what are you doing right now?

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 26, 2023 21:40:21 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I'm also having trouble giving up a beautiful, energy efficient home that really needs nothing. I'm worried he will decide we just need to live in the trailer instead of a nice home. I have lived in under construction places a lot and I don't mind that but will he be able to do it again? That is the only way we can get a nice house there, I agree with him on spending a ton of money on one. Having the work done up there I think would be prohibitive and hubs would balk at paying what it costs anyway. And he isn't going to be happy. I asked him what he will do there, he said probably take a lot of long drives. He doesn't want to do anything just drive, so its not pleasurable to me either to just do that.

I don't know, just worries me. I thought we would be all set by now and didn't expect son to be about as far away from us as he is and still be in the US.If it weren't for DD none of this would be necessary, I don't blame her in anyway. But I'm not even sure this is the answer for her either, she has open ended benefits here. I wonder how much interest son will take in her. I just don't want this to end up being a big mistake. I have even talked to hubs about buying a smaller, new home in town with a nice garage and splitting time between the two where we don't have much outside work to do. There are no easy answers. I'm ready to scale down and just enjoy life, his enjoyment in life is working on stuff. He said I guess I will start working on the motorhome again to get things fixed so it will sell better. I only need to put new backsplash stuff behind the sink in the kitchen in it and clean. He has other things he wants to fix. Perhaps to him not working on stuff equates being ready to die or something. I just don't know.

For us both this is a huge, huge decision.  We likely could leave a house here in son's name and let her live in it with state supplied help and another resident for the rest of her life. She likely has enough benefits to do that too.

Don’t do this to your son.  This means he’s going to have to take responsibility for property and his sister a plane ride away.  Neither he nor his wife could be there in an emergency within a few hours.  It also means he needs to navigate a state system where he does not reside.  

If something happens to you two, he’s likely going to have to bring her out to WA anyway.  Dealing with someone in less than great health and being a half a country is absolute heartburn.  I was in this position for both of my parents, and in each case I had another parent, spouse or sibling to tag team with me.  Your son has none of that.  For one, I had a very understanding boss and tons of sick time I could burn, and the other I wasn’t working.  Throw a job onto this where I had to account for every minute of my time and dealing with my mom would have been a hell of a lot harder…..other than just emotionally.

[andi9899]

Nov 26, 2023 19:50:31 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Nov 26, 2023 19:37:27 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I would feel better if I was younger. For many years now, I have said here that I made choices based in my desire to retire asap, and that was even before my body got so wonky. Specifically, that is how I have battled my love of cars and new car fever, and kept driving my 2003 Honda instead of buying a new car. That is a BFD. It’s also why I’d stopped thinking of my house as a “starter” house and started making it my forever house. A new car until it was a necessity and a more expensive house would’ve derailed my plans to retire asap.

I know I’ll have to buy another car eventually, but once I got serious about retiring asap, a big part of my plan included being mortgage free and only paying taxes and insurance after I retire. That is the only way I will be able to retire asap. I will be all kinds of unhappy if I have to keep working into my 60’s. And that is if my body even allows me to do that.

A few days ago, my coworker and I saw another employee leaning on a piece of equipment just to be able to walk, and still struggling, and my coworker, who is having some serious issues with her back, said “I hope I can retire before I’m like that”. My thoughts exactly. But the truth is, that I am at risk for being exactly like that in some way, because my body is rebelling already. That truly scares me.

I know that the easy answer is to just move back into my house if I have to. But that is also really complicated and I will have to spend a lot of money to make it mine again. And that’s if I can even wrap my mind around living there again, because it has come to symbolize a lot of negative stuff for me, to the point that it kind of feels like a noose around my neck, even on a good day. Trying to fix my emotions if I have to live there again, might be an even higher price to pay than the money I’d have to spend to try to fix the house and make it be somewhere I can be comfortable living again. 

