what are you doing right now?

[lurkyloo]

I don’t think I realized it was possible to have a second person on a 401k account unless it was naming a beneficiary.  So Bro wants Mister to have the power to draw down the 401k?  Seems like a can of worms best left unopened.

From what I’ve read I think Mister would need to provide the 401k custodian with a copy of the POA and they would decide whether it’s legally enforceable by their standards and may require Mr Messy to sign off on a new POA.  If he actually wanted to proceed with the plan.

I think you need an eldercare attorney  

[azucena]

Aug 31, 2023 8:41:26 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

For those of you who have microwave handles that get hot, have you considered this?  The write-up doesn't say it's good for hot handles, but some of the reviewers used them that way and are pleased. 

www.amazon.com/OUGAR8-Protective-Electrical-Protector-Catches-Fingerprints/dp/B071RRVCCS/ref=asc_df_B071RRVCCS/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=216567592549&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14205560871157356290&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9022197&hvtargid=pla-541658571592&th=1

Only $7...sold! Will be delivered tomorrow.

Gotta love my YM helpers.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 31, 2023 8:05:30 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Aug 31, 2023 6:59:05 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Trying to face the day.

Remembered last night that another friend/outside coworker was weirdly pushing for me to contract process for them a few weeks back. Weirdly because obviously I wasn't going to quit my w2 salary/benefit job to process their maybe 1-2 loans a month. I offered her a referral to someone I know and think she'd like. But if I'm losing my w2 salary and benefits anyway, then of course I would love their business. Texted her last night to let her know. Will need to get started on getting registered with secretary of state.

Hugs rae.
I am curious whether what they are doing is actually legal and follows IRS rules.  You might be doing your main company a favor if you do some work for your friend and lend legitimacy to the independent contractor thing.

We'd actually leave current company and set up our own shops. So boss would have Boss Inc, and he'd hire Rae Llc and we'd both get paid at closing. It's possible but unlikely that we would send business to current company.

I haven't liked almost anything at the current company since we moved over here a year ago and I'm pretty sure they're letting people go today which ends their insurance today which makes me pretty scorched earth with them. I'd do what I had to to keep any paycheck coming in, but I'd really be unhappy if moving to a contract position was to save them money.

[seriousthistime]

Pink Cashmere, if you are concerned that the POA is not valid, this should be checked into ASAP.  

When you have a POA to handle someone else's finances, you will very likely have to show the POA to any bank, investment company, or 401k/similar retirement account before you do anything and they will ensure it's valid before they let you exercise any of the powers given to you in the POA.  If it's not valid, things will get complicated and create delays and extra cost.  I think Mister owes it to himself and his family to ensure that the POA he has is valid.  Was it notarized? Was it witnessed?  Depending on what powers are granted, it may need to be registered with the county clerk or someone else (for example, if you're using a POA to buy or sell real estate).  Maybe check your state's law to see if what you have is valid.  

Of course, if it's not valid Mister would need to get a new one drawn up. And getting Mr. Messy to sit down and officially assign his powers these days could be quite the chore.  

It's possible that Mr. Messy's retirement plan already specifies contingent beneficiaries if the primary beneficiary has died.

I'm confused though... Brother wants to get money from the retirement plan while Mr. Messy is still alive?  Is he asking for Mister to give him a power of attorney, or is he asking Mister to withdraw funds from the account and give it to Brother?  

 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Aug 31, 2023 9:01:57 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

I don’t think I realized it was possible to have a second person on a 401k account unless it was naming a beneficiary.  So Bro wants Mister to have the power to draw down the 401k?  Seems like a can of worms best left unopened.

From what I’ve read I think Mister would need to provide the 401k custodian with a copy of the POA and they would decide whether it’s legally enforceable by their standards and may require Mr Messy to sign off on a new POA.  If he actually wanted to proceed with the plan.

I think you need an eldercare attorney  

I was not named on my grandma's retirement account but I was acting in her stead so I was "her" from a legal standpoint.  I drained the retirement account and put it all into her checking then closed the retirement account.  I needed that money for the nursing home and it is easier to have it all in one place.

