what are you doing right now?

[TheOtherMe]

I have a senior plan with Verizon.  Apparently that plan no longer exists.  Verizon really wants me to go on another plan but I'm not seeing anything better.   

It can be used in Canada.  Unlimited text and talk, but there is a limit on the data.  I've never surpassed it so I don't know what it costs.

I get lost in Toronto once I get downtown.  I hope the new place is easier to find.  I have a GPS and it got me to their old house.  

This one is around where the baseball and hockey team play.  My guess is arriving on an event day will result in driving in worse traffic than usual.

[daisylu]

Nov 13, 2023 11:32:54 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Nov 12, 2023 17:00:06 GMT -5 daisylu said:

chiver78 I say new phone. But I've been salivating over the z flip phones for almost 2 years. I'm shocked you got 5 years out of yours. Mine always seem to have some sort of issues at 3 years.

My YM card was revoked at least a decade ago, and I'm ok with that.

I need a new phone.  I have so many apps on my phone, and I am out of memory.  The apps go dormant and then when I need to use them, I can't reload them.  I have my banking apps for 6 banks, Mine, DH's, my side business and our MM account, 2 for Mom and One for work.  My work one has a separate authenticator app, and another separate one for our Retirment account.  and it seems to go on and on.  My phone is 64 GB DH's is 32 I think.  He dosn't use many apps, so not as much of a problem for him.  DH said last night that it seemed that the Samsung Phones were getting better reviews/ratings than the i-phones.  Idk.  We have always had apples after our initial Samsung Smart phones.

Between Dinner and picking up DS, I took a nap and DH sat down to watch some more football.  He also took a nap and then kept football on for the rest of the evening.  He never went back to unclog the vent that he needs to work on.  It was work yesterday, but I don't nag him.  He is pretty self motivated, I figure if he wants to realx, I should not nag him as I myself prioritized a nap yesterday.  

While we were eating dinner yesterday afternoon DS texted and asked me to pick him up from the airport.  He said 5:05 and I mistakenly arrived at 5:05.  his flight was a bit late and by the time he de-planed I had waited about a half hour.  I was getting worried they would make me drive around.  Often, they won't let you wait that long.  We usually wait at the airport PO for a phone call (it is right next to the airport).  By the time I ran him home it was a little over an hour.  I then walked my dogs and fed the rabbits and did a bit more filing.  At the Milwaukee ariport, that just means you drive around in a circle and come back.  It would take like 10 minutes.  It is like taking a Freeway cloverleaf ramp.  

I saw the stink they are making about the IRS requirements for people that sell over $600 on FB Marketplace, E-bay, postmark etc.  I personally think they should be 1099'd.  My sister is a reseller.  She sells both new and used stuff.  She uses all kinds of different sites.  She told me she earns enough to pay her property taxes and the heat bill on the second property they own.  That is somewhere between 6500-10,000.  Not sure I think people earning that kind of money should just get the income free of taxes.  I get that they may feel it is burdensome but any employer or retailer subject to employment/sales taxes can make that kind of an argument. My sister has an associate degree in accounting and is a bookkeeper for a small business.  She can handle putting the tax stuff together.  I do understand some people might find things more burdensome, but then again, my sister has to keep track of everything she has listed, how much it is listed for, where she has it stored and then package it and send it out.  She sends it out the next day.  Anyone keeping track of stuff to that extent should be able to handle the bookkeeping required to pay the taxes. 

