what are you doing right now?

[Pink Cashmere]

So Mister had an appointment today too. His was virtual. He said he stayed in the virtual waiting room for almost 40 minutes, and nothing happened. He got a text an hour later from his therapist, saying she had to go pick up her sick child.

I am not okay. He is definitely not okay. Our relationship is in shambles. We are barely even speaking to each other, and when I do say something to him or ask him a question, he responds like I’m getting on his nerves. And I can’t seem to do anything right. I understand he is going through some shit and grieving, and I give him the space he seems to want, and don’t bother him. But idk about him being so snappy with me. He did say this afternoon that he is very angry, but he didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t push. I can accept the withdrawing and stuff, but being mean to me, not so much. Which is one of the reasons I was so eager for the appointment I had today, I don’t know how to handle that, because although I understand that he is deeply troubled right now, I am not okay with feeling like I’m being mistreated, and never will be. 

So, when we both need help and guidance more than ever, both of our appointments went awry. I am very discouraged, the appointment I thought I had today was what I’ve been holding onto for several days now, since I’ve not been able to get myself and my body to settle down. I was surprised today when he came home from work early and told me it was because he had an appointment.

DS was here, so I put on some sneakers and told DS to go to the park with me, trying to give Mister space and privacy for his appointment, and some alone time after. DS and I didn’t take any bikes, but we went to the trail I’ve talked about, to just walk it. We walked a total of over 3 miles. I already feel it, and I know I will feel it even more tomorrow.

When we were walking back to the car, I got an alert from our cameras, and saw that Mister was leaving home. I got kind of aggravated because he bitches about needing alone time, which has to mean time when he’s home alone, since he already spends time in his wanna be man cave with the door closed, and I don’t bother him, but when I make it my business to leave the house like I did today, he ends up leaving himself, for one reason or another. So even though I enjoyed walking with DS, it wasn’t really what I wanted to do, because I still feel like crap, and I had stuff I needed to be doing at home. I only did it so Mister could have the house to himself for a few hours. And then he wasn’t home anyway. That’s what happens every time lately, that I make it my business to leave home to give him some MORE space. So why should I bother?

I don’t want to be upset with him, because I can’t imagine what he must feel like after all that has happened, but I do have feelings too. Don’t want to talk, okay. Don’t have it in you to do relationship type stuff right now, okay. But don’t mistreat me, and don’t bitch when I give you what you seem to be asking for, by leaving the house, and you choose not to do with that time, whatever you claim to need to do with it, and you leave too.

My therapist did not reply to my text today asking if she had any cancellations, and online, it looks like she is booked up until the 3rd week in October. He did not even bother trying to reschedule his appointment that was a no show for his provider. At the rate we are going, there’s no telling what might happen by the 3rd week in October, if one or preferably both of us don’t have some help from somebody.

I am seriously worried…. about me, about him, and even about whether our relationship will survive this. And that is not helping at all with all the other shit I have going on that I can’t seem to get myself out of. Fuck me!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I have a headache.

First it was plastic tub o not clearly labeled 75% phosphoric acid showing up in my prep room.

Threw a fit over that one. Basic chemistry safety people!

Then crazy pants coworker swooped in on my work beastie to the point he snapped at her and off to the races she went.

I'm stuck helping in a flight of fancy doesn't matter project because the law says we have to change so the results don't matter that requires I rearrange my day to accommodate readings every 1.5 hours. I will receive no credit for this.

Then they were still working on our HVAC so I had to still be on.

Then I had the email with the giant ass list of documents I have a week to get.

I just want to go to bed but I'm waiting till my dad gets home. I need to give him the list so he can get me what he has and we can tear things apart looking for the rest.

It's only Tuesday!😭

[giramomma]

Well, it was good. He said hello, and then hung out with DD1 and watched elemental. They talked the whole time.

The missy checked in on them in between Bluey episodes nearly the whole entire time he was here.

I love it when my kids do my work for me.

I am exhausted.

[giramomma]

Hugs pink and drama.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Hugs pink.

