantry I have gone to that he goes to but he had to cancel due to blood sugar, blood pressure and really bad sinuses. I have a massive sinus problem I woke up with as well, but luckily I don't have to spend most of the day in bed. Just limit my walking, do the hydration and don't fall on the stairs or fall outside in the rain.

Crap. Maybe I'll move this to EE. I'm tired and behind on everything and less than 3 hrs til 5PM. Need to apply for help with my gas & electric bill, just got a shutoff notice in the mail ...

I can't survive on half pay and the process to even get it will be more than a month unless I really push and yeah who am I kidding, a month is short for this place. And I also have to schedule labs, PT, and the bus rides I will need to do so.
I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Medical transport is mostly a 9 to 3:30PM thing.

I hope things get better for you soon.

Me too. Kind of the worst combo of last year and 2017. Me and my friend think this is the worst it has been for either of us. And the new rates for electric and gas just went into effect as well. No surprise there either.

[seriousthistime]

Aug 9, 2024 15:29:41 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

weltz, I hope you are okay.
Thinking of you.

Yes, weltz. Check in and let us know how you are doing.

[daisylu]

Aug 9, 2024 1:54:38 GMT -5 Cheesy FL-Vol said:

Well don’t fully know what is going on with my mom yet.

She has been here for a couple of weeks to look at apartments. She drove herself up. 

Yesterday she got lost getting from an apartment appointment to her hotel. She was distressed enough and complaining of a really bad headache while on the phone with one of my brothers that he decided to call police. I am about 45 minutes from where she was. He was able to get location from her, but when I got there, her car was but she wasn’t.

Police had made the decision to send her to the ER. They took her immediately for CT to check for stroke, which looked okay. They also discovered her blood sugar was really low. They are doing EKG today and an MRI. Something is still not right mentally. Shortly before I left to head home, I watched her repeatedly trying to take her compression socks off and they had been take off hours ago.

How does one go from having full mental faculty to that in such a short time? 

I feel like something came along and stole my mom.

Hope you get answers soon. 

[Opti]

Tornado watch has been extended through tonight. Possible flooding through early morning and potential bad wind gusts.
Might go look briefly while the rain is light.

Rain might not stop before dark so perhaps no rollating for me and time to clean the fish tank.
I have an old fake rock that heats up from back when I had bearded dragons. Will find out if it still works if and when I
get the tank in some sort of shape. I'm hoping getting some heat into Crestie a little more regularly will help. Or I may let him stay in this pseudo light hibernation state until we get past more crappy weather. He still will lap up water and clean his eyes. Does not move much but seems in OK spirits when I handle him briefly (which brings up his body temp a bit).

His color is better overall and no angry neon yellow tail when I touch him unexpectedly.

[Opti]

Weltz, I hope you are OK. Check in when you can. I know weather in your area has been even more interesting than it has been here, which is saying something.

Hope you and your son remain healthy and safe. And live to post another day.
I'm going to have to say Virgil Showlion three times if we don't hear from you by early next week.

[Pink Cashmere]

I am in a mood today. Not really a bad mood, just not a happy one either.

Last night I had a couple of nightmares. One was me losing DS, but in the dream he was a little boy. In the dream, while I was grieving, somebody showed me a picture of him in an attempt to comfort me and I started crying like a baby, because he was gone. That was a horrible dream, and of course I had to call DS today and hear his voice and reassure myself that he was okay. I did not tell him about the dream.

Then I dreamed that me and my loved ones, including Mister, our children and other family members, were something like slaves, working on some contraption on a major street in the city, where we had to walk on concrete that hadn’t cured, to tamp it down or something. We couldn’t stop moving, because if we did, we’d get stuck to the concrete. There was another contraption alongside the one we were on, and people were stuffed into crates on that one, screaming in anguish from being sick and/or physically hurt. I couldn’t see them, because the crates were solid wood, but I knew they were black people. Not that that would be okay for any human. Those cries and screams and the image of those crates,  haunted me for a while even after I woke up.

