what are you doing right now?

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 9, 2023 10:12:45 GMT -5 azucena said:

Nov 9, 2023 9:43:16 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

I have to apologize to you because when I read your post I had such a visual that I actually burst out laughing, but was relieved to see that there was a silver living at the end. Enjoy the free taco salad. A fork that can puncture a Diet Pepsi can can be classified as a lethal weapon Just in case you should need such a weapon on short notice  

I'm left wondering how fast MPL was taking the back road curves this morning 

Very, very slowly!  I was driving the Fridge this morning to drop off at the autobody shop to repair the deer hit.  I've been too paranoid to drive it to work or in the dark since I hit the deer with it back in early September.

I think it probably happened when I threw everything behind the seat getting in.  It's a soft-sided lunchbox and my purse or Carrot's backpack might have landed on it just right to drive the fork tine into the can. 

[giramomma]

Nov 9, 2023 8:50:20 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 8, 2023 23:15:14 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Yes, it is. And probably somewhat a good thing. My mom and grandma were abandoned for an extended period (more than 5 years).  My grandma couldn't leave my mom home alone when my mom was like 3.  Lots of people stepped in to help my grandma, but they did expect her to get a job, which meant she needed child care.  Don't forget there wasn't Food Stamps or SNAP, No Section 8 housing, no home heating programs. No child care vouchers. None of that. Church and family support only went so far. The other aunts and uncles mostly worked.

So, my youngest great aunt went from helping my mom and grandma, to taking care of her own parents (my great grandpa lived to be over 100) to helping her only other living sister until she (my other great aunt) was passed away.

So who took care of her when she got old? Did family step up since she had spent her life being a caretaker?

My mom until they had a falling out and other nieces after that. Eventually she went into some sort of facility.

My mom never told me that she died. I don't think mom went to the funeral.

Probably didn't make the effort I should have towards the end. i also had enough on my plate that I was more focused on the state of my marriage. I also wasn't healthy from my upbringing. If mom decided great aunt was verboten, well then she was verboten. I guess my mom didn't need any emotional hits from her aunt.

Her parents on the other hand...my mom ever put up boundaries with her parents because she needed the emotional hit she got from trying to have a (dysfunctional) relationship with them.

[wvugurl26]

My 2 cents is the problem with nursing homes and care facilities is that they have been brought up by private equity. It's just another investment to them and all they care about is how many dollars they can wring out of the operation. They don't care about paying their employees a decent wage and they don't care about the quality of care provided to the residents of these facilities.

[busymom]

I agree with NomoreDramaQ1015.  If society requires both a husband & wife to work to "pay the bills", there needs to be some sort of compensation for caring for an older or disabled family member.  (I had to quit a job to care for my Mom, because the place I was working at refused to let me have just one day off a month to deal with her stuff, which is more than ridiculous.)  Even some sort of tax break would help.  For those of you who have never done it, there are hours of paperwork, dealing with doctors, caregivers, attorneys, etc.  I honestly don't know how anyone who works full time deals with it all.  (Plus, I had to get Mom's house fixed up to sell.  The problems just never seemed to end.)  Mom was fortunate that her money held out, but nursing home costs are crazy!  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nov 9, 2023 11:13:25 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

My 2 cents is the problem with nursing homes and care facilities is that they have been brought up by private equity. It's just another investment to them and all they care about is how many dollars they can wring out of the operation. They don't care about paying their employees a decent wage and they don't care about the quality of care provided to the residents of these facilities.

That is EXACTLY it and a lot of them are out of state or not even in the country period.  A nursing home in Iowa goes bankrupt they close up and go open another one in a different state.

And they've got it to where the social workers have no teeth to enforce anything either.  They don't even require you have a degree in it anymore.   They are bruisers for the nursing home, there to harass yo into handing over as much money as you can.  They have ZERO knowledge of how anything related to Medicaid works.

I am damn lucky I didn't get my ass in trouble last November after being intimidated into trying to deal with it on my own and was threatened into applying or else.  Fortunately I am someone who does massive amounts of research on a good day so I Cliff noted my way through Medicaid.  Not only could it have cost me last November but could cost me NOW because technically I am applying a second time.  Any minor discrepancy could cost us applying in December. 

