what are you doing right now?

[raeoflyte]

Feeling a little overwhelmed this morning but just need to tackle things.

[andi9899]

Oct 15, 2023 15:51:19 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

DH cracks me up sometimes.  Yesterday he discovered the Mexican soft drink brand Jarritos and is happily exploring all the flavors - so far he gone through lime, guava and mango.  We've only lived in Texas forever but he never noticed it in all the stores.  He thinks the old-time skinny glass bottles are really cool.  He discovered Stella Artois beer back in June on our cruise so this is a landmark year for him 

Ooh! The mandarin one is my fave. If he likes tamarindo, they have one in that flavor too. Make sure you get it in a glass bottle. That's the best way to drink it. Here they sell it in 2 liters at the grocery store, but it's not the same.

[swamp]

I now have a 4th driver in my house.  DD got her permit today. 

ETA:  She will be eligible to get her license in April, so then I will have 2 kids fighting over the kid car. 

[giramomma]

Oct 16, 2023 9:57:56 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Oct 16, 2023 9:05:30 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Seriously. I just watched like a half hour of whose line to be able to deal. I'm not going to get things done at a rate i need to today, if I keep having to do that.

Have you watched the bit with Richard Simmons? I laughed so hard I cried.

I did.  That was good!

[giramomma]

I am also in a better place about a work situation. It always takes me a while to get back to

  not my job. But, I'm getting better about it.

[weltz]

The pool is fixed, so I'm going swimming. 
I made way too much turkey soup yesterday, so I'll give some to the African family downstairs. They have two kids. 
I'll also give some to Bill, the chemo patient next door.
I'll still have plenty left.

[countrygirl2]

They just called hubs today to go over some pre op stuff, set up blood work for type and all.

Now he has another appointment in the morning at 8 to go over what in the morning?? DD has 
an appointment at 2PM so I should be able to go with him. I'm going to ask as we have no idea why they are having him come in tomorrow. He has pre op orders, time to be there and everything for next Tuesday. Hubs said if there was anything wrong they would have told him. This was just information about the surgery, so I don't know. 

Maybe that is what the appointment is in the morning?

Ok, have to go to town to sign insurance papers cancelling ins for the post office.

[NastyWoman]

Oct 16, 2023 8:32:56 GMT -5 notagain said:

Thanks Chloe! I didn't think you were the toe cooking type😂😂😂

And here I was thinking it was some obscure type of measurement. You DO throw your feet into everything after all 

[giramomma]

Oct 16, 2023 11:41:12 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

They just called hubs today to go over some pre op stuff, set up blood work for type and all.

Now he has another appointment in the morning at 8 to go over what in the morning?? DD has 
an appointment at 2PM so I should be able to go with him. I'm going to ask as we have no idea why they are having him come in tomorrow. He has pre op orders, time to be there and everything for next Tuesday. Hubs said if there was anything wrong they would have told him. This was just information about the surgery, so I don't know. 

Maybe that is what the appointment is in the morning?

Ok, have to go to town to sign insurance papers cancelling ins for the post office.

CG, if it helps. It sounds pretty standard. The surgeon will want to talk through things with you.

Here's how it went for me:

Lump felt, radiologist diagnosed my cancer with ultrasound and mammo

Started paper work for biopsy

Biopsy confirmed cancer

Got MRI done a few days before meeting with surgeon. MRI found more cancer.

Met with surgeon to get explanation of cancer, went over my MRI, and started talking about two possible treatment paths.

Another biopsy to confirm cancer in lymph node and in other places in my boob.

Met with surgeon again. She thought chemo first, then surgery. and then radiation. Explained she wanted the tumor board to review.

Waited for results from Tumor board. They agreed. Chemo first path.

Went and got echo, made sure I was fit for chemo

Scheduled port placement and first chemo session.

[azucena]

Spent long weekend in Branson bc both girls had off school.  Toured Drury U in Springfield, MO with DD15 and we both really liked it. She seemed more at ease there than SIUE. Feels like we are leaning towards smaller, liberal arts vibe but need to tour a big school to see. Private school tuition is daunting!