Idk why I had such terrible dreams last night, I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary before I went to bed.

For most of my life, I dreamed every night and could remember my dreams the next day, and I had a few recurring dreams for as long as I could remember, until I sorted the meanings out when I was in my 30’s and going to counseling. Those recurring dreams stopped, after a dream where I was not so afraid and literally fought a bear in my dream, to protect a baby in my arms, that didn’t even belong to me. That would make more sense if I described the recurring dreams, but I’m trying not to make a long post even longer.

Even more weird, at some point before I figured the recurring dreams out, I discovered that my brother and I had similar recurring dreams about the house we lived in with my Mom when she married a crackhead. As crazy as it sounds, I know it’s true, because I mostly let my brother describe his dreams to me, and what he described was the exact same kind of stuff I’d been dreaming. So he couldn’t have been making it up, just going off of what I was saying, because I was intentionally letting him “go first”. 

So anyway, after figuring out the theme to most of my recurring dreams, for some years, I didn’t even dream anymore, or if I did, I didn’t remember my dreams the next morning. Over the last decade or so, I’ve started dreaming again sometimes, but not every night like I use to. And I’ve had a few recurring dreams that involve Mister, that I haven’t been able to figure out what they mean. They aren’t really about Mister, he is just with me in the dream. One is us moving into a house that I can see and describe very clearly, as if I’d been in it IRL. But I haven’t. It’s on a corner lot, and our backyard extends to the street behind us, so there is no house directly behind ours. It has a 2 car carport instead of a garage, and when you park in the carport, there is a half brick wall in front of the cars. The exterior of the house and everything around the carport is dark brown, and I don’t like how dark it is in the carport, even on a sunny day.  We bought the house from a very nice lady in her 60’s maybe, and she and her very nice daughter made sure to show us everything about the house, and came over a few times after we moved in, to pick up stuff she’d left. The interior of the house changes a little sometimes, but it’s a large house with a lot of rooms that I can’t keep track of and don’t know what to do with, and there is always family and friends in all of those rooms. It’s never just Mister and I home alone inside the house, even though I am alone in the dark carport sometimes, and feeling wary because it’s dark and creepy.

I have no idea why I keep dreaming about that house, or what my other new recurring dreams mean. But none of those dreams are scary or nightmares like I had last night.

I’d rather toss and turn all night and not sleep at all, than have those kind of nightmares. They were HORRIBLE. 

[bean29]

Sorry about your horrible dreams Pink.  Hopefully whatever is causing those dreams will go away soon.

[Pink Cashmere]

Writing about my dreams has creeped me out.

The dreams my brother and I had…. our Mom bought a house in a new subdivision outside the city limits when I was in high school, 10th or 11th grade. The sellers bought the house when it was first built, and sold it to my Mom a year later. Because it was outside the city limits, our back yard backed up to a property where the people had lived there for forever, and owned quite a bit of land. They had a pond in their property and had some cows. During summer, it was pretty funky from the cows. We couldn’t see their actual house from our backyard, but we would see the cows sometimes if they came near the fence along their property.

I was in 11th grade when she married the crackhead that she didn’t know at the time was a crackhead. They knew each other from way back when, and one day he saw my little brother outside my Grandmother’s house, and gave him his number and told him to tell our Mom to call him, and that is how they reconnected. After all the bullshit happened, my brother felt bad that he was part of how they reconnected, and I kept telling him that’s not on him, he is and was not ever at all responsible for what grown folks did.

That is a whole ‘nother story about my Mom’s crackhead husband, but the financial devastation from him taking her down through there, she never recovered from. He didn’t do anything she didn’t let him do, but I’m talking several tens of thousands of dollars lost, with no stone left unturned as far as whatever money she had. The job she’d worked since I was a baby had closed down, and she had several tens of thousands of dollars after the dust was settled. But the crackhead was running through all of her money, to the point that she checked me out of school one day when I was a senior in HS, to take me to her bank to put my name on her bank accounts, because she was chasing how he was cleaning out every account she had money in, and she wanted someone else on her bank accounts (me). She ended up working 2 full time jobs for a year or 2 in the aftermath.

