what are you doing right now?

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2023 15:02:58 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Nov 20, 2023 13:38:50 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Son helped me when up in Washington, he put all my new curtain rods up and hung my drapes in the living room. He helped hubs move all the furniture into the mobile. He comes and gets us and takes us back to the airport if he can otherwise DIL does. They don't complain, but I know us flying in late is less than desirable but only non stop flight out of Indi to there. A real pain in the butt situation. He will fix stuff if needed, but the place is in pretty good condition.

I told hubs both or one of us could last 20 more years will that place last? He said its a 50 year old modular now and in good shape, he doesn't see why not. We are debating on just adding some storage and staying there instead of buying another house. Hard to move from this high end home though to a "trailer", at least it is for me.  I talked about buying a better, bigger one, but hate to do that too. I don't know will see how it goes. It's handy, close to the kids, and we don't have a lot of money in it even with the rent. The rent is still less than property taxes on most homes up there and our taxes there are cheap.

Our neighbor does help hubs with stuff and hubs does the same for him, neither of them is young anymore. But they still can do a lot. We will have to see if hubs still can, I hope so. He will help anyone here do anything and has garages worth of supplies. If people are fixing something and need a piece of something hubs usually has it and gives it to them. It many times saves them a trip tot he city. We don't mind.

Took DD to chiro, makes her feel better around her back, neck, and shoulders.  I went by Walmart and got her another Xmas outfit, all green this time. A vest sweater, shirt, and pants, more army green to me but looks very nice on her. The Time and Tru brand fits her well and they wear pretty good too. Good thing as not much else around here. So she can mix and match when we go to Washington for Xmas. I may get her one more. I bought myself a gold colored jeans and sweater at Pennys, that looks good too. And I bought her a white and red head bands. I always told her if she lost weight I would see she has pretty clothes and I am. It was hard to find her pretty stuff before. 

When we came home the dryer was running, I said is that still going? Hubs said no, I washed and dried and folded a load for you. I'm going oh no, that last load was new clothes and I was separating the colors the first time, he said to late. But I looked and somehow he didn't turn it on, so that was good. Likely would been ok but red and gold, I don't know. So did those separately just in case. But I appreciated the help.

For dinner I think will be leftovers, of baked beans an potato salad, and some meat, maybe hot dogs.

Waiting on 2 to leave to have my hair touched up, DD may go, doesn't matter to me. I ordered a bunch of her meds today too. Need to see what I need also. 

You constantly talk about how keeping up this house is killing you and your husband.  You've also said how much you hate it where you currently are.   On top of that the area you are in is not very elderly or disability friendly as you all continue to age.

The modular requires very little upkeep.  That is time you currently spend doing endless chores that can be spent with your grandkid and/or finally doing things you actually enjoy doing.  Your posts were a lot happier up there and not a list of endless chores.

I get it, some people just don't know how to NOT work.  You and your husband sound like those type of people.

House are just sticks and nails.  Whatever you chose to live in will have to be sold when you pass anyhow.  Your son has his own home and your DD can't have it for Medicaid purposes.  So who cares if the modular is a "nice" house compared to this one?  It keeps you dry and gives you a place to sleep right?  Enjoy the freedom having a "not nice" house is going to finally afford you.

Besides if the modular does not last 20+ years you just have to unload a modular instead of a huge property.  In the area you plan you move you likely have more options in terms of senior apartments/homes that you can move into when the time comes.   You have money and you will have more options up there.  

Homes are very important to some people, and I think the older you are the more likely that is true because of social programming. I miss having a house. I owned only two homes and total time probably only 10 years of my life? I've been out of college for 40 years, I did not plan nor go to college for most of my adult life to be living in rentals ... and mostly one bedrooms at that. And renting rooms at 50 plus is not for the faint of heart either so I get their attachment to home.

I am thankful I was not programmed to be always busy or working. In my family we are all hardworking and its kind of a given you do work and do do your best. But I am like my dad, and I need a certain amount of downtime to be at my best. CG2 and her DH's desire to be constantly busy and working is not for me. But some people need that and I know people 10 plus years younger than me that are wired that way because of their nature. In the end, you have to do you. And CG is doing her based on the constraints of her family - DH, her daughter and her son's family. Its a bit to juggle. I know just last night when I realized I really do not have a safety net to speak of anymore in NJ, I started thinking maybe moving back to Illinois in the future is not a bad idea. Even if the cost of living isn't any better there. At least I will have the one sister and a couple childhood friends still live within an hour of where we grew up. 

