what are you doing right now?

[bean29]

CG, I agree with you. The ulta wealthy have all the laws set up to benefit them. Protect what you can for your son & daughter.

All of my Mom’s meager assets will prolly go to ltc for dementia/alzheimers. We are barely into caring for her needs. She is still at home. DB and I stop in several times a week, and I screen her email every day. I delete anything asking her for donation/purchase/complete a survey. That is nearly everything. Politicians just come up with a new e-mail addy.

[daisylu]

Sept 12, 2023 15:51:30 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Sept 12, 2023 15:38:35 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

I liked it better when you kindly knocked 9 years off her age and would like the same treatment please 

wait, what? lol....

I first messed up your name as Chiver87, and corrected it later.

[chiver78]

Sept 12, 2023 18:40:06 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 12, 2023 15:51:30 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

wait, what? lol....

I first missed up your name as Chiver87, and corrected it later.

haha I never actually saw that. I'd take it, though! lol... 

[giramomma]

So, the missy asked me to play some music.

We started with Sir Mix Alot. Because she likes it. And I have decided there are worse messages out there for her, so listening to it is just OK.

And then we got to "I'm sexy and I know it." Which the missy requests by asking for "that song with the men in the swim suits."

She then asked DH if he would dance like the men in the video.

Given that I had an adult beverage, I find that extra hilarious.

[finnime]

Hope all goes well with the visitation, Pink Cashmere. It's hard.

[lurkyloo]

Cannot face Drama’s story rn       Wishing Pink strength and unusually well behaved in laws is about as much as I can handle.

(eating the elephant one bite at a time but also starting with the softer bits instead of the tusks)

[toomuchreality]

Sept 12, 2023 13:00:46 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

I've made a series of phone calls today and did a bunch of online chats, which is something I put off as much as I can. 

I contacted Sirius XM to renegotiate my rate. 

Then I contacted the kitchen remodeling company to come over and take final measurements so we can order cabinets.

Then I contacted the company that provides fiber optic service here and arranged to have that installed so I can kick XFinity to the curb. 

And finally I signed up for an appointment for electronics recycling.   

It seems like nothing in terms of getting things accomplished, but I managed to cross off a lot of things from the list of stuff to get done. 

I just renegotiated my Sirius XM too. I think I got the same rate and pkg that you did. Without any song and dance. It was great!

[toomuchreality]

Sept 12, 2023 13:37:19 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Hugs, Pink Cashmere . 

Hugs, finnime .

Hugs, susana1954. 

Actually, hugs to everyone who needs them right now.

Yeah that!

[saveinla]

I just checked and we pay 1/3 of our salary in taxes, when we see businessmen and a lot of millionaires not pay anything. At this point, I am fine with everyone doing what feels right for them.

The government will take its share anyways - in some way or the other.

[NastyWoman]

Sometimes it pays to have a reasonable memory. About a decade ago I had also let my library card expire and I remembered that little thing called a utility bill needed for address verification. So today Iaalk ingo to the front desk and tell them I want to reactivate my card.  I pull out my DL and the bill. Cute young guy behind the counter says he doesn't need the bill so I stick it back in my purse. He goes through umpteen computer screen and then asks, looking up from my DL, is that the same address as on the utility bill? So out comes the bill again with my sure - here it is so you can compare.

There must not be a lot of people who let their account go inactive but the last time I showed my face there was in November 2019 to return books and I had not been back when the world shut down in March. Well now he knows something like this is required. And I didn't mind as he was very friendly and cute to boot (sorry for that sexist remark but he WAS very cute) 

[chiver78]

whoa. this thread went a little sideways. I'm gonna remind everyone that the "ignore" feature is available to everyone. you can even ignore us mods (we can override if needed for moderating 😝) if you want to.

some posts have already been removed tonight, and more will be. check your attitude at the door, please.

-chiver mod

[toomuchreality]

Sept 12, 2023 19:49:21 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

whoa. this thread went a little sideways. I'm gonna remind everyone that the "ignore" feature is available to everyone. you can even ignore us mods (we can override if needed for moderating 😝) if you want to.

some posts have already been removed tonight, and more will be. check your attitude at the door, please.

