what are you doing right now?

[bean29]

May 9, 2023 8:37:47 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I've officially quit doing dh's laundry. There is no logical reason I started or continued to do it for the last 25 years but I still feel guilty. Dh isn't upset about it and knew it was coming so it's just a me issue and it's entirely likely that I'll continue to "help" when I need more to fill up a load.

This is what we do.  I usually fill my load with items of his laundry, we both often put the laundry on hangers.  He often offers to fold the towels while he is watching TV.  He likes to wash his own pants (and shirts, but I often do them anyways).  Hopefully this will work out for both of you.  What about your kids clothing?  How old are your kids now, can they start learning how to do laundry.  I made sure my kids knew how to do laundry before they left for college.  They both were surprised that some kids had no idea how to do laundry when they got to college.  I seperate colors and I wash loads of towels alone/separate.  Both my kids mix everything together.  Que sera sera. 

[weltschmerz]

May 9, 2023 9:53:23 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

It is now 3:30 and we are still without a functional key card to get into our room.  I have absolutely no idea what’s going on, but suspect it has something to do with the strange woman’s name on the display on our phone.  Today, we have had the cards keyed no less than 8 times.  This is getting old, as if we exit (like we did for lunch) we needed to find housekeeping to let us back in.  So only one person can go out at a time.  

Just as well we are having a slow day, after yesterday and this morning.  We just popped open one of the bottles of sparkling wine we have.  For the rest of the cruise, the booze is on us.  While Viking’s drink package is very reasonable, neither of us drink enough to make it worthwhile.  $25/pp/day means each of us need to drink at least 3-4 drinks daily to break even.  Coffee and soda are available for free for us.  The world cruise included the drink package and gratuities.  Now we are on the hook.  We do have a decent balance, which is supposed to be credited to our account.  

This ISN'T the world cruise?

[daisylu]

I visited my mom this past Sunday for Mother's Day. At first, I kind of just had the dates mixed up but it was for the best. DSis monopolizes mom's time, and I didn't feel like competing on Mothers Day. I actually mentioned that. It annoyed dad who said there is no competition - when I replied that there is for time he backed off.

[raeoflyte]

May 9, 2023 9:41:00 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Mother Day usually sucks for me.  It is exhausting always putting other people first and they can't even be bothered to put me first for one freaking day of the year that is actually singled out for that purpose so it's not like they can forget it.

On top of it this year both our moms are gone.   So I feel like that is going to end up being the primary focus of the day.

Hugs drama.

[raeoflyte]

May 9, 2023 9:56:45 GMT -5 bean29 said:

May 9, 2023 8:37:47 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I've officially quit doing dh's laundry. There is no logical reason I started or continued to do it for the last 25 years but I still feel guilty. Dh isn't upset about it and knew it was coming so it's just a me issue and it's entirely likely that I'll continue to "help" when I need more to fill up a load.

This is what we do.  I usually fill my load with items of his laundry, we both often put the laundry on hangers.  He often offers to fold the towels while he is watching TV.  He likes to wash his own pants (and shirts, but I often do them anyways).  Hopefully this will work out for both of you.  What about your kids clothing?  How old are your kids now, can they start learning how to do laundry.  I made sure my kids knew how to do laundry before they left for college.  They both were surprised that some kids had no idea how to do laundry when they got to college.  I seperate colors and I wash loads of towels alone/separate.  Both my kids mix everything together.  Que sera sera. 

My kids are starting to do their own laundry which is nice. I stopped separating colors. I still wash towels separately but stopped using hot water except for cleaning rags and kitchen towels so I might start adding towels in.

I read once that towels are "rough" on regular clothes. Anyone have thoughts on that? I want to start adding a dry, clean towel to the dryer on all loads to cut down on dry time/energy.

[swamp]

May 9, 2023 9:06:59 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Nursing home Medicaid is different from the Medicaid as we normally think about it.  I have to specifically apply for Nursing Home Medicaid.   You are correct that Medicaid Medicaid does not cover nursing home care and if I were to try to apply for that for my grandma I would get rejected.   This is trap #1 a lot of people fall into because the system is stupid and even people work in it get turned around. 