Anyway, the recurring dream was that some big black animals that weren’t dogs, would pace back and forth in our backyard close to the house, and we could see them peering into the patio door, like they were trying to figure out how to get inside the house. The big black scary looking animals all had red eyes. 

My brother described them pacing and their appearance the same way I remembered them from my dreams, big and all black, with long fur, and more scary looking than dogs. And when he said they had red eyes, I was like “Oh SHIT”, because the ones in my dreams had red eyes too. 

Maybe we both ended up traumatized by things that happened when we lived in that house, that led us to have similar recurring dreams. Idk.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Just watched Gwen drive off with DH in my car for her first neighborhood driving lesson. She officially has her learner's permit.

I think I had a mini heart attack watching her cross G.

My baby is growing up!

[jerseygirl]

I’m so sorry you have such terrifying dreams Pink
Hoping your sleep will be calm tonight

[daisylu]

Watching breaking at the Olympics. 

[soupandstew]

Pink@pinkcashmere I'm sorry you are having these dreams.  I truly understand how disturbing it can be because I have some that are similar.  Many of my bad ones include my mother which is not cool, and things that aren't human (but they aren't always bad)  But I also have beautiful ones that are equally senseless, dreams where I can see the bottom of a crystal clear ocean filled with beautiful creatures or a forest so sparkling green it's as if it were made of crystal.  I hope the nights ahead are serene for you

[NancysSummerSip]

Aug 9, 2024 14:39:57 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I’m in N Carolina helping DD do rehab on her dog after hip surgery (the dogs.) I’ve already cleaned and cleaned out her refrigerator and pulled weeds. It got hot and I had enough. I bought and made dinner last night and tonight as well. We’re going to go over her credit card bill again. Of course 4 packages came for her today so part of the deal needs to be to actually stop spending money you don’t have.

Hiya Zib!!!!!!!!!! Long time, no see!

[Opti]

Last night I had a couple of nightmares. One was me losing DS, but in the dream he was a little boy. In the dream, while I was grieving, somebody showed me a picture of him in an attempt to comfort me and I started crying like a baby, because he was gone. That was a horrible dream, and of course I had to call DS today and hear his voice and reassure myself that he was okay. I did not tell him about the dream.

Then I dreamed that me and my loved ones, including Mister, our children and other family members, were something like slaves, working on some contraption on a major street in the city, where we had to walk on concrete that hadn’t cured, to tamp it down or something. We couldn’t stop moving, because if we did, we’d get stuck to the concrete. There was another contraption alongside the one we were on, and people were stuffed into crates on that one, screaming in anguish from being sick and/or physically hurt. I couldn’t see them, because the crates were solid wood, but I knew they were black people. Not that that would be okay for any human. Those cries and screams and the image of those crates, haunted me for a while even after I woke up.

Pink, do you think any of that has to do with this election and concerns if Trump/Vance win? With all the weird weather and this challenging campaign, it could be easy to be triggered.

Hopefully it was your subconscious working something out and you won't have to dream things like this again. I know for whatever reason this weather and my sinuses are having me go over old stuff years past and I do not know why. Feel like I am in reruns sometimes.

[andi9899]

I was driving earlier and happened to look over and my cousin was sitting at the same stop light I was. He was staring at me like a creep. Weirdo.

[andi9899]

Aug 9, 2024 17:14:25 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Just watched Gwen drive off with DH in my car for her first neighborhood driving lesson. She officially has her learner's permit.

I think I had a mini heart attack watching her cross G.

My baby is growing up!

Hope you don't end up on blood pressure meds. I'm surprised I didn't have a stroke several times.

[Opti]

Scary stuff on NJ12. Most of a complex in Edison, NJ was evacuated today. Per the news ceiling collapsed in two different apartments over two different days. With the weather outside I guess town officials did not want to deal with potential residents being crushed by their ceilings as one collapse they said occurred at 4AM.

