what are you doing right now?

[lurkyloo]

@stillmovingforward thinking of you guys and wishing your puppy a fast recovery 

[countrygirl2]

My grandson says he is bored. I told him if I ever said that growing up my folks would put me to work. I learned quickly to never say that though I felt that way often growing up. We lived in the country, so all I did was read or work. I guess it gave me a good work ethic but it sure never helped me to get along with other people.

I'm up earlier this morning at 9:30, going to try to work back until I can get up at, at least 8.  This has been a challenge for me all my life.  Being a night owl is awful when everyone else is not and life is not geared for us.

I have a few things to do up here before going downstairs again. Of course preparing breakfast is one. May whip up some belgian waffles, I have a mix I can fix.

I'm kicked back in my recliner with a light blanket and Tigger is asleep beside me. Smoke is on the other recliner looking over here periodically and then dozing with his eyes shut. I hear the birds up there again, I really need to see what is going on up there. Hope they haven't dug a hole in the vinyl or something.

We were talking here about not saying I'm alone. I dreamed I came home, didn't turn in, as there were a couple of big trucks here cleaning out the house.

I think I'm about to dose off, darn.

[raeoflyte]

I always tell my parents that the only possible correction I could give them about parenting is that they made being an adult look so easy. I remember the exact moment I realized I wasn't ever going to just know what to do/say (and I was 22, having lived on my own for 4 years already). I guess I really was expecting a manual.

Still at 43 I don't think I'm as grown up as my parents were in their 20's. Eventually I realized that life experiences matter more than age and I've been lucky enough to live a very easy life.

[Deleted]

May 21, 2023 19:40:01 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

May 21, 2023 17:02:47 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

You too?  That makes four of us from this board.

We really should have coordinated better!  How fun would that have been?

That would probably be more fun than Alaska allows 

[Deleted]

Happy Anniversary Artemis Windsong

[Opti]

The form is all about the text boxes. Making progress if slowly.

[Deleted]

May 21, 2023 21:28:18 GMT -5 bean29 said:

[mention]countrygirl2 [/mention] I saw on Facebook that you posted that DH is in Washington. I don’t think you should say that he is gone. My family generally does not post vacation pics until they return. I know you are still home, so house is not empty, but someone could still decide you and DD are an easy mark.

DH and I worked on our yard today. Yesterday was my FIL’s 81st Birthday Party. DH’s family is best in small doses, and most of us were also there last weekend for Mother ‘s Day.

Our yard needs a lot of work, but my DH works in his office for 4-6 hours nearly every Saturday. He did not work last Saturday and he will take June 3rd off for a party in Chicago. We just will keep at it little by little.

We bought new furniture and DH says it is there. We need to decide if we are replacing the flooring snd he wants to paint. He was talking about greys, but I swear I heard Greys are on their way out?

I've seen that too, but we still love our greys a lot.  We do have lots of white trim and a soft grey-purple accent here and there so it's not blah

[Opti]

May 22, 2023 9:13:06 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I always tell my parents that the only possible correction I could give them about parenting is that they made being an adult look so easy. I remember the exact moment I realized I wasn't ever going to just know what to do/say (and I was 22, having lived on my own for 4 years already). I guess I really was expecting a manual.

Still at 43 I don't think I'm as grown up as my parents were in their 20's. Eventually I realized that life experiences matter more than age and I've been lucky enough to live a very easy life.

My Dad's best friend rode the rails (i.e. trains) at age 14. Our families are still deeply connected although we are luckier now since dad is still alive. 

[Deleted]

stillmovingforward  Best wishes for you and your puppy - I hope he's back to full health soon

[Deleted]

finnime  Thank you for sharing your journey with depression so openly and clearly.  It helps us all to better understand the challenges and the treatments.  

[countrygirl2]

Now why is the front half of my right foot hurting this morning?
That foot hurts a lot but its generally the ankle and back half that kills me. Hope this isn't going to be another area that hurts me, but I'm thinking it has to do with the neuropathy in my legs

Goodness its 11 and we haven't even eaten breakfast yet.  I am being lazy, sigh.

[lurkyloo]

We work a lot more than my parents did, and don’t have a lakefront vacation cottage we can escape to for multiple weeks in the summer.  Dad was able to bring some work with him even in those days, while we played in the lake and picked wild raspberries and built campfires.  I ponder occasionally that I think DS has fewer privileges than I did growing up.

