what are you doing right now?

[raeoflyte]

I still have a job, but changes are coming. I will likely be self employed/contract employee very, very soon. My boss asked me to look at insurance options with dh's job.

The good news is my boss/team want to keep working with me. Dh was already upping his hours at work and as a contractor/self employed there's absolutely no guilt about my 2nd job, and I had already moved up my surgery to next month.

It's amazing how shocking something can be even when you've known its coming.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Dear sweet mother of God Wednesday Night dance class is a nut house.

My left eyeball starts twitching as soon as I enter the lobby.

[giramomma]

Aug 30, 2023 18:43:58 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I still have a job, but changes are coming. I will likely be self employed/contract employee very, very soon. My boss asked me to look at insurance options with dh's job.

The good news is my boss/team want to keep working with me. Dh was already upping his hours at work and as a contractor/self employed there's absolutely no guilt about my 2nd job, and I had already moved up my surgery to next month.

It's amazing how shocking something can be even when you've known its coming.

Yeah. I'm sorry that's happening to you.

[giramomma]

DD1 and I went out for dinner.

I almost told her I am so fat. Happy and fat.

LOL.

[Pink Cashmere]

Mr. Messy is home from the hospital again. Idk any details about what’s really going on with him and Mister doesn’t seem to really want to talk about it, so I don’t pester him with questions.

Brother text him today though and said since Mister has POA, he *needs* Mister to put himself on their Dad’s 401k or whatever retirement account he has. Brother said he’d do it himself, but Mister is the one that has POA. Ummmm….. what?! Why does Brother “need” Mister to do anything concerning their Dad’s money. And when did Brother decide to start handling concerning their parents, when he still has not done anything Mister has asked him to do? Boy, BYE! 

And that’s me saying that, not Mister.

I’m not even sure Mister’s POA would stand in court, which is one of the reasons I keep advising him to get an attorney.

I’m not sure what prompted Brother to text Mister like he was calling the shots and can tell Mister what he needs to do. TF?!

Anyway, in other news, this coming weekend is a holiday weekend, and also happens to be the weekend Mister will have Kiddo and his Dad, if his Dad is able to come over. My son’s birthday is next week too. I’ve been thinking about having a BBQ this weekend for our family, kind of like an end of summer blast, and celebrate DS’s birthday. Mister is okay with it, he’s leaving it up to me to decide whether we do it or not.

I know it’s short notice, but a BBQ for our families is one of the things we actually have been able to make happen at the last minute. It doesn’t have to be fancy, grilled ribs, hot dogs and hamburgers are cool, and I seem to have been tasked with smoking pork butts after my first try was a success. Coleslaw (Mister or DD can make that), baked beans (Mister makes good baked beans), spaghetti if Mister feels like making it, and greens, which Mister said he’s ok with cooking. And I can do some other green stuff if we buy it. My broccoli on the grill has been a hit. Plus whatever random items I might put on the grill if it’s smoking good. But not chicken wings this time. I’ve always included chicken wings in the past, when I grill, but they cost too much these days. I might still have a package or 2 in the deep freezer from when I caught a good sale around the 4th of July, I can grill whatever is out in the deep freezer, but I’m not buying any at regular price to grill this weekend.

In the past, Mister’s parents always had dinners on holidays. I am okay with Mister and I trying to find our groove to carry on that tradition. With some exceptions, because a few people that were welcome at his parents’ home, are not welcome at mine. Favorite niece is working her way onto that short list, because she can’t come over here with an attitude toward Mister and bring negative energy into my home. Her Mom (Mr. Messy’s older sister) is welcome, her daughter is welcome. I am willing to try it with her, but if she acts any kind of negative way toward Mister, I will insist that she leave our home. Immediately. And I may or may not be nice about it. I show grace for our children and our parents, as much as I can. Anybody else….. don’t come in my home if you feel some type of negative way about me OR Mister, because I am very serious about protecting myself and Mister from negative energy and evil spirits from random people, including family members, in my home.

Our children, my grandchildren, and our parents are the only ones I’m willing to deal with as far as all that negative shit goes. And even with that, my folks know where I stand, and my boundaries on protecting my peace in my home. My Mom, who likes to try to buck the system, knows not to go too far testing me when she is at my home, because I will take her right back to where I got her from if she starts driving me crazy.

