what are you doing right now?

[notagain]

Happy birthday chiver!

[countrygirl2]

I cleaned flower beds again, 2 more wagons of weeds, what a mess, that is 5 so far. 

I'm having hubs take out the round one in back, I'm tired of fighting the animals. And it never holds water enough, always too dry. So I'm done fighting it. I've planted  and planted back there and the animals  just keep digging it all up. Got all cleaned around the lawn shed, than cleaned all the grape and blackberries and underneath. Than trimmed them back. 

I still have the rest of the front and my roses down the fence line to do, and the circular bed in front that is mostly mums. The back half is lilies, that is where the weeds are. So hoping maybe tomorrow will finish it, but I'm guessing maybe 4 or 5 hours??

Then I have to help hubs finish cleaning at the house, mopping and things. The front door needs another coat of paint on it on the inside. Also need to caulk here and there for blemishes.

I'm just tired, hope we sell that house quickly, just want it gone, I do not want to deal with anymore renters.

[Ava]

Happy birthday, Chiver

[Ava]

Pink Cashmere

I'm so sorry for the death of Mr. Messy.
It all seems so sudden. Good that Mr. has you to be by his side during these difficult days.

I can't even imagine going through the loss of both parents in a few months' time.

[Deleted]

countrygirl2  If you are fighting weeds that come from seed, I highly recommend using Barricade, a granular weed preventer.  It will not kill existing weeds, but prevents new weed seeds from sprouting.  Of course, that also means you can't plant flowers from seed in those beds but it sounds like you are mostly planting plants, not seeds.  Broadcast on the beds and watered in to activate, Barricade is effective for about 3 months.  Obviously, if the weeds are spreading by runners from the adjacent lawn area, Barricade won't help.

[Ava]

It's been a very quiet Labor Day weekend for me.
I prefer to have things to do and places to go.
It's my fault because I didn't plan anything and didn't contact anyone to see if they were doing something fun.

Yesterday I did nothing. Sleep, read, browse the internet.
Today I got together with someone I met in Meetup. She lives close and we got together for breakfast.
After that I went to the park. The lake is still open for swimming. I love the water so I was in the lake or an hour.
Then I got out and sat at one of the picnic table for another hour, reading my book from the library.
The weather is gorgeous right now and I want to be out in the fresh air as much as possible.

Tomorrow I have to get up early and clean the house because it's a mess. The constant battle of cleaning and keeping the house neat and organized, sigh.
And I want to do it in the am because I plan to go to the park again early afternoon. It will be another gorgeous day and I plan to be in the water for at least one hour.

[daisylu]

Sept 3, 2023 15:37:08 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 3, 2023 15:18:32 GMT -5 daisylu said:

What is on your bed? I can't sleep with anything on my bed.

I sleep with two dogs on my bed.

Macy almost scalped me today. I laid next to her on the couch. At some point she decided to get off the couch and took my ponytail with her. I was hanging onto it, but she got the op half of me off the couch trying to get to the ground.

Kids and animals are different, I don't think MPL has either sleeping in her bed.

[chiver78]

Sept 3, 2023 17:46:14 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

countrygirl2   If you are fighting weeds that come from seed, I highly recommend using Barricade, a granular weed preventer.  It will not kill existing weeds, but prevents new weed seeds from sprouting.  Of course, that also means you can't plant flowers from seed in those beds but it sounds like you are mostly planting plants, not seeds.  Broadcast on the beds and watered in to activate, Barricade is effective for about 3 months.  Obviously, if the weeds are spreading by runners from the adjacent lawn area, Barricade won't help.

I need to look at this. the tall stuff I need to pull (tomorrow.....I did a whole lot of relaxing today, after swapping out the new router I got 3w ago. lol... ) comes from flyaways from other plants outside my fence. milkweed, mostly. would that work on this sort of thing? 

[susana1954]

I'm still working on getting settled into the new house.  They had a bbq today that I went to.  I try to do some of the activities so that I can get to know people besides my immediate neighbors.  I am really happy here.

