countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Apr 25, 2024 20:15:48 GMT -5
I'm looking for it not on Amazon. I saw where on RX.com it was $435, or it was stated in a paragraph about it. But its supposed to be OTC, will dig further. I have some 5% lidocaine creme, it may be just as good.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Apr 25, 2024 20:39:19 GMT -5
Several years ago, I aggravated my wonky shoulder doing a normal part of my job at work. I went to an orthopedist on workman’s comp. He gave me a cream that was awesome. I had several large tubes of it. After I stopped seeing him, I Googled it and was shocked to learn that you can’t get a prescription for it, it was only available through an orthopedist on workman’s comp claims. I’d never heard of such. I had a coworker that was a runner and had issues with her knees. I gave her some of the cream and she said it worked miracles for her knees. She’d used IcyHot before, but said the cream I gave her worked a lot better for her. A year or so later she asked me “do you have any more of that creamy crack?” I was like WHAT?! Then she told me she meant the cream for her knees lol. I guess all I heard was “crack” and was looking at her crazy. I had to laugh at myself because of the way I reacted. I just went to see what the name of it is before I hit “Post”, it’s LidoPro. Idk if it is more easily obtained now. I have part of one tube left. Even though it’s old as hell, Mister has used it on his knees as recently as a couple of weeks ago and it has helped when nothing else he tried worked. This is what it contains…..essentially IcyHot with aspirin. Lidocaine — Topical Anesthetic Menthol — Topical Analgesic Capsaicin — Topical Analgesic Methyl Salicylate — Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug (NSAID) Looks like it should be available OTC. I just Googled it and admit I didn’t spend a lot of time on it, but it doesn’t seem to be available OTC. The website for LidoPro has a link to find a provider to try to get it. Drugs dot com says the price starts at $461 for 92 grams. I’m not saying that anybody should try to figure out how to get some. I am just sharing my experiences with it (it did help with my shoulder), and what someone who had used IcyHot before said about it. Since it worked so well for me, I looked into how I could get some more after I stopped going to that Doctor, and thought it was odd that (at that time) you could only get it the way I did. If you think it’s basically the same as IcyHot and IcyHot works just as well, that’s great.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Apr 25, 2024 20:44:36 GMT -5
I got that hot shower via my park sticker. My neighbors have offered me their homes, but, I hate to intrude.
Cold water shampoos are not the same as warm water shampoos, now you know.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Apr 25, 2024 20:54:51 GMT -5
Tomorrow, I am going to a laundrymat. It's been a while since I have read the magazines!!
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Apr 25, 2024 21:09:43 GMT -5
I got that hot shower via my park sticker. My neighbors have offered me their homes, but, I hate to intrude. Cold water shampoos are not the same as warm water shampoos, now you know. I am happy for you that you got to take a hot shower, even if it wasn’t in the comfort of your own home. I am a wuss and I can’t do cold showers. Period. When my water heater busted back in 2013, I was fortunate enough to be able to get it replaced the same day. One of the benefits of having a gas water heater was that when I had no power for several days due to bad storms, I could still at least take a decent shower, even if it was by candlelight. For some reason, this house had 2 water heaters at some point. One gas, one electric. Whichever one was not in current use, I think the electric one, was in the storage room when we first looked at the house. I hope I am correct in thinking that the one in use now is gas. My experience with my water heater failing and running rivers of water on the original hardwood floors in my 1960’s house, the cutoff valve on the water heater not working, and having to wait for the utility company to come shut the water off to the whole house, is not something I want to ever happen again. The utility company did arrive quickly, in about 15 minutes and after that, I bought the tool to be able to shut the water to the house myself if necessary. But while I was waiting, my nerves were very bad and I used every single towel I had in my house, and some bed linens, trying to soak up the water that was flowing out of the water heater, so it didn’t ruin my wood floors. Here, the water heater is in the attic. I am not a fan, because of the potential damage if it ever fails in the same way. And none of that has to do with you and your situation, I’m just rambling, so I will hush now.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Apr 25, 2024 21:29:52 GMT -5