I could have drawn from it to pay for her care but I would be in DEEP SHIT if I had been drawing on it to pay someone else's expenses.   

It could have been used to pay utilities and if there was one the mortgage on the house.  Where that can get sticky is brother is squatting in it currently.  Any relative could accuse Mister of using Mr. Messy's funds to support brother's lifestyle and Mister would be hard pressed to prove them wrong.  Especially if Mr. Messy opens his big mouth.

Our lawyer and the nursing home sent copies to Edward Investments.   There is A LOT that goes into it being approved too.  Mine had to be signed by myself, grandma and the lawyer then filed with the state.

By law he had to meet with my grandma one on one and talk to her IN PRIVATE without me, my dad or the nursing home present.  None of us could consent to my grandmother being of sound mind.  It had to be an independent third party.  The lawyer represented HER, not us.

He had to ask her a specific set of questions.  By signing off on it he is testifying that my grandma was sound of mind enough to consent.  If he never met with her he could lose his license endorsing the POA.  If there is no proof that my grandmother was competent at the time of signing that renders the POA null and void.

If all Mister has is a DIY POA then he absolutely needs to see an attorney.  

[lurkyloo]

Aug 31, 2023 9:11:16 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Aug 31, 2023 8:05:30 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Hugs rae.
I am curious whether what they are doing is actually legal and follows IRS rules.  You might be doing your main company a favor if you do some work for your friend and lend legitimacy to the independent contractor thing.

We'd actually leave current company and set up our own shops. So boss would have Boss Inc, and he'd hire Rae Llc and we'd both get paid at closing. It's possible but unlikely that we would send business to current company.

I haven't liked almost anything at the current company since we moved over here a year ago and I'm pretty sure they're letting people go today which ends their insurance today which makes me pretty scorched earth with them. I'd do what I had to to keep any paycheck coming in, but I'd really be unhappy if moving to a contract position was to save them money.

Got it.  Wow.  That really is an asshole thing for them to do. 

[lurkyloo]

Aug 31, 2023 9:13:03 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Aug 31, 2023 9:01:57 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

I don’t think I realized it was possible to have a second person on a 401k account unless it was naming a beneficiary.  So Bro wants Mister to have the power to draw down the 401k?  Seems like a can of worms best left unopened.

From what I’ve read I think Mister would need to provide the 401k custodian with a copy of the POA and they would decide whether it’s legally enforceable by their standards and may require Mr Messy to sign off on a new POA.  If he actually wanted to proceed with the plan.

I think you need an eldercare attorney  

I was not named on my grandma's retirement account but I was acting in her stead so I was "her" from a legal standpoint.  I drained the retirement account and put it all into her checking then closed the retirement account.  I needed that money for the nursing home and it is easier to have it all in one place.

I could have drawn from it to pay for her care but I would be in DEEP SHIT if I had been drawing on it to pay someone else's expenses.   

It could have been used to pay utilities and if there was one the mortgage on the house.  Where that can get sticky is brother is squatting in it currently.  Any relative could accuse Mister of using Mr. Messy's funds to support brother's lifestyle and Mister would be hard pressed to prove them wrong.  Especially if Mr. Messy opens his big mouth.

Our lawyer and the nursing home sent copies to Edward Investments.   There is A LOT that goes into it being approved too.  Mine had to be signed by myself, grandma and the lawyer then filed with the state.

By law he had to meet with my grandma one on one and talk to her IN PRIVATE without me, my dad or the nursing home present.  None of us could consent to my grandmother being of sound mind.  It had to be an independent third party.  The lawyer represented HER, not us.

He had to ask her a specific set of questions.  By signing off on it he is testifying that my grandma was sound of mind enough to consent.  If he never met with her he could lose his license endorsing the POA.  If there is no proof that my grandmother was competent at the time of signing that renders the POA null and void.

If all Mister has is a DIY POA then he absolutely needs to see an attorney.  

Thanks Drama for the voice of hard-won experience. 

[lurkyloo]

The good thing coming out of all the brouhaha is that I got off my ass and poked the firm drawing up our trusts and POAs to get moving again.  It’s been more than a year…a lot of the delay is our fault but I’d feel pretty damn stupid if something happened in the meantime.  Also I might still be able to title the Florida property in the trust’s name if we can get the damn thing set up since that is taking for freaking ever.

