what are you doing right now?

[countrygirl2]

Trying to get DD to drink more water, she even admitted today she was not dizzy when she got up. I've been trying to explain that I think its lack of fluids in her body so she is finally listening. And I too am trying to drink more, it will sure help my digestion I'm sure. Neither of us do well in that respect.

So this is our project now drink more water.  She weighed 120 today and me 147. Also going to talk to the endocrinologist about me stopping ozempic for awhile and see if I can keep the weight off and lowering DD's to .25mg. I'm a bit leery of the negative aspects of the drug. For me part of it is the cost. I thought I was near the donut hole, but apparently not yet.

Otherwise we are fine. We are fine on it, but think its time to try it on my own. Hope my insurance will pick it up again if I need it.

Going to try going to bed, hope it doesn't do like last night. I bought gas relief and took one not long ago, hope it helps. I also have a stiff neck from sleeping crooked on the plane, it still hasn't gotten better.

[finnime]

Good morning, sage and involved invisipeeps, keeping the universe aright. Welcome to Labor Day for all who celebrate. I hope your day provides a holiday from all conflict, and offers you a fabulous dessert.

I'm here in Maine. We'll go home today or tomorrow, depending. It's turned out to be a wonderful weekend shared with close family.

DH is beginning to tease out what he will be able to do and what he won't as his health declines. He talked at length yesterday about missing some things (e.g., fantasy baseball camp) that he'd been intending to get to. Realizing that his time is shorter. It's a lot to absorb. And the money we've been spending on DD to move her is not really "extra".

I'll hit the beach here at dawn again. Here is a shot I took yesterday:

[bean29]

Finnime Thank you for the beautiful picture!
Hopefully you can get your DD settled in an apartment. I have to reconcile DH’s Credit card statements and record the entries in the accounting system. We need a password reset, need us both to be home to do it.

Pink, so sorry for the loss of Mr’s Dad. How are his girl’s doing? I thought it was nice that their mother was willing to go to their college to tell them.

I have lots of weeds. I should pull weeds, but I am going to keep ignoring them for a few weeks. The pre-emergent weed barrier stuff sounds like a good idea too. I just don’t have enough hours in my day.

MPL congrats on getting rid of 4 bags of stuff!

DH and I fooled around with a remote garage door opener thing that is supposed to work with your phone yesterday. We could not get it to connect to our wifi. I need to attempt to relocate the mesh wifi and see if I can get a better connection in the garage. Not today though.

We also bought a tree and 10 small mums and 2 orange Lillie’s. We planted about 1/2 yesterday, so we have work to do this am. Temps in the 90’s expected today.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'm making Chrissy Teigens French toast casserole with salted butter frosted flakes on top.

I made WAY more flakes than needed because that sounds like the best part. 😁

[minnesotapaintlady]

Four straight days of big breakfasts.  Eggs, sausage, french toast...

I am going to struggle tomorrow at work and not eating until noon.

[chiver78]

I've been sitting outside with my coffee and the am news, but I'm about to put the pups in the house and head off to the beach for a couple hours with a book. we were supposed to do that on Saturday, but the breeze on the deck overlooking the marina was just so pretty and we decided to order a 2nd round of cocktails. good times! 

[catsareme]

Good morning all!

Getting ready to go play at the casino.  I suppose since it's a holiday the place will get crowded really fast.

I wish Weltschmerz would rejoin our group.  I miss hearing from her.

[toomuchreality]

Sept 4, 2023 9:28:08 GMT -5 catsareme said:

Good morning all!

Getting ready to go play at the casino.  I suppose since it's a holiday the place will get crowded really fast.

I wish Weltschmerz would rejoin our group.  I miss hearing from her.

Good luck and have fun!

[TheOtherMe]

Getting ready to go for the week in the city where I was born.

When my best friend died, throwing myself in to work and not letting myself think about her during the day, saved me.  I also got the best evaluation of my career when I did that.  

That was all the longer I could hold the grief in.  As soon as I got home, I would lose it.  I was about a year in to living like that when she came to me in a dream and told me she was all right and to get back to my life.  

Probably the most important dream I have ever had.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Sept 4, 2023 6:26:05 GMT -5 bean29 said:

DH and I fooled around with a remote garage door opener thing that is supposed to work with your phone yesterday. We could not get it to connect to our wifi. I need to attempt to relocate the mesh wifi and see if I can get a better connection in the garage. Not today though.

Statements none of us would have made ten years ago. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Sept 4, 2023 9:12:40 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Four straight days of big breakfasts.  Eggs, sausage, french toast...

I am going to struggle tomorrow at work and not eating until noon.

