what are you doing right now?

[minnesotapaintlady]

I wasn't super productive.  I did mow the lawn and make up several meals for the week, but ODS is coming home (I thought tonight, but maybe not) and he will eat a lot of that. The days just go by so fast!  I headed outside about 1 and just came in a little bit ago.  I wasn't mowing the whole time, I did a little cleaning in the garage and the neighbors came by with their 2 year old to raid our toy tractor collection and were visiting for awhile, but still...where the heck did the day go?!? 

[minnesotapaintlady]

May 21, 2023 17:02:47 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

May 21, 2023 16:53:25 GMT -5 bookkeeper said:

DH and I are on an Alaskan cruise in two weeks.  I bought a new pair of "rubbers" to put in my suitcase.  DH already had a pair.  We also use them to go pheasant hunting when it is wet.  Cheap trip insurance against rain, I figure.

Who else wore the red rubber boots with the fold over elastic buckle to school?  Sometimes with bread sacks inside if they had a leak!

You too?  That makes four of us from this board.

We really should have coordinated better!  How fun would that have been?

[Pink Cashmere]

I am still feeling crazy and I guess depressed, from all the issues I’ve had and still have with my stomach. I’ve changed GI Doctors, and for a few months, I was talking to a therapist to try to help with my mental state and what I figure was depression. I ended up feeling like she wasn’t doing much to help me, which I discussed with my PCP,  asking how that kind of therapy should go, to try to determine if I should continue with that therapist, and my PCP said she doesn’t know, it just depends on the patient’s needs. 

So I stopped seeing that provider, and went through my job’s EAP program to talk to a mental health provider.

I do have some good days now, but my stomach does still act up sometimes, for reasons I’ve not been able to narrow down yet, and even though I do have a “good day” here and there, I think I am mostly still clinically depressed. I think Mister is pretty much over dealing with my issues now, which matters a lot tome, but still less than the fact that I am actually unhappy with myself, I just really do not know how to get myself out of this shit even though I want to, and keep trying.

I finally gave in a couple more months ago and started taking the antidepressant my PCP recommended. I do feel like I am better than I was a few months ago, but I’m still not “right”.

So going to Doctors that specialize in gut issues, and  therapy to try to deal with the mental and emotional issues due to my physical issues that haven’t been sorted out, that make leaving my house for longer than 10 or 15 minutes, a whole ordeal, and finally agreeing to take antidepressants, I honestly don’t know what else I can be reasonably expected to do…. to improve my quality of life, and not get fired from my job.

As much as I know I need my job, there is also the issue that my quality of life sucks, even when I don’t eat anything for 2 or 3 days, to try to make sure I can go to work.

[chiver78]

May 21, 2023 19:38:16 GMT -5 busymom said:

When my kids were little, I tried to introduce them to all kinds of music, everything from classical to contemporary, hoping they'd find something they'd enjoy.  I was surprised to find out DD & her BF scored tickets to the Andrea Bocelli concert tonight.  Who knew?  

I love everything about this. 

my sister and I ('78, '82) have gone to a 60s tour at the amazing small venue on Cape Cod for the past few years (other than COVID..) and last year, we decided that I'd just grab four tickets when I bought ours and we'd treat Mom and Dad this year. they both have summer birthdays, and we aren't big on material gifts for a long time now. they have the date marked in her calendar, but I'd love it if she'd stop trying to pay me for their tickets. 

[Artemis Windsong]

This is more a couple of days what I'm doing right now.  My GrGrD had her graduation party yesterday.  H., our DS and I drove 3 hours one way to attend.  The pissers.  In the nice photo display not one photo of my H and me.  Step-Grpa and Step-GrGrma were on the boards. 

10 people from our side of the family sat together.  The GrGrkids sat with their friends they see all the time.    We did get pictures about the time we were leaving.

Early in her and her brothers life, we paid for the custody fight which my GrD won.  Go down a few years and the two GrGrkids need additional help in school.  These towns where they live are rural; and the best school is where Azhat Dad lives.

Over the past 15 years, anytime we went to where my GrD lives (3 hour drive one way) hoping to see our GrGrkids, they were at their Dad's.

I'll look at the good that both of the GrGrkids have had jobs.  They have doable plans for the future.  They seem well adjusted and zero mention of alcohol.

Today was another GrGrD's baptism with 20 people attending.  A very nice reception afterward.