During the pandemic DH put deposits on a few EV SUV's and trucks.  He recently got invited to order the Hummer he put a deposit on.  He can order it and not be obligated to buy it.  A few weeks ago he got a call from a local dealership and was told he could skip the line if he was willing to pay $20,000 over invoice.  Dh said why would I do that if I can just wait for my order to come in.  Then about a week later he talked to a friend in Chicago, and he did not want to wait for his # to come up.  He came with his brother, and I think his cousin, I know A is an employee.  So the 4 guys negotiated the Truck on Friday am.  These guys are late 50's/early 60's.  Can't imagine what they will be like in another 10 years or so.  His friend has a pretty large business.  The truck was purchased as a business asset, and I think he paid about maybe 15,000 over invoice.  DH said his friend's wife was going to be mad he traded in their ICE car for long trips.  They have a boatload of EV's.  He said the brother and the other guy were planning to take the car his friend traded in to Canada next week.  He said they would borrow an AUDI SUV from the Brother's son.  Life is rough in some circles.  I told DH I don't care what car he buys for himself, but I would be Mad if he was going to start paying over invoice for cars as we don't have the kind of money his friends do.  I also would not want him to buy another new car when the other one is only a year old.  He seems to feel he can build it and sell it.  He said the dealerships want them.  This was not the truck DH was offered 2 weeks ago.  They sold it for the $20,000 over invoice to a guy in California.  It is still at the dealership awaiting shipment.  This one was at a sister dealership.  

Sun is shining on me.  I need a blind or a shade in my office.  

We stick with Samsung because of the memory. Plus, we both hate anything Apple. 🤣

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 13, 2023 11:23:56 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Nov 13, 2023 11:16:45 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

TD and I are also with Mint.  The big advantage is that there has not been a problem with calling in Canada.  The big disadvantage is that data is very expensive there, and last time we used Google maps to help us when we got turned around in Vancouver, it was pretty pricy.  

For the time being, I have let my plan go on my iPad.  I was grandfathered into an unlimited data for $35/mo plan.  The company changed things around, and I could get 50 GB for the same price, but I had to sign up for that price while we were on the cruise.  Deadline was 2 months before we got home.  In the meantime, I tether my iPad to my phone if I need service away from Wi-Fi.  

So do you have to buy data separately when you're in Canada and your allotted amount doesn't work? 

Yep.  I think a few minutes on google maps to get us going in the right direction used up about half of the $20 TD had put in there for data in Canada.  I was manipulating his phone, telling him where to go.  The minute he got himself orientated, he had me shut it down pronto.

[lurkyloo]

Aw, man.  I’m sorry, Pink.  We’re all here for you.

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 13, 2023 8:22:30 GMT -5 CCL said:

How are you doing today Pink Cashmere ?

I’m okay. Thank you for asking.

I slept in this morning, and finally made myself get up because I have stuff I need to do today. I’m getting a late start, but I need to do my laundry and shampoo my hair. I also need to get my paperwork to my side gig boss so I can get paid for the work I did last week. 

Now Newbie has a few bumps on her. I swear! They aren’t as big, and not nearly as many as Boy was getting, but she does have a few. And she is very pink, like she gets sometimes when her allergies are bad. Good grief.

[daisylu]

Some stuff I ordered for DH for Christmas came in. They are still in bags but the return address will give it away. I need to open them to make sure there is no damage and then I need to hide them. I might take them to my mom's.

[alabamagal]

DH and I switched phone plan from ATT to our internet provider (Spectrum). Ended up saving over $100 per month after we added new phones in. Cost savings included reducing internet cost. Phones use Verizon network and been happy so far.

[chiver78]

Nov 13, 2023 11:53:48 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Nov 13, 2023 11:32:54 GMT -5 bean29 said:

I need a new phone.  I have so many apps on my phone, and I am out of memory.  The apps go dormant and then when I need to use them, I can't reload them.  I have my banking apps for 6 banks, Mine, DH's, my side business and our MM account, 2 for Mom and One for work.  My work one has a separate authenticator app, and another separate one for our Retirment account.  and it seems to go on and on.  My phone is 64 GB DH's is 32 I think.  He dosn't use many apps, so not as much of a problem for him.  DH said last night that it seemed that the Samsung Phones were getting better reviews/ratings than the i-phones.  Idk.  We have always had apples after our initial Samsung Smart phones.