So even though I acknowledge all the underlying emotions regarding the shit with Mister, I am also just plain angry about having to try to figure certain shit out at this point in my life.

this is a lot of me being all up in my head lately, too. it's def not a fun place to be. 😕 hugs, lady.

We can be triplets. I want to have a house paid for by the time I retire as well. It really does seem like it's going to take a lot to get that accomplished
Especially since I'm now 45 with aging parents. I feel like I'll have to work until I'm 70 in order to get it done. By then, my parents likely won't be here anymore. This means I'll likely still be working while also having a hospital set up in said house.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nov 27, 2023 11:22:26 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Nov 26, 2023 21:40:21 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I'm also having trouble giving up a beautiful, energy efficient home that really needs nothing. I'm worried he will decide we just need to live in the trailer instead of a nice home. I have lived in under construction places a lot and I don't mind that but will he be able to do it again? That is the only way we can get a nice house there, I agree with him on spending a ton of money on one. Having the work done up there I think would be prohibitive and hubs would balk at paying what it costs anyway. And he isn't going to be happy. I asked him what he will do there, he said probably take a lot of long drives. He doesn't want to do anything just drive, so its not pleasurable to me either to just do that.

I don't know, just worries me. I thought we would be all set by now and didn't expect son to be about as far away from us as he is and still be in the US.If it weren't for DD none of this would be necessary, I don't blame her in anyway. But I'm not even sure this is the answer for her either, she has open ended benefits here. I wonder how much interest son will take in her. I just don't want this to end up being a big mistake. I have even talked to hubs about buying a smaller, new home in town with a nice garage and splitting time between the two where we don't have much outside work to do. There are no easy answers. I'm ready to scale down and just enjoy life, his enjoyment in life is working on stuff. He said I guess I will start working on the motorhome again to get things fixed so it will sell better. I only need to put new backsplash stuff behind the sink in the kitchen in it and clean. He has other things he wants to fix. Perhaps to him not working on stuff equates being ready to die or something. I just don't know.

For us both this is a huge, huge decision.  We likely could leave a house here in son's name and let her live in it with state supplied help and another resident for the rest of her life. She likely has enough benefits to do that too.

Don’t do this to your son.  This means he’s going to have to take responsibility for property and his sister a plane ride away.  Neither he nor his wife could be there in an emergency within a few hours.  It also means he needs to navigate a state system where he does not reside.  

If something happens to you two, he’s likely going to have to bring her out to WA anyway.  Dealing with someone in less than great health and being a half a country is absolute heartburn.  I was in this position for both of my parents, and in each case I had another parent, spouse or sibling to tag team with me.  Your son has none of that.  For one, I had a very understanding boss and tons of sick time I could burn, and the other I wasn’t working.  Throw a job onto this where I had to account for every minute of my time and dealing with my mom would have been a hell of a lot harder…..other than just emotionally.

My grandmother was only a 45 minute drive away.  About the same for GU.  It was a freaking nightmare.  My dad was incredibly lucky to have leverage with his work and an understanding boss before he quit to run the business.   I have been pretty lucky as well but I've gotten warnings that I am pushing it and I only deal with her finanicial paperwork.

If Son is going to be in charge of his sister in any fashion then she needs to be moved to his location.  It will make it much easier for him to handle everything.  Cause even with the piece of paper saying he is in charge he'll still get pushback, especially if they see he is living in an entirely different state.

And should something happen to her finanically or otherwise he will be held liable for it as her guardian.  Doesn't matter he wasn't there, he is responsible for her.

She needs to be where he can easily check in on her and anyone caring for her.

My GU was robbed blind by his caretakers they took anything that wasn't nailed down.  That was WITH my dad coming by weekly to check on him.  I can't imagine trying to deal with that from half way around the country.

[giramomma]

Nov 27, 2023 11:40:27 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 26, 2023 19:50:31 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

this is a lot of me being all up in my head lately, too. it's def not a fun place to be. 😕 hugs, lady.

