Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 29, 2024 10:51:28 GMT -5
Mortification week on askamanager.org this morning is a fabulous break. I need to go over there, thanks for the reminder.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 29, 2024 10:53:02 GMT -5
I will say I'm not there yet so I think what I'm saying is hitting differently? I can and have done a lot for dh. I will continue to do that. (If I choose to) I will show up on my side and give emotionally and be vulnerable and do my work to not stay stuck in the past so that we actuallu have a chance at making a future together. Which is why time frames matter. But I can't do his work for him. It's bigger than me. I spent 12 years thinking love would fix everything. Then another 15 years trying everything else I could think of. But this is stuff from before I was around and he is the only person that can work on it. Rae, I think if you could clearly let DH know that this is where you are, and continue repeating, that might be all you can do. Does DH realize that he needs to work on this by himself and that you cannot make it happen for him? Did that sink in yet? Does he understand how important it is or he somehow thinks it’ll all blow over and it’ll go away so that you can continue as before? How honest and serious is he when he says he’s willing to work on it? We don’t need those answers, just something for you to think about? Would it be possible to address some of your questions in the next session with the therapist? As in, asking DH what would he like to hear from you or for you to do when he slides back into the undesirable behavior. And then, if he has suggestions, address how much of that you’re able to do. Or ask the therapist for suggestions. I would consider that the next time you find yourself in that situation, the most you’re able to do would be to just point out to him that you’re noticing he’s doing it again and that you will continue the discussion when he sorts that out and can talk without getting defensive as you’re not able to continue until he does. Basically, gently call him out on it, point it out and walk away. I am sorry you keep finding yourself in these situations and they’re not getting better yet. You are tired and worn out, understandably so. Wishing you all the best and sending all the hugs! He knows. This is part of our homework.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 29, 2024 10:53:07 GMT -5
It is, and also, it is not. Heavy then, rather than just depressing. These things need to be discussed, and addressed, but they’re not much fun Never are, sometimes you just have to slog through. I think one of my fridge magnets says something like If you are going through hell, keep going
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 29, 2024 10:59:34 GMT -5
It is, and also, it is not. Heavy then, rather than just depressing. These things need to be discussed, and addressed, but they’re not much fun Exactly. My BFF who I train with, work out with, craft with, etc is a therapist. And I want her to be able to stay solidly in the friend-zone when we're hanging out instead of putting on her work hat. But I'm a bummer these days. She knows why and is great about it but it's hard.
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mollyc
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Post by mollyc on Jul 29, 2024 11:04:20 GMT -5
I’m sorry everyone. I wish the best outcome for you all.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jul 29, 2024 11:17:29 GMT -5
Sutures are gone. Surgeon said it looks good and just how it should at this point. Return in early September. Countinue washing face with baby shampoo and put vaseline on my nose twice a day. I can handle this. Good to have sutures out How do you think it looks? Ok I hope
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mollyc
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Post by mollyc on Jul 29, 2024 11:18:34 GMT -5
Thursday morning, our male GS, Bear, ran back to DH with a coyote on his ass. Thursday night, we realized the coyote had gotten either a tooth or claw into his right butt cheek.
DH is good with wounds but there is still a small amount of bleeding. Bubba Bear has a vet appointment tomorrow. I’m sure it’s going to need internal stitches.
On a funnier note, DD and C are going to Las Vegas at the end of August. They get there a few days after C’s birthday and a couple of days before DD’s birthday. They are intending on getting married while there. DD was talking to DH yesterday. She told DH that C suggested getting married on her birthday. She said she told him, “Hell, no! It’s bad enough I have to share my birthday with an uncle and a cousin. I’m not sharing it with you too!”
You might need to know DD for that to be funny.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jul 29, 2024 12:05:49 GMT -5
I love modern times, sometimes. It's nice to be able to figure something out in 15 minutes. In the olden days, with paper card catalogs, it would have taken me more than 15 minutes to get to the right building. Absolutely! I used to spend a day in the library to find things on a subject. At the end, I could get the info I needed in an hour. Worst case was that we did not have access to electronic journals and I’d have to go to the med school library to xerox a hard copy from a journal. That might take 10 min max.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jul 29, 2024 12:19:09 GMT -5
Last week, the vet gave us 10 days of an NSAID for Harriet to try out. 6 days in and she seems to be moving so much easier, so need to call for more.
Dishwasher is dead, likely one of the 3 controller boards in it. TD has called a repair person, but wonder if it might just be better to replace. In the meantime, everything gets washed by hand.
