what are you doing right now?

[minnesotapaintlady]

I could really use a few more of these nice days to get stuff done, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.  I got the posts in for the snow fence today and cleaned the garage out.  Also got all the seats back in the van.  I'd been driving around with none in the back since moving DS into his new place.  That was a chore as they weigh a ton.

In other news Elmer is missing and most likely dead.  I don't know what could have happened to him as he never leaves the barn (actually never leaves the chicken stall in the barn), but when I went to feed last night he wasn't there.  The barn was closed, so nothing big could have got in and grabbed him and it was daytime so I can't see that a coon or skunk or something small enough would have wandered in.  There has been a stray cat around, so it's possible he got him, but it would be odd for a cat to take out a chicken I would think.  I'm hoping he didn't wander and get stuck somewhere in the barn and is trapped with no food or water, but he's never slipped through the fence to the front half before...he has a hard enough time trying to figure out how to get through the actual chicken door, so I can't see him doing it.  I looked for awhile anyhow, but it's a bit of a needle in the haystack.

[chiver78]

oh no, I'm sorry MPL. I hope you find Elmer just lost somewhere, and soon. 

so I'm sitting here wondering why I'm more awake at 1030pm than I was at 8pm, and whether I've missed my window to go to sleep for the night.      I'm going to head upstairs in a little bit to make up my bed with the fresh sheets I washed this morning. the pups have been snoring in two-part harmony for a couple hours now, I don't expect to disturb them when I get up and move. maybe I can doze off in the dark, in my comfy bed. 

[toomuchreality]

Nov 19, 2023 15:00:56 GMT -5 Opti said:

Nov 19, 2023 14:17:30 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

I called Got Junk to move my last TV. They wanted $120 just to take 1 TV! No way. I can't afford that.

DSIL will do it. But I know how he feels about doing it. It makes for an unpleasant experience, for Everyone, usually. In his words " Who do they think I am? The neighborhood moving man?" And that was when I just wanted him to drop off a carpet cleaner, to DD1. They lived 5 mins from me, and DD1 was 5 min from where they were going to. That time, he flat said, No. -I was shocked.

He has done things for me since, but the mood was obvious not good. No one spoke. Not even niceties. He came in, did it and they left. I don't want any of us to have to go through that again.
If he offers, that's one thing. He'll be decent about it. But if you ask, and he does it, watch out.

However, he did ask me to house sit for 10 days, in December. So it might be okay.

But they haven't visited me at my place, in probably 15 years, so there's that. I just don't want it to get ugly.

Since DD2 said SHE could probably bring the flat screen over, I'm guessing she doesn't want to ask for his help, or she did and was told no.

I hope I can find someone who wants it. Maybe for a kids room? Since it works. Then they can pick it up.

We'll see. I won't remind him of what I do for them. That's a guarantee of things getting REAL UGLY, REAL fast! BTDT.

How big was the TV? I think this is a 32 inch Sony from late 80s or early 90s. I can't really afford $120 either, but I think its holding me back mentally and has been dead for at least a year and a half. The only person who can help has uncertain short term handyman jobs and I have to plan way in advance because of my small office.

It reminds me of my XH, my deceased mom, and the fact I haven't watched a working TV for possibly two years. I have a cheap flat screen in the apartment that I can put there, but not until this is gone. I'll probably need help mounting the flatscreen or have to buy a new stand because they are long now instead of square, so the old stand won't work. I've had the cheap flatscreen more than two years and its past time.

I have no family in the area and sadly no long term friends who aren't north of 60 years old in the area. I don't know who could even help. 

Our situations are very close to the same. Very small apt, Can't afford a lot and no family/friends that are able to help. I'm sorry for the situation you're in. It sucks.

Luckily, for me, my neighbors, directly across from me, don't have a lot of extras, or money, so they're usually willing to take most of the things I offer them. I try to be selective about what I offer them. And usually, what I offer, is better than what they currently have.

They were really happy to take my old school TV. Mostly, because he has an old gaming system, that can't be connected to a new HDMI TV. So now he can hook it up, in their extra bedroom. And I gave them a stack of VHS movies, to watch on the VCR.