I needed a piece for the foyer area and found a pretty blue credenza on FB.  The seller even delivered it for an extra $25.  Not only do I love the color and storage, I love the piece of glass on top.  Painted furniture can scratch easily.  I had glass made for the two nightstands I did so I know how pricey that can be.  But it is worth it because the tops stay nice.  

I don't have a lot of visitors so I will post pictures for you guys to "see."  

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 3, 2023 17:44:39 GMT -5 Ava said:

Pink Cashmere

I'm so sorry for the death of Mr. Messy.
It all seems so sudden. Good that Mr. has you to be by his side during these difficult days.

I can't even imagine going through the loss of both parents in a few months' time.

Thank you.

I can’t imagine it either.

It does seem sudden, but he’s been saying for months that he wanted to die. I don’t understand that, especially since I have children and grandchildren that I want to enjoy spending time with for as long as I can. But that’s just me, and I know life with Mister’s Mom was all Mister’s Dad knew, for most of his life. They got married in their late teens.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 3, 2023 18:10:01 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

I'm still working on getting settled into the new house.  They had a bbq today that I went to.  I try to do some of the activities so that I can get to know people besides my immediate neighbors.  I am really happy here.

I needed a piece for the foyer area and found a pretty blue credenza on FB.  The seller even delivered it for an extra $25.  Not only do I love the color and storage, I love the piece of glass on top.  Painted furniture can scratch easily.  I had glass made for the two nightstands I did so I know how pricey that can be.  But it is worth it because the tops stay nice.  

I don't have a lot of visitors so I will post pictures for you guys to "see."  

That’s a lovely piece! I’m here for all the pictures you are willing to share. I love that kind of thing.

I am so glad for you that you are happy in your new home.

[Pink Cashmere]

I know this is a bad time for me to be difficult, but I am really kind of irritated with Mister. I’m not going to make a fuss, given the circumstances, with him just losing his Dad, but Imma still feel how I feel.

Everything is on hold because of the holiday. With his Mom, we had to make an appointment to talk to the folks at the funeral home to make arrangements, and our appointment was for several days after she died. I imagine this time it might be even longer.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Mister tries to go to work after the holiday. He tried to go back to work a few days after his Mom passed, and his mentor and even his boss told him to sit his ass down somewhere and forget about work. He went back to work Thursday afternoon, after the first time we went to see his Dad that day, and even he admits he was useless when he went back, and couldn’t even remember what he went back to take care of. 

He doesn’t listen to me, and I think work has become a sort of escape for him, so if he says he’s going back Tuesday, I’m probably going to look at him crazy, but I’m not going to say a word. 

[Deleted]

susana1954  I am happy that you are truly enjoying your new home and embracing the opportunities to make new friends in the community.  And your new hall piece is gorgeous - I love the color with the walls and that rug.

[Deleted]

Sept 3, 2023 18:08:01 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Sept 3, 2023 17:46:14 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

countrygirl2   If you are fighting weeds that come from seed, I highly recommend using Barricade, a granular weed preventer.  It will not kill existing weeds, but prevents new weed seeds from sprouting.  Of course, that also means you can't plant flowers from seed in those beds but it sounds like you are mostly planting plants, not seeds.  Broadcast on the beds and watered in to activate, Barricade is effective for about 3 months.  Obviously, if the weeds are spreading by runners from the adjacent lawn area, Barricade won't help.

I need to look at this. the tall stuff I need to pull (tomorrow.....I did a whole lot of relaxing today, after swapping out the new router I got 3w ago. lol... ) comes from flyaways from other plants outside my fence. milkweed, mostly. would that work on this sort of thing? 

If the weeds are sprouting from seeds - yes, it will help because Barricade prevents seeds from sprouting.  We apply it 4 times a year because of our extended growing season (winter weeds are awful here).  DH uses a hand-held spreader to apply it to the beds.  It may not stop 100% of the weeds, but I'll take an 80% reduction any day of the week.  Our weed seeds come on the wind, in flood waters, and in bird poop so it's an ongoing battle.

[Opti]

Sept 3, 2023 18:37:21 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I know this is a bad time for me to be difficult, but I am really kind of irritated with Mister. I’m not going to make a fuss, given the circumstances, with him just losing his Dad, but Imma still feel how I feel.

