what are you doing right now?

[taz157]

I took this week off from work - actually Monday through Wednesday while Thursday and Friday are holidays for me. I’ve dropped off DD1 at school, walked on the treadmill, cleaned our bathroom, showered, ate breakfast, gave DD1’s birds some clean water, and now I’m tackling DD2’s room while she’s at daycare. DH took DD2 to daycare. We’ll see how long it takes to get DD2’s room straighten out. Depending on that depends what I do next.

I want to make a stop at Goodwill later today or tomorrow as I want some things out of our house!!

FWIW, DD1 has school today and tomorrow while DD2 will be daycare today through Wednesday. Time to get some stuff done while they are out of the house!! 😁 I had thoughts of painting some bathrooms, but that won’t happen. Oh well! I’m more concerned with cleaning out some of stuff while my littlest “helper” isn’t around. 😉

[TheOtherMe]

I'm sorry about Elmer.

I try not to over use my 3 nephews and niece.  My niece was very kind and helpful when I was dealing with the blood clots.  DN1 will listen to me when I need to talk about his mother and I get to talk to the Toddler in exchange.

DN2 sometimes accompanies DN3 when he comes to do things.  It's been a long time since he has helped with things.  He bought his own farm that is about 45 minutes away so during planting and harvest, he is very busy.  His job also makes them come in to the office a certain number of days a week.  That means he isn't always here.

DN3 is the most helpful.  As far as I am concerned, he owes me a lot of cat sitting since they have stored their stuff in my basement far longer than anticipated when it went down there.  Sister says I am taking advantage of him.  No, he is not paying for a storage unit which was one of the reasons he asked to store stuff in my basement.

[andi9899]

Nov 20, 2023 10:39:57 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Nov 20, 2023 10:34:07 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Can you ask them?

They have told them self such a story that they don't want to be in the same room with me right now--well as of Friday. 

My perception is exceptionally different from theirs. 
I can be a rude, dismissive person. However, I have not been in this case. I have --as the person's supervisor/evaluator--asked the person to work on some areas of their job description. They've decided that this is "targeting". 

Can you meet with a third party included to hash it out? That way if anyone is abrasive, the third party can point it out.

I feel your pain. I come across as rude or intimidating when that is not my intent. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it.

[andi9899]

For some reason the lid on my blender doesn't want to close right. It takes some force to get it closed. Normally I'd say screw it and use a paper plate or something as a lid, but this blender won't work if the lid isn't on it right. Amazon has them for $70. For $70 for a freaking lid, I might as well just get a whole new blender on a black Friday sale. I need to check the Ninja site and see what they have.

[Pink Cashmere]

My Aunt’s husband has gotten plenty of calls for help over the years. One Christmas Eve, late at night, my Mom called my Aunt crying because she couldn’t figure out how to put together a train set Santa was supposed to be bringing my brother. My Mom didn’t usually have trouble with things like that, so my Aunt and Uncle came over to help her out it together. I thought that was very sweet of them.

When I bought my house, he and his friend came over and fixed the trim along the baseboards of my living room and hallway. He hung a door on my shed for me. He and his electrician friend came over and figured out why my dryer kept tripping the breaker. When my Mom locked herself outside in my back yard while I was at work (the gate to the fence required a key to unlock it, so Mom was trapped), he went over and got her back inside the house. When DS was a teenager and tore a window screen, my Uncle came over and showed DS how to replace the screen in the frame. My uncle and his friends would never except money, so I learned to have a big bottle of his favorite liquor to “pay” him with. I’ve called him countless times for advice, asking if what somebody told me about fixing my car or my house sounded right.

I’ve already told y’all how he did most of the cooking when he, my Aunt and my cousin took care of everything regarding feeding Mister’s family after Mister’s Mom’s funeral back in February. It was a lot of work, and they wouldn’t even let us reimburse them for the cost of the food. I will insist Mister give them nice gift cards for Christmas.

And I’m “just” the niece. He’s never needed me to do anything, but if he had, or ever does, I’d be happy to do it. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My dad helps a lot.  We try not to take advantage but then I get a lecture about getting myself ripped off going someplace to get my oil replaced instead of letting him do it.

I do pay him for parts whole sale.  He doesn't charge me for labor.  Then we in turn help him when needed.  I'll do something small for him for time to time like I got him really nice chocolate when we were in Des Moines.  I think he was bored he fixed our faucet, our back door and a couple other things we didn't even ask about while letting Wilbur out.