::takes deep breath::  Nursing home Medicaid will cover the costs of her living in the nursing home but it is at about $3k less than what the nursing home charges for private pay.  That is why these corporations are dropping Medicaid like a hot potato.  Those that continue to accept it by federal law cannot reject my grandmother once she goes on it and they cannot kick her out if they decide later to not accept it BUUUUUT they can choose to not allow new patients on Medicaid.  They are pushing for you have to have at least 18 months private pay OR expect family members to pony up.

Nursing home Medicaid will not cover anything other than my grandmother's living situation.  She must continue to hold her Medicare policy if she is to be eligible for nursing home Medicaid.  I have to provide all the information proving that she has Medicare which was fun I am glad I had her SS and could fake being her on the phone.   Her Medicare premiums, and I will have to double check my facts here, do not go against the $2500 she is allowed to keep in assets.  There must be enough in her account at all times to cover the premiums for Medicare.

NONE of this is easy to find or navigate.  It took me three days and multiple phone calls with Medicare, Iowa Medicaid, the Center of Aging and the Ombudsman office to find all this information.  The Center of Aging lady was wonderful she sent me a paper copy of the Medicaid form highlighted with all the parts I needed to fill out and detailed instructions walking me through it.

This is why I keep beating the dead horse that Mister needs to pony up for an elder care attorney.   Grandma didn't have the funds at the time to pay for one and I didn't have an extra $5k lying around either on top of only have 30 days to accomplish getting the application in before they started trying to evict her so I had no choice but to DIY it.

Do not sink any more money into the house instead put whatever Mister's dad has towards an attorney.  They are worth their weight in gold.  They can help with offloading the house and navigating getting dad the care he needs and any assistance he needs.   Mister will give himself a stroke trying to DIY it.

And I absolutely agree it's like this on purpose.  It is a system that never should have been for profit but because it is here we are.   It's rapidly becoming a major crisis as elderly people are homeless and families begin to enter a cycle of generational poverty trying to keep a roof over grandma's head.

Also it is normal apparently to be rejected the first time around applying.  This is another trap I was warned about.  A LOT of people cave at this point and get themselves held liable to the nursing home because they fear grandma will be homeless.  Do not do that.  You have 30-60 days to file an appeal and while that appeal is ongoing they cannot evict your loved one.   This is again where having an attorney is worth whatever you pay.  If you cannot pay one I strongly encourage calling local Legal aid and your local center of aging.   Both were willing to take on helping me with the appeal process.

All I can say is thank God for NYS.   Yeah, the taxes are high and the weather sucks, but the social services safety net is extensive. 

My mom's medicaid experience was a cakewalk compared to yours.   Yeah, the application was a giant PITA, but it was pretty straightforward.   The county workers were helpful, and directly told us you have to spend down x more  money, put $x in a CD in your dad's name alone, and then she will qualify. 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

May 9, 2023 9:57:39 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

May 9, 2023 9:53:23 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

It is now 3:30 and we are still without a functional key card to get into our room.  I have absolutely no idea what’s going on, but suspect it has something to do with the strange woman’s name on the display on our phone.  Today, we have had the cards keyed no less than 8 times.  This is getting old, as if we exit (like we did for lunch) we needed to find housekeeping to let us back in.  So only one person can go out at a time.  

Just as well we are having a slow day, after yesterday and this morning.  We just popped open one of the bottles of sparkling wine we have.  For the rest of the cruise, the booze is on us.  While Viking’s drink package is very reasonable, neither of us drink enough to make it worthwhile.  $25/pp/day means each of us need to drink at least 3-4 drinks daily to break even.  Coffee and soda are available for free for us.  The world cruise included the drink package and gratuities.  Now we are on the hook.  We do have a decent balance, which is supposed to be credited to our account.  

This ISN'T the world cruise?

Not anymore.  It ended this morning.  We chose to continue on.

It is kinda strange.  I went up to breakfast and said ‘hi’ to a dozen people we have socialized with while there.  By lunch time, I knew no one.  

[swamp]

I am freaking ANNOYED.    I'm about ready to firebomb the NYS retirement system.  (figuratively, I'm really not going to do it). 