I do think it might be interesting to have her and Mr. Messy at our house at the same time. If they both show their true colors, they will NOT get along. They are both selfish, and problematic, but I don’t see Mr. Messy being able to go toe to toe with my Mom in a war of words. They both have smart mouths, but my Mom is more slick than he is, I don’t know how else to describe it. He likes to play dumb, my Mom doesn’t play dumb, even when she is being a con artist. 

I keep trying, but I really don’t even know how to describe my Mom vs Mr. Messy. I just know that if they interact in person, and have an issue, it won’t go well for Mr. Messy. My Mom is loud and overbearing, not at all the kind of submissive woman Mr. Messy is use to, and how he is use to women in his life treating him. 

Just putting the 2 of them together and see what happens, is almost reason enough to follow through with my tentative plans for this weekend. But that’s me being messy too. I don’t want to be a messy kind of person. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'm betting Brother is thinking if Mister gets on the 401k he can then talk Mister into continuing the gravy train.

The account will get frozen if Mr Messy passes until all the paperwork is done to sign it over.

If Mister is on it it stays open.

Brother has to be considering what ifs by now. He has to know on some level Mister won't be an easy mark like their parents.

I'd say sure I'll put myself on it if only to make sure you don't get a penny but I'm petty like that.

You are right he needs to see an attorney. While I do not wish ill on Mr Messy it's usually not a good sign being in and out like that as I'm sure you're aware.

Mister needs to be careful after everything Mr Messy has said and his nosy family. The LAST thing he needs if he has to act, have one of them bitch to the "right" person and find out the POA isn't binding.

The state doesn't care and in some it's a felony that can carry jail time.

While it socks in a lot of ways at the same time being just me and my dad there aren't any do goober virtue signaling family members to make things even more complicated.

[CCL]

Aug 30, 2023 19:17:42 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I'm betting Brother is thinking if Mister gets on the 401k he can then talk Mister into continuing the gravy train.

The account will get frozen if Mr Messy passes until all the paperwork is done to sign it over.

If Mister is on it it stays open.

Brother has to be considering what ifs by now. He has to know on some level Mister won't be an easy mark like their parents.

I'd say sure I'll put myself on it if only to make sure you don't get a penny but I'm petty like that.

You are right he needs to see an attorney. While I do not wish ill on Mr Messy it's usually not a good sign being in and out like that as I'm sure you're aware.

Mister needs to be careful after everything Mr Messy has said and his nosy family. The LAST thing he needs if he has to act, have one of them bitch to the "right" person and find out the POA isn't binding.

The state doesn't care and in some it's a felony that can carry jail time.

While it socks in a lot of ways at the same time being just me and my dad there aren't any do goober virtue signaling family members to make things even more complicated.

Agree. It sounds to me like Brother is hoping to get his hands on some cash.

[Deleted]

I'm glad Mr. Messy is back home.  There is NO good reason for Bro to be concerned about Mister being on the 401K-just self-serving greed.  Yeah, Bro "needs" that all right so he can continue his free ride. 

The BBQ sounds like fun and interesting too.  I sort of like the idea of your mother meeting Mr. Messy although I honestly know nothing good will come of that.  

[chiver78]

Aug 30, 2023 18:43:58 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I still have a job, but changes are coming. I will likely be self employed/contract employee very, very soon. My boss asked me to look at insurance options with dh's job.

The good news is my boss/team want to keep working with me. Dh was already upping his hours at work and as a contractor/self employed there's absolutely no guilt about my 2nd job, and I had already moved up my surgery to next month.

It's amazing how shocking something can be even when you've known its coming.

yup! I feel you, hard. hugs to you and yours. 

[Deleted]

Aug 30, 2023 18:19:08 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

A normal PSA level is about 4 from what a read, moderate is 4 to 10, 11 next level. He had blood work last year and was normal, so happened over the last year. I sure hope its just localized.  He got an ultrasound today to make sure he is safe to do the biopsy and has antibiotics for it. I think he said it will be done the 7th. So we don't have long to wait. I have good feelings about it, so having a positive outlook at this point.
But I told him depending on the outcome, we need to sell the one house and the other 2 first of next year, that part will be done. 

Hubs brought us dinner home this evening after his docs visit. I was too knocked out after being up all night. I finally sat in the recliner while he was gone and Smoke and I went to sleep. It didn't take him long to be my baby again.  I got up from the recliner and went to bed. Tig was there and continued to sleep but he is still standoffish. Smoke cuddled up and I rubbed his tummy and he and I slept for awhile. He is meowing at me and purring. When I sit in the recliner he stretches out on the back by my head. He went up to hubs for a bit to get petted but was back. I love my guy. They are just beautiful kitties. I need to get them both flea treatment tomorrow if I get to town.

