what are you doing right now?

[lurkyloo]

finnime that picture is incredible, even by your (very high) standards.

[busymom]

Unfotunately NomoreDramaQ1015 , you've stumbled into one of the toxic places of corporate America.  BTDT.  You could grovel, heck, you could wash the dirty dishes in the breakroom & pick up cigarette butts, but some places just don't move their good people up.  Good companies DO exist, but there are a lot of crappy ones out there too.  I cannot tell you that academia or even government jobs treat their people better, but my only recommendation is to see what else is out there, and leave.  Three companies I have left don't even exist anymore, and those businesses frankly deserved to die, based on how they treated their people.  (Yup, I sure could pick 'em...)  

[lurkyloo]

Last night I realized a. I should probably wear a dress to DS’ graduation/promotion tonight and b. I’ve gained enough weight that most of my existing dresses are not really suitable.  I do still have the one taz157 made everyone buy    That is a date night dress rather than kid graduation dress though, based on the amount of cleavage.  Amazon overnight delivery to the rescue, although I picked up a backup from tjmaxx too. 

www.amazon.com/GRACE-KARIN-Womens-Elegant-Pockets/dp/B0CNX36TNF?th=1

Pockets!

[lurkyloo]

Jun 10, 2024 9:32:23 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Okay so people who are in corporate America I need to know if I am crazy or not.

Apparently the fact I did not take that lab tech position is "proof" I am not interested in moving up because if I had been I should have eagerly taken a lateral move into their department based on the promise that "someday" I would be promoted.

Despite seeing ample evidence in BOTH my current department and theirs that this doesn't always happen.

To me it was like no this is not a good career move for me. I'd be taking several steps further down the ladder and you have made it clear the only time anyone is promoted is if there is an open position.  So I could be waiting YEARS washing your dishes to move up.

Or I can stay down in my current department which sucks but the director seems to want to develop me so I have been given opportunities to get out of my hovel and "prove" myself.

I gave them every opportunity to show me that they were actually interested in developing me, that they had a plan.  I laid out for them why I did not feel that this was the right position and they had every opportunity to counter offer me.  They did not.  I specifically asked them what does this roledo, how would I get opportunities and they said "Well you'd be mainly washing dishes/doing autoclaving but maybe after a few months we can get you started on tests like pH"

No.  No!  Absolutely not am I going so far down the ladder you need to train me on how to do pH!  Not when despite manager issues down here I am already primary on one test and I was being asked to consider doing HPLC work to demonstrate that I can walk the walk.

If I had been a fucking external candidate and turned that lab tech position down they wouldn't have likely said boo about it and forgotten all about me.

And NO I am not coming up there to do a job beneath me to learn shit I already know how to do.  You fucking said it yourself that my resume is PERFECT for your needs.  So why would I take a job below me?

Is that how corporate America works?  I have to go lower and lower before I can move upwards?  That I have to prove I can "hack it" as a peon to them despite the fact my resume has 14 years experience, two papers and I word for word was able to copy their SOPs into my resume because I've done it all already?

And if I am not willing to grovel and make lateral moves/lower moves this shows that I am a lazy unambitious human being who barely deserves the job she has?

Going back to if I was an external candidate not only would I have gotten an interview it sounds like I would have damn near been hired on the spot.  

Did I take the wrong colored pill or something?

Never get into a battle of wits with an unarmed company, or their HR/management,

They are making excuses and gaslighting you (I don’t use that word lightly).  Keep your head down and keep job hunting outside the company.

[swamp]

Jun 9, 2024 19:47:38 GMT -5 giramomma said:

So DD1 cleaned up the kitchen a little bit while we were gone.

Why do I feel so bad? I feel like a failure, like I should be on top of everything.

Which is silly, I know.

I'm already feeling badly about  work tomorrow.

she lives there too.  There is absolutely no reason why you should feel bad.  

I know, feelings are feelings and you can't stop them, but recognize that other people in the family also have an obligation to the rest of the members to contribute. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I am keeping my head down and I am going to work on my ability to grey rock people.  "Thank you I'll keep that in mind".  "Noted" "Okay fair enough".   If I can do it with toddlers I can do it with my manager and her minions. 

