what are you doing right now?

[chiver78]

Nov 4, 2023 12:54:50 GMT -5 weltz said:

Sushi always sleeps with me.  Always. He also has to be in the same room with me, making fur-to-skin contact. All this started when I had my heart attack. It's like he's monitoring my heartbeat, because he loves me.



...or maybe he wants to make sure I'm dead before he eats me.

I hold zero illusions about what will happen to my body if I die in my sleep while these two are still alive. lol.... the ringer on my phone doesn't work, and I don't speak to people on the regular. the nearest keys to my house are with M and mooch, 45min away. y'all can do the math. lol... 

[soupandstew]

Happy hour is starting earlier today so that I don't reply to an email.  There is little that seriously offends me more than someone saying "I know you feel this, I know you believe that, I know you want XYZ" when they don't know any such thing.  If you want to know how I feel or believe or what I want, just ask me and I will be delighted to enlighten you.  But do not presume to attribute your feelings, beliefs and intentions to me.  

The same person keeps saying they are "sure" they read this or that in the bylaws or minutes but, when challenged, can't cite the section where this alleged information resides.  You can credibly pull that once, maybe, but she's doing it on a weekly basis and that's not flying with me.  

[finnime]

soupandstew,

Hell is other people.

                                Jean-Paul Sartre

[NastyWoman]

So I am back home and the world is quite a bit louder now. I needed hearing aids (actually since late 2019 but I was dawdling and then we were send home) and after talking to several friends I decided to go to Costco. Today these things were calibrated and, though it feels a bit itchy, I am wearing them now. There will be a follow up appointment on the 18th, the Saturday before TG!!! I will have to do some strategical planning on where to park* that day. It was a zoo when I left as expected with people blocking the driveway to get one of those elusive parking spots. I probably will end up walking a bit farther and then I will have less blocked lanes to battle.


* My appointment is first thing when they open up so I'll have plenty of choice.

[soupandstew]

Nov 4, 2023 14:17:07 GMT -5 finnime said:

soupandstew ,

Hell is other people.

                                Jean-Paul Sartre

  Thank you!  Indeed it sometimes is.

[soupandstew]

Nov 4, 2023 14:29:26 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

So I am back home and the world is quite a bit louder now. I needed hearing aids (actually since late 2019 but I was dawdling and then we were send home) and after talking to several friends I decided to go to Costco. Today these things were calibrated and, though it feels a bit itchy, I am wearing them now. There will be a follow up appointment on the 18th, the Saturday before TG!!! I will have to do some strategical planning on where to park* that day. It was a zoo when I left as expected with people blocking the driveway to get one of those elusive parking spots. I probably will end up walking a bit farther and then I will have less blocked lanes to battle.


* My appointments is first thing when they open up so I'll have plenty of choice.

Congratulations on your new "ears" - DH gets his at Costco too.  And he had his follow-up visit the week before Christmas last year.  I still haven't forgiven him 

[daisylu]

Went to every home improvement place in town to get a replacement toilet seat. Apparently one of the kids broke it and never said anything. It is still usable, you just can't shut the lid.

Of course no one had what I wanted - elongated, bone, made of wood, and soft closing. I then remembered that I ordered from Amazon, which now shows as "unavailable". So now I'm looking for a replacement.

ETA - Leaving the house is overrated.

[minnesotapaintlady]

My migraine finally broke and I'm functioning again.  Unfortunately the day is almost done and I got nothing on my list done.  I suppose I'd best start and at least try to cross a couple things off.

[NastyWoman]

Nov 4, 2023 15:23:04 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

My migraine finally broke and I'm functioning again.  Unfortunately the day is almost done and I got nothing on my list done.  I suppose I'd best start and at least try to cross a couple things off.

Call the list "future goals" and you can feel very accomplished/ a streber if you will by just covering one or two tasks

[countrygirl2]

I just went to the basement and loaded a whole container with size 16 jeans of mine. Than another box full of XL tops, they are all very nice items. I added some more cleaning products I don't use from the one tenant. Yes, it was unbelievable what she left, I have more!