<snip>

Sun is shining on me.  I need a blind or a shade in my office.  

We stick with Samsung because of the memory. Plus, we both hate anything Apple. 🤣

same, lol... other than my iPod, I don't think I've touched anything Apple since HS writing labs. 

[countrygirl2]

I have a Samsung and like it. It's as good as anything out here. I don't have apps on it. All kinds of places are trying to make me use them. I may add McDonald's though as DD loves going there.

This morning I called Cigna that I carry for drug insurance and clarified a letter I got from them about ozempic. Going to an insurance meeting tomorrow, neither of us are changing our supplements, we have the best. But will listen about drug coverage. The lady I talked to said after pre authorization my ozempic will be $163 a month. I find that hard to believe, have never gotten it that cheap. Will also be after I pay $545 deductible. So we will see what the ins lady says when comparing what we take with other companies. If I keep it will call the docs office to start pre authorization for next year.

We also got an additional credit card and I am setting up the auto pays on just that one. Not going to use it for anything else so hoping it doesn't get compromised. I won't go directly into bank accounts for all those. I will do an auto pay on that credit card though. Maybe I won't have so many problems when the card we use everywhere gets fraud junk on it.

Now i'm ready to wash DD's hair and mine. I also found more receipts hubs tucked away and will match up with statements on the LLC, then start entering that stuff. I only have one more call to catch things up. So moving slowly but getting there.

I also need to change the litter boxes today and like all of you am doing that endless laundry. I'm going to wash the few items in the sink instead of running the dishwasher.

DD had grilled cheese and strawberry milk for breakfast earlier and I had 2 english muffins with strawberry jam and hot tea. Trying to reduce my coffee drinking but I miss it.

It is 65 out but we have the furnace on in here, it feels really good and I doubt it is running much, you can never tell when it runs anyway, no noise. With the sun shining so well, will likely pay most of our heat bill this month.

So basically I'm just taking care of routine business.

We are having steak and baked potatoes with salad an some type of dessert for Thanksgiving. Hubs said he really doesn't want ham or turkey, so works for me. I likely will make DD and hubs a pineapple upside down cake. 

I thought hubs PSA test was this week, nope next week. He starts physical therapy this week.

Got to get busy.

[chiver78]

I just handed over a pretty big check.    but, the landscape work will start on Monday and will be mostly complete by the end of the week. (they will come back in the spring to level off a couple areas and spread grass seed). but, the crushed stone will be completely dug up and the project done correctly so it won't be a PITA to keep maintained. I can't wait to see it once it's done! before and after photos will definitely be going up on FB, I'll see if I can figure out how to post them somewhere here. I don't think shutterfly still has 'share' sites like I've used in the past. 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 13, 2023 12:45:16 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I have a Samsung and like it. It's as good as anything out here. I don't have apps on it. All kinds of places are trying to make me use them. I may add McDonald's though as DD loves going there.

This morning I called Cigna that I carry for drug insurance and clarified a letter I got from them about ozempic. Going to an insurance meeting tomorrow, neither of us are changing our supplements, we have the best. But will listen about drug coverage. The lady I talked to said after pre authorization my ozempic will be $163 a month. I find that hard to believe, have never gotten it that cheap. Will also be after I pay $545 deductible. So we will see what the ins lady says when comparing what we take with other companies. If I keep it will call the docs office to start pre authorization for next year.

We also got an additional credit card and I am setting up the auto pays on just that one. Not going to use it for anything else so hoping it doesn't get compromised. I won't go directly into bank accounts for all those. I will do an auto pay on that credit card though. Maybe I won't have so many problems when the card we use everywhere gets fraud junk on it.

Why don’t you set up autopays from your bank?  You can have your bank push, not anyone else pull from your account.  I have this set up for both my Plan D and Medigap plan.  Unless there is some sort of perk you are getting from the CC, then it’s only another card you need to hope someone doesn’t hack.  

None of my bills have access to my bank accounts.  