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 31, 2023 9:11:42 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Pink Cashmere , if you are concerned that the POA is not valid, this should be checked into ASAP.  

When you have a POA to handle someone else's finances, you will very likely have to show the POA to any bank, investment company, or 401k/similar retirement account before you do anything and they will ensure it's valid before they let you exercise any of the powers given to you in the POA.  If it's not valid, things will get complicated and create delays and extra cost.  I think Mister owes it to himself and his family to ensure that the POA he has is valid.  Was it notarized? Was it witnessed?  Depending on what powers are granted, it may need to be registered with the county clerk or someone else (for example, if you're using a POA to buy or sell real estate).  Maybe check your state's law to see if what you have is valid.  

Of course, if it's not valid Mister would need to get a new one drawn up. And getting Mr. Messy to sit down and officially assign his powers these days could be quite the chore.  

It's possible that Mr. Messy's retirement plan already specifies contingent beneficiaries if the primary beneficiary has died.

I'm confused though... Brother wants to get money from the retirement plan while Mr. Messy is still alive?  Is he asking for Mister to give him a power of attorney, or is he asking Mister to withdraw funds from the account and give it to Brother?  

 

I know it needs to be done, should’ve already been done, as far as getting an attorney. I think Mister is using his job as an escape and an excuse to avoid dealing with all of this. It was notarized, idk if it was witnessed. I don’t know what it says.

I’m not sure why Brother brought the retirement account up. Mister says he thinks his Dad drained everything he could when he retired. His only income now is from his pension and SS. With all the money issues he’s had over the last couple of years, if he had some money somewhere else, I’m sure he’d have used it.

His Dad went back to the ER last night. Someone from Palliative care called Mister this morning, I’m going to meet him at the hospital this afternoon because they want to talk to him. In Mister’s mind, that means his Dad is going to die soon, because his Mom died right after they started talking to Mister about Palliative care. I haven’t heard Mister’s voice, we’ve been texting, but I am pretty sure he is not okay. 

[Pink Cashmere]

I think it is too late now, to get his Dad to consent to anything.

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 30, 2023 21:09:58 GMT -5 azucena said:

Curious who is older - Brother or Mister?

I've thought about a showdown btn your mom and messy. Shit could get interesting but prob not a good idea.

I missed this last night. Mister is the oldest.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Aug 31, 2023 9:50:56 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I think it is too late now, to get his Dad to consent to anything.

Probably but if Mister can he needs to find someone who can give his POA a quick look over.   Palliative care doesn't mean Mr. Messy will pass anytime soon and during that bills and shit need to be paid.  I wouldn't touch ANYTHING financial at the moment until he has talked with someone.   Bills go late they go late it's brother's problem he's squatting in it.  He could easily pay them himself utilities don't care whose paying as long as it is paid.

Elder care is such a web of confusion.  It's not something you take up for light reading one day.  You don't think about it until you need it and by then it's pretty much too late.

It is the assuming things that gets you into trouble and nobody cares that you are inexperienced and trying to learn this on the fly.  You should have "known better" and are therefore abusing an elder whether that was actually your intent or not.

Add onto that Mr. Messy spreading lies and the family believing him hook line and sinker Mister could be in for a world of hurt.   He needs to make 100% sure everything is dotted and crossed legally for HIS protection at this point.  Do what he can as next of kin health wise but don't worry about "doing right" regarding anything else at the moment.  It's not like he needs his credit score or anything as horrible as that is to say.  Mister's priority outside of the hospital situation is to protect himself.

[seriousthistime]

Aug 31, 2023 9:48:10 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 31, 2023 9:11:42 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Pink Cashmere , if you are concerned that the POA is not valid, this should be checked into ASAP.  

When you have a POA to handle someone else's finances, you will very likely have to show the POA to any bank, investment company, or 401k/similar retirement account before you do anything and they will ensure it's valid before they let you exercise any of the powers given to you in the POA.  If it's not valid, things will get complicated and create delays and extra cost.  I think Mister owes it to himself and his family to ensure that the POA he has is valid.  Was it notarized? Was it witnessed?  Depending on what powers are granted, it may need to be registered with the county clerk or someone else (for example, if you're using a POA to buy or sell real estate).  Maybe check your state's law to see if what you have is valid.  
 