I am now a state employee.  I vested my retirement back in 2000 when i left county employment.     In HS and college i worked for agencies that were part of the retirement system, but because I was part time/seasonal, I did not enroll in the state retirement system. 

In 2021 i did a request to buy back the time.   They lost it. 
I did another one a few months later.   I just got a response, 2 years later. 

They credited me for the school district lifeguarding, but completely disregarded the summer seasonal employment.   It was 6 summers at the same job!!!.  both employers were on the one application.  

I called them today.   It's a 70 minute wait.   I'm on hold.  

You had one job.  


ETA:   I spoke to someone at NYS.  They said the summer employment agency never sent them the information.  I think that's bullshit.  I think NYS lost it. 

ETA:  I spoke with summer employer.  They have a copy of what they sent to NYS in 7/21.  NYS lost it.  They are resubmitting it. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Trying to find motivation.  Work slowed down a bit and now my brain is realizing just how burned out it is.   I really just want to sit at my desk like a blob.

I'm tired of work, tired of fighting the kids to go to school, tired of dance.  This Saturday I have to run the recital gamut.

Abby called me fat this weekend.  Specifically she asked me if I minded that I looked pregnant in a dress I just bought.   Gwen's called me old several times.  My self esteem is in the toilet.

Fucked up the budget again because I can't get myself to focus on it as much as I should.

Then there is Mother's Day coming up.

DH had a health scare all the stupid energy drinks he consumes finally caught up to him on top of his quitting his blood pressure medication (because it was better!  He didn't need it anymore!) and I am still pissed at him about it.

[anciana]

May 9, 2023 9:58:15 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I visited my mom this past Sunday for Mother's Day. At first, I kind of just had the dates mixed up but it was for the best. DSis monopolizes mom's time, and I didn't feel like competing on Mothers Day. I actually mentioned that. It annoyed dad who said there is no competition - when I replied that there is for time he backed off.

It must have hurt to be reminded again how different your parents act with you and your sister, I am so sorry. Maybe it’s for the best, as you mentioned, since you had some time with your mom without your sister around. Many, many hugs coming your way

[Opti]

Its going to be one of those Springs. My ride forgot I have two appointments and had to move his dentist to the same time my appointment is in a different town. So now scrambling. 

Have not started on the paperwork for today and the call on car status is late, but the latter is OK.

[giramomma]

I have to go see the dentist for a cleaning in a minute.

So far, this is the  best thing that's happened in the past 36 hours.

Keep in mind, I had a raging anxiety attack the last time I saw the dentist. They couldn't get all my xrays.

Dh had to go with me to get my fillings replaced.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

May 9, 2023 10:34:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Trying to find motivation.  Work slowed down a bit and now my brain is realizing just how burned out it is.   I really just want to sit at my desk like a blob.

I'm tired of work, tired of fighting the kids to go to school, tired of dance.  This Saturday I have to run the recital gamut.

Abby called me fat this weekend.  Specifically she asked me if I minded that I looked pregnant in a dress I just bought.   Gwen's called me old several times.  My self esteem is in the toilet.

Fucked up the budget again because I can't get myself to focus on it as much as I should.

Then there is Mother's Day coming up.

DH had a health scare all the stupid energy drinks he consumes finally caught up to him on top of his quitting his blood pressure medication (because it was better!  He didn't need it anymore!) and I am still pissed at him about it.

His doctor didn’t explain hypertension is usually forever?  Of course you feel better, your BP is under control!  

We still have room in the spare lot.  Lots of trees, no one visits other than deer and an occasional coyote.

[TheOtherMe]

Ever since my mom died, I dread the day.  Too many reminders.  

[skeeter]

May 9, 2023 10:34:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Trying to find motivation.  Work slowed down a bit and now my brain is realizing just how burned out it is.   I really just want to sit at my desk like a blob.

I'm tired of work, tired of fighting the kids to go to school, tired of dance.  This Saturday I have to run the recital gamut.

Abby called me fat this weekend.  Specifically she asked me if I minded that I looked pregnant in a dress I just bought.   Gwen's called me old several times.  My self esteem is in the toilet.