Big bonus today.  I golfed with my DS, DDIL and her sister.  Our golf scores weren't  great but we had fun.

Tomorrow is our 43rd wedding anniversary.  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Hugs Pink

[NastyWoman]

I needed a few items so I went to the grocery store. The "big" news: it was the first time since early 2020 that only one other person, aside from me, was masked up.  No comments or strange looks from the other shoppers though, so that is good as I am now so used to the masks that it has become a habit even though I don't really feel like there is any danger when I don't mask.   I like the casual acceptance of mask/no mask here

[NoNamePerson]

May 21, 2023 20:17:44 GMT -5 Artemis Windsong said:

This is more a couple of days what I'm doing right now.  My GrGrD had her graduation party yesterday.  H., our DS and I drove 3 hours one way to attend.  The pissers.  In the nice photo display not one photo of my H and me.  Step-Grpa and Step-GrGrma were on the boards. 

10 people from our side of the family sat together.  The GrGrkids sat with their friends they see all the time.    We did get pictures about the time we were leaving.

Early in her and her brothers life, we paid for the custody fight which my GrD won.  Go down a few years and the two GrGrkids need additional help in school.  These towns where they live are rural; and the best school is where Azhat Dad lives.

Over the past 15 years, anytime we went to where my GrD lives (3 hour drive one way) hoping to see our GrGrkids, they were at their Dad's.

I'll look at the good that both of the GrGrkids have had jobs.  They have doable plans for the future.  They seem well adjusted and zero mention of alcohol.

Today was another GrGrD's baptism with 20 people attending.  A very nice reception afterward.

Big bonus today.  I golfed with my DS, DDIL and her sister.  Our golf scores weren't  great but we had fun.

Tomorrow is our 43rd wedding anniversary.  

Happy Anniversary a day early!  WOW 43 years!  

[bean29]

[mention]countrygirl2 [/mention] I saw on Facebook that you posted that DH is in Washington. I don’t think you should say that he is gone. My family generally does not post vacation pics until they return. I know you are still home, so house is not empty, but someone could still decide you and DD are an easy mark.

DH and I worked on our yard today. Yesterday was my FIL’s 81st Birthday Party. DH’s family is best in small doses, and most of us were also there last weekend for Mother ‘s Day.

Our yard needs a lot of work, but my DH works in his office for 4-6 hours nearly every Saturday. He did not work last Saturday and he will take June 3rd off for a party in Chicago. We just will keep at it little by little.

We bought new furniture and DH says it is there. We need to decide if we are replacing the flooring snd he wants to paint. He was talking about greys, but I swear I heard Greys are on their way out?

[countrygirl2]

I imagine the locals are more afraid of me then hubs. They know I target shoot outside once in awhile and keep guns handy, hubs has not messed with guns in years.  They also know I have a temper and I lived here by myself until 2015 when hubs finally retired. 

I do lock my doors at night but with all the windows would not keep someone out.

I laughed this evening, when the renter came down stairs, both cats headed for him and I saw him back up. My cats have quite a reputation around here, LOL!  I have heard them growl at more than one person coming into the garage. They run to the door in the house growling. Strangely never heard them do it to a delivery person??

You never hear of home invasions around here. Sure there is theft but not when people are home. I don't like leaving DD at home by herself but like this afternoon she didn't want to go to town with me. I wasn't gone long, but still that worries me.

And Smokey was being a brat, he lay right in the middle of a pattern and stretched out. I was trying to cut it out. I pushed him and he tried to bite me, he did that twice, I picked his sorry butt up and put him on the couch. 

I finished the orange shorts. I had to get my manual out to do the buttonhole, its been awhile and I forgot the procedure. There are all kinds of buttonholes you can make with it. The machine is a Memory Craft 6600, it's at least 10 years old or older, but I really like it. Has a walking foot which helps with more sheer and stretchy fabrics. Also why I had to get a new serger, my White was over 40 years old, on heavier fabrics was a beast but on thin stuff like they have now would just wad it up. This serger has a walking foot so you can feed one layer of sheer fabric through it without an issue. I took my extra Kenmore to Washington, wish I had not, I use it for sewing to.

