what are you doing right now?

[raeoflyte]

May 9, 2023 4:56:46 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

It's almost 4AM. I am not sleepy but need to get some sleep. As usual, I will be dragging butt tomorrow.
I have plenty on my list of things to do tomorrow... one of which is coming up with Mother's Day gifts for my grown daughters.
They're very picky and need nothing. Maybe I'll buy them special cookies, from one of those specialty cookie stores. I can't think of the names.
Or maybe gift cards to Barnes and Noble.

I'm open to ideas, if anyone has one.

This is my least favorite holiday. It always has been. I remember trying to like it as a 4-5 yr old. Nope. It has always been awful, in my opinion.

Fancy cookies or books are awesome. If you're looking for other ideas though:

How old are the grandkids? I tend to think mothers day should focus on one's with littles, and in general what those moms want are a break. I think you already babysit regularly for them so might not be the thing, but taking kids to the park and then mcd for lunch giving mom a few hours alone which is priceless.

Outside of that I look at celebrating the women who make my life better as a mom, namely my mom and sister. I like to do something with them which for us its usually a meal, movie, or nails. Sometimes painting or crafting nights (but the chairs aren't awesome at the studios).

And otherwise plants. Indoor plants, outdoor plants. To be planted or just enjoyed for a while. Gardening or projecting together can be fun.

Dh gifts for his family but also relies on plants, or outdoor decor like birdhouses/feeders, etc.

[raeoflyte]

May 9, 2023 5:40:08 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

ARGH!

I didn’t mention this last night, but on the way back to the ship after Uber dropped us off, I missed a step and fell.  I mentioned it was pouring, which meant my dress pants got soaked.  I thought all was ok.

I got up, did a couple loads of laundry and went to breakfast.  Our new room was ready about 30 min early, so I packed up while TD hauled.  Even though we tossed a lot of crap, and sent home about 50 lbs of stuff, we still had a lot (like 8 bottles of wine, 4 of scotch, 7 jars of honey and a decent sized bag of spices along with clothes for the last several months).  In the process, my back seized up.  I think the fall wretched it last night and once I asked it to work, it was not happy.  What happens is that my pelvis shifts and seizes, which makes my normal 1/2” leg length difference more like 2”.  My back tolerates 1/2”, 2” not so much.  

So we are now fully moved over, stuff is put away and TD is now downstairs as my new card doesn’t open our door.  We have a free day until this evening, so if he wants to go into Greenwich I’m going to kick him out and let him roam, take a hot shower and a muscle relaxant to see if I can’t get things to straighten out.  It’s either this or massage.

LOL!  He just returned and now NEITHER of our cards work.  A lot od the staff turned over 4/30 and they are having a hard time getting up to speed.  I was going to get started on the hot shower, but as our room is still open, I’d kinda like to not have staff walk in on me!  Since I have been sitting here, the door’s opened twice.

I hope you get your shower, muscle relaxer, and a better back asap.

[anciana]

May 9, 2023 7:19:48 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

May 9, 2023 4:56:46 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

It's almost 4AM. I am not sleepy but need to get some sleep. As usual, I will be dragging butt tomorrow.
I have plenty on my list of things to do tomorrow... one of which is coming up with Mother's Day gifts for my grown daughters.
They're very picky and need nothing. Maybe I'll buy them special cookies, from one of those specialty cookie stores. I can't think of the names.
Or maybe gift cards to Barnes and Noble.

I'm open to ideas, if anyone has one.

This is my least favorite holiday. It always has been. I remember trying to like it as a 4-5 yr old. Nope. It has always been awful, in my opinion.

Fancy cookies or books are awesome. If you're looking for other ideas though:

How old are the grandkids? I tend to think mothers day should focus on one's with littles, and in general what those moms want are a break. I think you already babysit regularly for them so might not be the thing, but taking kids to the park and then mcd for lunch giving mom a few hours alone which is priceless.

Outside of that I look at celebrating the women who make my life better as a mom, namely my mom and sister. I like to do something with them which for us its usually a meal, movie, or nails. Sometimes painting or crafting nights (but the chairs aren't awesome at the studios).

