what are you doing right now?

[Pink Cashmere]

My relative that acted on the bat signal I sent out and had my family do everything they did to feed Mister’s family after his Mom’s funeral and burial, will be in town tomorrow morning. 

She is leaving Sunday, but said that if I need her to stay and help me with anything, she will just call out Monday.

This is my relative with the PhD and a career and professional title, instead of just a job. She has a lot more responsibilities at her job than I do at mine. For her to even say that was shocking and almost made me cry. I told her NO, I am sure we won’t need anything important enough for her to call out at her job. I love her anyway, but I love her even more for being so willing to show up for me if and when I need her.

[chiver78]

Sept 8, 2023 17:28:15 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

My relative that acted on the bat signal I sent out and had my family do everything they did to feed Mister’s family after his Mom’s funeral and burial, will be in town tomorrow morning. 

She is leaving Sunday, but said that if I need her to stay and help me with anything, she will just call out Monday.

This is my relative with the PhD and a career and professional title, instead of just a job. She has a lot more responsibilities at her job than I do at mine. For her to even say that was shocking and almost made me cry. I told her NO, I am sure we won’t need anything important enough for her to call out at her job. I love her anyway, but I love her even more for being so willing to show up for me if and when I need her.

I don't have a PhD, but otherwise this resonated. this is my first reaction to making sure my loved ones are okay, b/c I suck at awkward human interaction but am a bang-up cook. and if I lived near you, I'd have already offered the same. just breathe, and remember that anyone asking what they can do is trying to help, and not seeking a task you need to create. it's perfectly okay to say no, you're all set. 

[cooper88]

Sept 8, 2023 17:08:51 GMT -5 Opti said:

Sept 8, 2023 13:44:42 GMT -5 cooper88 said:

So I call the grocery store about my order I'm supposed to pick up at noon today, since I never got a text that it was ready. They say nobody from that department came in today. Sigh.

Bummer. Do you have to pick it up tomorrow?

They ended up canceling my order. Everyone called in sick today for the first shift. I placed a new order and can pick it up later tonight. Hopefully.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 8, 2023 17:41:43 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Sept 8, 2023 17:28:15 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

My relative that acted on the bat signal I sent out and had my family do everything they did to feed Mister’s family after his Mom’s funeral and burial, will be in town tomorrow morning. 

She is leaving Sunday, but said that if I need her to stay and help me with anything, she will just call out Monday.

This is my relative with the PhD and a career and professional title, instead of just a job. She has a lot more responsibilities at her job than I do at mine. For her to even say that was shocking and almost made me cry. I told her NO, I am sure we won’t need anything important enough for her to call out at her job. I love her anyway, but I love her even more for being so willing to show up for me if and when I need her.

I don't have a PhD, but otherwise this resonated. this is my first reaction to making sure my loved ones are okay, b/c I suck at awkward human interaction but am a bang-up cook. and if I lived near you, I'd have already offered the same. just breathe, and remember that anyone asking what they can do is trying to help, and not seeking a task you need to create. it's perfectly okay to say no, you're all set. 

I only mentioned the PhD because I’m so proud of her for achieving it, she’s the only person in my close family that did that. I know it doesn’t say anything about her character or whatever, I’m just proud of her accomplishments. 

I know people just want to help if they can, and if there really is something I think somebody can help with, I will let them know. That is why Aunt D ended up being the one to tell Mister’s Mom’s sister that Mr. Messy had passed. Aunt D had been saying to please let her know anything she could help with, no matter what time of day or night. So since Mister was dreading informing Aunt G, I mentioned it to Aunt D, and she took care of it. And text me later, saying she was glad she did, because Mister didn’t need to hear all that wailing Aunt G did. Which is the very reason Mister didn’t want to tell her himself, and didn’t want me to do it for him lol.

So OD has been doing the obituary, like she did for her Grandmother. Tuesday, Mister told his brother to figure out pallbearers and give OD the names. That was ONE freaking task, that only involved some phone calls. And he still hasn’t done it. I understand he might not be feeling well, but if he can call Mister asking about money, he can make some calls to line the pallbearers up. 