Everything is on hold because of the holiday. With his Mom, we had to make an appointment to talk to the folks at the funeral home to make arrangements, and our appointment was for several days after she died. I imagine this time it might be even longer.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Mister tries to go to work after the holiday. He tried to go back to work a few days after his Mom passed, and his mentor and even his boss told him to sit his ass down somewhere and forget about work. He went back to work Thursday afternoon, after the first time we went to see his Dad that day, and even he admits he was useless when he went back, and couldn’t even remember what he went back to take care of. 

He doesn’t listen to me, and I think work has become a sort of escape for him, so if he says he’s going back Tuesday, I’m probably going to look at him crazy, but I’m not going to say a word. 

I hope he decides to stay home at least a few days. With this happening so fast, he needs time to process it along with all the necessary stuff. Lots of chaos for you both, I hope it starts getting better.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 3, 2023 15:18:32 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 3, 2023 14:03:04 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I told myself with all this kid free time-off I would get at least one thing done each day.  So far today I've accomplished nothing except finish the last season of Suits.  That counts right?     I did get multiple things done yesterday and it's hotter than hell outside.

Ok, fine.  I'm going to go work on the disaster that is my room.  If I can get the bed cleared off that will be pretty big. 

What is on your bed? I can't sleep with anything on my bed.

Mounds of laundry.  It was only on the "guest side" of the bed.   

It is gone now.  We'll see how long it lasts.

[giramomma]

Sept 3, 2023 18:37:21 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

He doesn’t listen to me, and I think work has become a sort of escape for him, so if he says he’s going back Tuesday, I’m probably going to look at him crazy, but I’m not going to say a word. 

As long as he knows how to put work back in its box after he's used it to escape, mister will end up alright.

That was one of my many issues, after I got done using work as I needed to, I didn't put it back in its box.

I don't regret for a moment the fact that I used work as an escape.

With my mom treating me like she did after Dad died, and then feeling the lump and my cancer unfolding, in the middle of a pandemic where basically I was around my husband and kids 24x7 in 1800 sq feet for a year at that point,

It was nice to be able to laugh with my coworker.

I don't think people are meant to endure that level of stress for a year or two, straight, with no joy, however fleeting.

That was also the year I got all exceptionals on my eval. I literally could not have achieved a higher rating.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Dinner was really good. I used Google translate to beg for the rice recipe. They said they'd make a video so I can copy.

I think Gwen ate even more than I did.

Abby didn't like much but she was very polite we stressed to her beforehand that we weren't going to make her eat everything but she needed to acknowledge what she is offered.

Don't know why they surprised me. Guess I see so many out of control kids around me I sometimes forget I've worked really hard to make sure my kids aren't like that.


It gives me some hope for the future.

[minnesotapaintlady]

While clearing the bed, I also threw a bunch of crap away and bagged up four 13 gallon garbage bags of clothes to go to Goodwill.  It barely scratched the surface, but it's a start. 

[countrygirl2]

Just finished watching "Hidden Figures" about the black ladies that did all the pioneering work for NASA. What a shame we are just now hearing about this. Should have been known years ago.

[raeoflyte]

I finished the 2 week schedule of who is getting where - when and how for the weeks I presumably can't drive. I have 14 holes to fill and just over that of assumptions I need to confirm will work. I guess it should validate why I feel so scattered all the time.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 3, 2023 19:48:52 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Sept 3, 2023 18:37:21 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

He doesn’t listen to me, and I think work has become a sort of escape for him, so if he says he’s going back Tuesday, I’m probably going to look at him crazy, but I’m not going to say a word. 

As long as he knows how to put work back in its box after he's used it to escape, mister will end up alright.

That was one of my many issues, after I got done using work as I needed to, I didn't put it back in its box.

I don't regret for a moment the fact that I used work as an escape.

With my mom treating me like she did after Dad died, and then feeling the lump and my cancer unfolding, in the middle of a pandemic where basically I was around my husband and kids 24x7 in 1800 sq feet for a year at that point,

It was nice to be able to laugh with my coworker.