-chiver mod

Thank you!♡

[chiver78]

same, MPL. I'm on my phone for the night, without a lot of the mod interface buttons, and another mod yanked the more salty posts tonight. idk what was in the water today, it definitely wasn't a full moon. I'm aware that some posters just don't like other posters. and I'm no different. there's a few I'd love to block, but modding. 🤷‍♀️ I've managed to do my best to scroll on by. I'm sure a few have blocked me, too. but that's why the block option is there. please use it, kids.

-chiver mod

[countrygirl2]

Premium air travel, I upgraded the tickets on ONE trip so DD and I could be more comfortable and not fight our way from the back of the plane. Damn, woman, and it cost us $100 and it wasn't even first class.

We sure haven't had much luxury. I have never been free to do what I want. Had to quit work and sacrifice my SS amount to care for mom and DD. Hubs worked overseas for 15 years and believe me he did not live in luxury. Most guys didn't make it that long. But he did to try and save so we would have something to live on. I went on a few trips, but when mom got sick I was just to the point I was making enough money to start traveling, but that ended that.

I'm just hoping we don't live long enough to end up in nursing homes. And since we both have heart issues I doubt we will. Hubs has a huge distended main artery to his heart that they told him not to over extend himself as it could burst. Don't lift heavy stuff and all, well, since we are trying to finish stuff and get rid of houses, not much he can do about that. They monitor annually, so far no aneurysm has balloned. Now he could have cancer, we will know Friday. He had skin cancer some years back and they got it. I too have heart issues, a leaking valve but not serious enough to cause my death yet but that is one of the reasons I get so tired. I also have something called twisted and tortuous arteries, so doesn't add to my longevity. But I don't dwell on this stuff and won't.  I have stated that, you won't hear about it again. We all have health issues to deal with. I have done what I can to help myself by losing weight. I felt that will give me more of an extension than anything else so I can continue caring for DD.

I'm sorry if what we do makes others unhappy, sure not my goal in life. I have just seen what the government does to hard working people so the families can never get ahead like the super wealthy and its just not right. Nothing I can do about it, but it isn't right, we need universal health care so noone has to be bankrupted to get care.

Now on that note, I will go back to my mantra of, you can be as happy as you want to be. And go from there. 

I appreciate the thoughts of several folks, but I just roll with the punches.

[countrygirl2]

So Friday morning going with my DH's have to get up early and I am not an early bird. When we get home, hope to finish my cleaning at the house. Than if possible, want to finish pulling weeds at the fence where my rose bushes are. Not being home to water them this summer, several didn't make it. So sad as they were beautiful. I have a couple of durable shrubs I put out there, may have to do more of those. One has thorns but has pretty orange berries in the fall. The other is just foliage. I wanted it all to be roses, but to do that have to be cared for.

I did get all the linens washed today and blankets and back on the beds, so all that is clean. It's supposed to get 49 tonight hubs said so I turned the furnace to 66, just in case. I doubt it runs though.

My DIL and her sister are all excited. They went to Vancouver and bought roe or caviar, she said it was $15 a pound, fresh. I believe salmon caviar. She said they salted it and fixed it like they do at home and it's very good. I've never tasted it and not sure I could, she said they grew up eating things like that so love it. I'm sure in the same circumstance I would too. But her and the fish skin and fish heads are too much for me too. Don't know how she can eat those.

The roof of my mouth is still very sore, I got some ketchup on it at dinner and man did that hurt. I'm not sure what I did to it, but been that way at least 3 days and tomorrow supposed to get my teeth cleaned. 

About bed time, I finished my book, will dry my hair and work on a crossword puzzle for awhile. Night All!

[Pink Cashmere]

We are finally home. Mister and I went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner after the visitation.

Please forgive me for being crass, but to me, dead people usually look like dead people. His Dad did not look like that at all. He really looked like he was just sleeping. I’ve heard people say that before about the deceased, that they looked like they were sleeping, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen that myself. 

Mister is having trouble believing that both of his parents are gone now. He said he still picks up his phone sometimes, to text his Mom, then he remembers. He wants to wake up Thursday morning and be back to his old self. I told him that’s not realistic, and to give himself some grace and compassion, because he’s been through a LOT, and it’s going to take however long it takes for him try to put himself back together and figure out life without either of his parents.

