what are you doing right now?

[anciana]

Sept 18, 2023 19:31:59 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

I can support the need to cull deer while being totally unwilling to pull the trigger, figuratively or literally.

There’s a great video on what happened when they released wolves back into Yellowstone (I think, could’ve been Yosemite).  It boils down too, the wolves ate a bunch of the deer and it unf*cked the whole ecosystem.

I’ve seen that here:Reddit link

It looks pretty amazing, don’t know what the situation is nowadays but I do know there were ranchers upset about some of the consequences that followed.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 18, 2023 19:29:51 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Neighbor is trying to get me to be weekly daycare for her dog.  I don’t really want the responsibility and am ducking/being noncommittal while feeling guilty.

I am getting better and better at saying no to things I do not want to do. I am not so good at it yet, that I don’t feel a twinge of guilt or something about it though.


I’ve learned that sometimes the dread of doing a thing, is much worse than actually doing it. That includes wrestling with saying no to something you’d really rather not do.

As I get older, I get more ornery about feeling like I don’t even need to explain why I said no. I said what I said, when i just said NO. Especially because explaining opens the door for folks to try to persuade me into thinking that my NO isn’t enough on its own, without a reason they consider “good enough” or try to argue with me. And I don’t need a reason to not want to do something just because somebody wants me to do it….. for their own reasons….. like to make their life easier, more comfortable, or less complicated, while it gives me more shit to do and complicates my own life, other than I DON’T FUCKING WANT TO DO IT. That’s the only reason I need. I am doing much better with that, but I still have room for improvement.

So, let’s learn together.

Say no, and hit me up if/when you feel bad about it, and I’ll talk you through it.

[anciana]

Sept 17, 2023 19:13:49 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Sept 16, 2023 12:56:08 GMT -5 anciana said:

It is so frustrating, isn’t it? Some very smart and capable people can’t replicate that it in everyday situations, home front especially. You would think it’s the best place to use their magic powers but somehow it just doesn’t work. I don’t know the answer but I want to let you know I sympathize with you. Would your sister be available to help out while you’re recovering from the surgery? Hang in there 🤗

The funny part is dh will be awesome post surgery especially with all the prep work done. Not that I'll need critical care support, but that is where he thrives and he'll wait on me as if I do need that kind of assistance.

To be fair to him, he made a bigger dent in the bedroom than I thought possible. I can walk on his side of the bed which makes things exponentially easier.

But dsis will come over the first day dh goes back to work, and my folks are amazing. My village is larger than most.

I'm very grateful.

It is wonderful to have a village, and such a caring and capable one. I’m sure it makes it easier to relax afterwards and focus on recovering. Take care 🤗

[NastyWoman]

Sept 18, 2023 19:31:59 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

I can support the need to cull deer while being totally unwilling to pull the trigger, figuratively or literally.

There’s a great video on what happened when they released wolves back into Yellowstone (I think, could’ve been Yosemite).  It boils down to, the wolves ate a bunch of the deer and it unf*cked the whole ecosystem.

Must have been Yellowstone. I know they did it there and (I just looked it up) never reintroduced wolves in California though one or two stray s made it here from Oregon.

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 18, 2023 18:02:51 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 18, 2023 16:12:27 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Same weltz and I don't want to know

My kid and my cousin insist that I need to learn how to use a gun. Um, you've known me forever. I lack the temperament of someone that should own a firearm. I also drink too much to be allowed to have one. No thank you.

My reason is I know if there was a gun in my home, with the depression I have, I would have shot and killed myself many years ago.  

I will not have a gun in my home.  

[bookkeeper]

Sept 18, 2023 18:37:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Toying with going to South Dakota next year.

It is potentially cheaper than Colorado and DH can relive his childhood vacation for a change.

Sent off for visitors guides and now we wait.

Planning is one of the most exciting parts for me. I love research.

I grew up in SD and have lived most of my life here.  I would be happy to give you some local insight to all the fun along I-90 and the Black Hills.

It's not too early to make some motel reservations for next summer, depending on where you would like to be.  Please avoid the last week in July and the first two weeks of August.  The Sturgis Motorcycle Rally really fills up all the tourist venues.  Many short term rentals are available as an alternative to motel rooms as well as campground cabins.