And otherwise plants. Indoor plants, outdoor plants. To be planted or just enjoyed for a while. Gardening or projecting together can be fun.

Dh gifts for his family but also relies on plants, or outdoor decor like birdhouses/feeders, etc.

I like all of those ideas! I also seem to remember you like to craft with your granddaughters. Would it be a good idea to help them make some cards and maybe decorate the box for cookies you’ll buy or a super fancy bow for it? That way your DD gets something from both her kids and you.

[anciana]

May 8, 2023 15:05:24 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Saw the doctor this morning.  I do not have a clot on my arm.  It is a deep bruise.  He was actually more concerned about all of the cat scratches than the bruise.

On the leg, it is another superficial thrombosis.  He said there is no rhyme or reason why these happen, but they do.  He said blood thinners would make it worse after poking and prodding my veins in both legs and arms. 

I am relieved to hear it’s not a clot. Hope the bruise and superficial thrombosis have an easier recovery for you and don’t bog you down for too long.

[anciana]

May 8, 2023 16:37:45 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

I almost called an ambulance on Saturday.  Could NOT weight-bear on my R leg because of horrific knee pain. 
Then I thought "What will they do? Tell me to put ice on it and a compression bandage? I could do that!"
I do that with everything...refuse to go to the hospital, even when I slammed my head into the radiator and had a huge swollen black eye halfway down my cheek.  
What are they gonna do, besides tell me to put ice on it?

Hang in there, Welts, hope you filled your quota and you’re injury free for a long time! And hope you heal quickly!

[anciana]

May 8, 2023 16:47:56 GMT -5 Empire the P.A. said:

May 8, 2023 14:12:39 GMT -5 anciana said:

Empire the P.A. , I was wondering if you’ve been baking anything interesting lately. I wanted to bake something for weekday breakfasts  yesterday but had to change plans. Now hoping to do it tonight for the rest of the week. I had this recipe for a sweet version of Irish soda bread with dried fruit and buttermilk and was wondering if I could turn it into muffins

Irish soda bread is my nemesis. I can never get it quite right. I did try again and made them as rolls. They tasted good but was not soda bread texture. I will keep trying. 
Today I made rough puff pastry and made beef pasties. They were all eaten by the locusts in my family. 
I have 2375 recipes pinned on my Pinterest board. Trying my d#@$ best to get through them all. 

Oooh, I bet your family loved the beef pasties, it sounds delicious!
I didn’t end up baking last night, felt too tired, again, might try tonight even if it’s something else. The soda bread recipe I have made mine taste more like Costco’s blueberry muffins so I’m not sure that I have the right recipe. And I never tried the real thing so I wouldn’t know what it’s supposed to be like. I just found a recipe somewhere on the web and it sounded good so I made it.

[TheOtherMe]

Waiting until it's time for grocery pick up.  

The prescription for the medication I buy locally did not make it to the pharmacy so I sent the provider an email last night.

[raeoflyte]

I've officially quit doing dh's laundry. There is no logical reason I started or continued to do it for the last 25 years but I still feel guilty. Dh isn't upset about it and knew it was coming so it's just a me issue and it's entirely likely that I'll continue to "help" when I need more to fill up a load.

[taz157]

May 9, 2023 8:37:47 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I've officially quit doing dh's laundry. There is no logical reason I started or continued to do it for the last 25 years but I still feel guilty. Dh isn't upset about it and knew it was coming so it's just a me issue and it's entirely likely that I'll continue to "help" when I need more to fill up a load.

When DH travelled for 9 months, he started doing his laundry. He hasn’t travelled in 7 years but he still does his own laundry. It’s fabulous!!!

I wash mine and both DDs. DD1 puts hers away while I put mine and DD2’s away.

[susana1954]

May 8, 2023 19:52:15 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

May 8, 2023 18:09:08 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

I had a post, which some of you may have read.  But when I did a little quick research, I discovered that Alabama is one of two states where Medicaid does not cover assisted living.  That explains why I had only heard of people private paying initially.  