I babysit the pugs when he is out of town.  I joked that he had been replaced the last time I am now Bingo's God. 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Speaking of family and neighbors, I lost TWO neighbors in the past 5 days!  (Well, one of them is still technically alive, but brain dead, the family unplugged her on Friday and she kept on breathing and her heart didn't stop, so I don't know what they're going to do now). I wasn't real close to either of these two but it still hits when we've been neighbors so long. The father of one of them is the guy who sold me the land 30 years ago and we were pals, but he passed away a few years ago and his daughter moved into the house.  I'm quickly becoming one of the old people in the area where as I was the "kid" when I moved here.

[jerseygirl]

Pink, I love how your uncle TAUGHT your DS how to replace the screen. So much better than just doing it. Taught your DS a skill, and to take responsibility for repairing something he broke
And that family steps in to help. I’ve seen your posts on how your DS is happy to help you!

[alabamagal]

DS and his GF will be here tonight for holiday. Looking forward to visit.

DS is not a typical 29 yo. He has always been an “old soul.” He has requested that we go to Costco and check out the meat department so he can plan out what he needs to get for hosting Christmas. You would think he is just nervous about hosting, but he has done it before. And done really well. He has a high end wood pellet grill and a good local butcher and made some fantastic meals in the past. But ok we can go to Costco. I hate the Costco here.

[countrygirl2]

Son helped me when up in Washington, he put all my new curtain rods up and hung my drapes in the living room. He helped hubs move all the furniture into the mobile. He comes and gets us and takes us back to the airport if he can otherwise DIL does. They don't complain, but I know us flying in late is less than desirable but only non stop flight out of Indi to there. A real pain in the butt situation. He will fix stuff if needed, but the place is in pretty good condition.

I told hubs both or one of us could last 20 more years will that place last? He said its a 50 year old modular now and in good shape, he doesn't see why not. We are debating on just adding some storage and staying there instead of buying another house. Hard to move from this high end home though to a "trailer", at least it is for me.  I talked about buying a better, bigger one, but hate to do that too. I don't know will see how it goes. It's handy, close to the kids, and we don't have a lot of money in it even with the rent. The rent is still less than property taxes on most homes up there and our taxes there are cheap.

Our neighbor does help hubs with stuff and hubs does the same for him, neither of them is young anymore. But they still can do a lot. We will have to see if hubs still can, I hope so. He will help anyone here do anything and has garages worth of supplies. If people are fixing something and need a piece of something hubs usually has it and gives it to them. It many times saves them a trip tot he city. We don't mind.

Took DD to chiro, makes her feel better around her back, neck, and shoulders.  I went by Walmart and got her another Xmas outfit, all green this time. A vest sweater, shirt, and pants, more army green to me but looks very nice on her. The Time and Tru brand fits her well and they wear pretty good too. Good thing as not much else around here. So she can mix and match when we go to Washington for Xmas. I may get her one more. I bought myself a gold colored jeans and sweater at Pennys, that looks good too. And I bought her a white and red head bands. I always told her if she lost weight I would see she has pretty clothes and I am. It was hard to find her pretty stuff before. 

When we came home the dryer was running, I said is that still going? Hubs said no, I washed and dried and folded a load for you. I'm going oh no, that last load was new clothes and I was separating the colors the first time, he said to late. But I looked and somehow he didn't turn it on, so that was good. Likely would been ok but red and gold, I don't know. So did those separately just in case. But I appreciated the help.

For dinner I think will be leftovers, of baked beans an potato salad, and some meat, maybe hot dogs.

Waiting on 2 to leave to have my hair touched up, DD may go, doesn't matter to me. I ordered a bunch of her meds today too. Need to see what I need also. 

[chiver78]

Nov 20, 2023 12:21:44 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

My dad helps a lot.  We try not to take advantage but then I get a lecture about getting myself ripped off going someplace to get my oil replaced instead of letting him do it.

I do pay him for parts whole sale.  He doesn't charge me for labor.  Then we in turn help him when needed.  I'll do something small for him for time to time like I got him really nice chocolate when we were in Des Moines.  I think he was bored he fixed our faucet, our back door and a couple other things we didn't even ask about while letting Wilbur out.