We can be triplets. I want to have a house paid for by the time I retire as well. It really does seem like it's going to take a lot to get that accomplished
Especially since I'm now 45 with aging parents. I feel like I'll have to work until I'm 70 in order to get it done. By then, my parents likely won't be here anymore. This means I'll likely still be working while also having a hospital set up in said house.

Well, add me to the list. This is so not where I thought or planned to be. And when I mean planned, I mean, planned and counted on since I was 25/26. I was 28 when DS was born. I had even calculate the years I would be replace cares from when I was  28-58.

I think, though, I've worked through quite a bit of it. It took a year. I had to grieve to move on. And I learned quite a bit about life. I guess I thought I learned what I needed to, but here we are.

I'm hopeful that my 50s are going to be a good decade.

I'm definitely more at peace.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 26, 2023 21:22:54 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I am working on books. If I had been on a job and the "workers" did not make sure their stuff was in so I can use it, I would have been on a rampage.  I always kept after hubs giving me all the receipts, but I was gone 2 months, than have been procrastinating on bringing stuff up to date. I would ask him do I have the receipts, yeah, , but I don't think he was listening.

It seemed like an awful lot of stuff was being ordered from amazon and I had no receipts?? For some reason on this last house he started ordering more and more stuff from them well on the credit card you have no way of knowing what it is unless you can match it up. Now I'm finding out he can't get the printer to work on his Ipad so I'm reconciling accounts and there are tons of receipts I don't have. I have our credit card broken down so I can charge to the property acct, mine, his, or DD's when I make payments on it. Used to be MIL's had an acct too. It works well if you have everything. So now I'm here and going to have to get all the invoices printed out and journal them in. I have paid a lot of this out of our personal account. Now I'm going to have months of items to print out and match up, damn. Not only that he has paid out of our regular acct with a debit card, his acct with a debit card, and cash. I'm trying to match to the credit card and realize its debit so sort those down. This is a small business should not be this much work, now almost none, yet here I am.  I'm far from perfect because I haven't been to school for what 50 years and haven't work in over 20 so I too have forgotten things. I'm sitting here hoping we don't get audited. I don't like doing stuff this way. 

I only have a couple more months to bring up to date, but I think I have missed a lot of charges. I will get it, but not wanting to deal with it isn't helping me either.  I am leaving the 7th and hope to get it in better order before I leave, will only have 2 more recons to do and they should be simple.  Hope to finish this part before I go, review my depn schedules and just go back over everything.

Go into your Amazon account, everything ordered is there.  

TD decided he wanted to track sales tax one year.  Every order I had placed had a tabulation of what it was and what it cost…..including tax.  That’s an easy way to track.  

[andi9899]

Nov 27, 2023 8:23:53 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I don't wanna go to work!

::said in my best toddler tantrum voice:::

You are not alone. The 4 day weekend ended far too soon! I did NOT want to get up this morning.

[wvugurl26]

We even got off 3 hours early on Wednesday and the weekend went by too fast. Probably because we had things to do and had to leave the house Thursday - Saturday. On the plus side I am almost done with DH's Christmas.

[chiver78]

I'm already looking forward to Wednesday, even with a vet visit for LD on the books for the morning. I might pour myself a glass of wine soon. 

I'm currently sitting on a call for a <major fuckup on the CMO's part> issue that's impacting a multi-million dollar lot of finished packaged product, that we've been arguing about what stability data we can and can't rely on in order to release part of the lot and ship it out. the error happened about a month ago, and we have to ship this lot by EOM for other reasons I can't explain vaguely enough for a public board. we've literally had about a dozen calls to align on things, only to have notifications come back that no, they don't agree. this is another one of those. someone shoot me, please. 

[TheOtherMe]

Amelia has been to the vet and we are home.  Yes, she has a flare of her stomatitis.  She got a steroid shots this time as her gums were And hnot infected yet.  Vet said to try to bring her in at this point because the infection is very painful for her.  I had wondered if she was really having a flare because her breath didn't stink.  He said it doesn't have to.