So now I finished my shorts, have a button to sew on. Have the lighter weight fabric for the culotte type skirt sewn together. Just need to put the zipper in and waist band on. I don't need all the clothes I'm going to make. But hubs has said more than once, I fixed your sewing room and I haven't seen you make anything. I have made a few things but not many. When he gets home I will show him all the stuff I've made. He did a lot of work for me and looked like I didn't appreciate it. Will make him feel like its worthwhile. Frankly, I spent so much time gardening and canning I couldn't get to sewing. I came upstairs at 10 for the night. Would have stayed working longer but my roku isn't working downstairs??

[toomuchreality]

May 21, 2023 19:55:58 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I am still feeling crazy and I guess depressed, from all the issues I’ve had and still have with my stomach. I’ve changed GI Doctors, and for a few months, I was talking to a therapist to try to help with my mental state and what I figure was depression. I ended up feeling like she wasn’t doing much to help me, which I discussed with my PCP,  asking how that kind of therapy should go, to try to determine if I should continue with that therapist, and my PCP said she doesn’t know, it just depends on the patient’s needs. 

So I stopped seeing that provider, and went through my job’s EAP program to talk to a mental health provider.

I do have some good days now, but my stomach does still act up sometimes, for reasons I’ve not been able to narrow down yet, and even though I do have a “good day” here and there, I think I am mostly still clinically depressed. I think Mister is pretty much over dealing with my issues now, which matters a lot tome, but still less than the fact that I am actually unhappy with myself, I just really do not know how to get myself out of this shit even though I want to, and keep trying.

I finally gave in a couple more months ago and started taking the antidepressant my PCP recommended. I do feel like I am better than I was a few months ago, but I’m still not “right”.

So going to Doctors that specialize in gut issues, and  therapy to try to deal with the mental and emotional issues due to my physical issues that haven’t been sorted out, that make leaving my house for longer than 10 or 15 minutes, a whole ordeal, and finally agreeing to take antidepressants, I honestly don’t know what else I can be reasonably expected to do…. to improve my quality of life, and not get fired from my job.

As much as I know I need my job, there is also the issue that my quality of life sucks, even when I don’t eat anything for 2 or 3 days, to try to make sure I can go to work.

(((Hugs)))
I hate to say it, but I know the feeling (emotional feelings, not physical). And I don't know how to get past it either.

Thinking of you. ♡

[stillmovingforward]

At the emergency vet with my new-ish puppy. He not feeling well and vomiting blood.

[toomuchreality]

May 21, 2023 20:17:44 GMT -5 Artemis Windsong said:

This is more a couple of days what I'm doing right now.  My GrGrD had her graduation party yesterday.  H., our DS and I drove 3 hours one way to attend.  The pissers.  In the nice photo display not one photo of my H and me.  Step-Grpa and Step-GrGrma were on the boards. 

10 people from our side of the family sat together.  The GrGrkids sat with their friends they see all the time.    We did get pictures about the time we were leaving.

Early in her and her brothers life, we paid for the custody fight which my GrD won.  Go down a few years and the two GrGrkids need additional help in school.  These towns where they live are rural; and the best school is where Azhat Dad lives.

Over the past 15 years, anytime we went to where my GrD lives (3 hour drive one way) hoping to see our GrGrkids, they were at their Dad's.

I'll look at the good that both of the GrGrkids have had jobs.  They have doable plans for the future.  They seem well adjusted and zero mention of alcohol.

Today was another GrGrD's baptism with 20 people attending.  A very nice reception afterward.

Big bonus today.  I golfed with my DS, DDIL and her sister.  Our golf scores weren't  great but we had fun.

Tomorrow is our 43rd wedding anniversary.  

Happy anniversary!

So far as family goes, I have no suggestions. My family is pretty much the same. But we live a lot closer to each other, than you do, yours. I'm sorry.

[toomuchreality]

May 21, 2023 22:17:07 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

At the emergency vet with my new-ish puppy. He not feeling well and vomiting blood.

YIKES! I hope everything turns out okay.
Keep us posted, please.
Good luck! ♡

[Opti]

May 21, 2023 22:17:07 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

At the emergency vet with my new-ish puppy. He not feeling well and vomiting blood.

Yikes. I hope puppy can be helped.

[steph08]

May 21, 2023 22:17:07 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

At the emergency vet with my new-ish puppy. He not feeling well and vomiting blood.

Goodness! Sending good vibes!!