I considered volunteering DS, because he would do it if I asked, and he actually liked Mr. Messy because he embraced DS from the first time they met and engaged DS in conversation every time he saw him and always asked about him when DS wasn’t here. That’s kind of a big deal for an older man, regarding a gay man that’s not even related to him by blood, and even if I had no other reason to love Mr. Messy, I would have, just for how he embraced my son. But maybe I’m a bitch, because I still really don’t want to bail Mister’s family out this time, and have my family try to make things right. So I will not ask DS to be a pallbearer. 

If the funeral and everything else is a shitshow, that will be on their family, not on me.

[Pink Cashmere]

DS insisted on cleaning the carpet in my living room today, because he knew I wanted it done just in case we do end up having company.

He woke up sneezing and sniffling for hours, until he finally took some Benadryl. He’s had dinner, and is currently snoring softly, laying on the carpet in my living room. I know my children and grandchildren prefer camping out in my living room over using an available bed, and I know the carpet in there is clean, because DS cleaned it today, but it still bothers me that he is sleeping on bare carpet in there, instead of at least on and under some sheets and comforters. 

I don’t want to wake him up to try to make him sleep on what would make me feel better. But it’s still bothering me.

[daisylu]

Hugs Pink Cashmere

[minnesotapaintlady]

Finally got all my bags of clothes unloaded AND the wedding dress, AND I took them to the little place instead of Goodwill.  I swear though, I felt super guilty walking in with all these garbage bags packed with clothes like I was dumping my crap on them, even though it's not.

My aunt is having a huge garage sale at the end of the month (basically a pre-estate sale so I don't have to deal with it as the executor someday...thank god cuz we know how much I suck at that).  Anyhow, I'm going to gather some things to take there like the pack and play and the snowmobile suit.  She was trying to convince me to take all the clothes last night and I'm like, "HELL NO".  There was no way I was going to unbag all that stuff and sort it by size and sit around waiting for 50 cents an article, then bag most of it back up again that didn't sell.

Most of my house looks unchanged by removing a vanload of stuff, but my closet is 100X better.  I can actually walk in and find things.  There's still a lot in there that could go.  I counted 15 mens dress shirts still there, but it's much more in control.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 8, 2023 18:20:21 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Finally got all my bags of clothes unloaded AND the wedding dress, AND I took them to the little place instead of Goodwill.  I swear though, I felt super guilty walking in with all these garbage bags packed with clothes like I was dumping my crap on them, even though it's not.

My aunt is having a huge garage sale at the end of the month (basically a pre-estate sale so I don't have to deal with it as the executor someday...thank god cuz we know how much I suck at that).  Anyhow, I'm going to gather some things to take there like the pack and play and the snowmobile suit.  She was trying to convince me to take all the clothes last night and I'm like, "HELL NO".  There was no way I was going to unbag all that stuff and sort it by size and sit around waiting for 50 cents an article, then bag most of it back up again that didn't sell.

Most of my house looks unchanged by removing a vanload of stuff, but my closet is 100X better.  I can actually walk in and find things.  There's still a lot in there that could go.  I counted 15 mens dress shirts still there, but it's much more in control.

You are making progress. That’s great! You can already see results from your efforts, let that motivate you to keep going. 

I am sure you are aware of the saying about how to eat an elephant….. one bite at a time.

Keep biting!

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 8, 2023 18:19:45 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Hugs Pink Cashmere

Thank you.

I know you said you will probably be somewhere in my area soon, and if you will be close enough and it works with my work schedule, I am willing to drive to meet you.

I don’t remember what part of the country you live in, I know (think) you recently said you grew up in Baltimore, but I don’t think that’s where you live anymore. I have a running list in my mind, of places I want to visit so I can meet some of my friends here, in person.