What are you interested in?  Native American culture, hiking, geology, biking, 4 wheeling, buffalo, wild donkeys, rodeo -- we got it all!

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 18, 2023 18:35:13 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 18, 2023 16:12:27 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Same weltz and I don't want to know

You don't know how to get a gun in Iowa? They're probably sold in every farm supply, pawn shop and Walmart.

Not looking or buying.  If I did, the next time I get a bad depressive episode, I'm out of here.

[Pink Cashmere]

Mister has still been weird all day today, so I am still just staying out of his way. I am not trying to get him to talk or anything, just checking in and asking if he needs me or anything I can do.

Usually when he is weird like this, I eventually get an attitude after giving him what *I* feel (lol) is “enough” space, for long enough. But I feel like these are extraordinary circumstances, because I can’t even imagine what it must feel like with everything he’s dealt with and been through. DS started reminding me last week that Mister also lost his beloved dog, OG, last year, so his grieving started even before shit started happening with his parents. I am glad DS reminded me of that, because it’s true, Mister was very hurt when OG died, and grieved in a way that people that aren’t cat and dog lovers might not understand. But as much as he loved OG, I’m sure the pain of losing her doesn’t come close to the pain of losing both of his parents, it’s just that everything happened in such a short amount of time. 

I feel helpless because it’s in my nature to try to make everything better for the people I love, but I can’t make this better for Mister. All I can do is be there as much as he will let me, while he goes through it. I don’t know anything else I can do, besides let him deal with things the way he feels he needs to. It just hurts my heart so much to see him in pain, even though I fully understand why he is in that place.

Please, keep, praying for him.

[countrygirl2]

ohhh, my arm is hurting where I got the flu shot, even hubs said his is but he had 2.

I am in disbelief, the dentist charged me a whole $90 for my dental cleaning, and he did the best I've ever had. And he did a big filling for DD today, spent at least and hour and a half, she was giggling and going on back there. I went back, he gave her a stuffed animal to hold and I asked her if it was hurting, she said nope. AND he charged me $90 for a FILLING! We have spent hundreds on a filling, just wow. But he is older and I think likely could retire. But he is slow must have been an hour and a half. And he talks the whole time he is working. I told hubs be prepared to be in there for quite awhile when he gets his checked than cleaned.
Next is cleaning for DD. I will take a book.  He is an oddity, no TV or piped in music, but stacks of magazines and even a book case with some books in it, like wow!

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 18, 2023 18:37:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Toying with going to South Dakota next year.

It is potentially cheaper than Colorado and DH can relive his childhood vacation for a change.

Sent off for visitors guides and now we wait.

Planning is one of the most exciting parts for me. I love research.

Have to tell you about my childhood vacation to the Black Hills and Mount Rushmore.

Two lane roads in the 1960's.  No cell phones.  No a/c in cars.  We stopped for gas.  Since 3 of us went to the ladies restroom, it took a while.  Dad and mom had to have a smoke.  

Gas station had a covered wagon so I wondered off to the covered wagon and was having fun.

The car left without me.  Sister in the backseat didn't bother to tell mom and dad I wasn't there.  Mom eventually asked a question of me and I didn't answer.  Sister then said I hadn't been there since the gas station.

So frantic trip back to the gas station.

Looking back, I feel for the gas station attendant who had a crying 8 or 9 year old wondering if she would ever see her family again.  He fed me so much candy that I got sick.  

I remind myself that she was willing to leave me in South Dakota when she pulls some of the crap she does today.

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 18, 2023 19:44:43 GMT -5 msventoux said:

Sept 18, 2023 16:12:27 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Same weltz and I don't want to know

If you grew up in my area you might have just been gifted a semiautomatic assault rifle as a sweet 16th birthday present from your parents. Just what every 16 year old girl wants. 

What an awful Sweet Sixteen present.

My parents would not have done that because I had been suicidal by age 16.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 18, 2023 18:37:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Toying with going to South Dakota next year.

It is potentially cheaper than Colorado and DH can relive his childhood vacation for a change.

Sent off for visitors guides and now we wait.

Planning is one of the most exciting parts for me. I love research.

My kids both love the Black Hills. Every road trip no matter what cool place we're coming from they want me to hit the black hills on the way home. I think they've hiked the trail by Sylvan Lake 5 or 6 different years now.