[toomuchreality]

May 21, 2023 21:53:39 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I imagine the locals are more afraid of me then hubs. They know I target shoot outside once in awhile and keep guns handy, hubs has not messed with guns in years.  They also know I have a temper and I lived here by myself until 2015 when hubs finally retired. 

I do lock my doors at night but with all the windows would not keep someone out.

I laughed this evening, when the renter came down stairs, both cats headed for him and I saw him back up. My cats have quite a reputation around here, LOL!  I have heard them growl at more than one person coming into the garage. They run to the door in the house growling. Strangely never heard them do it to a delivery person??

You never hear of home invasions around here. Sure there is theft but not when people are home. I don't like leaving DD at home by herself but like this afternoon she didn't want to go to town with me. I wasn't gone long, but still that worries me.

And Smokey was being a brat, he lay right in the middle of a pattern and stretched out. I was trying to cut it out. I pushed him and he tried to bite me, he did that twice, I picked his sorry butt up and put him on the couch. 

I finished the orange shorts. I had to get my manual out to do the buttonhole, its been awhile and I forgot the procedure. There are all kinds of buttonholes you can make with it. The machine is a Memory Craft 6600, it's at least 10 years old or older, but I really like it. Has a walking foot which helps with more sheer and stretchy fabrics. Also why I had to get a new serger, my White was over 40 years old, on heavier fabrics was a beast but on thin stuff like they have now would just wad it up. This serger has a walking foot so you can feed one layer of sheer fabric through it without an issue. I took my extra Kenmore to Washington, wish I had not, I use it for sewing to.

So now I finished my shorts, have a button to sew on. Have the lighter weight fabric for the culotte type skirt sewn together. Just need to put the zipper in and waist band on. I don't need all the clothes I'm going to make. But hubs has said more than once, I fixed your sewing room and I haven't seen you make anything. I have made a few things but not many. When he gets home I will show him all the stuff I've made. He did a lot of work for me and looked like I didn't appreciate it. Will make him feel like its worthwhile. Frankly, I spent so much time gardening and canning I couldn't get to sewing. I came upstairs at 10 for the night. Would have stayed working longer but my roku isn't working downstairs??

I'm glad you got your shorts finished. I hope you get some more things made and completed.

My mom was an excellent seamstress, cook, baker, artist. I wish I would have understood and appreciated the quality of the clothes she made for me and all the other things she tried to teach me. I couldn't wait to be able to buy clothes from a store, like my friends did. And I always wanted to just go play, not have to learn how to make dinner and bake bread, or decorate cakes ect. My mom was a perfectionist and did everything well. But that also meant that she often found fault with the things I did. So I never wanted to do/learn things. It has taken me a lot of years to understand the value of what she did and tried to do. 😕

[stillmovingforward]

May 21, 2023 22:17:07 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

At the emergency vet with my new-ish puppy. He not feeling well and vomiting blood.

Is a 6 hour wait. But they said he seems stable and to let them know if he gets worse.

So we sit in the car and wait our turn. At least they ran some tests and triaged him and said he's stable.

[toomuchreality]

May 22, 2023 0:42:42 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

May 21, 2023 22:17:07 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

At the emergency vet with my new-ish puppy. He not feeling well and vomiting blood.

Is a 6 hour wait. But they said he seems stable and to let them know if he gets worse.

So we sit in the car and wait our turn. At least they ran some tests and triaged him and said he's stable.

OMG, I know you do what you need to do. But I just can't imagine sitting in my car for 6 hrs, waiting! Even without a pet. Much less, with a sick one.
Do you have the option of leaving and coming back? Maybe you live too far, or something. I was just curious if you even have that option? (Could leave and come back in 4 hours, so you don't lose your place in line, if they're ready for you sooner?)

My anxiety would get the best of me, within the 1st 15 minutes. If I was lucky, I might last half an hour. For real.

I'm glad they came and checked the dog out. And that they said he seems stable. I'm also glad they said to let them know, if he gets worse.

Are you still sitting in the parking lot, after midnight?
I hope not. I hope you both are back home, safe and sound now.

Holy crap. I'm so sorry!

(It's currently 12:12AM, Mountain Time, where I'm at.)

[finnime]

Good morning, diligent invisipeeps, keeping the gears of your lives moving. Welcome to Monday. I hope your day rewards your efforts and that stillmovingforward's puppy is okay.