DH and I were just awful to each other when our mom's died. This is 100% normal unfortunately.

It's like they say about kids they tend to misbehave the most around the people they love most because they trust we will always be there.

We had to learn to push and pull. That's what my therapist called it. Neither one us could set shit aside to be the other's rock but we needed each other.

We had to be graceful that if I pushed he backed down. He pushed I back down.

I cannot say we were very good at it and we were concerned about divorce but a year put we're doing better.

IDK if you're seeing an in state therapist or using an app. The apps have 24/7 chat. I could post as much as I wanted and she'd get back in 24 hours. I used that a lot.

Can you tell your therapist you're in crisis mode and need her to text you ASAP?

This is why I partly quit seeing the psychiatrist. I get he was busy but when a client calls you crying that she can't feel her legs due to the medication maybe call her back sooner than 2 weeks after!

[weltz]

Sept 26, 2023 17:37:55 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

My hubs put up a big ladder at the post office, I can't remember how tall but its a big one. He was hurting in his ribs on the left side, now he is really hurting. He thinks he pulled some muscles, I wanted to give him something but he won't take it.

We didn't have dinner perse again. DD had Subway in town, and I bought a huge salad. I started to get hubs a sandwich but he grumbles half the time when I bring one home so I didn't. He was going to open 2 cans of tamales and eat them. I asked him with his back if he could handle a can opener, he said he thought he could handle that, LOL!  I'm on one of my non cooking kicks. It will pass, so I made brownies and ate too many. Damn, I CANNOT DO THAT! My salad had no meat, some shredded cheese, just sunflower seeds, raisins, lettuce, cabbage, carrots, a few tomatoes, very few, and strawberry vinegarette dressing. They make their own and it is wonderful, I love that salad.

I can't decide if I'm going to start cleaning the trailer or start packing. DD said our neighbor could have her Monster High dolls to donate at the church for holidays. She said they all could go. They are all new in boxes still. I don't know how many, guessing at least 30 or 40?? She said other stuff in her room could go too. I hope so.

I told hubs want to bring the clothes racks out of the basement so when I have a sale I can put the clothing on those. I am going to start decluttering in the next couple of weeks. May have to wait till his side gets better.

I picked up a 5 gallon bucket of apples and some pears at the neighbors. Big beautiful apples this year, they are hanging in clusters off the tree, hundreds of them. I picked them up off the ground as they are just as good. The pear tree is the same, gorgeous pears. I'm sure he has offered to others, they are too lazy to come pick them, not me. I will make hubs another pie and me some stewed apples and keep some to eat.
What a waste, I look at all those and just upsets me when I know there are hungry people that could eat them and kids too.

You should keep a food diary and write down every morsel you put in your mouth, especially now since you're off the Ozempic. Too many brownies. Deep fried shrimp. Dipped ice cream cones. Burgers at Burger King.
Quick fixes in pill or injection form don't compare to good long-term dietary habits.  I think you'll be shocked at how much you eat.

[taz157]

Pink - I’m sorry for both you and Mister about your therapy appointments that didn’t happen. I hope things improve very soon for both of you.

[CCL]

 Pink Cashmere

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 26, 2023 20:36:23 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Hugs pink.

DH and I were just awful to each other when our mom's died. This is 100% normal unfortunately.

It's like they say about kids they tend to misbehave the most around the people they love most because they trust we will always be there.

We had to learn to push and pull. That's what my therapist called it. Neither one us could set shit aside to be the other's rock but we needed each other.

We had to be graceful that if I pushed he backed down. He pushed I back down.

I cannot say we were very good at it and we were concerned about divorce but a year put we're doing better.

IDK if you're seeing an in state therapist or using an app. The apps have 24/7 chat. I could post as much as I wanted and she'd get back in 24 hours. I used that a lot.

Can you tell your therapist you're in crisis mode and need her to text you ASAP?

This is why I partly quit seeing the psychiatrist. I get he was busy but when a client calls you crying that she can't feel her legs due to the medication maybe call her back sooner than 2 weeks after!