I am not going to worry about hubby, I'm sure he will be fine. If he needs loving and cared for I will do it.

You having a good positive attitude is a big help in this situation, both for you and your husband.  I'm glad the biopsy is scheduled because that will give both of you solid info to make important decisions.  Your guy was really smart to get annual PSA  checks - that makes a world of difference in the outcome.  He needs to be preaching this to his buddies there and to your son.  Early detection is a true game changer.  

[Pink Cashmere]

Monday, Mister and I went out for dinner. He ordered a pasta dish that had tomatoes in it. He didn’t like the taste of the tomatoes, and picked them out and put them to the side. I teased him and asked if he’s become spoiled by the taste of homegrown tomatoes. 

At the time, he said he wasn’t sure why he didn’t like the taste of the tomatoes in his dish at the restaurant. But this morning, he said that after tasting home grown tomatoes last year and this year, he does think he can tell the difference and the home grown tomatoes taste better, and that is probably why he didn’t really like the tomatoes in his dish at the restaurant.

I love it!

He’s already become a fan of the green beans I was growing, and he said I perfected how to cook them, even though we both grew up eating canned green beans that were cooked for forever. So maybe if he continues to really enjoy the fruits of my labor, he will be even more willing to indulge my *strange*ideas regarding growing our own vegetables.

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 30, 2023 19:17:42 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I'm betting Brother is thinking if Mister gets on the 401k he can then talk Mister into continuing the gravy train.

The account will get frozen if Mr Messy passes until all the paperwork is done to sign it over.

If Mister is on it it stays open.

Brother has to be considering what ifs by now. He has to know on some level Mister won't be an easy mark like their parents.

I'd say sure I'll put myself on it if only to make sure you don't get a penny but I'm petty like that.

You are right he needs to see an attorney. While I do not wish ill on Mr Messy it's usually not a good sign being in and out like that as I'm sure you're aware.

Mister needs to be careful after everything Mr Messy has said and his nosy family. The LAST thing he needs if he has to act, have one of them bitch to the "right" person and find out the POA isn't binding.

The state doesn't care and in some it's a felony that can carry jail time.

While it socks in a lot of ways at the same time being just me and my dad there aren't any do goober virtue signaling family members to make things even more complicated.

The first part of your reply, I failed to mention that Brother said “while Dad is still alive”, then telling Mister what he needs Mister to do.

I am as sure as one can be, thinking they really know another person, that if their Dad dies, Mister won’t care as much  as he cares about a dead fly, about the fallout about his parents’ house and it being the only place his brother has to live. 

Mr. Messy has a vehicle that he bought last summer, that Mister’s Mom got upset about because she had figured out what they could afford, and the vehicle he bought was way beyond that in terms of cost. Dad can’t even drive anymore, but Brother drives the vehicle for his own purposes, because he doesn’t have his own vehicle and wrecked both of his parents’ cars, which led to Dad buying the current vehicle….. but that’s cool because he uses Dad’s vehicle to take him to his doctors appointments now. 

That shit is part of the reasons I say that Brother will keep insisting their Dad can come home and he will take care of him. Brother has a LOT to lose otherwise. But Mister, he has a home with me that has nothing to do with his parents, and I have a whole ‘nother house that is problematic because of my my Mom, but at the end of the day, it’s an asset if I am willing to do what I need to do. We have 2 cars in our garage, and 3more vehicles in our driveway. Mister is not hurting for money at all, and even if he was, he has a partner that has his back (me).

Mister would be just fine financially, without me and what I bring  to the table. It’s not Mister’s fault that his brother got himself into a situating where he lost everything and can’t get himself together enough to regroup. For years after I met Mister, his brother was the golden child and wealthy one in the family, it’s not Mister’s fault that Brother fucked that up, 

Brother should just either just do what he’s said he would do and take care of their Dad, or be okay with their Dad living in a facility if that’s what’s best for Dad. And be man enough to accept that doing what’s best for his Dad, might mean losing access to the comfortable home his Dad provides for him, even though Dad doesn’t even really seem to be capable of making smart decisions. 

[azucena]

Curious who is older - Brother or Mister?

I've thought about a showdown btn your mom and messy. Shit could get interesting but prob not a good idea.

