what are you doing right now?

[countrygirl2]

This is the first visit with hubs. He had gone to other appointments while I was gone and didn't say anything. He said why worry me when I was enjoying myself.  So I'm sure I have missed things.

Anyway his score is 7, they said moderate. But all 8 of the biopsy samples came back cancerous so is in the whole prostrate the PA said. He now has a bone scan for Oct 13th. That one worries me. They gave us a booklet but most does not apply to him.

The options given to him were removal or radiation. 

That is all that I know at this point.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 15, 2023 18:45:21 GMT -5 weltz said:

Sept 15, 2023 18:18:27 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

So now Mister is angry with me. Somebody used the last of the onion powder and left the empty container on the kitchen counter. I need onion powder for what I’m supposed to do tonight. He asked if I wanted to run to the store for him. Not really. And he got mad. 

Meanwhile, I’ve been cleaning the house and the kitchen, preparing for him to have everything clean that he will need to cook and for guests. He has been working in the yard today, after picking up a grocery order this morning that me made, that left a lot of stuff off.

And we have a whole grown person laid up in the house that has not been tasked with or asked to do anything, at all, as usual. Notice that I said in my prior post that OD and her Mom handled the obituary. I don’t know what it is about YD that nobody ever expects or requires her to do anything. 

If not for DS taking it upon himself to clean the carpet in the living room last week, I would have had to do that today too. He doesn’t even live here, but he does random things to help out when he comes over, even DD and my Grandbabies help when they come over, with things like sweeping or taking the trash out. Why is it that they do more when they visit, than somebody that lives here and has their own private space, a bedroom that no one uses whether or not she is here?

Maybe I would’ve felt like going to the store if I hadn’t been busy all day doing other stuff to try to prepare for tomorrow, in between running to the bathroom and dealing with my unruly ass stomach. Or maybe I’m just a bitch.

This was not my idea, and Mister decided just yesterday, to do it. He did not consult with me about the grocery order he made, and it’s not my fault that he missed a lot of stuff. Maybe I’m wrong, and being like the rest of his family when I said not really, when he asked if I wanted to run to the store. I had just finished cleaning the kitchen so he could start cooking, including wiping down cabinets and nooks and crannies, and cleaning microwaves, and making the kitchen spotless overall, in preparation for his guests, so they wouldn’t think the food we offer them was questionable, because our kitchen isn’t super clean. It’s a known fact  anyway, that I hate having to jump up and run to the store for ANYTHING, on short notice. 

So now he’s mad at me, and I am tempted to say fuck preparing that shoulder he wants smoked, fuck everything else that needs to be done around the house, and fuck his guests. I don’t feel good anyway, I can just take my ass to bed, and since I’ve not eaten anything today, just focus on hoping my stomach stops acting a fool and hurting sometime tonight. Like ASAP, please and thank you.

Not a problem. Tell him to rub a cut onion on the haram pork shoulder.

I had to “look up” what haram means. 

Mister is home from the store and he is BIG MAD. 

I know he’s dealing with a lot of shit, and I feel like in normal circumstances he might be irritated, but still not so angry, like he is now. Today, I feel like it’s probably not even really me that he’s so angry with, so I really don’t want to fight with him. I will try to prepare the shoulder for him, but if he acts an ass, I will remove myself, leave him to it, and just tend to myself and take my ass to bed.

[NastyWoman]

Sept 15, 2023 18:43:42 GMT -5 weltz said:

Sept 15, 2023 18:36:43 GMT -5 busymom said:

    Our state has been very welcoming to immigrants from Muslim countries.  However, they're moving out of the city towards our community, and we've got at least 4 Muslim families now living within a city block of me.  The women are very nice, but I'm not going to comment on the males, 'cause that'll get me in trouble...      We are getting more Muslim businesses nearby too, including the recent opening of a Halal grocery store.  It DOES feel like they're taking over.  They may not want to join us for a meal, as we do tend to eat stuff like bacon & pulled pork.  

I did speak to a Muslim male who said all dogs should be eliminated from my neighbourhood...they're haram.
Dream on, asshole!  

(It will happen. Just not yet.)

You are running a bit behind. It is at least 15 years ago that we had a big ruckus in a town just south of where I am from. A Muslim father came to the elementary school his 4th grade son attended and demanded that his teacher cover up as "required" (it is NOT in the Koran hence the quotation marks) or else son needed to be moved to a class with a male teacher. There was no 4th grade male teacher so father sued. Fortunately he lost in court. 
I don't know what the family ended up doing but at least, for the time being, that nonsense was nipped in the bud and until today no one has tried this again though there are far more male elementary school teachers today so who knows what would happen if one is available...