I was just reading through my Will, damn, I understand some but not all. I found nothing about a trust not being established if DD was over 65 at time of my death. I need to propose that question to the attorney. That would be at my age 90. I wonder if I will make it to 90, still its a good question. These things sure leave our money basically in the hands of our son than his wife, makes me a bit nervous, but the alternative is you would lose it anyway. I am drowning in paperwork. I tried changing the bene on hubs 401k, and I knew I had to sign off on paperwork. It said you had to do it within 60 days of the change, but it did not retain the change. But then maybe it timed out, I will try it again this weekend. He also has to give approval verbally to change that, but that too is ok. I figured as much but I tried anyway. They will talk to me about most anything or used to, now sounds like they need permission of the account holder.I still have to change the bene on stock and I bonds after that one. I sure hope we are doing the right thing. If I don't get over being so tired I'm not going to be able to keep at it here and I sure need to. I think carrying this stuff upstairs is what is getting me. Taking off a day or two will help. DH had to put paperwork on file and confirm by recorded voice call that I am authorized to talk about his IRA account. Due to his hearing loss, I am permitted to give instructions for his RMD distribution, but he still has to do a recorded phone confirmation of those instructions. Fortunately, our trust did not involve changing his IRA or mine in any way, just our joint accounts. I think the rising incidence of fraud and elder abuse has made everyone tighten up the rules to protect their clients. You have my sympathy on having to change all those stocks and I-bonds over to digital AND change the beneficiary too. I was glad you said you hoped to simplify your banking and investments after you move. We consolidated some stuff when we set up the trust and that has helped reduce the amount of time I have to spend tracking stuff in Quicken and reconciling statements.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Apr 25, 2024 21:42:10 GMT -5
I got home from the community meeting/board meeting about 9 so not too bad. All I have to say is that if a person spends 15 minutes of a meeting loudly repeating uninformed stuff in support of a particular position AND THEN VOTES AGAINST THEIR OWN POSITION, they are only grandstanding. People with sincere convictions vote those convictions. I have far more respect for the one person who voted nay, than the fool who voted with the majority instead of her alleged conscience.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Apr 25, 2024 22:02:21 GMT -5
I’m going to get this off my chest, and then I’m going to bed.
I got so aggravated with my Mom today because she called me this morning, sounding pitiful, when she knew I should’ve been getting ready for work, which I was. She was pitiful because she needed a $72 prescription and was saying she was hungry and didn’t have any food, and she didn’t have any money. She said her body was going haywire because she didn’t have that med and she didn’t have any food to eat. I was trying to get out of the house to get to work, and I didn’t want to deal with that, so I told her I’d call her later.
Then she text me, saying *Pink* please help me. And that is when I got upset. This month, I’ve already bought her some stuff she needed, then I paid her high ass cell phone bill because of the craziness with her account. I didn’t even ask her to give me the money back for the stuff I bought for her, but she was supposed to pay me back for the cell phone bill, but that didn’t happen, so she’s already in my pockets this month, for a few hundred dollars.
I am still working on straightening out my own shit, due to lack of income from while I was going through my health issues. I can’t afford this shit with her.
Every fucking time I try to be a good daughter and answer her calls and stay in touch with her regularly, this is what it eventually comes to, me getting all bent out of shape because she wants more from me than I can freely give. I HATE that it’s like that.
This is just the short version of why I am so aggravated with her. For my own sense of self preservation, I am going back to not answering her calls. I am not happy about it, because who doesn’t want to talk to their Momma?! But I just can’t with her. My stomach is already telling me NOT!
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Apr 25, 2024 22:07:32 GMT -5
For the first time in a long time, giving up seems like the best course of action to take.
The last time I gave up, my coworker commented that I was so much more relaxed and easier to work with.