Fucked up the budget again because I can't get myself to focus on it as much as I should.

Then there is Mother's Day coming up.

DH had a health scare all the stupid energy drinks he consumes finally caught up to him on top of his quitting his blood pressure medication (because it was better!  He didn't need it anymore!) and I am still pissed at him about it.

[stillmovingforward]

May 9, 2023 10:34:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Trying to find motivation.  Work slowed down a bit and now my brain is realizing just how burned out it is.   I really just want to sit at my desk like a blob.

I'm tired of work, tired of fighting the kids to go to school, tired of dance.  This Saturday I have to run the recital gamut.

Abby called me fat this weekend.  Specifically she asked me if I minded that I looked pregnant in a dress I just bought.   Gwen's called me old several times.  My self esteem is in the toilet.

Fucked up the budget again because I can't get myself to focus on it as much as I should.

Then there is Mother's Day coming up.

DH had a health scare all the stupid energy drinks he consumes finally caught up to him on top of his quitting his blood pressure medication (because it was better!  He didn't need it anymore!) and I am still pissed at him about it.

I wish I could come over and give you a mom hug. Plus smack your family around a bit.

[andi9899]

May 9, 2023 9:41:00 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Mother Day usually sucks for me.  It is exhausting always putting other people first and they can't even be bothered to put me first for one freaking day of the year that is actually singled out for that purpose so it's not like they can forget it.

On top of it this year both our moms are gone.   So I feel like that is going to end up being the primary focus of the day.

Feel free to run away and come here. You can celebrate mother's day with us. We'll always take in another person on any holiday without notice and feed them. You'd have to listen to some pretty awful dad jokes, but it would be a good time.

[daisylu]

May 9, 2023 10:36:26 GMT -5 anciana said:

May 9, 2023 9:58:15 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I visited my mom this past Sunday for Mother's Day. At first, I kind of just had the dates mixed up but it was for the best. DSis monopolizes mom's time, and I didn't feel like competing on Mothers Day. I actually mentioned that. It annoyed dad who said there is no competition - when I replied that there is for time he backed off.

It must have hurt to be reminded again how different your parents act with you and your sister, I am so sorry. Maybe it’s for the best, as you mentioned, since you had some time with your mom without your sister around. Many, many hugs coming your way

Therapy has helped me put boundaries like this in place, so it doesn't affect me like it used to. Thank you.

[NastyWoman]

May 9, 2023 11:15:25 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

May 9, 2023 10:34:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Trying to find motivation.  Work slowed down a bit and now my brain is realizing just how burned out it is.   I really just want to sit at my desk like a blob.

I'm tired of work, tired of fighting the kids to go to school, tired of dance.  This Saturday I have to run the recital gamut.

Abby called me fat this weekend.  Specifically she asked me if I minded that I looked pregnant in a dress I just bought.   Gwen's called me old several times.  My self esteem is in the toilet.

Fucked up the budget again because I can't get myself to focus on it as much as I should.

Then there is Mother's Day coming up.

DH had a health scare all the stupid energy drinks he consumes finally caught up to him on top of his quitting his blood pressure medication (because it was better!  He didn't need it anymore!) and I am still pissed at him about it.

His doctor didn’t explain hypertension is usually forever?  Of course you feel better, your BP is under control!  

We still have room in the spare lot.  Lots of trees, no one visits other than deer and an occasional coyote.

That took me a second or two LOL.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

May 9, 2023 11:15:25 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

May 9, 2023 10:34:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Trying to find motivation.  Work slowed down a bit and now my brain is realizing just how burned out it is.   I really just want to sit at my desk like a blob.

I'm tired of work, tired of fighting the kids to go to school, tired of dance.  This Saturday I have to run the recital gamut.

Abby called me fat this weekend.  Specifically she asked me if I minded that I looked pregnant in a dress I just bought.   Gwen's called me old several times.  My self esteem is in the toilet.

Fucked up the budget again because I can't get myself to focus on it as much as I should.

Then there is Mother's Day coming up.