I don't know what state is the other one.

ETA:  Actually, there appears to be four states that do not allow Medicaid to pay for assisted living--Alabama, Kentucky, Louisiana, and Pennsylvania.  And no state allows for Medicaid to pay for room-and-board.  This is a pretty good article and was written in 2023.  It says to expect to have to pay $36k for that portion even if Medicaid picks up the rest.

assisted living help

I looked into that when my Mom was driving me crazy. I don’t remember everything I read, but IIRC, Medicare doesn’t pay for assisted living, period. And my Mom swore she didn’t qualify for Medicaid because of her income, but I still can’t say for sure that she actually applied. But if she’s telling the truth, Mister’s Dad most definitely wouldn’t qualify, because his income is more than hers.

I have a coworker that was taking care of his Mom daily and eventually got her approved for Medicaid. It paid for people to come to her home and help her, until she got to the point that she needed to be in a nursing home. And he still visited her every morning before he went to work, and every evening after he got off work. When he went out of town on vacation with his wife, he made sure somebody would visit his Mom every day while he was gone.

I feel like it shouldn’t be so difficult to take care of our elders. We cooperate with the capitalistic idea that we have to work for decades before we can retire and relax, at best…… because some of us will never be able to retire and I guess will have to work until they die. So how are we supposed to have the time and money to take care of our elders when they need help, like the system seems set up to expect, when we aren’t wealthy nor are our elders and we still need to work to survive and try to take care of our future selves when we get to be “old” people ourselves?

I apologize for going off on a tangent in reply to your post. None of what I typed has anything to do with you, it’s just the kind of stuff that’s been on my mind a lot lately.

Don't shoot the messenger but . . . 

Our society still expects women to provide the bulk of care, both for children and their parents.  It worked, more or less, when women didn't work outside the home.  

It is still like that in the blue-collar community where I live.  These people live in the same community where they grew up with friendships measured in decades, not years.  They live only minutes away from their parents and siblings, having never moved outside the area.  Families were often larger since this was before the pill so they can share the caregiving.  Their parents are of the generation that believed that going to a "home" was a fate worse than death because it meant no one loved you.   They believe it, too.  They are very proud of the care they give, by the way.  Oh, and did I mention that it is basically "free" to taxpayers?

I describe them because we haven't gotten past this.  This expectation is in direct conflict with the "retirement" system  you describe above.  I will say that almost all of these women have "good" pensions ("good" by their standards if not by yours) because their generation still received them.  

On a lighter note from this same group of women, I have been assigned to bring six pounds of potato salad for a funeral luncheon on Friday.  We provide a meal for the extended family after the services, free of charge.  And I am known for making extremely good potato salad.  The joke is that I quit trying to make it years ago and just buy it at Publix.  But I do put it in my own container, which is why everyone thinks I made it.  So now I have to buy six pounds of potato salad, which will cost me about $25.  They would be shocked to find out that I spent that much on something that is so "easy" to make. But I plan on not telling so I can keep my reputation as a decent cook.

[daisylu]

Listening to DD huff and puff her way through trying to get her own car insurance policy. After she hit a parked cop car Saturday DH is DONE. She acts like this when she has to do something that she does not want to do, wanting us to step in. DH helped her for a minute, while I am trying to stay out of it. She will be proud of herself once she gets it done, but getting there is headache for all of us.

[giramomma]

May 9, 2023 4:56:46 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

It's almost 4AM. I am not sleepy but need to get some sleep. As usual, I will be dragging butt tomorrow.
I have plenty on my list of things to do tomorrow... one of which is coming up with Mother's Day gifts for my grown daughters.
They're very picky and need nothing. Maybe I'll buy them special cookies, from one of those specialty cookie stores. I can't think of the names.
Or maybe gift cards to Barnes and Noble.

I'm open to ideas, if anyone has one.

This is my least favorite holiday. It always has been. I remember trying to like it as a 4-5 yr old. Nope. It has always been awful, in my opinion.