Yes, apathy seems to bring out the best in me, or at least others find it pleasing.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Apr 25, 2024 22:10:07 GMT -5
I’m going to get this off my chest, and then I’m going to bed. I got so aggravated with my Mom today because she called me this morning, sounding pitiful, when she knew I should’ve been getting ready for work, which I was. She was pitiful because she needed a $72 prescription and was saying she was hungry and didn’t have any food, and she didn’t have any money. She said her body was going haywire because she didn’t have that med and she didn’t have any food to eat. I was trying to get out of the house to get to work, and I didn’t want to deal with that, so I told her I’d call her later. Then she text me, saying *Pink* please help me. And that is when I got upset. This month, I’ve already bought her some stuff she needed, then I paid her high ass cell phone bill because of the craziness with her account. I didn’t even ask her to give me the money back for the stuff I bought for her, but she was supposed to pay me back for the cell phone bill, but that didn’t happen, so she’s already in my pockets this month, for a few hundred dollars. I am still working on straightening out my own shit, due to lack of income from while I was going through my health issues. I can’t afford this shit with her. Every fucking time I try to be a good daughter and answer her calls and stay in touch with her regularly, this is what it eventually comes to, me getting all bent out of shape because she wants more from me than I can freely give. I HATE that it’s like that. This is just the short version of why I am so aggravated with her. For my own sense of self preservation, I am going back to not answering her calls. I am not happy about it, because who doesn’t want to talk to their Momma?! But I just can’t with her. My stomach is already telling me NOT! I don't blame you. You need to take care of you first, or you won't be able to take care of anyone. As long as her behavior is the same, she'll take you down this road. No matter how much you try to make it different. Sorry about that.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Apr 25, 2024 23:09:02 GMT -5
I’m going to get this off my chest, and then I’m going to bed. I got so aggravated with my Mom today because she called me this morning, sounding pitiful, when she knew I should’ve been getting ready for work, which I was. She was pitiful because she needed a $72 prescription and was saying she was hungry and didn’t have any food, and she didn’t have any money. She said her body was going haywire because she didn’t have that med and she didn’t have any food to eat. I was trying to get out of the house to get to work, and I didn’t want to deal with that, so I told her I’d call her later. Then she text me, saying *Pink* please help me. And that is when I got upset. This month, I’ve already bought her some stuff she needed, then I paid her high ass cell phone bill because of the craziness with her account. I didn’t even ask her to give me the money back for the stuff I bought for her, but she was supposed to pay me back for the cell phone bill, but that didn’t happen, so she’s already in my pockets this month, for a few hundred dollars. I am still working on straightening out my own shit, due to lack of income from while I was going through my health issues. I can’t afford this shit with her. Every fucking time I try to be a good daughter and answer her calls and stay in touch with her regularly, this is what it eventually comes to, me getting all bent out of shape because she wants more from me than I can freely give. I HATE that it’s like that. This is just the short version of why I am so aggravated with her. For my own sense of self preservation, I am going back to not answering her calls. I am not happy about it, because who doesn’t want to talk to their Momma?! But I just can’t with her. My stomach is already telling me NOT! I don't blame you. You need to take care of you first, or you won't be able to take care of anyone. As long as her behavior is the same, she'll take you down this road. No matter how much you try to make it different. Sorry about that. I didn’t know until this afternoon that my Mom had called my cousin (my Aunt’s oldest daughter) at 6am this morning, before she called me, whining about not having anything to eat. My cousin took my Mom some food from her freezer, refrigerator, and pantry and told my daughter that she wasn’t bringing my Mom any food any more, because she is playing games. Idk if my Mom got smart with her and said something crazy, which she will do even when she is asking you to do something for her or you are in the process of doing something for her, but I’m not mad at my cousin for saying she is done. My whole family is upset with my Mom, and have been for some years, for a few valid reasons. It is just very hard to deny somebody when they are whining and crying about being hungry, even a stranger, but especially when it’s someone you care about. And as much as my Mom upsets everybody’s nerves, people do still care about her. My Mom still has not told me my cousin brought her some food. It’s a whole lot of shit that happened today with her, that upset my nerves. I’d have to write a short book to tell all of it. But just to show how things work sometimes, soon after I got to work this morning, I told my coworker who I talk to a lot about life stuff in general, that I needed some recommendations for Podcasts since he listens to a lot of them. He told me to get out my phone and find a specific video on YouTube to listen to, and we agreed that we’d get together later during the workday when we both had a minute to talk, for him to share Podcasts. I walked away with the YouTube video open in a tab on my phone, and ended up listening to it after my nerves got really upset. And lo and behold, it was someone speaking about emotional manipulation and how when we say somebody made us feel some kind of negative way, that is giving someone else more power over ourselves than the choices we can always make about how we think and behave, regardless of external stuff…. what is happening in our world and what other people are doing or how they are acting. Talk about timing! My nerves were upset, only because I allowed them to be upset. Even while I was upset and stressed because my Mom was trying to demand that I do some shit to fix her situation NOW, my brain kept repeating what she said a million times when I was growing up…. “Your failure to plan, does not constitute an emergency on my part”. I did refuse to jump when she was trying to make me jump, but I still could not manage to repeat the words I’ve heard her say a million times, back to her today. I took to heart what the speaker in the video was saying, but as soon as I would calm myself down, because it really IS on me that I react the way that I do, my Mom would upset my nerves again and I’d have to start over. That was my whole freaking day. I use to deal with a man that use to say “you’re angry because you want to be angry” and that use to make me so mad I wanted to knock his head off his shoulders. He only said it when I was already upset with him, so that was like adding fuel to the fire. Idk if he was trying to tell me something worthwhile, or just being an asshole, but some years later, I started to understand a little of what that meant….. that I get to choose how I react to stuff. Anyway, I’m going to sleep now. Goodnight!