He suggested soaking her food in water since she has started upchucking it after inhalation without chewing.  He did say that is because it hurts to eat and she's hungry.  

Because she will not let me trip her back nails, he did those and a few of the front.  At least he said I was doing a good job with the front nails.  I said yes, one at a time is her tolerance level.  That's why there were only a few to trim on the front.  

Maddow is worse on the nails but we deal with it because I don't want to take him in just to do that.

[bean29]

Nov 27, 2023 7:46:07 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I feel for delivery drivers. I placed an order for delivery from Target on Friday evening. I could have picked it up, but had my fill of town for the week and there wasn't anything I needed right away. Original estimate was it would deliver Wednesday. FedEx delivered it on Sunday. 😯

Yeah, you are smarter than me.  I ordered a floor cleaner for DS's girlfriend on Thursday.  I have driven past Target several times, but today is my last day to pick it up.  Have to remember on my way home.  I should have just had it sent to the house!

[lurkyloo]

I got up, albeit begrudgingly, but I’m not very focused or functional today.  Off to the neurologist in a few…I’d like to revisit the preventives after the number of migraine flareups this summer, but the fall has been less bad and I didn’t start actively record keeping till Sept.

On the feeling more productive side, I cleared out the perfume samples that seem to be breeding in the bathroom drawer and have arranged to transfer most of them to the tweens next door, who are in the experimenting with girl stuff phase   Don’t have to throw them out, so win win.

[swamp]

Nov 27, 2023 11:10:41 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 26, 2023 17:47:41 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I'm slightly sickened, or a lot sickened, actually.

www.vox.com/23960702/big-family-ballerina-farm-hannah-neeleman-dougherty-dozen-instagram-tiktok-influencers

I'm not surprised by this at all. When you have conservatives telling people that the brown people are trying to eradicate white people, the wackadoos come up with stuff like this. White people be white peopling.

This white people has had more than enough of the white people like her.

I'm still baffled how an excess of melanin makes you a bad person.    

[ners]

Eating lunch and hoping the weather needs are incorrect about the amount of snow we are expecting between now and Wednesday morning.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Waiting for them to fix my tire. Luckily, it can be fixed so don’t have to get a set of new tires.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nov 27, 2023 11:53:46 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Nov 27, 2023 11:40:27 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

We can be triplets. I want to have a house paid for by the time I retire as well. It really does seem like it's going to take a lot to get that accomplished
Especially since I'm now 45 with aging parents. I feel like I'll have to work until I'm 70 in order to get it done. By then, my parents likely won't be here anymore. This means I'll likely still be working while also having a hospital set up in said house.

Well, add me to the list. This is so not where I thought or planned to be. And when I mean planned, I mean, planned and counted on since I was 25/26. I was 28 when DS was born. I had even calculate the years I would be replace cares from when I was  28-58.

I think, though, I've worked through quite a bit of it. It took a year. I had to grieve to move on. And I learned quite a bit about life. I guess I thought I learned what I needed to, but here we are.

I'm hopeful that my 50s are going to be a good decade.

I'm definitely more at peace.

Same.  My 30s have been a roller coaster.   I am praying my 40s start to even out and I can rest and finally figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

I suppose I needed to learn some of these life lessons and looking back people DID try to tell me but I was convinced my plan would work and refused to budge.   Ugh.  Youth is wasted on the young pivoting would have been so much easier at 25 than 40 with a mortgage and kids.

It is what it is.  I have a good life overall it's just not what I expected it to be at this stage.

[finnime]

20, 40, 60 -- it's still not what I'd expected, but it's good over all. 

[NastyWoman]

Nov 27, 2023 14:49:43 GMT -5 finnime said:

20, 40, 60 -- it's still not what I'd expected, but it's good over all. 

