what are you doing right now?

[chiver78]

Jul 11, 2023 13:30:38 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I may or may not be standing in a super hero stance saying "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and darn doggone it, people like me."

FTFY. 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Jul 11, 2023 7:33:24 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Trying to keep my poop together.

Today is *the* day. I still need to put some finishing touches on items and practice. Script mostly typed out.

However the missy decided to wake up and get into mischief. So, I painted nails.

(For the record, I was planning on us doing something together this morning. After I finished this and that, as well as dry run).

Good luck!  You’ll be great!

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Jul 11, 2023 13:30:38 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I may or may not be standing in a super hero stance saying "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and darn it, people like me."

Which you are and we do. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Okay, I promise I read the United website first and then the TSA one. 
If I'm checking a bag, are there not restrictions on liquid? Like I can bring a regular size face wash? Or spray deoderant? Or a bottle of wine?
This is the actual site for me to go by, right? 

(I just don't fly very often and has only ever checked a bag once.)

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Billy Clubs
Carry On Bags: No
Checked Bags: Yes


Who walks around with a billy club much less flies on an airplane with one!
I should stay home!

[chiver78]

Jul 11, 2023 13:56:08 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Okay, I promise I read the United website first and then the TSA one. 
If I'm checking a bag, are there not restrictions on liquid? Like I can bring a regular size face wash? Or spray deoderant? Or a bottle of wine?
This is the actual site for me to go by, right? 

(I just don't fly very often and has only ever checked a bag once.)

you can check whatever liquid size you like, that fits in your luggage. I'd suggest packing these things inside secure Ziploc bags (ask me why I offer this PSA...  ) but there's no size restriction in checked luggage. 

and yes, that is the appropriate site to look for restrictions. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jul 11, 2023 13:30:38 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I may or may not be standing in a super hero stance saying "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and darn it, people like me."

Who knew Stuart Smalley was ahead of his time. 

I need to consider if I want to show interest in a project.  Our new top Boss has all this things he wants accomplished but needs teams and we are welcome to volunteer.  I am considering looking into the customer complaint team.   I have done A LOT of customer service in my lifetime and it would be a new set of soft skills to put on my resume and get me in front of different people.

But there is the fact my current job still needs done.  They don't really have any indication of how much of a time commitment this will be.  I know top boss has said that is for our department managers to figure out, which is true but lab work is unique in the regard you can come back to a real clusterf*ck if someone who doesn't know what they are doing is plopped into your positon.

Still I'm turning 40 in December my ass needs to start thinking and trying to plan for the next phase of my career.  

Maybe I should focus on getting through tomorrow's interview and then start looking into other irons I can throw into the fire.

[wvugurl26]

I guess I'm going to need a new air cleaner. I hadn't used mine in a couple of years. I dug it out of the basement complete with new filter due to the wildfires. Apparently G type filters no longer exist. I hate this kind of crap.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Jul 11, 2023 14:08:22 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

I guess I'm going to need a new air cleaner. I hadn't used mine in a couple of years. I dug it out of the basement complete with new filter due to the wildfires. Apparently G type filters no longer exist. I hate this kind of crap.

It's Prime Day. Maybe check there?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jul 11, 2023 13:59:36 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Billy Clubs
Carry On Bags: No
Checked Bags: Yes


Who walks around with a billy club much less flies on an airplane with one!
I should stay home!

I want to know why they specify lawn mowers are not allowed as carry ons.

I also noticed they do not say I cannot have an emotional support tiger with me on the plane. 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Jul 11, 2023 14:15:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I want to know why they specify lawn mowers are not allowed as carry ons.

I'm guessing because at some point in history, some moron tried to do so.