So my old tv is gone. Yay! And it didn't have to be carried far, or down any stairs. Whew!

Tomorrow, he's coming back to get the hundreds of CDs I want to get rid of and more VHS movies, along with the storage shelves/units, they're in. And a few DVDs.

I love my music, but I have Sirius XM radio, in my car. And Comcast has music channels, I like. So there are only a few CDs, I want to keep. That I will use occasionally.

It will be nice to have the space and less clutter, in my 460 sq ft apt. - Plus, I keep thinking about leaving as little as possible, for my kids to clear out/clean up, after I'm gone. Or if I move.

I did tell DD2, if there is a possibility of a problem, of ANY kind, for anyone, I'd rather not have the tv, she's bringing me. It's not worth it to me. I can live without it.

She sounded really relieved, when I told her, I was able to get rid of my old tv, already. So that's one thing, we don't have to worry about, or ask her husband for help with. It was a huge relief to me, as well.

Maybe in your area, Got junk, is less expensive. It's worth calling and asking. That's what I did. They gave me a quote, over the phone.

Do you have something like "2 guys and a truck", or other movers there, you can call and get quotes from? I feel like Got Junk has really high prices, compared to other handyman/movers.

Maybe you can ask for recommendations, on Facebook, or offer to pay someone $40 (or?), to help you out? If you belong to any local FB groups, that's a good place to start, IMO.
Make a post "In search of". That's what I see a LOT of people do, in my area.

And I was able to find out, there's a place in my area, that will take non working TVs/electronics, free (a few, per person). Which gives you bargaining power, if you know that, ahead of time, when you're making a deal. (If there's someplace like that, near you.)

I've also known people who just drive to an area under construction, so big dumpsters are in the area and they put their unwanted stuff in one of those dumpsters, to avoid paying fees. (I wouldn't dare do that, but apparently a lot of people would/do). At least it's not just dumped on the side of a road, I guess.

I have also gone into the office, where I live and asked for permission to put an item in our dumpster. I was surprised when they said sure, no problem.

Then I didn't have to worry about getting caught, or in trouble.
I hate getting in trouble.

Maybe you could ask around your Apts, to see if someone will him you, for a nominal price?

Good luck with getting rid of your old tv!

I hope you and your critters are doing well.

I'm sorry you're still having to walk/take the bus. Doing that, in the winter, sucked more than in the summer, I thought. Plus it gets dark so freaking early, which makes it colder. Not fun, at all. IMO.

[finnime]

Good morning, problem-solving invisipeeps, figuring it out everywhere. Welcome to Monday, although judging by the email I've been getting it's (black) Friday all week and then some. I hope your day treats you well. You deserve it.

I really hope Elmer is okay, minnesotapaintlady.

Today I have to do All The Things I've been putting off, plus go to an initial appointment with a primary care doctor. It's taken this long to find a PCP and get scheduled. I began looking about a year ago. DH has an appointment, too, with the same doc. His cadre of specialists will now have someone to forward records to.

Yesterday I spent hours adding a section to my web site, an e-store. For now it just has calendars but I may add note cards and other items in the future. These will be things that I personally will mail, not having the printer do it. I'm going to have DD, I think, cull some of the pictures in the portfolio that are not quite as good as the others. I keep adding images. It's gotten too busy.

So I still have to make the Chex mix and clear away all the trappings of our photography business from the office and guest room before Thursday. Tomorrow and especially Wednesday will be very busy.

The setting sun yesterday staged a brilliant show as it sank below the horizon:

[toomuchreality]

Nov 19, 2023 17:51:44 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 19, 2023 14:17:30 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

I called Got Junk to move my last TV. They wanted $120 just to take 1 TV! No way. I can't afford that.

DSIL will do it. But I know how he feels about doing it. It makes for an unpleasant experience, for Everyone, usually. In his words " Who do they think I am? The neighborhood moving man?" And that was when I just wanted him to drop off a carpet cleaner, to DD1. They lived 5 mins from me, and DD1 was 5 min from where they were going to. That time, he flat said, No. -I was shocked.