[busymom]

Nov 13, 2023 9:30:32 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Verizon has always been dh's hill to die on. But he's finally willing to look at other (cheaper!) Providers. Suggestions for family plans?

    I don't have a good suggestion.  DH & I got burned when we were "out driving in the country" this past Summer.  I have Verizon, he "had" another company.  We're both in the same small town, and he sent me a text.  I didn't get it.  Then he tries to call me (I was at the hotel, while he was in town).  I never got the call.  We realized at this point that our cell phones were useless in this small community in the middle of farm country.  It shook him up enough that he switched to Verizon.  Hopefully the next time we're out in the sticks we'll be able to communicate with each other.  BTW, I didn't receive his text until we were driving home, and got close to a small city, then I heard my phone.  

[countrygirl2]

I do have medicare and the drug plans from our checking account. But I really try to limit anyone having access to our bank accounts. Hubs gets into stuff and gets hacked a lot on our cards. I keep telling him and he used our bank card once lately. I keep telling him NO. He does stress me over that as he isn't careful enough.


I'm going to get me a few new pieces of tupperware for Xmas. I still think its the best stuff going. I'm cleaning out my cabinets of the other stuff and just using it. I have quite a bit already. It doesn't absorb tastes. I like the glass storage items but the lids crack on the plastic and break.

[MarionTh230]

Made the grocery store trips.  Have everything we need for Thanksgiving besides what my sibling will be bringing.  Need to do more laundry today.  Still have to do the weekly vocabulary cards for Kiddo.  She is out of school all next week.  Right now my work week looks light.  I'm hoping it stays that way so I can just slide into the weekend and my week off!

[weltz]

Getting ready to go to the pool. Had a glass of V8 for breakfast/lunch. Those packs of small cans come in really handy when I'm not hungry but need something in my belly to keep going.

[finnime]

Went to the PO and mailed packages. Still need to get some Drano or similar product for the bathroom sink. And I think that's it for errands today. Do have house chores, though. Right now I think I'll heat up some chicken soup for a late lunch.

[lurkyloo]

Lull at work is coinciding with a. fatigue from double vax and overdoing yardwork this weekend and b. sense of impending doom from all the things I can’t really fix    Not the most productive day.

[soupandstew]

After serving breakfast I alternated working on the book and running laundry.  I still have about 25 chapters to scan and categorize, and one load to wash/dry.  I shot off an Amazon order for printer paper, binders, and dividers.  

Then it's supper time followed by the monthly board meeting which will be a virtual petri dish.  The treasurer is confirmed with flu, I have a sinus infection, and two directors have miscellaneous running nose and eyes stuff.  I'm wearing a mask and Madam Prez can just stuff it (she's anti-vax and anti-mask)

Nice steady by slow rains all day which we desperately need. 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Checking in on notagain. Let us know how you're doing once you're able to read the boards again.

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 12, 2023 17:57:07 GMT -5 notagain said:

Pink when was the last time you had a vacation?I think you need some me time that doesn't have to.be expensive. If we lived closer I would be seeing you on wednesday

Now that I have calmed down a little, I feel like it’s rude to not answer some questions that were asked last night.

I have not been away from home since October of last year, when I went by myself to a seminar for my side gig in New Orleans.

It was my first time ever traveling by myself (I’d always at least had my children with me), but posters here that I would be ok, because I was afraid to travel alone, and they were right. I was ok, and actually enjoyed it.

I can’t get away right now, until at least next February, because I don’t have any leave at my job. We are entering our busy season anyway, and we can’t get requests for leave approved during four busy season.

I appreciate that you are one of the posters offering to hang out with me. Thank you!

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 12, 2023 19:09:55 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

Pink Cashmere , I've been trying to mostly be quiet, but the tension between you and Mister has been going on for over a year.  Maybe longr than that.  Don't I remember a time when you had a much "friendlier" nickname for him on here that you changed because of how he had been treating you?  Anyway, you are a strong woman.  You have our love and support; this is your "safe" place for working things out.