I babysit the pugs when he is out of town.  I joked that he had been replaced the last time I am now Bingo's God. 

same. in my first condo, I just let him do his thing. in my townhouse, I wouldn't let him touch anything unless he showed me what he was doing. he was still smarting from having gotten shown up when I asked to borrow his driveway to change my brakes after I broke up with the ex whose tools I used to use. well, I showed up and he shooed me away so he would just do it himself. I chuckled, b/c it was my rear brakes that time. apologies for the fuzzy description, it's been over a decade lol... but the front brake caliper was one that you'd compress to get it to fit. the rear ones were actually threaded and you had to screw it back together. he was cursing up a storm for a good 15min before I finally asked him if he wanted help. hey, you wanted to just crank it out, but I actually knew what I was doing since I'd been doing my own brakes on that car for a few years already. I just needed the tools.     he doesn't pull that anymore. but it took that kind of "here, let me show you this thing that you think I don't know how to do..." moment to get there. 

as far as "paying" for the help, I send my parents home with food every time they come down. either things my mom won't cook, or things that she can't* - they are still without an oven. I buy materials for everything, and the tools if my dad realizes he forgot something. 

*they are still in the hotel.     but, progress - they are actually going to house showings and coming out with specific critiques that aren't just bullshit as to why they will pass on that particular place. my dad is coming around to the idea of working less, which will help them justify buying where they want to be out in the country. that area isn't as conducive to Dad continuing to work even the 3x/wk he has been. 

[countrygirl2]

Think I want a couple pair of new orthotics for Xmas about $300. And I want to get hubs 2 well fitting western shirts, long sleeved for him. But he needs to try them on.. His are wearing out. Need to check and see if they still make PanHandle Slims. He is down to 218 so looking pretty good, he is working at losing weight.

Since we are going to pay $30 to $40k for a garage for son and DIL probably won't give them much for Xmas this year. Already have most of little guys bought. And DD, there is a challenge, never know what to get her, but will find some things.

I need to buy a tree for up there even if I do mail ornaments. Going to get a white one so I can do a different color each year. And also out door ornaments and blow ups. We are at the end of a street but our yard backs up to the mail street so can put some things out there on the other side of the fence, Hubs needs to work on the gate. It is rarely opened and in poor condition.

Ok, time to get ready to go, later all.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Back from the grocery store, got everything on the list, plus some (as usual).  I need to figure out what to make for dinner tonight.  

Tossed the  turkey wings into the oven to roast off before the stock pot.  Want to get that started today.  Also got to pack up some jeans to send back to Talbots, wrong size.  I’ll drop those off when I go pick up rd from work to get his car.  

My niece is flying in Wed. for Thanksgiving.  I think we are going up for dim sum on Friday.  Not sure what’s planned the rest of the time.

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2023 9:54:19 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Nov 20, 2023 9:35:54 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

minnesotapaintlady   wish I lived closer I would start up a search party for Elmer. I may be wrong but your tails of Elmer's escapades kept me entertained more than once on this board. But if not same chicken I hope Elmer turns up soon. 

I think the odds of him showing up at this point are slim to none, he's been gone since Friday.  I took a spotlight into the barn last night and went through as much of the crap in the front half of the barn as I could in case he was trapped. Maybe he go outside and the neighbors had someone over with a dog or a coyote passed through? The hens are all fine, but he's not very fast with his crippled foot.  No sign of anything though.  There are feathers laying around all over in the barn because they were all molting last month, so I can't go by that.  It's a complete mystery and I hate not knowing. If you see a pile of feathers in the yard at least it's "well, something got the rooster". 

I get it. I still think about Raphael the water dragon from time to time. He escaped from his sunning cage a shortly before I was moving out of my last house. Since they are tree climbers, I figured he bolted somewhere and then went up a tree. Unlike AJ the bearded dragon I did not take him out much, but I wanted to sun him a bit and sadly he got too hot, pushed his way out the top and was gone before I could get to him. 

I always wonder if he managed to survive the winter by going into someone's attic.

[toomuchreality]

Nov 20, 2023 7:24:33 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I can't imagine being relieved to not have to ask my husband to do something so small for my mom.

Unfortunately, I can. Her dad is just as bad. No. He's worse. And proud of it.

Sometimes people suck. Big time!

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2023 14:15:48 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Nov 20, 2023 7:24:33 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I can't imagine being relieved to not have to ask my husband to do something so small for my mom.

Unfortunately, I can. Her dad is just as bad. No. He's worse. And proud of it.

Sometimes people suck. Big time!

And some are more selfish and transactional than others. My youngest sister is more like me than our other sister. The other aka MS
is less likely to help me if it inconveniences her versus my other sister. YS, lived with me at college for a couple of years and they are both close in age and shared a room growing up. YS probably has the best relationships with her sisters. MS, thinks of her nuclear family as a self sufficient four pack now, so is unlikely to do much for me except want to bend my ear. Her kids are adults and YS and I never had kids. I'm divorced and she is never married.