Cooked and cleaned the 6 Dungeness crabs for dinner last night. I had to go online to find out how to clean them……I only knew how to eat them! They were soooo good. Hopefully local store has another sale on them.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 29, 2024 12:19:31 GMT -5
In other news. I got my yearly coupon for 10% off at the store I buy my good underthings at. I'll probably go ahead and use it, as I think I have one more bra to buy, and then I get another free. I shouldn't be spending more money. And, I think it makes sense to stock up while I can. Then hopefully I can get through the next two years with no underthing purchases.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jul 29, 2024 12:43:33 GMT -5
Last night was rough. I woke up about every 2 hours sweating like crazy and ended up drenched, then was cold. This happened at least 10 times but I went right back to sleep. Slept 13 hours overall. I'm still rather weak but better.
DD was coughing and I had pills for that for her and it helped so she could get some rest. At least she drank a bottle of gatorade and water as she needed fluids. When I woke up from the sweating I would tell her to go to the bathroom, so we made it through the night dry. I need to make up her bed.
So far this morning got trash service set up, will have cans Wednesday and bigger ones, YES! We also have a her? I guess I meant, which is good and I don't think there is any charge. Checked to make sure water service was switched and it was. The trash pickup is only $40 a month so that is good. And we have a garbage disposal, that has been years since we had one, so that will be handy.
And I ordered a duplicate title for the motorhome, as I couldn't find the other nor could hubs. I'm sure he has it though.
I had to bathe after last night and fix my hair, I looked wild. We are going to open bank accounts today and see if I can find where to change my Medicare supplement and drug coverage.
Hopefully this week I can start on DD's changes for Medicaid, that needs done.
It's nice to be able to do so much online.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jul 29, 2024 12:45:06 GMT -5
I am letting conditioner sit on my hair for a minute. I forced myself to shampoo it, hoping that if I look a little better I might feel a little better.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jul 29, 2024 12:52:22 GMT -5
Last night was rough. I woke up about every 2 hours sweating like crazy and ended up drenched, then was cold. This happened at least 10 times but I went right back to sleep. Slept 13 hours overall. I'm still rather weak but better. DD was coughing and I had pills for that for her and it helped so she could get some rest. At least she drank a bottle of gatorade and water as she needed fluids. When I woke up from the sweating I would tell her to go to the bathroom, so we made it through the night dry. I need to make up her bed. So far this morning got trash service set up, will have cans Wednesday and bigger ones, YES! We also have a her which is good and I don't think there is any charge. Checked to make sure water service was switched and it was. The trash pickup is only $40 a month so that is good. And we have a garbage disposal, that has been years since we had one, so that will be handy. And I ordered a duplicate title for the motorhome, as I couldn't find the other nor could hubs. I'm sure he has it though. I had to bathe after last night and fix my hair, I looked wild. We are going to open bank accounts today and see if I can find where to change my Medicare supplement and drug coverage.Hopefully this week I can start on DD's changes for Medicaid, that needs done. It's nice to be able to do so much online. Boomers Benefits Facebook group is fabulous. Might want to look into this, but you may not need to change your gap or prescription plan.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jul 29, 2024 13:14:27 GMT -5
We have had RSV vaccinations too, if its out there we get it,
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jul 29, 2024 13:16:09 GMT -5
My husband does not have to change his supplement but our broker said I had to change mine. And I think the drug too, but will double check. Thanks I will check them out.
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anciana
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Post by anciana on Jul 29, 2024 13:20:56 GMT -5
Depressed Jerseyguy is in hospital with Covid. He’s starting to feel better but in isolation. I tested negative but was with him in the ER for about 5 hrs DIL is having a hard time. She has 2 heart valves that were damaged by radiation for chest tumor. She’s waiting for approval to get one replaced but getting worse. She is such a sweetheart, smart and funny , but she and DSon have been dealing with her medical problems for most of their married lives I am so sorry to hear about all the health issues. Hoping for good outcomes for everyone and a lot less stress for you. Hugs
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 29, 2024 13:21:57 GMT -5
Sutures are gone. Surgeon said it looks good and just how it should at this point. Return in early September. Countinue washing face with baby shampoo and put vaseline on my nose twice a day. I can handle this. Good to have sutures out How do you think it looks? Ok I hope It feels better because that tightness from the sutures is gone. It's quite red and obvious there has been recent surgery but it doesn't look swollen like it did a week ago. They said it's still swollen around my eyes but it's nothing like last week when I could see my nose and both cheeks because they were so swollen. I am not shocked any more when I look in the mirror and don't want to burst in to tears. I don't go a lot of places in public but I will go to the places I normally go. Of course, those places are small businesses who have been through this journey with me. With the swelling down so much, I think I look better than I did with the sore oozing nose from the topical chemotherapy. That was ugly.