My wish list already includes Washington state, Oregon, California, New York, Massachusetts (I think, but not sure if I have that state right lol), Colorado, Utah, Nebraska or Iowa (I get confused about where one poster actually lives, and there is another that has lived in a couple of the states I’ve mentioned, but I’m not sure what state they live in now), Kansas or Missouri, and even Canada.

Ive always wanted to visit all 50 states in the US, the ones where I might be able to meet my Internet friends are priorities though. And just because I didn’t specifically mention the state some people here live in, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to meet them in person. I was just naming the states that immediately came to mind. 

ETA that I just remembered one of the posters I’d really like to meet lives in Texas. I’m not keen on spending my money in Texas or Florida, but I could be tempted if that’s what I gotta do to meet some of my friends here. And a couple others in Indiana. Imma leave that at that. If you vibe with me here, even if we don’t always agree on things, I’d probably like to meet you IRL. 

[giramomma]

Well, I never heard back, which means I didn't even get a second interview. Which really sucks.

I'm really ready just to give up.

Mostly, I'm angry about having to be responsible and always having to do the right thing.

There's no reward for that. You don't get jobs based on personal integrity.

[susana1954]

I know we have been dealing with a lot of deaths lately, particularly of our older relatives.  Add me to the list.  My ex's mother had a heart attack playing bingo on Wednesday.  At the ER, the doctors discovered that her aortic valve had collapsed. She is on a morphine drip and getting weaker and weaker.  This is really hard on my children, even if they are in the 40s, because they were extremely close to their grandmother.  She's had dementia for the last several years, but my daughter said that when she couldn't remember the relationship, she always introduced her as someone she loved a lot--her sister, her aunt, and so on.  Some of the relationships made the caregivers smile at the absurdity,

Losing her and my former FIL were one of the harder parts of my divorce.  And they always treated me with kindness afterwards even though I asked for the divorce.  I met my ex when I was 18, and we were married for almost 25 years so she was a significant part of my life.

I have always tried not to intrude unless necessary (my grandkids' birthdays, graduations, etc.) where my ex's family was concerned, but I wanted to say "I love you" and "good-bye" even though she is basically comatose from the morphine.  My daughter made that happen when her father and his wife had gone home for the night.  I am not sure they would have said no, but I didn't have to ask.  

I won't go back to the hospital unless asked, but I am at peace with my good-byes.  And with her death.  We all are, but it is still difficult.

[Pink Cashmere]

So on a totally unrelated note considering the shit going on in my life…. several years ago, before we even started talking about living together, I got on Mister and bossed him around, telling him to at least contribute enough to his retirement account that would make his employer contribute the same amount. And I told him what fund to put the bulk of his money in.

He was not happy with me telling him what to do, and recently told me he didn’t like my advice and he was looking at me crazy. But he did it anyway.

A couple days ago, he came and told me “Come here” with enough urgency in his voice that I thought something was wrong. But he just wanted to tell me that his retirement account is in the 6 figures now. He was shocked because he hadn’t looked at it in a long time.

Me being me, I was all smug about it and said, you only have that much money because you followed advice from a dummy, right? He wasn’t entertaining that, which was ok….. because he was so happy he was practically doing cartwheels in the den. 

But the truth is that he wouldn’t have that much money in his retirement account if I hadn’t been in his ear. We aren’t married now, and at the time I wasn’t even interested in marrying him, so I wasn’t giving him advice to benefit me. I was just looking out for him. But I’ve always been the “bad guy” that he needed to be careful about what he listened to that I was saying. 

I obviously still have some work to do myself, with sorting all that shit out, about his parents and his children having problems with me having some influence with Mister. 

[NastyWoman]

Sept 8, 2023 19:17:39 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

I know we have been dealing with a lot of deaths lately, particularly of our older relatives.  Add me to the list.  My ex's mother had a heart attack playing bingo on Wednesday.  At the ER, the doctors discovered that her aortic valve had collapsed. She is on a morphine drip and getting weaker and weaker.  This is really hard on my children, even if they are in the 40s, because they were extremely close to their grandmother.  She's had dementia for the last several years, but my daughter said that when she couldn't remember the relationship, she always introduced her as someone she loved a lot--her sister, her aunt, and so on.  Some of the relationships made the caregivers smile at the absurdity,

Losing her and my former FIL were one of the harder parts of my divorce.  And they always treated me with kindness afterwards even though I asked for the divorce.  I met my ex when I was 18, and we were married for almost 25 years so she was a significant part of my life.