Add 70 to it and you are describing me. Not that I mind but it is a bit odd that I wasn't right about even one of all those decades (shows you how much I know LOL)

[bean29]

Requested two discounts on previous purchases today.  one was $13.25 and the other was $55 or so.  

DH and I have done ok, but why did I think when I was in my 40's that maybe I could maybe stop working, and here I am on the cusp of 60 still working, and feeling like I need to work as long as possible.  I occurred to me over the weekend that if politicians are going to start telling people that working until 68 or 70 is realistic, they will start budgeting for retirement like they have until 68-70 to save up the $$ they will need, and that they will budget as if they need less $$ for retirement.  It is a disaster waiting to happen.  

I started saving in a 401K at 20 and had profit sharing at that job.  I stupidly left just before I vested.  Then I cashed out my 401K balance to buy a house.  The next Job I got I started saving for retirement again...and I still feel like I just don't have enough.  This am we saw on the news about some person that won the Michigan Lottery $25,000 for life.  DH wasn't getting it.  I told him it is not $25,000 it is $25,000 a year for life.  That would make me feel like I could retire with no worries.  I am not one for playing the lottery though, so it is very, very unlikely anything like that is in my future.

I talked to my brother yesterday and told him I think we should talk to Mom about quitting driving again.  He of course would like to put Mom in an assisted living type place right away.  I just am not ready to go that far yet.  Still feel like I should quit working and have my mom come live with us.  DH is on board to have her live with us, but I just don't think he realistically understands what that would involve.  We had friends taking care of their mom with Demetia, at home and they never left her alone.  When we saw them at friend's parties they never came together, as someone always stayed home with the mom.  Mom could live another 5 or more years. I feel a lot of quilt b/c my Mom cared for my bedridden father at home, right up until the end of his life.  It is very hard to think about doing less for her.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 27, 2023 14:49:43 GMT -5 finnime said:

20, 40, 60 -- it's still not what I'd expected, but it's good over all. 

Agree with you here.  Nothing in my life turned out how I expected it to turn out.  

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 27, 2023 15:08:25 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Requested two discounts on previous purchases today.  one was $13.25 and the other was $55 or so.  

DH and I have done ok, but why did I think when I was in my 40's that maybe I could maybe stop working, and here I am on the cusp of 60 still working, and feeling like I need to work as long as possible.  I occurred to me over the weekend that if politicians are going to start telling people that working until 68 or 70 is realistic, they will start budgeting for retirement like they have until 68-70 to save up the $$ they will need, and that they will budget as if they need less $$ for retirement.  It is a disaster waiting to happen.  

I started saving in a 401K at 20 and had profit sharing at that job.  I stupidly left just before I vested.  Then I cashed out my 401K balance to buy a house.  The next Job I got I started saving for retirement again...and I still feel like I just don't have enough.  This am we saw on the news about some person that won the Michigan Lottery $25,000 for life.  DH wasn't getting it.  I told him it is not $25,000 it is $25,000 a year for life.  That would make me feel like I could retire with no worries.  I am not one for playing the lottery though, so it is very, very unlikely anything like that is in my future.

I talked to my brother yesterday and told him I think we should talk to Mom about quitting driving again.  He of course would like to put Mom in an assisted living type place right away.  I just am not ready to go that far yet.  Still feel like I should quit working and have my mom come live with us.  DH is on board to have her live with us, but I just don't think he realistically understands what that would involve.  We had friends taking care of their mom with Demetia, at home and they never left her alone.  When we saw them at friend's parties they never came together, as someone always stayed home with the mom.  Mom could live another 5 or more years. I feel a lot of quilt b/c my Mom cared for my bedridden father at home, right up until the end of his life.  It is very hard to think about doing less for her.