I think I did pretty good with when she asked if I had questions I just said "Nope" and walked out of the meeting.  There was nothing more to say and I wasn't going to lower myself.  Plus if I had actually opened my mouth I wouldn't have a job at all.

I walked out with my head held high and cried in the park 10 minutes later.  They don't need to see they got to me.  

[lurkyloo]

Jun 9, 2024 16:36:53 GMT -5 azucena said:

Jun 9, 2024 14:31:16 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

It was a pretty good collection-all the soda bases: sprite, coke, cherry coke, pepsi, dr pepper, ginger beer, plus gatorade, lemonade and fruit punch.  A ton of those little packets of Kool Aid flavor, the ones where you add the sugar, in various flavors-thought for sure I overbought but there are only about four left of 20-30.  Rose makes other syrups in addition to grenadine so I did strawberry and peach although I think blueberry was also an option. Small bottle of Torani vanilla. Ikea has syrups, I provided lingonberry and elderflower.  I previously provided fresh lemons and limes and a juicing thingy but those were ignored as clearly too healthy 

Last time I set out plastic measuring cups and cylinders , which were well used but they did fine this time when I forgot them.  I had clear disposable cups, normal size and shot glass size for tasting, and plastic gold flecked stir sticks. Also something to record their creations (last time little spiral notebooks, this time recipe cards) and they really enjoyed the star stamp I bought for ranking 

Did not acquire, and should have:  a plastic waterproof disposable tablecloth.  You’ll want paper towels at the ready too.

I hid the milk 

This sounds amazing and will prob copy your list for DD11s early Aug bday.

Hide the milk - I love it!!

One more tip: Super Walmart was surprisingly the most complete one-stop for specialty flavoring, compared to the grocery stores.  They had all the Rose’s and I think the Torani flavoring syrups and the most relevant Kool Aid packet flavors.  I ordered most of the non-food supplies on Amazon.  I hope they enjoy it, if you wind up doing it 

[swamp]

Jun 10, 2024 9:32:23 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Okay so people who are in corporate America I need to know if I am crazy or not.

Apparently the fact I did not take that lab tech position is "proof" I am not interested in moving up because if I had been I should have eagerly taken a lateral move into their department based on the promise that "someday" I would be promoted.

Despite seeing ample evidence in BOTH my current department and theirs that this doesn't always happen.

To me it was like no this is not a good career move for me. I'd be taking several steps further down the ladder and you have made it clear the only time anyone is promoted is if there is an open position.  So I could be waiting YEARS washing your dishes to move up.

Or I can stay down in my current department which sucks but the director seems to want to develop me so I have been given opportunities to get out of my hovel and "prove" myself.

I gave them every opportunity to show me that they were actually interested in developing me, that they had a plan.  I laid out for them why I did not feel that this was the right position and they had every opportunity to counter offer me.  They did not.  I specifically asked them what does this roledo, how would I get opportunities and they said "Well you'd be mainly washing dishes/doing autoclaving but maybe after a few months we can get you started on tests like pH"

No.  No!  Absolutely not am I going so far down the ladder you need to train me on how to do pH!  Not when despite manager issues down here I am already primary on one test and I was being asked to consider doing HPLC work to demonstrate that I can walk the walk.

If I had been a fucking external candidate and turned that lab tech position down they wouldn't have likely said boo about it and forgotten all about me.

And NO I am not coming up there to do a job beneath me to learn shit I already know how to do.  You fucking said it yourself that my resume is PERFECT for your needs.  So why would I take a job below me?

Is that how corporate America works?  I have to go lower and lower before I can move upwards?  That I have to prove I can "hack it" as a peon to them despite the fact my resume has 14 years experience, two papers and I word for word was able to copy their SOPs into my resume because I've done it all already?

And if I am not willing to grovel and make lateral moves/lower moves this shows that I am a lazy unambitious human being who barely deserves the job she has?

Going back to if I was an external candidate not only would I have gotten an interview it sounds like I would have damn near been hired on the spot.  

Did I take the wrong colored pill or something?

I have never worked in corporate america, so take what I have to say with a grain of salt. 

Your company sounds really fucking stupid. 

[azucena]

Jun 10, 2024 9:38:18 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Jun 10, 2024 9:36:48 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

Drama it’s a waste of time and aggravating you unnnecessarily to try to understand this people. Put your energy into finding a new position.

