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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2023 18:47:22 GMT -5
One. More. Day. I start the closing process tomorrow at 4 o'clock when I officially sell my house. I will have the first load in the car when I head to the closing attorney's office tomorrow. It is such a late start, but I am determined to get some of this out of my living room as soon as possible. I know tomorrow will have some stress for you, but I'm so excited that you finally get to start a journey you have looked foward to for a very long time. Please take care of yourself as you move forward in your new home and we would love to see pics too
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 6, 2023 19:02:17 GMT -5
Gus got trimmed tonight. He was a shit...again. But at least it was a cool day and the farrier didn't leave pissed off like last time. He wants to see him again in another 4-5 weeks which seems so soon. idk what a normal frequency is, but LD's nails get ratchet if they aren't trimmed monthly at least. and then it becomes, you need to trim more frequently to dial back the quick. so maybe your farrier is in crisis mode and wants to be more proactive to get Gus back to maintenance mode? not sure the horse terminology, other than your posts. so, sorry if that doesn't totally make sense. 10-12 weeks for horses that aren't being worked much and have good feet which is the schedule most of the neighbors are on. If they have shoes or are worked a lot they need to be done more like every 6-8 weeks. He's trying to correct the rotation in his coffin bone, so he needs to stay on top of keeping the toes short. So, I understand why he wants to come back so soon, I'm just not looking forward to: 1. Trying to get him scheduled, and 2. My shithead of a horse that has decided farriers are evil. He may only be 300 pounds, but he can squirm and kick like nobody's business.
He thinks after next time we can draw it out longer, but we have to wait to see how fast he's growing.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jul 6, 2023 19:07:07 GMT -5
thanks for the explanation. I didn't understand half of it, but I think it sounds like what I said - fix the problem and you can go back to less frequent visits. I hope it all works out for you and Gus!
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 6, 2023 19:27:16 GMT -5
idk what a normal frequency is, but LD's nails get ratchet if they aren't trimmed monthly at least. and then it becomes, you need to trim more frequently to dial back the quick. so maybe your farrier is in crisis mode and wants to be more proactive to get Gus back to maintenance mode? not sure the horse terminology, other than your posts. so, sorry if that doesn't totally make sense. 10-12 weeks for horses that aren't being worked much and have good feet which is the schedule most of the neighbors are on. If they have shoes or are worked a lot they need to be done more like every 6-8 weeks. He's trying to correct the rotation in his coffin bone, so he needs to stay on top of keeping the toes short. So, I understand why he wants to come back so soon, I'm just not looking forward to: 1. Trying to get him scheduled, and 2. My shithead of a horse that has decided farriers are evil. He may only be 300 pounds, but he can squirm and kick like nobody's business.
He thinks after next time we can draw it out longer, but we have to wait to see how fast he's growing.
Fight has little to do with size. Gus is probably traumatized by the pain of correcting everything. Hope things improve for him soon.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 6, 2023 19:34:39 GMT -5
My grandmother's death was in part due to drug interactions. My parents actually had a malpractice case against her primary care physician if they had chosen to pursue it. At the time they settled for dropping all the bills but in hindsight my mom wished she had gone for blood. My MIL messed around a lot with her medications too. She was always on something and was playing around with not taking them as prescribed. I am hard pressed to believe that that didn't at least partly contribute to a lot of her health issues. I don't mess around with drug interactions. I will even consult about OTC medication now that I am on an anti-depressant. Found out Nyquil and most cough medicines are a no no if you are on anti-depressants. This was after my dumb ass husband nearly gave himself a heart attack doing exactly that.
There's a major class of anti-depressants that make tamoxifen useless. No one told me about that. And there are studies that point to the fact that it was the drug interaction that resulted in women getting breast cancer, again. I don't understand how the nurses couldn't even say "OK. You got the old school full compliment to keep you upright. here's what else you need to watch out for." Instead, I got told that I could start resuming my normal life, . To which I replied, "I was supposed to stop my life? Because I didn't."