S went over my previous application with a fine tooth comb and I didn't fill anything out wrong thank God.  It really was I didn't have all the paperwork and her account balance was over.  That's all easy to "fix".

She said all the good social workers are quitting.  The ones who do know what they are doing and truly want to help patients.  It's not worth the pay and it is not worth the harassment they get from the firms who put profit above all else.

So you get dipshits like Crazy Bitch in there instead.   Honestly if we could have figured out a way to have my grandmother live with me full time and could afford 24/7 care I would have done it in a heartbeat.  The facility itself is nice and the staff are good to her but JFC the administration.     

THAT is where we need massive overhaul in state/federal oversight.

[weltz]

I'm feeling better. I think I'll go swimming today.  I'm really out of shape because I haven't gone in three weeks.
When I start getting demented, I want to go the MAiD route. I know it will just get worse, and I don't want to be a burden on my son.

Quebec pays caregivers, and there are hefty tax beaks.

EI caregiving benefits provide financial assistance while you’re away from work to care for or support a critically ill or injured person or someone needing end-of-life care. You could receive 55% of your earnings, up to a maximum of $650 a week.

www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/ei/caregiving.html

[weltz]

Also, daycare is $8.35 a day. They want women to go back to work.

I hope the US catches up soon.

[daisylu]

Nov 9, 2023 11:13:25 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

My 2 cents is the problem with nursing homes and care facilities is that they have been brought up by private equity. It's just another investment to them and all they care about is how many dollars they can wring out of the operation. They don't care about paying their employees a decent wage and they don't care about the quality of care provided to the residents of these facilities.

Capitalism at its finest, at least since "trickle down economics"

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nov 9, 2023 12:19:24 GMT -5 weltz said:

Also, daycare is $8.35 a day. They want women to go back to work.

I hope the US catches up soon.

But but if we subsidize daycare then people will start popping out 12 kids just to get cheap daycare!

And old people will deliberately give themselves dementia to get lower cost nursing home care!  We'll have millions of old people nuking their food in plastic just so they have an excuse to get on the government dime someday!

Personal responsibility! 'Merica!

[geenamercile]

Nov 9, 2023 10:30:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

We need to stop devaluing caretaking as well and quit considering it "familial duty" and/or "God's work".

Which ends up translating into it automatically being significantly devalued and since it is unpaid "family" work it ends up being mostly women who do it.

I know it's a cardinal sin on this board to say so but I am of the strong opinion there either needs to be a tax break or government backed financial compensation for caretaking.  I am just doing the financial aspect of it and it is almost a full time job in itself.  I've been penalized at work because I have to take time to do this crap during work hours because the people I need to contact are only open 8-5.  Then I have to be on the phone for God knows how long because they can't find the POA paperwork I sent them two weeks ago.

Not only would that ease the damage done by having to leave the work force but that would assign a monetary value to it.  That would perhaps entice more men to take on the burden of elder care if they felt they could get compensated for it.

If I can't change the system why not game the system?

There also needs to be a MASSIVE overhaul in oversight and costs of elder care because it's a racket.  I know Athena liked to say she will outlive her money but I am skeptical.  My grandma is paying $9k a month and it keeps going up and up.   Meanwhile facilities are closing left and right because despite charging that much they are bankrupting themselves into oblivion.

Many people don't have a choice but to take in relatives if you don't want the relative to end up homeless or potentially charged with elder abuse once the inevitable happens like with my grandma.

Make getting care affordable.  AND pay more so people want to actually work in the field.  I've seen what the deal with $12/hr is a freaking crime.   I know the claim is "oh well the nursing homes will have to charge more".  They are already charging $9k per month!  I think they could spare some of that to pay their staff more.

And in regards to Medicaid here is a secret I just learned.  While Medicaid will only pay $5k give or take I still have to hand over my grandmother's SS and pension to the nursing home.  So they are getting an extra $2k from me every month on top of the $5k they get from Medicaid.  If they can't operate on $7k +/- a month per resident something is wrong.

