Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 23, 2024 19:11:35 GMT -5
If I had not been working on myself since whenever I started going to counseling this last time, this deck thing would be a disaster by now. I’d either be a weepy, emotional mess, or I’d have punched Mister in the throat by now and started a war.
The money is an issue now, even though I gave him the estimate the day it was done, and asked him some days later if he wanted to have this person do it. He said yes, it was fine. I asked when he wanted to have it done, he told me the second week in June. This was all over a month ago, so nothing was a surprise, he knew how much it was going to cost and HE told ME when to schedule it. I even gave it an extra week, since now we are close to the end of June.
But now he’s having fits. When he first got started with a bad attitude, I just looked at him and said “get your shit together”. The next thing was an outburst about the money and the pressure being on him to pay for it by himself. I just listened and didn’t say anything at first, but I circled back to it about 20 minutes later, after I got my thoughts together to address what he’d said. Before I could say anything, he said he was just saying what he felt, doesn’t he get to do that. I said sure you do, but I also get to express my feelings about what you said, do I not?
Part of the outburst was him saying he was done with the deck, get Kiddo to help me get the stuff off of it. So when I circled back, I also told him that was ridiculous, he knew damn well Kiddo and I couldn’t get all that shit off the deck, because a lot of it is heavy. I didn’t say all the other stuff I actually thought about him saying that. Or mention that I’ve been asking him about it for days, so that it wouldn’t have to be done all in one day. So I just said that if he didn’t want to do it, I could ask the guy if he and his workers would do it for a few hundred extra dollars. Of course Mister didn’t like that idea, because MONEY, so he said he’d help get the stuff off the deck, and that was that.
So what I’m learning is to not get so upset about his bad attitudes and temper tantrums, and call him on his shit and address what needs to be addressed in a matter of fact, bottom line kind of way, instead of getting all emotional.
It looks like that is a much better way of handling those things, because I calmly made myself clear how I felt about the money stuff he brought up, and the stuff got moved off the deck, without me getting all bent out of shape and being upset myself.
All of this would’ve gone a totally different way if it was just last year. And I would’ve been all stressed out for a few days by now, my feelings would’ve been hurt, my shoulder would be hurting and my stomach would be acting a complete fool. My stomach did actually start hurting again when he had his outburst, and I took that as my signal to to address it, so that’s what I did. My stomach stopped hurting.
This is all new to me, handling things differently, but I like how it feels better to me, and I am actually proud of myself.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jun 23, 2024 19:18:28 GMT -5
If I had not been working on myself since whenever I started going to counseling this last time, this deck thing would be a disaster by now. I’d either be a weepy, emotional mess, or I’d have punched Mister in the throat by now and started a war. The money is an issue now, even though I gave him the estimate the day it was done, and asked him some days later if he wanted to have this person do it. He said yes, it was fine. I asked when he wanted to have it done, he told me the second week in June. This was all over a month ago, so nothing was a surprise, he knew how much it was going to cost and HE told ME when to schedule it. I even gave it an extra week, since now we are close to the end of June. But now he’s having fits. When he first got started with a bad attitude, I just looked at him and said “get your shit together”. The next thing was an outburst about the money and the pressure being on him to pay for it by himself. I just listened and didn’t say anything at first, but I circled back to it about 20 minutes later, after I got my thoughts together to address what he’d said. Before I could say anything, he said he was just saying what he felt, doesn’t he get to do that. I said sure you do, but I also get to express my feelings about what you said, do I not? Part of the outburst was him saying he was done with the deck, get Kiddo to help me get the stuff off of it. So when I circled back, I also told him that was ridiculous, he knew damn well Kiddo and I couldn’t get all that shit off the deck, because a lot of it is heavy. I didn’t say all the other stuff I actually thought about him saying that. Or mention that I’ve been asking him about it for days, so that it wouldn’t have to be done all in one day. So I just said that if he didn’t want to do it, I could ask the