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2023 19:46:15 GMT -5 weltz said:

Nov 20, 2023 16:00:12 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

I just got a box of Sanders bump cakes delivered 



(if this made any sense to you you may be a Midwesterner…)

My mind immediately went to Colonel Sanders
"What? KFC makes cakes now?"

The bumps are the chicken tenders.     

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 20, 2023 19:20:38 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Link for Covid tests:   www.covid.gov/tests

Thank you for the info and the link. I just placed an order.

[countrygirl2]

Our Kinetico system was serviced today. And yep it needed some little gears replaced that helps it to run. It's strictly a mechanical system and not electric. This is the second time its been serviced since 2012 and had repairs. It was likely placed in the house sometime after 2003 so quite old, he does change the big whole house filter annually. I can tell a big difference in the water output, hubs, had noticed a difference too. When the salts get all used down, I'm going to empty the container and clean it out. I did once before. Hubs said we get so much dirt because we are at the end of a line. But it's working well again. I just emptied the ice maker and will refill it. But there is a secondary filter for the sink and ice maker so he gauged it and it was very clean. That's the one we drink water from and I cook from. The water in it is crystal clear and tastes so good. 

[toomuchreality]

Nov 20, 2023 17:57:42 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

ATT actually got internet and TV back on at 2 p.m. vs the 9 p.m. originally anticipated so YAY for them.  I did use the downtime to make myself work on the book a bit.  I'm going to take the Delsym cough suppressant tonight-I skipped it last night and had several coughing spells.  Overall though I feel so much better with the additional hours of sleep.  Tomorrow I'm going to go for the haircut I missed today what with dealing with the internet outage, and back to the larger grocery store for a dessert portion for Thanksgiving (DH wants either a slice of pumpkin pie or of cheesecake, and I don't care which).

I'd like one of each, please.
Thank you.
A dessert size portion? As in the whole pie? That's what it means to me! LOL

I wonder if Costco has any pumpkin pies left? Maybe not likely, but a couple of years ago, they still had some after Thanksgiving, so I might go look.
It will be a mad house, I'm sure. But if that's the only part of a TG dinner I get. So be it. I'm worth it!
I've been considering getting a rotisserie chicken, to have instead of Turkey. That should be less than $15. And I already have Stove top, mashed potatoes, cranberries and peas. Close enough, since I'm not cooking and will be alone. I'm not trying to impress anyone. And I gave my good roasting pan to DD2, years ago.

Stouffer's turkey dinners are TERRIBLE, IMO. I couldn't even make myself eat it. Although I tried a bite of mashed potatoes and gravy. Also 1 bite of stuffing. Then I made up fancy looking dishes, for DD1s dogs, with the rest. They loved it. I thought it was disgusting!
Usually Stouffer's does better than that.
I'd rather have a cheap hamburger from McDonald's!

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2023 20:10:54 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Our Kinetico system was serviced today. And yep it needed some little gears replaced that helps it to run. It's strictly a mechanical system and not electric. This is the second time its been serviced since 2012 and had repairs. It was likely placed in the house sometime after 2003 so quite old, he does change the big whole house filter annually. I can tell a big difference in the water output, hubs, had noticed a difference too. When the salts get all used down, I'm going to empty the container and clean it out. I did once before. Hubs said we get so much dirt because we are at the end of a line. But it's working well again. I just emptied the ice maker and will refill it. But there is a secondary filter for the sink and ice maker so he gauged it and it was very clean. That's the one we drink water from and I cook from. The water in it is crystal clear and tastes so good. 

What is this, Kinetico system? What does it do?