[countrygirl2]

I'm not sure this was a good move. DIL is mad at son over money, I said I wasn't getting involved, but I told him he needs to explain where its going, so she can understand. I tried explaining too, she just gets mad and says he doesn't want her to spend anything. I made that mistake today of getting involved. She hung up on me and was already mad at son, so mad at me too. He said she just can't understand credit cards, investments and stuff and he gets frustrated trying to explain. I tried a bit, no good. She tells me at my age we should spend anything and everything I want. Uhh, no, one of us could live a lot of years yet or not and I don't want to live in poverty. We are moderate and we spent over $100k to get this up here. She is happy when we give them money, I think it's time we just plain stopped.

I'm staying out of this mess, I said I would and in trying to help slipped. I need to watch it as hard telling what she could say about me.

Grandson is wanting to go to Indiana so he can visit with grandpa too and son said I doubt I can get her to do that right now. I said the end of the month would be fine.

I doubt I end up here for long, don't think this is going to work.

All I called her for was to get her to go to the coast with us tomorrow and she said she couldn't afford it. She wanted to go to Texas with her friend (that borrows money from her when they get broke) and now is embarrassed because she can't afford to go? She isn't happy when she is there either, I kept little guy last year so she could go. She said she wasn't going to argue?? she was the one made and ranting not me. So I'm taking the kids to the coast. Everyone coddles her and lets her have her way, think she has gotten used to getting her way by doing that and I think son has gotten tired, just a guess, but I am getting tired of catering to someone. They even had little guy because she threatened to leave him if she didn't have a child. He thought he was to old, but he did and they had to use IVF to have him. Then he is sick a lot and she doesn't like that. What a mess, if he was not a part of it I wouldn't care what happened. But I worry about him and love him beyond reason. A divorce would destroy that little boy I fear.

She started about their crummy house, she and son decided they would pick it out on their own because hubs made sure the last one they got was in really good shape, it was. And they picked this one out that needed a lot, but it would not have mattered.

Keep in mind her sister has been married 3 times and this guy she is married to now is super but she isn't real happy with him. Son would go crazy if he lost his son and I'm afraid she would hold it over him and bleed him dry. I know nothing I can do would help or be right so maybe I just need to go back home and hope we get to see him.

It sounds like to me little guy wanted to come down and she wanted him in soccer is what I'm getting the drift of now. He just isn't into sports, they have tried several things already. But he does need to be with other kids.

[wvugurl26]

I have to assume these things are listed because someone tried it? I did have a lovely conversation with my FIL earlier this year that the rules said no cigar lighters period. He swore he took one before. Buy a new one in Florida and leave it at your daughter's house.

[Cookies Galore]

Jul 11, 2023 14:15:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Jul 11, 2023 13:59:36 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Billy Clubs
Carry On Bags: No
Checked Bags: Yes


Who walks around with a billy club much less flies on an airplane with one!
I should stay home!

I want to know why they specify lawn mowers are not allowed as carry ons.

I also noticed they do not say I cannot have an emotional support tiger with me on the plane. 

Because someone somewhere tried. Get that tiger.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jul 11, 2023 14:26:40 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Jul 11, 2023 14:15:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I want to know why they specify lawn mowers are not allowed as carry ons.

I also noticed they do not say I cannot have an emotional support tiger with me on the plane. 

Because someone somewhere tried. Get that tiger.

I know but I want the backstory.  Who decided it was a great idea to try to carry on a lawnmower, what was their logic?

Probably the same person that made it so they have to tell you don't use a lawn mower on your roof in the user's manual. 

[MarionTh230]

The best piece of advice my parent ever gave me was also the worst piece of advice.  My parent said, you are both adults.  You both chose to marry each other.  Now you two figure it out.

Which sucks when you want to complain about your spouse and have your parent give you a sympathetic ear.  On the flip side, it's very true.  DH and I chose to be married to each other - good, bad, or ugly.  It wasn't my parents job to fix that.  It was my job to fix it.  And DH's.  

