what are you doing right now?

[countrygirl2]

I drove to the city and back and it was dusk, a bad time for hitting deer out here as they are on the move. i must have driven 40 mph on the 8 miles or so home out here. Did not see a single deer, turned in the driveway and one was standing in the yard. He turned around and just looked at me and than meandered off. Never saw one out there before. I was telling DD, she sleeps by the front windows ,she told me there had been 2 out there and she sees deer a lot in the front yard at night. Just kind of neat really. 

It's like the house in Washington the lady across the street said she sees a mom and couple of babies in our yard at times. They never bothered the veggies or flowers though. I never got up early enough to see them.

I get on a food kick that I will eat certain things for days than not like them for months. The last few weeks has been frozen peas and raisins. Yogurt and pecans is another one right now. It's like I crave something like that than eventually get over it. I've always done that. And right now coffee nor sodas taste very good, don't know why. At night been drinking lots of water.  It will pass, but the family doesn't get much good cooking while I'm on these kicks.

Pink, I'm not going to give you advice other than to say it will all get better for you eventually. When you take a look at all of it and give yourself some time you will come to some decision. Whatever it is I'm sure you will be fine. My best to you in whatever you decide. I just wish you peace in your life.

[alabamagal]

Being parent of young adults is not easy. We are worried about DS, he is 31. He think he is going to be fired from his job. He is so smart and works hard, but is not good at listening to other people. He has been that way his whole life. We had a good discussion about knowing your weaknesses and trying to do better. He needs to try to keep his job, at least for a bit. His wife is due with their second child in Feb. if he has to get a new job they will have to move, which is his biggest fear. It will work out, just not a good time for changes.

[toomuchreality]

Nov 12, 2023 22:09:58 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

Being parent of young adults is not easy. We are worried about DS, he is 31. He think he is going to be fired from his job. He is so smart and works hard, but is not good at listening to other people. He has been that way his whole life. We had a good discussion about knowing your weaknesses and trying to do better. He needs to try to keep his job, at least for a bit. His wife is due with their second child in Feb. if he has to get a new job they will have to move, which is his biggest fear. It will work out, just not a good time for changes.

Good luck to him!

[giramomma]

Nov 12, 2023 22:09:58 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

Being parent of young adults is not easy. We are worried about DS, he is 31. He think he is going to be fired from his job. He is so smart and works hard, but is not good at listening to other people. He has been that way his whole life. We had a good discussion about knowing your weaknesses and trying to do better. He needs to try to keep his job, at least for a bit. His wife is due with their second child in Feb. if he has to get a new job they will have to move, which is his biggest fear. It will work out, just not a good time for changes.

Is he going to at least talk to his network?

Does his workplace offer any professional development? We have short training sessions on active listening/other communication in our workplace.

Coursera has some communications courses. If he can get a LinkedIn Learning subscription, that could be an option to. Something with a certificate to corroborate that he is trying to better himself.

I'm assuming that not listening to others is not defying others. I just wonder what is the underlying reason. If he is smart and working hard, is he seeing things others aren't (for whatever reason?) Is the culture toxic positivity? Is his workplace toxic?

[raeoflyte]

I signed up as a pet sitter on rover.com a while back but wasn't getting any bookings. I lowered my fees and updated my settings and got a job today. Yay!

Except it's to stay at their house for 5 days... it's super close and dc can spend the night with me so I'm going to do it, but annoyed at myself. It could be kind of a nice, pretend vacation like when I used to travel for work. But if my house is a mess by the time I'm back I'll be annoyed.

[raeoflyte]

Also thinking about adopting a "barn cat" to deal with the mice in the garage. Setting up a warm place for a cat out there would be easy enough. But putting in a doggy door into the garage sounds like too much for me right now.

I should go back to the farm and bring the cat we all fell in love with and his brother. That is tempting.

[finnime]

Good morning, intrepid and erudite invisipeeps, carrying on carrying on in the midst of everything. I hope your Monday is satisfying. And that you see the progress you've been making in all ways.

Today, for $100 I'm participating in a clinical study that merely asks for a single blood draw. I decided, WTH, and I could use the money for lunch tomorrow with DSis, ODB and DH. This takes place after another trip to the PO to mail off another batch of calendars. And, I'll be working on my website and writing.