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jul 6, 2023 19:41:01 GMT -5
My grandmother's death was in part due to drug interactions. My parents actually had a malpractice case against her primary care physician if they had chosen to pursue it. At the time they settled for dropping all the bills but in hindsight my mom wished she had gone for blood. My MIL messed around a lot with her medications too. She was always on something and was playing around with not taking them as prescribed. I am hard pressed to believe that that didn't at least partly contribute to a lot of her health issues. I don't mess around with drug interactions. I will even consult about OTC medication now that I am on an anti-depressant. Found out Nyquil and most cough medicines are a no no if you are on anti-depressants. This was after my dumb ass husband nearly gave himself a heart attack doing exactly that. You are wise because a lot of folks assume that OTC products including mineral and herbal supplements are magically exempt for the rules of interaction. They are not. Too many of my older friends with more $$ than sense keep looking for the fountain of youth by ordering this or that magic thing online, guaranteed to improve their memory, their sex drive, their skin tone, whatever. God alone knows what's in the pills in what quantity, much less how it will interact with other stuff. I'm not on any maintenance medications, but I have texted my pharmacist cousin more than once asking if I can take something with beer. 😁
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jul 6, 2023 19:42:40 GMT -5
I'm making a few more arrangements for a vacation DH and I are taking next week. It's a minor compared to what a lot of you do, but for us it's a lot.
We're going in an airplane!
Do any of you have a rental car company preference? I've personally rented one car in the last 20 years. I've done it a few times with work, but I didn't make the arrangements or spend the money. I like Hertz personally.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jul 6, 2023 19:47:54 GMT -5
Gus got trimmed tonight. He was a shit...again. But at least it was a cool day and the farrier didn't leave pissed off like last time. He wants to see him again in another 4-5 weeks which seems so soon. Do they have horse chill pills you can give him,or is it just an attitude? Jackson refuses nail trims with me because he's a dick. He'll let the groomer do it though with no problem.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 6, 2023 19:53:08 GMT -5
Gus got trimmed tonight. He was a shit...again. But at least it was a cool day and the farrier didn't leave pissed off like last time. He wants to see him again in another 4-5 weeks which seems so soon. Do they have horse chill pills you can give him,or is it just an attitude? Jackson refuses nail trims with me because he's a dick. He'll let the groomer do it though with no problem. It's attitude. The farrier said most minis have "Small Man Syndrome".
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jul 6, 2023 19:53:26 GMT -5
Gus got trimmed tonight. He was a shit...again. But at least it was a cool day and the farrier didn't leave pissed off like last time. He wants to see him again in another 4-5 weeks which seems so soon. idk what a normal frequency is, but LD's nails get ratchet if they aren't trimmed monthly at least. and then it becomes, you need to trim more frequently to dial back the quick. so maybe your farrier is in crisis mode and wants to be more proactive to get Gus back to maintenance mode? not sure the horse terminology, other than your posts. so, sorry if that doesn't totally make sense. Is that a pitbull thing? Luna's nails grow like no other! The twins hardly ever need nail trims, but Luna is on another level. It seems as soon as her nails are cut they are instantly long again. Of course only my vet can do it because she flops around like a fish out of water.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 6, 2023 19:54:53 GMT -5
Gus got trimmed tonight. He was a shit...again. But at least it was a cool day and the farrier didn't leave pissed off like last time. He wants to see him again in another 4-5 weeks which seems so soon. Have you had enough rain to make his hooves a little softer? Sorry Gus was a shit and glad that the farrier wasn't. I know that 4-5 weeks is another financial hit for you, but hopefully this will see the worst of the Amish damage corrected so he'll be more comfortable They were better, but probably more due to the stuff I've been putting on them everyday then the rain since we only had that one day and no mud to be found. He told me to start flooding his pen, so I'll probably start doing that.