DH and DD11 did silver dollar city and had a blast.

Saw Queen Esther at Sight and Sound theater. Amazing! All 4 of us want to go back when they do their next show.

Went to the outlet mall - finally got DD15 to replace her crappy tennis shoes. Learned she's a Reebok high top girl through and through. Got her a couple pairs of pants.

Left DH and DD11 to shop alone. Told DH that she's a 10/12 and youth large. Meanwhile, DD bought a pants in size 6/7, a dress in 7/8, a youth small vest, and a size 5 shirt. Most of which has to be too small, so now I'm going to have to return/exchange it at our local outlet for Children's place and Old Navy.

[bean29]

Oct 16, 2023 10:21:51 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Oct 15, 2023 15:51:19 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

DH cracks me up sometimes.  Yesterday he discovered the Mexican soft drink brand Jarritos and is happily exploring all the flavors - so far he gone through lime, guava and mango.  We've only lived in Texas forever but he never noticed it in all the stores.  He thinks the old-time skinny glass bottles are really cool.  He discovered Stella Artois beer back in June on our cruise so this is a landmark year for him 

Ooh! The mandarin one is my fave. If he likes tamarindo, they have one in that flavor too. Make sure you get it in a glass bottle. That's the best way to drink it. Here they sell it in 2 liters at the grocery store, but it's not the same.

DD and DH like the Tamarindo too.  DD even orders some kind of cocktail with Tamarindo in it.

I am frantically finishing my Tax Return.  I ended up taking today off b/c I could not get into the Government system to get the interest on DH's SBA loan.  Well, they transferred to a new system and they didn't pull over historical statements.  They don't issue 1098 statements on loans under $500,000 either.  They just gave me the total.  I was transferred 3x and had to do two 3 way calls to add DH in for him to authorize them to talk to me.  There is also something about Government loans having to use id.me.  I created an account but could not figure out how to add my SBA loan to ID.me.  I don't think they knew either.  It was just mandated as of last month.

I also am missing a 1099 NEC on some business income. I had the income in turbo tax all along, just did not realize I did not have the 1099 until the end, b/c I tallied that business income up for our Lawyer to review in February and never went back and looked at it again.  I sent an e-mail and they sent back a 1099 for 2021, I said no I need 2022, and then they sent me a screen shot of the 2022 production, but not a 1099.  I think they never created a 1099-NEC and reported it to the IRS.  I plan to dissolve the business this year, and will report everything accurately on my taxes.

Last thing I have to do is review Turbo Tax's handling of my HSA.  I had 8300 in box W on my W-2 for HSA contributions (7300 family + 1000 catch up) and 7350.24 distributions for medical bills incurred.  the HSA account is only in my name, DH does not have a separate account.  Health ins is also under me.  Turbo tax says DH was not covered all of 2022 and I can't figure out where they are getting that idea.  I didn't answer any questions about that.  I have this issue every year.  I will figure it out once I put my eyes on the forms again. I owe a tiny smidge but I can't probably make it go poof with some additional rental expenses.  

[bean29]

LOL so someone from that company sent me an e-mail saying they don't send 1099's.  I had 15-16,000 in income.  I am having trouble reconciling to the number they gave me earlier, but that is well above the 600 threshold for a 1099 to be created.  I would guess they are breaking a few laws.

[jerseygirl]

I worked for a company based in London. They finally sent me a 1099, handwritten.

[jerseygirl]

Feeling well! Going to California for a week to visit ODS and DIL. Housekeeper will stay with Jerseyguy. He’s doing very well but I’ll be more comfortable knowing someone is with him.

[giramomma]

Oct 16, 2023 14:23:37 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

Feeling well! Going to California for a week to visit ODS and DIL. Housekeeper will stay with Jerseyguy. He’s doing very well but I’ll be more comfortable knowing someone is with him.

I hope you have a wonderful time!

[giramomma]

Got rejected from the most recent job application.