I get it how you compare it to kids acting out, but he acts like he doesn’t even want me here. I don’t know what to do with that. When he first started acting weird, I was able to tell myself that it wasn’t me that he was upset with, which I believed and still believe is true.

But he said something last week that really triggered me and sent me somewhere way out in left field, and made ME not even want to talk to HIM. I’ve not been able to get past that, which is why I’ve been silently on the rampage since then, and was desperately waiting for the appointment I thought I had today. If not for the fact that I know he is grieving, we would’ve had a knock down, drag out fight by now. Or 2 or 3.

When he initiated a conversation to tell me about handing everything over to his brother, I was responsive like I would’ve been at any other time, but beyond that, my attitude has been that if he doesn’t say anything to me, I’m not saying anything to him, unless I absolutely have to. That includes greetings and pleasantries. We don’t even call each other, or even text, during the work day, and we’ve never been like that. Not even during times when we were fussing and fighting.

I don’t feel like I should be like that with him right now, because these are extraordinary circumstances, but I can’t help how I feel about what he said last week, and how he’s bordering on being an asshole to me lately.

That is something I’d hoped might come up while he talked to his therapist about how his grief is affecting him, and what I’d hoped my therapist could give me some guidance on, regarding how to handle it, while still showing him much love and compassion, like I’d prefer to do.

I am seeing a local therapist, she does virtual appointments, but mine are in person, because I feel like that works better for me. 

When I text her today, I told her that I really needed to see her ASAP, that’s why I was asking if she had any cancellations so I could see her sooner that what her availability was showing online. She knows a little about the stuff with Mister’s Mom and that she ended up dying in February, some of what was going on with his Dad and the chaos, and that his Dad died. My last appointment with her was a few days after he died. I requested for that appointment to be virtual after I learned that I had been exposed to COVID, but I didn’t want to just cancel the appointment. So it was virtual, and I was all over the place and didn’t feel like it was a really productive session.

[countrygirl2]

Yep, its since I have stopped ozempic, its like a hunger switch has been turned on. This is not going to work. I may have to go back on the minimal douse. The PA said I can anytime, they also told me remember that it will help protect my heart.  I thought maybe I could do it, now I'm not so sure. I have read that once you are on it you are for life. 

I am drinking lots of water, so that does help, but my hypoglycemic issue makes me hungry all the time and to keep balanced, I want to eat. The ozempic did that for me by keeping my stomach fuller longer, which solved a lot of my overeating issue. 

I will work it out one way or another. I am going to keep the weight off, because I want to keep walking and I am going to do that no matter what I have to do. And what I have to do is keep the weight off my horrible feet.

I am not pleased with myself right now, but this is something I have to do myself, noone else can do it for me.

[countrygirl2]

weltz, I am not shocked at how much I have eaten the last 2 weeks, I know exactly what it is, all the stuff I did not eat for almost the last year. Big problem for me to deal with.

[countrygirl2]

On the whole though, life is ok. I've dealt with one problem or another my whole life, this too shall pass.

I'm still watching The Colony on roku, don't know how many episodes are left, I am on season 2 now, episode 2.  It's different and I'm enjoying it.

I'm trying to decide where I start tomorrow. I want to put my Halloween decorations up, also want to clean the trailer. Like hubs said doesn't have to be perfect as we are going to use it for storage, still I want it nice and clean, mopped and bathroom and kitchen cleaned. We will start packing stuff I want to keep in one end and than the other. At the same time going to start gathering items to sell or give away. Hubs is onboard. We have a problem with mice getting in there, so need to put poison in it. I don't want them in things. It's 14 X 60, should hold quite a bit of our stuff that we want to save.

It has a carport, hubs said he could stack it with things he wants to save and put a door up in the end to secure it. We hope that son is able to get the garage built by next summer. He got the utility locators out and now knows where all the utilities are. Right now he is tied up at work. His soldiers and others are worried about congress not funding and them not getting paid. He has enough saved back to be ok and if he needs our help we will. Just hope it isn't prolonged, son said a lot of soldiers and civilians will really suffer. If they don't get paid the first of the month he said many of the families and guys will be in dire straits. And he said at this point no directives or anything from above.