It's cold here, too, this morning, in the 20's. I'm going to put the faux fur trim on the hood of my jacket; it's time.

Thanksgiving is next week!

I got little accomplished yesterday but made the nissu and we had DD over for supper. I'm glad DH thought of this once she moved next door. It gives us time to really connect. Between DH and I, I'm the one who is very comfortable with thinking and not so much with feeling. DH is the opposite. When I remind myself to listen to him we do okay.

The sunrise yesterday was just typical, but the sunset was colorful. I took this over the park across the street:

[toomuchreality]

Nov 13, 2023 4:54:42 GMT -5 finnime said:

Good morning, intrepid and erudite invisipeeps, carrying on carrying on in the midst of everything. I hope your Monday is satisfying. And that you see the progress you've been making in all ways.

Today, for $100 I'm participating in a clinical study that merely asks for a single blood draw. I decided, WTH, and I could use the money for lunch tomorrow with DSis, ODB and DH. This takes place after another trip to the PO to mail off another batch of calendars. And, I'll be working on my website and writing.

It's cold here, too, this morning, in the 20's. I'm going to put the faux fur trim on the hood of my jacket; it's time.

Thanksgiving is next week!

I got little accomplished yesterday but made the nissu and we had DD over for supper. I'm glad DH thought of this once she moved next door. It gives us time to really connect. Between DH and I, I'm the one who is very comfortable with thinking and not so much with feeling. DH is the opposite. When I remind myself to listen to him we do okay.

The sunrise yesterday was just typical, but the sunset was colorful. I took this over the park across the street:

Wow. That's beautiful! I love the colors and the different style. Stunning.

[alabamagal]

Nov 12, 2023 22:46:01 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Nov 12, 2023 22:09:58 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

Being parent of young adults is not easy. We are worried about DS, he is 31. He think he is going to be fired from his job. He is so smart and works hard, but is not good at listening to other people. He has been that way his whole life. We had a good discussion about knowing your weaknesses and trying to do better. He needs to try to keep his job, at least for a bit. His wife is due with their second child in Feb. if he has to get a new job they will have to move, which is his biggest fear. It will work out, just not a good time for changes.

Is he going to at least talk to his network?

Does his workplace offer any professional development? We have short training sessions on active listening/other communication in our workplace.

Coursera has some communications courses. If he can get a LinkedIn Learning subscription, that could be an option to. Something with a certificate to corroborate that he is trying to better himself.

I'm assuming that not listening to others is not defying others. I just wonder what is the underlying reason. If he is smart and working hard, is he seeing things others aren't (for whatever reason?) Is the culture toxic positivity? Is his workplace toxic?

Thanks for advice, I will pass on to him. Knowing his personality I feel like he is seen as defying his superiors. When he gets an opinion he tends to not let things go. His job is very data driven and he sees thing black and white. He has worked for 3 different large insurance companies in 9 years and always left for better positions, but his current position is not working out.

It may be that they are just going to get rid of him. He is on 4 week improvement plan and one of weeks is holiday. He is also close to 3 year vesting in his 401k and just told his manager of intent to take paternity leave (6 weeks) soon.

[Opti]

Figuring out what to wear to work. Brutal cold this morning, currently 25 degrees which is lower than I'd expect for this point in November. At least low wind when I leave even if it will only be low 40s.

Moonshadow behaving himself for now as he has both water and hay. I think I am going to be jealous of both my critters even if its 69 in here. Boss likes things cool so I might be cold all day. 

[daisylu]

This is the type of weather change that I am not fond of. It was 28 degrees this morning and is supposed to get to almost 60around 3PM and then back to 35 tonight.

[jerseygirl]

Nov 13, 2023 7:49:51 GMT -5 daisylu said:

This is the type of weather change that I am not fond of. It was 28 degrees this morning and is supposed to get to almost 60around 3PM and then back to 35 tonight.

I’d be happy for the 60
Freezing here also this morning but not as dismal as winter. Still some red leaves on the Japanese maples. And like you will be warmer as day progresses but only 47

[chiver78]

I am dragging this am. I decided to just watch all of the episodes of "There's Something About Pam" last night, going to bed after 1am. oops. work calls start at 9, so I'd best get moving...