There are some states or ways that Medicaid does pay for a family member to care for another.  Some states offer easier paths then others, but I feel we are moving in that direction. 

[Artemis Windsong]

Nov 8, 2023 23:02:28 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Nov 8, 2023 22:30:24 GMT -5 Artemis Windsong said:

I'm so disappointed.  Someone stole my bicycle from my back patio.  It's been gone about 2-3 days.

Oddly. the thief  bypassed the neighbors  bikes that are a much better quality than my $10 garage sale buy.  We reported it to the local patrol.  I also posted on the neighbors facebook page.  I had no photos of it.

Yesterday, I also saw someone rummaging through the cubbys in our golf cart when I was on the pickleball court.  There are wind screens up muting vision.   Our sand container is high on one of the roof supports.  There was nothing in the cart of value.  Only old golf balls, ball markers and a tow rope. 

Our gated community is getting uncomfortable.  My single neighbor is freaked out.  I am now feeling targeted.

I'm sorry for what's happening in your community 

Thank you.  There was a casino built within half a mile of our resort.  I feel that is where some problems with 3 break ins came from.  The patrol has given huge publicity to see something, say something.  There have been no more break ins.

Since the thief bypassed the nicer bikes, I think mine was taken for parts.

[jerseygirl]

In some not all states, Medicaid will pay for in home caregiver . The amount of hours paid depend on needs of the patient. Trying to keep people at home rather than a facility which is more expensive and often poorer care.
I was able to get my DSis into this program and program paid for 20-30 hours/week. Trying to remember think it was $15/hr. Program will also pay for family members to be caretaker. Will pay for 24 hr care if needed by patient.
DSis would have lasted only a short time and had a miserable life in a nursing home.
I am very grateful I was able to find a wonderful caretaker for her. She was able to stay in her condo (7 miles from me) . She wanted to stay in her home and not mine. I was older and worked so both physically and time constraints would have made taking care of her very difficult. I took care of the paperwork paid her property taxes and caretaker and we were able to go to movies, dinner the mall etc. so I wasn’t overwhelmed

[geenamercile]

Nov 8, 2023 23:15:50 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Nov 8, 2023 23:04:32 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

So, I was grumping about all the Christmas stuff out tonight when I was shopping waiting for Carrot to get done with tennis, until I saw there was eggnog!  YAY! 

I am currently celebrating signing my siding contract with Fireball spiked eggnog.  So nummy.

I bought egg nog when I grocery shopped on Sunday.

I love home made eggnog.  I am holding off until after Thanksgiving to make some.  SO says he doesn't like it I am going to try and change his mind.

[weltz]

Nov 9, 2023 12:33:40 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Nov 9, 2023 12:19:24 GMT -5 weltz said:

Also, daycare is $8.35 a day. They want women to go back to work.

I hope the US catches up soon.

But but if we subsidize daycare then people will start popping out 12 kids just to get cheap daycare!

And old people will deliberately give themselves dementia to get lower cost nursing home care!  We'll have millions of old people nuking their food in plastic just so they have an excuse to get on the government dime someday!

Personal responsibility! 'Merica!

Oh, but it gets so much worse!  Families with minor children get $600 a month per minor child.

www.fadoq.ca/en/reseau/news/news/government-payment-quebec-inflation#:~:text=Revenu%20Qu%C3%A9bec%20is%20expected%20to,at%20an%20income%20of%20%2454%2C000.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 9, 2023 13:01:00 GMT -5 weltz said:

Nov 9, 2023 12:33:40 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

But but if we subsidize daycare then people will start popping out 12 kids just to get cheap daycare!

And old people will deliberately give themselves dementia to get lower cost nursing home care!  We'll have millions of old people nuking their food in plastic just so they have an excuse to get on the government dime someday!

Personal responsibility! 'Merica!

Oh, but it gets so much worse!  Families with minor children get $600 a month per minor child.

www.fadoq.ca/en/reseau/news/news/government-payment-quebec-inflation#:~:text=Revenu%20Qu%C3%A9bec%20is%20expected%20to,at%20an%20income%20of%20%2454%2C000.

That link is for a one time stimulus payment.