I like Barnes and Nobles. I really can't read books fast enough to have it make sense to check out books from the library. I find it hard to justify buying books.

What about a favorite type of alcohol or GC to a liquor store?

I'm loathing mother's day. It's feels more repulsive this year, rather than my normal anxiety/dislike over it.

And it's not like Christmas or St Nicks (or the Easter Bunny), where squeals of delight from kids rule. Or even nice comments from the kids about how the fictional characters manage to be thoughtful enough to know what they (the kids) want.

It's much harder to fake getting through when you are worn out from faking it everywhere else.

[raeoflyte]

May 9, 2023 8:44:54 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

May 8, 2023 19:52:15 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I looked into that when my Mom was driving me crazy. I don’t remember everything I read, but IIRC, Medicare doesn’t pay for assisted living, period. And my Mom swore she didn’t qualify for Medicaid because of her income, but I still can’t say for sure that she actually applied. But if she’s telling the truth, Mister’s Dad most definitely wouldn’t qualify, because his income is more than hers.

I have a coworker that was taking care of his Mom daily and eventually got her approved for Medicaid. It paid for people to come to her home and help her, until she got to the point that she needed to be in a nursing home. And he still visited her every morning before he went to work, and every evening after he got off work. When he went out of town on vacation with his wife, he made sure somebody would visit his Mom every day while he was gone.

I feel like it shouldn’t be so difficult to take care of our elders. We cooperate with the capitalistic idea that we have to work for decades before we can retire and relax, at best…… because some of us will never be able to retire and I guess will have to work until they die. So how are we supposed to have the time and money to take care of our elders when they need help, like the system seems set up to expect, when we aren’t wealthy nor are our elders and we still need to work to survive and try to take care of our future selves when we get to be “old” people ourselves?

I apologize for going off on a tangent in reply to your post. None of what I typed has anything to do with you, it’s just the kind of stuff that’s been on my mind a lot lately.

Don't shoot the messenger but . . . 

Our society still expects women to provide the bulk of care, both for children and their parents.  It worked, more or less, when women didn't work outside the home.  

It is still like that in the blue-collar community where I live.  These people live in the same community where they grew up with friendships measured in decades, not years.  They live only minutes away from their parents and siblings, having never moved outside the area.  Families were often larger since this was before the pill so they can share the caregiving.  Their parents are of the generation that believed that going to a "home" was a fate worse than death because it meant no one loved you.   They believe it, too.  They are very proud of the care they give, by the way.  Oh, and did I mention that it is basically "free" to taxpayers?

I describe them because we haven't gotten past this.  This expectation is in direct conflict with the "retirement" system  you describe above.  I will say that almost all of these women have "good" pensions ("good" by their standards if not by yours) because their generation still received them.  

On a lighter note from this same group of women, I have been assigned to bring six pounds of potato salad for a funeral luncheon on Friday.  We provide a meal for the extended family after the services, free of charge.  And I am known for making extremely good potato salad.  The joke is that I quit trying to make it years ago and just buy it at Publix.  But I do put it in my own container, which is why everyone thinks I made it.  So now I have to buy six pounds of potato salad, which will cost me about $25.  They would be shocked to find out that I spent that much on something that is so "easy" to make. But I plan on not telling so I can keep my reputation as a decent cook.

I bought Bob Evans mash potatoes one year for Thanksgiving. We have 20+ people for tday so it was about $25 at the time. I tried to imitate it the next year, failed and have relinquished my title.

[raeoflyte]

May 9, 2023 8:52:16 GMT -5 giramomma said:

May 9, 2023 4:56:46 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

It's almost 4AM. I am not sleepy but need to get some sleep. As usual, I will be dragging butt tomorrow.
I have plenty on my list of things to do tomorrow... one of which is coming up with Mother's Day gifts for my grown daughters.
They're very picky and need nothing. Maybe I'll buy them special cookies, from one of those specialty cookie stores. I can't think of the names.
Or maybe gift cards to Barnes and Noble.