I have always tried not to intrude unless necessary (my grandkids' birthdays, graduations, etc.) where my ex's family was concerned, but I wanted to say "I love you" and "good-bye" even though she is basically comatose from the morphine.  My daughter made that happen when her father and his wife had gone home for the night.  I am not sure they would have said no, but I didn't have to ask.  

I won't go back to the hospital unless asked, but I am at peace with my good-byes.  And with her death.  We all are, but it is still difficult.

[lurkyloo]

Sept 8, 2023 17:18:00 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 8, 2023 17:13:41 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

It’s reasonable to test after 3 days, and they keep extending the dates on the mailed tests-you can look up the new expiration dates online I think?  If you don’t see a control line pop up you shouldn’t trust the result.  Negative today isn’t a totally clean bill of health though.  I would definitely test again before Mister Messy’s funeral.

All the hugs.

Ok. Thank you.

If I find that the home tests are still good, I guess I need to test tonight? Because I’ve been planning to go back to work tomorrow. 

I am really out of sorts, and I appreciate you trying to help me think.

Thinking is hard with so much going on.  

Honestly I would probably test tomorrow morning over testing tonight, myself.  I would definitely wear a mask at work if you go regardless of a negative test.

[flamingo]

Hugs, susana1954. I’m glad you got a chance to say your goodbyes.

[zibazinski]

Well, an unexpected “ gift” from traveling- influenza A. The worst is over but I’m weak still. A few more weeks and I’d have had my flu shot. I usually travel in October so it’s never been an issue but omg, the flu is awful. I can’t even remember the last time I had it, it’s been that long. Of course it started last Saturday and I couldn’t get in to see doctor until Tuesday. Too late for tamiflu but she suggested a B complex to help combat the lack of energy. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired!! Fortunately, DD didn’t catch it from me so she’s ok.

[zibazinski]

Sept 8, 2023 19:17:39 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

I know we have been dealing with a lot of deaths lately, particularly of our older relatives.  Add me to the list.  My ex's mother had a heart attack playing bingo on Wednesday.  At the ER, the doctors discovered that her aortic valve had collapsed. She is on a morphine drip and getting weaker and weaker.  This is really hard on my children, even if they are in the 40s, because they were extremely close to their grandmother.  She's had dementia for the last several years, but my daughter said that when she couldn't remember the relationship, she always introduced her as someone she loved a lot--her sister, her aunt, and so on.  Some of the relationships made the caregivers smile at the absurdity,

Losing her and my former FIL were one of the harder parts of my divorce.  And they always treated me with kindness afterwards even though I asked for the divorce.  I met my ex when I was 18, and we were married for almost 25 years so she was a significant part of my life.

I have always tried not to intrude unless necessary (my grandkids' birthdays, graduations, etc.) where my ex's family was concerned, but I wanted to say "I love you" and "good-bye" even though she is basically comatose from the morphine.  My daughter made that happen when her father and his wife had gone home for the night.  I am not sure they would have said no, but I didn't have to ask.  

I won't go back to the hospital unless asked, but I am at peace with my good-byes.  And with her death.  We all are, but it is still difficult.

Hugs

[mollyanna58]

Sept 8, 2023 19:58:17 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Well, an unexpected “ gift” from traveling- influenza A. The worst is over but I’m weak still. A few more weeks and I’d have had my flu shot. I usually travel in October so it’s never been an issue but omg, the flu is awful. I can’t even remember the last time I had it, it’s been that long. Of course it started last Saturday and I couldn’t get in to see doctor until Tuesday. Too late for tamiflu but she suggested a B complex to help combat the lack of energy. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired!! Fortunately, DD didn’t catch it from me so she’s ok.