He has done things for me since, but the mood was obvious not good. No one spoke. Not even niceties. He came in, did it and they left. I don't want any of us to have to go through that again.
If he offers, that's one thing. He'll be decent about it. But if you ask, and he does it, watch out.

However, he did ask me to house sit for 10 days, in December. So it might be okay.

But they haven't visited me at my place, in probably 15 years, so there's that. I just don't want it to get ugly.

Since DD2 said SHE could probably bring the flat screen over, I'm guessing she doesn't want to ask for his help, or she did and was told no.

I hope I can find someone who wants it. Maybe for a kids room? Since it works. Then they can pick it up.

We'll see. I won't remind him of what I do for them. That's a guarantee of things getting REAL UGLY, REAL fast! BTDT.

What a dick. I'd just do it for you if I lived by you. Why can't people just do nice things for each other?

Thanks. I appreciate that.

They did just pay my way, to fly and go to Disneyland with them, mid October, of this year.
I get the feeling, he's felt used a LOT, physically and financially, throughout his life, so that has something to do with his attitude, I would think.

He is finally figuring out, that I'm not like all those other people. Which he tells me and DD2, he really appreciates.

And while I don't think this should have anything to do with the situation and what he does, it kind of helps me understand (although I disagree), his thought process... He likes to be in control and he's a very strong believer in Trump. 🙄
They have been under a lot of stress, with their business and hiring new employees, lately. Now, in addition to the holidays, they're getting ready to go on a cruise, Dec 1st., so a lot of arrangements have to be made, for everything to come together, in a short time.

None of that is my problem, really. But it kind of does explain why he's doesn't want to take on anything else, (Trumpster's only do and hear,what they want, IMO) And this cruise is costing a small fortune, for the four of them. Plus his outer family will expect him to pay for a lot of their expenses, as usual. Along with the cost and effort, for boarding their 2 dogs.

Right after they get back, it will be Christmas, then new year's, then the birthday season starts.

But even all that, isn't a good reason/excuse for being a dick. That's also, my opinion.

I'm just glad my old TV is gone, so it isn't adding to anyone's stress. And DD2 nor I, don't have to ask him for his help. That's a HUGE relief, in general, but especially right now.

He really can be very nice and really funny, if you don't get on his bad side.
It's a slippery slope, for sure.

I'm trying not to take it personally. Because it will put me in a funk, quicker than you can say the word "funk". And that won't help anything, or anyone.

I never want anyone to feel like I'm using them, for any reason. Or that I have unmet expectations, of them. That just makes people miserable.

Sorry, for the long post!

I hope things go well, during your first Thanksgiving 🦃, at your new place 🏡 . Remember to take care of you, while you're taking care of everything and everyone else. Things will be much more enjoyable, if you do. ❤

Thank you for your thoughtfulness.

[toomuchreality]

Nov 19, 2023 21:12:08 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I could really use a few more of these nice days to get stuff done, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.  I got the posts in for the snow fence today and cleaned the garage out.  Also got all the seats back in the van.  I'd been driving around with none in the back since moving DS into his new place.  That was a chore as they weigh a ton.

In other news Elmer is missing and most likely dead.  I don't know what could have happened to him as he never leaves the barn (actually never leaves the chicken stall in the barn), but when I went to feed last night he wasn't there.  The barn was closed, so nothing big could have got in and grabbed him and it was daytime so I can't see that a coon or skunk or something small enough would have wandered in.  There has been a stray cat around, so it's possible he got him, but it would be odd for a cat to take out a chicken I would think.  I'm hoping he didn't wander and get stuck somewhere in the barn and is trapped with no food or water, but he's never slipped through the fence to the front half before...he has a hard enough time trying to figure out how to get through the actual chicken door, so I can't see him doing it.  I looked for awhile anyhow, but it's a bit of a needle in the haystack.

Dang it! If it isn't one thing, it's SIX! I swear!
I hope you find him well and safe, soon.