guy if he and his workers would do it for a few hundred extra dollars. Of course Mister didn’t like that idea, because MONEY, so he said he’d help get the stuff off the deck, and that was that. So what I’m learning is to not get so upset about his bad attitudes and temper tantrums, and call him on his shit and address what needs to be addressed in a matter of fact, bottom line kind of way, instead of getting all emotional. It looks like that is a much better way of handling those things, because I calmly made myself clear how I felt about the money stuff he brought up, and the stuff got moved off the deck, without me getting all bent out of shape and being upset myself. All of this would’ve gone a totally different way if it was just last year. And I would’ve been all stressed out for a few days by now, my feelings would’ve been hurt, my shoulder would be hurting and my stomach would be acting a complete fool. My stomach did actually start hurting again when he had his outburst, and I took that as my signal to to address it, so that’s what I did. My stomach stopped hurting. This is all new to me, handling things differently, but I like how it feels better to me, and I am actually proud of myself. Well played lady, well played
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jun 23, 2024 19:32:37 GMT -5
Never mind. That one has an HOA. It does look good though and compared to here that is a reasonable monthly HOA fee.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 23, 2024 19:36:04 GMT -5
Sick day today. I got dehydrated yesterday and didn't make up for it enough, so today felt like I had a bad hangover without drinking any alcohol. I've been forcing liquids including stuff with electrolytes so feel better, but not all better. I am weary. Next time I'm outside all day, I drink water and electrolyte drinks every hour. I learned my lesson at a Paul McCartney concert in Milwaukee several years ago now. Maybe 2010. It was over 100 degrees and the humidity was in the upper 90's. The stadium allowed people to bring in unopened water because they knew they could not keep up with the demand. People were being carted out on stretchers while I was in line to get in. I used up the water I had brought and the water I bought before they ran out before it was even half over. I was staying with my cousin and his partner, who was in his residency at Children's Hospital. I had planned to drive home the next day. The doctor said I will not let you drive. You have to hydrate before you drive a car. He wasn't wrong.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 23, 2024 19:38:09 GMT -5
Never mind. That one has an HOA. The HOA is only for snow and lawn care. It's not for insurance, maintenance of the outside of buildings, etc. according to what it says. I pay more than that a month over the year for snow and lawn care.
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Cheesy FL-Vol
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Post by Cheesy FL-Vol on Jun 23, 2024 19:59:05 GMT -5
I should be heading to bed. Instead, I am on the porch enjoying watching fireflies and a pair of deer in a field across the road.
Wishing a restful night to all of you. 😊
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Jun 23, 2024 20:00:29 GMT -5
Never mind. That one has an HOA. I'm not seeing a basement either. One of my friends is looking for a house in OK, and linked me to a site that sells above ground storm shelters. They were crazy small for the number of people that they claimed could be crammed inside.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 23, 2024 20:02:53 GMT -5
I think this last one is the best. It's only 6 years old so means everything meets all the new codes and well its just basically new. I love the price. We are buying a 20 years old modular for that price. I wish we could buy something like that in Olympia. Would cost us close to $550k or more. Good looking house.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 23, 2024 20:30:32 GMT -5
If I had not been working on myself since whenever I started going to counseling this last time, this deck thing would be a disaster by now. I’d either be a weepy, emotional mess, or I’d have punched Mister in the throat by now and started a war. The money is an issue now, even though I gave him the estimate the day it was done, and asked him some days later if he wanted to have this person do it. He said yes, it was fine. I asked when he wanted to have it done, he told me the second week in June. This was all over a month ago, so nothing was a surprise, he knew how much it was going to cost and HE told ME when to schedule it. I even gave it an extra week, since now we are close to the end of June. But now he’s having fits. When he first got started with a bad attitude, I just looked at him and said “get your shit together”. The next thing was an outburst about the money and the pressure being on him to pay for it by himself. I just