I'm open to ideas, if anyone has one.

This is my least favorite holiday. It always has been. I remember trying to like it as a 4-5 yr old. Nope. It has always been awful, in my opinion.

I like Barnes and Nobles. I really can't read books fast enough to have it make sense to check out books from the library. I find it hard to justify buying books.

What about a favorite type of alcohol or GC to a liquor store?

I'm loathing mother's day. It's feels more repulsive this year, rather than my normal anxiety/dislike over it.

And it's not like Christmas or St Nicks (or the Easter Bunny), where squeals of delight from kids rule. Or even nice comments from the kids about how the fictional characters manage to be thoughtful enough to know what they (the kids) want.

It's much harder to fake getting through when you are worn out from faking it everywhere else.

Can you call a moratorium on mothers day at your house? Your dh can still go celebrate with his Mom, and the kids too for grandma. I'm not sure if you were planning on doing something for your mom but it seems like she's unhappy no matter what you do.

I'm most likely skipping mothers day celebration with the inlaws. It's not personal (whether they take it that way is not my problem).

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nursing home Medicaid is different from the Medicaid as we normally think about it.  I have to specifically apply for Nursing Home Medicaid.   You are correct that Medicaid Medicaid does not cover nursing home care and if I were to try to apply for that for my grandma I would get rejected.   This is trap #1 a lot of people fall into because the system is stupid and even people work in it get turned around. 

::takes deep breath::  Nursing home Medicaid will cover the costs of her living in the nursing home but it is at about $3k less than what the nursing home charges for private pay.  That is why these corporations are dropping Medicaid like a hot potato.  Those that continue to accept it by federal law cannot reject my grandmother once she goes on it and they cannot kick her out if they decide later to not accept it BUUUUUT they can choose to not allow new patients on Medicaid.  They are pushing for you have to have at least 18 months private pay OR expect family members to pony up.

Nursing home Medicaid will not cover anything other than my grandmother's living situation.  She must continue to hold her Medicare policy if she is to be eligible for nursing home Medicaid.  I have to provide all the information proving that she has Medicare which was fun I am glad I had her SS and could fake being her on the phone.   Her Medicare premiums, and I will have to double check my facts here, do not go against the $2500 she is allowed to keep in assets.  There must be enough in her account at all times to cover the premiums for Medicare.

NONE of this is easy to find or navigate.  It took me three days and multiple phone calls with Medicare, Iowa Medicaid, the Center of Aging and the Ombudsman office to find all this information.  The Center of Aging lady was wonderful she sent me a paper copy of the Medicaid form highlighted with all the parts I needed to fill out and detailed instructions walking me through it.

This is why I keep beating the dead horse that Mister needs to pony up for an elder care attorney.   Grandma didn't have the funds at the time to pay for one and I didn't have an extra $5k lying around either on top of only have 30 days to accomplish getting the application in before they started trying to evict her so I had no choice but to DIY it.

Do not sink any more money into the house instead put whatever Mister's dad has towards an attorney.  They are worth their weight in gold.  They can help with offloading the house and navigating getting dad the care he needs and any assistance he needs.   Mister will give himself a stroke trying to DIY it.

And I absolutely agree it's like this on purpose.  It is a system that never should have been for profit but because it is here we are.   It's rapidly becoming a major crisis as elderly people are homeless and families begin to enter a cycle of generational poverty trying to keep a roof over grandma's head.

Also it is normal apparently to be rejected the first time around applying.  This is another trap I was warned about.  A LOT of people cave at this point and get themselves held liable to the nursing home because they fear grandma will be homeless.  Do not do that.  You have 30-60 days to file an appeal and while that appeal is ongoing they cannot evict your loved one.   This is again where having an attorney is worth whatever you pay.  If you cannot pay one I strongly encourage calling local Legal aid and your local center of aging.   Both were willing to take on helping me with the appeal process.