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Apr 26, 2024 2:46:46 GMT -5
Good morning, feeling invisipeeps, responding to pain physical and psychological. Welcome to Friday. I hope your day is both easy and productive, and that no friction develops to impede your progress. I hope it's a great day for you. Yesterday I finally finished putting together the deck glider chair. It works great! ANd DH's shoulder and arm are much better. I dug up a travel neck pillow we have and it helps where the stenosis is pinching his nerve. When we were leaving the beach late yesterday he decided he wanted a banana split, and that's something I'm always happy to share. So we did. Franklin the Dog got a pup cup. Today is going to be very busy and end with loading the car so we can leave at 6 tomorrow morning. Yesterday was cold in the morning, in the low 30's as it is now, and windy. I was not expecting much of anything at the beach. Then I saw a Great Blue Heron breakfasting:
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 26, 2024 6:22:59 GMT -5
This is what it contains…..essentially IcyHot with aspirin. Lidocaine — Topical Anesthetic Menthol — Topical Analgesic Capsaicin — Topical Analgesic Methyl Salicylate — Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug (NSAID) Looks like it should be available OTC. I just Googled it and admit I didn’t spend a lot of time on it, but it doesn’t seem to be available OTC. The website for LidoPro has a link to find a provider to try to get it. Drugs dot com says the price starts at $461 for 92 grams. I’m not saying that anybody should try to figure out how to get some. I am just sharing my experiences with it (it did help with my shoulder), and what someone who had used IcyHot before said about it. Since it worked so well for me, I looked into how I could get some more after I stopped going to that Doctor, and thought it was odd that (at that time) you could only get it the way I did. If you think it’s basically the same as IcyHot and IcyHot works just as well, that’s great. It looks like it has been discontinued.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 26, 2024 6:59:28 GMT -5
For the first time in a long time, giving up seems like the best course of action to take. The last time I gave up, my coworker commented that I was so much more relaxed and easier to work with. Yes, apathy seems to bring out the best in me, or at least others find it pleasing. Same. I'll keep my head down, play the game and use the energy I was spending caring and thinking I was progressing to see if I can find a different job. I'm never going to be promoted with her as my manager. Things aren't going to change culture wise their solution is more potlucks I'm out. If I get another job I'm considering telling them in the exit interview I'm doing them a favor by leaving. Nobody want such a shifty employee. Now they can hire a competent person.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Apr 26, 2024 7:02:47 GMT -5
Did I mention that I cut off mom & DSis? And now my brother. DD texted last night that she and DB, who will not speak on the phone, were text arguing about him changing their plans, adding other people, and unilaterally making decisions for her without her input and consent. Now she does not want to go at all and DB is trying to make her feel guilty because he spent $. She thinks she should pay him if she does not go. F*ck that. He changed their agreement without consulting her, she does not owe anyone a f*cking thing. I will add that DD is now 25YO. Her therapy has her working on being an adult and they are treating her like a small child. DD was upset by it but said she can't even cry - she just feels empty. Mama bear made a resurgence. I am used to them negating my feelings, that is the way it has always been and I actually came to terms with it, but I will not allow them to treat DD (who has a known mental health issue) like that. Sent all 3 of them screenshots of DD saying she feels empty, explaining that this is what I wanted to avoid with a simple convo. I am only concerned about my child. As expected, DSis made it all about her. Mom and DSis can have their dysfunctional relationship, but I refuse to engage. I will continue to advocate for my kid and let it be known that if it is not about the kids I do not want to hear it. I also let DSis know that I heard all of the hateful things she said about me. I still DNGAF. My priority is my child. Mom is staying silent, as expected. She can not handle confrontation and besides that she will she always side with DSis because DSis needs (read:uses) mom for childcare. Mom needs to be needed and DSis knows that and abuses it and mom will never argue against DSis because she is afraid DSis will withhold the kids from her - never mind that won't happen because DSis will never pay for child care. I am ready to move to a deserted island, far away from anything to do with people. I am sorry you are having problems with your family, but glad you are standing up for your daughter. It was kind of difficult