what are you doing right now?

[daisylu]

Sept 4, 2023 12:07:05 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Hugs daisylu, I know exactly what you are dealing with.

I take care of everything in my household while DH blissfully carries on with life. He had to call me last month when I was out late to ask how to run the washing machine. helping at softball concession stand late to ask me how to wash the girls' uniforms in the washing machine.

So ya, I get it.

Thank you. A grown who can not wash his own clothes is a big issue. He is 44 years old and lived on his own for a while before we married. He did it before we married, but can't now?

[daisylu]

Sept 4, 2023 11:55:19 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I found some really nice townhouses that I want to look at. I'd have to take the twins out on leashes instead of letting them loose in a fenced in backyard, but it would be worth it.

www.plazaeastkc.com/availableunits.aspx?myOlePropertyId=1414681&MoveInDate=&t=0.38850433905462944&floorPlans=4084043

The price is right and it's in a much better neighborhood. I'd have everything mailed to my parents house, so on paper I'd live in KS. That way I don't have to retitle my car and switch my driver's/insurance licenses. Tomorrow I'm scheduling a tour and may pull the trigger on everything. Fingers crossed!

Want a room mate? I love dogs!

[countrygirl2]

I don't know hubs and I do stuff for each other. I could rant about him not weeding the flower beds and landscaping. But you know it doesn't matter to me. He has had to do the house stuff by himself, including the cleaning I usually do at the rental. 

Yesterday I washed the sheets for our beds and didn't get them on, was working outside so he made up the beds. Sure sometimes I get aggravated at him but since he retired he is good about helping. I'm not happy with him not traveling with me and moving to Washington, but given time I think he will come around.  Right now we are waiting to see what his prognosis will be about his prostrate. Depending on whether its hopefully benign, or the other, it may help him make some decisions. I am worried but trying not to let it show. I think he is also, I've seen him reading about stuff but I don't say anything to him. It's the silent issue in the room.

With all the time we spent apart in our lives, I'm surprised we still care about each other. I hope he feels about me the way I feel about him. I think he does, but who knows. We are at least past the midlife crisis state.

You just have to decide what are deal breakers in your life or what you can let slide. My time I almost broke was caring for rentals, working, dealing with mom and DD all at the same time. But he couldn't help as he was working away. I had to end up quitting work, I just could not do it all, almost sank me. But I couldn't blame him, he was trying to make a living for us, so it worked out ok. And he will help with DD as much as he can. If I need him too, he will change her bed and wash her bedding, cook for her, see she has her meds. I just generally don't need that help. I used to be sick a lot but after I finally got my tonsils out that stopped.

And since he agreed to buy the place in Washington, that gave me something I really wanted also. I just couldn't find something affordable. So right now we are doing well, will we have bad days of course. I don't believe that any marriage is totally happy, happy. Just need to know what you can deal with I guess. Of course, the drinking back when almost became the deal breaker, but that stopped too.

[daisylu]

Sept 4, 2023 12:32:08 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 4, 2023 11:55:19 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I found some really nice townhouses that I want to look at. I'd have to take the twins out on leashes instead of letting them loose in a fenced in backyard, but it would be worth it.

www.plazaeastkc.com/availableunits.aspx?myOlePropertyId=1414681&MoveInDate=&t=0.38850433905462944&floorPlans=4084043

The price is right and it's in a much better neighborhood. I'd have everything mailed to my parents house, so on paper I'd live in KS. That way I don't have to retitle my car and switch my driver's/insurance licenses. Tomorrow I'm scheduling a tour and may pull the trigger on everything. Fingers crossed!

Want a room mate? I love dogs!

And I will pay for Chiefs tickets! 🤣

[Deleted]

Sept 4, 2023 11:50:24 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Sept 4, 2023 11:38:47 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Ok, so my homecoming from Kansas started off ok with a nice grilled meal. And then the shoe dropped, over music of all things - mostly because I always just go with what he wants because it is not that big a deal to me, but he does not try to do the same for me. Turned into DH saying he's not sure we should stay married. WTF. First sign of any of this. In his mind he ALLOWS so much from me that he doesn't fight, which is kind of accurate, but he refuses to admit that I do the same. I thought me traveling more would ease up on some of the issues, but not enough - mostly because I am still taking care of making sure that he has essentials that he will need while I am gone. For example, I went the grocery store to get stuff for his lunch last weekend, even though I wasn't go be here to need anything. I make sure that he has his meds and food before I go anywhere. I'm the one who has his nose flush on auto delivery so that he dies not run out. These are things that he could easily do, but relies on me for. I think my next trip may last a month or 2 by choice.

My work travel is so much more now that I could just stay in hotels in between. I could be at the ocean instead of dealing with his mid life crisis, which I am about to do.