I know it needs to be done, should’ve already been done, as far as getting an attorney. I think Mister is using his job as an escape and an excuse to avoid dealing with all of this. It was notarized, idk if it was witnessed. I don’t know what it says.

I’m not sure why Brother brought the retirement account up. Mister says he thinks his Dad drained everything he could when he retired. His only income now is from his pension and SS. With all the money issues he’s had over the last couple of years, if he had some money somewhere else, I’m sure he’d have used it.

If it's notarized, it probably does not need to be witnessed, but you'd have to check your state's law.  

On the other hand, notarization does not mean a document meets all the requirements to be valid.  For example: After a very acrimonious, expensive, and drawn out divorce, XH married his GF two weeks after it was finalized.  The night before the courthouse wedding, he drafted a prenup for her to sign, and they called a mobile notary.  Fast forward a few years, and circumstances were such that he wanted to retire.  In the prenup, she had waived any claim to his pension.  He tried to get her to sign paperwork for the pension system to waive her right to a survivor pension, and she refused to even talk to him.  He finally retired and had to take a reduced pension with her as survivor.  She was 20 years younger than he was, so it was a big hit to his monthly pension amount. To enforce the prenup he would have had to take her to court and it would have been found invalid because she was not fully advised of his financial situation at the time and didn't have the opportunity to get her own legal representation. 

As they say, she carried around his testicles in her Chanel purse. 

And yes, with Mr. Messy's tendency to blow through his money, at this point there may not be anything left in the retirement account. That would be my guess. 
 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

The problem with it is if there was no witness it's going to be easy for a nosy relative to argue that Mr. Messy didn't know what he was signing and Mister was taking advantage of him. 

That is why we and the nursing home could not be present when discussing the POA with my grandmother, there couldn't be so much as a whiff of conflicting interests.   Doesn't matter if we were quiet during it just our presence could be constituted as pressure because would grandma REALLY say no while her son is staring at her from across the table?

That is why it appears that the nursing home trying to revoke my dad as medical POA does not stand as far as we are aware.  They had no one witness except themselves.  They are required to file a petition with the state proving my grandma wanted it revoked.  We just have a 8x10 piece of paper with her supposed signature on it.   The state revoked financial POA so that's done.   According to our lawyer unless they do that the medical POA stands.  The nursing home can't unilaterally decide my dad can't be medical.

But they could make our lives a pain when I apply for Medicaid so I may have to end up being her medical POA too.  Yay.

If Mister didn't have brother squatting in the house and a bunch of virtue signaling relatives I would say at this stage probably don't worry about it it is unlikely outside the house Mr. Messy has any assets of value and as next of kin he would be making final decisions regardless of POA status.  

But he has all of the former and it seems several of them LOVE to stir the pot for the fun of it.   This is an area where you REALLY don't want that to happen.

[Pink Cashmere]

Honestly, I don’t think his Dad will live much longer. He’s already been saying stuff about dying and just waiting to die, and going to see his wife. I think he’s given up and that’s part of the reason he’s been refusing to even try to do anything for himself. I know palliative care is not the same as hospice, but he doesn’t even seem to have the will to live.

These last 12 months have been pretty horrible for Mister, and I’ve been sad, watching him go through all of it.

I’d rather Mr. Messy keep being Mr. Messy and keep getting on my darn nerves than for him to suffer and die.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 31, 2023 10:51:59 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Honestly, I don’t think his Dad will live much longer. He’s already been saying stuff about dying and just waiting to die, and going to see his wife. I think he’s given up and that’s part of the reason he’s been refusing to even try to do anything for himself. I know palliative care is not the same as hospice, but he doesn’t even seem to have the will to live.

These last 12 months have been pretty horrible for Mister, and I’ve been sad, watching him go through all of it.

I’d rather Mr. Messy keep being Mr. Messy and keep getting on my darn nerves than for him to suffer and die.