for my daughter to figure out how to set boundaries with older family members when she was in her early 20’s. I tried to help her with it, by telling her it was okay to set boundaries and even say no. She really struggled with saying no to my Mom who would basically bully her and ignore my daughter’s no when she was being unreasonable with what she wanted from my daughter. Mom would get a call from me when she would do that to my daughter. My daughter’s struggle was that it’s her Grandmother and we were raised to respect and honor our grandparents, but my Mom is not a normal grandparent. For example, she would literally try to bully my daughter into feeding her, even if that meant my daughter couldn’t feed her children. Then my daughter would be so upset that she was in tears because her Grandmother was saying she was soooo hungry and DD genuinely didn’t have enough to share, but my Mom would still be relentless in trying to make my daughter just give her whatever she had. I don’t think I cussed when I would intervene and get in my Mom’s ass about that, and tell her to leave my daughter alone, it’s not DD’s responsibility to feed her, but I probably did raise my voice. Because WHO TF DOES THAT?! My daughter is in her early 30’s now, and some family members and friends of the family will STILL try to “little girl” her. When they go too far, she has no problem now, letting them know that she is not a child anymore, but a grown ass woman. So far, the times that I know of that she has had to speak up and make that clear, the person really was out of line and trying to talk to or treat her like she was a child who had to just take whatever they dished out. Not that I think children should be treated like that either. So I get it, what you are saying they are doing to your daughter, treating her like a young child, while she is working on learning to adult well. And through therapy at that. It is not as extreme as my Mom, I’m sure, and more like how other relatives have tried to handle my daughter. I understand why that is bringing the Momma Bear out in you, so good job Mom, for standing up for her with the family until she figures out how to do it for herself. Thank you. It has not gone that far with my mom, but she is also a master manipulator - you don't see it when it is happening, but when you see her do it to someone else the light bulb goes off.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 26, 2024 7:06:04 GMT -5
I think I have a sinus infection. My throat hurts really bad and I'm very stuffed up.
It's so bad I had a sore throat in all my dreams.
I chugged some Dayquil.
I'm going back to bed for a bit after the kids are at school. DH is at his dad's so they piled in bed with me.
Then it stormed last night so Charlotte insisted on climbing into our bed.
2 kids and 2 dogs in a queen bed. I had a space the size of a postage stamp.
I'm exhausted.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Apr 26, 2024 7:14:51 GMT -5
I’m going to get this off my chest, and then I’m going to bed. I got so aggravated with my Mom today because she called me this morning, sounding pitiful, when she knew I should’ve been getting ready for work, which I was. She was pitiful because she needed a $72 prescription and was saying she was hungry and didn’t have any food, and she didn’t have any money. She said her body was going haywire because she didn’t have that med and she didn’t have any food to eat. I was trying to get out of the house to get to work, and I didn’t want to deal with that, so I told her I’d call her later. Then she text me, saying *Pink* please help me. And that is when I got upset. This month, I’ve already bought her some stuff she needed, then I paid her high ass cell phone bill because of the craziness with her account. I didn’t even ask her to give me the money back for the stuff I bought for her, but she was supposed to pay me back for the cell phone bill, but that didn’t happen, so she’s already in my pockets this month, for a few hundred dollars. I am still working on straightening out my own shit, due to lack of income from while I was going through my health issues. I can’t afford this shit with her. Every fucking time I try to be a good daughter and answer her calls and stay in touch with her regularly, this is what it eventually comes to, me getting all bent out of shape because she wants more from me than I can freely give. I HATE that it’s like that. This is just the short version of why I am so aggravated with her. For my own sense of self preservation, I am going back to not answering her calls. I am not happy about it, because who doesn’t want to talk to their Momma?! But I just can’t with her. My stomach is already telling me NOT!I feel this. I have eaten a Slim Jim, a sliver of sharp cheese, and 5 saltine crackers this week - and my stomach has had me up 3 nights this week trying to throw up things that do not exist because of my stress. A big reason why I said no more with regards to my mom.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Apr 26, 2024 7:15:32 GMT -5