Yeah, way too much food for me this weekend, and I've not even left my house. 
Yesterday morning, I had a Belgian waffle. I love those things. 
I'm skipping breakfast this morning. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I'm drinking my coffee. Then I'll get dressed and go to work. Tomorrow is the first day of school, and I need to finish prepping for it. 
I"m pretty excited. 

[jerseygirl]

Had coffee for first time this morning after 12 days. Surprised I survived!

[NancysSummerSip]

Drinking my iced tea after a bike ride, homemade blueberry muffins, a load of laundry, changing the sheets and getting the dishwasher going, and a little vacuuming.

Lunch will be leftover taco shells, toasted and dipped in salsa and sour cream. Not sure why I am craving this, but it sounds good. Dinner is grilled chicken and corn on the cob and salad.

[Deleted]

Sept 3, 2023 23:40:57 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Trying to get DD to drink more water, she even admitted today she was not dizzy when she got up. I've been trying to explain that I think its lack of fluids in her body so she is finally listening. And I too am trying to drink more, it will sure help my digestion I'm sure. Neither of us do well in that respect.

So this is our project now drink more water.  She weighed 120 today and me 147. Also going to talk to the endocrinologist about me stopping ozempic for awhile and see if I can keep the weight off and lowering DD's to .25mg. I'm a bit leery of the negative aspects of the drug. For me part of it is the cost. I thought I was near the donut hole, but apparently not yet.

Otherwise we are fine. We are fine on it, but think its time to try it on my own. Hope my insurance will pick it up again if I need it.

Going to try going to bed, hope it doesn't do like last night. I bought gas relief and took one not long ago, hope it helps. I also have a stiff neck from sleeping crooked on the plane, it still hasn't gotten better.

You are smart to work on your hydration and your daughter's.  My doctor always reminds me that our skin is the largest organ in our body, and loses a tremendous amount of water even when we aren't conscious of sweating.  He said water is key to everything else our body does, from cellular regeneration to maintaining blood pressure to digestion and elimination.  And DH's dermatologist says people waste literally millions of dollars on skincare products while failing to maintain good skin elasticity and cellular turnover through water consumption.  Even for the folks who say they don't like the taste of water, there are so many flavored waters on the market, some even with carbonation.  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Salted butter frosted flakes need to be a thing. Who do I write to at Kellogg to get these on shelves?

[flamingo]

I’m meeting a friend for lunch in a couple hours. I need to get off the couch and get myself put together soon. Still need to dry my hair and change clothes. I’m so glad it’s a 3 day weekend - I really needed this extra day to relax. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I got one of the worst reviews of my life after my mom died.

I threw myself into work but what I didnt know was my brain had gone into a level of self preservation to where I was on auto pilot. My body was going through the motions but I was making A LOT of mistakes.

I pulled it together and heavily compartmentalized but got too good at that and really delayed processing. I was too scared of getting myself fired to let myself have a moment.

Anti depressants and therapy have helped but something broke internally. Something I cant fully communicate. Outside work my executive functioning is a mess. I get really overwhelmed making even small decisions.

Hopefully with time itll get better.

[Pink Cashmere]

I just dragged out of bed about an hour ago. I’m still sleepy and tired. My sinuses are kicking my butt.

DS is over here cutting the grass so Mister won’t have to do it.

bean29 yesterday Mister said that YD was taking it really hard.

The appointment for the funeral home is tomorrow afternoon. 

[cooper88]

So our power went out for maybe thirty seconds this morning. After it came back up, the internet isn't working. I think our router got fried, even though it's plugged into a surge protector. Sigh.

[chiver78]

nevermind,  I couldn't find a parking spot anywhere, including all my "secret spots" on the side streets.    the beach looked WAY too peopley when I drove by, too. I did the quick run through the grocery store that I'd planned for after the beach (it's on the way home) for the Thai peanut noodles I wanted to make today, and now I'm home. going to run the IP for the pups' chicken, I'm going to swipe some of the shredded meat for my noodles. then we'll head outside and share the pool this afternoon. I'm still off tomorrow, maybe LD will sleep after we drop Punk off for grooming, and I can try for the beach again. 

[daisylu]

Sept 3, 2023 20:39:20 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 3, 2023 19:48:52 GMT -5 giramomma said:

As long as he knows how to put work back in its box after he's used it to escape, mister will end up alright.

That was one of my many issues, after I got done using work as I needed to, I didn't put it back in its box.

I don't regret for a moment the fact that I used work as an escape.

With my mom treating me like she did after Dad died, and then feeling the lump and my cancer unfolding, in the middle of a pandemic where basically I was around my husband and kids 24x7 in 1800 sq feet for a year at that point,

It was nice to be able to laugh with my coworker.

I don't think people are meant to endure that level of stress for a year or two, straight, with no joy, however fleeting.