This might just about cover your health insurance until retirement.  After Medicare, then you might get about half that.  Healthcare costs really are an eye opening experience.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

So back from Costco with a fully functioning rear tire, hole in the tread.  These tires are about 4 years old, only about half the number of miles on them and we should have another few seasons out of them as they are still in excellent shape.  TD had me convinced I had driven on a flat tire from Costco home.  My last stop on Wed. morning was Costco for gas and my car sat in the garage undriven until Thur night when he found it flat.  My gas tank is right over that tire, so I KNOW I would have seen it if it was flat.  It wasn't.   

Luckily, they were able to get me in fairly fast and fixed.  I hit Costco ($200 later) and called TD to come pick me up.  His office is just on the other side of the highway, so pretty close.  They brought my car in right after I had called him for a ride, so he took the groceries home and I waited for my car.  It wasn't that long.

Still no response about our flights with Singapore Air.  This is getting just a little alarming.

[soupandstew]

Nov 27, 2023 5:31:47 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Advertisement I am seeing on this page is for "Flo" and the title line reads "Learn how to orgasm". 😯

Now I'm trying to figure out what I may have looked at recently to be seeing that type of ad. 🤣

When you say "Flo" I get the image of the woman from Progressive Insurance, and that's totally incompatible with the orgasm concept

[soupandstew]

Pink Cashmere  For a limited time only, I and certain other posters are offering a 2 for 1 special.  We will take care of Mister (if he doesn't move his stuff in the bedroom) and your therapist (if she cancels another appointment) for one low price of a sleepover, meal, and drinks.  

Seriously, I hope your therapist comes through for you and you can discuss the items you want to with her.  

[NastyWoman]

Just for the record I blame The Walk of the Penguin Mich 95%* for all those beautiful boots that keep popping up all over my computer, tablet, and phone.

*the other 5% are on me for my inability to stop myself from clicking on the links in this forum. 

[chiver78]

y'all. I just went outside to check out progress after hanging up on my last call of the day. they aren't even close to done, and I can already tell that it's going to be amazing. they have dug down like 6" to build up to grade - the appropriate layers of stone, stone dust, and landscape fabric. I'm gonna be gushing about this all week, so I'm going to just shut up about it now   lol... for those of you I'm linked to on FB, I'll put up some progress pics in the AM. they are actually still working as it's dusk now, b/c I can light up the neighborhood with the lights on the shed/back of the house. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nov 27, 2023 15:08:25 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Requested two discounts on previous purchases today.  one was $13.25 and the other was $55 or so.  

DH and I have done ok, but why did I think when I was in my 40's that maybe I could maybe stop working, and here I am on the cusp of 60 still working, and feeling like I need to work as long as possible.  I occurred to me over the weekend that if politicians are going to start telling people that working until 68 or 70 is realistic, they will start budgeting for retirement like they have until 68-70 to save up the $$ they will need, and that they will budget as if they need less $$ for retirement.  It is a disaster waiting to happen.  

I started saving in a 401K at 20 and had profit sharing at that job.  I stupidly left just before I vested.  Then I cashed out my 401K balance to buy a house.  The next Job I got I started saving for retirement again...and I still feel like I just don't have enough.  This am we saw on the news about some person that won the Michigan Lottery $25,000 for life.  DH wasn't getting it.  I told him it is not $25,000 it is $25,000 a year for life.  That would make me feel like I could retire with no worries.  I am not one for playing the lottery though, so it is very, very unlikely anything like that is in my future.

I talked to my brother yesterday and told him I think we should talk to Mom about quitting driving again.  He of course would like to put Mom in an assisted living type place right away.  I just am not ready to go that far yet.  Still feel like I should quit working and have my mom come live with us.  DH is on board to have her live with us, but I just don't think he realistically understands what that would involve.  We had friends taking care of their mom with Demetia, at home and they never left her alone.  When we saw them at friend's parties they never came together, as someone always stayed home with the mom.  Mom could live another 5 or more years. I feel a lot of quilt b/c my Mom cared for my bedridden father at home, right up until the end of his life.  It is very hard to think about doing less for her.