I don't think people are meant to endure that level of stress for a year or two, straight, with no joy, however fleeting.

That was also the year I got all exceptionals on my eval. I literally could not have achieved a higher rating.

I understand that people handle things differently and have different needs when they are going through things in their personal life. 

I think Mister’s job is an escape for him these days, because there, he knows what’s expected of him and how to put out whatever fires pop up, because he knows the rules and how to get his job done and make things happen. He works for the federal government like I do, and when you have nothing else to rely on, it’s guaranteed that there is a rule somewhere for whatever might happen. 

Which is all very different from how he is flying by the seat of his pants IRL and doesn’t know the rules and how to put out the fires that have been popping up in his personal life.

But at the same time, his job has become a source of stress for him too. He doesn’t enjoy it like he use to. And for maybe a year or so now, he has been doing at least 2 different jobs, which is complicated to explain, but it has added to his job being stressful for him. 

His job has also become his excuse for why he can’t handle business like making appointments with attorneys and such. His peers and boss know he has a strong work ethic and have a lot of respect for him. Giving advance notice that he needs an afternoon off, or even a whole day, won’t cause any eyes to blink, and he can do that, to handle his personal business. He doesn’t take time off work, he’s just now learning how to take his whole scheduled vacation time off work.

Mister has enough leave that he could be off work for some months and still get a paycheck. His boss believes in family and taking care of mental health, and he takes off work when he needs to, and tells Mister beforehand. He encourages Mister to take care of himself too. But Mister is the kind of person that is going to go to work, even if he has to carry his head in his hands. I appreciate his work ethic, and I understand that work has become an escape for him, but because it’s also stressful to him now, with all the other shit going on in his life right now, I think he needs to find some kind of balance. 

But that’s just me and how I think. 

He is good at what he does, but the reality is that his employer is going to keep it moving if Mister drops dead tomorrow. Heaven forbid that happens tomorrow, or for the next few decades, because I’m selfish enough to say I need him to be okay for many, many, more years. I’m just saying what I’m saying about the imbalance of work and personal life.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 3, 2023 20:08:47 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

While clearing the bed, I also threw a bunch of crap away and bagged up four 13 gallon garbage bags of clothes to go to Goodwill.  It barely scratched the surface, but it's a start. 

Yayyyyy! 4 bags is not a small thing. You did better than good.

A journey of a thousand miles, starts with one step. 

[Deleted]

Sept 3, 2023 20:39:20 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 3, 2023 19:48:52 GMT -5 giramomma said:

As long as he knows how to put work back in its box after he's used it to escape, mister will end up alright.

That was one of my many issues, after I got done using work as I needed to, I didn't put it back in its box.

I don't regret for a moment the fact that I used work as an escape.

With my mom treating me like she did after Dad died, and then feeling the lump and my cancer unfolding, in the middle of a pandemic where basically I was around my husband and kids 24x7 in 1800 sq feet for a year at that point,

It was nice to be able to laugh with my coworker.

I don't think people are meant to endure that level of stress for a year or two, straight, with no joy, however fleeting.

That was also the year I got all exceptionals on my eval. I literally could not have achieved a higher rating.

I understand that people handle things differently and have different needs when they are going through things in their personal life. 

I think Mister’s job is an escape for him these days, because there, he knows what’s expected of him and how to put out whatever fires pop up, because he knows the rules and how to get his job done and make things happen. He works for the federal government like I do, and when you have nothing else to rely on, it’s guaranteed that there is a rule somewhere for whatever might happen. 

Which is all very different from how he is flying by the seat of his pants IRL and doesn’t know the rules and how to put out the fires that have been popping up in his personal life.

But at the same time, his job has become a source of stress for him too. He doesn’t enjoy it like he use to. And for maybe a year or so now, he has been doing at least 2 different jobs, which is complicated to explain, but it has added to his job being stressful for him. 