[daisylu]

Nov 13, 2023 8:16:50 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I am dragging this am. I decided to just watch all of the episodes of "There's Something About Pam" last night, going to bed after 1am. oops. work calls start at 9, so I'd best get moving...

I have been meaning to watch that. I believe it was on Peacock?

[daisylu]

Found a great sale on cherry tomatoes over the weekend, so they are in the dehydrator. After dried, I will run them through the food processor into a powder that I like to add to dishes for a flavor burst or as a substitute for tomato paste. 

[CCL]

How are you doing today Pink Cashmere?

[daisylu]

Took a 10 minute break from work to put some dishes away and clean out another cabinet. I am ashamed at how much food had to be tossed, but we will be in better shape moving forward. It was mostly stuff like bottled salad dressings that I would not take a chance on and stuff that I tend to make from scratch these days. Still, it was probably close to $100 down the drain. 

And I moved DH's peanut butter to a better spot. It is going to freak him out. 

[giramomma]

Nov 13, 2023 6:13:21 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

Nov 12, 2023 22:46:01 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Is he going to at least talk to his network?

Does his workplace offer any professional development? We have short training sessions on active listening/other communication in our workplace.

Coursera has some communications courses. If he can get a LinkedIn Learning subscription, that could be an option to. Something with a certificate to corroborate that he is trying to better himself.

I'm assuming that not listening to others is not defying others. I just wonder what is the underlying reason. If he is smart and working hard, is he seeing things others aren't (for whatever reason?) Is the culture toxic positivity? Is his workplace toxic?

Thanks for advice, I will pass on to him. Knowing his personality I feel like he is seen as defying his superiors. When he gets an opinion he tends to not let things go. His job is very data driven and he sees thing black and white. He has worked for 3 different large insurance companies in 9 years and always left for better positions, but his current position is not working out.

It may be that they are just going to get rid of him. He is on 4 week improvement plan and one of weeks is holiday. He is also close to 3 year vesting in his 401k and just told his manager of intent to take paternity leave (6 weeks) soon.

Other things to look for: managing up and leading w/o authority.

Has this been a continual conversation or out of the blue? If it is out of the blue I'm guessing it's not really your son.

And, I also think folks that really care about their work (rather than about "what's in it for me/personal gain") have a hard time shrugging shoulders when they see a lot that doesn't make sense.

Either he learns how to do it, or leaves.

[chiver78]

Nov 13, 2023 8:19:46 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Nov 13, 2023 8:16:50 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I am dragging this am. I decided to just watch all of the episodes of "There's Something About Pam" last night, going to bed after 1am. oops. work calls start at 9, so I'd best get moving...

I have been meaning to watch that. I believe it was on Peacock?

likely, it was an NBC thing. I found it on Prime. 

[raeoflyte]

Verizon has always been dh's hill to die on. But he's finally willing to look at other (cheaper!) Providers. Suggestions for family plans?

[daisylu]

Nov 13, 2023 9:30:32 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Verizon has always been dh's hill to die on. But he's finally willing to look at other (cheaper!) Providers. Suggestions for family plans?

Sorry, can't help there. We are rural and our best options are Verizon & AT&T. We kept separate accounts for a couple of years after we got married because DH loved his Verizon and I loved my AT&T, we were both ready to die on that hill so we didn't combine. Until Verizon started doing away with the phone discounts and near free upgrades around 2011 - that is when DH decided that he was done with them. Both are pretty equal in price around here, but AT&T customer service is worth it.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 13, 2023 9:30:32 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Verizon has always been dh's hill to die on. But he's finally willing to look at other (cheaper!) Providers. Suggestions for family plans?

Only been a few months, but so far pretty happy with Mint.  It uses T-Mobile towers.  You can try it out for three months with unlimited everything for $15/line.  After that unlimited everything is $30/month/line.  We didn't need unlimited so I got 15Gb data for older son and myself at $20/month and 5Gb for Carrot at $15/month.  So, $55/month total.

[bookkeeper]

Woke up in Arizona this morning.  We had an awesome 10 days with the grandsons and then flew south yesterday.

Today is grocery shopping and a trip to Total Wine and More for, you know, supplies.

Love the cool air coming in my windows this morning.