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susana1954
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Post by susana1954 on Jul 6, 2023 19:57:52 GMT -5
idk what a normal frequency is, but LD's nails get ratchet if they aren't trimmed monthly at least. and then it becomes, you need to trim more frequently to dial back the quick. so maybe your farrier is in crisis mode and wants to be more proactive to get Gus back to maintenance mode? not sure the horse terminology, other than your posts. so, sorry if that doesn't totally make sense. Is that a pitbull thing? Luna's nails grow like no other! The twins hardly ever need nail trims, but Luna is on another level. It seems as soon as her nails are cut they are instantly long again. Of course only my vet can do it because she flops around like a fish out of water. Penny is a Min Pin mix, and her nails get really long. I try to have them done every 5-6 weeks, and that is sometimes stretching it. Meanwhile, Abby, the cocker spaniel, had slow-growing nails. We had her groomed every 3 months, including nails. They eat the same food so it isn't a nutritional thing.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jul 6, 2023 20:09:14 GMT -5
This is Mister’s weekend with Kiddo, and he’s also bringing his Dad over here. He’s trying to get them on the same schedule so he has a free weekend.
I don’t know that I can even be nice to his Dad now, because I’m still pissed off about how rude he was to my daughter and grandchildren last weekend. Even though I don’t want to be, I am still angry about that. I don’t do well pretending I don’t feel a certain way about a person, normally I don’t even try, and I’m not inclined to try with him.
DD and DS have always liked him, that’s why DD was taken aback when she came back over here and he told her they needed to go somewhere else and be quiet because he was trying to take a nap. In the den. She didn’t pay much attention the first time he said it, she was telling him how they’d just got back from swimming and the kids had a lot of fun. Then he said again that they needed to go somewhere else and be quiet and laid his head back on the back of the sofa and closed his eyes, like he’d dropped the mic and that was the end of it. So DD came back out on the deck and told DGD1, who was going inside “Do not go in there”. Then he was nasty the way he told my grandchildren to get away from the table in the breakfast nook because he was eating and they were playing with slime. They told him I’d said they could play with it there, and he said he didn’t care, go away with it. At least they clean up after themselves on table, he leaves his plates and trash for somebody else to deal with.
Then he came to the sliding door a few hours later, while we were on the deck, saying he heard some loud music, where was it coming from. It was actually Mister playing music and banging on his drums. And so.fucking.what?! It wasn’t even dark yet, or close to the “quiet time” I insist on having in my home because Mister and I have to get up so early to go to work. The quiet time that he has ignored.
I’d already started not wanting to deal with him, or wanting him in my home because he’s messy and an asshole, and a liability because of the way he gossips and the lies he tells, and now I feel like being petty. Which I’m not proud of, but whatever. Your grown ass is gonna be uncomfortable in my home before I let you cause me to be uncomfortable in my home.
And what you’re NOT gonna do is be nasty and rude to my children and grandchildren. And I mean that. You’re better off being nasty and rude to me, which ain’t gon fly either.
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cooper88
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Post by cooper88 on Jul 6, 2023 20:13:06 GMT -5
So a few months ago I was at the Home Depot garden center with my little dog. An older lady stopped to pet her and we started chatting. I casually mentioned that I was low key looking for a companion for her, since she lives in a home with humans and cats but no other dogs. She took my name and phone number, since she occasionally comes across pets that need a home. She used to be involved with a rescue group.
She called me today. Someone she knows died and left two cats and three dogs. The cats have found a home. The tiny dogs are a bonded pair and have probably found a home. The one dog that's left is about thirty pounds and well behaved. I'm hopefully going to see him this weekend when his family is better able to deal with all the affairs they are having to deal with. Anyway, fingers crossed that he will be a good fit for our home!
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 6, 2023 20:37:54 GMT -5
I'm hoping I might be able to actually sleep through the night. Wednesday, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I might be getting a migraine. This morning, I woke up way early formulating second interview questions.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jul 6, 2023 21:10:59 GMT -5
I'm making a few more arrangements for a vacation DH and I are taking next week. It's a minor compared to what a lot of you do, but for us it's a lot.