[bean29]

Aug 30, 2023 12:17:57 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Aug 30, 2023 11:56:45 GMT -5 azucena said:

New stove and microwave delivered and installed. First world problem is micro stainless handle gets hot when stovetop is on.

Told my boss that I'm expecting a new proposal from a client next week. Said that's all I know. He proceeds to ask how much business, what can we charge them, when's it due, etc. Dude I told you all I know. Slow your role.

10 mins later my phone rings...it's our head of sales asking the same questions, Apparently my boss gave him the 'heads up.'

Is it any reason I'm burnt out? I survived the call by repeating I've told you all I know about 4x verbatim and he didn't even notice.

Both guys spend way to much time chasing squirrels and shiny objects.

I have that with my POS range - if the oven is on, anything that's on the stovetop gets nuclear hot - like pot lids if I rest them when I want to stir a pot. I've gotten in the habit of just leaving an "Ove Glove" on one hand while I'm cooking. and then it's like a "clean hand, dirty hand" situation in what I touch with which hand until everything is off. the learning curve took a little while, but I'm good with it now. good luck. 

I was telling DH about this. He questioned if you are turning the vent fan on while cooking? He is thinking it will help draw heat away from surface?

Also he wondered if stove & microwave are unusually close together?

We have the built in microwave over stove. We seem to replace every 2-3 years. We always buy one with a stronger fan. Usually more watts/bigger unit. I may buy smaller one at some point so it lines up with cabinet faces, current one sticks out a few inches.

[azucena]

Yeah the microwave is prob lower than it should be. Also sticks out a few inches from cabinets but that's to short dd11s advantage lol.

Will try vent fan and see if it sucks up enough heat. Hopefully the low setting is quiet.

[busymom]

I agree that Mister should definitely talk to an attorney, Pink Cashmere, before making any changes on paperwork.  Do the wrong thing & Mister will be the one to suffer the consequences.  That may be Brother's plan, to get Mister in trouble, then Brother thinks he'll inherit everything.  

[finnime]

Good morning, evolving invisipeeps, finding houses and jobs and help. Welcome to Thursday. You are over the hump for the week.

Yesterday was a slow day here at chez finnime. DH and I did get to Costco. I'm beginning to realize DD herself eats and uses supplies at almost the same rate as DH and I together. Afterward DH and I went out to eat. He wanted a little bit of usual life. So dinner for me was a fantastic garden salad with seared fresh scallops. DH had chicken milanese, also excellent.

It was deeply foggy yesterday morning. I saw a Great Blue Heron jumping from rock to rock on a breakwater:

[daisylu]

3 hours of sleep means this is going to be a long day. And boss surprised me last night with a request from above him to visit another nearby facility today. One that has been sort of operating on their own island for quite a while, so I'm not too sure how they will react to direction. I could easily be putting in 14 hours today, and I have a 6am flight tomorrow.

Also, rental car place only had Teslas available. Model Y. Now I can say I've driven one and have zero desire to own one. Drove it around 100 miles, mostly highway, and battery was down from 98% to 39%. Boss was the same. Took 40 minutes to charge. Then drove 15 minutes through Wichita city to dinner, and about 25 miles back to hotel. Already down 10%. I like to drive, and drive a lot, no way that would work for me.

[daisylu]

And I woke up to my right eye feeling like there was something in it and now leaking like crazy. Going to have to find a drug store for some OTC pink eye drops.

[raeoflyte]

Trying to face the day.

Remembered last night that another friend/outside coworker was weirdly pushing for me to contract process for them a few weeks back. Weirdly because obviously I wasn't going to quit my w2 salary/benefit job to process their maybe 1-2 loans a month. I offered her a referral to someone I know and think she'd like. But if I'm losing my w2 salary and benefits anyway, then of course I would love their business. Texted her last night to let her know. Will need to get started on getting registered with secretary of state.

[cooper88]

Today is my Friday. I'm picking up groceries during lunch, then looking forward to spending four glorious days at home.

[lurkyloo]

Aug 31, 2023 6:59:05 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Trying to face the day.

Remembered last night that another friend/outside coworker was weirdly pushing for me to contract process for them a few weeks back. Weirdly because obviously I wasn't going to quit my w2 salary/benefit job to process their maybe 1-2 loans a month. I offered her a referral to someone I know and think she'd like. But if I'm losing my w2 salary and benefits anyway, then of course I would love their business. Texted her last night to let her know. Will need to get started on getting registered with secretary of state.