And DH is showing signs of gallstones, but won't listen to me about it. So I'm saying fuck it let him deal with it on his own, maybe he will learn a lesson. Hence my post of about to not care anything but myself. I think I am there now. There is a likelihood that if I leave this house I will never come back, which he has now acknowledged. There is some hope. When he got out of bed I got up and emptied a dresser drawer to go through. He entered the bedroom and saw the clothes on the bed, and you could see the look of horror on his face when he asked what I was doing. It was obvious that he thought that I was packing.

And I'm listening to George Strait 50 number ones, wondering how the hell this Baltimore girl's life turned into a country song.

Hell to the absolutely yes!

Your DH is a grown man. Unless there is some mental issue, he needs to wise up and deal with his own stuff. You're not his mother or servant. Let him deal with the consequences of his actions - or inactions.

[Deleted]

Sept 4, 2023 11:55:19 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I found some really nice townhouses that I want to look at. I'd have to take the twins out on leashes instead of letting them loose in a fenced in backyard, but it would be worth it.

www.plazaeastkc.com/availableunits.aspx?myOlePropertyId=1414681&MoveInDate=&t=0.38850433905462944&floorPlans=4084043

The price is right and it's in a much better neighborhood. I'd have everything mailed to my parents house, so on paper I'd live in KS. That way I don't have to retitle my car and switch my driver's/insurance licenses. Tomorrow I'm scheduling a tour and may pull the trigger on everything. Fingers crossed!

Nice!

[daisylu]

I am losing my filter.

[giramomma]

Hugs, daisy.

[andi9899]

Sept 4, 2023 12:38:17 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 4, 2023 12:32:08 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Want a room mate? I love dogs!

And I will pay for Chiefs tickets! 🤣

OMG! Chiefs tickets are expensive now that they're a decent team. I was looking at them because my nephew mentioned wanting to go to a game. 😳

[busymom]

Sept 4, 2023 12:47:29 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I am losing my filter.

      Me too.  It's actually rather freeing.  And, it's amazing the look on other people's faces, those who have known me for years, when I express more thoughts that I used to keep to myself.  


       Tell him what needs to be said.  Then, go enjoy some girl time away from him.  Maybe if you're not around for a week or so he'll "get it".  I dunno 'tho.  Men can be kinda thick in the head sometimes.

[giramomma]

We have had a very lovely 3-day weekend.

DS got his own set of wheels. It fits him and he is so happy.  Still working on the driving.

DD1 has her first job. I am super excited for her. Close to home, an environment she is comfortable with. And, they are treating her like an employee, not someone they've know since she was 2.

I have a half bushel of apples in my dining room. I made muffins for tomorrow. I'm making pie and one of DD1's favorites for dinner.

We went to a movie, too this weekend.

I got at a good point with some projects that I can pick them up and go/do. Which will be nice as things start to get busy again

If we can sort of weather the short term, I think we'll be ok financially. I''m getting 4% raise, come January. Good interest in the side gig. I'm already almost at capacity.

It is good.

Don't want to go to work tomorrow.

Happy belated birthday, Chiver!

[raeoflyte]

Hugs Daisy. Filters can be overrated.

Good for you for choosing you.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Just dropped off TD’s car at the detailer.  Since the breakfast diner was nearly, we stopped for breakfast since I had been craving biscuits and gravy.  Got my fix, came home and cleaned up the kitchen and stripped the bed to wash the sheets.  Mutts have been fed and walked, so they are good for awhile.

[chiver78]

Sept 4, 2023 13:15:31 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 4, 2023 12:38:17 GMT -5 daisylu said:

And I will pay for Chiefs tickets! 🤣

OMG! Chiefs tickets are expensive now that they're a decent team. I was looking at them because my nephew mentioned wanting to go to a game. 😳

welcome to my world. 😵‍💫

[daisylu]

Sept 4, 2023 13:21:21 GMT -5 busymom said:

Sept 4, 2023 12:47:29 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I am losing my filter.

      Me too.  It's actually rather freeing.  And, it's amazing the look on other people's faces, those who have known me for years, when I express more thoughts that I used to keep to myself.  


       Tell him what needs to be said.  Then, go enjoy some girl time away from him.  Maybe if you're not around for a week or so he'll "get it".  I dunno 'tho.  Men can be kinda thick in the head sometimes.

That is why I am leaning toward a month or 2 away. 😉

[NastyWoman]

Sometimes I really should "listen" to myself. I have said for quite a while now that I will no longer fly unmasked and I haven't. But with Singapore being virtually Covid free I opted not to wear a mask in the airport. I did not pick up Covid (I tested) but I forgot about my tendency to pick up horrible colds when taking long distance flights and now I am paying the price: coughing incessantly and a nose that is like a leaking faucet. Those masks stopped that from happening on my trips to Europe the last two years.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, but lesson learned. A mask will be worn the moment I enter any airport until I exit the airport on the other side of the trip.