We're going in an airplane!
Do any of you have a rental car company preference? I've personally rented one car in the last 20 years. I've done it a few times with work, but I didn't make the arrangements or spend the money. We've had pretty good experiences with Enterprise. Ever tried them?
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jul 7, 2023 1:34:57 GMT -5
I don't know what caused my issues but its stopped. Likely all the foods I ate. The BIL brought these huge steaks and they were delicious but I couldn't eat much of them and felt bad. And I tried to eat a bit of what everyone brought. It was just too much, so I think I made myself sick. I've had the constipation issue and diarrhea issue ever since I had my gall bladder out, the constipation problem I've had my whole life, so nothing new. I have always tried to find natural ways of dealing with it and not use laxatives, mom was dependent on them. But as I've gotten older its gotten harder to deal with. They have told me many times if I feel my weight is under control I can slack on the meds, its up to me. I wanted to reach 145 or 149 but don't think I can make it. I was wanting that weight so if I gained it wouldn't be to high, but 150 may be it. They said where I am or the 140 and in between was fine.
I have been fine since night before, so this time it was likely just to much food, sad, but true.
I am following docs instructions. All of my docs have lists of my meds and they are current. And many of them automatically load from the scrips at the pharmacy, so I'm pretty good on them. I read up on interactions to make sure I'm not getting something off.
I only have one med at CVS and that's because its a brand name I cannot get at Walmart. I prefer CVS in our town but the drug insurance I have this time is Cigna so I have to go to Walmart. They are ok, but I do think CVS there is more personal. They are the provider for DD and hubs. I had the new script for my thyroid and how I overlooked it I don't know, I'm pretty careful about that. But DD takes so many I suppose it was overlooked in the mass of pill bottles.
Well, time to go to bed. Little guy is in here and wrestling a stuffed animal all over, I'm about to throw the thing out the door. Why they give a huge pillow thing for him to sleep with is beyond me. He is always slinging the thing around until I make him put it down.
Son wanted to know why he wants to come to grandmas all the time, he thinks I'm letting him watch the goofy you tubes and play on the phone all the time. I am not. Tonight we were reading our books for a bit again, but I'm ready to go to bed.
We are going to see a movie tomorrow, Indiana Jones.
Someone told me about a good meat market up here, I need to know where it is again I want to try it.
Oh DD had sushi for dinner, and I had crab, the ones from Costco are good, I'm sure fresh are even better, but I'm happy with what I got.
Night all.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jul 7, 2023 3:15:49 GMT -5
Good morning, imaginative but not imaginary invisipeeps, come to life in my laptop. Welcome to Friday. I hope your day is smooth, easy and satisfying, and includes an opportunity to imbibe if that is your wont. Today I'll be dong the final preparations for the art show tomorrow. If I have time I'll color my hair. Am thinking about making a change in color and since hair grows faster in summer, I may do it next time. I have some strands of white hair emerging among the dark blond. It looks like highlights according to DSis. The heat some of you are experiencing must be exhausting. Since we are on the sea, we just don't get much above 80. Another reason I am so glad to live here now. The heat in Maryland was ennervating in the summer, where I would run to huddle around the a/c after going out. Yesterday I saw a fishing boat name Relentless returning with its catch. I like the blue it's painted.
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ners
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Post by ners on Jul 7, 2023 5:30:28 GMT -5
So happy it is Friday. Did not sleep well last night. finnime Hope the art show goes well.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Jul 7, 2023 5:59:51 GMT -5
One. More. Day. I start the closing process tomorrow at 4 o'clock when I officially sell my house. I will have the first load in the car when I head to the closing attorney's office tomorrow. It is such a late start, but I am determined to get some of this out of my living room as soon as possible. I know tomorrow will have some stress for you, but I'm so excited that you finally get to start a journey you have looked foward to for a very long time. Please take care of yourself as you move forward in your new home and we would love to see pics too susana1954 good luck today. Hope all goes well!