For the first time in a long time, giving up seems like the best course of action to take. The last time I gave up, my coworker commented that I was so much more relaxed and easier to work with. Yes, apathy seems to bring out the best in me, or at least others find it pleasing. Same. I'll keep my head down, play the game and use the energy I was spending caring and thinking I was progressing to see if I can find a different job. I'm never going to be promoted with her as my manager. Things aren't going to change culture wise their solution is more potlucks I'm out. If I get another job I'm considering telling them in the exit interview I'm doing them a favor by leaving. Nobody want such a shifty employee. Now they can hire a competent person. Well, unfortunately, with some sleep, I am not quite there yet. I should tell you what happened, though. DH and I started talking about me retraining. I set this summer as an arbitrary timeline to see how things are unfolding. Turns out, the answer made itself known with some certainty. Anyway, I have his full support. Which, which I have to say is pretty awesome. It's probably too late to start looking at programs for Fall. I think Spring is pretty doable, though.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Apr 26, 2024 7:41:29 GMT -5
Pink - you're right to cut her off again to preserve your own sanity. Even if I couldn't tell that from your posts, you should take heed that other family members are also going back to not answering her. Multiple other family members it sounds like. That many people can't be wrong. Something is truly broken about her and it's not on you to fix it.
And the fact is that someone gave her the food she claimed she needed and yet she was still telling her sob story to whomever would give her attention.
I cut my dad off for several years during college and afterwards because he made everything all about him and never, ever gave me any support much less emotional support. When I carefully let him back into my life, I had to stick with hard boundaries and easy topics. He was always interested in my work so it became easy enough to call him when I was travelling or when I won a big project. If he veered back into mistreating me, I'd quickly end the conversation.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Apr 26, 2024 9:07:50 GMT -5
Wow, I may have had some issues with being poor growing up and was ready to leave home, but never anything like that. I had no needy relatives, we were likely the poor ones and my parents were to proud to ask for help. They wouldn't have gotten it anyway. And our son has never asked us for help, is why we willingly give to him.
And hubs family there was no one asking for help. So I can't even imagine.
But I feel so sorry for those of you dealing with such. It would tear you up having people ask for food. But what do they do with the money they have? And I would have trouble paying someones cellphone bill. Can your mom go to the church and ask for help or do they have her number too?
I agree that walking away would be the best thing. You don't need others dragging you down. You are already paying for the house your mom lives in and how many other people live there?
Well, hope you have peace today, that is emotional and hard stuff to deal with.
I went to bed earlier, I did wake up 3 or 4 times but went back to sleep, so I feel a bit more rested. DD and I went to the local eatery and had breakfast and I'm getting us Subway on the way up to Indi. Have the tile mopped except for our bathroom and am going to do that soon as I get up. It's not very dirty. And will do a quick vac. Going to take a nap before I go, so should be fine. I don't have to leave till 4.
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lurkyloo
Junior Associate
“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Apr 26, 2024 9:09:51 GMT -5
Pink - you're right to cut her off again to preserve your own sanity. Even if I couldn't tell that from your posts, you should take heed that other family members are also going back to not answering her. Multiple other family members it sounds like. That many people can't be wrong. Something is truly broken about her and it's not on you to fix it. And the fact is that someone gave her the food she claimed she needed and yet she was still telling her sob story to whomever would give her attention. I cut my dad off for several years during college and afterwards because he made everything all about him and never, ever gave me any support much less emotional support. When I carefully let him back into my life, I had to stick with hard boundaries and easy topics. He was always interested in my work so it became easy enough to call him when I was travelling or when I won a big project. If he veered back into mistreating me, I'd quickly end the conversation. It’s so exhausting to deal with people like this. Like, you can never ever relax and bond because you always have to be vigilant about boundaries. I admire that you were able to rebuild this relationship.