[toomuchreality]

Sept 18, 2023 20:17:33 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

ohhh, my arm is hurting where I got the flu shot, even hubs said his is but he had 2.

I am in disbelief, the dentist charged me a whole $90 for my dental cleaning, and he did the best I've ever had. And he did a big filling for DD today, spent at least and hour and a half, she was giggling and going on back there. I went back, he gave her a stuffed animal to hold and I asked her if it was hurting, she said nope. AND he charged me $90 for a FILLING! We have spent hundreds on a filling, just wow. But he is older and I think likely could retire. But he is slow must have been an hour and a half. And he talks the whole time he is working. I told hubs be prepared to be in there for quite awhile when he gets his checked than cleaned.
Next is cleaning for DD. I will take a book.  He is an oddity, no TV or piped in music, but stacks of magazines and even a book case with some books in it, like wow!

My arm really hurt this year, when I got my flu shot. Worse than any other shot, I remember, as an adult. I hope yours feels better soon.

[Pink Cashmere]

Mister has been blasting music since before I wrote the last post. He has a serious sound system, and normally, he only blasts music on it when we are hanging out together. But I am outside and can hear it, and he is playing melancholy music. 

He and his Dad shared a love for music, and it’s because his Dad was a musician and encouraged Mister to learn to play drums, that Mister has the talent he has.

And now he has changed the music while I was typing this, and is playing gospel. That’s what he and his Dad played together in churches, gospel music. 

I am so sad right now.

ETA: Even when music inside the house is loud enough that stuff vibrates in every room, or when the outdoor speakers are playing loud, our neighbors can’t hear it. I’ve walked around our property outside with the outdoor speakers blasting louder than we ever actually play them, to make sure. So no matter how loud the music gets, it won’t disturb our neighbors. 

[toomuchreality]

Sept 18, 2023 20:45:15 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Mister has been blasting music since before I wrote the last post. He has a serious sound system, and normally, he only blasts music on it when we are hanging out together. But I am outside and can hear it, and he is playing melancholy music. 

He and his Dad shared a love for music, and it’s because his Dad was a musician and encouraged Mister to learn to play drums, that Mister has the talent he has.

And now he has changed the music while I was typing this, and is playing gospel. That’s what he and his Dad played together in churches, gospel music. 

I am so sad right now.

Hugs for you both. ♡
That's a sad place to be in. Too much reality. 🥀

[busymom]

A neighboring state, which shall remain unnamed, has a problem with too many deer.  And, to add to the problem, several years back they decided that each county is responsible for cleaning up the mess from all of the car/deer crashes on the roads.  Which means every time I drive through their state, there are dead deer laying on or next to the road, some who have been there for so long that the stomachs are bloated.  One time I even saw a coyote feasting on a dead deer during daylight hours, which is very unusual, because coyotes normally hunt at night, or at least they do in our state.  

I don't have the stomach to pull the trigger on a deer.  But, when there are so many that they become as plentiful as rabbits, they do need to be culled.  It's a safety issue. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 18, 2023 20:13:38 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Sept 18, 2023 18:35:13 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

You don't know how to get a gun in Iowa? They're probably sold in every farm supply, pawn shop and Walmart.

Not looking or buying.  If I did, the next time I get a bad depressive episode, I'm out of here.

Please keep doing what you’re doing in that regard then. I need you to stay with us for as long as possible.

[countrygirl2]

I'm reading through the Medicare 2024 booklet I received today. So far I don't see anything about part B premiums increasing, but am going to research on here. However, its now spend $8000 instead of $7400 to get into catastrophic coverage. Dang~~~~~~


Wrong just read they are going to $174.90 from $164.80 nearly $10, there goes any increase I might get for COL again. Pretty soon they will get the whole check for premiums. Giveth and taketh away. And I'm sure my supplement and drug premiums will go up too. Think the COL increase will only be about 3%.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 18, 2023 20:49:52 GMT -5 busymom said:

A neighboring state, which shall remain unnamed, has a problem with too many deer.  And, to add to the problem, several years back they decided that each county is responsible for cleaning up the mess from all of the car/deer crashes on the roads.  Which means every time I drive through their state, there are dead deer laying on or next to the road, some who have been there for so long that the stomachs are bloated.  One time I even saw a coyote feasting on a dead deer during daylight hours, which is very unusual, because coyotes normally hunt at night, or at least they do in our state.  