[countrygirl2]

I had the same problem people always complaining they did not get the paperwork for either DD or MIL.
I found a local office for the state of Indiana that dealt with the social worker aspect and I started taking all correspondence, to the state and nursing home to them to send. They had a copy of the transaction and I had the stamped copies where they sent it. Never have had another issue with so called "lost" paperwork. I think they were so covered up they just ditched anything they could.

I went Christmas shopping at Ollie's this morning. Hubs took me and we bought little guy a bunch of Star Wars items, came to $74. HUGE savings. I have him a few clothes too, so not adding much more for him.
DD wanted to know what she got, I told her buying her things in Washington. We aren't getting much as we will have to leave some of that stuff if we do.

[cooper88]

New Mexico makes it fairly easy for Medicaid to pay for a caregiver at home through a waiver program. The only problem is there is a shortage of caregivers, and family members would normally have to take a big pay cut to be a paid caregiver. Also, they can only go up to so many hours per week (equal to the dollar amount of a nursing home stay). If they need twenty four hour care, it has to be in a facility. Which sucks.

[andi9899]

Nov 9, 2023 10:30:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

We need to stop devaluing caretaking as well and quit considering it "familial duty" and/or "God's work".

Which ends up translating into it automatically being significantly devalued and since it is unpaid "family" work it ends up being mostly women who do it.

I know it's a cardinal sin on this board to say so but I am of the strong opinion there either needs to be a tax break or government backed financial compensation for caretaking.  I am just doing the financial aspect of it and it is almost a full time job in itself.  I've been penalized at work because I have to take time to do this crap during work hours because the people I need to contact are only open 8-5.  Then I have to be on the phone for God knows how long because they can't find the POA paperwork I sent them two weeks ago.

Not only would that ease the damage done by having to leave the work force but that would assign a monetary value to it.  That would perhaps entice more men to take on the burden of elder care if they felt they could get compensated for it.

If I can't change the system why not game the system?

There also needs to be a MASSIVE overhaul in oversight and costs of elder care because it's a racket.  I know Athena liked to say she will outlive her money but I am skeptical.  My grandma is paying $9k a month and it keeps going up and up.   Meanwhile facilities are closing left and right because despite charging that much they are bankrupting themselves into oblivion.

Many people don't have a choice but to take in relatives if you don't want the relative to end up homeless or potentially charged with elder abuse once the inevitable happens like with my grandma.

Make getting care affordable.  AND pay more so people want to actually work in the field.  I've seen what the deal with $12/hr is a freaking crime.   I know the claim is "oh well the nursing homes will have to charge more".  They are already charging $9k per month!  I think they could spare some of that to pay their staff more.

And in regards to Medicaid here is a secret I just learned.  While Medicaid will only pay $5k give or take I still have to hand over my grandmother's SS and pension to the nursing home.  So they are getting an extra $2k from me every month on top of the $5k they get from Medicaid.  If they can't operate on $7k +/- a month per resident something is wrong.

Here we do have a program that pays people to be caretakers. It's something like $10-15/hour, so not a lot. At least it's something. Honestly, I think it's disgusting that healthcare is a business in this country and not a right provided to all citizens.

ETA: Let me change that to taxpayers and their dependents. If you pay taxes, you should be afforded healthcare regardless of immigration status.

[soupandstew]

I am a little bit freaked out.  When I visited my author this morning, he asked me to do the final edit on the autobiography, making any and all changes I desire without prior consultation.  He told me to put in what I wanted, take out what I wanted, and reword as desired.   I am stunned, flattered, grateful and scared - all at the same time.  Our goal is to have it ready to hand over to an agent in January.  

[weltz]

Nov 9, 2023 13:18:31 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Nov 9, 2023 13:01:00 GMT -5 weltz said:

Oh, but it gets so much worse!  Families with minor children get $600 a month per minor child.

www.fadoq.ca/en/reseau/news/news/government-payment-quebec-inflation#:~:text=Revenu%20Qu%C3%A9bec%20is%20expected%20to,at%20an%20income%20of%20%2454%2C000.

That link is for a one time stimulus payment.