Hubs is going to the doc again, Thursday or for paperwork, we aren't sure exactly why. DD has an appointment at the same time. I'm moving hers so I can go. He said he will have surgery, so that is good. I told him I want him around as long as I can keep him. He said well, I can likely fill my time up there, DIL will have all kinds of projects for him and as long as son can afford them, he can do them. Son got a good chuckle out of that

Their washer just quit, $500 to repair, he said not doing that. He told us they will be using ours at our place for awhile till they decide what kind to get and get it put in. No problem with us.

We also told the realtor if someone came through and offered us $550k for the house, its sold. I'm sure noone will, well unless they are out of California or somewhere like that. But she does think we can get $495k out of it. Hummmm, I hope so, we will find out in the next year or so. We are also going to negotiate the fee paid for the sale, no 6%. Hubs said fine with him.  I must say we have been fortunate in our life so who knows? I always feel like whatever is meant to be will happen.

Well back to my show. Hope all of you have a good nights sleep and awake fresh and rearing to go tomorrow. No matter what, life is good, we are still all alive and that is good too.

[countrygirl2]

www.redfin.com/WA/Chehalis/108-Brook-Dr-98532/home/16774536?utm_source=myredfin&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=recommendations_update&riftinfo=ZXY9ZW1haWwmbD02NDkzMDcxNyZwPWxpc3RpbmdfdXBkYXRlc19yZWNvbW1lbmRhdGlvbnMmYT1jbGljayZzPXJlY29tbWVuZGF0aW9ucyZ0PWltYWdlJmVtYWlsX2lkPTY0OTMwNzE3XzE2OTU3MzM3MjdfNiZ1cGRhdGVfdHlwZT05JmxpbHJfc2NvcmU9MC4xODYzNTA5NTY1NTkxODEyJmxpc3RpbmdfaWQ9MTc1MDYwOTYyJnByb3BlcnR5X2lkPTE2Nzc0NTM2JnBvc2l0aW9uX251bWJlcj03


I hope we can find a house something like this and the price isn't bad either. The taxes are only $3800 a year so reasonable. But we will have to go further out. This is in Chealis.

[busymom]

Sept 26, 2023 23:36:07 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

www.redfin.com/WA/Chehalis/108-Brook-Dr-98532/home/16774536?utm_source=myredfin&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=recommendations_update&riftinfo=ZXY9ZW1haWwmbD02NDkzMDcxNyZwPWxpc3RpbmdfdXBkYXRlc19yZWNvbW1lbmRhdGlvbnMmYT1jbGljayZzPXJlY29tbWVuZGF0aW9ucyZ0PWltYWdlJmVtYWlsX2lkPTY0OTMwNzE3XzE2OTU3MzM3MjdfNiZ1cGRhdGVfdHlwZT05JmxpbHJfc2NvcmU9MC4xODYzNTA5NTY1NTkxODEyJmxpc3RpbmdfaWQ9MTc1MDYwOTYyJnByb3BlcnR5X2lkPTE2Nzc0NTM2JnBvc2l0aW9uX251bWJlcj03


I hope we can find a house something like this and the price isn't bad either. The taxes are only $3800 a year so reasonable. But we will have to go further out. This is in Chealis.

     Very nice!  

[bean29]

[mention]countrygirl2 [/mention] you could sell the Mile High Dolls on e-bay. My sister might buy them from you-I can ask her if you want.

I should be asleep, but have been awake all night. Haven’t slept well for several days.

Pouring rain here now. Probably will be like this all day. Don’t know what my Dogs will do.

[finnime]

Good morning, invisipeeps, soldiering on in the trenches of your lives. I hope today is a better day for everyone.


 and   for you, Pink Cashmere and NomoreDramaQ1015 and TheOtherMe and jerseygirl and all other invisipeeps contending with life.

You're doing very well by your children, giramomma. Seeing your DD1's friend in person in your home is an important step.