I pitched a sweeper I have nursed for years and bought parts for, the motor finally quit so in the trash. I dumped it. I quit on messing with it, must be 15 or 20 years old. Got a free shark one from another tenant that moved. It's really heavy and a push around but I will manage and it works good.

Also put a nice floor lamp out there. I see more and more folks just giving stuff away, hard to sell it.  So than I posted on our town forum free stuff and the sizes and said take some or all. It wasn't 15 minutes till someone was here going through it. I came in till there gone, don't want to embarrass people, some are.

I have a whole case of zinc canning lids from his mom, those I'm going to sell, you can still buy the rubber gaskets for them. Well than I think about it and may keep them for DIL. I think if I get up there we will be canning. I have not seen those since a kid. But you can use them forever.

Ok, may get some more stuff out of the basement. I cannot believe all the clothes I have. I've been giving them away for years. I need to just finish. If I gain weight will just have to get some new ones I guess. Right now around the house I'm living in sweats.

[countrygirl2]

Hubs and I are considering something like this. He said no repairs, no nothing to fix will have a warranty. We will know more in a few months of how able he will be. This is close to the kids too. The HOA does the front yard, but I don't know, seems to much stuff done for us. And the new houses are selling for less than resales, man that would be the pits for people having to sell. Looks like less are going on the market up there too

www.trulia.com/home/3243-64th-ln-sw-50-olympia-wa-98512-2054830870#:~:text=3243%2064th%20Lane%20SW%20Lot50%0AOlympia%2C%20WA%2098512

We will know in 3 weeks if his PSA is 0. If not they are doing hormone therapy and I'm not sure if they will do radiation at that time.  If they didn't get it all as aggressive as it seems to be, I don't know.

We aren't even sure he will go for Christmas. His incontinence is a problem whether it will get better or not we have to see. He is trying to do the exercises, the therapist couldn't get to him till the 18th. They have one I guess that deals with mens issues. I told hubs think about talking to them about getting someone else as they said these are important.

I told him I will stay home too, he said no, grandson will need one of us there.

[notagain]

Cg no no no!!!!!

[NastyWoman]

Nov 4, 2023 15:57:56 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Hubs and I are considering something like this. He said no repairs, no nothing to fix will have a warranty. We will know more in a few months of how able he will be. This is close to the kids too. The HOA does the front yard, but I don't know, seems to much stuff done for us. And the new houses are selling for less than resales, man that would be the pits for people having to sell. Looks like less are going on the market up there too

www.trulia.com/home/3243-64th-ln-sw-50-olympia-wa-98512-2054830870#:~:text=3243%2064th%20Lane%20SW%20Lot50%0AOlympia%2C%20WA%2098512

...

One word: stairs!


You already have problems to get to your basement at times. That will NOT get better over time. No matter how nice looking this is you need a house without any stairs anywhere

[notagain]

Cg i know you need to be busy. How about helping a cause you believe in im sure your local humane branch would love
extra loving hands

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Found a large Lambchop with a Santa hat on at Walmart.

Mom would have loved it. So it came home with me for my collection.

Also found the inflatable Christmas pug. There were only two left so.I grabbed it now.

Gwen already has it set up in the front yard.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 4, 2023 15:57:56 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Hubs and I are considering something like this. He said no repairs, no nothing to fix will have a warranty. We will know more in a few months of how able he will be. This is close to the kids too. The HOA does the front yard, but I don't know, seems to much stuff done for us. And the new houses are selling for less than resales, man that would be the pits for people having to sell. Looks like less are going on the market up there too

www.trulia.com/home/3243-64th-ln-sw-50-olympia-wa-98512-2054830870#:~:text=3243%2064th%20Lane%20SW%20Lot50%0AOlympia%2C%20WA%2098512

It's beautiful, but I agree with the others on the stairs.  All the bedrooms and bathrooms are upstairs and there's no way to just live on the lower level if one of you has to.  I would look for a ranch or at least a house with the master bedroom downstairs.  Even now at 55 that's what I'd be looking for in a house meant to take me to my 80's or 90's.