Imo, if he was able to go on like nothing has happened, I’d think he was a psychopath or something, because both of his parents were such a big part of his life. 

His friend/mentor came to the visitation, and asked Mister “so you think you’re coming back to work Thursday?” because that’s when Mister had said he was coming back. Mister said yes. His friend shut that down very quickly and told him no, he was not coming to work Thursday. Or Friday. I love that guy! He is one of the few people that Mister will listen to, and he genuinely cares about Mister. 

On a lighter note, Mister and I both had issues trying to get dressed for the visitation. We have both gotten too big for our britches, so to speak. Even though I’ve lost over 20lbs this year, due to my GI issues, my clothes still don’t fit right. And he’s still been gaining weight. So we both kept changing clothes, trying to find something that we were comfortable wearing. I finally said “you know what, it’s just the visitation, I’m about to just put some damn jeans on”. Mister said “say less”, and we both put on jeans and nice shirts and felt much better than all the other stuff we’d tried lol.

So I figure we need to start getting dressed for the funeral tomorrow, about 4 hours early lol, so we have plenty of time to keep changing clothes until we find something that works. Just throwing on jeans tomorrow is not an option.

[giramomma]

Well, I guess DD1 has a gentleman caller.

Whatever in between friends and dating is. I am not sure what that is when you are 15/16.

After a brief trip down memory lane when DH and were FWB at 21, I'm hoping its  a little different for DD1.

I'm not sure what our ground rules should be, other than no hanging out in the bedroom with the door closed.

And, I'm glad DD1 asked if said boy could come over in a few weekends. I appreciate that over the sneaking.

We can make everyone scarce for a while, so there is one adult puttering on the same floor different room..

(Which is more than I got at her age. My parents were like 2 feet away from me and my gentleman callers when they came over.)

And, while I'm talking about her. She's like really freaking smart. I knew she was smart, and I just didn't realize how smart, because she flies under the radar.

[NastyWoman]

Sept 12, 2023 20:52:39 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

same, MPL. I'm on my phone for the night, without a lot of the mod interface buttons, and another mod yanked the more salty posts tonight. idk what was in the water today, it definitely wasn't a full moon. I'm aware that some posters just don't like other posters. and I'm no different. there's a few I'd love to block, but modding. 🤷‍♀️ I've managed to do my best to scroll on by. I'm sure a few have blocked me, too. but that's why the block option is there. please use it, kids.

-chiver mod

I see that you removed the posts relating to the contentious issue and I am totally fine with that.  without touching on what caused the disagreement I DO  want to bring one comment I made back: we are losing members because there is a tendency here to fall over a member's comment if it does not align with the majority opinion, like a pack of hungry wolves. We try to silence that person.

I think that it is important to realize that everyone has a right to their own opinion and they should be able to voice that opinion. At least one poster reacted to my comment by saying that she at times has an opinion that she does not bring up because it is easier to avoid having to face the backlash.

THINK ABOUT THAT! SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT US! WE ARE THE ONES THAT ARE CHASING POSTERS OUT and that needs to stop. As chiver78 mentions above, if you don't like a poster just block them or scroll past their posts. It really is not that hard. I love this little e-village we have here and it would be sad to loose it just because we feel the need to behave like a high school clique.

[Pink Cashmere]

I forgot to say that I told Mister last week that he should put a dollar in his Dad’s pocket because it was always so important to his Dad to have some “money in his pocket”. That’s the thing Mister said that last night I saw him at the hospital, that really got his Dad’s attention, Mister said “you want me to bring you some money” and his Dad turned his head and looked at him.

When we left tonight, I said darn, I forgot to remind you to put a dollar in his pocket. Mister said he forgot too, but he did pin a keyboard to his Dad’s suit tonight. I didn’t even notice him doing that. The pins came in a package of 2, so he showed me the one he still had. It was a gold music note and a tiny black and white keyboard. His Dad played keyboards, pianos and organs. I had no idea Mister had ordered the pins, and like I said, I didn’t even see when he pinned it to his Dad’s suit. I guess that was just a father and son thing, that nobody needed to know about except Mister. That was a thoughtful gesture Imo, and I understand if it was something Mister wanted or needed to do by himself, without talking to anyone else about it, including me.