The first interview that I took (and didn't do so well on the first question) still hasn't fully rejected me in the system yet. It's been almost 2 months from when the application was due and 6 weeks since I took the first interview. You'd think they'd have someone who has accepted the job by now.

[Pink Cashmere]

Oct 16, 2023 9:25:15 GMT -5 busymom said:

I got up at 5 am & took a Covid test.  It was negative, so went back to sleep.  Most likely my congestion & headache is from my Fall allergies, which really weren't bad the last few years, as I had been wearing a mask whenever I went out in public.  I haven't worn a mask this Fall, so I feel like my allergies are kicking my a$$ right now, but I have a lot to get done the next few days, so I must power through.  

My allergies are kicking my butt too. I hope you feel better soon.

[andi9899]

Oct 15, 2023 21:14:32 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Went up to Vancouver this morning to see TD’s mom.  Picked up take out dim sum.  MIL has decided that when her daughter leaves, she wants to do it alone.  TD is pissed, his sister is pissed.  She clearly needs help.  He said that he was going to come up anyway, and his mom said she’d send him home.  Damn woman.  She’s going to hurt herself again.

This is the same fight I have with my mom on the daily. She doesn't think she needs a walker and that she can go up and down stairs. Next I'm being called to help pick her up off the floor because my dad can't do it by himself. Last time she went to the ER and they ran a bunch of tests to tell her there's nothing wrong with her. She just needs to use her walker.

[andi9899]

Oct 16, 2023 10:27:56 GMT -5 swamp said:

I now have a 4th driver in my house.  DD got her permit today. 

ETA:  She will be eligible to get her license in April, so then I will have 2 kids fighting over the kid car. 

I have one I'm getting ready to sell for a few thousand. I'm signing my car over to T1, selling hers and getting a new one.

[daisylu]

Work threw a bunch of junk at me while I was driving, so have some work to do tonight - which I am very unhappy about.

Southwest Virginia foliage looked close to full peak and was beautiful!

[Pink Cashmere]

Mister’s aunt (his Mom’s only sibling) upset Mister’s nerves yesterday and he still isn’t right. She told him she misses her sister soooo much, and how sad she is that she can’t call her to just talk. Mister said he can’t call her to talk either. He lost being able to call her to talk, get advice on life and his children, have somebody to pray for him, and some other stuff “times TWO”, pointing out that he just lost BOTH of his parents. I guess his aunt could tell he got agitated because she apologized, but Mister is still triggered today, if that’s the right word for it. 

Idk why she and his brother talk to him as if he is not hurting too. She could’ve just as easily said, I know you miss your Mom, I miss her too, blah blah blah, which would’ve at least acknowledged his pain too.

He said maybe because they haven’t seen him cry or be emotional about it (which he did cry at the funeral) and he still handled business, they think he is okay. I told him that is BULLSHIT. Both of them are old enough to know that this has to be painful for him too, because they both know that he was very close to his parents, so that excuse does not fly with me. They are both just very self centered and selfish, the shit they do has proven that, many times, before we even get to how they disregard the fact that Mister is grieving too.

I told him today when he brought it up again, that I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt him or cause him pain, but that doesn’t change the fact that she did, and that he gets to feel however he feels about it. I think the problem is that he had gotten to the point where he wasn’t consumed by constant thoughts about it all, but she reminded him of all the things he’s lost, that he can’t have from his parents anymore, and now he can’t stop thinking about it again.

His Dad’s older sister that I bonded with, she checks on him, often by just asking me how is he doing. She is honest about how she struggles with losing her brother, who was like the perfect brother to her (and she’s shared with me some things that have always made her feel like that), but she also expresses genuine concern for Mister, and if I say he’s not doing too good, she contacts him directly, to try to comfort him. She has not told him any of the stuff she’s told me. From the beginning, she kept saying that everything that needed to be done, was about Mister and his brother first, and what they needed and wanted. 