I'm glad your back has improved, minnesotapaintlady.

DD's move to next door went as well as it could have. Everything but a few items we can handle ourselves have been moved and set up. Cats have moved, too, with no escapes. Grab bar is installed in the bathroom. Only problem is that my key got stuck in the front door lock once I opened the door. It cannot be removed. C had told DD that the lock was wonky. I may just call a locksmith to replace all the locks and locksets as needed and key them to one key. NBD really.

It was gray and cool all day here, then the sun became visible at the last. It looked like November. I got this shot over the harbor, beyond the hurricane barrier, at sunset.

[daisylu]

Hugs, Pink Cashmere . Hope things improve for you and Mister soon.

Your home sounds very much like mine right now and it sucks. I am putting in the work that I need to do to fix it, but I refuse to do it alone.

[ners]

Morning all.  Last day of my vacation.  Did not sleep well last night.  Oh well. Drinking coffee and finishing breakfast.

[daisylu]

Paying October's bills. Ended up paying 2 late in September and accepted my stupid tax (late fees). Not letting that happen again.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Dad was able to help me with a lot of it last night.  He found all my mom's passwords and usernames he just doesn't rememebr which one is for the SS web site.  Worst case he hits "forgot password" and we start over again. 

We can't find the DD214 so I am going to have to call the VA.  I also have to call Smithfield who holds his pension and get the 2023 statement because it never got forwarded when my dad took care of her mail.  

Signed hte paperwork this morning for the Medicaid group to act as her representative.   Scanned a shit load of stuff into my email and sent it off.   The rest I will forward from my personal email when I get home.  Stupid work security blocks Gmail. 

A major roadblock may appear that I am concerned about but trying not to think about it until/unless it hits.  GU is not doing well.  The nurse reported to my dad yesterday morning that GU is in/out of consciousness  and that his fingernails are starting to turn purple.  He could go at any time or he could rally.  We don't know.

My dad met with the lawyer who handled the POA and if GU dies here soon the house goes into probate.  Which means my grandma could inherit it which could fuck everything up with Medicaid possibly.  I shot off an email to the Medicaid lady about it as I was talking to my dad about it so I wouldn't forget and could dictate it to her as he talked so no detail was forgotten.

We don't know what all happens if the closet living relative is demented and living in a nursing home and in the Medicaid process.  My dad would be the second closet living relative followed by me.

I said if he gets anything I want a cut.  So far all  I have gotten for my efforts is 20 million afghans and I found four old silver dollars in GU's dresser.   I told him an itemized bill including a line for pain and suffering will come in the mail.

DH is mad at me because my response to the news is I am extremely pissed off.   He said I should be more upset GU might not make it through the year.  I didn't dare tell him that honestly I feel relieved.  It's one nightmare down.  And I am sorry but my priority is my grandmother I am her POA if her brother fucks things thanks to his stubbornness and stupidity up I am going to rightly be PISSED.  My focus has to be on her.

Yes I will be sad he passed and it is extremely depressing to me that this is how it all went down with him.  But it's not on the level of my mother dying.  It's not even on the level of my grandmother dying.

We decided not to take grandma to visit after much deliberation.  GU isn't going to know she's there.   Dad and I are both concerned about the distress it will cause her and we are not 100% sure at this point she would understand.  As far as she knows GU died suddenly and my dad just got the news.  I am okay with that.  We both feel guilt over doing it this way but really can't see a better option.

ETA:  The crack squirrels are out of their cage again.  I'm vibrating I am so freaking overstimulated this morning.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Then not my circus not my monkeys but Bob is going for full custody.    There have been problems that I won't lay out here that show that he needs to do it.  My dad is helping him with finding a lawyer and getting things ready to go to court.

I'm willing to testify as a character witness of need be.  My brother can be a screw up and can be immature in a lot of ways but he is the more fit parent.

ETA: In the state of Iowa since he was named on the birth certificate as the father he's legally the father.  IDK if there would be a DNA test if he goes to court but the kid looks so much like him at this point I have no doubt he's Bob's.  I mean it's freaking spooky it's not a "seeing what you want to see" thing.