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2023 20:23:09 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Nov 20, 2023 17:57:42 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

ATT actually got internet and TV back on at 2 p.m. vs the 9 p.m. originally anticipated so YAY for them.  I did use the downtime to make myself work on the book a bit.  I'm going to take the Delsym cough suppressant tonight-I skipped it last night and had several coughing spells.  Overall though I feel so much better with the additional hours of sleep.  Tomorrow I'm going to go for the haircut I missed today what with dealing with the internet outage, and back to the larger grocery store for a dessert portion for Thanksgiving (DH wants either a slice of pumpkin pie or of cheesecake, and I don't care which).

I'd like one of each, please.
Thank you.
A dessert size portion? As in the whole pie? That's what it means to me! LOL

I wonder if Costco has any pumpkin pies left? Maybe not likely, but a couple of years ago, they still had some after Thanksgiving, so I might go look.
It will be a mad house, I'm sure. But if that's the only part of a TG dinner I get. So be it. I'm worth it!
I've been considering getting a rotisserie chicken, to have instead of Turkey. That should be less than $15. And I already have Stove top, mashed potatoes, cranberries and peas. Close enough, since I'm not cooking and will be alone. I'm not trying to impress anyone. And I gave my good roasting pan to DD2, years ago.

Stouffer's turkey dinners are TERRIBLE, IMO. I couldn't even make myself eat it. Although I tried a bite of mashed potatoes and gravy. Also 1 bite of stuffing. Then I made up fancy looking dishes, for DD1s dogs, with the rest. They loved it. I thought it was disgusting!
Usually Stouffer's does better than that.
I'd rather have a cheap hamburger from McDonald's!

Suggestions for TG for one at home are welcome. I will be placing a grocery order probably tomorrow as Wednesday will be risky for delivery and getting enough of what I ordered. (I currently limit myself to ordering every two weeks because of the delivery fee overhead.)

I like turkey, but I don't need it. I like stuffing but Stovetop isn't the best for me so I don't need that either. I would like something I can heat up in the oven as I don't have a microwave. I might splurge a little, IDK. Right now to save money I rarely buy frozen lunches for work even though its so much easier than making somethine every day or even assembling enough b4 I have to be out the door to wait for the bus.

The grocery store does not carry many non dairy options I like. I eat meat, fish and fowl although I try to eat more veg because of my age and heart health. 

[toomuchreality]

Nov 20, 2023 20:39:13 GMT -5 Opti said:

Nov 20, 2023 20:10:54 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Our Kinetico system was serviced today. And yep it needed some little gears replaced that helps it to run. It's strictly a mechanical system and not electric. This is the second time its been serviced since 2012 and had repairs. It was likely placed in the house sometime after 2003 so quite old, he does change the big whole house filter annually. I can tell a big difference in the water output, hubs, had noticed a difference too. When the salts get all used down, I'm going to empty the container and clean it out. I did once before. Hubs said we get so much dirt because we are at the end of a line. But it's working well again. I just emptied the ice maker and will refill it. But there is a secondary filter for the sink and ice maker so he gauged it and it was very clean. That's the one we drink water from and I cook from. The water in it is crystal clear and tastes so good. 

What is this, Kinetico system? What does it do?

I was thinking the same thing!

I guess, if you're happy, that's good. But you could have written in Japanese, for all I understood.

Enjoy your adjustments!

[toomuchreality]

Nov 20, 2023 20:46:43 GMT -5 Opti said:

Nov 20, 2023 20:23:09 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

I'd like one of each, please.
Thank you.
A dessert size portion? As in the whole pie? That's what it means to me! LOL

I wonder if Costco has any pumpkin pies left? Maybe not likely, but a couple of years ago, they still had some after Thanksgiving, so I might go look.
It will be a mad house, I'm sure. But if that's the only part of a TG dinner I get. So be it. I'm worth it!
I've been considering getting a rotisserie chicken, to have instead of Turkey. That should be less than $15. And I already have Stove top, mashed potatoes, cranberries and peas. Close enough, since I'm not cooking and will be alone. I'm not trying to impress anyone. And I gave my good roasting pan to DD2, years ago.

Stouffer's turkey dinners are TERRIBLE, IMO. I couldn't even make myself eat it. Although I tried a bite of mashed potatoes and gravy. Also 1 bite of stuffing. Then I made up fancy looking dishes, for DD1s dogs, with the rest. They loved it. I thought it was disgusting!
Usually Stouffer's does better than that.
I'd rather have a cheap hamburger from McDonald's!