I hope you feel better soon.

[CCL]

 susana1954

I hope you feel better soon zibazinski

[countrygirl2]

I hate it when I lose posts.

I'm heading for bed shortly, we are all beat. Hubs, DD, me and the cats too.

Went to doc today neurologist, we are trying new meds that just came out for her headaches, hope they work well, trying two different ones to see which works best.

She said it's likely the metroprolol that is making her bp to low, but has to be her heart doc change that. She said maybe something else he can pick. Will have to see. Since DD has chronic a fib, that is an issue too.

The PA was the one telling us this stuff, the doctor wasn't there. He has quite a few offices in different states so not in that often.  

And DD's bp was better today, like 108/65, so ok. She said if she gets dizzy standing up to take it that she thinks the low bp is her issue, I will check.

I did cook the shish kabob tonight, made deviled eggs and had baked potatoes so an ok dinner. Gave hubs an avocado too, he was hungry. He hadn't eaten much the last few nights.

I'm watching the rest of a movie, just about over, it's 11:10, than I'm brushing my teeth, putting on my nose strip and hitting the sack.

Tomorrow morning, hubs and I are going to the neighbors and picking a bucket of apples, he said there were pears too and this year they are nice. I told him I wasn't canning this year but if they are really good I might can a few and pitch the old canned ones. Will see tomorrow, if nothing else I will bake a pie at least.

We are going to lunch at the first Paw paw festival in town tomorrow. They hope to start having them annually. Also going to the corn festival this month and october fest next month. Hubs is actually going with us tomorrow to that. He never goes with us to anything like that so kind of unusual. Would be nice if he started doing that. I also heard about a hot air balloon festival around  here somewhere, need to take DD.

Well night all, hope many of you with troubles, have better days coming.

[toomuchreality]

Sept 8, 2023 13:20:07 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 8, 2023 13:17:22 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

It was my dad's birthday too. He would turn 99 if he were still alive

Mine is turning 68. I'll have to remind him of the fact that he's old this weekend.

Another helpful moment! 😄

[toomuchreality]

Sept 8, 2023 19:17:39 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

I know we have been dealing with a lot of deaths lately, particularly of our older relatives.  Add me to the list.  My ex's mother had a heart attack playing bingo on Wednesday.  At the ER, the doctors discovered that her aortic valve had collapsed. She is on a morphine drip and getting weaker and weaker.  This is really hard on my children, even if they are in the 40s, because they were extremely close to their grandmother.  She's had dementia for the last several years, but my daughter said that when she couldn't remember the relationship, she always introduced her as someone she loved a lot--her sister, her aunt, and so on.  Some of the relationships made the caregivers smile at the absurdity,

Losing her and my former FIL were one of the harder parts of my divorce.  And they always treated me with kindness afterwards even though I asked for the divorce.  I met my ex when I was 18, and we were married for almost 25 years so she was a significant part of my life.

I have always tried not to intrude unless necessary (my grandkids' birthdays, graduations, etc.) where my ex's family was concerned, but I wanted to say "I love you" and "good-bye" even though she is basically comatose from the morphine.  My daughter made that happen when her father and his wife had gone home for the night.  I am not sure they would have said no, but I didn't have to ask.  

I won't go back to the hospital unless asked, but I am at peace with my good-byes.  And with her death.  We all are, but it is still difficult.

Hugs ♡

[toomuchreality]

Thank you for your kind thoughts, about my grand dog. She really is a sweetheart. I can't imagine what she could, or would have done to the other dog, to warrant it's aggressive behavior.

DD1 and her wife are dog sitting the goldendoodle, for her wife's sister, while they are in Hawaii.

DD1 can't have kids, so her dogs have always been her life.

[finnime]

Good morning, sagacious and tenacious invisipeeps of Y Ma'am, keeping on keeping on. Welcome to Saturday. I hope this day brings you respite from caring for and managing everything and lets you just flop on a sofa and zone out with any movie you care to see.