It's like me being contacted by a friend I haven't seen since HS who was sitting in the audience at the orchestra concert asking me if I had a kid playing cello because she looks exactly like me level spooky.

[swamp]

Sept 27, 2023 8:29:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Dad was able to help me with a lot of it last night.  He found all my mom's passwords and usernames he just doesn't rememebr which one is for the SS web site.  Worst case he hits "forgot password" and we start over again. 

We can't find the DD214 so I am going to have to call the VA.  I also have to call Smithfield who holds his pension and get the 2023 statement because it never got forwarded when my dad took care of her mail.  

Signed hte paperwork this morning for the Medicaid group to act as her representative.   Scanned a shit load of stuff into my email and sent it off.   The rest I will forward from my personal email when I get home.  Stupid work security blocks Gmail. 

A major roadblock may appear that I am concerned about but trying not to think about it until/unless it hits.  GU is not doing well.  The nurse reported to my dad yesterday morning that GU is in/out of consciousness  and that his fingernails are starting to turn purple.  He could go at any time or he could rally.  We don't know.

My dad met with the lawyer who handled the POA and if GU dies here soon the house goes into probate.  Which means my grandma could inherit it which could fuck everything up with Medicaid possibly.  I shot off an email to the Medicaid lady about it as I was talking to my dad about it so I wouldn't forget and could dictate it to her as he talked so no detail was forgotten.

We don't know what all happens if the closet living relative is demented and living in a nursing home and in the Medicaid process.  My dad would be the second closet living relative followed by me.

I said if he gets anything I want a cut.  So far all  I have gotten for my efforts is 20 million afghans and I found four old silver dollars in GU's dresser.   I told him an itemized bill including a line for pain and suffering will come in the mail.

DH is mad at me because my response to the news is I am extremely pissed off.   He said I should be more upset GU might not make it through the year.  I didn't dare tell him that honestly I feel relieved.  It's one nightmare down.  And I am sorry but my priority is my grandmother I am her POA if her brother fucks things thanks to his stubbornness and stupidity up I am going to rightly be PISSED.  My focus has to be on her.

Yes I will be sad he passed and it is extremely depressing to me that this is how it all went down with him.  But it's not on the level of my mother dying.  It's not even on the level of my grandmother dying.

We decided not to take grandma to visit after much deliberation.  GU isn't going to know she's there.   Dad and I are both concerned about the distress it will cause her and we are not 100% sure at this point she would understand.  As far as she knows GU died suddenly and my dad just got the news.  I am okay with that.  We both feel guilt over doing it this way but really can't see a better option.

ETA:  The crack squirrels are out of their cage again.  I'm vibrating I am so freaking overstimulated this morning.

does the POA allow you to do estate planning? 

You can renounce an inheritance on her behalf by POA in  NY.  Check with a lawyer there.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 27, 2023 8:38:19 GMT -5 swamp said:

Sept 27, 2023 8:29:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Dad was able to help me with a lot of it last night.  He found all my mom's passwords and usernames he just doesn't rememebr which one is for the SS web site.  Worst case he hits "forgot password" and we start over again. 

We can't find the DD214 so I am going to have to call the VA.  I also have to call Smithfield who holds his pension and get the 2023 statement because it never got forwarded when my dad took care of her mail.  

Signed hte paperwork this morning for the Medicaid group to act as her representative.   Scanned a shit load of stuff into my email and sent it off.   The rest I will forward from my personal email when I get home.  Stupid work security blocks Gmail. 

A major roadblock may appear that I am concerned about but trying not to think about it until/unless it hits.  GU is not doing well.  The nurse reported to my dad yesterday morning that GU is in/out of consciousness  and that his fingernails are starting to turn purple.  He could go at any time or he could rally.  We don't know.

My dad met with the lawyer who handled the POA and if GU dies here soon the house goes into probate.  Which means my grandma could inherit it which could fuck everything up with Medicaid possibly.  I shot off an email to the Medicaid lady about it as I was talking to my dad about it so I wouldn't forget and could dictate it to her as he talked so no detail was forgotten.