Suggestions for TG for one at home are welcome. I will be placing a grocery order probably tomorrow as Wednesday will be risky for delivery and getting enough of what I ordered. (I currently limit myself to ordering every two weeks because of the delivery fee overhead.)

I like turkey, but I don't need it. I like stuffing but Stovetop isn't the best for me so I don't need that either. I would like something I can heat up in the oven as I don't have a microwave. I might splurge a little, IDK. Right now to save money I rarely buy frozen lunches for work even though its so much easier than making somethine every day or even assembling enough b4 I have to be out the door to wait for the bus.

The grocery store does not carry many non dairy options I like. I eat meat, fish and fowl although I try to eat more veg because of my age and heart health. 

Do you eat eggs? I'm considering, egg salad sandwiches. I had Stove top, yesterday and the day before.
Egg salad sandwiches on super soft/fresh bread, or rolls, remind me of deviled eggs and I enjoy certain bread/rolls. So that's likely as close as I'm going to get, to TG dinner, for one.
Do I need it? Well, that depends on what part of me, we're talking about. My waistline does not. But my brain probably does, to avoid a major crash into the pit of depression. So I'll probably go for it.

If you don't eat eggs, mayo, or mustard. You're going to have to keep looking.
Does the store you shop at, have a deli, you can get something from.

Really, I have no good suggestions for you. Sorry about that. I wish I did. ♡

[Pink Cashmere]

Mister and I just had a conversation. I told him that I’d be a damn fool to be over 25 years in with my employer, and able to retire in 5-7 years, to give the retirement money and benefits up by giving up my job, and let all of that go, trying to mooch off of him. That just doesn’t even make logical sense. I am so deeply offended, not only because of the implications that I am a gold digger, but because he must also think I am stupid and a dummy and not intelligent at all, if he thinks I’ve dealt with all the shit I have with my employer, for all these years, to now just give up the end goal….. a decent retirement with benefits that many jobs these days don’t offer….. when I am so close to the light at the end of the tunnel. Just to suddenly be trifling and try to mooch off of and depend on him. Like I am BooBoo the Fool.

If I were willing to be objective and honest , I would say that overall, the conversation was productive, but I am ornery enough these days, angry enough all over again, and still so deep in my feelings, that I really want to say that it’s still all a bunch of BULLSHIT.

How did I even get here?!

[Pink Cashmere]

On a lighter note, I saw again today, a FB post where the question was asking Black folks who is BooBoo the Fool that we refer to. The answer was “We don’t know who it is, but we know who it isn’t”. And that has been funny to me every time I’ve seen it. 

[countrygirl2]

Lost my post, sigh.

Anyway a Kinetico is a water softener system and a good one. We have an add on for the kitchen sink with different filters that gives us crystal clear, wonderful tasting water for drinking, ice, and cooking. I think if you have contaminants it can hold up to 6 different kinds of filters. We have city water but has iron and lots of chlorine in it that I want removed. And since we are at the end of a water line, we get more dirt and stuff than a lot of places do, so we have a big whole house filter for that. The people that built the house said they had to add it for those reasons.

We get the filters changed once a year, this year twice because the water company had to repair their line and it let stuff get in the line.

I'm trying to get a Berkley filter for  the Washington place, its a countertop filter and want it just for drinking and cooking water. They have a well for the park with about 60 people on it and it has a lot of chlorine in it. By the time DD and I left our hair was stiffer and I did not like the taste. My skin felt rough too, we are used to this soft water here. We were buying bottled water and that's a pain in the butt to get those and carry in the house. Hubs does not want to spend for a system like that up there but he agrees he is concerned about the water there. So I have been trying to find one and they are sold out everywhere! I did find filters for the 2 showers $60 each and can just screw on and add the shower head on the end. Can get those for $60 each and will at least take the chlorine out for our showers, that will help our skin and hair, we both have dry skin. They will last a year so not a bad price. The filters for the big Berkley last about the same time. The Berkley runs from $400 to $600 depending on size of output, like the $400 one will work for us.  

I just can't drink some of the awful water. One thing about Texas where we lived the well water we had was awesome.