That is one of the things I love about her, she lost who seems to have been her favorite sibling (she’s never said that, it’s just the sense I get), but even with her own grief, she cares that her nephews have been through a lot, and everything isn’t about her. From the time Mr. Messy was in ICU, and while she was with us making funeral arrangements, she consistently made it clear that whatever her nephews needed and wanted, was what needed to happen, and she supported them. Even when she was very clearly, very, very sad herself. She told me a million times to let her know if there was anything at all she could do, no matter what time of day or night it was. I gave her a couple of tasks, one of which was asking her to tell Aunt G (Mister’s Mom’s sister) that Mr. Messy had passed, so Mister wouldn’t have to deal with all of her wailing that was sure to follow. Aunt D was on it immediately and after it was done, she called and told me she was glad I asked her to do it because Mister didn’t need to hear how Aunt G wailed and carried on after she was told.

Anyway, Aunt G  probably won’t be hearing from Mister again anytime soon.

[Pink Cashmere]

The vet has still not called us to tell us we can come get Boy. Mister has been antsy all day, and a couple hours ago he asked me to call and check on Boy, which I did. They just said that he’s doing good and the vet will call us when he is ready to be discharged.

He had to sign a waiver this morning, giving them permission to use anesthesia on Boy. Boy is use to us touching him wherever and poking around, because I started randomly doing it when he was younger, just to get him use to it, in case there was ever a real need for it, like the last few days. So even though he didn’t like it, he has let us poke around on his paw when we were trying to pinpoint the issue, but he cried yesterday when Mister was trying to clean it and tend to it. So even though Boy loves the veterinarian assistant we’ve dealt with (and got all excited and wiggly when she came to take him to the back) they still aren’t us, and we weren’t sure he would let them mess with his paw, so we were prepared that they might need to sedate him.

I am ready for him to come home now though!

[giramomma]

Oct 16, 2023 15:57:06 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Mister’s aunt (his Mom’s only sibling) upset Mister’s nerves yesterday and he still isn’t right. She told him she misses her sister soooo much, and how sad she is that she can’t call her to just talk. Mister said he can’t call her to talk either. He lost being able to call her to talk, get advice on life and his children, have somebody to pray for him, and some other stuff “times TWO”, pointing out that he just lost BOTH of his parents. I guess his aunt could tell he got agitated because she apologized, but Mister is still triggered today, if that’s the right word for it. 

Idk why she and his brother talk to him as if he is not hurting too. She could’ve just as easily said, I know you miss your Mom, I miss her too, blah blah blah, which would’ve at least acknowledged his pain too.

He said maybe because they haven’t seen him cry or be emotional about it (which he did cry at the funeral) and he still handled business, they think he is okay. I told him that is BULLSHIT. Both of them are old enough to know that this has to be painful for him too, because they both know that he was very close to his parents, so that excuse does not fly with me. They are both just very self centered and selfish, the shit they do has proven that, many times, before we even get to how they disregard the fact that Mister is grieving too.

You hit the nail on the head with self-centered. Or minimally, a lack of self-awareness. 

It could be a combination of things. No one tells you, as the younger generation, that your job is to support the older one when someone passes. W

At least. No one told me that....the longest relationship would be prioritized. So, I could see how someone who has known someone for their whole life and is an adult feels like they have more "rights" than a child, even an adult child. 

It also could be part of whatever generational unhealthiness has happened mister's families. 

It always helps me to take a step back and realize that it really isn't personally directed at me. You can't expect people to do or be things they aren't capable of, KWIM?

[soupandstew]

Oct 16, 2023 16:26:39 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Oct 16, 2023 15:57:06 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Mister’s aunt (his Mom’s only sibling) upset Mister’s nerves yesterday and he still isn’t right. She told him she misses her sister soooo much, and how sad she is that she can’t call her to just talk. Mister said he can’t call her to talk either. He lost being able to call her to talk, get advice on life and his children, have somebody to pray for him, and some other stuff “times TWO”, pointing out that he just lost BOTH of his parents. I guess his aunt could tell he got agitated because she apologized, but Mister is still triggered today, if that’s the right word for it. 