Hugs rae.
I am curious whether what they are doing is actually legal and follows IRS rules.  You might be doing your main company a favor if you do some work for your friend and lend legitimacy to the independent contractor thing.

[lurkyloo]

Oof.  I sent a work email yesterday after my dental appt and can only conclude that the numbing agent he used spread to my brain.  WTF self.  You make no sense.

[wvugurl26]

I have a bunch of work to do today and I'm over it. Stove won't be installed until Friday just in time for us to leave. I suppose the stove installation also prohibits grabbing an earlier flight to Florida. Although based on Friday's forecast, earlier might be better. We'll see what window they give us today. If it's too late it will have to be pushed back.

I have all the laundry to do today and I need to pack. I apparently shredded all of the homeowners insurance annual statements for grandma and didn't write down the account number. I swear I did write down the dumb account number though. It's auto billed. Guess I'll be stopping in a local office tomorrow and begging for help.

[chiver78]

today is also my Friday, and I pulled the trigger last night on taking Tuesday off as well. everything's on fire due to other people, and <touches nose> it's soon to no longer be my problem. 

[TheOtherMe]

Aug 30, 2023 23:38:56 GMT -5 busymom said:

I agree that Mister should definitely talk to an attorney, Pink Cashmere , before making any changes on paperwork.  Do the wrong thing & Mister will be the one to suffer the consequences.  That may be Brother's plan, to get Mister in trouble, then Brother thinks he'll inherit everything.  

I'm not sure if brother is capable of having a plan.  He just wants money.

At this point, make no changes.  Mister needs to see an attorney.  

Changing beneficiaries on retirement plans is not easy.  Has it been changed since his wife died?  

One of the few things my dad knew needed to be done  when mom died was get the beneficiary on his life insurance changed.  

A friend of ours here had a strange marriage.  2nd marriage for both.  The sons tried to get themselves named as beneficiaries on his pension and life insurance.  Got denied.  They then tried to get her to sign off on that change.  She got an attorney and was told NOT to sign that paper.  

His children are hoping she dies like now.  It's been at least 7 or 8 years that she has outlived him.

Their problem is when the husband decided to move into the independent living facility, he didn't have enough cash for the purchase.  A son had loaned him 1/3 of the money with the promise of repayment when he died.  Well the contract with the independent living facility was in both names so he has to wait for her to die before he gets a dime of his money.  

[minnesotapaintlady]

11:30 last night DS drops on me that he thought I was taking him and all his crap back to school on Friday.  Meanwhile I was thinking all along I was taking him back on Saturday, which is why I never put in for Friday off AND burned a day on Wednesday to boot.  Needless to say he has to be back on Friday for training and I'm very annoyed because he just drove himself up on Tuesday night for training on Wednesday and crashed with friends, so why not just keep staying with them a couple extra days instead of driving back.

So I was scrambling this morning trying to line up a back up for tomorrow, because OF COURSE my counterpart wasn't going to be here.  Friday.  Payday. Day before a holiday weekend. .   No chance in hell she was going to be in.  Luckily, a guy at another division is going to "watch the baby" for me while I'm out.  At least with it being the first day of the quarter it should be pretty dead.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 30, 2023 18:43:58 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

It's amazing how shocking something can be even when you've known its coming.

Hopefully this all turns out to be something for the better.  That job has been stressing you out for a long time worrying about when it was going to end.

[seriousthistime]

For those of you who have microwave handles that get hot, have you considered this?  The write-up doesn't say it's good for hot handles, but some of the reviewers used them that way and are pleased. 

www.amazon.com/OUGAR8-Protective-Electrical-Protector-Catches-Fingerprints/dp/B071RRVCCS/ref=asc_df_B071RRVCCS/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=216567592549&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14205560871157356290&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9022197&hvtargid=pla-541658571592&th=1

[toomuchreality]

Aug 31, 2023 8:41:26 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

For those of you who have microwave handles that get hot, have you considered this?  The write-up doesn't say it's good for hot handles, but some of the reviewers used them that way and are pleased. 

www.amazon.com/OUGAR8-Protective-Electrical-Protector-Catches-Fingerprints/dp/B071RRVCCS/ref=asc_df_B071RRVCCS/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=216567592549&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14205560871157356290&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9022197&hvtargid=pla-541658571592&th=1

Does it get any more perfect?
Good find!