On a different note, it is people like me that keep the trades in business.  The hall toilet was "ghost flushing" in the middle of the night, and I mentioned to my BFF that I was going to call the plumber in the next week or two.  She encouraged me to watch a few youtube videos and fix it myself.  Oh, sure.  But I decided that if it simply needed a new flapper, I could probably do it . . . despite the fact that the last time I DIYed a flapper, I left the chain too long and ended up calling a plumber, anyway, because I didn't know that was the problem.

And I did it . . . replaced the flapper, I mean.  Now whether it "fixed" the ghost flushing remains to be seen, but the new flapper works and the toilet works.  And I used the old closing mechanism to temporarily shorten the chain so it won't wrap around something it shouldn't.  I will dig through the boxes in the garage tomorrow to see if I kept the tin snips.  I left most of DH's tools so I may not have.  If I didn't, I will buy a some.  That assumes that I don't have to call the plumber after all because it wasn't the flapper.  If they have to come out, they can snip it.  Lol.

Despite doing a lot of subbing, money is a little tight because I am trying to do so many house projects.  It would be nice if I didn't have to call the plumber, but we will see.


.

I think I use to call him “my sweetie”. I don’t remember why I started calling him Mister, it could be because of what you remember, but I kept calling him Mister even when things were fine, so I don’t mean it in a negative way. 

There’s been a lot going on for over a year, but we mostly operated as a team while all of that was happening. It was very stressful because of stuff with his parents during that time, but Mister and I mostly got along okay.  Things didn’t really start getting tense between us until after his Dad died a couple months ago, in early September.

Thank you for your support.

I am glad you were able to replace the flapper on your toilet yourself. Do you know yet whether that fixed the problem?

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 12, 2023 19:52:20 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Nov 12, 2023 19:08:13 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

The kindness you and other posters are showing me, has me crying me again, I have cried rivers over the last few days. 

Unfortunately, the at least “comfortable” retirement I have been planning, really is at risk. There are several reasons I don’t want to live in my house again, but one thing is that I absolutely can not bear sharing a home with my Mom again, I don’t care if that makes me sound like a horrible person, it is the truth, regardless of what it says about me. 

Once I decided that staying in that house would allow me to retire asap, it became an important part of my retirement planning. Even when I try to look on the bright side, being that I still have it as an asset, the facts are that 1. I don’t see me being happy living there again and 2. it is not worth enough that moving again will not derail my plans if I don’t move there. I’m not being pessimistic, I am just stating facts.

I really, really appreciate you offering me a place to visit, to get away for a few days, and I also really appreciate your offer of hugs and prayers. Thank you so much for all of that.

If I dig deep, I know that I will find the soldier in me again, and knowing that that soldier is there, even piled under piles of rubble, means that on some level, I know that somehow, in one way or another, I will eventually be okay. 

My logical brain knows that, somewhere in the back of my mind, but right now, my heart and emotions are screaming way louder and demanding my attention. I have to find a way to put all of that emotional shit aside, so I can listen to my brain instead, and try to figure out where I go from here. 

Does that make sense? I ask, because maybe I am really a crazy person right now, since the only thing I know for sure right now, is that I feel incapable of really thinking clearly about anything. Because really, my mind has been telling me to just get in my car that I very clearly own myself, and drive anywhere from 3 to 14 hours away, to somewhere that I know I could have a safe place to lay my head until I found a job in the area and got my shit together again. That’s real talk, even though I also understand that it’s not really rational thinking. But that’s where I’m at right now. 

Anyway, thank you so much, and thank you to everyone else here that has offered advice and support. I love you all for that.

Your answer to the post above applies to this one too. Don't respond to this right now. Just know that you are loved. 