I apologize for going on and on about stuff that’s sad. 

[finnime]

A keyboard pin sounds just perfect, Pink Cashmere. A wonderful tribute to Mister's dad.

[finnime]

Good morning, beautiful invisible people of Y Ma'am. Welcome to Wednesday. I hope this day is good for you and ends with peace reigning in your life. Plus, dessert on offer, even just a jelly bean or five.

I was working on an alternate schedule for our New Mexico trip but October is out. Friends will be travelling in Europe for 3 weeks, plus we have photography booths to sell at. And beyond that, I can't commit to due to DH's health needing attention. Maybe we can go some time in 2024.

It was raining yesterday at dawn. I took this shot at sunset, over the hurricane barrier pass through gate. I like how the clouds look like ocean waves.

[daisylu]

Dang, I always miss the good stuff. 🤣

Though "knowing" most of the posters involved I can guess what happened. Like @nastywoman , I don't like seeing posters be chased away.

[Opti]

Pink I'm glad the visitation seemed to go OK. One part down and I hope the funeral and after funeral go OK for you both. Gaining weight under stress is pretty common, I hope you are kind to each other for that and everything else. 

[daisylu]

DH must have turned off one of his alarms (he had 2 set, half an hour apart) because I only heard 1 and assumed it was his first one. It must have been his second one, and he is lucky that I woke up when I did. He normally has 45 minutes to get out of the house in the morning. This morning he had 20.

I used to have an alarm set about 10 minutes after his last one to make sure he was moving, which 90% of the time resulted in me pushing him out of bed. When he recently acted like an ass, I stopped setting it and doing some other things that I had been doing to make his life easier. He is starting to notice. 🤫

[daisylu]

Cleaned out the pantry, which is really just a tiny closet (2ft wide x 2ft deep), before sitting down to work. I am   at how much expired stuff had to be tossed. Like individual apple sauce and fruit cups, with dates of 2001. At least now it is organized and everything is visible.

And now it is bugging me that the shelves in there are only 1 foot deep. Thinking about adding something to the door for some items. Now that it is just DH & I it would be handy to have that section for open items, like chips, crackers, etc. When the kids were here those things never lasted long enough to need a designated spot.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 12, 2023 22:49:17 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I forgot to say that I told Mister last week that he should put a dollar in his Dad’s pocket because it was always so important to his Dad to have some “money in his pocket”. That’s the thing Mister said that last night I saw him at the hospital, that really got his Dad’s attention, Mister said “you want me to bring you some money” and his Dad turned his head and looked at him.

When we left tonight, I said darn, I forgot to remind you to put a dollar in his pocket. Mister said he forgot too, but he did pin a keyboard to his Dad’s suit tonight. I didn’t even notice him doing that. The pins came in a package of 2, so he showed me the one he still had. It was a gold music note and a tiny black and white keyboard. His Dad played keyboards, pianos and organs. I had no idea Mister had ordered the pins, and like I said, I didn’t even see when he pinned it to his Dad’s suit. I guess that was just a father and son thing, that nobody needed to know about except Mister. That was a thoughtful gesture Imo, and I understand if it was something Mister wanted or needed to do by himself, without talking to anyone else about it, including me.

I apologize for going on and on about stuff that’s sad. 

That's really a sweet gesture. Who started cutting onions in here? 

[lurkyloo]

Sept 12, 2023 22:49:17 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I forgot to say that I told Mister last week that he should put a dollar in his Dad’s pocket because it was always so important to his Dad to have some “money in his pocket”. That’s the thing Mister said that last night I saw him at the hospital, that really got his Dad’s attention, Mister said “you want me to bring you some money” and his Dad turned his head and looked at him.

When we left tonight, I said darn, I forgot to remind you to put a dollar in his pocket. Mister said he forgot too, but he did pin a keyboard to his Dad’s suit tonight. I didn’t even notice him doing that. The pins came in a package of 2, so he showed me the one he still had. It was a gold music note and a tiny black and white keyboard. His Dad played keyboards, pianos and organs. I had no idea Mister had ordered the pins, and like I said, I didn’t even see when he pinned it to his Dad’s suit. I guess that was just a father and son thing, that nobody needed to know about except Mister. That was a thoughtful gesture Imo, and I understand if it was something Mister wanted or needed to do by himself, without talking to anyone else about it, including me.