Have they ever diagnosed him with anything?  It just seems so bizarre to me that he'd in such bad shape at 69.

[daisylu]

Hugs, Pink Cashmere

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 31, 2023 10:54:44 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 31, 2023 10:51:59 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Honestly, I don’t think his Dad will live much longer. He’s already been saying stuff about dying and just waiting to die, and going to see his wife. I think he’s given up and that’s part of the reason he’s been refusing to even try to do anything for himself. I know palliative care is not the same as hospice, but he doesn’t even seem to have the will to live.

These last 12 months have been pretty horrible for Mister, and I’ve been sad, watching him go through all of it.

I’d rather Mr. Messy keep being Mr. Messy and keep getting on my darn nerves than for him to suffer and die.

Have they ever diagnosed him with anything?  It just seems so bizarre to me that he'd in such bad shape at 69.

I’m not understanding it either, I don’t even know why they needed to give him blood the other night. The only things he’s been diagnosed with, was last December when he was in the hospital because he had a blood clot in his lungs and congestive heart failure. Idk if his heart issues have progressed or what.

I don’t know what happened that they took him to the ER again last night. I still haven’t really talked to Mister besides when he text me about them calling him about palliative care. I guess I’ll learn more when I meet him at the hospital.

[andi9899]

Aug 30, 2023 19:06:10 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Mr. Messy is home from the hospital again. Idk any details about what’s really going on with him and Mister doesn’t seem to really want to talk about it, so I don’t pester him with questions.

Brother text him today though and said since Mister has POA, he *needs* Mister to put himself on their Dad’s 401k or whatever retirement account he has. Brother said he’d do it himself, but Mister is the one that has POA. Ummmm….. what?! Why does Brother “need” Mister to do anything concerning their Dad’s money. And when did Brother decide to start handling concerning their parents, when he still has not done anything Mister has asked him to do? Boy, BYE! 

And that’s me saying that, not Mister.

I’m not even sure Mister’s POA would stand in court, which is one of the reasons I keep advising him to get an attorney.

I’m not sure what prompted Brother to text Mister like he was calling the shots and can tell Mister what he needs to do. TF?!

Anyway, in other news, this coming weekend is a holiday weekend, and also happens to be the weekend Mister will have Kiddo and his Dad, if his Dad is able to come over. My son’s birthday is next week too. I’ve been thinking about having a BBQ this weekend for our family, kind of like an end of summer blast, and celebrate DS’s birthday. Mister is okay with it, he’s leaving it up to me to decide whether we do it or not.

I know it’s short notice, but a BBQ for our families is one of the things we actually have been able to make happen at the last minute. It doesn’t have to be fancy, grilled ribs, hot dogs and hamburgers are cool, and I seem to have been tasked with smoking pork butts after my first try was a success. Coleslaw (Mister or DD can make that), baked beans (Mister makes good baked beans), spaghetti if Mister feels like making it, and greens, which Mister said he’s ok with cooking. And I can do some other green stuff if we buy it. My broccoli on the grill has been a hit. Plus whatever random items I might put on the grill if it’s smoking good. But not chicken wings this time. I’ve always included chicken wings in the past, when I grill, but they cost too much these days. I might still have a package or 2 in the deep freezer from when I caught a good sale around the 4th of July, I can grill whatever is out in the deep freezer, but I’m not buying any at regular price to grill this weekend.

In the past, Mister’s parents always had dinners on holidays. I am okay with Mister and I trying to find our groove to carry on that tradition. With some exceptions, because a few people that were welcome at his parents’ home, are not welcome at mine. Favorite niece is working her way onto that short list, because she can’t come over here with an attitude toward Mister and bring negative energy into my home. Her Mom (Mr. Messy’s older sister) is welcome, her daughter is welcome. I am willing to try it with her, but if she acts any kind of negative way toward Mister, I will insist that she leave our home. Immediately. And I may or may not be nice about it. I show grace for our children and our parents, as much as I can. Anybody else….. don’t come in my home if you feel some type of negative way about me OR Mister, because I am very serious about protecting myself and Mister from negative energy and evil spirits from random people, including family members, in my home.