listened and didn’t say anything at first, but I circled back to it about 20 minutes later, after I got my thoughts together to address what he’d said. Before I could say anything, he said he was just saying what he felt, doesn’t he get to do that. I said sure you do, but I also get to express my feelings about what you said, do I not? Part of the outburst was him saying he was done with the deck, get Kiddo to help me get the stuff off of it. So when I circled back, I also told him that was ridiculous, he knew damn well Kiddo and I couldn’t get all that shit off the deck, because a lot of it is heavy. I didn’t say all the other stuff I actually thought about him saying that. Or mention that I’ve been asking him about it for days, so that it wouldn’t have to be done all in one day. So I just said that if he didn’t want to do it, I could ask the guy if he and his workers would do it for a few hundred extra dollars. Of course Mister didn’t like that idea, because MONEY, so he said he’d help get the stuff off the deck, and that was that. So what I’m learning is to not get so upset about his bad attitudes and temper tantrums, and call him on his shit and address what needs to be addressed in a matter of fact, bottom line kind of way, instead of getting all emotional. It looks like that is a much better way of handling those things, because I calmly made myself clear how I felt about the money stuff he brought up, and the stuff got moved off the deck, without me getting all bent out of shape and being upset myself. All of this would’ve gone a totally different way if it was just last year. And I would’ve been all stressed out for a few days by now, my feelings would’ve been hurt, my shoulder would be hurting and my stomach would be acting a complete fool. My stomach did actually start hurting again when he had his outburst, and I took that as my signal to to address it, so that’s what I did. My stomach stopped hurting. This is all new to me, handling things differently, but I like how it feels better to me, and I am actually proud of myself. Well played lady, well played Thank you!
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 23, 2024 21:29:34 GMT -5
Hubs wants me to go to the ER. He thinks the bone that looks like it has slipped out of place sort of below the ankle, could cause me even more issues He said it isn't going to get better and could cause more issues or even break. Nothing is hurting worse than it ever has, I don't feel it at all. But then perhaps with some of the numbness in my feet now I'm just not feeling it.
Right now I can't do anything about it, as there is no one here to watch DD or help until he is back home. This makes you realize how isolated we are here. Hubs said just box and keep things I want and sit doing it. But I need to get so much out for this sale. I can't find my foot braces, I know I put them all together somewhere and back braces, now I have no idea where, I hate to buy another one. I think the tendons holding things in place that have been stretching for so long may be rupturing. I have no idea what they can do for it, they could do nothing before. I told him I will but need to make it through Saturday, as he will be home early next week. Likely take that long to get into someone anyway. And I will go buy another brace for it.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 23, 2024 21:59:56 GMT -5
Newbie seems to really like hanging outside with me in the evenings now. When I tell her to come outside with me, she gets all bouncy and runs to me. That means something because she is the most nonchalant dog ever. She is honestly the weirdest dog I’ve ever had. Anyway, when I bring her outside to be my “bodyguard” I encourage her to run around if she wants to before I tell her let’s relax, because she seems to only really come to life when she is outside. The only other times she is lively is mostly when food or treats are involved. That makes me sad for her, because I think it’s because living outside and surviving was all she knew before she came home with us, and while living indoors is more comfortable as I perceive it, being outside is really where she feels like she is in her comfort zone. Anyway again, when I started bringing her outside with me recently, even if she doesn’t run around like she is free to do when I tell her to go play, she always at least rolls around in the grass like this. And she would probably lounge there for forever if I didn’t eventually call her to come closer to me.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jun 23, 2024 22:53:12 GMT -5
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Jun 24, 2024 2:26:21 GMT -5