[NastyWoman]

Nov 20, 2023 19:50:02 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

On another note, last night when I got home from work, I asked Mister if he’d made an appointment with his counselor. He said no. I said “you say there are some things we need to work out, and you need to work on you. Do you feel like you can do that without help from a professional?” He said “No. Well make the appointment then”. NO SIR! I can’t make an appointment for you, and if you mean an appointment for us to go together, I’m not interested in that at this time. My appointments (when I can get a damn appointment) are for me to work on ME. Even if I never get another appointment, I am still thinking “me” now, and not “we”. I am watching what he does, way more than I am paying any attention to what he says. And if he can’t be bothered to show me something real, or even make his own appointments, that tells me much more than his words do. 

For me, this is not a game, this is my fucking life. This shit will not just blow over and if he thinks I will just pretend that he hasn’t said and done the things he’s said and did, just for the sake of staying in a relationship with him, without him doing some real work to show me something different, the gold digger shit is the least of the problems, because he really must not know me at all. One thing I’ve never done, and will never do, is be good to a man that’s not good to me. 

 

[NastyWoman]

My Fire tablet is irritating me. There are Amazon ads on TV and every time someone on TV says Alexa my tablet goes on full alert and freezes everything else 

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2023 21:36:17 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Mister and I just had a conversation. I told him that I’d be a damn fool to be over 25 years in with my employer, and able to retire in 5-7 years, to give the retirement money and benefits up by giving up my job, and let all of that go, trying to mooch off of him. That just doesn’t even make logical sense. I am so deeply offended, not only because of the implications that I am a gold digger, but because he must also think I am stupid and a dummy and not intelligent at all, if he thinks I’ve dealt with all the shit I have with my employer, for all these years, to now just give up the end goal….. a decent retirement with benefits that many jobs these days don’t offer….. when I am so close to the light at the end of the tunnel. Just to suddenly be trifling and try to mooch off of and depend on him. Like I am BooBoo the Fool.

If I were willing to be objective and honest , I would say that overall, the conversation was productive, but I am ornery enough these days, angry enough all over again, and still so deep in my feelings, that I really want to say that it’s still all a bunch of BULLSHIT.

How did I even get here?!

Its not how you got here, its how he got there. I.e. when did he start listening to the baby mommas and the others jealous of you and start believing you were after his money? I would burn it all down, and kind of have in the past because to me its more important we match and support each other regardless of current economic circumstances than have some belief in wealth that may or may not exist in the future. I'm not that kind of fool, but maybe he's feeling the money and talking to who knows who.

I walked away from my almost second husband for some things that kind of echo your situation in a weird way, although then he was living with me in my old, better apartment and he had a guaranteed future retirement in another country. Being me, and never having any guarantees for my future, it was something that was both a potential carrot and a potential trap. We had decades to survive to get there, and we are both still south of 65. I'm losing my trains of thought, but lets just say there could have been serious money in my distant future had I stayed with him. It was not now money, and fwiw I bought him a used car back then. To be fair, he reminded me I did turn down the option of his 300K mile Camry from the year 2000. Bad timing and in that moment, it did not seem like a good idea. Now six months into bus lifestyle hell and shopping possibilities ... I should have at least looked at and seen if the car would hang on for me. Or whether it was hanging in there partly because of him and how he took care of it.


I will probably edit or delete part of this tomorrow. Stil hydrating up and trying to make sense with a brain on too little sleep.
So read paragraph one and maybe ignore the rest. There are points in there but they are probably obscured by Opti dying Ferrari mode and sound like incomprehensible babble. 

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2023 21:00:28 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Nov 20, 2023 20:46:43 GMT -5 Opti said:

Suggestions for TG for one at home are welcome. I will be placing a grocery order probably tomorrow as Wednesday will be risky for delivery and getting enough of what I ordered. (I currently limit myself to ordering every two weeks because of the delivery fee overhead.)

I like turkey, but I don't need it. I like stuffing but Stovetop isn't the best for me so I don't need that either. I would like something I can heat up in the oven as I don't have a microwave. I might splurge a little, IDK. Right now to save money I rarely buy frozen lunches for work even though its so much easier than making somethine every day or even assembling enough b4 I have to be out the door to wait for the bus.