But, I’m also pretty sure I eclipsed my mother’s emotional development by the time I was about 25, so there’s that.  At this point I can accept that she tried and did her best, and mostly let go of frustration with always being lowest priority, without feeling obligated to subject myself to more of it.  She emailed me on Mother’s Day, largely to complain that she hadn’t heard from my brother 

So...at least DS has a slightly more stable mother, and home life?  I never complain about DH in front of DS (I rarely complain about DH period), and DH and I almost never argue much less fight.  And I’ve certainly never threatened suicide in front of DS    

And we do have a stream through the backyard with a firepit next to it, good for nearly endless entertainment.  I also think the ongoing construction site that should eventually be a pool might actually be more fun for him that the final product...right now he’s dug a hole/cave in one of the mounds of dirt and keeps building tiny fires in it and referring to it as his kiln 

[countrygirl2]

I went through I guess depression with my DD for years and didn't even realize what it was. I have no idea how I came out of it, but somehow I did.  Mostly telling myself I can be happy as I want to be. Read it somewhere and it hit home so I started applying it.

Not everyday is good but most are, I do feel for those trapped by depression, has to be horrible and I hope you can find peace.

[Sharon]

May 22, 2023 9:10:40 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

My grandson says he is bored. I told him if I ever said that growing up my folks would put me to work.

DD's 5th/6th grade teacher used to tell the kids that they couldn't say they were bored until they had done and seen everything in the whole world.  That there was always something more to see, do, and learn.  I'm not sure how much effect it had on the kids but it sure did on me. 

[stillmovingforward]

May 22, 2023 1:12:46 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

May 22, 2023 0:42:42 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

Is a 6 hour wait. But they said he seems stable and to let them know if he gets worse.

So we sit in the car and wait our turn. At least they ran some tests and triaged him and said he's stable.

OMG, I know you do what you need to do. But I just can't imagine sitting in my car for 6 hrs, waiting! Even without a pet. Much less, with a sick one.
Do you have the option of leaving and coming back? Maybe you live too far, or something. I was just curious if you even have that option? (Could leave and come back in 4 hours, so you don't lose your place in line, if they're ready for you sooner?)

My anxiety would get the best of me, within the 1st 15 minutes. If I was lucky, I might last half an hour. For real.

I'm glad they came and checked the dog out. And that they said he seems stable. I'm also glad they said to let them know, if he gets worse.

Are you still sitting in the parking lot, after midnight?
I hope not. I hope you both are back home, safe and sound now.

Holy crap. I'm so sorry!

(It's currently 12:12AM, Mountain Time, where I'm at.)

Thank you! We got home at 2:30am PST. He's got drugs and will be ok. No surgery needed. It was a combo of getting hurt and having a little virus and it all just overwhelmed his system.

You can leave for a little bit but they want you back at least an hour before your appt.

Remember, they are only an emergency clinic, not a walk-in clinic. No shots, well pet checks, etc. Just "my pet may not make it" emergencies.

[finnime]

I'm glad to hear it, stillmovingforward.

[giramomma]

May 22, 2023 8:46:52 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

May 22, 2023 8:18:43 GMT -5 giramomma said:

It's early.

I'm already bored. I've already navel-gazed. I can't find a cross stitch pattern and it is bothering me.

I don't remember ever, in my life feeling like it was hard being me. Not even when it should have been hard. I don't know why they don't tell you to expect feeling like this when you get middle aged.

I would have never told you to expect that because that has not been my experience at all.  I remember telling my grandmother I was bored one time when I was a kid and she asked me to explain what bored felt like because she had no clue.  I thought she was nuts at the time, but the older I get the more I understand!  I think I'm almost completely incapable of being bored at this point.

Not that I don't have other middle-aged issues. 

I really think it's dealing with the tedium of the must dos/have tos.

I'm not really bored because there is nothing to do.  I mean. I've still got a lot on my plate.

I never dared to tell my mom when I was bored. I was.  It was different though. I didn't have friends outside of school hours/structured activities. There weren't kids in the neighborhood. I wasn't really allowed to roam/go anywhere by myself. And my mom was iffy with her emotional availability. I was already cleaning the house and otherwise contributing to chores.  Playing by yourself/being by yourself gets old after a while, too, especially when you are a kid. Trust me, my stuffed animals and I had lots of exciting times when we played the Game of Life. And stuffed animals and soaps on tv aren't enough at some point.

I'm also processing a lot now. My wiring is being challenged. it's uncomfortable. It isn't logical and it doesn't make sense. Which, as a black and white thinker...it's tough right now.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I tell my kids being bored is not a bad thing.  Not every moment of the day has to be entertaining.  Not every moment of the day has to be productive.