[finnime]

We have an all bells and whistles unlimited everything Verizon plan for DH, me and DD. I just last week upgraded all of our phones: me to a Galaxy S23 Ultra, DH to a Galaxy Z and DD to an iPhone 15, plus we have a 4th line, for less than I was paying for the 3 lines with older phones. I'm pretty happy with it all. Just over $200/mo including phones cost. I guess this is my hill to die on.

[geenamercile]

Pink- just jumping in to say I am so sorry foe everything you are going through.  

[laterbloomer]

Pink Cashmere I'm sorry to see your situation. I don't read every page of this thread but I've picked up enough over time to get the gist. I've been through it a few times and the part you are at really sucks. But once you get through it life will be really good. You will be happy again.
I don't know if you have common law where you are but if you do don't be too proud to get a settlement from Mister. You might not be on the deed but you have been contributing to the equity of the house you are living in. At the very least stop paying into it and build up your war chest.
Right now your brain is not showing you all your options. There are some good ones you just aren't seeing at the moment because you have focused on a certain plan for a while. The fog will pass and great options will present themselves.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 13, 2023 9:41:03 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Nov 13, 2023 9:30:32 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Verizon has always been dh's hill to die on. But he's finally willing to look at other (cheaper!) Providers. Suggestions for family plans?

Only been a few months, but so far pretty happy with Mint.  It uses T-Mobile towers.  You can try it out for three months with unlimited everything for $15/line.  After that unlimited everything is $30/month/line.  We didn't need unlimited so I got 15Gb data for older son and myself at $20/month and 5Gb for Carrot at $15/month.  So, $55/month total.

TD and I are also with Mint.  The big advantage is that there has not been a problem with calling in Canada.  The big disadvantage is that data is very expensive there, and last time we used Google maps to help us when we got turned around in Vancouver, it was pretty pricy.  

For the time being, I have let my plan go on my iPad.  I was grandfathered into an unlimited data for $35/mo plan.  The company changed things around, and I could get 50 GB for the same price, but I had to sign up for that price while we were on the cruise.  Deadline was 2 months before we got home.  In the meantime, I tether my iPad to my phone if I need service away from Wi-Fi.  

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 13, 2023 11:16:45 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Nov 13, 2023 9:41:03 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Only been a few months, but so far pretty happy with Mint.  It uses T-Mobile towers.  You can try it out for three months with unlimited everything for $15/line.  After that unlimited everything is $30/month/line.  We didn't need unlimited so I got 15Gb data for older son and myself at $20/month and 5Gb for Carrot at $15/month.  So, $55/month total.

TD and I are also with Mint.  The big advantage is that there has not been a problem with calling in Canada.  The big disadvantage is that data is very expensive there, and last time we used Google maps to help us when we got turned around in Vancouver, it was pretty pricy.  

For the time being, I have let my plan go on my iPad.  I was grandfathered into an unlimited data for $35/mo plan.  The company changed things around, and I could get 50 GB for the same price, but I had to sign up for that price while we were on the cruise.  Deadline was 2 months before we got home.  In the meantime, I tether my iPad to my phone if I need service away from Wi-Fi.  

So do you have to buy data separately when you're in Canada and your allotted amount doesn't work? 

[daisylu]

Nov 13, 2023 11:09:18 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Pink Cashmere I'm sorry to see your situation. I don't read every page of this thread but I've picked up enough over time to get the gist. I've been through it a few times and the part you are at really sucks. But once you get through it life will be really good. You will be happy again.
I don't know if you have common law where you are but if you do don't be too proud to get a settlement from Mister. You might not be on the deed but you have been contributing to the equity of the house you are living in. At the very least stop paying into it and build up your war chest.
Right now your brain is not showing you all your options. There are some good ones you just aren't seeing at the moment because you have focused on a certain plan for a while. The fog will pass and great options will present themselves.

Pink Cashmere This reminded me about your post about Mister not giving boy his supplements because they were "getting low". Like he can't read the bottle and buy or order more? This triggered, which I hate saying, me because my son's father (we neve lived together) would do the same type of stuff to my son and "blame" it on me for not providing what was needed. It's called gaslighting. But not taking care of any type of baby is neglect.

Ima shut up now. Just know that there are people here that support you, at least emotionally. I hope you focus on taking care of you.