The grocery store does not carry many non dairy options I like. I eat meat, fish and fowl although I try to eat more veg because of my age and heart health. 

Do you eat eggs? I'm considering, egg salad sandwiches. I had Stove top, yesterday and the day before.
Egg salad sandwiches on super soft/fresh bread, or rolls, remind me of deviled eggs and I enjoy certain bread/rolls. So that's likely as close as I'm going to get, to TG dinner, for one.
Do I need it? Well, that depends on what part of me, we're talking about. My waistline does not. But my brain probably does, to avoid a major crash into the pit of depression. So I'll probably go for it.

If you don't eat eggs, mayo, or mustard. You're going to have to keep looking.
Does the store you shop at, have a deli, you can get something from.

Really, I have no good suggestions for you. Sorry about that. I wish I did. ♡

I have to replace my eggs in the fridge. I could order eggs and make salmon cakes for one of my meals, Thinking of ordering some very nice Challah rolls too. Egg salad has never been my thing and someday I might get into deviled eggs. The only egg thing my mom made that I like was what she called egg pancakes. Basically  thick versions of crepes. Not all that healthy but OK.
I do have some potato bread I was thinking of turning into french toast and topping it with berry spread I have.

The store has a deli, but I don't know if there is even a way to order what I might want for delivery, Store I know do not deliver would be an excellent place to pick through their salad bar Wednesday or Thursday if if was open during the few hours to make life easier for us customers. Wish I had a minion to send out or at  least shop for me.

[countrygirl2]

You know I can remember growing up when I complained of not getting to go and do like other kids. My dad would say, you have plenty of time to enjoy life when you grow up. Their work ethic was strong and I learned at a young age I was expected to work. And I did at home.

I loved to read, dad didn't mind that, but mom thought it was a waste and wanted me to help. She worked hard at a small factory and back then we were pretty poor. Only a water tap, cold, on the kitchen sink, outdoor john, slop jar, no bathroom, coal stoves, so it was hard and constant work. Wringer washer, a cold house, but it was clean. I learned to iron young, do laundry, and more. Partly because I wanted to, but partly because we lived in the country and I was home alone and nothing else to do but work. I know mom needed help, it was all she could do a lot of nights to stay awake long enough to get things done. Until I got in high school they had a tough time making ends meet, dad had more work than and life improved. But I will never forget those years. And hubs just started working for farmers when young. He hung out around the local elevator and started working for guys for nothing. Later he worked for farmers around there. He was just as thrifty back than as he is now. 

Just all both of us knew was work I guess. But we took pleasure in our accomplishments. But it left us with few hobbies, though I have more than he does. 

[countrygirl2]

I like salmon cakes, only one here that does however.

[Pink Cashmere]

I am also aware that the holiday season is upon us, and that is surely having an effect on Mister. Thanksgiving and Christmas last year, we’re both weird, because his Mom was in the hospital. His parents were the ones in the family that hosted holiday dinners, so besides all the other meaningful stuff surrounding those holidays, it was weird that his parents were unable to do what they’d done for decades. Mister and I had already broke pattern some years and did our own thing, trying to start our own traditions, but last year was still something different, without what I guess was somewhat of a safety net as far as being familiar.

And now, this year, BOTH of his parents are gone. Last year was different, but at least both of his parents were alive, so there was hope that last year was just an odd year, and there was still the possibility of more family time in the future. But it didn’t work out like that. It is still difficult even for me, to wrap my mind around the fact that both of them are gone…..  in such a short amount of time.

If I struggle with trying to make that make sense, I can only imagine how much worse it must be for Mister.

I asked him a few days ago if he wanted to have Thanksgiving dinner, and he said “Fuck Thanksgiving” and I said okay. He came back and asked if I wanted to do it and said it was okay if I wanted it. I said nope, I’m good. I ended up getting drafted to work Thanksgiving Day anyway, and for the first time ever, I am kind of relieved to have an excuse to not deal with the holiday.

I don’t see things getting any better during the rest of the holiday season. I don’t even remember last Christmas. But I do remember how on New Year’s Eve, we went and bought BBQ, and took it and his Dad, and some NYE masks and decorations that OD had bought, to the hospital for Mr. Messy to bring the New Year in with his wife. And he didn’t even want to go.