Did your mom work?  I'm only asking because my grandmother took care of her father, my grandma took care of hers, GU and my grandfather but the common denominator is neither one of them worked outside the home.  They were already there and ready to go.  They had my grandfather's pensions both from jobs and military.  AND my grandfather's got hefty SS benefits.  My grandma collects close to $2k a month.  I am probably going to be lucky if I get half that AND I am expected to work till 78 if I want the full amount. 

I have absolutely none of that to fall back on it's on me to fund my retirement which means I need to work and work for as long as I can.  

The world is a different place than when they took care of their relatives.  While I feel guilt about it assisted living exists for a reason. Elder care is rapidly becoming a crisis in this country as people (usually women) leave the workforce to care for their elderly parents.  Now they have no retirement funds or very little so need their kids help.  So forth and so on.

And people with dementia need care that most of us are not equipped to provide.  So many people go missing around here.  Majority of them are not found alive.  It's really sad.  We live in a world that is not suited for caring for elderly dementia patients at home unless you can devote 24/7 care to them.   There is no way even if I stayed home all the time I could properly care for my grandma at this point.  She's not mobile I would have to help her do everything.  I know I can learn to properly lift her if I had to but that is a HUGE ask.  There are also no assurances she won't become violent.  While she's only 75 lbs so can't do much damage to me that's scary for my kids to have to see.   She could end up hurting herself which would land me in hot water.  We got into it when she refused to wait to go to the bathroom.  I know she can't walk but she could possibly propel herself out of the wheelchair and have it roll on top of her.  I am much more comfortable with having people who are trained to help her and are required by law to have a certain number of people assist as opposed to trying to do it all myself home alone while DH is at work.

Hiring someone to help her would cost just as much if not more than a nursing home so that's not a valid solution either.  I'd still be on the hook for the majority of her care.  

It is okay to take a practical look at your life and decide to put on your own oxygen mask first.

ETA: and there is more to assisted living nowadays than what we tend to automatically picture when it comes up.  Depending on your mom's physical needs she could need as little as a senior apartment where they provide shuttle services, Maintenace and all that but very little actual care.   If she is mobile there are quite a few options compared to my grandmother who was already immobile thanks to the fall.  It's worth looking into what is in your area.  Here if she had listened to us there are several places with excellent apartments that once you are approved you then wend your way through to nursing home care, you are assured a spot when the time comes.  It would have saved her so much money on the front end and allowed her to be independent longer.

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 27, 2023 10:31:46 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Nov 27, 2023 9:57:28 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I hate this time of the year.  The constant "What do the boys want for Christmas?" texts have begun.  I don't even know what I'm going to get them, but I'm supposed to tell 8 other people what to get too? 

They are so easy to buy for when they’re little and I have 0 idea what to get him now.  His own suggestions are by and large not helpful (e.g. a forklift.  Actually two, one gas and one electric.  )

Your son sounds like a lot of fun.

[snapdragon]

I have been in building mode today.

I put together a metal toilet shelf thing for the 2nd bathroom.

Got my new desk chair put together. It's rather comfy too.

Next up is the media cabinet so I can unbox most of my media and have it together in future.

 

[toomuchreality]

Nov 27, 2023 5:31:47 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Advertisement I am seeing on this page is for "Flo" and the title line reads "Learn how to orgasm". 😯

Now I'm trying to figure out what I may have looked at recently to be seeing that type of ad. 🤣

That one has been on my FB page a lot lately. I have no idea why!
🤣

[andi9899]

Nov 27, 2023 14:01:59 GMT -5 swamp said:

Nov 27, 2023 11:10:41 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I'm not surprised by this at all. When you have conservatives telling people that the brown people are trying to eradicate white people, the wackadoos come up with stuff like this. White people be white peopling.

This white people has had more than enough of the white people like her.

I'm still baffled how an excess of melanin makes you a bad person.    

Same. Let me tell you, being the melanated one can suck sometimes. On the plus side, our food is well seasoned.