I don't have the stomach to pull the trigger on a deer.  But, when there are so many that they become as plentiful as rabbits, they do need to be culled.  It's a safety issue. 

Nobody cleans them up around here. Within a few days, a week at the most, the coyotes, bald eagles and turkey vultures have completely taken care of it.

[Peace77]

Sept 18, 2023 18:37:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Toying with going to South Dakota next year.

It is potentially cheaper than Colorado and DH can relive his childhood vacation for a change.

Sent off for visitors guides and now we wait.

Planning is one of the most exciting parts for me. I love research.

Be sure to stop at Wall Drug store in Wall, SD.  Probably one of the largest drugstores in the USA.  Most interesting after Mt. Rushmore.

[weltz]

Sept 18, 2023 19:31:59 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

I can support the need to cull deer while being totally unwilling to pull the trigger, figuratively or literally.

There’s a great video on what happened when they released wolves back into Yellowstone (I think, could’ve been Yosemite).  It boils down to, the wolves ate a bunch of the deer and it unf*cked the whole ecosystem.

[weltz]

If you grew up in my area you might have just been gifted a semiautomatic assault rifle as a sweet 16th birthday present from your parents. Just what every 16 year old girl wants.

Doubtful. Neither of my parents could even hurt the gophers which were chewing up my mother's vegetable garden.

[andi9899]

Sept 18, 2023 20:11:02 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Sept 18, 2023 18:02:51 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

My kid and my cousin insist that I need to learn how to use a gun. Um, you've known me forever. I lack the temperament of someone that should own a firearm. I also drink too much to be allowed to have one. No thank you.

My reason is I know if there was a gun in my home, with the depression I have, I would have shot and killed myself many years ago.  

I will not have a gun in my home.  

I'm sorry you feel that way. I wish I could help. Hugs.

[Pink Cashmere]

On another random note, I love this picture Mister took of Boy a couple days ago. He looks like such a big boy, and not at all like the pest that he is in real life lol. He is a real PITA, and works my nerves on a regular basis, but he is also so loving and lovable at the same time, despite being a PITA, that I can’t imagine life without him. 

Mister loves Newbie, but he and Boy have a very special bond. We got Boy when he was 6 weeks old, right before Mister’s Mom went in the hospital last August, and Boy has been a real source of comfort for Mister since then. Boy LOVES him some Mister, and Mister loves him right back, just as much.



But Mister does acknowledge that Boy IS a pest. LOL!

[TheOtherMe]

I have had major chronic depression since I was in 5th grade.  I have spent a ton of money on therapy.  

I have learned enough to know that I can have a weapon in this house.  My therapist trusts that I don't have one.  

I no longer have suicidal thoughts unless I don't take my medication.  I hope I have learned that lesson, but I have stopped twice.

Last time, I called her office and they talked me down and got me  re-started on the meds.  That's much better than leaving this earth.  I'm not ready.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 18, 2023 22:21:24 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I have had major chronic depression since I was in 5th grade.  I have spent a ton of money on therapy.  

I have learned enough to know that I can have a weapon in this house.  My therapist trusts that I don't have one.  

I no longer have suicidal thoughts unless I don't take my medication.  I hope I have learned that lesson, but I have stopped twice.

Last time, I called her office and they talked me down and got me  re-started on the meds.  That's much better than leaving this earth.  I'm not ready.

I have experienced clinical depression, but not with suicidal thoughts. I’m not saying that last part like I’m somehow “better” or whatever, than you, I’m just saying that part hasn’t happened to me, but I do understand what a beast depression can be. 

I am grateful that you found someone that understood and could help you, I am grateful for your therapist, and I am grateful that you know yourself well enough to know how to try to keep yourself safe…. because I am grateful for having the chance to get to know you. You matter, your life matters…. to me, when I’ve never even met you IRL.

[toomuchreality]

Sept 18, 2023 22:50:00 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 18, 2023 22:21:24 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I have had major chronic depression since I was in 5th grade.  I have spent a ton of money on therapy.  

I have learned enough to know that I can have a weapon in this house.  My therapist trusts that I don't have one.  