Being bored is when creativity happens.  Being bored is when we find a solution to the problem because we're finally sitting still long enough to think.  Being bord is when those things you'll take to your grave because your mom would still kill you to this day happen.

I think as a society we are losing those abilities and it shows.   Especially when it comes to the bigger problems we have.  

Our constant endless need to be entertained while being unable to maintain focus for more than 10 seconds allows those in charge to pull the wool over our eyes.  We aren't focusing long enough to see what is in front us.

Same with the constant need to be productive and hustle.  If I am busy always chasing the next dollar I'm not paying attention to who is collecting my dollars.

[Deleted]

Pink Cashmere   Your trek through both physical and mental concerns has been a long one and that must be very frustrating for you.  

[Deleted]

We took my car to the dealership for oil change and inspection, grabbed breakfast at Jack in the Box, got groceries at Aldi's, and now the kitchen is scrubbed down and mopped.  We'll get my car after lunch.  

I wasn't bored as a child, but I was desperately lonely as my only companionship was an aging, mentally and physically frail mother.  I could see just enough of the outside world to know mine wasn't right.  That's why I stand in awe of the parents I see here on the boards working to provide the best possible for their children, and I don't mean in terms of money only.  Quality time together, after-school activities, play opportunities and more.  All while working full-time and taking care of the household.  

As an adult, I've had some really great times in my life where I could explore possibilities and learn who I was.  Sadly, those times were with friends but not with my husband who was raised to be an emotionally distant person.  

[toomuchreality]

May 22, 2023 10:13:47 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

May 22, 2023 1:12:46 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

OMG, I know you do what you need to do. But I just can't imagine sitting in my car for 6 hrs, waiting! Even without a pet. Much less, with a sick one.
Do you have the option of leaving and coming back? Maybe you live too far, or something. I was just curious if you even have that option? (Could leave and come back in 4 hours, so you don't lose your place in line, if they're ready for you sooner?)

My anxiety would get the best of me, within the 1st 15 minutes. If I was lucky, I might last half an hour. For real.

I'm glad they came and checked the dog out. And that they said he seems stable. I'm also glad they said to let them know, if he gets worse.

Are you still sitting in the parking lot, after midnight?
I hope not. I hope you both are back home, safe and sound now.

Holy crap. I'm so sorry!

(It's currently 12:12AM, Mountain Time, where I'm at.)

Thank you! We got home at 2:30am PST. He's got drugs and will be ok. No surgery needed. It was a combo of getting hurt and having a little virus and it all just overwhelmed his system.

You can leave for a little bit but they want you back at least an hour before your appt.

Remember, they are only an emergency clinic, not a walk-in clinic. No shots, well pet checks, etc. Just "my pet may not make it" emergencies.

Wow. I just can't even imagine. That must have been so stressful!

I'm glad that he's going to be okay and that they gave you the meds you need for him.

I'm really glad you made it home safely. I hope you're able to get some rest today.

Hugs ♡

[Opti]

May 22, 2023 10:13:47 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

May 22, 2023 1:12:46 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

OMG, I know you do what you need to do. But I just can't imagine sitting in my car for 6 hrs, waiting! Even without a pet. Much less, with a sick one.
Do you have the option of leaving and coming back? Maybe you live too far, or something. I was just curious if you even have that option? (Could leave and come back in 4 hours, so you don't lose your place in line, if they're ready for you sooner?)

My anxiety would get the best of me, within the 1st 15 minutes. If I was lucky, I might last half an hour. For real.

I'm glad they came and checked the dog out. And that they said he seems stable. I'm also glad they said to let them know, if he gets worse.

Are you still sitting in the parking lot, after midnight?
I hope not. I hope you both are back home, safe and sound now.

Holy crap. I'm so sorry!

(It's currently 12:12AM, Mountain Time, where I'm at.)

Thank you! We got home at 2:30am PST. He's got drugs and will be ok. No surgery needed. It was a combo of getting hurt and having a little virus and it all just overwhelmed his system.

You can leave for a little bit but they want you back at least an hour before your appt.

Remember, they are only an emergency clinic, not a walk-in clinic. No shots, well pet checks, etc. Just "my pet may not make it" emergencies.

I am glad you are at the point of my puppy should make it. Sounds like a very long night. Do you need to work today?