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anciana
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Post by anciana on Jul 29, 2024 13:22:56 GMT -5
Sutures are gone. Surgeon said it looks good and just how it should at this point. Return in early September. Countinue washing face with baby shampoo and put vaseline on my nose twice a day. I can handle this. Glad to hear you’re healing and everything is going the way it should. It’s still a way to full recovery but you definitely got this. Hang in there!
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 29, 2024 13:23:46 GMT -5
Good to have sutures out How do you think it looks? Ok I hope It feels better because that tightness from the sutures is gone. It's quite red and obvious there has been recent surgery but it doesn't look swollen like it did a week ago. They said it's still swollen around my eyes but it's nothing like last week when I could see my nose and both cheeks because they were so swollen. I am not shocked any more when I look in the mirror and don't want to burst in to tears. I don't go a lot of places in public but I will go to the places I normally go. Of course, those places are small businesses who have been through this journey with me. With the swelling down so much, I think I look better than I did with the sore oozing nose from the topical chemotherapy. That was ugly. Do you have wide brimmed hats you can wear like a sun hat when you go out? I'm glad it is healing and you are ready to go to some places again.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Jul 29, 2024 13:24:55 GMT -5
After lunch we went to Academy Sports so I could get a Houston Texans shirt to wear Thursday night for their 1st pre-season game. I wanted a long-sleeve one too, but all they had of those were Nike brand and I'm not paying $90 for a t-shirt with a swoosh.
I've always heard that Oofos are comfy and they had a display so I tried a pair on, and they were heavenly, but $74.99 for a pair of sandals I could only wear in the house is outside my financial comfort zone.
The Saharan dust is here which is good for holding off the new low headed this way but I just can't breathe
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 29, 2024 13:39:56 GMT -5
I am letting conditioner sit on my hair for a minute. I forced myself to shampoo it, hoping that if I look a little better I might feel a little better. I hope you do feel better either way. In the summer my hair dries out easily. When I have time, I like to just shampoo where it really needs it and then rinse. I next put conditioner on my hair for a minimum of ten minutes, thirty or more if I want to deep condition. Hence the time comment for the latter. Or if you can afford to, see if a salon will do a nice deep condition and whatever.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 29, 2024 14:07:39 GMT -5
After lunch we went to Academy Sports so I could get a Houston Texans shirt to wear Thursday night for their 1st pre-season game. I wanted a long-sleeve one too, but all they had of those were Nike brand and I'm not paying $90 for a t-shirt with a swoosh. I've always heard that Oofos are comfy and they had a display so I tried a pair on, and they were heavenly, but $74.99 for a pair of sandals I could only wear in the house is outside my financial comfort zone. The Saharan dust is here which is good for holding off the new low headed this way but I just can't breathe I bought Hoka slides this year because my preferred Skecher sandals do not come in wide. I wear my Hokas inside and outside too. Sorry to read about the dust. I am sure that is tough so be careful and maybe wear a mask when you are outside.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jul 29, 2024 14:23:39 GMT -5
Had a PET scan this morning. Much less nervous, last one 3 months ago showed no cancer. Will speak to oncologist Wednesday I stopped at a Greek diner when I was done and had moussaka. Delicious but huge so brought half home. Happy I was able to eat, last PET scan I threw up at home TheOtherMe happy you are improving. I had topical chemo on both arms ending about 3 weeks ago Still have red spots and peeling skin . Have had this before and should be fine in another 2-3 weeks Jerseyguy still in isolation but improving
So the sun is shining and not humid and I’m happy things are improving
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jul 29, 2024 14:29:59 GMT -5
Car ended up just being clogged somewhere so the fix fee was less than the diagnostic fee, since I had it fixed the diagnostic fee was waived.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Jul 29, 2024 14:35:02 GMT -5
Last night was rough. I woke up about every 2 hours sweating like crazy and ended up drenched, then was cold. This happened at least 10 times but I went right back to sleep. Slept 13 hours overall. I'm still rather weak but better. DD was coughing and I had pills for that for her and it helped so she could get some rest. At least she drank a bottle of gatorade and water as she needed fluids. When I woke up from the sweating I would tell her to go to the bathroom, so we made it through the night dry. I need to make up her bed. So far this morning got trash service set up, will have cans Wednesday and bigger ones, YES! We also have a her which is good and I don't think there is any charge. Checked to make sure water service was switched and it was. The trash pickup is only $40 a month so that is good. And we have a garbage disposal, that has been years since we had one, so that will be handy. And I ordered a duplicate title for the motorhome, as I couldn't find the other nor could hubs. I'm sure he has it though. I had to bathe after last night and fix my hair, I looked wild. We are going to open bank accounts today and see if I can find where to change my Medicare supplement and drug coverage. Hopefully this week I can start on DD's changes for Medicaid, that needs done. It's nice to be able to do so much online. I'm glad you're feeling better but you are possibly still quite contagious so I hope you mask up when running your errands. I'm almost afraid to ask but what does "having a her" mean?