When my dad dies, which I expect will be in the next year, it will change the family dynamics yet again. (Right now only dad and YS are in our home state. MS and her hubby built a house and moved to TN recently.)

[Opti]

Nov 20, 2023 13:44:37 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Think I want a couple pair of new orthotics for Xmas about $300. And I want to get hubs 2 well fitting western shirts, long sleeved for him. But he needs to try them on.. His are wearing out. Need to check and see if they still make PanHandle Slims. He is down to 218 so looking pretty good, he is working at losing weight.

Since we are going to pay $30 to $40k for a garage for son and DIL probably won't give them much for Xmas this year. Already have most of little guys bought. And DD, there is a challenge, never know what to get her, but will find some things.

I need to buy a tree for up there even if I do mail ornaments. Going to get a white one so I can do a different color each year. And also out door ornaments and blow ups. We are at the end of a street but our yard backs up to the mail street so can put some things out there on the other side of the fence, Hubs needs to work on the gate. It is rarely opened and in poor condition.

Ok, time to get ready to go, later all.

Orthotics can be a very wise investment. I would love to get a custom pair made again, and it would probably run me at least $400 if not higher.

[NastyWoman]

Nov 20, 2023 7:24:33 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I can't imagine being relieved to not have to ask my husband to do something so small for my mom.

 I have been divorced for almost 20 years but if I asked xH to help my mom with something like this he would have me locked up in the loony bin - but only  because mom died in 1987. If she were alive, and he lived nearby, he would help her. There is no doubt in my mind and there are good reasons for us we to be divorced. 

[soupandstew]

Internet and TV went out about 9 this morning and ATT said system outage in area, with repairs forecast to last until 9 p.m.  Internet is back now, but no TV yet.  I thought this would be a good chance to re-start my reading and went looking for my Kindle to put on the charger.  DH and I have both searched the house from stem to stern and there is no sign of it.  I'm 99.9% sure it came back from vacation in September so ??  

Oh well, if it doesn't turn up in a few weeks, I'll order another one.  It will either pop up in a very weird location someday or be like Jimmy Hoffa.

[daisylu]

Nov 20, 2023 13:38:50 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Son helped me when up in Washington, he put all my new curtain rods up and hung my drapes in the living room. He helped hubs move all the furniture into the mobile. He comes and gets us and takes us back to the airport if he can otherwise DIL does. They don't complain, but I know us flying in late is less than desirable but only non stop flight out of Indi to there. A real pain in the butt situation. He will fix stuff if needed, but the place is in pretty good condition.

I told hubs both or one of us could last 20 more years will that place last? He said its a 50 year old modular now and in good shape, he doesn't see why not. We are debating on just adding some storage and staying there instead of buying another house. Hard to move from this high end home though to a "trailer", at least it is for me.  I talked about buying a better, bigger one, but hate to do that too. I don't know will see how it goes. It's handy, close to the kids, and we don't have a lot of money in it even with the rent. The rent is still less than property taxes on most homes up there and our taxes there are cheap.

Our neighbor does help hubs with stuff and hubs does the same for him, neither of them is young anymore. But they still can do a lot. We will have to see if hubs still can, I hope so. He will help anyone here do anything and has garages worth of supplies. If people are fixing something and need a piece of something hubs usually has it and gives it to them. It many times saves them a trip tot he city. We don't mind.

Took DD to chiro, makes her feel better around her back, neck, and shoulders.  I went by Walmart and got her another Xmas outfit, all green this time. A vest sweater, shirt, and pants, more army green to me but looks very nice on her. The Time and Tru brand fits her well and they wear pretty good too. Good thing as not much else around here. So she can mix and match when we go to Washington for Xmas. I may get her one more. I bought myself a gold colored jeans and sweater at Pennys, that looks good too. And I bought her a white and red head bands. I always told her if she lost weight I would see she has pretty clothes and I am. It was hard to find her pretty stuff before. 

When we came home the dryer was running, I said is that still going? Hubs said no, I washed and dried and folded a load for you. I'm going oh no, that last load was new clothes and I was separating the colors the first time, he said to late. But I looked and somehow he didn't turn it on, so that was good. Likely would been ok but red and gold, I don't know. So did those separately just in case. But I appreciated the help.

For dinner I think will be leftovers, of baked beans an potato salad, and some meat, maybe hot dogs.