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jul 7, 2023 6:38:26 GMT -5
Advice needed. I have 2 daughters (grown), living I their own houses. DD1 and her DW have 3 small dogs, all over the age of 13 yrs. One had hip surgery a year ago, but still rarely uses his leg. Another has neurological issues, 16 yrs old and can barely walk, or even stand any more. She must be carried to go potty and back inside, and to get food and water, etc. The 3rd is in okay shape. They all take medications throughout the day, which have to be prepared. There's no doggy door, but there is a fenced yard. I have cared for them MANY times over the years, as well as other dogs DD1 has had and I house sit too. Most times things go smoothly, but it's a lot of work and a schedule I'm not used to. I'm getting older now and have multiple heart and other issues, so it has gotten hard for me to continue doing this. I don't enjoy it like I used to, because it's a lot of effort for me. I don't want to do it any more and have made that clear, since the last time I watched them this last winter. It was hard on me and my heart.
They have a trip to Croatia planned on the 18th, for a week. I thought by now, they would have another sitter booked. I just found out, they don't. They are still trying to guilt me into doing it for them.
DD2 and her husband, along with their kids and his family, are all going on another cruise for a week in December. They want me to house sit and take care of their cat while they're gone.
I don't want to do this again, either.
I don't want the responsibility, in either case. And I don't want to pack up and stay at someone else's house, taking care of their stuff, while mine gets left undone. It doesn't feel like a vacation to me. It's a lot more work than staying home.
Over the years when I had ferrets (one at a time), not once when I asked, did they agree to even come check on my ferret, and feed it, much less stay overnight.
They don't even come visit me. Not even for holidays.
Am I the AH for saying no, I can no longer continue being their go to person, for these situations? Since Dec. We have discussed my health and the troubles I have caring for their pets and homes alone, multiple times. They say they understand and they agree, when it comes to their sister. But they both expect me to to meet their needs, when the time comes.
No. It's time for them to start helping me, not me still taking care of their needs, I feel.
Have another family member, or friend do it, or board them. On the 4th, I finally brought up that they never helped me, when I needed it and asked. Which offended them.
But I'll be the bad guy, even if they find someone else. Probably because the other person will have boundries and expect payment. Won't spend 24/7 at their house, doing what they want, like I do.
I will feel guilty. They may not speak to me and be angry with me.
I feel taken advantage of. And my health is not good. But I've always been the one who has given in, so they expect me to do it. After all, I'm not dead yet.
Thoughts? Am I wrong? Since I've explained, I think, No, is all I need to say.
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Empire the P.A.
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Post by Empire the P.A. on Jul 7, 2023 6:42:45 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jul 7, 2023 6:43:43 GMT -5
Thanks. I appreciate your response.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jul 7, 2023 6:45:33 GMT -5
you are not wrong, at all. that's what makes me feel guilty about asking my mom to cover for me as often as I have. but in her case, she's escaping the hotel (yes, they still live there) and gives them a break from each other for a couple days. but, I also absolutely respect when she says no for whatever reason. they are both actually coming tonight til Sunday.
as far as the trip on the 18th, you've already told them no. time for them to figure it out that they need to plan better. if it costs them enough for last-minute care, would that make any difference in your boundaries sinking in?