Many of you know I struggle with clinical major depression. Many years ago I took antidepressants prescribed by my PCP to address it. They helped, but not enough to get me to a level of good. He told me I should see a psychiatrist; that a specialist would help more than he could. My therapist suggested an excellent shrink, who prescribed a medication then added another then increased the dosage until I felt fully like me again. I saw this doctor for almost 20 years, until he died. He helped me through several personal crises and a few bouts of bottoming-out depression over those years. I'm still on the medication cocktail he worked out for me. And, I can feel and respond to life like I want to. Antidepressants don't make you happy; they make you you again. Hugs, Pink Cashmere.

I've got all my clothes and toilerties laid out, ready to pack into the new luggage with built-in TSA safe locks. I've printed back ups of all the documents pertaining to this trip. I'm on target for leaving.

Yesterday morning was heavily overcast with no sun to be seen. But the evening was hazy, still showing the sun as a red star which I shot from the hurricane barrier causeeway. Then we got ice cream.

[toomuchreality]

May 22, 2023 3:05:35 GMT -5 finnime said:

Good morning, diligent invisipeeps, keeping the gears of your lives moving. Welcome to Monday. I hope your day rewards your efforts and that stillmovingforward's puppy is okay.

Many of you know I struggle with clinical major depression. Many years ago I took antidepressants prescribed by my PCP to address it. They helped, but not enough to get me to a level of good. He told me I should see a psychiatrist; that a specialist would help more than he could. My therapist suggested an excellent shrink, who prescribed a medication then added another then increased the dosage until I felt fully like me again. I saw this doctor for almost 20 years, until he died. He helped me through several personal crises and a few bouts of bottoming-out depression over those years. I'm still on the medication cocktail he worked out for me. And, I can feel and respond to life like I want to. Antidepressants don't make you happy; they make you you again. Hugs, Pink Cashmere.

I've got all my clothes and toilerties laid out, ready to pack into the new luggage with built-in TSA safe locks. I've printed back ups of all the documents pertaining to this trip. I'm on target for leaving.

Yesterday morning was heavily overcast with no sun to be seen. But the evening was hazy, still showing the sun as a red star which I shot from the hurricane barrier causeeway. Then we got ice cream.

Beautiful! I love this picture!

[raeoflyte]

May 21, 2023 19:55:58 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I am still feeling crazy and I guess depressed, from all the issues I’ve had and still have with my stomach. I’ve changed GI Doctors, and for a few months, I was talking to a therapist to try to help with my mental state and what I figure was depression. I ended up feeling like she wasn’t doing much to help me, which I discussed with my PCP,  asking how that kind of therapy should go, to try to determine if I should continue with that therapist, and my PCP said she doesn’t know, it just depends on the patient’s needs. 

So I stopped seeing that provider, and went through my job’s EAP program to talk to a mental health provider.

I do have some good days now, but my stomach does still act up sometimes, for reasons I’ve not been able to narrow down yet, and even though I do have a “good day” here and there, I think I am mostly still clinically depressed. I think Mister is pretty much over dealing with my issues now, which matters a lot tome, but still less than the fact that I am actually unhappy with myself, I just really do not know how to get myself out of this shit even though I want to, and keep trying.

I finally gave in a couple more months ago and started taking the antidepressant my PCP recommended. I do feel like I am better than I was a few months ago, but I’m still not “right”.

So going to Doctors that specialize in gut issues, and  therapy to try to deal with the mental and emotional issues due to my physical issues that haven’t been sorted out, that make leaving my house for longer than 10 or 15 minutes, a whole ordeal, and finally agreeing to take antidepressants, I honestly don’t know what else I can be reasonably expected to do…. to improve my quality of life, and not get fired from my job.

As much as I know I need my job, there is also the issue that my quality of life sucks, even when I don’t eat anything for 2 or 3 days, to try to make sure I can go to work.

Hugs pink.

[raeoflyte]

May 21, 2023 22:17:07 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

At the emergency vet with my new-ish puppy. He not feeling well and vomiting blood.

I hope puppy is doing better and you can get some rest today.

[Opti]

Going to be an interesting day. Computers are down at the doctor's office and their phone lines appear to be barely functioning. I hope they can get things fixed by early afternoon and fax stuff out to HR before COB.

Still have to hedge my bets. My stuff went out via mail carrier Saturday morning, but I am not in the same town that I work in. So it has to be processed and then head to yet another town - where the headquarters is. But until the doctor stuff comes over, things are unsettled.