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Jul 29, 2024 14:41:13 GMT -5
After lunch we went to Academy Sports so I could get a Houston Texans shirt to wear Thursday night for their 1st pre-season game. I wanted a long-sleeve one too, but all they had of those were Nike brand and I'm not paying $90 for a t-shirt with a swoosh. I've always heard that Oofos are comfy and they had a display so I tried a pair on, and they were heavenly, but $74.99 for a pair of sandals I could only wear in the house is outside my financial comfort zone. The Saharan dust is here which is good for holding off the new low headed this way but I just can't breathe I bought Hoka slides this year because my preferred Skecher sandals do not come in wide. I wear my Hokas inside and outside too. Sorry to read about the dust. I am sure that is tough so be careful and maybe wear a mask when you are outside. I worded it badly. The Oofos are safe for outdoor wear, but they are so, shall we say, unusual looking I would not be seen in them in public. The ones I tried were an iridescent pink/purple/blue and definitely not suitable for public wear by anyone my age. I do see them on teens and young women and they look great with trendy youthful clothes. I do wear Sketchers sandals publicly because they are conservatively styled.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 29, 2024 14:51:27 GMT -5
I am exhausted. Slept for 6 hours last night, too.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jul 29, 2024 15:15:58 GMT -5
I reread that post and I have no idea what having a her is? LOL! I think I meant we have a we can go to for no charge. We don't even have one in the county we are from in Indiana.
I'm thinking twice about going to a bank this afternoon, I don't want to get others sick. Though I might go to a Walgreens and get a COVID test. If I have it will test DD too. Yes, I'm afraid we are contagious. Son, popped in and said he wasn't staying with both of us sick, don't blame him.
Now I need to find out where to paint cans from the other house up here. There are a bunch. They have a place but sure there is a fee for that.
So off to research that.
I must be feeling better, I ate bacon and eggs. DD only wanted gatorade.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Jul 29, 2024 15:23:46 GMT -5
I reread that post and I have no idea what having a her is? LOL! I think I meant we have a we can go to for no charge. We don't even have one in the county we are from in Indiana. I'm thinking twice about going to a bank this afternoon, I don't want to get others sick. Though I might go to a Walgreens and get a COVID test. If I have it will test DD too. Yes, I'm afraid we are contagious. Son, popped in and said he wasn't staying with both of us sick, don't blame him. Now I need to find out where to paint cans from the other house up here. There are a bunch. They have a place but sure there is a fee for that. So off to research that. I must be feeling better, I ate bacon and eggs. DD only wanted gatorade. "Have one here" was my guess.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Jul 29, 2024 15:25:39 GMT -5
Back on family. My daughter wants to rent a big lodge for the family vacation at $1000 per night. 3 night minimum. 5 couples $600 for the 3 days. It sleeps 26. I found out the last time there was a lodge rented, only 2 families paid their share. From my count, there were 5 to 7 families there. IDK what the rate was on the lodge. (This is why I don't plan family vacations because everyone thinks it's a freebe.)
My idea was to pay when the couple signs up. This will be nearly one year in advance sooooo there will be complications for some signing up and not being able to attend. I also said, no refund unless after the refund amount allows the base rate is still covered. Then the problem of groceries. I suggested a main menu, one person shopping, everyone chips in. Taking turns cooking. If anyone has better ideas, I'm interested in hearing them. I'll ask my friend whose family does an annual thing. 3 of the younger people plan the who thing. The couples are told how much to pay upfront for the rooms then later for the food.
My sister has a grandchild that was born with a heart defect. He had 2 heart surgeries in yr 1, and will need another this yr. DS told me yesterday that they planned a getaway weekend with another couple with a similar aged child. The dad was sick, so they rented another airbnb so they were not all together breathing same air. Most people we know have credit cards. If you go for renting separate units, instead of one large unit, everyone can pay their own way. My DB pays for his family’s lodgings (I think). My husband says his DB ends up paying for everything if his family vacations together. His DB can’t afford it, my DB can. My BIL has one Child doing quite well, but DH says he is a tightwad and never pays for anything, and other child & spouse struggle more. Unless someone in the family is willing to foot the bill for everyone’s lodgings, I would choose somewhere where everyone can book their own accommodations. But this sounds like a wonderful reunion/family get together. We have done that. I put in my suggestion so we'll see.
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