Idk why she and his brother talk to him as if he is not hurting too. She could’ve just as easily said, I know you miss your Mom, I miss her too, blah blah blah, which would’ve at least acknowledged his pain too.

He said maybe because they haven’t seen him cry or be emotional about it (which he did cry at the funeral) and he still handled business, they think he is okay. I told him that is BULLSHIT. Both of them are old enough to know that this has to be painful for him too, because they both know that he was very close to his parents, so that excuse does not fly with me. They are both just very self centered and selfish, the shit they do has proven that, many times, before we even get to how they disregard the fact that Mister is grieving too.

You hit the nail on the head with self-centered. Or minimally, a lack of self-awareness. 

It could be a combination of things. No one tells you, as the younger generation, that your job is to support the older one when someone passes. W

At least. No one told me that....the longest relationship would be prioritized. So, I could see how someone who has known someone for their whole life and is an adult feels like they have more "rights" than a child, even an adult child. 

It also could be part of whatever generational unhealthiness has happened mister's families. 

It always helps me to take a step back and realize that it really isn't personally directed at me. You can't expect people to do or be things they aren't capable of, KWIM?

Well said.  I think a lot of problems arise when we haul out the scale and start measuring who is entitled to feel grief and how much.  Hurt hurts, damn it, regardless of relationship.  I agree it's lack of self-awareness at the very least.  And don't get me started on the whole issue of "showing grief".  Grief is not measured by tears shed; some of us cry and some don't dare show the vulnerability.  

[soupandstew]

Ah, it's autumn, when the leaves fall and the mailbox is stuff with Medicare enrollment literature and political flyers.  I can't imagine how much heavier the mail carrier's bag is during October and November

[countrygirl2]

So they called this morning to get information and give hubs info. Also set up blood work for lab for typing in case they need a transfusion?

Then set up an appt for in the morning for him to talk to someone. Than we got another call for him to come in Friday to talk with the surgeon. I would hate to think what a problem this would be if he was still working.  We already have all the pre op paperwork.

I'm asking tomorrow what they found on the scan. Since his ins card was illegible when in town stopped and got copies of a new one. They gave me 2 and even laminated them. I have been trying to register on the site and now matter what I do it says the new password is wrong, they want 12 numbers and characters. I hate this stuff trying to set things up anymore. We probably registered somewhere. I need to dig the paperwork out. Hubs said he doesn't need to register, I need to find out if his coverage is transferable to Washington like mine is. Maybe I can just call for a general question like that and get the info.

[Pink Cashmere]

Oct 16, 2023 16:26:39 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Oct 16, 2023 15:57:06 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Mister’s aunt (his Mom’s only sibling) upset Mister’s nerves yesterday and he still isn’t right. She told him she misses her sister soooo much, and how sad she is that she can’t call her to just talk. Mister said he can’t call her to talk either. He lost being able to call her to talk, get advice on life and his children, have somebody to pray for him, and some other stuff “times TWO”, pointing out that he just lost BOTH of his parents. I guess his aunt could tell he got agitated because she apologized, but Mister is still triggered today, if that’s the right word for it. 

Idk why she and his brother talk to him as if he is not hurting too. She could’ve just as easily said, I know you miss your Mom, I miss her too, blah blah blah, which would’ve at least acknowledged his pain too.

He said maybe because they haven’t seen him cry or be emotional about it (which he did cry at the funeral) and he still handled business, they think he is okay. I told him that is BULLSHIT. Both of them are old enough to know that this has to be painful for him too, because they both know that he was very close to his parents, so that excuse does not fly with me. They are both just very self centered and selfish, the shit they do has proven that, many times, before we even get to how they disregard the fact that Mister is grieving too.

You hit the nail on the head with self-centered. Or minimally, a lack of self-awareness. 

It could be a combination of things. No one tells you, as the younger generation, that your job is to support the older one when someone passes. W

At least. No one told me that....the longest relationship would be prioritized. So, I could see how someone who has known someone for their whole life and is an adult feels like they have more "rights" than a child, even an adult child. 

It also could be part of whatever generational unhealthiness has happened mister's families. 