Meanwhile I need to go to the store for a few items unmasked risking infecting others since the drippy nose prevents the use of a mask.

[chiver78]

I topped off the water level in the pool, it was half empty when I uncovered it. WTF? turns out that the drain fitting is already corroding from the well water, and there is a drip leak right at the pool connection. mooch is gonna help me fix that the next time he is up. good thing I don't have a water bill...yeesh. although, it wouldn't be a problem on municipal water, so 🤷‍♀️

I just dunked my feet bc it was f'n cold 🥶 and Punk finally took a dip. she got out and looked like she was ready to have the zoomies and chase LD. I don't think I've yelled that loud or harsh since they were puppies. 😬 LD came over and sprawled at my feet, thinking he was in trouble. I hate that for him, and can't wait to let him run again. but especially that - a soaking wet Punk and zoomies around the yard? that's what created your predicament in the first place.

[daisylu]

Sept 4, 2023 13:15:31 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 4, 2023 12:38:17 GMT -5 daisylu said:

And I will pay for Chiefs tickets! 🤣

OMG! Chiefs tickets are expensive now that they're a decent team. I was looking at them because my nephew mentioned wanting to go to a game. 😳

Without the husband and traveling for work, I will have a lot of disposable income. Retirement is set. I plan to live for now. Traveling for work has shown me how much I have missed. I can hop on a plane for next to nothing and see the sites. It is amazing how much my eyes have opened.

[jerseygirl]

daiseylu he isn’t the only oblivious man

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 4, 2023 13:54:36 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 4, 2023 13:15:31 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

OMG! Chiefs tickets are expensive now that they're a decent team. I was looking at them because my nephew mentioned wanting to go to a game. 😳

Without the husband and traveling for work, I will have a lot of disposable income. Retirement is set. I plan to live for now. Traveling for work has shown me how much I have missed. I can hop on a plane for next to nothing and see the sites. It is amazing how much my eyes have opened.

Wait, what do you mean “without the husband”? Have you made a decision?

[Pink Cashmere]

I just finished shampooing my hair. I didn’t want to deal with it, but I didn’t want to keep walking around looking crazy either. The puff I’ve been wearing is t my best look.

I can stop dreading it now, because it’s done.

[daisylu]

Sept 4, 2023 14:21:21 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 4, 2023 13:54:36 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Without the husband and traveling for work, I will have a lot of disposable income. Retirement is set. I plan to live for now. Traveling for work has shown me how much I have missed. I can hop on a plane for next to nothing and see the sites. It is amazing how much my eyes have opened.

Wait, what do you mean “without the husband”? Have you made a decision?

Not quite yet, just starting to look at things in a new light. The current plan is to do me and spend a month or 2 traveling for work and staying away in places that interest me in between. DH sprung on me that maybe we should not stay married, so we will both get a taste of what that looks like. But I think I will enjoy it much more than he will. At that point, it will be up to him to make changes to accommodate me.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Sept 4, 2023 14:35:34 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 4, 2023 14:21:21 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Wait, what do you mean “without the husband”? Have you made a decision?

Not quite yet, just starting to look at things in a new light. The current plan is to do me and spend a month or 2 traveling for work and staying away in places that interest me in between. DH sprung on me that maybe we should not stay married, so we will both get a taste of what that looks like. But I think I will enjoy it much more than he will. At that point, it will be up to him to make changes to accommodate me.

Woah. I’m sorry.

[andi9899]

Sept 4, 2023 13:54:36 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 4, 2023 13:15:31 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

OMG! Chiefs tickets are expensive now that they're a decent team. I was looking at them because my nephew mentioned wanting to go to a game. 😳

Without the husband and traveling for work, I will have a lot of disposable income. Retirement is set. I plan to live for now. Traveling for work has shown me how much I have missed. I can hop on a plane for next to nothing and see the sites. It is amazing how much my eyes have opened.

Same! Whenever work asks me if I want to go somewhere, I usually say yes. Why not travel on the company dime? Add in that no one is depending on me during that time, and it's a no brainer.

[andi9899]

Sept 4, 2023 14:35:34 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 4, 2023 14:21:21 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Wait, what do you mean “without the husband”? Have you made a decision?

Not quite yet, just starting to look at things in a new light. The current plan is to do me and spend a month or 2 traveling for work and staying away in places that interest me in between. DH sprung on me that maybe we should not stay married, so we will both get a taste of what that looks like. But I think I will enjoy it much more than he will. At that point, it will be up to him to make changes to accommodate me.