[busymom]

Sept 15, 2023 18:43:42 GMT -5 weltz said:

Sept 15, 2023 18:36:43 GMT -5 busymom said:

    Our state has been very welcoming to immigrants from Muslim countries.  However, they're moving out of the city towards our community, and we've got at least 4 Muslim families now living within a city block of me.  The women are very nice, but I'm not going to comment on the males, 'cause that'll get me in trouble...      We are getting more Muslim businesses nearby too, including the recent opening of a Halal grocery store.  It DOES feel like they're taking over.  They may not want to join us for a meal, as we do tend to eat stuff like bacon & pulled pork.  

I did speak to a Muslim male who said all dogs should be eliminated from my neighbourhood...they're haram.
Dream on, asshole!  

(It will happen. Just not yet.)

    LOL!  At my house, our dogs aren't just companionship, they're security.  Maybe I can reclassify them?  

[Pink Cashmere]

Mister’s friend D is Muslim. But he is a Black Muslim, which I think is a bit different from Muslims from other parts of the world. I feel like I am showing some ignorance by saying that, but with the little knowledge I have, I think it’s true.

Anyway, D was not in town when Mister’s Mom was laid to rest because he was in another part of the country providing service for his brethren. He is out of town now, helping tend to the acres of farmland that they have in another state. 

I knew D years before I even met Mister, and we use to talk about his faith and his beliefs, just because I was curious. I think that the Black Muslims in the US follow Louis Farrakhan’s teachings. Dr. Farrakhan is seen as controversial by many people, but the times I’ve listened to him speak, he was encouraging Black people to own their power and take care of themselves, their families, and their communities. I didn’t have a problem with what I heard. Maybe he’s said some more controversial stuff at other times besides the (admittedly few) times I’ve listened to him, but I haven’t heard any of it with my own ears.

I’ve had a close friend that was a Jehovah’s Witness, and I was curious and had conversations about their beliefs too. 

Whatever my own personal beliefs are, I enjoy having conversations with people whose religion is different from mine, as long as we can have a respectful conversation despite our differences.

What I’ve learned from talking to people of different faiths, is that when you subtract all the nonsense, the bottom line for most major religions, before the extremist kind of shit, is…. Try to be a good, loving person, and take care of your responsibilities.

[weltz]

Sept 15, 2023 19:01:33 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Sept 15, 2023 18:43:42 GMT -5 weltz said:

I did speak to a Muslim male who said all dogs should be eliminated from my neighbourhood...they're haram.
Dream on, asshole!  

(It will happen. Just not yet.)

You are running a bit behind. It is at least 15 years ago that we had a big ruckus in a town just south of where I am from. A Muslim father came to the elementary school his 4th grade son attended and demanded that his teacher cover up as "required" (it is NOT in the Koran hence the quotation marks) or else son needed to be moved to a class with a male teacher. There was no 4th grade male teacher so father sued. Fortunately he lost in court. 
I don't know what the family ended up doing but at least, for the time being, that nonsense was nipped in the bud and until today no one has tried this again though there are far more male elementary school teachers today so who knows what would happen if one is available...

We had s patient from Afghanistan. The husband demanded that she have no male caregivers, nurses, doctors, porters, speech therapists, occupational  therapists, aides, etc. All had to be female. We did our best to accommodate them, although it was difficult.   One day, she took a turn for the worse, and the doctor on call was a male.
The husband absolutely refused to have him see her. "Better she should die, than be examined by a male doctor."
Can you imagine?

[finnime]

countrygirl2, sorry your DH's test results were not better. THe good news for him is that there are treatment options with a real likelihood of good outcomes. giramomma's experience speaks loudly here.

[finnime]

Pink Cashmere, you and Mister must give yourselves and each other grace and wide berth right now. Nice as it would be, he's not going to get YD moving and doing her share today or tonight. IMNSHO it should be in the plan, though. For right now and tomorrow, it's eyes forward and head down, working on what you can do. I wish I were close enough; I'd run over and give you a hand. I've done meals, including catering the whole thing, for friends and customers. For friends it is my gift to them in memory of their loved one.

It is a hell of a lot of work.

[finnime]

Good to see you, weltschmerz . I mean, weltz .

Wait a minute, you have two names?

[Opti]

Pink I am really surprised Mister is having people over after not wanting to have a repast. I think he's made the wrong decision and should have had baby Sis or whomever whined him into this, to do it instead. It seems unplanned and an emotional choice that is making it harder on both of you. I thought the whole reason to skip the repast was to rest and not have everyone at your home. 

I'm stressed reading about it and I would be not happy at all if this was happening to me. 