[toomuchreality]

Nov 20, 2023 4:06:24 GMT -5 finnime said:

Good morning, problem-solving invisipeeps, figuring it out everywhere. Welcome to Monday, although judging by the email I've been getting it's (black) Friday all week and then some. I hope your day treats you well. You deserve it.

I really hope Elmer is okay, minnesotapaintlady.

Today I have to do All The Things I've been putting off, plus go to an initial appointment with a primary care doctor. It's taken this long to find a PCP and get scheduled. I began looking about a year ago. DH has an appointment, too, with the same doc. His cadre of specialists will now have someone to forward records to.

Yesterday I spent hours adding a section to my web site, an e-store. For now it just has calendars but I may add note cards and other items in the future. These will be things that I personally will mail, not having the printer do it. I'm going to have DD, I think, cull some of the pictures in the portfolio that are not quite as good as the others. I keep adding images. It's gotten too busy.

So I still have to make the Chex mix and clear away all the trappings of our photography business from the office and guest room before Thursday. Tomorrow and especially Wednesday will be very busy.

The setting sun yesterday staged a brilliant show as it sank below the horizon:

You got this! ♡ It's a lot, but still, you'll get it done.
Sit down and rest your mind and body, periodically and it will be easier.

Good luck!

[ners]

Morning all


minnesotapaintlady I hope Elmer is okay.

toomuchreality Good job on getting the TV moved.

So glad I have a 3 day work week.  Need to have a productive day.

Finishing breakfast.

[Opti]

Sorry about Elmer MPL.

Super tired and sick today. We are short staffed so I will go in but might only work a half day if the boss lets me. Not sure how to arrange a needed doctor appointment as the doctor is not on the bus line. So, I need to reach out to one older friend and see if he picked up another job or is still unemployed and spending time shepherding his brother's health. If he has some availability maybe he can take me. 

So on my massive to do list I need to reach out to the county bus and put in an application for it, even if it does not help in the short term. They do take you to appointments but generally need at least three weeks notice to do so. I also have to deal with my dead BMW at the body shop. I think they want to charge me storage fees. Might have to tow it to my spot and work in the AAA claim up levels of mgmt which will be tricky given when I take lunch. Still have not found the printed copy of the form which I was going to fill out in long hand, make at least one copy and mail out certified mail.

And I really need to file my 2022 taxes. Hopefully they owe me money, but I forgot that all my UE benefits dropped in 2022 so it will be close. And depending on where I land with the UE added to my 2022 income, I might have to file and work up 2021 taxes too in order to qualify for reduced internet. Really need to cut costs as it looks like a cheap car I could live with will start around 9000 versus a more reasonable 7K or lower. 

Oh, and I discovered I am massively behind on my utility bills while filing stuff yesterday, so I probably will not be able to use most of my bonus towards a car down payment but towards keeping heat and electricity on. 

[daisylu]

I can't imagine being relieved to not have to ask my husband to do something so small for my mom.

[daisylu]

Need to login to work. Our team is having a Friendsgiving Teams meeting at lunch. Manager said we can order lunch with corporate credit card. And we have to have cameras on which means I'll have to do something with my face before then. 🤡

[Peace77]

Nov 20, 2023 7:06:10 GMT -5 Opti said:

Sorry about Elmer MPL.

Super tired and sick today. We are short staffed so I will go in but might only work a half day if the boss lets me. Not sure how to arrange a needed doctor appointment as the doctor is not on the bus line. So, I need to reach out to one older friend and see if he picked up another job or is still unemployed and spending time shepherding his brother's health. If he has some availability maybe he can take me. 

So on my massive to do list I need to reach out to the county bus and put in an application for it, even if it does not help in the short term. They do take you to appointments but generally need at least three weeks notice to do so. I also have to deal with my dead BMW at the body shop. I think they want to charge me storage fees. Might have to tow it to my spot and work in the AAA claim up levels of mgmt which will be tricky given when I take lunch. Still have not found the printed copy of the form which I was going to fill out in long hand, make at least one copy and mail out certified mail.