Got back before 11 last night from dinner with school friends from long ago. We met and ate at the home of one of them in the town we grew up in, about an hour from here. It was a wonderful evening. Now I'm knee deep in fruit salad left over.

Need to start packing up the car for our booth in the arts and crafts show in a couple of hours.

Yesterday dawn was deeply foggy. This is my favorite sailboat, moored in the fog.

[andi9899]

Sept 8, 2023 17:03:32 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Brother told Mister that he did get tested for COVID and he tested positive.

We were around him Tuesday. Is it too early for us to test? Do we have to go somewhere or are the tests everybody received in the mail still good?

I am having trouble thinking right now and trying to figure shit out, because I’m overwhelmed.

They have expiration dates on them. It's not too early to test. If the ones you have are expired, you can get them at any drugstore.

[raeoflyte]

I woke up wondering what this awful metal on metal grinding sound was and if we should be worried someone was trying to break in. But it was just dh's sinus'.

I realized I should have some meals prepped for my surgery. Dh can handle things on his side of the week, but theres still the half hes working and realistically he's going to be overwhelmed and I'm likelyto be tired if I can start working as quickly as I'm hoping. So I'm going to make that a priority this weekend.

[andi9899]

Sept 8, 2023 17:41:43 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Sept 8, 2023 17:28:15 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

My relative that acted on the bat signal I sent out and had my family do everything they did to feed Mister’s family after his Mom’s funeral and burial, will be in town tomorrow morning. 

She is leaving Sunday, but said that if I need her to stay and help me with anything, she will just call out Monday.

This is my relative with the PhD and a career and professional title, instead of just a job. She has a lot more responsibilities at her job than I do at mine. For her to even say that was shocking and almost made me cry. I told her NO, I am sure we won’t need anything important enough for her to call out at her job. I love her anyway, but I love her even more for being so willing to show up for me if and when I need her.

I don't have a PhD, but otherwise this resonated. this is my first reaction to making sure my loved ones are okay, b/c I suck at awkward human interaction but am a bang-up cook. and if I lived near you, I'd have already offered the same. just breathe, and remember that anyone asking what they can do is trying to help, and not seeking a task you need to create. it's perfectly okay to say no, you're all set. 

Same.

[daisylu]

Sorry susana1954

[giramomma]

I might take the missy to a open house at a fire station today. I wanted to communicate to DD1 that perhaps she might enjoy going as well.

[andi9899]

Sept 8, 2023 18:45:54 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 8, 2023 18:19:45 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Hugs Pink Cashmere

Thank you.

I know you said you will probably be somewhere in my area soon, and if you will be close enough and it works with my work schedule, I am willing to drive to meet you.

I don’t remember what part of the country you live in, I know (think) you recently said you grew up in Baltimore, but I don’t think that’s where you live anymore. I have a running list in my mind, of places I want to visit so I can meet some of my friends here, in person.

My wish list already includes Washington state, Oregon, California, New York, Massachusetts (I think, but not sure if I have that state right lol), Colorado, Utah, Nebraska or Iowa (I get confused about where one poster actually lives, and there is another that has lived in a couple of the states I’ve mentioned, but I’m not sure what state they live in now), Kansas or Missouri, and even Canada.

Ive always wanted to visit all 50 states in the US, the ones where I might be able to meet my Internet friends are priorities though. And just because I didn’t specifically mention the state some people here live in, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to meet them in person. I was just naming the states that immediately came to mind. 

ETA that I just remembered one of the posters I’d really like to meet lives in Texas. I’m not keen on spending my money in Texas or Florida, but I could be tempted if that’s what I gotta do to meet some of my friends here. And a couple others in Indiana. Imma leave that at that. If you vibe with me here, even if we don’t always agree on things, I’d probably like to meet you IRL. 

If ever in KS, MO, IA, NE, or OK I would drive to meet you. I fly to TX all the time, so I'd go there. I'm honestly willing to get on a plane and go pretty much anywhere.