Good morning, emapathetic invisipeeps, garlic gourmands and fans of all things canine and feline. Welcome to Monday. I tried to make it Sunday but I got so damned depressed that I set my sights on Monday and I got myself undressed. I hope your day goes smoothly and that no one pees in your Cheerios. For me, I'm glad they still make Cheerios, although I haven't actually bought any since 30 yo DS was a toddler. I'm feeling much better now. That was rough yesterday. I hope your offer is accepted, andi9899 . I hope your sales go well, countrygirl2 . I hope the deck work proceeds quickly and the results are wonderful, Pink Cashmere . Stay safe, cooper88 . Because it was out of the question yesterday, I'll have a Monday sundae today. I took this picture very early Saturday when I just got to the beach. It's of the lights on the peninsula in the deep fog.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Jun 24, 2024 4:09:53 GMT -5
I don't think you will ever regret paying off a house. In most communities prices are rising on housing. If you sell that is cash in your pocket and married you can make $250k profit before any tax is owed. I would do it first also. Also meet the match in your 401k, but be careful going over. We are taking out $100k and paying $20k federal and $3300 tax for taxes, it is a requirement. So you really don't have the money you think you do. First time we have taken a chunk out, normally just RMD. I'm hoping we get some of it back, but who knows? I want to get our house sales done before the election, if Joe gets back in I think we will be ok. If the other one does, I look for the economy for working folks and retirees to tank. If he does some of the crap he is talking about, that was part of what caused the great depression to get worse and continue. So we are trying to anticipate. Hoping for the best, preparing for the worse also. I was so tired I couldn't crawl out of bed till noon. I'm cleaning the shed, partly because I don't have to go up and down stairs. I have all kinds of things out of it to sell. But I'm also going down and bringing stuff up. I don't know how good a sale will go over out here. Guess we will find out. Wish hubs had got the truck up here. But think he is going to do garage and tool sales as one separate sale from the house. I figure 3 sales, each 2 weeks apart. He is also hauling off a bunch of old metal stuff and selling it at the recycle place, he had been intending to do that. I don't know who is picking all this stuff up at the road, but I sure appreciate it. Things someone can likely use but I can't sell. Ok, back at it. Tomorrow morning dental cleanings, man will that feel good, we are past due. Next day cats get their shots up to date, so that's good too. I will have to get a certificate for Smoke to fly and get him some gabapentin to calm him, and hope I can get it down him. He will have to fly under the seat and I'mm afraid he will howl all the way. Hubs will take Tigger on one of his trips out, he is easier to handle. He wanted me to take him too, but I think he is to fat to fit under the seat very comfortably. And one is enough. Ok, back at it till I get to pooped to do anything else. No, it's $500k in profit before tax is owed for married filing jointly.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 24, 2024 5:47:33 GMT -5
You are correct, not thinking good today.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 24, 2024 6:01:53 GMT -5
Slept poorly last night. Hips hurt all night. Would wake up about every 2 hours and go back to sleep. No good rest that way. Anyway I gave up and am up for the day. Dental appointment at 10, then stop at bank, grab something to eat and home. Should be home around noon and back at it. Another table to take out, found it in my mower shed, will scrub it down. There is a box in there all tapped up, not sure what is in it, so will I open to see. I'm doing pretty good on it. We need to sell the weedeater and things but letting hubs do that with his stuff. There is some more things in there I can take out, like jumper cables, he said he has several sets of them.
Keeping some of his coats for son to try, won't take up much room.
My oh my, what an accumulation of stuff. Money spent for what, looking back now, wasteful, but nothing I can do about it now. Hubs says he has done the same and we can't change that now. But we can sure reduce it in the future. A lot of it was things bought for rentals and we would tuck them away and next time buy again as we would need something when there and cost more to drive back and get it then just get another item.
My arms are all beat up with blood bumps all over them. I don't know if there is something I could put on them to protect them or not. I see those sleeves they advertise but don't know if that would help. The rest of me is ok, just the arms.
Up and at it.
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ners
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Post by ners on Jun 24, 2024 6:06:39 GMT -5
Morning all. Eating breakfast and a bit behind schedule. Need to get moving for the day. Need to have a productive day at work.
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Jun 24, 2024 6:09:20 GMT -5
Getting ready for first day at new job.