I understand that a lot has happened that has rocked Mister’s world. But it’s not like I wasn’t also along for the ride and so uncaring that none of it meant anything to me. I cared about his parents too, and I cared about Mister having to deal with everything that happened. I actually cared about Mr. Messy, because there were years of me seeing him in a much better light before how he was after his wife got sick. But as horrible as it all was, the trauma and grief is not a reason for Mister to turn on me and try to make me be a bad person and act a fool. That is just not acceptable to me, whatever the circumstances. 

I will just hush now and go to bed.

[finnime]

Good morning, industrious invisipeeps, keeping your lives moving ahead. Welcome to Tuesday. I hope you enjoy equanimity this day, and ice cream. And that you all follow Pink Cashmere's mantra and allow no one to mistreat you in any way. Life is too short.

Thank you for the info on the Covid tests, TheOtherMe. I've ordered 8 for us. There has been a definite uptick in case counts. I've noticed more people wearing masks when out and about, too.

Initial visit with PCP yesterday went well for both DH and me. She's good, kind and thorough and doesn't insist on anything that you opine is not needed. In my case that would be a pap smear. I've been in a monogamous relationship for over 23 years. Since guidance came out that it was not needed in this sort of case; that it frequently led to overtreatment of benign conditions, I've declined. So nice not to have to argue to get my pov across.

Today I'll be in high gear readying for Thanksgiving. Lots to do to prepare the house and start meal components. I think I'll be able to avoid any grocery stores between yesterday and Friday or maybe later.

Dawn yesterday was pretty but uneventful. The air was so clear--no clouds--that you could see across the bay to the distinct islands. I took this picture of the lighted channel marker, leading ships in and out to the open ocean. It's a mile or two out, I think.

[daisylu]

Been up since 2, so about 4 hours of sleep. At least today is my last work day this week.

[Opti]

Not sure how much sleep I got last night, but I think is has to be less than four hours which is a danger point for me. Will call in a refill on something that helps me sleep, that I only take when very sick like now.

Have my first telephone appointment this morning. Anything it would be helpful to know? Its with a doctor in my doctor's practice who I have never met. It will be via my smart phone which will be interesting. My VOIP landline type phone has better sound quality, but the Iphone has a camera so she will be able to see me.

[Opti]

Nov 21, 2023 3:51:02 GMT -5 finnime said:

Good morning, industrious invisipeeps, keeping your lives moving ahead. Welcome to Tuesday. I hope you enjoy equanimity this day, and ice cream. And that you all follow Pink Cashmere 's mantra and allow no one to mistreat you in any way. Life is too short.

Thank you for the info on the Covid tests, TheOtherMe . I've ordered 8 for us. There has been a definite uptick in case counts. I've noticed more people wearing masks when out and about, too.

Initial visit with PCP yesterday went well for both DH and me. She's good, kind and thorough and doesn't insist on anything that you opine is not needed. In my case that would be a pap smear. I've been in a monogamous relationship for over 23 years. Since guidance came out that it was not needed in this sort of case; that it frequently led to overtreatment of benign conditions, I've declined. So nice not to have to argue to get my pov across.

Today I'll be in high gear readying for Thanksgiving. Lots to do to prepare the house and start meal components. I think I'll be able to avoid any grocery stores between yesterday and Friday or maybe later.

Dawn yesterday was pretty but uneventful. The air was so clear--no clouds--that you could see across the bay to the distinct islands. I took this picture of the lighted channel marker, leading ships in and out to the open ocean. It's a mile or two out, I think.

I aspire to take photos like you do, only with my spin. Tried hitting magic hour this weekend to take pics of some fall trees. Too clear in NJ right now so no pretty colors like you are getting. Love the blue pink thing going on. 

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2023 23:51:07 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I am also aware that the holiday season is upon us, and that is surely having an effect on Mister. Thanksgiving and Christmas last year, we’re both weird, because his Mom was in the hospital. His parents were the ones in the family that hosted holiday dinners, so besides all the other meaningful stuff surrounding those holidays, it was weird that his parents were unable to do what they’d done for decades. Mister and I had already broke pattern some years and did our own thing, trying to start our own traditions, but last year was still something different, without what I guess was somewhat of a safety net as far as being familiar.