At the end of the day CG, your son and DIL will either stay married or they won't.  Nothing you can do about it either way.  Staying out of it is the best thing you can do.  Maybe your DIL is off her rocker?  I don't know, I don't know the woman.  Maybe your son is being whiny because it's too frustrating to explain finances to his wife.  I don't know, I don't know the man.  But, they chose to marry each other and have a child together.  They are adults.  They can either figure it out or they can't.  Staying out of it is indeed the wisest choice.  There's no winning being the third person in the middle of married people's arguments.

Don't let it worry you so much that it puts a damper on your time with your grandson.  No matter what happens - or doesn't happen - enjoy the time you can spend with him being his Grandma.  That's really the only thing that matters anyways.  And it is the only thing you can actually control.  Focus on that and enjoy the kids tomorrow on the coast!  It sounds like you have a really fun day planned, so I hope you three have an absolute blast!

[jerseygirl]

Jul 11, 2023 14:20:39 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I'm not sure this was a good move. DIL is mad at son over money, I said I wasn't getting involved, but I told him he needs to explain where its going, so she can understand. I tried explaining too, she just gets mad and says he doesn't want her to spend anything. I made that mistake today of getting involved. She hung up on me and was already mad at son, so mad at me too. He said she just can't understand credit cards, investments and stuff and he gets frustrated trying to explain. I tried a bit, no good. She tells me at my age we should spend anything and everything I want. Uhh, no, one of us could live a lot of years yet or not and I don't want to live in poverty. We are moderate and we spent over $100k to get this up here. She is happy when we give them money, I think it's time we just plain stopped.

I'm staying out of this mess, I said I would and in trying to help slipped. I need to watch it as hard telling what she could say about me.

Grandson is wanting to go to Indiana so he can visit with grandpa too and son said I doubt I can get her to do that right now. I said the end of the month would be fine.

I doubt I end up here for long, don't think this is going to work.

All I called her for was to get her to go to the coast with us tomorrow and she said she couldn't afford it. She wanted to go to Texas with her friend (that borrows money from her when they get broke) and now is embarrassed because she can't afford to go? She isn't happy when she is there either, I kept little guy last year so she could go. She said she wasn't going to argue?? she was the one made and ranting not me. So I'm taking the kids to the coast. Everyone coddles her and lets her have her way, think she has gotten used to getting her way by doing that and I think son has gotten tired, just a guess, but I am getting tired of catering to someone. They even had little guy because she threatened to leave him if she didn't have a child. He thought he was to old, but he did and they had to use IVF to have him. Then he is sick a lot and she doesn't like that. What a mess, if he was not a part of it I wouldn't care what happened. But I worry about him and love him beyond reason. A divorce would destroy that little boy I fear.

She started about their crummy house, she and son decided they would pick it out on their own because hubs made sure the last one they got was in really good shape, it was. And they picked this one out that needed a lot, but it would not have mattered.

Keep in mind her sister has been married 3 times and this guy she is married to now is super but she isn't real happy with him. Son would go crazy if he lost his son and I'm afraid she would hold it over him and bleed him dry. I know nothing I can do would help or be right so maybe I just need to go back home and hope we get to see him.

It sounds like to me little guy wanted to come down and she wanted him in soccer is what I'm getting the drift of now. He just isn't into sports, they have tried several things already. But he does need to be with other kids.

You’re right to not get involved. Also dont get overthinking and worrying about these two adults. Arguments happen, doesn’t mean the worst will happen.
When Jerseyguy and I were first married my mom would find out about little things - like me not buying something that she thought I should. She would get into what I thought of a ‘soap opera mode’ . She’d try to get me involved in what she considered a problem. Nope I’m fine. Mom stop Eventually she stopped.