We don't know what all happens if the closet living relative is demented and living in a nursing home and in the Medicaid process.  My dad would be the second closet living relative followed by me.

I said if he gets anything I want a cut.  So far all  I have gotten for my efforts is 20 million afghans and I found four old silver dollars in GU's dresser.   I told him an itemized bill including a line for pain and suffering will come in the mail.

DH is mad at me because my response to the news is I am extremely pissed off.   He said I should be more upset GU might not make it through the year.  I didn't dare tell him that honestly I feel relieved.  It's one nightmare down.  And I am sorry but my priority is my grandmother I am her POA if her brother fucks things thanks to his stubbornness and stupidity up I am going to rightly be PISSED.  My focus has to be on her.

Yes I will be sad he passed and it is extremely depressing to me that this is how it all went down with him.  But it's not on the level of my mother dying.  It's not even on the level of my grandmother dying.

We decided not to take grandma to visit after much deliberation.  GU isn't going to know she's there.   Dad and I are both concerned about the distress it will cause her and we are not 100% sure at this point she would understand.  As far as she knows GU died suddenly and my dad just got the news.  I am okay with that.  We both feel guilt over doing it this way but really can't see a better option.

ETA:  The crack squirrels are out of their cage again.  I'm vibrating I am so freaking overstimulated this morning.

does the POA allow you to do estate planning? 

You can renounce an inheritance on her behalf by POA in  NY.  Check with a lawyer there.

I'll have to look and I know someone I can check with.  That would make life easier.

Of course that is the one freaking piece of paperwork I don't have with me today I put the damn thing back in the safe.  Calling Smithfield will have to wait till tomorrow because I'm sure they'll want a copy before they hand me over anything.

[daisylu]

1 on 1 with manager in 15 minutes, which I am not looking forward to. We do this at least every other week so nothing unusual, but he rejected my expense report for the nail in the tire being listed as "damage" by the rental company. Yes, the tire was damaged and replaced. I included the email from the rental company and the invoice that showed it was specifically for tire replacement. 

I think he is getting overwhelmed.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Looks like my dryer went totally kaput.  TD called a repair place and to get someone in just to see what’s wrong is about 1/3 the cost of a new dryer.  This one is 20 years old.  

I found one on Costco, and ordering it yesterday could get it in and installed on the 29th.  Repair guy is scheduled for the 4th.  Tossing it into TD’s lap as to what to do.  At least my neighbor is willing to let us use her dryer in the meantime.  

Speaking of which, she canceled our lunch yesterday.  She has a pretty bad UTI, and had a call in to her doctor.  I wound up going into town for her last night to pick up her prescriptions because she’s afraid to get more than a few feet from a bathroom!  Also, I wanted her to get those meds in her ASAP.  My MIL was hospitalized with a UTI, and apparently in elderly they can get real ugly, real fast.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 27, 2023 9:40:49 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Looks like my dryer went totally kaput.  TD called a repair place and to get someone in just to see what’s wrong is about 1/3 the cost of a new dryer.  This one is 20 years old.  

I found one on Costco, and ordering it yesterday could get it in and installed on the 29th.  Repair guy is scheduled for the 4th.  Tossing it into TD’s lap as to what to do.  At least my neighbor is willing to let us use her dryer in the meantime.  

Speaking of which, she canceled our lunch yesterday.  She has a pretty bad UTI, and had a call in to her doctor.  I wound up going into town for her last night to pick up her prescriptions because she’s afraid to get more than a few feet from a bathroom!  Also, I wanted her to get those meds in her ASAP.  My MIL was hospitalized with a UTI, and apparently in elderly they can get real ugly, real fast.

If she didn't already have some pick her up some AZO.  It really helped cut down on the contractions and made it less scary to go to the bathroom while I was waiting for the anti-biotics to do their work.  Do warn her it turns her pee neon orange and it stains EVERYTHING.  So wear underwear she doesn't care about.