Our children, my grandchildren, and our parents are the only ones I’m willing to deal with as far as all that negative shit goes. And even with that, my folks know where I stand, and my boundaries on protecting my peace in my home. My Mom, who likes to try to buck the system, knows not to go too far testing me when she is at my home, because I will take her right back to where I got her from if she starts driving me crazy.

I do think it might be interesting to have her and Mr. Messy at our house at the same time. If they both show their true colors, they will NOT get along. They are both selfish, and problematic, but I don’t see Mr. Messy being able to go toe to toe with my Mom in a war of words. They both have smart mouths, but my Mom is more slick than he is, I don’t know how else to describe it. He likes to play dumb, my Mom doesn’t play dumb, even when she is being a con artist. 

I keep trying, but I really don’t even know how to describe my Mom vs Mr. Messy. I just know that if they interact in person, and have an issue, it won’t go well for Mr. Messy. My Mom is loud and overbearing, not at all the kind of submissive woman Mr. Messy is use to, and how he is use to women in his life treating him. 

Just putting the 2 of them together and see what happens, is almost reason enough to follow through with my tentative plans for this weekend. But that’s me being messy too. I don’t want to be a messy kind of person. 

Can I please come to this cookout? 🙏 I'll fly myself out there and help cook. I just want to witness this interaction. Please and thank you.

[daisylu]

Waiting on a tow. Low tire pressure light came on. I thought it was due to temperature change overnight. Stopped to check, and saw a nail in one. No spare in Teslas means waiting on a tow - after an hour on the phone with roadside assistance, who could not even locate the closest rental place for a replacement car. Well, they couldn't until I just told them to have the truck take me back to where I rented it and if Budget doesn't have a vehicle I'll just rent from another company in the complex.


Tow will take me to the Wichita airport for a replacement, about another hour away. If it wasn't that I'd be driving high speeds I would have just headed to the airport instead of dealing with all that mess.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 31, 2023 11:01:57 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 31, 2023 10:54:44 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Have they ever diagnosed him with anything?  It just seems so bizarre to me that he'd in such bad shape at 69.

I’m not understanding it either, I don’t even know why they needed to give him blood the other night. The only things he’s been diagnosed with, was last December when he was in the hospital because he had a blood clot in his lungs and congestive heart failure. Idk if his heart issues have progressed or what.

I don’t know what happened that they took him to the ER again last night. I still haven’t really talked to Mister besides when he text me about them calling him about palliative care. I guess I’ll learn more when I meet him at the hospital.

Ah, that makes more sense to me now, CHF is basically a ticking time bomb and not very predictable.

[TheOtherMe]

Aug 31, 2023 11:13:23 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 31, 2023 11:01:57 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I’m not understanding it either, I don’t even know why they needed to give him blood the other night. The only things he’s been diagnosed with, was last December when he was in the hospital because he had a blood clot in his lungs and congestive heart failure. Idk if his heart issues have progressed or what.

I don’t know what happened that they took him to the ER again last night. I still haven’t really talked to Mister besides when he text me about them calling him about palliative care. I guess I’ll learn more when I meet him at the hospital.

Ah, that makes more sense to me now, CHF is basically a ticking time bomb and not very predictable.

Yes it is and blood clots can also be.  Sounds like pulmonary embolism and they can be deadly, too.  


  

[TheOtherMe]

As for palliative care, that does not mean death is imminent.  Here a person qualifies for hospice when they are expected to die within 6 months.  

My mom lived almost 5 months and was freaking out about what if they kicked her out at 6 months.  Her nurse kept reassuring her that they would re-certify her and would not kick her out.

With dad, death was pretty imminent--3 weeks.  

I do know people who have died while hospice was being set up.  They never left the hospital.

[countrygirl2]

I never heard of someone else getting into a 401K, there would be specific things that have to be done in a court of law. I worked at a company that administered those things for awhile and we went through all kinds of training for it. We did deal with court ordered divisions due to divorce of the 401K's and could only be done with court ordered documents. It got interesting.  

Also a notarization says nothing about the document being false or true, all it does is make sure the person signing is actually that person period. I was a notary for a company I worked for, for several years. I would have workmen coming in wanting me to notarize documents. I would not, mine was for company business and someone that did not speak or understand english, no, I'm sorry, was not swearing to anything. Who knew if the license they had was real??