I no longer have suicidal thoughts unless I don't take my medication.  I hope I have learned that lesson, but I have stopped twice.

Last time, I called her office and they talked me down and got me  re-started on the meds.  That's much better than leaving this earth.  I'm not ready.

I have experienced clinical depression, but not with suicidal thoughts. I’m not saying that last part like I’m somehow “better” or whatever, than you, I’m just saying that part hasn’t happened to me, but I do understand what a beast depression can be. 

I am grateful that you found someone that understood and could help you, I am grateful for your therapist, and I am grateful that you know yourself well enough to know how to try to keep yourself safe…. because I am grateful for having the chance to get to know you. You matter, your life matters…. to me, when I’ve never even met you IRL.

Yeah, that! ^^^ 💕

[Pink Cashmere]

It is wayyy past my bedtime, but I guess that’s okay since I don’t have to work tomorrow. 

Mister ended his music blasting by coming outside with the dogs, where me and DS were, but leaving the door open so we could all hear the music he was playing. 

He went to bed about an hour ago, but still wasn’t sleep the last time I wandered through our bedroom. 

He’s kept trying to go back to work, even a few days after his Dad died, but his bosses weren’t having it. So they kept battling, and it was maybe he would go back today. But yesterday Mister said no, he wasn’t ready. Tonight he said he might not be ready tomorrow. 

His bosses know he has a strong work ethic, and he is a good employee and very good at what he does, so I’m pretty sure he can take as much time off as he needs to. He has enough leave to be off work for a few months, because he doesn’t use his leave, and if he stayed off work for months, it would be because he was so fucked up that he couldn’t even carry his head in his hands to go to work.

He doesn’t miss work, even if he is truly sick, or whatever. He doesn’t even know how to take a vacation right…. if he has a week of vacation scheduled, he’s not likely to even take the whole week. Which I don’t understand, but that’s just him. And because he is the kind of employee that he is, if he says he needs time off work, his bosses know he must REALLY need that time. Because that happens, like never. So if he doesn’t feel like he can work tomorrow, it’s probably in everyone’s best interest to just let him have that time to try to tend to himself.

And if it’s a problem, his mentor is in a higher position than Mister is, and will go to bat for him, because he knows Mister doesn’t play about his job.

[finnime]

Good morning, invisible fonts of strength sustaining Y Ma'am as you balance your lives. Welcome to Tuesday. I hope your day puts another rock in your foundation to you will be even steadier in the face of any troubles to come. And I hope your current and future troubles are all little ones.

Tuesday strikes me as an earnest day of the week, when work gets done.

Add me to the list of people who do not and will not have arms in my home. As a girl I have used in target practice a shotgun and a rifle that were my father's. So I know what it feels like. I went on a 3-day hunting trip once with my father and brothers that was a lovely walk in the deep woods of western Massachusetts. I think my brothers shot down mistletoe.

I wouldn't have guns even if I did not wrestle with major depressive disorder. There's too much likelihood for misuse.

I'm very glad you're here, too, TheOtherMe.

I'm glad, Pink Cashmere , that Mister has an outlet in music, and that he's taking time off to begin to absorb his losses. And that you are there with him.

It rained all day yesterday. We wound up taking Franklin the Dog along with us as we ran errands. I did have this picture I shot a few days ago in early dawn of a Great Blue heron addressing her acolytes, the herring gulls, on the jetty submerging in the rising tide.

[andi9899]

Sept 18, 2023 21:11:45 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 18, 2023 20:49:52 GMT -5 busymom said:

A neighboring state, which shall remain unnamed, has a problem with too many deer.  And, to add to the problem, several years back they decided that each county is responsible for cleaning up the mess from all of the car/deer crashes on the roads.  Which means every time I drive through their state, there are dead deer laying on or next to the road, some who have been there for so long that the stomachs are bloated.  One time I even saw a coyote feasting on a dead deer during daylight hours, which is very unusual, because coyotes normally hunt at night, or at least they do in our state.  

I don't have the stomach to pull the trigger on a deer.  But, when there are so many that they become as plentiful as rabbits, they do need to be culled.  It's a safety issue. 

Nobody cleans them up around here. Within a few days, a week at the most, the coyotes, bald eagles and turkey vultures have completely taken care of it.

Bit what about the bones? Do those get picked up?