DH had a health scare all the stupid energy drinks he consumes finally caught up to him on top of his quitting his blood pressure medication (because it was better!  He didn't need it anymore!) and I am still pissed at him about it.

His doctor didn’t explain hypertension is usually forever?  Of course you feel better, your BP is under control!  

We still have room in the spare lot.  Lots of trees, no one visits other than deer and an occasional coyote.

Apparently not.  DH is one of the millions of people that doesn't grasp you feel better as a direct result of the medication.  Stop taking it you stop feeling better. 

I told him those things kill teenagers who end up in Afib due to the amount of caffeine.  What did you think they were doing to your 50 year old behind?!

The doctor hyperventilated when DH told them how many of them he drinks a week.   Is it a power move to be able to induce a panic attack in a doctor?

[Peace77]

May 9, 2023 11:17:48 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Ever since my mom died, I dread the day.  Too many reminders.  

Me too 

A few minutes after Mom’s funeral, I found out that Mom’s poor hearing had led to a misunderstanding.  No one believed me that it hadn’t been said. One of my sisters pointed out that we can’t ask her now. 

[Cookies Galore]

May 9, 2023 9:56:45 GMT -5 bean29 said:

May 9, 2023 8:37:47 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I've officially quit doing dh's laundry. There is no logical reason I started or continued to do it for the last 25 years but I still feel guilty. Dh isn't upset about it and knew it was coming so it's just a me issue and it's entirely likely that I'll continue to "help" when I need more to fill up a load.

This is what we do.  I usually fill my load with items of his laundry, we both often put the laundry on hangers.  He often offers to fold the towels while he is watching TV.  He likes to wash his own pants (and shirts, but I often do them anyways).  Hopefully this will work out for both of you.  What about your kids clothing?  How old are your kids now, can they start learning how to do laundry.  I made sure my kids knew how to do laundry before they left for college.  They both were surprised that some kids had no idea how to do laundry when they got to college.  I seperate colors and I wash loads of towels alone/separate.  Both my kids mix everything together.  Que sera sera. 

I don't separate colors. My clothes are all washed cold in the gentle cycle, so nothing is at risk. Husband has always washed his own clothes. I don't know nor care how he does it, though I am of the opinion that he could stand to do his laundry on a more regular schedule so he doesn't end up with a massive load that takes forever to dry.
I try to rotate the weeks that I do towels and sheets so I'm not spending my time doing piles of laundry. I may work from home but that doesn't mean I want to be doing laundry every day!

[Peace77]

May 9, 2023 10:34:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

DH had a health scare all the stupid energy drinks he consumes finally caught up to him on top of his quitting his blood pressure medication (because it was better!  He didn't need it anymore!) and I am still pissed at him about it.

Can you get a BP cuff to use at home?

Untreated blood pressure led to my uncle having kidney failure.  He had a terrible time on dialysis.

[giramomma]

No cavities.

I thought of you again NastyWoman.

If would have done some crafting while I was in treatment and during covid I wouldn't have ground my teeth. But I didn't, and I did grind my teeth from the stress.

And I had to have 4 fillings replaced. (They were getting old, over 25 years, though)

[busymom]

May 9, 2023 10:34:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Trying to find motivation.  Work slowed down a bit and now my brain is realizing just how burned out it is.   I really just want to sit at my desk like a blob.

I'm tired of work, tired of fighting the kids to go to school, tired of dance.  This Saturday I have to run the recital gamut.

Abby called me fat this weekend.  Specifically she asked me if I minded that I looked pregnant in a dress I just bought.   Gwen's called me old several times.  My self esteem is in the toilet.

Fucked up the budget again because I can't get myself to focus on it as much as I should.

Then there is Mother's Day coming up.

DH had a health scare all the stupid energy drinks he consumes finally caught up to him on top of his quitting his blood pressure medication (because it was better!  He didn't need it anymore!) and I am still pissed at him about it.

     Tell your kids if they're going to be unkind to you, you don't owe them any rides to activities, or anything.  In fact, it could earn them a timeout at home in their rooms until they learn some manners.

     Yes, I was a "mean mom".      If my kids were rude to me, there were penalties.  Besides, they've got to learn not to be rude to others, as it may cost them a job, etc., when they get older.