Now that you’re closer in distance to your son and DIL you might be more likely to get involved even if it’s only you thinking and worrying

[countrygirl2]

I just hate to see someone like her be so miserable. I know my son, he never complains just like his dad. I also know he is likely frustrating about money, but I do believe he has tried to explain to her. He said she never had credit cards or money to invest, but wouldn't she be able to learn? I have tried to explain, but you have to be receptive. Maybe go to a basic finance class or something would help. Son rarely goes anywhere, he goes for a week a year with his friends from Korea, all guys. and he went a couple of days with some up here, that is out of the norm.

I also know that if I have anything to do with it, the money we have will be put in trust for grandson. He may waste it, I don't know what he will be like at that time, but I know if it goes to DIL it will be wasted.

My son will do anything to keep from getting divorced, he has been married twice so he is far from perfect too, but he has changed tons since having little guy.And now he has more to lose. He told me one time if this doesn't work out he will never marry again, this was years ago.

I have bent over backwards to be nice to her in every way I can. I am a very patient person but its running out. Hanging up on someone because you are mad at the world is incredibly rude. I try to be her sounding board and not judge, but I'm about done.

I am beginning to think the woman has mental issues, I hope I'm wrong. Maybe she just needs someone that parties all the time. That is what they did before they had him, but she wasn't happy than either. I would have not let someone threaten me with divorce to have a child, that would have been a definite no.

I think if she could run and party all the time she would be fine. Son can't, he has a very responsible job, he said its even hard for him to take off all the time he is allowed to.

Again my son is far from perfect, but none of us are perfect. I don't know how long we will have this place here, hubs seems to be getting frustrated already with me gone. I know he needs help in finishing that house and getting the other one ready to rent. We are only keeping the 3. PO which I have already fixed, his folks house which has a decent renter and the trailer in the back. We could sell it but sure is handy to have the extra income, it has affected our finances already.

I would just die if I couldn't maintain contact with little guy but I'm not being held hostage for that. If it comes to it I will do it, it will likely kill me, but life is full of things like that. I hope we are a good influence on him, and I have worried about him. So far he is a sweet little kid, but I wonder if he appreciates the peace of our homes. I asked something about school one time and he said I don't know grandma and its none of my business. Quite an adult answer, so hope he has a good little head on his shoulders.

Ok, we are off to buy him some pants and a jacket for him. It will be cold in the morning, I will take shorts for him too if he needs them. I guess his mom will stay home and sulk. Sorry about that.

[busymom]

I don't even want to fly anymore.  Ever.  I've heard too many stories from friends about serious delays, or problems with other passengers.  And now, there's a Facebook post from a travel company that's based in my old Florida neighborhood.  They pick up people evenings at the airport, every day, and they can't even remember the last time that the later in the day flights showed up on time, so all they do is wait.  

[chiver78]

"Hanging up on someone because you are mad at the world is incredibly rude."

I agree, but we all have our days. if this is out of character for her, I'd give her a pass on this one. I personally am not handling life very well these days, and I've been pretty snippy in some interactions. I know that's on me, but I also know that it's not normally how I am. I hope my loved ones can give me some grace as I work through some shit (that I haven't aired on this board...)

just my two cents. hugs to you.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

IDK I'd stay out of it but there is a middle ground between her wanting to "spend everything" as you put it and your son working so hard to pay off the mortgage sooner rather than later. 

He seems to have picked up your fear of spending any kind of money that isn't for practical things. . .like paying down the mortgage.  He also seems to have inherited his father's traits of always working.

Which aren't bad things in and of themselves but if your spouse isn't the same type of personality it can clash.

And I understand her point about spending in retirement.  My grandmother did absolute jack shit for most of her life except save and now all she has to show for it is every dime going to the nursing home.  Yeah yeah I get it she had her gold plated YM card in that she hoarded every penny and jealously guarded her credit score but for what?   Yes she got into the home but she has no life to show for it.

I don't want to be the old person in the home that says "Well at least I saved!" on my death bed.  I don't want to be my GU either but there is a middle ground.