Happy and nervous at the same time
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ners
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Post by ners on Jun 24, 2024 6:11:18 GMT -5
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Jun 24, 2024 6:59:56 GMT -5
Power blip this morning has thrown everything off. Have several reports that I need to sift through and nothing is working as it should. To add to that my manager decided Friday that I should attend an OS training in Austin Wednesday & Thursday of this week. A training that I asked him about the first week of the month when I was notified. Now I am scrambling to make travel plans and rearrange doctor appointments. I am also not very keen on leaving DH longer than necessary as he is supposed to start walking without the boot this week. So I am flying in late Tuesday night and flying home late Thursday night. Going to request Friday as a comp day, as IF everything goes to schedule I should get around 3AM.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Jun 24, 2024 7:31:37 GMT -5
I don't think you will ever regret paying off a house. In most communities prices are rising on housing. If you sell that is cash in your pocket and married you can make $250k profit before any tax is owed. I would do it first also. Also meet the match in your 401k, but be careful going over. We are taking out $100k and paying $20k federal and $3300 tax for taxes, it is a requirement. So you really don't have the money you think you do. First time we have taken a chunk out, normally just RMD. I'm hoping we get some of it back, but who knows? I want to get our house sales done before the election, if Joe gets back in I think we will be ok. If the other one does, I look for the economy for working folks and retirees to tank. If he does some of the crap he is talking about, that was part of what caused the great depression to get worse and continue. So we are trying to anticipate. Hoping for the best, preparing for the worse also. I was so tired I couldn't crawl out of bed till noon. I'm cleaning the shed, partly because I don't have to go up and down stairs. I have all kinds of things out of it to sell. But I'm also going down and bringing stuff up. I don't know how good a sale will go over out here. Guess we will find out. Wish hubs had got the truck up here. But think he is going to do garage and tool sales as one separate sale from the house. I figure 3 sales, each 2 weeks apart. He is also hauling off a bunch of old metal stuff and selling it at the recycle place, he had been intending to do that. I don't know who is picking all this stuff up at the road, but I sure appreciate it. Things someone can likely use but I can't sell. Ok, back at it. Tomorrow morning dental cleanings, man will that feel good, we are past due. Next day cats get their shots up to date, so that's good too. I will have to get a certificate for Smoke to fly and get him some gabapentin to calm him, and hope I can get it down him. He will have to fly under the seat and I'mm afraid he will howl all the way. Hubs will take Tigger on one of his trips out, he is easier to handle. He wanted me to take him too, but I think he is to fat to fit under the seat very comfortably. And one is enough. Ok, back at it till I get to pooped to do anything else. No, it's $500k in profit before tax is owed for married filing jointly.This makes me absurdly happy as, for some reason, I thought this exclusion had been eliminated. We'll have about $100,000 gain on the sale of our little place someday so I'm
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 24, 2024 7:53:09 GMT -5
I'm awake and functional. the pups have been fed, I'm logged in to work, and I've got a mug of coffee nicely in progress. yesterday was a long day, but filled with love, live music (close to home!!) and loved ones. my is fat today. here's hoping work doesn't piss me off too quickly today.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 24, 2024 8:10:31 GMT -5
All the hugs, finnime. With apologies to Franklin, I am sorry to hear that your Black Dog is still hanging around and hope it wanders off soon.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jun 24, 2024 8:12:16 GMT -5
Love a Monday sundae on Tuesday finneme! Enjoy
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Jun 24, 2024 8:26:51 GMT -5
Thanks, lurkyloo. That Black Dog will soon be whimpering in the far corner.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 24, 2024 8:29:20 GMT -5
No, it's $500k in profit before tax is owed for married filing jointly. This makes me absurdly happy as, for some reason, I thought this exclusion had been eliminated. We'll have about $100,000 gain on the sale of our little place someday so I'm Not only that, if a spouse dies and you need or want to sell your house, you have 2 years (from the date of their death) to do so and still claim th3 $50k exemption.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Jun 24, 2024 8:40:07 GMT -5