[chiver78]

woo! my 11am call got cancelled. that means I'll have enough time now for a lunchtime grocery run before my 1pm call, and I can set up the instant pot to run this afternoon instead of tonight. I think the pups will be happy to have fresh shredded chicken breast instead of canned for dinner tonight. 

also, I've unpacked all of my clothes to the hamper. I'll start laundry after the IP. my small roller suitcase is still open on the dining room table. it's about half full, and I need about half of that to stay there for my work trip next week. and by "work trip" I mean 2 nights in a hotel near the office b/c they have scheduled team meetings at 9am and 3pm on Monday. fuckers.   

[andi9899]

May 9, 2023 8:50:24 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Listening to DD huff and puff her way through trying to get her own car insurance policy. After she hit a parked cop car Saturday DH is DONE. She acts like this when she has to do something that she does not want to do, wanting us to step in. DH helped her for a minute, while I am trying to stay out of it. She will be proud of herself once she gets it done, but getting there is headache for all of us.

Isn't parenthood fun?

[jerseygirl]

May 9, 2023 8:37:47 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I've officially quit doing dh's laundry. There is no logical reason I started or continued to do it for the last 25 years but I still feel guilty. Dh isn't upset about it and knew it was coming so it's just a me issue and it's entirely likely that I'll continue to "help" when I need more to fill up a load.

Jerseyguy has done his laundry since about 5 yrs after we married. He was complaining and telling me what to do - so - told him to do it himself since he knew what he wanted

[anciana]

May 8, 2023 18:32:03 GMT -5 Peace77 said:

May 8, 2023 14:12:39 GMT -5 anciana said:

Empire the P.A. , I was wondering if you’ve been baking anything interesting lately. I wanted to bake something for weekday breakfasts  yesterday but had to change plans. Now hoping to do it tonight for the rest of the week. I had this recipe for a sweet version of Irish soda bread with dried fruit and buttermilk and was wondering if I could turn it into muffins

That’s sounds like scones.

See, I had scones once but this Irish soda bread must be something else. It was soft and moist so I imagine that muffins made out of that recipe would be more like blueberry muffins. Since I never tasted a read soda bread, I must have a recipe that’s not authentic. It was just a recipe I found in some blog years ago, it sounded good so I made it for a few years long time ago and now wish to try again. Thank you for pointing out it should be more like scones., gives me something to think about.

[daisylu]

May 9, 2023 9:08:32 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

May 9, 2023 8:50:24 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Listening to DD huff and puff her way through trying to get her own car insurance policy. After she hit a parked cop car Saturday DH is DONE. She acts like this when she has to do something that she does not want to do, wanting us to step in. DH helped her for a minute, while I am trying to stay out of it. She will be proud of herself once she gets it done, but getting there is headache for all of us.

Isn't parenthood fun?

Not. At. All.

Once she got over the initial OMG I have to figure this out and actually talked to an agent, she was fine.

[raeoflyte]

May 9, 2023 8:41:17 GMT -5 taz157 said:

May 9, 2023 8:37:47 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I've officially quit doing dh's laundry. There is no logical reason I started or continued to do it for the last 25 years but I still feel guilty. Dh isn't upset about it and knew it was coming so it's just a me issue and it's entirely likely that I'll continue to "help" when I need more to fill up a load.

When DH travelled for 9 months, he started doing his laundry. He hasn’t travelled in 7 years but he still does his own laundry. It’s fabulous!!!

I wash mine and both DDs. DD1 puts hers away while I put mine and DD2’s away.

That's better that it was your dh's decision. I wish dh had taken some initiative when I told him I was likely going to stop. He washed cloth diapers for years, and will take on a gross mess like a champ but the mundane is always is undoing.

I started the kids on their own laundry maybe the beginning of this year? Ds needs reminders, but handles it himself. Dc I usually help with some piece of it still, but this summer it's on them. I'm planning on handing off most of the house and yard work to the kids over the summer. Its the payment for my very loose screen time limits.

[giramomma]

May 9, 2023 9:06:19 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

May 9, 2023 8:52:16 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I like Barnes and Nobles. I really can't read books fast enough to have it make sense to check out books from the library. I find it hard to justify buying books.