Same for your grandson.  I loathe sports.  LOATHE them.   I am not that type of person I would much rather be in a corner reading a book.  I grew up perfectly normal and can handle functioning in society without doing those things as kids.  I got plenty of interaction at school.  I found my niche come HS when I joined drama.  Some people just don't take to those kinds of things or maybe come into them late in life.   Forcing kids to do those does the exact opposite of what you intended.

Has anyone asked him what HE might like to do?  I have my limits but in general I let the girls take the lead on what they want to try.

[MarionTh230]

It's not your job to make your DIL happy.  It's not your job to make your son happy either.  You need to stop letting either one of them vent, share, rant, etc about the issues they are having with each other. 

Just tell them simply, you don't want to hear it.  You love them both and hope they can work it out between themselves, but you don't wish to hear it.  And move the conversation on to a happy topic.  Redirect.  

You are going to make yourself sick with worry at the rate you are going.  That's not good for you CG.  

[MarionTh230]

Jul 11, 2023 15:38:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

IDK I'd stay out of it but there is a middle ground between her wanting to "spend everything" as you put it and your son working so hard to pay off the mortgage sooner rather than later. 

He seems to have picked up your fear of spending any kind of money that isn't for practical things. . .like paying down the mortgage.  He also seems to have inherited his father's traits of always working.

Which aren't bad things in and of themselves but if your spouse isn't the same type of personality it can clash.

And I understand her point about spending in retirement.  My grandmother did absolute jack shit for most of her life except save and now all she has to show for it is every dime going to the nursing home.  Yeah yeah I get it she had her gold plated YM card in that she hoarded every penny and jealously guarded her credit score but for what?   Yes she got into the home but she has no life to show for it.

I don't want to be the old person in the home that says "Well at least I saved!" on my death bed.  I don't want to be my GU either but there is a middle ground.

Same for your grandson.  I loathe sports.  LOATHE them.   I am not that type of person I would much rather be in a corner reading a book.  I grew up perfectly normal and can handle functioning in society without doing those things as kids.  I got plenty of interaction at school.  I found my niche come HS when I joined drama.   Not everyone has to participate in classes and be scheduled to become socialized.  If he doesn't want to do it don't make him that's how you teach a kid to hate something. 

Has anyone asked him what HE might like to do?  I have my limits but in general I let the girls take the lead on what they want to try.

Kiddo just turned 7.  She has been telling us what SHE wants to do since she was 3!  Dance.  And eventually the martial arts got added last year.

I mean, her and that fishing thing is how we ended up on our spring break adventure.  She said she wanted to go fishing.  So we did.

[raeoflyte]

Jul 11, 2023 15:39:43 GMT -5 MarionTh230 said:

It's not your job to make your DIL happy.  It's not your job to make your son happy either.  You need to stop letting either one of them vent, share, rant, etc about the issues they are having with each other. 

Just tell them simply, you don't want to hear it.  You love them both and hope they can work it out between themselves, but you don't wish to hear it.  And move the conversation on to a happy topic.  Redirect.  

You are going to make yourself sick with worry at the rate you are going.  That's not good for you CG.  

I think this is key. Tell them you worry when you hear about their arguing and can't turn it off so you're asking them not to share that stuff.

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2023 15:25:24 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I just hate to see someone like her be so miserable. I know my son, he never complains just like his dad. I also know he is likely frustrating about money, but I do believe he has tried to explain to her. He said she never had credit cards or money to invest, but wouldn't she be able to learn? I have tried to explain, but you have to be receptive. Maybe go to a basic finance class or something would help. Son rarely goes anywhere, he goes for a week a year with his friends from Korea, all guys. and he went a couple of days with some up here, that is out of the norm.

I also know that if I have anything to do with it, the money we have will be put in trust for grandson. He may waste it, I don't know what he will be like at that time, but I know if it goes to DIL it will be wasted.

My son will do anything to keep from getting divorced, he has been married twice so he is far from perfect too, but he has changed tons since having little guy.And now he has more to lose. He told me one time if this doesn't work out he will never marry again, this was years ago.