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lurkyloo
Junior Associate
“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Apr 26, 2024 9:12:03 GMT -5
Holy sh!t, the #relationshipgoals neighbors are divorcing. I‘m sad for them…had been thinking I hadn’t talked to either of them in a while.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Apr 26, 2024 9:46:07 GMT -5
It's not just Uber. My grandma couldn't get grocery delivery, meals on wheels, home health aids. My parents had Meals on Wheels where they lived. That isn't available to me. I have had home health aids paid for by Medicare so I know I have that available. We have a tiny grocery store that is half a grocery store and half an appliance store. They still mark the prices with the sticker. The brothers that are running it now have said if they can't find a buyer for it, it will close when they retire because no one in their family wants it.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Apr 26, 2024 9:56:52 GMT -5
I try to stay away from my sister to maintain my sanity.
She is a bully and tries to bully me in to doing what she wants me to do.
I have my friend Jerry to thank for this clarity.
Back to the eye doctor for the test for peripheral vision. I had misunderstood and thought all I was doing was that test for 30 minutes and I though I would be crazy after it. I hate that test with a passion. I was only in the office for 20 minutes and that was not the only test I did. So all of that worrying for nothing.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 26, 2024 9:59:23 GMT -5
I got that hot shower via my park sticker. My neighbors have offered me their homes, but, I hate to intrude. Cold water shampoos are not the same as warm water shampoos, now you know. I am happy for you that you got to take a hot shower, even if it wasn’t in the comfort of your own home. I am a wuss and I can’t do cold showers. Period. When my water heater busted back in 2013, I was fortunate enough to be able to get it replaced the same day. One of the benefits of having a gas water heater was that when I had no power for several days due to bad storms, I could still at least take a decent shower, even if it was by candlelight. For some reason, this house had 2 water heaters at some point. One gas, one electric. Whichever one was not in current use, I think the electric one, was in the storage room when we first looked at the house. I hope I am correct in thinking that the one in use now is gas. My experience with my water heater failing and running rivers of water on the original hardwood floors in my 1960’s house, the cutoff valve on the water heater not working, and having to wait for the utility company to come shut the water off to the whole house, is not something I want to ever happen again. The utility company did arrive quickly, in about 15 minutes and after that, I bought the tool to be able to shut the water to the house myself if necessary. But while I was waiting, my nerves were very bad and I used every single towel I had in my house, and some bed linens, trying to soak up the water that was flowing out of the water heater, so it didn’t ruin my wood floors. Here, the water heater is in the attic. I am not a fan, because of the potential damage if it ever fails in the same way. And none of that has to do with you and your situation, I’m just rambling, so I will hush now. In 2011, and unbeknownst to me, the water heater in the attic burst. It flooded the floors in two bedrooms, A bathroom and a hallway. Apparently when the house was built, and when the water heater was installed in the attic, the drain pipe to outdoors from the collection pan in which the water heater stood, was not connected. So the water heater kept on trying to refill itself and leaking and overflowing the collection pan. Thank goodness for home disaster insurance.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Apr 26, 2024 10:16:43 GMT -5
It's not just Uber. My grandma couldn't get grocery delivery, meals on wheels, home health aids. Nobody services Treynor. It's like the Bermuda triangle of Pottwattomie County. It's a great bedroom community if you're my age. Still in your prime and able to commute for literally every service and need a city usually has. Horrible place to be elderly unless you have family there maybe not even then. DH every once and while gets a hair about the big affordable houses out there. I told him he can go I'll stay here. I'm not doing that commute first of all. Second I'm not going through the hassleof unloadinga house out there when it's no longer feasible for us to safely live out there. I don't expect the girls to either stay or return to the area to help because we'rein a one horse town. I've seen what it did to my dad. Treynor doesn't even have a grocery store! Nope we're staying in Council Bluffs thank you very much. We live in a Suburb of Milwaukee County. Our Taxes are very high $7,982.41, city assessment has house valued at $461,800 it is probably really worth $525,000-550,000. People in the next county over probably only pay $5,000 or less in property taxes for similar houses. We have often talked about moving once his parent's are gone. Right now we have a lot of back and forth with doing stuff for his parents and my parents. DH also has POA for his brother, who is in a nursing home and ends up carting him to Dr. appts too (and his parents). His Dad drives