If I had not been working on myself since whenever I started going to counseling this last time, this deck thing would be a disaster by now. I’d either be a weepy, emotional mess, or I’d have punched Mister in the throat by now and started a war. The money is an issue now, even though I gave him the estimate the day it was done, and asked him some days later if he wanted to have this person do it. He said yes, it was fine. I asked when he wanted to have it done, he told me the second week in June. This was all over a month ago, so nothing was a surprise, he knew how much it was going to cost and HE told ME when to schedule it. I even gave it an extra week, since now we are close to the end of June. But now he’s having fits. When he first got started with a bad attitude, I just looked at him and said “get your shit together”. The next thing was an outburst about the money and the pressure being on him to pay for it by himself. I just listened and didn’t say anything at first, but I circled back to it about 20 minutes later, after I got my thoughts together to address what he’d said. Before I could say anything, he said he was just saying what he felt, doesn’t he get to do that. I said sure you do, but I also get to express my feelings about what you said, do I not? Part of the outburst was him saying he was done with the deck, get Kiddo to help me get the stuff off of it. So when I circled back, I also told him that was ridiculous, he knew damn well Kiddo and I couldn’t get all that shit off the deck, because a lot of it is heavy. I didn’t say all the other stuff I actually thought about him saying that. Or mention that I’ve been asking him about it for days, so that it wouldn’t have to be done all in one day. So I just said that if he didn’t want to do it, I could ask the guy if he and his workers would do it for a few hundred extra dollars. Of course Mister didn’t like that idea, because MONEY, so he said he’d help get the stuff off the deck, and that was that.
So what I’m learning is to not get so upset about his bad attitudes and temper tantrums, and call him on his shit and address what needs to be addressed in a matter of fact, bottom line kind of way, instead of getting all emotional. It looks like that is a much better way of handling those things, because I calmly made myself clear how I felt about the money stuff he brought up, and the stuff got moved off the deck, without me getting all bent out of shape and being upset myself. All of this would’ve gone a totally different way if it was just last year. And I would’ve been all stressed out for a few days by now, my feelings would’ve been hurt, my shoulder would be hurting and my stomach would be acting a complete fool. My stomach did actually start hurting again when he had his outburst, and I took that as my signal to to address it, so that’s what I did. My stomach stopped hurting. This is all new to me, handling things differently, but I like how it feels better to me, and I am actually proud of myself. I want to be you when I grow up. This is exactly what I need to learn to do, rather than reacting to the emotion in someone else's outburst. I am so glad you utilized this technique successfully and your stomach gave you immediate feedback on the success.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Jun 24, 2024 8:41:21 GMT -5
This makes me absurdly happy as, for some reason, I thought this exclusion had been eliminated. We'll have about $100,000 gain on the sale of our little place someday so I'm Not only that, if a spouse dies and you need or want to sell your house, you have 2 years (from the date of their death) to do so and still claim th3 $50k exemption. That is good information that I definitely did not know. Thank you!
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 21:04:44 GMT -5
Posts: 14,239
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1980e6
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jun 24, 2024 9:16:26 GMT -5
Power blip this morning has thrown everything off. Have several reports that I need to sift through and nothing is working as it should. To add to that my manager decided Friday that I should attend an OS training in Austin Wednesday & Thursday of this week. A training that I asked him about the first week of the month when I was notified. Now I am scrambling to make travel plans and rearrange doctor appointments. I am also not very keen on leaving DH longer than necessary as he is supposed to start walking without the boot this week. So I am flying in late Tuesday night and flying home late Thursday night. Going to request Friday as a comp day, as IF everything goes to schedule I should get around 3AM. Ugh.
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skeeter
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 22:06:35 GMT -5
Posts: 1,336
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Post by skeeter on Jun 24, 2024 9:23:38 GMT -5
Is that an Australian Shepherd? No matter the actual breed, he/she is a beauty and I hope you end up giving into your "gut feelings" and adopting him/her.
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