I have bent over backwards to be nice to her in every way I can. I am a very patient person but its running out. Hanging up on someone because you are mad at the world is incredibly rude. I try to be her sounding board and not judge, but I'm about done.

I am beginning to think the woman has mental issues, I hope I'm wrong. Maybe she just needs someone that parties all the time. That is what they did before they had him, but she wasn't happy than either. I would have not let someone threaten me with divorce to have a child, that would have been a definite no.

I think if she could run and party all the time she would be fine. Son can't, he has a very responsible job, he said its even hard for him to take off all the time he is allowed to.

Again my son is far from perfect, but none of us are perfect. I don't know how long we will have this place here, hubs seems to be getting frustrated already with me gone. I know he needs help in finishing that house and getting the other one ready to rent. We are only keeping the 3. PO which I have already fixed, his folks house which has a decent renter and the trailer in the back. We could sell it but sure is handy to have the extra income, it has affected our finances already.

I would just die if I couldn't maintain contact with little guy but I'm not being held hostage for that. If it comes to it I will do it, it will likely kill me, but life is full of things like that. I hope we are a good influence on him, and I have worried about him. So far he is a sweet little kid, but I wonder if he appreciates the peace of our homes. I asked something about school one time and he said I don't know grandma and its none of my business. Quite an adult answer, so hope he has a good little head on his shoulders.

Ok, we are off to buy him some pants and a jacket for him. It will be cold in the morning, I will take shorts for him too if he needs them. I guess his mom will stay home and sulk. Sorry about that.

Well, nothing cements a relationship with one's offspring like giving them the middle finger by bypassing them financially.  Isn't your son the person you wanted to be responsible for oversight of your, your husband's and your daughter's wellbeing in a care home situation?  I'm sure he'll be highly motivated to take that on when he's overlooked in your estate planning.  If he holds your medical POA, you might want to rethink that before you cut him out of an inheritance.

ETA to add:  Why are you wanting to take out your anger at your DIL on your son?  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jul 11, 2023 15:41:42 GMT -5 MarionTh230 said:

Jul 11, 2023 15:38:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

IDK I'd stay out of it but there is a middle ground between her wanting to "spend everything" as you put it and your son working so hard to pay off the mortgage sooner rather than later. 

He seems to have picked up your fear of spending any kind of money that isn't for practical things. . .like paying down the mortgage.  He also seems to have inherited his father's traits of always working.

Which aren't bad things in and of themselves but if your spouse isn't the same type of personality it can clash.

And I understand her point about spending in retirement.  My grandmother did absolute jack shit for most of her life except save and now all she has to show for it is every dime going to the nursing home.  Yeah yeah I get it she had her gold plated YM card in that she hoarded every penny and jealously guarded her credit score but for what?   Yes she got into the home but she has no life to show for it.

I don't want to be the old person in the home that says "Well at least I saved!" on my death bed.  I don't want to be my GU either but there is a middle ground.

Same for your grandson.  I loathe sports.  LOATHE them.   I am not that type of person I would much rather be in a corner reading a book.  I grew up perfectly normal and can handle functioning in society without doing those things as kids.  I got plenty of interaction at school.  I found my niche come HS when I joined drama.   Not everyone has to participate in classes and be scheduled to become socialized.  If he doesn't want to do it don't make him that's how you teach a kid to hate something. 

Has anyone asked him what HE might like to do?  I have my limits but in general I let the girls take the lead on what they want to try.

Kiddo just turned 7.  She has been telling us what SHE wants to do since she was 3!  Dance.  And eventually the martial arts got added last year.

I mean, her and that fishing thing is how we ended up on our spring break adventure.  She said she wanted to go fishing.  So we did.

Gwen has done dance she she was 6.  She started cello in middle school and choir.  She has dabbled in theater.  She tried track.   