I know but I have also been wondering if maybe I can't hack it in corporate America.  Maybe I really am one of those people who should have continued to hide in the ivory tower of academics.

If I can't play the game I'm never going to win or even be able to stay on the board.  So I have been wondering if maybe I am the crazy one and this is just how the world operates?

I don't want to leave and end up in the same position or worse because it really IS me and my lack of understanding how the real world works.

ETA: Which this reminds me I need to look up how much is in our HSA and see if I can pay to reactive my therapy account.  Clearly I need it.

You can't win a game that has constantly changing rules. I don't think most corporate jobs are like that. 

One question to add to your interviewing list is to ask folks at your level about how promotions work and how often they've been promoted.

[azucena]

Jun 10, 2024 10:00:48 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Last night I realized a. I should probably wear a dress to DS’ graduation/promotion tonight and b. I’ve gained enough weight that most of my existing dresses are not really suitable.  I do still have the one taz157 made everyone buy    That is a date night dress rather than kid graduation dress though, based on the amount of cleavage.  Amazon overnight delivery to the rescue, although I picked up a backup from tjmaxx too. 

www.amazon.com/GRACE-KARIN-Womens-Elegant-Pockets/dp/B0CNX36TNF?th=1

Pockets!

Meh - wear what you want.

[soupandstew]

Jun 10, 2024 10:00:48 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Last night I realized a. I should probably wear a dress to DS’ graduation/promotion tonight and b. I’ve gained enough weight that most of my existing dresses are not really suitable.  I do still have the one taz157 made everyone buy    That is a date night dress rather than kid graduation dress though, based on the amount of cleavage.  Amazon overnight delivery to the rescue, although I picked up a backup from tjmaxx too. 

www.amazon.com/GRACE-KARIN-Womens-Elegant-Pockets/dp/B0CNX36TNF?th=1

Pockets!

I love this dress!

[taz157]

Jun 10, 2024 10:00:48 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Last night I realized a. I should probably wear a dress to DS’ graduation/promotion tonight and b. I’ve gained enough weight that most of my existing dresses are not really suitable.  I do still have the one taz157 made everyone buy    That is a date night dress rather than kid graduation dress though, based on the amount of cleavage.  Amazon overnight delivery to the rescue, although I picked up a backup from tjmaxx too. 

www.amazon.com/GRACE-KARIN-Womens-Elegant-Pockets/dp/B0CNX36TNF?th=1

Pockets!

Sad thing is I don’t remember what the dress looked like that I made everyone buy. 😔

Speaking of dresses, my boss is taking myself and the other managers in our department out to dinner tomorrow night. I shouldn’t wear jeans so I’ll be wearing a dress tomorrow. I have some so hopefully I’ll find something I really want to wear and can fit into. 😳

[soupandstew]

Made breakfast while DH vacuumed and paid bills, then I cleaned the kitchen and ran a load of laundry.  The bird feeders and baths are filled, and meat put down to thaw for tomorrow.  I'm staring at the last brokerage statement hoping it will reconcile itself.  It won't.  I'm gonna take a nap this afternoon so I can be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the meeting tonight as I have to present a committee report for the chair who was called out of town on business.  My stupid tank is pretty full so hoping I don't hurt anyone tonight.

[lurkyloo]

Jun 10, 2024 10:26:52 GMT -5 azucena said:

Jun 10, 2024 10:00:48 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Last night I realized a. I should probably wear a dress to DS’ graduation/promotion tonight and b. I’ve gained enough weight that most of my existing dresses are not really suitable.  I do still have the one taz157 made everyone buy    That is a date night dress rather than kid graduation dress though, based on the amount of cleavage.  Amazon overnight delivery to the rescue, although I picked up a backup from tjmaxx too. 

www.amazon.com/GRACE-KARIN-Womens-Elegant-Pockets/dp/B0CNX36TNF?th=1

Pockets!

Meh - wear what you want.

Oh, I am  

[finnime]

lurkyloo, thanks so much for the compliment on the picture.

And the dress looks lovely, graceful and with pockets, too!

[chen35]

Jun 10, 2024 9:32:23 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Okay so people who are in corporate America I need to know if I am crazy or not.