Waiting on 2 to leave to have my hair touched up, DD may go, doesn't matter to me. I ordered a bunch of her meds today too. Need to see what I need also. 

The mobile doesn't have to last until you both are gone. It can be a stop gap once you sell everything and move. Once you get there you can take your time finding something else. This is the perfect time to downgrade, before the government does it for you.
And your "high end house" is too much work for you at your age, in an area that you do not love. You have complained that you did not want to be there for years. You can spend time in the current modular close to your son and grandson for low money while you figure things other things out. This is one time that I agree with your DH. There is no need to rush into buying something else.

My 2 cents, worth what you paid for them.

[NastyWoman]

Nov 20, 2023 11:27:49 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 20, 2023 10:39:57 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

They have told them self such a story that they don't want to be in the same room with me right now--well as of Friday. 

My perception is exceptionally different from theirs. 
I can be a rude, dismissive person. However, I have not been in this case. I have --as the person's supervisor/evaluator--asked the person to work on some areas of their job description. They've decided that this is "targeting". 

Can you meet with a third party included to hash it out? That way if anyone is abrasive, the third party can point it out.

I feel your pain. I come across as rude or intimidating when that is not my intent. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it.

Actually I would tell that person that they are right. This IS targeting however, not of you as a person but of certain areas of your job performance and I need you to improve them. If I were feeling very irritated by that person I would add " because those areas are severely lacking". But that is just me. It is very difficult to tick me off but if you do start running...

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nov 20, 2023 13:38:50 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Son helped me when up in Washington, he put all my new curtain rods up and hung my drapes in the living room. He helped hubs move all the furniture into the mobile. He comes and gets us and takes us back to the airport if he can otherwise DIL does. They don't complain, but I know us flying in late is less than desirable but only non stop flight out of Indi to there. A real pain in the butt situation. He will fix stuff if needed, but the place is in pretty good condition.

I told hubs both or one of us could last 20 more years will that place last? He said its a 50 year old modular now and in good shape, he doesn't see why not. We are debating on just adding some storage and staying there instead of buying another house. Hard to move from this high end home though to a "trailer", at least it is for me.  I talked about buying a better, bigger one, but hate to do that too. I don't know will see how it goes. It's handy, close to the kids, and we don't have a lot of money in it even with the rent. The rent is still less than property taxes on most homes up there and our taxes there are cheap.

Our neighbor does help hubs with stuff and hubs does the same for him, neither of them is young anymore. But they still can do a lot. We will have to see if hubs still can, I hope so. He will help anyone here do anything and has garages worth of supplies. If people are fixing something and need a piece of something hubs usually has it and gives it to them. It many times saves them a trip tot he city. We don't mind.

Took DD to chiro, makes her feel better around her back, neck, and shoulders.  I went by Walmart and got her another Xmas outfit, all green this time. A vest sweater, shirt, and pants, more army green to me but looks very nice on her. The Time and Tru brand fits her well and they wear pretty good too. Good thing as not much else around here. So she can mix and match when we go to Washington for Xmas. I may get her one more. I bought myself a gold colored jeans and sweater at Pennys, that looks good too. And I bought her a white and red head bands. I always told her if she lost weight I would see she has pretty clothes and I am. It was hard to find her pretty stuff before. 

When we came home the dryer was running, I said is that still going? Hubs said no, I washed and dried and folded a load for you. I'm going oh no, that last load was new clothes and I was separating the colors the first time, he said to late. But I looked and somehow he didn't turn it on, so that was good. Likely would been ok but red and gold, I don't know. So did those separately just in case. But I appreciated the help.

For dinner I think will be leftovers, of baked beans an potato salad, and some meat, maybe hot dogs.

Waiting on 2 to leave to have my hair touched up, DD may go, doesn't matter to me. I ordered a bunch of her meds today too. Need to see what I need also. 

You constantly talk about how keeping up this house is killing you and your husband.  You've also said how much you hate it where you currently are.   On top of that the area you are in is not very elderly or disability friendly as you all continue to age.

The modular requires very little upkeep.  That is time you currently spend doing endless chores that can be spent with your grandkid and/or finally doing things you actually enjoy doing.  Your posts were a lot happier up there and not a list of endless chores.

I get it, some people just don't know how to NOT work.  You and your husband sound like those type of people.