[raeoflyte]

Sept 27, 2023 9:40:49 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Looks like my dryer went totally kaput.  TD called a repair place and to get someone in just to see what’s wrong is about 1/3 the cost of a new dryer.  This one is 20 years old.  

I found one on Costco, and ordering it yesterday could get it in and installed on the 29th.  Repair guy is scheduled for the 4th.  Tossing it into TD’s lap as to what to do.  At least my neighbor is willing to let us use her dryer in the meantime.  

Speaking of which, she canceled our lunch yesterday.  She has a pretty bad UTI, and had a call in to her doctor.  I wound up going into town for her last night to pick up her prescriptions because she’s afraid to get more than a few feet from a bathroom!  Also, I wanted her to get those meds in her ASAP.  My MIL was hospitalized with a UTI, and apparently in elderly they can get real ugly, real fast.

That could just be the prices but if you could find a more reasonable repair person we've had our old appliances repaired for $100 a handful of times and they last so much longer than the ones we end up replacing.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Sept 27, 2023 9:46:08 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 27, 2023 9:40:49 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Looks like my dryer went totally kaput.  TD called a repair place and to get someone in just to see what’s wrong is about 1/3 the cost of a new dryer.  This one is 20 years old.  

I found one on Costco, and ordering it yesterday could get it in and installed on the 29th.  Repair guy is scheduled for the 4th.  Tossing it into TD’s lap as to what to do.  At least my neighbor is willing to let us use her dryer in the meantime.  

Speaking of which, she canceled our lunch yesterday.  She has a pretty bad UTI, and had a call in to her doctor.  I wound up going into town for her last night to pick up her prescriptions because she’s afraid to get more than a few feet from a bathroom!  Also, I wanted her to get those meds in her ASAP.  My MIL was hospitalized with a UTI, and apparently in elderly they can get real ugly, real fast.

If she didn't already have some pick her up some AZO.  It really helped cut down on the contractions and made it less scary to go to the bathroom while I was waiting for the anti-biotics to do their work.  Do warn her it turns her pee neon orange and it stains EVERYTHING.  So wear underwear she doesn't care about.

She has it, actually the doctor prescribed it for her along with the antibiotics.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was available OTC.  

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Sept 27, 2023 10:18:54 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Sept 27, 2023 9:40:49 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Looks like my dryer went totally kaput.  TD called a repair place and to get someone in just to see what’s wrong is about 1/3 the cost of a new dryer.  This one is 20 years old.  

I found one on Costco, and ordering it yesterday could get it in and installed on the 29th.  Repair guy is scheduled for the 4th.  Tossing it into TD’s lap as to what to do.  At least my neighbor is willing to let us use her dryer in the meantime.  

Speaking of which, she canceled our lunch yesterday.  She has a pretty bad UTI, and had a call in to her doctor.  I wound up going into town for her last night to pick up her prescriptions because she’s afraid to get more than a few feet from a bathroom!  Also, I wanted her to get those meds in her ASAP.  My MIL was hospitalized with a UTI, and apparently in elderly they can get real ugly, real fast.

That could just be the prices but if you could find a more reasonable repair person we've had our old appliances repaired for $100 a handful of times and they last so much longer than the ones we end up replacing.

Sadly, the price is this area.  We pay far more for stuff like this than the rest of the US.  It’ll be $180 for someone to just see what’s wrong, plus $120/hour plus parts.  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Well refusing to accept the money is out.  DHS will not allow me to turn down an inheritance which I kinda figured.  They aren't going to allow money to escape.

But it will probably take a year or longer for probate to settle the Medicaid lady said we can worry about that then.

The fastest route would be get GU to sign a will giving it to dad and/or myself.   If he can verbally consent and scribble on a page that is good enough.  I can be a witness and so can my dad.  That would solve the entire problem.  GU can name whoever he wants the state cannot force him to give it to grandma.

But if there is no will that lives her as his direct living descendant.  Unless GU has a love child we don't know about but that tends to only happen in soap operas.