Apparently the fact I did not take that lab tech position is "proof" I am not interested in moving up because if I had been I should have eagerly taken a lateral move into their department based on the promise that "someday" I would be promoted.

Despite seeing ample evidence in BOTH my current department and theirs that this doesn't always happen.

To me it was like no this is not a good career move for me. I'd be taking several steps further down the ladder and you have made it clear the only time anyone is promoted is if there is an open position.  So I could be waiting YEARS washing your dishes to move up.

Or I can stay down in my current department which sucks but the director seems to want to develop me so I have been given opportunities to get out of my hovel and "prove" myself.

I gave them every opportunity to show me that they were actually interested in developing me, that they had a plan.  I laid out for them why I did not feel that this was the right position and they had every opportunity to counter offer me.  They did not.  I specifically asked them what does this roledo, how would I get opportunities and they said "Well you'd be mainly washing dishes/doing autoclaving but maybe after a few months we can get you started on tests like pH"

No.  No!  Absolutely not am I going so far down the ladder you need to train me on how to do pH!  Not when despite manager issues down here I am already primary on one test and I was being asked to consider doing HPLC work to demonstrate that I can walk the walk.

If I had been a fucking external candidate and turned that lab tech position down they wouldn't have likely said boo about it and forgotten all about me.

And NO I am not coming up there to do a job beneath me to learn shit I already know how to do.  You fucking said it yourself that my resume is PERFECT for your needs.  So why would I take a job below me?

Is that how corporate America works?  I have to go lower and lower before I can move upwards?  That I have to prove I can "hack it" as a peon to them despite the fact my resume has 14 years experience, two papers and I word for word was able to copy their SOPs into my resume because I've done it all already?

And if I am not willing to grovel and make lateral moves/lower moves this shows that I am a lazy unambitious human being who barely deserves the job she has?

Going back to if I was an external candidate not only would I have gotten an interview it sounds like I would have damn near been hired on the spot.  

Did I take the wrong colored pill or something?

IMO they are using that as an excuse. Either they don’t want to lose you where you are at or for whatever reason (maybe what your boss is saying to them) they don’t want to promote you. Unfortunately a toxic boss absolutely can ruin chances you have of advancement.
I know it’s easier said than done (I’m in a similar situation and it’s really wrecking my mental health, so I get it) but your best bet is to remind yourself that their opinion says more about them than it does you and start looking elsewhere.

[chen35]

Jun 10, 2024 10:00:48 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Last night I realized a. I should probably wear a dress to DS’ graduation/promotion tonight and b. I’ve gained enough weight that most of my existing dresses are not really suitable.  I do still have the one taz157 made everyone buy    That is a date night dress rather than kid graduation dress though, based on the amount of cleavage.  Amazon overnight delivery to the rescue, although I picked up a backup from tjmaxx too. 

www.amazon.com/GRACE-KARIN-Womens-Elegant-Pockets/dp/B0CNX36TNF?th=1

Pockets!

While I think you should wear what you want, that dress looks amazing. Has it come yet? Does it look like the picture?

[giramomma]

Drama- It's not just corporate america that has the shennanigans.

It's the public sector, too.

Because I'm going through the same.

There are other places in my employer that operates differently than what I'm experiencing now.

[lurkyloo]

Jun 10, 2024 10:29:32 GMT -5 taz157 said:

Jun 10, 2024 10:00:48 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Last night I realized a. I should probably wear a dress to DS’ graduation/promotion tonight and b. I’ve gained enough weight that most of my existing dresses are not really suitable.  I do still have the one taz157 made everyone buy    That is a date night dress rather than kid graduation dress though, based on the amount of cleavage.  Amazon overnight delivery to the rescue, although I picked up a backup from tjmaxx too. 

www.amazon.com/GRACE-KARIN-Womens-Elegant-Pockets/dp/B0CNX36TNF?th=1

Pockets!