I'm sorry. If you ever end up in my area, let me know.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 4, 2023 14:35:34 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 4, 2023 14:21:21 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Wait, what do you mean “without the husband”? Have you made a decision?

Not quite yet, just starting to look at things in a new light. The current plan is to do me and spend a month or 2 traveling for work and staying away in places that interest me in between. DH sprung on me that maybe we should not stay married, so we will both get a taste of what that looks like. But I think I will enjoy it much more than he will. At that point, it will be up to him to make changes to accommodate me.

I won’t pester you, I just know how you’ve always said he’s your person, so I’m surprised. Anyway, I support you doing whatever you feel you need to do for you, and if you are upset with him, I am upset with him too lol. Just let me know when/if we aren’t upset with him anymore. In the meantime, I will be rooting for you and him to work it out, unless you tell me to stop because you’ve decided it’s not what you want anymore. 

If your traveling brings you my way, let me know. I’d love to meet you in person!

Take care of yourself, my friend. 

[daisylu]

Sept 4, 2023 15:19:29 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 4, 2023 14:35:34 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Not quite yet, just starting to look at things in a new light. The current plan is to do me and spend a month or 2 traveling for work and staying away in places that interest me in between. DH sprung on me that maybe we should not stay married, so we will both get a taste of what that looks like. But I think I will enjoy it much more than he will. At that point, it will be up to him to make changes to accommodate me.

I won’t pester you, I just know how you’ve always said he’s your person, so I’m surprised. Anyway, I support you doing whatever you feel you need to do for you, and if you are upset with him, I am upset with him too lol. Just let me know when/if we aren’t upset with him anymore. In the meantime, I will be rooting for you and him to work it out, unless you tell me to stop because you’ve decided it’s not what you want anymore. 

If your traveling brings you my way, let me know. I’d love to meet you in person!

Take care of yourself, my friend. 

I appreciate that. He is my person, but totally threw me for a loop with this. I hope things work out, but if not I'll be ok. Not mad at him right now, but he needs to learn a lesson.

I'll be in Tennessee later this month. Dates are up in the air. I'd love to meet up, if schedules allow. Hugs to you, my friend.

[Pink Cashmere]

DS is finally finished with our yard. He took a break earlier for a couple of hours. He insisted on cutting it all with the push mower, because he’s never used a riding mower and didn’t want to break it.

When he first got here early this morning, Mister told him he (Mister) was going to cut the backyard. So that’s where DS started, to keep Mister from doing it.

Then Mrs. T called and asked if DS needed some help. She said he could use their zero turn mower, and Mr. T said that if DS didn’t know how to use one, he’d just come over and do it. I love my neighbors! 

But it seemed to be important to DS for him to do it all himself, his way of doing something for Mister after losing his Dad. I am so proud of him for even thinking like that and wanting to give Mister one less thing to concern himself with right now. He had been asking me what could he do, then decided that was what he was going to do.

Also, tomorrow is DS’s 30th birthday. I can barely believe my baby, my youngest child, is turning 30! I’d already planned to grill ribeye steaks tomorrow, because he really likes steak. Mister asked me what DS likes, so he can order him dinner tonight too.

Mister told me this afternoon that he’s going to have to give his friend, the mentor something to do, because he keeps asking and seems to be wringing his hands over wanting to do something, but not knowing what to do. I told Mister to let him provide dinner for us one evening, since he likes to feed people, even in good times. Mister thought that was a good idea, because his friend had already been asking what we’ve been eating lol.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 4, 2023 15:28:22 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 4, 2023 15:19:29 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I won’t pester you, I just know how you’ve always said he’s your person, so I’m surprised. Anyway, I support you doing whatever you feel you need to do for you, and if you are upset with him, I am upset with him too lol. Just let me know when/if we aren’t upset with him anymore. In the meantime, I will be rooting for you and him to work it out, unless you tell me to stop because you’ve decided it’s not what you want anymore. 

If your traveling brings you my way, let me know. I’d love to meet you in person!

Take care of yourself, my friend. 

I appreciate that. He is my person, but totally threw me for a loop with this. I hope things work out, but if not I'll be ok. Not mad at him right now, but he needs to learn a lesson.

I'll be in Tennessee later this month. Dates are up in the air. I'd love to meet up, if schedules allow. Hugs to you, my friend.

Please do let me know when you get the dates, and what part of TN you’ll be in.

And thank you for the hugs.

[Pink Cashmere]

One of Mister’s childhood friends just came over to see him. They don’t have the same kind of relationship Mister has with his friends I called Saturday, but they do go way back, and this friend became like part of Mister’s family. He knew Mister’s parents very well and came to their dinners and events. I’m really glad he came to see Mister. I am sitting outside, so they can talk freely.