And I really need to file my 2022 taxes. Hopefully they owe me money, but I forgot that all my UE benefits dropped in 2022 so it will be close. And depending on where I land with the UE added to my 2022 income, I might have to file and work up 2021 taxes too in order to qualify for reduced internet. Really need to cut costs as it looks like a cheap car I could live with will start around 9000 versus a more reasonable 7K or lower. 

Oh, and I discovered I am massively behind on my utility bills while filing stuff yesterday, so I probably will not be able to use most of my bonus towards a car down payment but towards keeping heat and electricity on. 

Have you considered applying for (energy assistance) HEAP or LIHEAP?  Call 211 or see 211.org for where to apply for your area.  They will pay your entire bill to one provider once per year.

You can definitely get a good car for less than $9k.  We did a few months ago.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nov 20, 2023 7:24:33 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I can't imagine being relieved to not have to ask my husband to do something so small for my mom.

Right? DH recently helped my dad haul GUs snow blower out to the storage unit.

It's a beast made of solid metal from the 70s.

Now THAT was a bitch to move. I was pissed at both of them for being "manly men" and not using a belt or anything. DH managed to Crack his head and looked like Harry Potter for a week.

He said it's just what you do. You help family.

I can get feeling taken advantage of but a TV is such a small task and keeps your MIL from getting hurt trying to move it. Not a hill I'd choose to die on.

[wvugurl26]

Within our friends circle, DH and I have definitely felt taken advantage of. Our response to that is to be more selective about what we pay for, invite to, etc for those specific people. Just because one of DH's decades long friends married a spouse with tons of mooching friends does not mean he grouses about helping our parents. I guess some people are better able to not apply generalities.

MIL wants her kitchen painted as her Christmas gift. It will be painted after Christmas but DH will do it without complaint.

[giramomma]

Nov 20, 2023 7:24:33 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I can't imagine being relieved to not have to ask my husband to do something so small for my mom.

I can.

And I'm 100% in a completely different situation.

[daisylu]

Nov 20, 2023 8:55:38 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Nov 20, 2023 7:24:33 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I can't imagine being relieved to not have to ask my husband to do something so small for my mom.

I can.

And I'm 100% in a completely different situation.

I understand asshole behavior, but if he acted like that he wouldn't be my husband for very long.

[andi9899]

Crisis averted. The vegan guest will be bringing a few vegan dishes to share. I suspect he's used to bringing his own food to things. I had already bought plant based chicken to make something with. I can always use it later. I also got a veggie tray and hummus. I have all the drinks anyone could want. Just need to check out on my Sam's order tomorrow to pick up Wednesday morning. I'm going to invite a friend and his husband as I don't think they really do anything on Thanksgiving.

[andi9899]

Nov 19, 2023 21:12:08 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I could really use a few more of these nice days to get stuff done, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.  I got the posts in for the snow fence today and cleaned the garage out.  Also got all the seats back in the van.  I'd been driving around with none in the back since moving DS into his new place.  That was a chore as they weigh a ton.

In other news Elmer is missing and most likely dead.  I don't know what could have happened to him as he never leaves the barn (actually never leaves the chicken stall in the barn), but when I went to feed last night he wasn't there.  The barn was closed, so nothing big could have got in and grabbed him and it was daytime so I can't see that a coon or skunk or something small enough would have wandered in.  There has been a stray cat around, so it's possible he got him, but it would be odd for a cat to take out a chicken I would think.  I'm hoping he didn't wander and get stuck somewhere in the barn and is trapped with no food or water, but he's never slipped through the fence to the front half before...he has a hard enough time trying to figure out how to get through the actual chicken door, so I can't see him doing it.  I looked for awhile anyhow, but it's a bit of a needle in the haystack.

Hopefully he turns back up. If nothing big could get him, he probably knocked a basket or bucket or something over on top of himself. Will he make noise if you call him?

[andi9899]

Nov 20, 2023 8:21:41 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Nov 20, 2023 7:24:33 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I can't imagine being relieved to not have to ask my husband to do something so small for my mom.