Sad thing is I don’t remember what the dress looked like that I made everyone buy. 😔

Speaking of dresses, my boss is taking myself and the other managers in our department out to dinner tomorrow night. I shouldn’t wear jeans so I’ll be wearing a dress tomorrow. I have some so hopefully I’ll find something I really want to wear and can fit into. 😳

I hear Amazon does overnight delivery 

Sweetheart neckline, full knee-ish length skirt, little cap sleeves, stiff cotton material, little bit of a 40s vibe.  Mine is a really vibrant purple although I think red was the more popular color 

[lurkyloo]

Jun 10, 2024 10:58:19 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Jun 10, 2024 10:00:48 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Last night I realized a. I should probably wear a dress to DS’ graduation/promotion tonight and b. I’ve gained enough weight that most of my existing dresses are not really suitable.  I do still have the one taz157 made everyone buy    That is a date night dress rather than kid graduation dress though, based on the amount of cleavage.  Amazon overnight delivery to the rescue, although I picked up a backup from tjmaxx too. 

www.amazon.com/GRACE-KARIN-Womens-Elegant-Pockets/dp/B0CNX36TNF?th=1

Pockets!

While I think you should wear what you want, that dress looks amazing. Has it come yet? Does it look like the picture?

It did, and it mostly does, once you allow for the fact that I am a size 12 not a size 2.  Thanks!
I got gently scolded by my BFF for going with the blue rather than the green to match my eyes.  I’ll put that on the list for his HS graduation.    Although the pink is pretty too.

[daisylu]

Jun 10, 2024 10:00:48 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Last night I realized a. I should probably wear a dress to DS’ graduation/promotion tonight and b. I’ve gained enough weight that most of my existing dresses are not really suitable.  I do still have the one taz157 made everyone buy    That is a date night dress rather than kid graduation dress though, based on the amount of cleavage.  Amazon overnight delivery to the rescue, although I picked up a backup from tjmaxx too. 

www.amazon.com/GRACE-KARIN-Womens-Elegant-Pockets/dp/B0CNX36TNF?th=1

Pockets!

I recently ordered a couple of dresses from Amazon that had pockets. I   them! I will understand why clothing manufacturers do not recognize that women need pockets too!

Hope it looks as good as the photo and fits as expected!

[countrygirl2]

I think a big issue, is if they have a job filled and the person is doing what they want they just want to leave them there. Honestly, most aren't worrying about developing employees, they just want positions filled and the job done. Sounds like that is all yours wants so the only answer may be to leave.

Don't think there is anything you can do to change anything. Just try not to get fired before you get out. And yes its frustrating.

[lurkyloo]

It also touched off some drama bc most of my not-sneaker shoes are black and I prefer not to mix black with blue.  I have a pair of nude flats that have barely been worn, > 10 years old, and when I opened the box it was really bizarre. The soles were cracked and they were kind of dissolving?  Like, I tried wearing them to see if they fit and then I had to scrub sole-shaped goo off the floors bc they were sticky. Naturalizer brand, not cheap 

I’m going with the white low kitten heel ones that have rhinestones in the shape of a dragonfly over the toes instead 

[weltz]

Evidently, someone from Dayton, Ohio ordered an expensive iphone with my credit card they hacked from Amazon. I'm so sick of this. Just about everyone i know has been hacked, including my son.
Somehow, going to the store and paying cash seems better. Safer.

[saveinla]

As of my charges with Amazon - they had actually returned the money I paid for a product since it was supposedly fake and asked me to throw it away - it was a consumable and I am happy.

[andi9899]

Jun 10, 2024 9:32:23 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Okay so people who are in corporate America I need to know if I am crazy or not.

Apparently the fact I did not take that lab tech position is "proof" I am not interested in moving up because if I had been I should have eagerly taken a lateral move into their department based on the promise that "someday" I would be promoted.

Despite seeing ample evidence in BOTH my current department and theirs that this doesn't always happen.

To me it was like no this is not a good career move for me. I'd be taking several steps further down the ladder and you have made it clear the only time anyone is promoted is if there is an open position.  So I could be waiting YEARS washing your dishes to move up.

Or I can stay down in my current department which sucks but the director seems to want to develop me so I have been given opportunities to get out of my hovel and "prove" myself.

I gave them every opportunity to show me that they were actually interested in developing me, that they had a plan.  I laid out for them why I did not feel that this was the right position and they had every opportunity to counter offer me.  They did not.  I specifically asked them what does this roledo, how would I get opportunities and they said "Well you'd be mainly washing dishes/doing autoclaving but maybe after a few months we can get you started on tests like pH"

No.  No!  Absolutely not am I going so far down the ladder you need to train me on how to do pH!  Not when despite manager issues down here I am already primary on one test and I was being asked to consider doing HPLC work to demonstrate that I can walk the walk.