Several things, and keep in mind I only have a gist that you're unhappy and overwhelmed and not the specifics. 
1) making major life decisions when there has been a tragedy (Mister's parents' deaths) is not a good/mature choice. Now, that doesn't mean ignoring anything, but it could mean that you give yourself the grace to be upset/unhappy/overwhelmed with the goal of revisiting this all in a week or a month. Of course, Mister has to get to the proactive re-visitation also. 

2) I'm further than 14-hour drive away, but you really can stay in our guest suite. 

3) You are going to be financially fine. I would also be freaking out about that right now if I felt the way you did. However, I know that both you and I have ensured that we can take care of ourselves. You will be able to retire and not eat cat food. You will be able to retire and still live in a safe place. You will not be able to retire and learn to love creepy crawlies. 

I had already been thinking about #1, and wondering if the tragedies are why Mister has apparently lost his mind. And even if that’s true, how far am I willing to go with that being an “excuse”. Because I believe that a person’s character and the bottom line of who they are, doesn’t change just because they are going through some shit. It would be nice if I could explore those things with a counselor, but you all know how that has gone.

Thank you so much for offering your guest suite, and also for encouraging me to believe that I will be fine no matter what happens. And like I said last night, for your last sentence, which is still funny to me today.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 13, 2023 13:45:56 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I do have medicare and the drug plans from our checking account. But I really try to limit anyone having access to our bank accounts. Hubs gets into stuff and gets hacked a lot on our cards. I keep telling him and he used our bank card once lately. I keep telling him NO. He does stress me over that as he isn't careful enough.


I'm going to get me a few new pieces of tupperware for Xmas. I still think it’s the best stuff going. I'm cleaning out my cabinets of the other stuff and just using it. I have quite a bit already. It doesn't absorb tastes. I like the glass storage items but the lids crack on the plastic and break.

No one has access to your accounts but you.  YOU set it up so your bank sends money to these creditors, this is called a push.  A pull is what you are having Medigap and drug insurance doing.  

I did this before we went on the cruise.  I set it up so my bank automatically pays my insurances before they are due.  Then if I want to stop it, I go into my bank account and either change the creditor, the amount, or the day it gets sent.  Or have it stopped altogether.  No one has access to the account but me.

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 13, 2023 11:09:18 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Pink Cashmere I'm sorry to see your situation. I don't read every page of this thread but I've picked up enough over time to get the gist. I've been through it a few times and the part you are at really sucks. But once you get through it life will be really good. You will be happy again.
I don't know if you have common law where you are but if you do don't be too proud to get a settlement from Mister. You might not be on the deed but you have been contributing to the equity of the house you are living in. At the very least stop paying into it and build up your war chest.
Right now your brain is not showing you all your options. There are some good ones you just aren't seeing at the moment because you have focused on a certain plan for a while. The fog will pass and great options will present themselves.

Thank you for your kind words and support. 

Our state does not recognize common law, and even if it did, we have only lived together for almost 4.5 years. Also, you are correct in thinking that even if it was a thing, I would have too much pride to go that route.

Yesterday, Mister asked me what I thought about the sofa he’d sent me in a text that I didn’t respond to. When he asked about it a few hours after the text, I told him to buy whatever ugly ass sofa like that, that he wanted to buy. I told him I am not interested in investing any more of my time, energy or money into anything to do with this house. He seemed kind of shocked, because before now, I’ve been all about making this house a home, and just a few months ago I would’ve been excited about finding a sofa, since he is now willing to pay for one.

The sofa he is looking to replace, is the one he and the dogs lounge on, that I won’t even sit on. It just happens to be the one I brought here from my house, and it’s a good thing I don’t really like it, because it is ruined. The cushions literally have snags and tears, from the dogs.

Anyway, I like that you called it a “war chest”, because that is one of the things I have decided I need to focus on, is putting away as much money as I can, even beyond building back up the savings I had, to put myself in a better position. When I do get to where I can think more clearly, any good option is going to require some money. Better to have the money and not need it, than to need it and not have it. 