His job has also become his excuse for why he can’t handle business like making appointments with attorneys and such. His peers and boss know he has a strong work ethic and have a lot of respect for him. Giving advance notice that he needs an afternoon off, or even a whole day, won’t cause any eyes to blink, and he can do that, to handle his personal business. He doesn’t take time off work, he’s just now learning how to take his whole scheduled vacation time off work.

Mister has enough leave that he could be off work for some months and still get a paycheck. His boss believes in family and taking care of mental health, and he takes off work when he needs to, and tells Mister beforehand. He encourages Mister to take care of himself too. But Mister is the kind of person that is going to go to work, even if he has to carry his head in his hands. I appreciate his work ethic, and I understand that work has become an escape for him, but because it’s also stressful to him now, with all the other shit going on in his life right now, I think he needs to find some kind of balance. 

But that’s just me and how I think. 

He is good at what he does, but the reality is that his employer is going to keep it moving if Mister drops dead tomorrow. Heaven forbid that happens tomorrow, or for the next few decades, because I’m selfish enough to say I need him to be okay for many, many, more years. I’m just saying what I’m saying about the imbalance of work and personal life.

Finding that balance is one of the hardest, yet most important, things we will ever do.

[countrygirl2]

The only reason I have the weed apocalypse is because hubs did NO weeding in my landscaping for the 2 months I was gone. It sure developed into a mess. I'm beating it down and won't be like that again till next summer would be my guess. I'm digging my way out slowly.

[busymom]

Pink Cashmere, first of all I wanted to express my sympathy on the loss of Mister's Dad.  I know it's hard, but try not to be angry if Mister buries himself in his job while he deals with his loss.  Frankly, that's how my own DH deals with things when trouble hits hard.  Hang in there!  

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 3, 2023 20:46:24 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Sept 3, 2023 20:39:20 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I understand that people handle things differently and have different needs when they are going through things in their personal life. 

I think Mister’s job is an escape for him these days, because there, he knows what’s expected of him and how to put out whatever fires pop up, because he knows the rules and how to get his job done and make things happen. He works for the federal government like I do, and when you have nothing else to rely on, it’s guaranteed that there is a rule somewhere for whatever might happen. 

Which is all very different from how he is flying by the seat of his pants IRL and doesn’t know the rules and how to put out the fires that have been popping up in his personal life.

But at the same time, his job has become a source of stress for him too. He doesn’t enjoy it like he use to. And for maybe a year or so now, he has been doing at least 2 different jobs, which is complicated to explain, but it has added to his job being stressful for him. 

His job has also become his excuse for why he can’t handle business like making appointments with attorneys and such. His peers and boss know he has a strong work ethic and have a lot of respect for him. Giving advance notice that he needs an afternoon off, or even a whole day, won’t cause any eyes to blink, and he can do that, to handle his personal business. He doesn’t take time off work, he’s just now learning how to take his whole scheduled vacation time off work.

Mister has enough leave that he could be off work for some months and still get a paycheck. His boss believes in family and taking care of mental health, and he takes off work when he needs to, and tells Mister beforehand. He encourages Mister to take care of himself too. But Mister is the kind of person that is going to go to work, even if he has to carry his head in his hands. I appreciate his work ethic, and I understand that work has become an escape for him, but because it’s also stressful to him now, with all the other shit going on in his life right now, I think he needs to find some kind of balance. 

But that’s just me and how I think. 

He is good at what he does, but the reality is that his employer is going to keep it moving if Mister drops dead tomorrow. Heaven forbid that happens tomorrow, or for the next few decades, because I’m selfish enough to say I need him to be okay for many, many, more years. I’m just saying what I’m saying about the imbalance of work and personal life.

Finding that balance is one of the hardest, yet most important, things we will ever do.

Maybe I’m just a bad employee, but it got easier for me over the years, after I missed so much while I was raising my children as a single parent. I worked evenings and weekends, and most holidays, and my children missed out on a lot of stuff growing up, because of my work schedule. I also missed out on a lot of stuff with them, that parents with “normal” work schedules got to do with their children. 

I need my job and I’m grateful for how it paid enough for me to provide a comfortable lifestyle to raise my children, but the way it’s been made clear by upper management for years, that I get paid to do and not think, and how I’m easily replaceable, has made it easy for me to always choose me and mine over the job when I really needed to. 