That would freak me out to have to pack up and go elsewhere for at least a day or two. I think the local senior center was opened and the usual hotel rooms might be booked. Now I am wondering should I move Crestie or just keep him in the carry case. Think I am going to take a quick look outside as the rain has stopped or slowed down.

[Pink Cashmere]

So Mister and OD seem to be playing musical cars. She came over today in her car, and drove away in Mister’s Honda. 

He said today that she keeps asking to drive the Tahoe instead of taking his Honda. I’ve been driving for 40 years, starting a few years before I was old enough to get a driver’s license, and I learned to drive in big boat kind of cars. So I am confident that I can drive anything except maybe a commercial vehicle with a long trailer behind. And even with all of that, even though I do like driving it, the Tahoe is still a lot of vehicle for me. 

When we got home from going to pick up his Mustang, Mister said more than once that he was surprised with how I was rolling the Tahoe on the way back home. He got away from me several times, sometimes because he was driving faster than I was willing to drive, and sometimes because when we were rolling through traffic, I tightened up behind him to try to keep other vehicles from getting between us, but sometimes cars did get between us because the Tahoe needs room to stop if I have to hit the brakes, so I didn’t get as close to him as I would’ve in a lighter vehicle. I can ride a bumper with mere inches to spare in my car, but it is much lighter and more nimble than the Tahoe. I don’t play those kind of games in the Tahoe. It does not stop “on a dime”, it needs a few dollars worth of dimes before it stops moving.

I feel like handling the Tahoe like I did, with it being such a large and heavy vehicle, has to do with decades of past experience driving different kinds of vehicles, even though both of my current vehicles are tiny. 

OD has gotten tickets for speeding so fast in her car (which is actually a small SUV) that the tickets were for reckless driving. So I understand why Mister won’t let her drive the Tahoe.

She wanted to drive the Mustang when she first saw it, and got disgusted when she saw it was a stick shift. So far, Mister hasn’t said anything about teaching her to drive it. 

So now her car is parked in our driveway. I guess it didn’t run hot while she was driving it here. Mister says they are taking it to the shop Monday. She has his Honda again because she has some stuff she needs to do this weekend. I don’t really care, as long as my Honda and my Jeep aren’t options for her to drive.

I won’t be surprised if she ends up taking his Honda when they go back to college in a few weeks. I’ve only voiced that thought here, and I will revisit in a couple of weeks to say whether I’m right or not.

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 9, 2024 18:29:07 GMT -5 Opti said:

Last night I had a couple of nightmares. One was me losing DS, but in the dream he was a little boy. In the dream, while I was grieving, somebody showed me a picture of him in an attempt to comfort me and I started crying like a baby, because he was gone. That was a horrible dream, and of course I had to call DS today and hear his voice and reassure myself that he was okay. I did not tell him about the dream.

Then I dreamed that me and my loved ones, including Mister, our children and other family members, were something like slaves, working on some contraption on a major street in the city, where we had to walk on concrete that hadn’t cured, to tamp it down or something. We couldn’t stop moving, because if we did, we’d get stuck to the concrete. There was another contraption alongside the one we were on, and people were stuffed into crates on that one, screaming in anguish from being sick and/or physically hurt. I couldn’t see them, because the crates were solid wood, but I knew they were black people. Not that that would be okay for any human. Those cries and screams and the image of those crates, haunted me for a while even after I woke up.

Pink, do you think any of that has to do with this election and concerns if Trump/Vance win? With all the weird weather and this challenging campaign, it could be easy to be triggered.

Hopefully it was your subconscious working something out and you won't have to dream things like this again. I know for whatever reason this weather and my sinuses are having me go over old stuff years past and I do not know why. Feel like I am in reruns sometimes.

The slave dream could’ve been due to that. I am very, very concerned about our country’s future and what it may look like for me and mine. 

The nightmare about DS, I have no idea. It makes me emotional just remembering that I even dreamed something so horrible about my baby, so I am not willing to try to figure out what that particular nightmare might have been about.