And now, this year, BOTH of his parents are gone. Last year was different, but at least both of his parents were alive, so there was hope that last year was just an odd year, and there was still the possibility of more family time in the future. But it didn’t work out like that. It is still difficult even for me, to wrap my mind around the fact that both of them are gone…..  in such a short amount of time.

If I struggle with trying to make that make sense, I can only imagine how much worse it must be for Mister.

I asked him a few days ago if he wanted to have Thanksgiving dinner, and he said “Fuck Thanksgiving” and I said okay. He came back and asked if I wanted to do it and said it was okay if I wanted it. I said nope, I’m good. I ended up getting drafted to work Thanksgiving Day anyway, and for the first time ever, I am kind of relieved to have an excuse to not deal with the holiday.

I don’t see things getting any better during the rest of the holiday season. I don’t even remember last Christmas. But I do remember how on New Year’s Eve, we went and bought BBQ, and took it and his Dad, and some NYE masks and decorations that OD had bought, to the hospital for Mr. Messy to bring the New Year in with his wife. And he didn’t even want to go.

I understand that a lot has happened that has rocked Mister’s world. But it’s not like I wasn’t also along for the ride and so uncaring that none of it meant anything to me. I cared about his parents too, and I cared about Mister having to deal with everything that happened. I actually cared about Mr. Messy, because there were years of me seeing him in a much better light before how he was after his wife got sick. But as horrible as it all was, the trauma and grief is not a reason for Mister to turn on me and try to make me be a bad person and act a fool. That is just not acceptable to me, whatever the circumstances. 

I will just hush now and go to bed

Pink, try to remember Mister is a guy, not a woman. His Fuck TG was an emotional response in the moment. Sounds like once he had more time to think about it he would be open to a small TG of whatever you are willing to do. I've been told the experience of being a double orphan is life changing over and above the death of one parent. I am in the double orphan waiting room. My dad
is doing badly and most importantly does not want to live anymore. 

[daisylu]

Hope you feel better soon, opti.

We've had teledoc appointments for simple obvious illnesses like pinkeye & UTIs. Those were very simple and less than 10 minutes long. Hope yours goes well.

[ners]

Finishing breakfast.  Need to get moving for the day.

[Opti]

Nov 21, 2023 6:59:26 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Hope you feel better soon, opti.

We've had teledoc appointments for simple obvious illnesses like pinkeye & UTIs. Those were very simple and less than 10 minutes long. Hope yours goes well.

This will be for my barking cough/lack of sleep. Likely flu plus sinus & allergy issues. 
Do they call in scrips for you after these short appointments?

[daisylu]

Nov 21, 2023 7:06:02 GMT -5 Opti said:

Nov 21, 2023 6:59:26 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Hope you feel better soon, opti.

We've had teledoc appointments for simple obvious illnesses like pinkeye & UTIs. Those were very simple and less than 10 minutes long. Hope yours goes well.

This will be for my barking cough/lack of sleep. Likely flu plus sinus & allergy issues. 
Do they call in scrips for you after these short appointments?

They do. I have gotten antibiotics for UTIs twice and DH has gotten drops for pinkeye. They sent it to my local pharmacy and scripts were ready within an hour. I was impressed.

We are between doctors right now so this has been very helpful and way cheaper than visiting an urgent care center. $45 vs $160. I did have a tele visit with my last doctor, practice has been sold and I do not want to continue with the new company, when I had Covid in 2021. My cough was so bad I slept probably 2 hours from Friday until Monday. That doctor called in a script for "cough pearls" and my other symptoms drastically improved once I was able to sleep. 

[Opti]

What are cough pearls? Right now my cough is not that debilitating, but I don't want it to develop into asthma or bronchitis either. 

[daisylu]

Nov 21, 2023 7:23:05 GMT -5 Opti said:

What are cough pearls? Right now my cough is not that debilitating, but I don't want it to develop into asthma or bronchitis either. 

A prescription for cough. I thought they were called that because of what they look like, but there actual name is Tessalon Perles, or Benzonatate (generic name).

They are the only thing that works for me. Prescription cough syrup does nothing.

link