[jerseygirl]

Our DD and SIL are athletes and have first floor BR and bath - injuries not age

[countrygirl2]

None of the new ones they are building are one level, can you believe that?

Everything I put out there is gone. I filled 2 more boxes with clothing and put those out just now, so will see if they go.

I kept my clothes for years. I even moved some back from Texas I took to Texas!! A couple of years ago I finally gave all those away, they were too small. Now I"m giving away the too big ones. Probably will regret it. There are still lots down there. I cannot believe all the money I have spent for clothing, but I'm beating it down. We are not moving all this stuff. 

We agree about the stairs, but finding one all level that we can afford or is way out will be a challenge. We don't want to have to spend all our money for a house, we want money left to enjoy what life we have left.
Hubs said we could get one of those chair lifts. Might be ok for one flight, but not where you have to go around a corner and have another one.

We aren't doing anything now unless we find a heck of a deal we can't pass up. But those go quickly.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 4, 2023 17:27:28 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

None of the new ones they are building are one level, can you believe that?
.

I suppose because they can get more square footage and therefore more money on a smaller lot with a taller house.  

[countrygirl2]

Yep, they are maximizing land use, for sure.

[countrygirl2]

Nasty Woman, how do you like the hearing aids? I need to get some and don't know what to get. We have a Costco card In Washington and I can go up there.

Any advice appreciated.

[Pink Cashmere]

When I went to go to bed last night, Mister had taken Boy with him to sleep in another bedroom. I am sure that was because of what I said to him yesterday about how he minimizes the things I tell him contribute to sleepless nights for me. So on the surface, that was good. 

And it did turn out to be good for me, because I got more sleep than I normally do. Still not enough, but 4 or 5 hours of sleep, vs 2 or 3.

But overall, it’s just part of the games he is playing with me, in an effort to avoid addressing the deeper issues and owning his part in them. We agreed over a month ago that he would sleep in another bedroom 3 nights/week, for the well being of both of us, and he only did it the first night after our agreement. So now I am supposed to be moved because he voluntarily slept with Boy in another bedroom last night, for ME, because I was so disagreeable yesterday. 

Which means he is the good guy, right? NOT! Because there is so much other stuff to the story that says otherwise. Play with your children, don’t play with me.

I have an appointment (finally!) with my therapist next week. As upset as I am with Mister right now, I hope I can get and keep her AND myself on track with the goal I stated from the beginning, to work on ME, and not my relationship with Mister. At this point, I am not willing to have him to attend any of my sessions, regardless of what she says and suggests. I’m not seeing her for help with my relationship, I sought her help for ME. It has become clear that I have gotten myself into a whole mess and a precarious situation with Mister, so what I need now, is help putting myself back together, once again, regardless of any relationships I have, including my relationship with Mister. 

I am no longer overly concerned with Mister and I staying together. I am concerned about me and my well being …..meaning my mental and physical health. And now I am also concerned about the financial repercussions of continuing as I have been, with Mister, since it has become clear that, once again, we aren’t on the same page in some ways. I am not willing to waste any more time being foolish, so survivor mode it is. Which means that even Mister is expendable if my relationship with him is not such that it provides a safe space for me to thrive, instead of just survive. I can and have just “survived” on my own, for years, and I am not willing to be in a committed relationship where I have to function in survival mode. I can exist like that, on my own, with nobody’s help.

The bottom line is that even though I’ve spent 9 years showing him who I am, and being upfront and honest with him, and always acted in good character and integrity, now that his income is twice mine, after I fooled with him and had his back in the early years when my income was more than his, now he has “a lot to lose”, and I am something akin to a gold digger (my words), because of the health issues I have, that have severely affected my income since December of last year.

I can create a timeline to show why and when things got so bad for me, which in hindsight had a lot to do with him and his family since the timeline definitely correlates with shit that was going in on his side. It was in December that my GI issues started becoming an every day thing. It was also in December that his Mom stopped eating and refusing a feeding tube, which we were told would help her body heal. It was also in early December that his Dad was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with congestive heart failure and a blood clot in his lung. It was also in December that he brought his Dad to our hime after he was released from the hospital, to try to care for him.