     Just chalk it up to "kids can be a$$holes", and don't take it personally.

[countrygirl2]

I am going to my doc in a few minutes. I am tired, still don't feel good. Hope she can help me. Will find out.

Found out info about DD's medicaid. Later all, got to go.

[weltschmerz]

May 9, 2023 12:35:53 GMT -5 busymom said:

May 9, 2023 10:34:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Trying to find motivation.  Work slowed down a bit and now my brain is realizing just how burned out it is.   I really just want to sit at my desk like a blob.

I'm tired of work, tired of fighting the kids to go to school, tired of dance.  This Saturday I have to run the recital gamut.

Abby called me fat this weekend.  Specifically she asked me if I minded that I looked pregnant in a dress I just bought.   Gwen's called me old several times.  My self esteem is in the toilet.

Fucked up the budget again because I can't get myself to focus on it as much as I should.

Then there is Mother's Day coming up.

DH had a health scare all the stupid energy drinks he consumes finally caught up to him on top of his quitting his blood pressure medication (because it was better!  He didn't need it anymore!) and I am still pissed at him about it.

     Tell your kids if they're going to be unkind to you, you don't owe them any rides to activities, or anything.  In fact, it could earn them a timeout at home in their rooms until they learn some manners.

     Yes, I was a "mean mom".      If my kids were rude to me, there were penalties.  Besides, they've got to learn not to be rude to others, as it may cost them a job, etc., when they get older.


     Just chalk it up to "kids can be a$$holes", and don't take it personally.

DS has NEVER insulted me to hurt my feelings, even when he was little.

I often question my own parenting, but he's kind and tells me he loves me every day. Maybe I'm not half-bad.

[Empire the P.A.]

May 9, 2023 9:14:24 GMT -5 anciana said:

May 8, 2023 18:32:03 GMT -5 Peace77 said:

That’s sounds like scones.

See, I had scones once but this Irish soda bread must be something else. It was soft and moist so I imagine that muffins made out of that recipe would be more like blueberry muffins. Since I never tasted a read soda bread, I must have a recipe that’s not authentic. It was just a recipe I found in some blog years ago, it sounded good so I made it for a few years long time ago and now wish to try again. Thank you for pointing out it should be more like scones., gives me something to think about.

anciana,
Try this recipe from King Arthur:  irish-soda-bread-muffins-recipe

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

May 9, 2023 12:30:11 GMT -5 Peace77 said:

May 9, 2023 10:34:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

DH had a health scare all the stupid energy drinks he consumes finally caught up to him on top of his quitting his blood pressure medication (because it was better!  He didn't need it anymore!) and I am still pissed at him about it.

Can you get a BP cuff to use at home?

Untreated blood pressure led to my uncle having kidney failure.  He had a terrible time on dialysis.

We do.  It needs calibrated though at his next appointment the doctor said they'll do it for him.  

It reads my BP as 110/90 so I am pretty sure it's accurate.  I know mine because it's always the same give or take a couple points.

[lurkyloo]

May 9, 2023 1:51:37 GMT -5 Opti said:

May 8, 2023 17:03:28 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Bro updated that the title arrived at last and will send over with the death certificate.  I am hoping to get Dad’s car road-legal soon.  Also kind of blown away by car pricing.  Just reading on WaPo that new cars cost a median of 48K these days, but Dad’s four year old beemer with 30k miles looks to be worth only 25Kish. Having trouble making that make sense, since I assume the majority of cars are less elevated makes.

In other news, everyone try not to need a new car soon    hopefully prices come back down to earth at some point.

How did you evaluate the worth of the car? Kelley Blue Book online? Other?

I just eyeballed similar cars on autotrader after the condo neighbor made a comment along those lines.    It’s not something I care deeply about; selling is not on the table-in fact I am confident that our ability and willingness to keep cars well past what others would consider their sell-by dates played into Dad’s reasoning in leaving me the thing specifically.

He also nominally left me a computer, which is likely tied to my penchant for periodically sending him a new ipad, but Mom wanted it which is fine.