That was also the year I got all exceptionals on my eval. I literally could not have achieved a higher rating.

I understand that people handle things differently and have different needs when they are going through things in their personal life. 

I think Mister’s job is an escape for him these days, because there, he knows what’s expected of him and how to put out whatever fires pop up, because he knows the rules and how to get his job done and make things happen. He works for the federal government like I do, and when you have nothing else to rely on, it’s guaranteed that there is a rule somewhere for whatever might happen. 

Which is all very different from how he is flying by the seat of his pants IRL and doesn’t know the rules and how to put out the fires that have been popping up in his personal life.

But at the same time, his job has become a source of stress for him too. He doesn’t enjoy it like he use to. And for maybe a year or so now, he has been doing at least 2 different jobs, which is complicated to explain, but it has added to his job being stressful for him. 

His job has also become his excuse for why he can’t handle business like making appointments with attorneys and such. His peers and boss know he has a strong work ethic and have a lot of respect for him. Giving advance notice that he needs an afternoon off, or even a whole day, won’t cause any eyes to blink, and he can do that, to handle his personal business. He doesn’t take time off work, he’s just now learning how to take his whole scheduled vacation time off work.

Mister has enough leave that he could be off work for some months and still get a paycheck. His boss believes in family and taking care of mental health, and he takes off work when he needs to, and tells Mister beforehand. He encourages Mister to take care of himself too. But Mister is the kind of person that is going to go to work, even if he has to carry his head in his hands. I appreciate his work ethic, and I understand that work has become an escape for him, but because it’s also stressful to him now, with all the other shit going on in his life right now, I think he needs to find some kind of balance. 

But that’s just me and how I think. 

He is good at what he does, but the reality is that his employer is going to keep it moving if Mister drops dead tomorrow. Heaven forbid that happens tomorrow, or for the next few decades, because I’m selfish enough to say I need him to be okay for many, many, more years. I’m just saying what I’m saying about the imbalance of work and personal life.

This is totally me. My kids are grown and work is my escape. It is where I excel above and beyond all expectations. Home life is much harder. I'm not good with emotions, other than anger, so I choose things that are cut and dry.

[daisylu]

Ok, so my homecoming from Kansas started off ok with a nice grilled meal. And then the shoe dropped, over music of all things - mostly because I always just go with what he wants because it is not that big a deal to me, but he does not try to do the same for me. Turned into DH saying he's not sure we should stay married. WTF. First sign of any of this. In his mind he ALLOWS so much from me that he doesn't fight, which is kind of accurate, but he refuses to admit that I do the same. I thought me traveling more would ease up on some of the issues, but not enough - mostly because I am still taking care of making sure that he has essentials that he will need while I am gone. For example, I went the grocery store to get stuff for his lunch last weekend, even though I wasn't go be here to need anything. I make sure that he has his meds and food before I go anywhere. I'm the one who has his nose flush on auto delivery so that he dies not run out. These are things that he could easily do, but relies on me for. I think my next trip may last a month or 2 by choice.

My work travel is so much more now that I could just stay in hotels in between. I could be at the ocean instead of dealing with his mid life crisis, which I am about to do.

And DH is showing signs of gallstones, but won't listen to me about it. So I'm saying fuck it let him deal with it on his own, maybe he will learn a lesson. Hence my post of about to not care anything but myself. I think I am there now. There is a likelihood that if I leave this house I will never come back, which he has now acknowledged. There is some hope. When he got out of bed I got up and emptied a dresser drawer to go through. He entered the bedroom and saw the clothes on the bed, and you could see the look of horror on his face when he asked what I was doing. It was obvious that he thought that I was packing.

And I'm listening to George Strait 50 number ones, wondering how the hell this Baltimore girl's life turned into a God damn country song.

ETA - Wrote all of this just after I but venison jerky in the dehydrator. I'm stuck between 2 different worlds, both I enjoy but DH doesn't even try. Texted a friend and think we will take off for Ocean City MD next weekend for a break. I'm sure DH will not like it, but I'm betting giving a fuck right now. I'm doing me right now. I'm better than settling for what he is willing to give. I need to get back to me, and if that means burning everthing to the ground, I think I'm ready.

[NancysSummerSip]

Sept 4, 2023 11:38:47 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Ok, so my homecoming from Kansas started off ok with a nice grilled meal. And then the shoe dropped, over music of all things - mostly because I always just go with what he wants because it is not that big a deal to me, but he does not try to do the same for me. Turned into DH saying he's not sure we should stay married. WTF. First sign of any of this. In his mind he ALLOWS so much from me that he doesn't fight, which is kind of accurate, but he refuses to admit that I do the same. I thought me traveling more would ease up on some of the issues, but not enough - mostly because I am still taking care of making sure that he has essentials that he will need while I am gone. For example, I went the grocery store to get stuff for his lunch last weekend, even though I wasn't go be here to need anything. I make sure that he has his meds and food before I go anywhere. I'm the one who has his nose flush on auto delivery so that he dies not run out. These are things that he could easily do, but relies on me for. I think my next trip may last a month or 2 by choice.