a bit, but will soon be forced to quit driving. DH usually takes his parents to Dr. appts. So my mom is 85. I have a brother and a sister. Since the beginning of the year, I took her to 2 Podiatrist appointments, 2 Trips to her regular family medicine Dr. One trip to an Orthopedic Specialist. my DB has taken her to probably 3 Orthopedic appointments. My Sister has done maybe 3 appointments for PT and two to the Dentist. I take mom to Church every Saturday and do runs to the grocery store mostly on Saturday. I was there twice this week. Her friend often takes her to get her hair done and is willing to take mom to the Dr. I took mom for bloodwork for her annual physical this am. The Physical is Monday. The friend called me yesterday to tell me that she made an appointment for my mom to get a perm on May 11th, and I realized that I could have asked her to take mom for her bloodwork. Her friend was a nurse, and she is very willing to take mom to Dr. Appointments. I think she considers it a bit of a personal mission. Anyways, my DH still wants lots of land. Much more than we have now maybe1-3 acres. We have .41 acre now. I am with NMD, I am thinking if we move again, we need to consider where the medical facilities are. We only have 2 kids, and one is unlikely to live in the same city as us when we are retirement age. DH is diabetic, I have had my thyroid removed and have GI issues. My house is about 2,000 square feet with a 3 car garage. We have always said we would move for lower taxes, but that has to be balanced with access to medical care and convenient access to groceries and manageable yard work and snow clearing. My DH can handle it now, but I am never going to be manhandling a snowblower. If I can't do it, we will need a snowplowing service. We don't need a 100 ft long driveway to pay someone else to clear in the winter. Right now, I have 3 ER/Small hospital/medical office building facilities within 5 miles of where I live. A few thousand dollars a year in taxes goes a long way to offset lack of services, although I think things should be even more condensed together when you begin to lose your mobility/memory.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Apr 26, 2024 10:17:33 GMT -5
Holy sh!t, the #relationshipgoals neighbors are divorcing. I‘m sad for them…had been thinking I hadn’t talked to either of them in a while. What people display in public is almost certainly not representative on what goes on behind closed doors. I am about to be 49YO, and the "company face" was indoctrinated in me at birth.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Apr 26, 2024 10:19:40 GMT -5
It's not just Uber. My grandma couldn't get grocery delivery, meals on wheels, home health aids. My parents had Meals on Wheels where they lived. That isn't available to me. I have had home health aids paid for by Medicare so I know I have that available. We have a tiny grocery store that is half a grocery store and half an appliance store. They still mark the prices with the sticker. The brothers that are running it now have said if they can't find a buyer for it, it will close when they retire because no one in their family wants it. One reason why a lot of rural retirees end up in apartments in the city. That and being closer to decent healthcare.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 26, 2024 10:53:09 GMT -5
L will be moving in with my dad in June. Her rent I'd getting too high. Dad's house is paid off so it makes sense.
Not sure how I feel about it.
I told him I know it's not my place but is he sure HE is ready because he was talking about cleaning the house and was getting upset.
I said I know he asked her but doing what is going to be the final clean out is a huge step. Yeah it's been two years but if you're not ready you're not ready.
He said yes and no.
I will be taking mom's cookie jars. He doesn't think L would mind but he doesn't know and doesn't want to get rid of them or stick them in the basement.
This is going to be hard. I said of course I'll help. It's a welcoming gesture and no way would I expect dad to handle all that alone. It's too much.
Hell the idea of it is overwhelming me and it's not my house. But it's my mom. It's going to be weird for awhile.
I appreciate he gave me a decent heads up.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Apr 26, 2024 10:56:22 GMT -5
L will be moving in with my dad in June. Her rent I'd getting too high. Dad's house is paid off so it makes sense. Not sure how I feel about it. I told him I know it's not my place but is he sure HE is ready because he was talking about cleaning the house and was getting upset. I said I know he asked her but doing what is going to be the final clean out is a huge step. Yeah it's been two years but if you're not ready you're not ready. He said yes and no. I will be taking mom's cookie jars. He doesn't think L would mind but he doesn't know and doesn't want to get rid of them or stick them in the basement. This is going to be hard. I said of course I'll help. It's a welcoming gesture and no way would I expect dad to handle all that alone. It's too much. Hell the idea of it is overwhelming me and it's not my house. But it's my mom. It's going to be weird for awhile. I appreciate he gave me a decent heads up. You explain your thoughts and feelings beautifully - you are a good person and daughter
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