[finnime]

NastyWoman , busymom , The Walk of the Penguin Mich , jerseygirl , TheOtherMe and chiver78 and anyone I missed who is on right now, hope you have a good night.

We had a wonderful meal with DSis and ODB. DD was not feeling well when we left and was worse when we got back. Think she's ok now.

Franklin the Dog and I are up waiting for the storm to get real. I'll probably get to sleep soon. The wind is high and getting higher. No rain yet; that will wait for the very early hours.

I need to get my DH in to see the nurse navigator and get surgery scheduled. I do not want to, but need to.

[busymom]

No weltschmerz, I cannot imagine.  However, some do not value women.  Not even their own families.


We've had some problems with the boys not respecting their female teachers.  Also, the dropout rate is up in our community.  Of course, that includes students kicked out of school for bad behavior.  I am thankful my kids are done with school now, as due to some various interpretations of recent legislation in our state, the community service officers have been quitting their jobs, leaving students unprotected from violent students in the schools.  I cannot even imagine what the teachers are dealing with.  I'm hoping we have a special session here to fix the current laws on what to do with violent students, otherwise it's gonna get a lot worse before it gets better.

[busymom]

I do want to say that when my Mom was moved to the nursing home, the Muslim women who worked there were more than kind.  So, I'm not going to paint everyone with the same brush.  Still, there are problems that are going to have to be addressed.

[weltz]

I just got back from putting put food out for the homeless cats, skunks, etc....some leftover chicken, sausage and cat food. I even put out a big container of fresh water, and I hope some of the other critters get to drink from it before the raccoons use it as their sink.
Then I smoked a fat one, and all is right with the world.

[weltz]

Sept 15, 2023 19:43:57 GMT -5 finnime said:

Good to see you, weltschmerz . I mean, weltz .

Wait a minute, you have two names?

No, I'm on a new laptop and had to start over.

[NastyWoman]

Sept 15, 2023 19:22:46 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Mister’s friend D is Muslim. But he is a Black Muslim, which I think is a bit different from Muslims from other parts of the world. I feel like I am showing some ignorance by saying that, but with the little knowledge I have, I think it’s true.

Anyway, D was not in town when Mister’s Mom was laid to rest because he was in another part of the country providing service for his brethren. He is out of town now, helping tend to the acres of farmland that they have in another state. 

I knew D years before I even met Mister, and we use to talk about his faith and his beliefs, just because I was curious. I think that the Black Muslims in the US follow Louis Farrakhan’s teachings. Dr. Farrakhan is seen as controversial by many people, but the times I’ve listened to him speak, he was encouraging Black people to own their power and take care of themselves, their families, and their communities. I didn’t have a problem with what I heard. Maybe he’s said some more controversial stuff at other times besides the (admittedly few) times I’ve listened to him, but I haven’t heard any of it with my own ears.

I’ve had a close friend that was a Jehovah’s Witness, and I was curious and had conversations about their beliefs too. 

Whatever my own personal beliefs are, I enjoy having conversations with people whose religion is different from mine, as long as we can have a respectful conversation despite our differences.

What I’ve learned from talking to people of different faiths, is that when you subtract all the nonsense, the bottom line for most major religions, before the extremist kind of shit, is…. Try to be a good, loving person, and take care of your responsibilities.

 but you lose me the moment you try to force your beliefs on me. I will respect you but I expect, no make that demand, that you show me the same respect.

And since Rosh Hashanah is about to start any moment now to all our Jewish members L'shana tova

[countrygirl2]

Just had another post flip away.  That is aggravating.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 15, 2023 19:42:38 GMT -5 finnime said:

Pink Cashmere , you and Mister must give yourselves and each other grace and wide berth right now. Nice as it would be, he's not going to get YD moving and doing her share today or tonight. IMNSHO it should be in the plan, though. For right now and tomorrow, it's eyes forward and head down, working on what you can do. I wish I were close enough; I'd run over and give you a hand. I've done meals, including catering the whole thing, for friends and customers. For friends it is my gift to them in memory of their loved one.

It is a hell of a lot of work.

I appreciate it that you would come help if you lived close enough.

I have prepped the shoulder and made all my sauces for various things, and cleaned the kitchen again. I’m done for tonight. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 15, 2023 19:46:31 GMT -5 Opti said:

Pink I am really surprised Mister is having people over after not wanting to have a repast. I think he's made the wrong decision and should have had baby Sis or whomever whined him into this, to do it instead. It seems unplanned and an emotional choice that is making it harder on both of you. I thought the whole reason to skip the repast was to rest and not have everyone at your home. 

I'm stressed reading about it and I would be not happy at all if this was happening to me. 