House are just sticks and nails.  Whatever you chose to live in will have to be sold when you pass anyhow.  Your son has his own home and your DD can't have it for Medicaid purposes.  So who cares if the modular is a "nice" house compared to this one?  It keeps you dry and gives you a place to sleep right?  Enjoy the freedom having a "not nice" house is going to finally afford you.

Besides if the modular does not last 20+ years you just have to unload a modular instead of a huge property.  In the area you plan you move you likely have more options in terms of senior apartments/homes that you can move into when the time comes.   You have money and you will have more options up there.  

[TheOtherMe]

An FYI.  Every household can order 4 more of the Covid tests from the government.  I just did it.  

Now a really big thing.  My Colorado women's basketball team is ranked #3 in the country.  Yes #3.  The last time we were ranked that high was the year we made a run for the Final Four way back in 1994-95.   I know it's early, but I am so excited for the players and coaches.  

They are leaning heavily on the assistant coach who played on that team and was an All American on how to not let this go to their heads and play one game at a time.  

[NastyWoman]

Nov 20, 2023 15:32:13 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

An FYI.  Every household can order 4 more of the Covid tests from the government.  I just did it.  

We can do it again? I still have the four from last time but may want to add to the stash with all the holidays and travelling coming up

[chiver78]

Nov 20, 2023 15:36:59 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Nov 20, 2023 15:32:13 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

An FYI.  Every household can order 4 more of the Covid tests from the government.  I just did it.  

We can do it again? I still have the four from last time but may want to add to the stash with all the holidays and travelling coming up

I'm not sure when "last time" was, but yours are likely expired. 

[giramomma]

Nov 20, 2023 15:36:59 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Nov 20, 2023 15:32:13 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

An FYI.  Every household can order 4 more of the Covid tests from the government.  I just did it.  

We can do it again? I still have the four from last time but may want to add to the stash with all the holidays and travelling coming up

I would.

We used up some of our old stash. I got two faulty tests in the old stash. Control line never came up.

[lurkyloo]

I just got a box of Sanders bump cakes delivered 



(if this made any sense to you you may be a Midwesterner…)

[chiver78]

thanks for that qualifier, b/c I had no idea what you were talking about. I was just happy that you were happy. 

[toomuchreality]

I just heard from DD2. She said their plans on Thursday are to have dinner at her dad's at 5.
She said she hopes to pick up the tv and drop it off, before dinner, at 5. But she can't guarantee anything, because she's planning to use her DH's muscle, to do it.
So I guess, she has asked him to help. I told her, I'm happy to help, if I can (if she thinks she and I can do it.) That I don't want him to get hurt, or get upset about doing it, because I don't want them all to be miserable, on the holiday.
I'm not in a rush and I can work around their schedule, for the most part. Just keep me informed.

I asked about their plans for Friday, since that's the day, I normally go out and watch their girls. Did she want me to still come?
Yes. Because they will probably be putting up/out their Christmas decorations that day. Okay,that's fine.

I love my littles and don't want to do anything that will jeopaordize that.

One of my other thoughts about this situation is, that my Son in law, wants me to do my part, by getting the old tv removed, to make it easier to drop off the flat screen TV.
He doesn't want to be responsible or all of it. It's not his job. And he wants that to be clear. He's doing me a favor. DD2 and their children are his responsibility, not me. But like everything said previously, it's just speculation, on my part.

Just going to have to wait and see. It probably doesn't help, that they're having dinner at her dad's, as they but heads often. He dad wasn't allowed in their home, or to see their children, for about 3-4 months after that. To prove a point, they could get along, without him, after her dad threatened to stop watching the kids, 2 days per week.

That backfired big time on her dad.

I don't want to go "there". It's not worth it, to me.
Certainly not the hill I want to die on!

EX2, thought he could bluff better, or old out longer. Nope!


DD2 has stood up to her dad, for me, a few times, in recent months. That means a lot to me. It has never been done before. Her sun has always risen, on her dad. But now, she has heard the things he says to me, herself. Which have been totally inappropriate. At least that's one thing, in my favor.

Thanks for all the support! ❤



T

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Nov 20, 2023 14:33:15 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Nov 20, 2023 7:24:33 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I can't imagine being relieved to not have to ask my husband to do something so small for my mom.

 I have been divorced for almost 20 years but if I asked xH to help my mom with something like this he would have me locked up in the loony bin - but only  because mom died in 1987. If she were alive, and he lived nearby, he would help her. There is no doubt in my mind and there are good reasons for us we to be divorced. 

My XH and my mom got along well too. We never lived in the same state as my parents or his though. He is a good guy but turns out not good for me as a husband.