What about a favorite type of alcohol or GC to a liquor store?

I'm loathing mother's day. It's feels more repulsive this year, rather than my normal anxiety/dislike over it.

And it's not like Christmas or St Nicks (or the Easter Bunny), where squeals of delight from kids rule. Or even nice comments from the kids about how the fictional characters manage to be thoughtful enough to know what they (the kids) want.

It's much harder to fake getting through when you are worn out from faking it everywhere else.

Can you call a moratorium on mothers day at your house? Your dh can still go celebrate with his Mom, and the kids too for grandma. I'm not sure if you were planning on doing something for your mom but it seems like she's unhappy no matter what you do.

I'm most likely skipping mothers day celebration with the inlaws. It's not personal (whether they take it that way is not my problem).

I pretty much already do request that we acknowledge mothers day as little as possible. And my birthday, DH's birthday, and our anniversary. Usually I can muster something for Father's day.

 I'd be happy to add Christmas into the mix, but I think the kids would side eye us if we didn't at least exchange gifts on Christmas.

It's been like this for while now. I'd rather not celebrate than have to plan and execute myself.

[raeoflyte]

May 9, 2023 9:14:21 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

May 9, 2023 8:37:47 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I've officially quit doing dh's laundry. There is no logical reason I started or continued to do it for the last 25 years but I still feel guilty. Dh isn't upset about it and knew it was coming so it's just a me issue and it's entirely likely that I'll continue to "help" when I need more to fill up a load.

Jerseyguy has done his laundry since about 5 yrs after we married. He was complaining and telling me what to do - so - told him to do it himself since he knew what he wanted

The piece I can't figure out is why I started doing his laundry in the first place. Other chores I benefit from so I know how I ended up being the default for those. But I always worked more hours than he did so why I started doing his laundry is beyond me. I suppose we bought 1 hamper and it just happened.

[raeoflyte]

May 9, 2023 9:28:15 GMT -5 giramomma said:

May 9, 2023 9:06:19 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Can you call a moratorium on mothers day at your house? Your dh can still go celebrate with his Mom, and the kids too for grandma. I'm not sure if you were planning on doing something for your mom but it seems like she's unhappy no matter what you do.

I'm most likely skipping mothers day celebration with the inlaws. It's not personal (whether they take it that way is not my problem).

I pretty much already do request that we acknowledge mothers day as little as possible. And my birthday, DH's birthday, and our anniversary. Usually I can muster something for Father's day.

 I'd be happy to add Christmas into the mix, but I think the kids would side eye us if we didn't at least exchange gifts on Christmas.

It's been like this for while now. I'd rather not celebrate than have to plan and execute myself.

Totally agree with the last piece. I celebrate more things because of my parents/sister, but really try to keep it simple and something I enjoy too.

[minnesotapaintlady]

My biggest problem with Mother's Day is my moms are 150 miles apart.  Usually it ends up being a big driving loop.  Scouts sell spring plants that are delivered the week before (just got 30 huge plants packed in my van last night), so Mother's Day is when I deliver everyone their orders.

This year though, I think we might do the loop on Saturday.  I'll be bringing DS home from school this weekend as well and he starts his internship on Monday.  I think we're going to need Sunday to make sure he's ready.  I'm pretty sure he's going to need a trip to the mall to get some dressier clothes.  At least a couple pairs of dress pants and some polo shirts.  He has a closet full from high school but none fit him anymore.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Mother Day usually sucks for me.  It is exhausting always putting other people first and they can't even be bothered to put me first for one freaking day of the year that is actually singled out for that purpose so it's not like they can forget it.

On top of it this year both our moms are gone.   So I feel like that is going to end up being the primary focus of the day.

[weltschmerz]

May 9, 2023 6:57:18 GMT -5 Opti said:

So sorry about the back problems Mich and Wvu. Mich I hope your key and back issues resolve soon.