I wouldn't worry so much if the person does not have any money. And it sounds to me like the brother is trying to get money out of it, not going to happen. I can't see anything being left anyway. If there is no will and there is something left it will be divided according to the laws of the state.

But my issues for MIL was all due to VA overpaying, and with covid noone to get in touch with. It got resolved, finally VA said it did not need to be returned, so the state of Indiana got $16,000, fine by me. I just wanted rid of it.

We are getting ready to go to our attorney now and change some things. No longer leaving DD half of our estate.

[toomuchreality]

Aug 31, 2023 11:05:18 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Waiting on a tow. Low tire pressure light came on. I thought it was due to temperature change overnight. Stopped to check, and saw a nail in one. No spare in Teslas means waiting on a tow - after an hour on the phone with roadside assistance, who could not even locate the closest rental place for a replacement car. Well, they couldn't until I just told them to have the truck take me back to where I rented it and if Budget doesn't have a vehicle I'll just rent from another company in the complex.


Tow will take me to the Wichita airport for a replacement, about another hour away. If it wasn't that I'd be driving high speeds I would have just headed to the airport instead of dealing with all that mess.

Dang it! Good luck and take care!

[jerseygirl]

Had surgery last Friday . Dr said doing very well but it’s a struggle. Didn’t eat for a week , yesterday had some food but didn’t stay. Today better ate 6 spoons of cream of rice with brown sugar. Had few sips of milk other than ice chips first liquid. I’m getting up and walking a little with nurse and walker
Get a colonoscopy even if you’re over 75!

[countrygirl2]

Things are moving along.  I have everything vacced about half the house mopped. Need to do the rest and dust.

Have the fridge cleaned out and some old food I threw away, not that much. Than cleaned the microwave out, again not bad but needed it and wiped it down and the stove. Hubs just washed and rinsed his silverware and it left it all spotted, so I'm putting it in the dishwasher to clean and I cleaned out the silverware drawer.

I have to clean the kitty room better, washed all their bowls and bowl frames. I've washed half of the throw rugs, ready to do the rest. As hubs said that room needs cleaned, I vacced off their climbing and sleeping post too.

All the suitcases emptied and clothes put away, need to take those downstairs.

Made calls again about the dentist bill we don't owe. They acknowledged we don't owe it and will delete the charge and notify collections-AGAIN. I made an appointment with a new dentist. They have turned the bill over to collections!!

I also made a call on another bill, its a utility bill on a rental, so will pay that. Wasn't much to catch up on as I can do that stuff online.

[Deleted]

Aug 31, 2023 11:51:16 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

Had surgery last Friday . Dr said doing very well but it’s a struggle. Didn’t eat for a week , yesterday had some food but didn’t stay. Today better ate 6 spoons of cream of rice with brown sugar. Had few sips of milk other than ice chips first liquid. I’m getting up and walking a little with nurse and walker
Get a colonoscopy even if you’re over 75!

Thanks for letting us know - I hope every day is a little bit better than the one before.  

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 31, 2023 11:28:30 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Aug 31, 2023 11:13:23 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Ah, that makes more sense to me now, CHF is basically a ticking time bomb and not very predictable.

Yes it is and blood clots can also be.  Sounds like pulmonary embolism and they can be deadly, too.  


  

And the blood clot was most likely the result of the CHF and the heart not pumping properly. 

[raeoflyte]

Aug 31, 2023 11:05:18 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Waiting on a tow. Low tire pressure light came on. I thought it was due to temperature change overnight. Stopped to check, and saw a nail in one. No spare in Teslas means waiting on a tow - after an hour on the phone with roadside assistance, who could not even locate the closest rental place for a replacement car. Well, they couldn't until I just told them to have the truck take me back to where I rented it and if Budget doesn't have a vehicle I'll just rent from another company in the complex.


Tow will take me to the Wichita airport for a replacement, about another hour away. If it wasn't that I'd be driving high speeds I would have just headed to the airport instead of dealing with all that mess.

That's miserable.