[notagain]

Mpl thanks for asking. Surgery itself easy peasy. Boy did I waste 3 days of worry! I'll find out how the vision is tomorrow after the patch is removed. Now thats really irritating

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

People were not happy at work today.

Being told that in order to be happy at work you can't be motivated by promotion or a raise but keep killing yourself going "above and beyond" because there might be a T shirt in your future tends to dampen the mood.

[chiver78]

y'all, this phone.      I finally dug out the scotch tape to cover that side crack, and then plugged it in to the power supply for my laptop (USB-C is fantastic! lol....) and while it is plugged in, it's doing this sorta strobe light effect, but only on the bottom half of the screen....and it's green light. WTF? I unplug, and it stops. I really hope that it isn't b/c of the tape, b/c that's not coming off with splintered glass on the screen face. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 13, 2023 17:04:16 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

People were not happy at work today.

Being told that in order to be happy at work you can't be motivated by promotion or a raise but keep killing yourself going "above and beyond" because there might be a T shirt in your future tends to dampen the mood.

Your employer sounds even more clueless than mine. And that is saying a LOT!

[soupandstew]

Nov 13, 2023 16:56:24 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Nov 13, 2023 11:09:18 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Pink Cashmere I'm sorry to see your situation. I don't read every page of this thread but I've picked up enough over time to get the gist. I've been through it a few times and the part you are at really sucks. But once you get through it life will be really good. You will be happy again.
I don't know if you have common law where you are but if you do don't be too proud to get a settlement from Mister. You might not be on the deed but you have been contributing to the equity of the house you are living in. At the very least stop paying into it and build up your war chest.
Right now your brain is not showing you all your options. There are some good ones you just aren't seeing at the moment because you have focused on a certain plan for a while. The fog will pass and great options will present themselves.

Thank you for your kind words and support. 

Our state does not recognize common law, and even if it did, we have only lived together for almost 4.5 years. Also, you are correct in thinking that even if it was a thing, I would have too much pride to go that route.

Yesterday, Mister asked me what I thought about the sofa he’d sent me in a text that I didn’t respond to. When he asked about it a few hours after the text, I told him to buy whatever ugly ass sofa like that, that he wanted to buy. I told him I am not interested in investing any more of my time, energy or money into anything to do with this house. He seemed kind of shocked, because before now, I’ve been all about making this house a home, and just a few months ago I would’ve been excited about finding a sofa, since he is now willing to pay for one.

The sofa he is looking to replace, is the one he and the dogs lounge on, that I won’t even sit on. It just happens to be the one I brought here from my house, and it’s a good thing I don’t really like it, because it is ruined. The cushions literally have snags and tears, from the dogs.

Anyway, I like that you called it a “war chest”, because that is one of the things I have decided I need to focus on, is putting away as much money as I can, even beyond building back up the savings I had, to put myself in a better position. When I do get to where I can think more clearly, any good option is going to require some money. Better to have the money and not need it, than to need it and not have it. 

I'm approaching the two issues separately.  First, the sofa issue leaves me puzzled if he is genuinely clueless about your hurt and anger and their root causes, or if he's doing what DH does, pretending that if he doesn't see the problem, it's not there.  Either way, it's deflection at best and serious dumb-assery at worst.

Second, I like the way you are focusing on asset accumulation while you think things through.  Having $$ put back helps confidence, which in turn helps sound decisions.  

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 13, 2023 17:01:08 GMT -5 notagain said:

Mpl thanks for asking. Surgery itself easy peasy. Boy did I waste 3 days of worry! I'll find out how the vision is tomorrow after the patch is removed. Now thats really irritating

I think you’ll be amazed as to how quickly your vision comes in.  For the first time, I could see without my contact lenses in, or coke bottle glasses on.  

They did warn me that my vision might deteriorate…..and it did.  This is because in a few cases (about 30%) scar tissue grows over the lens.  They can go in with a laser and zap it away.