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 7, 2023 6:46:35 GMT -5
toomuchreality. I bet next months SS check that if you say NO they will make other arrangements. I know it’s hard when it’s family but it’s your call to draw the line. I also know I’m not saying anything you don’t already know. Hugs to you regardless of your decision.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 7, 2023 6:48:25 GMT -5
Yes. This. Your boundaries /needs are important, too.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jul 7, 2023 6:49:43 GMT -5
toomuchreality, just say, No, I cannot do it. No more than that. Repeat if needed. Practice first if you feel it would help. No, I cannot. That's all. They are using you and you have in the past allowed it. Don't allow it any more. Prepare for arguing and recriminations, but remember: No, I can't.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 7, 2023 6:50:52 GMT -5
I really regret not buying a vacation home a few years ago. I'm hoping prices will settle again. And I really have very few regrets in life, so this is a big one.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jul 7, 2023 6:51:11 GMT -5
Advice needed. I have 2 daughters (grown), living I their own houses. DD1 and her DW have 3 small dogs, all over the age of 13 yrs. One had hip surgery a year ago, but still rarely uses his leg. Another has neurological issues, 16 yrs old and can barely walk, or even stand any more. She must be carried to go potty and back inside, and to get food and water, etc. The 3rd is in okay shape. They all take medications throughout the day, which have to be prepared. There's no doggy door, but there is a fenced yard. I have cared for them MANY times over the years, as well as other dogs DD1 has had and I house sit too. Most times things go smoothly, but it's a lot of work and a schedule I'm not used to. I'm getting older now and have multiple heart and other issues, so it has gotten hard for me to continue doing this. I don't enjoy it like I used to, because it's a lot of effort for me. I don't want to do it any more and have made that clear, since the last time I watched them this last winter. It was hard on me and my heart. They have a trip to Croatia planned on the 18th, for a week. I thought by now, they would have another sitter booked. I just found out, they don't. They are still trying to guilt me into doing it for them. DD2 and her husband, along with their kids and his family, are all going on another cruise for a week in December. They want me to house sit and take care of their cat while they're gone. I don't want to do this again, either. I don't want the responsibility, in either case. And I don't want to pack up and stay at someone else's house, taking care of their stuff, while mine gets left undone. It doesn't feel like a vacation to me. It's a lot more work than staying home. Over the years when I had ferrets (one at a time), not once when I asked, did they agree to even come check on my ferret, and feed it, much less stay overnight. They don't even come visit me. Not even for holidays. Am I the AH for saying no, I can no longer continue being their go to person, for these situations? Since Dec. We have discussed my health and the troubles I have caring for their pets and homes alone, multiple times. They say they understand and they agree, when it comes to their sister. But they both expect me to to meet their needs, when the time comes. No. It's time for them to start helping me, not me still taking care of their needs, I feel. Have another family member, or friend do it, or board them. On the 4th, I finally brought up that they never helped me, when I needed it and asked. Which offended them. But I'll be the bad guy, even if they find someone else. Probably because the other person will have boundries and expect payment. Won't spend 24/7 at their house, doing what they want, like I do. I will feel guilty. They may not speak to me and be angry with me. I feel taken advantage of. And my health is not good. But I've always been the one who has given in, so they expect me to do it. After all, I'm not dead yet. Thoughts? Am I wrong? Since I've explained, I think, No, is all I need to say. I'm sorry you are being taken advantage of and no one cares about anything except their needs. You are not being unreasonable at all. You laid out your very good reasons why you can't continue to help out months ago and they still expect you to cave in. They were offended when you called them out because they got caught being selfish. Be strong and continue to say no! My mom has been allowing her sisters to walk all over her, and I wish she had the ability to say no and mean it. Stay strong!
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,997
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jul 7, 2023 6:57:37 GMT -5
you are not wrong, at all. that's what makes me feel guilty about asking my mom to cover for me as often as I have. but in her case, she's escaping the hotel (yes, they still live there) and gives them a break from each other for a couple days. but, I also absolutely respect when she says no for whatever reason. they are both actually coming tonight til Sunday. as far as the trip on the 18th, you've already told them no. time for them to figure it out that they need to plan better. if it costs them enough for last-minute care, would that make any difference in your boundaries sinking in? They know the cost of care. That's why they keep pushing for me to do it. And their fear that the dog with neurological issues won't get the care she needs. But although I love them all and I do care, they're not my responsibility. DD1 and I had a major falling out a few years ago, when she went on a vacation in Costa Rica, and left her dying dog in my care. Then she wouldn't answer my calls, or return my messages, when I had questions about his care. Instead, she blamed me and came home early. The dog died Christmas night, which was just a few days later. I don't want to go through that again.
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