Sorry. Let's try this.


www.rrq.gouv.qc.ca/en/programmes/soutien_enfants/paiement/Pages/paiment.aspx

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

And FIL has COVID.  DH is freaking out after what happened with MIL.

[andi9899]

I had to store my enormous stand up freezer since there isn't room for it at my new place. T2 had an idea to get a small chest freezer. I think I can make it work. This whole tiny box of a freezer isn't working for me. I figure in a year or two when I buy my next house, I can take it with me or give it to one of the girls. Now I gotta get my dad to go with me in his truck to get it this weekend. I checked and it only weighs 70 pounds. I can probably pick it up by myself and get it in and out of the truck.

[andi9899]

Nov 9, 2023 14:17:20 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

And FIL has COVID.  DH is freaking out after what happened with MIL.

Oh no! Hopefully he turns out OK.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nov 9, 2023 14:22:47 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 9, 2023 14:17:20 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

And FIL has COVID.  DH is freaking out after what happened with MIL.

Oh no! Hopefully he turns out OK.

That might explain the vertigo and being really weak.

Honestly while they put COVID down as cause of death I don't buy it.  

COVID was a "bonus" and hastened her death IMO.  I truly do believe if she had not died she would have proceeded with the second leg and died during that one.  She was already having severe complications with anesthesia by that surgery.

This is one time I do believe they put down COVID because they could so they could avoid a malpractice suit because DH's family certainly had one.

[weltz]

EVERYBODY here has the  RSV virus.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I was up at the buttcrack of dawn this morning to take DS to SEA for a 9:30 flight.  Crappy time to drive through Seattle as I hit the rush hour going both north and south.  It took me 2.5 hours going south, another 2 hours to go north.  

Normally, I schedule flights our flights around rush hour traffic, trying to get us out before 7 am, 10-2 or after 7pm…..especially on a weekday.  

Have to go pick her up Sunday morning, that shouldn’t be too bad.   

[finnime]

Nov 9, 2023 14:00:03 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

I am a little bit freaked out.  When I visited my author this morning, he asked me to do the final edit on the autobiography, making any and all changes I desire without prior consultation.  He told me to put in what I wanted, take out what I wanted, and reword as desired.   I am stunned, flattered, grateful and scared - all at the same time.  Our goal is to have it ready to hand over to an agent in January.  

That's really exciting! Good for you.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 9, 2023 14:09:58 GMT -5 weltz said:

Nov 9, 2023 13:18:31 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

That link is for a one time stimulus payment.

Sorry. Let's try this.


www.rrq.gouv.qc.ca/en/programmes/soutien_enfants/paiement/Pages/paiment.aspx

It says max amount is $2782/child/year.  Sounds similar to our 2K child tax credit.

www.rrq.gouv.qc.ca/en/enfants/naissance/paiement_soutien_enfants/Pages/montant.aspx

[daisylu]

Nov 9, 2023 12:24:41 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Nov 9, 2023 11:13:25 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

My 2 cents is the problem with nursing homes and care facilities is that they have been brought up by private equity. It's just another investment to them and all they care about is how many dollars they can wring out of the operation. They don't care about paying their employees a decent wage and they don't care about the quality of care provided to the residents of these facilities.

Capitalism at its finest, at least since "trickle down economics"

I am having issues with making edits or posting on my phone. Meant to be:


Capitalism at its finest, at least since "trickle down economics", which NEVER trickled down. Instead CEOs keep raking it in. CEO vs worker pay rates in 1985 were 50:1, in 2021 they were 398:1 - and that is only the top 350 publicly owned companies. link

[daisylu]

Nov 9, 2023 12:19:24 GMT -5 weltz said:

Also, daycare is $8.35 a day. They want women to go back to work.

I hope the US catches up soon.

JFC. I was paying $280/week for childcare for 2 kids in 2002 in the US. It was church owned (though they did not do church teachings) and fairly cheap in this area at that time. I worked nights to make more money and the kids were in day care during the day. I do not know what I would have done if my parents were not available to have the kids at night. I could have made it work if I was working days but it would have been beyond a struggle. 

That kind of circles back to elder care being out of reach for most people.