If I had been a fucking external candidate and turned that lab tech position down they wouldn't have likely said boo about it and forgotten all about me.

And NO I am not coming up there to do a job beneath me to learn shit I already know how to do.  You fucking said it yourself that my resume is PERFECT for your needs.  So why would I take a job below me?

Is that how corporate America works?  I have to go lower and lower before I can move upwards?  That I have to prove I can "hack it" as a peon to them despite the fact my resume has 14 years experience, two papers and I word for word was able to copy their SOPs into my resume because I've done it all already?

And if I am not willing to grovel and make lateral moves/lower moves this shows that I am a lazy unambitious human being who barely deserves the job she has?

Going back to if I was an external candidate not only would I have gotten an interview it sounds like I would have damn near been hired on the spot.  

Did I take the wrong colored pill or something?

Absolutely not. If someone ever said anything like that to me I'd be on my way out the door in a hot second.

Do you not get approached by recruiters on the regular? I get them all the time. Or does stem not work that way? I'd think they'd be all over your LinkedIn page with your resume being impressive.

[taz157]

Jun 10, 2024 11:03:08 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Jun 10, 2024 10:29:32 GMT -5 taz157 said:

Sad thing is I don’t remember what the dress looked like that I made everyone buy. 😔

Speaking of dresses, my boss is taking myself and the other managers in our department out to dinner tomorrow night. I shouldn’t wear jeans so I’ll be wearing a dress tomorrow. I have some so hopefully I’ll find something I really want to wear and can fit into. 😳

I hear Amazon does overnight delivery 

Sweetheart neckline, full knee-ish length skirt, little cap sleeves, stiff cotton material, little bit of a 40s vibe.  Mine is a really vibrant purple although I think red was the more popular color 

Thanks for the description. I remember now!! 😁

I actually bought that dress in a teal color, but I don’t fit into it yet. 😔

[busymom]

Jun 10, 2024 11:28:55 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

It also touched off some drama bc most of my not-sneaker shoes are black and I prefer not to mix black with blue.  I have a pair of nude flats that have barely been worn, > 10 years old, and when I opened the box it was really bizarre. The soles were cracked and they were kind of dissolving?  Like, I tried wearing them to see if they fit and then I had to scrub sole-shaped goo off the floors bc they were sticky. Naturalizer brand, not cheap 

I’m going with the white low kitten heel ones that have rhinestones in the shape of a dragonfly over the toes instead 

     I had some shoe & sandal drama while we lived in FL.  I don't know if it's the humidity, the heat or what, but some of my shoes were just destroyed while living there.  As in the soles or heels would crack completely through.  It's a bummer when you take a pair of sandals out of the closet, discover some large cracks, and KNOW that you hadn't done any damage to them, so into the garbage they went.  For some reason, my stuff lasts longer in the Midwest.  Who knew that 4 seasons of extreme weather is easier on shoes?  

[daisylu]

Jun 10, 2024 11:31:21 GMT -5 weltz said:

Evidently, someone from Dayton, Ohio ordered an expensive iphone with my credit card they hacked from Amazon. I'm so sick of this. Just about everyone i know has been hacked, including my son.
Somehow, going to the store and paying cash seems better. Safer.

Credit cards are usually quick to reverse charges. Carrying cash is not always safe either. And that is if you can even find a store that has what you need/want.

[lurkyloo]

Jun 10, 2024 12:21:15 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Jun 10, 2024 11:31:21 GMT -5 weltz said:

Evidently, someone from Dayton, Ohio ordered an expensive iphone with my credit card they hacked from Amazon. I'm so sick of this. Just about everyone i know has been hacked, including my son.
Somehow, going to the store and paying cash seems better. Safer.

Credit cards are usually quick to reverse charges. Carrying cash is not always safe either. And that is if you can even find a store that has what you need/want.

Yes, credit card getting hacked is almost a non-event bc they know it happens and in an obvious case they’ll generally reverse the charges right away, certainly before the bill is due.  Debit cards are a bigger pitfall because it’s your own money that was stolen and you need to catch the charges within a certain time frame to avoid ultimate liability.