[bean29]

Nov 12, 2023 17:00:06 GMT -5 daisylu said:

chiver78 I say new phone. But I've been salivating over the z flip phones for almost 2 years. I'm shocked you got 5 years out of yours. Mine always seem to have some sort of issues at 3 years.

My YM card was revoked at least a decade ago, and I'm ok with that.

I need a new phone.  I have so many apps on my phone, and I am out of memory.  The apps go dormant and then when I need to use them, I can't reload them.  I have my banking apps for 6 banks, Mine, DH's, my side business and our MM account, 2 for Mom and One for work.  My work one has a separate authenticator app, and another separate one for our Retirment account.  and it seems to go on and on.  My phone is 64 GB DH's is 32 I think.  He dosn't use many apps, so not as much of a problem for him.  DH said last night that it seemed that the Samsung Phones were getting better reviews/ratings than the i-phones.  Idk.  We have always had apples after our initial Samsung Smart phones.

Between Dinner and picking up DS, I took a nap and DH sat down to watch some more football.  He also took a nap and then kept football on for the rest of the evening.  He never went back to unclog the vent that he needs to work on.  It was work yesterday, but I don't nag him.  He is pretty self motivated, I figure if he wants to realx, I should not nag him as I myself prioritized a nap yesterday.  

While we were eating dinner yesterday afternoon DS texted and asked me to pick him up from the airport.  He said 5:05 and I mistakenly arrived at 5:05.  his flight was a bit late and by the time he de-planed I had waited about a half hour.  I was getting worried they would make me drive around.  Often, they won't let you wait that long.  We usually wait at the airport PO for a phone call (it is right next to the airport).  By the time I ran him home it was a little over an hour.  I then walked my dogs and fed the rabbits and did a bit more filing.  At the Milwaukee ariport, that just means you drive around in a circle and come back.  It would take like 10 minutes.  It is like taking a Freeway cloverleaf ramp.  

I saw the stink they are making about the IRS requirements for people that sell over $600 on FB Marketplace, E-bay, postmark etc.  I personally think they should be 1099'd.  My sister is a reseller.  She sells both new and used stuff.  She uses all kinds of different sites.  She told me she earns enough to pay her property taxes and the heat bill on the second property they own.  That is somewhere between 6500-10,000.  Not sure I think people earning that kind of money should just get the income free of taxes.  I get that they may feel it is burdensome but any employer or retailer subject to employment/sales taxes can make that kind of an argument. My sister has an associate degree in accounting and is a bookkeeper for a small business.  She can handle putting the tax stuff together.  I do understand some people might find things more burdensome, but then again, my sister has to keep track of everything she has listed, how much it is listed for, where she has it stored and then package it and send it out.  She sends it out the next day.  Anyone keeping track of stuff to that extent should be able to handle the bookkeeping required to pay the taxes. 

During the pandemic DH put deposits on a few EV SUV's and trucks.  He recently got invited to order the Hummer he put a deposit on.  He can order it and not be obligated to buy it.  A few weeks ago he got a call from a local dealership and was told he could skip the line if he was willing to pay $20,000 over invoice.  Dh said why would I do that if I can just wait for my order to come in.  Then about a week later he talked to a friend in Chicago, and he did not want to wait for his # to come up.  He came with his brother, and I think his cousin, I know A is an employee.  So the 4 guys negotiated the Truck on Friday am.  These guys are late 50's/early 60's.  Can't imagine what they will be like in another 10 years or so.  His friend has a pretty large business.  The truck was purchased as a business asset, and I think he paid about maybe 15,000 over invoice.  DH said his friend's wife was going to be mad he traded in their ICE car for long trips.  They have a boatload of EV's.  He said the brother and the other guy were planning to take the car his friend traded in to Canada next week.  He said they would borrow an AUDI SUV from the Brother's son.  Life is rough in some circles.  I told DH I don't care what car he buys for himself, but I would be Mad if he was going to start paying over invoice for cars as we don't have the kind of money his friends do.  I also would not want him to buy another new car when the other one is only a year old.  He seems to feel he can build it and sell it.  He said the dealerships want them.  This was not the truck DH was offered 2 weeks ago.  They sold it for the $20,000 over invoice to a guy in California.  It is still at the dealership awaiting shipment.  This one was at a sister dealership.  

Sun is shining on me.  I need a blind or a shade in my office.