Right? DH recently helped my dad haul GUs snow blower out to the storage unit.

It's a beast made of solid metal from the 70s.

Now THAT was a bitch to move. I was pissed at both of them for being "manly men" and not using a belt or anything. DH managed to Crack his head and looked like Harry Potter for a week.

He said it's just what you do. You help family.

I can get feeling taken advantage of but a TV is such a small task and keeps your MIL from getting hurt trying to move it. Not a hill I'd choose to die on.

Amen. Family just helps each other out. That family doesn't have to be biological either. I can call any family member for help and they'll help me. They can also expect for me to help them too.

[NoNamePerson]

minnesotapaintlady   wish I lived closer I would start up a search party for Elmer. I may be wrong but your tales of Elmer's escapades kept me entertained more than once on this board. But if not same chicken I hope Elmer turns up soon. 

[lurkyloo]

Nov 20, 2023 8:37:12 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

Within our friends circle, DH and I have definitely felt taken advantage of. Our response to that is to be more selective about what we pay for, invite to, etc for those specific people. Just because one of DH's decades long friends married a spouse with tons of mooching friends does not mean he grouses about helping our parents. I guess some people are better able to not apply generalities.

MIL wants her kitchen painted as her Christmas gift. It will be painted after Christmas but DH will do it without complaint.

I think with the amount tmr does for her daughter’s family in an ongoing fashion it’s not a big ask and SIL should’ve just done it.

At the same time…I am normally the first to jump in and be inappropriately eager to help out, but some people are just takers.  I agree it’s healthier and more appropriate to give people a chance and apply the brick wall (no can’t help you) on a case by case basis (ironically also thinking of my own MIL there).

[andi9899]

There is a dog that just appeared yesterday. He was just walking around loose in the rain yesterday. I really hope he wandered off and was found by his owner. I really hope he wasn't dumped here. I haven't seen him today yet. I'm going to try and get a picture of him and post him on my ring app if he's still out there later.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 20, 2023 9:35:54 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

minnesotapaintlady   wish I lived closer I would start up a search party for Elmer. I may be wrong but your tails of Elmer's escapades kept me entertained more than once on this board. But if not same chicken I hope Elmer turns up soon. 

I think the odds of him showing up at this point are slim to none, he's been gone since Friday.  I took a spotlight into the barn last night and went through as much of the crap in the front half of the barn as I could in case he was trapped. Maybe he did go outside and the neighbors had someone over with a dog or a coyote passed through? The hens are all fine, but he's not very fast with his crippled foot.  No sign of anything though.  There are feathers laying around all over in the barn because they were all molting last month, so I can't go by that.  It's a complete mystery and I hate not knowing. If you see a pile of feathers in the yard at least it's "well, something got the rooster". 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 20, 2023 9:32:47 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 20, 2023 8:21:41 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Right? DH recently helped my dad haul GUs snow blower out to the storage unit.

It's a beast made of solid metal from the 70s.

Now THAT was a bitch to move. I was pissed at both of them for being "manly men" and not using a belt or anything. DH managed to Crack his head and looked like Harry Potter for a week.

He said it's just what you do. You help family.

I can get feeling taken advantage of but a TV is such a small task and keeps your MIL from getting hurt trying to move it. Not a hill I'd choose to die on.

Amen. Family just helps each other out. That family doesn't have to be biological either. I can call any family member for help and they'll help me. They can also expect for me to help them too.

Same.  And my family includes my neighbors.  Even my ex's will show up to help with something if I ask and they're able and vice versa. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

We're having an 11am - 8pm workday (parent/teacher conferences) today, so I'm easing into the morning. Non-morning people (me) would appreciate this every day! Morning people (DH) are weirdly wired for waking up so easily. 

My coffee musings this morning:
I'm trying to put on my big girl pants and figure out why an employee thinks I'm being mean to them. I'm very defensive (as you all know), but I have become more self-reflective as I age/wisen/mature. I'm trying to figure out if (a) this is something I can actually control and (b) should I just stop talking to the employee for a few weeks because that will give the employee a win?