It's so much easier for her to explore in middle school through the school compared to me having to research, sign her up, drive her and pay for everything.

[Pink Cashmere]

Jul 11, 2023 15:38:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

IDK I'd stay out of it but there is a middle ground between her wanting to "spend everything" as you put it and your son working so hard to pay off the mortgage sooner rather than later. 

He seems to have picked up your fear of spending any kind of money that isn't for practical things. . .like paying down the mortgage.  He also seems to have inherited his father's traits of always working.

Which aren't bad things in and of themselves but if your spouse isn't the same type of personality it can clash.

And I understand her point about spending in retirement.  My grandmother did absolute jack shit for most of her life except save and now all she has to show for it is every dime going to the nursing home.  Yeah yeah I get it she had her gold plated YM card in that she hoarded every penny and jealously guarded her credit score but for what?   Yes she got into the home but she has no life to show for it.

I don't want to be the old person in the home that says "Well at least I saved!" on my death bed.  I don't want to be my GU either but there is a middle ground.

Same for your grandson.  I loathe sports.  LOATHE them.   I am not that type of person I would much rather be in a corner reading a book.  I grew up perfectly normal and can handle functioning in society without doing those things as kids.  I got plenty of interaction at school.  I found my niche come HS when I joined drama.  Some people just don't take to those kinds of things or maybe come into them late in life.   Forcing kids to do those does the exact opposite of what you intended.

Has anyone asked him what HE might like to do?  I have my limits but in general I let the girls take the lead on what they want to try.

He’s said what he wanted to do this summer IIRC. He wanted to go to Indiana and do stuff with his Grandfather.

I have a coworker who has a grand plan for preparing for his retirement. It involves working every hour of OT he can, and keeping his bills so low that I say his wife can barely turn a light on in peace and he was bitching about some bug deterrent thing she plugged up, running up their utility bill.

Which means his wife, who moved here to be with him, doesn’t do much because he’s always working or tired from working. And it would piss me off for my husband to go to the lengths he does to keep the energy costs low. Besides the lights, all electronics are plugged into power strips that are unplugged when not in use. So if she wants to watch tv, she has to wait forever for everything to boot up. 

I agree with him that she is materialistic, but I finally asked him if this master plan to gear up for his retirement was just his plan, or their plan, that they had sat down and talked about. It’s his plan. Which I don’t think is fair, given that the lady can’t even turn a damn light on in her home.Or spend time with her husband.

All that to say, maybe CG’s son needs to talk to his wife and explain why paying the mortgage off asap is so important to him, and how that will positively affect their cash flow once it’s done. And maybe they can find a middle ground about the timeline for paying the mortgage off, that they are both okay with. And maybe she will feel like she understands what he’s trying to do and why, and he’s not just being an asshole by not letting her spend however much money she wants to….. and most importantly, she might feel like she has a say in the financial decisions being made in her marriage. She might still genuinely not care about any of that and still want to spend more and more money, but I think it’s the right thing to do to at least try to have the conversation with her. Just my opinion.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Jul 11, 2023 13:56:08 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Okay, I promise I read the United website first and then the TSA one. 
If I'm checking a bag, are there not restrictions on liquid? Like I can bring a regular size face wash? Or spray deoderant? Or a bottle of wine?
This is the actual site for me to go by, right? 

(I just don't fly very often and has only ever checked a bag once.)

No restrictions on liquids in a checked bag.  How else do we get 8 bottles of scotch back?

[MarionTh230]

Jul 11, 2023 16:02:59 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Jul 11, 2023 15:38:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

IDK I'd stay out of it but there is a middle ground between her wanting to "spend everything" as you put it and your son working so hard to pay off the mortgage sooner rather than later. 

He seems to have picked up your fear of spending any kind of money that isn't for practical things. . .like paying down the mortgage.  He also seems to have inherited his father's traits of always working.