My work travel is so much more now that I could just stay in hotels in between. I could be at the ocean instead of dealing with his mid life crisis, which I am about to do.

And DH is showing signs of gallstones, but won't listen to me about it. So I'm saying fuck it let him deal with it on his own, maybe he will learn a lesson. Hence my post of about to not care anything but myself. I think I am there now. There is a likelihood that if I leave this house I will never come back, which he has now acknowledged. There is some hope. When he got out of bed I got up and emptied a dresser drawer to go through. He entered the bedroom and saw the clothes on the bed, and you could see the look of horror on his face when he asked what I was doing. It was obvious that he thought that I was packing.

And I'm listening to George Strait 50 number ones, wondering how the hell this Baltimore girl's life turned into a country song.

Hell to the absolutely yes!

Your DH is a grown man. Unless there is some mental issue, he needs to wise up and deal with his own stuff. You're not his mother or servant. Let him deal with the consequences of his actions - or inactions.

[ners]

daisylu  

[andi9899]

I found some really nice townhouses that I want to look at. I'd have to take the twins out on leashes instead of letting them loose in a fenced in backyard, but it would be worth it.

www.plazaeastkc.com/availableunits.aspx?myOlePropertyId=1414681&MoveInDate=&t=0.38850433905462944&floorPlans=4084043

The price is right and it's in a much better neighborhood. I'd have everything mailed to my parents house, so on paper I'd live in KS. That way I don't have to retitle my car and switch my driver's/insurance licenses. Tomorrow I'm scheduling a tour and may pull the trigger on everything. Fingers crossed!

[countrygirl2]

The problem with getting her to drink more liquids is she is wetting more. Her pants and bed pad were soaked this morning. Thankfully with those and the waterproof mattress pad did not drench the bed. I ordered her disposable heavy pads for the top of the bed too and waterproof pants to put over the disposable ones.  It's like its running straight through. She takes myrbetriq to help, can't see it does. I'm thankful I have a washer and dryer or this would be tough.

Seems like I treat one problem and another emerges.

[steph08]

Hugs daisylu, I know exactly what you are dealing with.

I take care of everything in my household while DH blissfully carries on with life. He had to call me last month when I was out late to ask how to run the washing machine. 

So ya, I get it.

[Pink Cashmere]

Daisylu 

I hope you 2 can get things back on track, soon. 

[daisylu]

Sept 4, 2023 11:50:24 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Sept 4, 2023 11:38:47 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Ok, so my homecoming from Kansas started off ok with a nice grilled meal. And then the shoe dropped, over music of all things - mostly because I always just go with what he wants because it is not that big a deal to me, but he does not try to do the same for me. Turned into DH saying he's not sure we should stay married. WTF. First sign of any of this. In his mind he ALLOWS so much from me that he doesn't fight, which is kind of accurate, but he refuses to admit that I do the same. I thought me traveling more would ease up on some of the issues, but not enough - mostly because I am still taking care of making sure that he has essentials that he will need while I am gone. For example, I went the grocery store to get stuff for his lunch last weekend, even though I wasn't go be here to need anything. I make sure that he has his meds and food before I go anywhere. I'm the one who has his nose flush on auto delivery so that he dies not run out. These are things that he could easily do, but relies on me for. I think my next trip may last a month or 2 by choice.

My work travel is so much more now that I could just stay in hotels in between. I could be at the ocean instead of dealing with his mid life crisis, which I am about to do.

And DH is showing signs of gallstones, but won't listen to me about it. So I'm saying fuck it let him deal with it on his own, maybe he will learn a lesson. Hence my post of about to not care anything but myself. I think I am there now. There is a likelihood that if I leave this house I will never come back, which he has now acknowledged. There is some hope. When he got out of bed I got up and emptied a dresser drawer to go through. He entered the bedroom and saw the clothes on the bed, and you could see the look of horror on his face when he asked what I was doing. It was obvious that he thought that I was packing.

And I'm listening to George Strait 50 number ones, wondering how the hell this Baltimore girl's life turned into a country song.

Hell to the absolutely yes!

Your DH is a grown man. Unless there is some mental issue, he needs to wise up and deal with his own stuff. You're not his mother or servant. Let him deal with the consequences of his actions - or inactions.

Thank you! That's my point.