Think I will pursue trying to do an online version even though I had no success trying to edit the form.
Will call or email HR soon.

I am hoping I can devote the afternoon to AAA stuff and maybe one load of work clothes laundry. I will need to arrange rides to get in and back. Beginning to think Wednesday is more likely than tomorrow. Possibly even Thursday if it takes that long for my mailed paperwork to get to them.


Think I need chocolate and take a walk outside to think.

[giramomma]

It's early.

I'm already bored. I've already navel-gazed. I can't find a cross stitch pattern and it is bothering me.

I don't remember ever, in my life feeling like it was hard being me. Not even when it should have been hard. I don't know why they don't tell you to expect feeling like this when you get middle aged.

[toomuchreality]

May 22, 2023 8:03:40 GMT -5 Opti said:

Going to be an interesting day. Computers are down at the doctor's office and their phone lines appear to be barely functioning. I hope they can get things fixed by early afternoon and fax stuff out to HR before COB.

Still have to hedge my bets. My stuff went out via mail carrier Saturday morning, but I am not in the same town that I work in. So it has to be processed and then head to yet another town - where the headquarters is. But until the doctor stuff comes over, things are unsettled.

Think I will pursue trying to do an online version even though I had no success trying to edit the form.
Will call or email HR soon.

I am hoping I can devote the afternoon to AAA stuff and maybe one load of work clothes laundry. I will need to arrange rides to get in and back. Beginning to think Wednesday is more likely than tomorrow. Possibly even Thursday if it takes that long for my mailed paperwork to get to them.


Think I need chocolate and take a walk outside to think.

Good luck!

[toomuchreality]

May 22, 2023 8:18:43 GMT -5 giramomma said:

It's early.

I'm already bored. I've already navel-gazed. I can't find a cross stitch pattern and it is bothering me.

I don't remember ever, in my life feeling like it was hard being me. Not even when it should have been hard. I don't know why they don't tell you to expect feeling like this when you get middle aged.

Just wait until you get "elderly". It gets even better!
🙄
Life is full of surprises. I had no idea, being an adult was like it is. I truly thought everything would be rosy, once I grew up.

I hope your day goes well.
Good luck with your job search.

[minnesotapaintlady]

May 22, 2023 8:18:43 GMT -5 giramomma said:

It's early.

I'm already bored. I've already navel-gazed. I can't find a cross stitch pattern and it is bothering me.

I don't remember ever, in my life feeling like it was hard being me. Not even when it should have been hard. I don't know why they don't tell you to expect feeling like this when you get middle aged.

I would have never told you to expect that because that has not been my experience at all.  I remember telling my grandmother I was bored one time when I was a kid and she asked me to explain what bored felt like because she had no clue.  I thought she was nuts at the time, but the older I get the more I understand!  I think I'm almost completely incapable of being bored at this point.

Not that I don't have other middle-aged issues. 

[daisylu]

May 22, 2023 8:18:43 GMT -5 giramomma said:

It's early.

I'm already bored. I've already navel-gazed. I can't find a cross stitch pattern and it is bothering me.

I don't remember ever, in my life feeling like it was hard being me. Not even when it should have been hard. I don't know why they don't tell you to expect feeling like this when you get middle aged.

I've always thought it was hard being me. I never wallowed in it though, I just figured that's what life was for everyone and just kept moving. That is the part that I am having difficulty with now, the moving.

[lurkyloo]

May 22, 2023 8:51:50 GMT -5 daisylu said:

May 22, 2023 8:18:43 GMT -5 giramomma said:

It's early.

I'm already bored. I've already navel-gazed. I can't find a cross stitch pattern and it is bothering me.

I don't remember ever, in my life feeling like it was hard being me. Not even when it should have been hard. I don't know why they don't tell you to expect feeling like this when you get middle aged.

I've always thought it was hard being me. I never wallowed in it though, I just figured that's what life was for everyone and just kept moving. That is the part that I am having difficulty with now, the moving.

Watching my kid struggle with some of the same neurodiversity issues I dealt with growing up I am occasionally amazed I made it to adulthood    

Of course I also remember complaining frequently to my mother that I was bored as a child    I also asked her why she didn’t like to read and she said she didn’t have time.    I get that now...but I still prioritize reading over sleep.