I was caught by surprise too. And yes, the whole reason for not having a repast was to not have to deal with feeding a bunch of people and not having guests in our home. 

Idk where this idea came from yesterday. But since it’s what he wants, Imma roll with it as much as I can. And if I have to, I will remind him that this was solely his idea, he didn’t ask how I felt about it, he just told me he was doing it. In my mind, that means it’s his “baby” since it’s not something we talked about and agreed to do,  and I get to pick and choose where and how much effort I put into it. 

One of the bonuses about trying to keep my house clean period, even though it’s a constant battle, is that I don’t have to do a whole lot of work to make it presentable for guests.

I’m not really happy about it, but I am trying to be a team player. If I can’t get my mind right to try to be a good hostess, I will excuse myself and let him handle his guests. I still haven’t eaten anything today, so my stomach is probably done rebelling for now, because it’s empty. But if it still causes me problems tomorrow, it will be a valid reason to excuse myself and retreat to the private part of the house if I don’t feel well. I’m not saying I want my stomach to act up and give me reason to not be a good hostess, I’m just saying that if it does, I probably won’t be willing to try to push through it and entertain guests anyway.

[CCL]

Get some rest Pink Cashmere

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 15, 2023 21:14:42 GMT -5 CCL said:

Get some rest Pink Cashmere

I am definitely going to try to do just that!

[countrygirl2]

Hubs is getting a PMSA scan, something not that old. WIll find  cancer in bone, lymph glands, and other areas. Can tell if its metatastized.


We have everything in order. We are going to make a revision to our will an leave less to DD. She will not end up with it anyway. But I can do that, guess we need to get it taken care of. Have wills, POA's, etc done.

Have plot and headstone for both of us and DD. We have been consolidating accounts and things for awhile now, so it in good shape.

I have sufficient cash for DD, hubs, and I if needed an have access to more. We also have no debt, so its good. All IRA and investment accounts have me listed as contingent bene.

After dealing with our folks, we knew we needed to do this.

[CCL]

How are you feeling TheOtherMe? Hopefully the worst of it is behind you and you're doing better now.

[CCL]

How's your hubby doing countrygirl2? I'm sure the news today is difficult for both of you. 

[busymom]

Wishing you the very best outcome, countrygirl2.  My Dad did have prostate cancer, but it's not what eventually took him from us.  But again, bone cancer is not anything I would wish on anyone.  Glad that your DH is onboard to fight.  

[countrygirl2]

Hubs is getting a PMSA scan, something not that old. WIll find cancer in bone, lymph glands, and other areas. Can tell if its metastasized.


We have everything in order. We are going to make a revision to our will an leave less to DD. She will not end up with it anyway. But I can do that, guess we need to get it taken care of. Have wills, POA's, etc done.

Have plot and headstone for both of us and DD. We have been consolidating accounts and things for awhile now, so it in good shape.

I have sufficient cash for DD, hubs, and I if needed an have access to more. We also have no debt, so its good. All IRA and investment accounts have me listed as contingent bene.

After dealing with our folks, we knew we needed to do this.

[Works4me]

Sept 15, 2023 13:03:22 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Soup and stew, please return to posting. I'm not mad at you, what you said is fine with me. We all have opinions and if we can't share them, whats the point of having places where you can talk.


Right now I am making me some salmon cakes, noone likes them but me and sometimes I just have to have a fix.

I'm also going to stew some apples, again for just me. I made hubs and DD their apple pie.


And no to the person who says, do you want to pay that much for a manufactured home. No, we don't, especially an old one. We thought the $69k was too much for the one we bought, so you know we don't. But it does look pretty and nice.

It is such a pretty place that I just wanted to make sure you saw that. Knowing you though, your current mobile will end up at least that cute if not more so.

I don't know what to say about your hubs' medical situation so I will say I am so sorry. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and let any of us know what we can do to be of help & support. We may have our differences here but you are loved and wanted here.

Sending love and hugs and prayers for you and your family.

[countrygirl2]

No we won't buy it unless it was dirt cheap. But its not going to be. Never get married to anything, you can always buy something else. 

We will either keep what we have or the perfect place will show up. Things always work out one way or another.

[Works4me]

Slipped on a wet towel on a tile floor and hurt my lower back and right hip the end of December - had the second injection today on the right SI joint, first on the left where I have a history of pain going back to my mid 20's. The left if fabulous but the right still hurts, just less - hoping it clears up over the weekend because it has been hell. I've spent the part of this year staring at the ceiling fan. PT and other med stuff is next. I just keep telling myself maybe he hit the joint differently this time. J and my Gizmo-pup are taking excellent care of me.

[CCL]

Works4me Hope you are feeling better soon. I know back issues are miserable. Take care.