It started in my early years, when I felt like any job that tried to make me choose between taking care of my child(ren) when one or both was really sick and needed me, wasn’t the job for me, because I was ALWAYS going to choose my children over anything else in my life, including a job. 

After 2 or 3 years working there, I got called into the “principal’s” office for calling in sick for the first time. My Grandmother kept my children for me at that time, while I was working, and I felt like it was my responsibility to care for them when they were sick with something contagious, rather than expose her to their germs, so I stayed home to care for my child. I was offended, because I knew what my coworkers’ attendance was like, so I was defiant and said if me or my children got sick the very next day, I was gon call in sick again, so now what.

The next day, when I got to work, I was told to forget about the conversation the day before. 

[toomuchreality]

Sept 3, 2023 9:51:12 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I'm relaxing on the deck with coffee, the Sunday newspaper, and some crossword puzzles. I'll be in the backyard, doing some weeding this afternoon with the US Open airing on the tv in the tiki bar. I slept for a good 11h last night, waking up just once. yesterday was a fun-filled day that started with my alarm at 4am. that's way too early for having called it at almost midnight the night before, but so worth it. my friend K came down with a travelling nurse friend of hers. we did dinner Friday night, waking up early to grab a huge beach blanket and a chilled bottle of prosecco for the three of us to take in sunrise for my birthday tradition yesterday morning. then brunch, mini golf, and cocktails on the patio overlooking the marina before coming home to 'rescue' the pups and hang out here with a couple more cocktails and snacks, and just fun relaxing and talking. when K started yawning, they packed up and headed out for the ~1h drive back downtown. I was in bed around 8 last night lol... here's to 45. 

Happy birthday, Chiver!

[giramomma]

Sept 3, 2023 22:01:52 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I need my job and I’m grateful for how it paid enough for me to provide a comfortable lifestyle to raise my children, but the way it’s been made clear by upper management for years, that I get paid to do and not think, and how I’m easily replaceable, has made it easy for me to always choose me and mine over the job when I really needed to. 

See, and while all that was going on, I was actually paid to think. Leadership thanked me for being a "thought leader."

My work was held up as one of the exemplary models when there were presentations made to top leadership all across my workplace.

It was great while it lasted. I am actually capable of doing things, if folks would only give me a chance.

I am also fortunate that balance was really promoted. Unfortunately, all those folks are gone, either passed away or retired.

Folks also know I am not easily replaceable. I do too much in the day to day, and I know to much.

No one cares about eachother anymore. Which is really too bad.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 3, 2023 21:22:43 GMT -5 busymom said:

Pink Cashmere , first of all I wanted to express my sympathy on the loss of Mister's Dad.  I know it's hard, but try not to be angry if Mister buries himself in his job while he deals with his loss.  Frankly, that's how my own DH deals with things when trouble hits hard.  Hang in there!  

One of the things I am currently working on, for my own well being, is learning (again!) to let people be who they are. It’s not my job to try to change or control another adult, I can only do those things for me. My responsibility is to be honest with myself about who other adults are, and go from there with how I deal with them or don’t.

I don’t get angry with Mister about him burying himself in his job, but to be honest, I do get frustrated about how he has started using his job as an excuse to not handle business. He really needs legal advice and representation on several things, and his excuse for not consulting with and hiring attorneys, is his work hours. I do think that is just an excuse, and I have gotten frustrated with it. 

Other than that, if his work is an escape for him, which I don’t think it is as much as he would like to pretend, because it’s really another source of stress for him lately, have at it, if that’s what he thinks is best for him. He doesn’t listen to me anyway, so he can go to work Tuesday and I won’t say anything. His mentor and his boss might say wtf and tell him to take his ass home, he will listen to them if they do.

His mentor has become a very good friend to him, and he knows that Mister has not been okay for some time now. And he doesn’t beat around the bush, and will tell Mister to sit his ass down somewhere, in ways I can’t say here, because it might be funny, but it’s gon involve some cuss words. But he cusses with love lol.