I'm having some weird issues with my right side around my waist. Maybe you or other posters will have some ideas and also what I might be able to do. I used to go to a Chiropractor regularly, but its been too much of a drive for the state of my car, and my new hours make it hard to come up with an appointment time. 

My ankles, calves, and leg muscles have been seizing up off and on during this whole NJ Spring pollen season into NJ Summer. I also sleep on a very old mattress, Tempur-Pedic which has needed replacing for more than a few years. I sleep in some awkward positions to make it work, like slightly diagonal across the top. Really close to the edge on one side, etc. I tossed my pillow that I got at the same out sometime last year as the memory foam was kaput.

It seems to do with my ribs near my waist on the right side. I've tried twists to even it out, but everything hurts and my entire body is exhausted but moving cuz its just me. I do have a historical imbalance with my legs, but I have no idea how much. I would think less than Mich maybe .5 to 1 inch? And maybe its because I tense up on that side? IDK.

Good wishes to you both. Allergy season sucks and having back issues and problems walking always sucks.

Do you sleep with a pillow between your legs? It helps with a multitude of ills.

[weltschmerz]

May 9, 2023 8:04:48 GMT -5 anciana said:

May 8, 2023 16:37:45 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

I almost called an ambulance on Saturday.  Could NOT weight-bear on my R leg because of horrific knee pain. 
Then I thought "What will they do? Tell me to put ice on it and a compression bandage? I could do that!"
I do that with everything...refuse to go to the hospital, even when I slammed my head into the radiator and had a huge swollen black eye halfway down my cheek.  
What are they gonna do, besides tell me to put ice on it?

Hang in there, Welts, hope you filled your quota and you’re injury free for a long time! And hope you heal quickly!

I have filled my quota for the next few years.

[weltschmerz]

May 9, 2023 7:19:48 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

May 9, 2023 4:56:46 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

It's almost 4AM. I am not sleepy but need to get some sleep. As usual, I will be dragging butt tomorrow.
I have plenty on my list of things to do tomorrow... one of which is coming up with Mother's Day gifts for my grown daughters.
They're very picky and need nothing. Maybe I'll buy them special cookies, from one of those specialty cookie stores. I can't think of the names.
Or maybe gift cards to Barnes and Noble.

I'm open to ideas, if anyone has one.

This is my least favorite holiday. It always has been. I remember trying to like it as a 4-5 yr old. Nope. It has always been awful, in my opinion.

Fancy cookies or books are awesome. If you're looking for other ideas though:

How old are the grandkids? I tend to think mothers day should focus on one's with littles, and in general what those moms want are a break. I think you already babysit regularly for them so might not be the thing, but taking kids to the park and then mcd for lunch giving mom a few hours alone which is priceless.

Outside of that I look at celebrating the women who make my life better as a mom, namely my mom and sister. I like to do something with them which for us its usually a meal, movie, or nails. Sometimes painting or crafting nights (but the chairs aren't awesome at the studios).

And otherwise plants. Indoor plants, outdoor plants. To be planted or just enjoyed for a while. Gardening or projecting together can be fun.

Dh gifts for his family but also relies on plants, or outdoor decor like birdhouses/feeders, etc.

I always want plants for Mother's Day.  Big hanging baskets of flowers for my balcony.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

It is now 3:30 and we are still without a functional key card to get into our room.  I have absolutely no idea what’s going on, but suspect it has something to do with the strange woman’s name on the display on our phone.  Today, we have had the cards keyed no less than 8 times.  This is getting old, as if we exit (like we did for lunch) we needed to find housekeeping to let us back in.  So only one person can go out at a time.  

Just as well we are having a slow day, after yesterday and this morning.  We just popped open one of the bottles of sparkling wine we have.  For the rest of the cruise, the booze is on us.  While Viking’s drink package is very reasonable, neither of us drink enough to make it worthwhile.  $25/pp/day means each of us need to drink at least 3-4 drinks daily to break even.  Coffee and soda are available for free for us.  The world cruise included the drink package and gratuities.  Now we are on the hook.  We do have a decent balance, which is supposed to be credited to our account.