Which aren't bad things in and of themselves but if your spouse isn't the same type of personality it can clash.

And I understand her point about spending in retirement.  My grandmother did absolute jack shit for most of her life except save and now all she has to show for it is every dime going to the nursing home.  Yeah yeah I get it she had her gold plated YM card in that she hoarded every penny and jealously guarded her credit score but for what?   Yes she got into the home but she has no life to show for it.

I don't want to be the old person in the home that says "Well at least I saved!" on my death bed.  I don't want to be my GU either but there is a middle ground.

Same for your grandson.  I loathe sports.  LOATHE them.   I am not that type of person I would much rather be in a corner reading a book.  I grew up perfectly normal and can handle functioning in society without doing those things as kids.  I got plenty of interaction at school.  I found my niche come HS when I joined drama.  Some people just don't take to those kinds of things or maybe come into them late in life.   Forcing kids to do those does the exact opposite of what you intended.

Has anyone asked him what HE might like to do?  I have my limits but in general I let the girls take the lead on what they want to try.

He’s said what he wanted to do this summer IIRC. He wanted to go to Indiana and do stuff with his Grandfather.

I have a coworker who has a grand plan for preparing for his retirement. It involves working every hour of OT he can, and keeping his bills so low that I say his wife can barely turn a light on in peace and he was bitching about some bug deterrent thing she plugged up, running up their utility bill.

Which means his wife, who moved here to be with him, doesn’t do much because he’s always working or tired from working. And it would piss me off for my husband to go to the lengths he does to keep the energy costs low. Besides the lights, all electronics are plugged into power strips that are unplugged when not in use. So if she wants to watch tv, she has to wait forever for everything to boot up. 

I agree with him that she is materialistic, but I finally asked him if this master plan to gear up for his retirement was just his plan, or their plan, that they had sat down and talked about. It’s his plan. Which I don’t think is fair, given that the lady can’t even turn a damn light on in her home.Or spend time with her husband.

All that to say, maybe CG’s son needs to talk to his wife and explain why paying the mortgage off asap is so important to him, and how that will positively affect their cash flow once it’s done. And maybe they can find a middle ground about the timeline for paying the mortgage off, that they are both okay with. And maybe she will feel like she understands what he’s trying to do and why, and he’s not just being an asshole by not letting her spend however much money she wants to….. and most importantly, she might feel like she has a say in the financial decisions being made in her marriage. She might still genuinely not care about any of that and still want to spend more and more money, but I think it’s the right thing to do to at least try to have the conversation with her. Just my opinion.

CG mentioned that her son said DIL doesn't understand finances so he gets frustrated.  Which is why she offered to help.  Which is how she got in the middle of this mess.

Doesn't matter how frustrated he gets.  He needs to try again.  And again.  And again.  For as long as they remain husband and wife.  He picked her.  He married her.  He needs to keep trying until they understand each other or they decide to not be married to each other.  Having his mother explain finances to her DIL because everybody thinks DIL is overspending was a disaster waiting to happen.  There are entire portions of the internet dedicated to such horror stories.  It never ends well.

At the end of the day, CG should be enjoying her time with her DD and DGS.  Not dealing with grown adults who can't figure out how to get along because they are upset about money.  CG is going to worry herself sick if she keeps letting things go this way.  She shouldn't be worrying herself sick.  She should be hanging out with the DGS while she is there! 

[Peace77]

Jul 11, 2023 13:56:08 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Okay, I promise I read the United website first and then the TSA one. 
If I'm checking a bag, are there not restrictions on liquid? Like I can bring a regular size face wash? Or spray deoderant? Or a bottle of wine?
This is the actual site for me to go by, right? 

(I just don't fly very often and has only ever checked a bag once.)

You can’t bring a bottle of wine in your carry on bag.  And the way that baggage handlers throw luggage, I wouldn’t put it in a checked bag either.  
Best to buy wine after you land.