I apologize for going on and on about stuff that’s sad. 

Can’t do much, but we can help you process.  I think the pins are lovely and am glad to know about them. 

[raeoflyte]

On Monday I hit myself in the face with a stick while I was training. Nothing terrible but enough to have a good headache for 24 hours but I had my days confused so I didn't take advil. Today's the day I need to stop taking advil. I feel fine now - it really wasnt that bad - but I'm annoyed with myself.

T minus 1 week to surgery. I need to make a list.
Dogs to bathe,
food to cook,
fence off the damn grapes,
I might buy another mattress pad and fitted sheet so I can make my bed like a crib and just strip the top layer, and voila - clean sheets! Buy myself a 2nd week there.
Oh - write out "recipes" for our easy meals like tacos, spaghetti, etc so that the kids can throw those together. Ill have cooked and frozen ground beef in the freezer to make those go together quickly.

I don't think there is much else I can prep ahead of time. But I do need chores written out to make it easier for helping to get done.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

In regards to nursing home care here are my musings on the subject.

Everyone in this country whether we want to or not has to make sure they at least save enough for 1-2 years of nursing home care.  That would be about $200k+    That is your ticket into a decent nursing home because the majority of them now are expecting residents to at least have that much in cash before they will accept them.

You have no money you can still get into a home but it will not be a very nice one.   My dad refers to the one GU is in as a "shithole".  Turns out grandma has been paying his way all his life so he had jack squat to his name besides the house.  He had to go on Medicaid right away and very few homes anymore are accepting Medicaid upfront if at all.   You don't get to pick if you are on Medicaid upfront.

That being said there is no way on God's green Earth anyone is going to be able to 100% fund their own nursing home care.  Let's say my grandma lives 5 years in the home that is $516,000 and that is just for room/board.  I'm assuming most people are going to live some of their retirement if not a good majority of it outside a nursing home so you're going to have to factor in a bonus $516, 000 into your retirement savings as a "just in case" that you never touch.   Not many people are going to be able to do that.

Then seeing how these places are run I'm sorry I can no longer get behind every single penny and asset you have should go to them.  They are so incredibly corrupt and greedy.  We have 20 nursing homes closing in Iowa because the administration ran things so far into the red they are bankrupt.  My grandma's nursing home is sitting at 65% empty beds because they are holding out for people like my grandma how are they operating in the black at 65% empty?  That $8600 a month she is paying is definitely not going to the staff who actually take care of her either.    

Not a single penny of what she saved all those years go to us.   And she still ends up on Medicaid at the end of it.  There won't be anything left for the state to collect the nursing home got every single penny.  They bullied me into returning the lift chair because that was an extra $2500 they could milk out of my grandma rather than it being tied up in a chair.  They accused me of elder abuse because they wanted to scare me itno selling her house before she died so Iowa wouldn't get the money.

Screw it, if you can shelter some of your money and assets for your family do so.  Especially because there is a big push on the part of nursing homes to try to bully family into paying for residents.  The nursing home tried that with me informing me I was PERSONALLY responsible for grandma's bills and if I didn't pay up she would be on the streets.  That's against federal law but most people don't know that and pay.  Now the nursing home can get you to pay private rates indefintely because you "agreed" by handing over a check with your name on it.

That is leading to generational poverty because all your dad's money went to grandma.  Now your money has to go to dad.  So forth and so on.

It is a giant corrupt dysfunctional nightmare.   If nursing homes and the state can do whatever they please to benefit themselves then I should have every right to avail myself of what little tools there are for individuals to protect at least some of my assets.

[chiver78]

I'm currently logged in to what is typically an in-person meeting in NE PA. none of "my side" of the organization is there in person this time, which is fine. that actually made the decision not to travel that much easier this time. but this day-long meeting drags on... and, I don't have a live mic to participate. so that's always fun.      maybe I can actually crank through cleaning out my inbox some while I listen in on the proceedings.