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Got up early this morning and as soon as I finish my coffee, have to get dressed.  TD needs to take his car in for an oil change, and I’m taking him to work.  While I’m out, thought I’d hit the grocery store to get the last minute items.

Last night I made a huge pot of my dad’s recipe (he won a local award for this) clam chowder and DS made a loaf of sourdough bread.  She also made a pan of rice crispy treats.  The soup turned out excellent, if I do say so myself.  It’ll give us lunch for a few days, now just need to figure out what’s for dinner tonight.  I think this is when I appreciate the cruise ship the most!  I don’t need to make these decisions!

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 20, 2023 10:22:13 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

We're having an 11am - 8pm workday (parent/teacher conferences) today, so I'm easing into the morning. Non-morning people (me) would appreciate this every day! Morning people (DH) are weirdly wired for waking up so easily. 

My coffee musings this morning:
I'm trying to put on my big girl pants and figure out why an employee thinks I'm being mean to them. I'm very defensive (as you all know), but I have become more self-reflective as I age/wisen/mature. I'm trying to figure out if (a) this is something I can actually control and (b) should I just stop talking to the employee for a few weeks because that will give the employee a win?

Can you ask them?

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Nov 20, 2023 10:34:07 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Nov 20, 2023 10:22:13 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

We're having an 11am - 8pm workday (parent/teacher conferences) today, so I'm easing into the morning. Non-morning people (me) would appreciate this every day! Morning people (DH) are weirdly wired for waking up so easily. 

My coffee musings this morning:
I'm trying to put on my big girl pants and figure out why an employee thinks I'm being mean to them. I'm very defensive (as you all know), but I have become more self-reflective as I age/wisen/mature. I'm trying to figure out if (a) this is something I can actually control and (b) should I just stop talking to the employee for a few weeks because that will give the employee a win?

Can you ask them?

They have told them self such a story that they don't want to be in the same room with me right now--well as of Friday. 

My perception is exceptionally different from theirs. 
I can be a rude, dismissive person. However, I have not been in this case. I have --as the person's supervisor/evaluator--asked the person to work on some areas of their job description. They've decided that this is "targeting". 

[bean29]

Nov 20, 2023 8:55:38 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Nov 20, 2023 7:24:33 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I can't imagine being relieved to not have to ask my husband to do something so small for my mom.

I can.

And I'm 100% in a completely different situation.

I walk the line sometimes.  My husband is generally willing to help out family.  He is great about his parents and my Mom.  He does get annoyed about some other family members, and he has good reasons for that.  We had my Family Thanksgiving at a restaurant yesterday.  My IBS-d acted up, and while I was in the bathroom, he and my brother spit the bill.  My oldest DN and his family were there, DH and I both favor him, and his family...but on the surface he can mostly afford whatever he wants, but His oldest DD has had some health challenges that has really cost them a good bit of $$ out of pocket.  DH and I discussed on the way to dinner.  I am sure DH initiated splitting the bill with my DB.  We have done it before.  It is my DN's Mom and step father that are finacially at risk.  Worry about them a lot as they are facing retirement, and have practically nothing saved.  Their financial future is a house of cards. 

DH said my DB got the better end of the deal as more than 1/2 of the guests were his kids/their spouses and their children.  He was not really complaining about that, just saying he felt it was fair.  Our bill was about $380 and he said they tipped about $100.  We only had one waiter for our group of 26/27 people.  and someone else came up and helped out with drinks.  It went fine though, but DH commented on the one waiter working when we were on the way home and saw a young girl begging for $$ on the off ramp of the freeway.  We actually would spend more than that on a family dinner we hosted at our house, and we would have prep and clean up to do.  Really not bad at all when you think about it.

[daisylu]

Adding to Amazon wish list that is shared with DH to make his gift giving easier. he gets an email when I add something, I would when he adds something but he never does because I am an excellent gift giver. 

I added some fleece lined leggings over the weekend and they have disappeared from the list, so I am striking while the iron is hot!