But I guess, because they weren’t my parents, none of that should’ve cause me any stress, not even Mr. Messy being in my home after he was released from the hospital (the same day we rode all over the other side of the city for hours, trying to find Mister’s Aunt after she drove away from her Doctor’s office against medical advice) when he was clearly not in his right mind, which only got worse, much worse, after that. I should’ve been stress free and unconcerned about any of them, or all the chaos Mr. Messy started causing in my household, and if I had done so, maybe my body would not have rebelled the way it did.  

I am not even interested in trying to get Mister to understand any of that, or try to defend myself, so whatever. I have proven and show him who I am for over 9 years now, so fuck me trying to prove myself some more now, He is Big Willy now, with a 6 figure income, and a lot to lose, and I am a gold digger that just wants to use him because I am being trifling and just don’t want to go to work. Now that I understand, I will proceed accordingly. 

[azucena]

Pink - sorry you're having to process so much at once while still dealing with insomnia and physical symptoms. Glad you have therapy coming. When I have a lot thrown at me, I try to go into therapy with my top two items written down so I don't spin in circles or follow tangents.

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 4, 2023 17:52:45 GMT -5 azucena said:

Pink - sorry you're having to process so much at once while still dealing with insomnia and physical symptoms. Glad you have therapy coming. When I have a lot thrown at me, I try to go into therapy with my top two items written down so I don't spin in circles or follow tangents.

Thank you. 

For my upcoming appointment, I don’t even want to talk about Mister, or my relationship with him. And I hope I am successful with avoiding that, even though I am very aggravated about it.

I just want tools to help manage my stress, and even recognizing when I am stressed….. with my brain, before my body tells me. 

[ners]

Enjoying adult beverages.

It has been a week.  Water back up in basement on Sunday.  Fixed on Monday.  Realized hot water tank not working on Tuesday. Fixed on Wednesday.  Went out to dinner last night.  DF's phone fell out of his pocket and landed between the wall and bench.  Awesome servicer fished it out.  

[giramomma]

I have so much to do tomorrow.

[countrygirl2]

Yes I want to move out of here as soon as we can. I'm afraid hubs will get down and not be able to do all he does. I can't pick it all up and do it anymore. And he is not giving the renter a timeline to move. I know its not going to be easy but I want to get done and out of all this rental stuff. I can't shoulder everything again like I used to, plus I don't want to.  Been doing it for too many years, I never did get to retire and still haven't. 

I think he feels we can just go ahead and he will be fine. I can see me ending up with having to move and handle everything. I did a lot of that moving here, I'm not sure I could do it again.

Anyway I'm getting rid of stuff. Our garage looks pretty good this evening and I have emptied some more storage containers in the basement. I hope to do many more because 90% of that stuff is not going anywhere with us. We are going to get down to minimalist at least in the house. The rest I have no idea what to do with of hubs. But I have enough to do in here. It's getting better each time.

Hubs has been watching two different shows, one is called "Remedy" and the other is "Gotham City" a series we have not seen. I like both of them. So for a change we are both watching some shows we like.

[soupandstew]

I sent an email response which was all adult and professional and such.  And I composed and deleted about 10 more that weren't.  I just opened a $100 bottle of wine meant for my author's Christmas gift.  Oh, well.  

[NastyWoman]

Nov 4, 2023 17:44:44 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Nasty Woman, how do you like the hearing aids? I need to get some and don't know what to get. We have a Costco card In Washington and I can go up there.

Any advice appreciated.

I'll get back to you once I am used to it. Already I turned down my radio and, unlike before, I can hear it in the kitchen. It is all clearer now. Mind you these are not those cheapie things they advertise on tv so, despite being much cheaper than at Kaiser, they still were not cheap.

[finnime]

I'm glad you have the appointment next week, Pink Cashmere. You do need to define your own concerns and limits and strengths standing alone before you can address the issues you may have enmeshed with another. When I say "you" I mean the general you, not you specifically. Of course your, Pink's, life has been turned over completely with the major changes affecting Mister's and your focus and time. Anyway, I think it can only be good for your total health to get a therapist on board.