It always helps me to take a step back and realize that it really isn't personally directed at me. You can't expect people to do or be things they aren't capable of, KWIM?

Oooooh, so many things in this post.

Imo, it is self centered and selfishness. Aunt G won’t even try to take care of herself, or try to properly manage her health conditions. Even though that means one or both of her nephews drive at least 40 minutes to her house to try to check on her when her friends call them because she’s not answering her phone or her door. And more than once, that’s been because she was stuck laying on the floor in her house. Or her nephew drives around for hours on her side of town, trying to find her after she left a doctor office against medical advice that she shouldn’t be driving. Or she’s been at our house, trying to get my son to give her adult beverages, because I refused, saying Mister had to say it was okay (I’d learned from gatherings at his parents’ house that she wasn’t supposed to drink alcohol because of her health issues, even though she wanted to), because aside from her health issues, she had to drive over 40 minutes to get back home. Most of which, I talked about here somewhere.

Mister’s brother, his being self centered and selfish, I think has been summed up in posts about him, where I talked about him insisting on being dependent on his parents, and then his Dad, whether they liked it or could afford it. 

I was a younger generation when my Grandmother died, but I had enough common sense and compassion to know that as difficult as it was, losing my Grandmother who meant so much to me, it was probably even more difficult for my Mom and my Aunt, because she was their Mom. It was devastating for my Aunt’s children as well, and for my Aunt’s Grandson, and my own children, because my Grandmother helped take care of her great grandchildren and spent a lot of time with them and spoiled them too. So in my mind, our grief wasn’t exactly the same, my grief wasn’t the same as my Mom and Aunt’s, or the same as her grandchildren’s, but because she had been such a big part of all of our day to day lives, literally from birth, even for her great- grandchildren, we were all grieving a huge loss, and in it together, and that was a time for love and compassion for and toward each other. 

I have been big on trying to remind myself that what other people do and say, isn’t always personal, and is usually more about them, than it is me. I feel like that is pretty much true, period. Even when it comes to reacting to what someone else does or says. Even if I piss you off to the highest level of pisstivity, and do or say something that most normal people would agree that your anger is totally justified, objectively speaking, how you react to whatever I said or did, is still a choice you get to make. It is a difficult thing to  accept and remember in everyday life and proceed accordingly (at least for me), but I do believe that it is true.

[weltz]

Oct 16, 2023 16:18:39 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

The vet has still not called us to tell us we can come get Boy. Mister has been antsy all day, and a couple hours ago he asked me to call and check on Boy, which I did. They just said that he’s doing good and the vet will call us when he is ready to be discharged.

He had to sign a waiver this morning, giving them permission to use anesthesia on Boy. Boy is use to us touching him wherever and poking around, because I started randomly doing it when he was younger, just to get him use to it, in case there was ever a real need for it, like the last few days. So even though he didn’t like it, he has let us poke around on his paw when we were trying to pinpoint the issue, but he cried yesterday when Mister was trying to clean it and tend to it. So even though Boy loves the veterinarian assistant we’ve dealt with (and got all excited and wiggly when she came to take him to the back) they still aren’t us, and we weren’t sure he would let them mess with his paw, so we were prepared that they might need to sedate him.

I am ready for him to come home now though!

Anesthesia for what?  Did he need surgery on his paw?

[swamp]

Oct 16, 2023 15:25:55 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Oct 16, 2023 10:27:56 GMT -5 swamp said:

I now have a 4th driver in my house.  DD got her permit today. 

ETA:  She will be eligible to get her license in April, so then I will have 2 kids fighting over the kid car. 

I have one I'm getting ready to sell for a few thousand. I'm signing my car over to T1, selling hers and getting a new one.

I’m interested.  Too bad you live 2000 miles away. 

[weltz]

The day started out well.  The pool is fixed, so I went swimming. I was feeling groovy.

Then I called Simon. It's a mess. Jordan (who was tazed) is back  home. He's no better, screaming and banging on the walls.  Simon was sitting in his car, just to get away from Jordan.  He's afraid of him.