[countrygirl2]

I grew up so lonely too. Parents have this idea living in the country is so great. Not for a 1 child in a family kid. No one to talk to, to play with, to have adventures with. It was awful, I did have some neighbor kids about a 1/4 mile away I could play with. My mom worked so I was home alone all summer. I cried a lot. but I also cleaned, worked in the garden. Figured out how to use the wringer washer and can. Mainly it was that or go mad just sitting there doing nothing. But far from ideal. Even my bus driver said I was the oldest little kid he knew. He was right.

Now my son lives in a nice neighborhood but it's mostly older people, no kids his age. At least his mom is home with him so that helps, though she wants to work. Son grew up with me working so he doesn't want her to and she does not need to. So I understand exactly why he feels that way. He said he has enough insurance and benefits she will be provided for if something happens to him. She doesn't realize how fortunate she is.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

If she wants to work then they should figure out a compromise IMO.   It shouldn't be considered rude or inconsiderate to feel that you have more needs than being a SAHM.  People are allowed to have diverse interests and needs.  

You regularly talk about how frustrating and isolating it is to be home all day where you live.   Why is it wrong of her to feel the same way? 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Today in Bergen, TD and I split excursions.  He went onto a Norway at War excursion (and tbh, I’m about WWII info’ed out) and I went to Dale of Norway.  I bought a sweater and scarf, he’s not back yet.

I bought this, in blue.
eu.daleofnorway.com/solfrid-womens-jacket-83341-a/

[gs11rmb]

May 22, 2023 11:30:28 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I grew up so lonely too. Parents have this idea living in the country is so great. Not for a 1 child in a family kid. No one to talk to, to play with, to have adventures with. It was awful, I did have some neighbor kids about a 1/4 mile away I could play with. My mom worked so I was home alone all summer. I cried a lot. but I also cleaned, worked in the garden. Figured out how to use the wringer washer and can. Mainly it was that or go mad just sitting there doing nothing. But far from ideal. Even my bus driver said I was the oldest little kid he knew. He was right.

Now my son lives in a nice neighborhood but it's mostly older people, no kids his age. At least his mom is home with him so that helps, though she wants to work. Son grew up with me working so he doesn't want her to and she does not need to. So I understand exactly why he feels that way. He said he has enough insurance and benefits she will be provided for if something happens to him. She doesn't realize how fortunate she is.

I want to work outside the home.  Being a SAHM would have been very detrimental to my overall sense of wellbeing.  Don't get me wrong, I think 12 weeks of maternity leave is ridiculous and I would happily have stayed home for much longer when my children were infants.  But, my career outside of the home is personally fulfilling.  My husband insisting or guilt tripping me into not working (and I'm not saying your son is doing this to his wife) would have been very hard.

[skeeter]

May 22, 2023 10:53:19 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

  

As an adult, I've had some really great times in my life where I could explore possibilities and learn who I was.  Sadly, those times were with friends but not with my husband who was raised to be an emotionally distant person.  

Just my nickel's worth FWIW.

Your hubby may not say what you need/want to hear, but actions do really speak louder than words.

From some of your posts, based on some of his actions, I honestly believe he deeply loves you even though he may be "distant" verbally or even physically (hugs, etc.)

 

[MarionTh230]

I do worry sometimes about Kiddo being an only.  We purposefully choose to keep her in at least one extra-curricular activity just for that reason.  She's actually doing two right now, but that is because she wanted to.  We also put her in summer care.  Granted, with my flexibility at work, I don't need child care every day during the summer, but she very much enjoys this summer camp program and it keeps her interacting with other kids. 

DH and I have noticed it looks like there are at least two other families in the neighborhood with kids in her school.  Sometimes they are outside.  I'm not quite ready to let her loose to roam alone, but I think we are close to that being ok.  It is always a balance trying to keep her engaged and fulfilled while still allowing time for her to be bored.  We don't want her thinking the purpose of life is to be entertained at all times.  We also don't want her to feel all alone either.    

As far as working outside of the home - it's a non-issue.  I'm the primary breadwinner.  Even if I wasn't, it wouldn't end well if my DH ever tried to tell me having a life or career outside of the home wasn't an option.  Just simply would not end well at all.  Thankfully, he wouldn't ever dare try such a thing.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

DH was regularly asked if he expected me to stay home after Abby was born.

His response was he liked living too much to even dare give so much as a hint he was trying to dictate my life.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Made baked feta soup last night.

It's pretty good but when I went to sip the broth that was WAY too feta forward for me. I spit it out.

I should have made the pasta version instead.

I'lI add more noodles to the soup for dinner and maybe thicken it some to make it more pasta dish like.