discussion on "ghetto" - definition, connotation, usage

[taz157]

Oct 4, 2021 11:22:45 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

This thread is making my headache worse this morning.

That’s why I skimmed some things instead of reading everything. I’ve got enough going on in my personal life, I don’t need to get worked up on other things.

[MJ2.0]

Oct 4, 2021 11:36:31 GMT -5 taz157 said:

Oct 4, 2021 11:22:45 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

This thread is making my headache worse this morning.

That’s why I skimmed some things instead of reading everything. I’ve got enough going on in my personal life, I don’t need to get worked up on other things.

X 1000

[bean29]

Oct 4, 2021 11:22:45 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

This thread is making my headache worse this morning.

Mine too, I was unsure of what was going on last week as far as if someone used something inappropriately, and my thought just before your post was "I'm confused". 

[laterbloomer]

Oct 4, 2021 4:03:35 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

How the heck did anybody find a way to misconstrue most or all of anything I said about my co-worker's discomfort about the place we work? How? Were y'all so hellbent on finding something to argue about that you deliberately read your own notions into it?

Ugh. What I said about dissecting/parsing every syllable. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

1. If those of you who are dissing my comments will go back and read, you will understand that I was relaying my co-worker's words and distress, not my own, but yes, I understood how she'd feel uneasy.

2. Yes. From another poster "I've missed the last few pages, but a few thoughts after skimming." And therein lies the problem. Skimming. Yanno what? It is important to listen, really listen (in this case read) what's said by the poster, not by someone responding to the poster. I did not disagree with her so that makes me racist? What? Have y'all taken leave of your senses?

3. I'm at a loss to figure out WTF made laterbloomer decide that relaying the feelings of my black co-worker made me into a racist, what made raeoflyte (mistakenly) pick up on that, or what on earth possessed @pinkcshmere to rant. Except that it is important to listen, really listen...and y'all didn't.

Apparently there are those among you who simply want to get your butts up on your shoulders and are tickled to death that you have somebody to on.

My neighborhood is in a diverse area of the city. I didn't call it a ghetto. My co-worker used the word, not meaning a place but an attitude. Truth to tell, I had no idea that it meant anything except a place. I'm sorry that y'all are miffed at her words.

Except for one, all of my co-workers are black. I've been called "that old white lady who makes biscuits" and overhead someone say "that's something only white people do". I don't think it makes them racist, but what do I know?

Y'all can dismount from your high horses now. Y'all can continue to disparage me for repeating the word ghetto. And what right, after all, does my black co-worker have to use that word or any word? She must be racist along with me. Hmph. Let's all just jump on that ridiculous bandwagon.

It's very apparent that y'all are going to continue to believe that my relaying of a co-worker's valid feelings and of a harrowing incident at work makes me racist. Fine.

Let's quit using words altogether. Words can be mistaken, which is exactly what this post will prove. Again. Let's use sign language. For those of you who were determined to flame me without bothering to read and understand what was written, you know where you can go and what you can do when you get there. My social finger says it all. 

I am offended and rightly so. Maybe I'll be back sometime. Or not.

I accept that you didn't mean it the way it sounded. But it sounded like you were saying that since your black friend, who would be more comfortable with ghettos because she is black (racist assumption), said it was too ghetto (derogatory racist term) then obviously it would be too ghetto for you, a white person (racist stereotype). You can ignore the fact that is how it came across and continue to offend people if you like.

[laterbloomer]

Oct 4, 2021 10:38:25 GMT -5 Opti said:

Oct 4, 2021 9:59:14 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I can't quote the statement word for word because it's gone now. That was basically what it said. And she didn’t use another word. She said black and that the fact that the black person perceived something as ghetto then it must be.

I don't think we'd even still be talking about it had she taken the time to reflect on what was said and discuss it vs throwing a fit and leaving.

It can't be discussed because some posters took the position they knew what she meant better than she did. So it was more of a how dare you believe what I assumed you believe situation. People weren't looking for clarification or discussion. They wanted Miss R to say she was wrong and apologize. That's not a discussion, its a poster public reprimand.

Now, if someone could have been honest and realized how they read her statement included an assumption there could have been a discussion. It could have even included something like, when I saw that I assumed you meant all black people know what ghetto is.  Many people might see it the way I did, so perhaps in the future, leave out the word black so people like me don't make the wrong assumption.

My original response was "Please tell me you didn't mean that the way it sounded" It gave Miss R the perfect chance to say she did not mean to be offensive. Instead she got defensive and dug in her heels. I thought raeflyte and pink did a great job addressing it nicely and was ready to let go, but I am really glad the conversation was had. I've been in the position of being corrected. I was embarrassed but it was better than continuing to be unnintentionally ignorant.

[Deleted]

Oct 4, 2021 4:03:35 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

How the heck did anybody find a way to misconstrue most or all of anything I said about my co-worker's discomfort about the place we work? How? Were y'all so hellbent on finding something to argue about that you deliberately read your own notions into it?

Ugh. What I said about dissecting/parsing every syllable. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

1. If those of you who are dissing my comments will go back and read, you will understand that I was relaying my co-worker's words and distress, not my own, but yes, I understood how she'd feel uneasy.

2. Yes. From another poster "I've missed the last few pages, but a few thoughts after skimming." And therein lies the problem. Skimming. Yanno what? It is important to listen, really listen (in this case read) what's said by the poster, not by someone responding to the poster. I did not disagree with her so that makes me racist? What? Have y'all taken leave of your senses?

3. I'm at a loss to figure out WTF made laterbloomer decide that relaying the feelings of my black co-worker made me into a racist, what made raeoflyte (mistakenly) pick up on that, or what on earth possessed @pinkcshmere to rant. Except that it is important to listen, really listen...and y'all didn't.

Apparently there are those among you who simply want to get your butts up on your shoulders and are tickled to death that you have somebody to on.

My neighborhood is in a diverse area of the city. I didn't call it a ghetto. My co-worker used the word, not meaning a place but an attitude. Truth to tell, I had no idea that it meant anything except a place. I'm sorry that y'all are miffed at her words.

Except for one, all of my co-workers are black. I've been called "that old white lady who makes biscuits" and overhead someone say "that's something only white people do". I don't think it makes them racist, but what do I know?

Y'all can dismount from your high horses now. Y'all can continue to disparage me for repeating the word ghetto. And what right, after all, does my black co-worker have to use that word or any word? She must be racist along with me. Hmph. Let's all just jump on that ridiculous bandwagon.

It's very apparent that y'all are going to continue to believe that my relaying of a co-worker's valid feelings and of a harrowing incident at work makes me racist. Fine.

Let's quit using words altogether. Words can be mistaken, which is exactly what this post will prove. Again. Let's use sign language. For those of you who were determined to flame me without bothering to read and understand what was written, you know where you can go and what you can do when you get there. My social finger says it all. 

I am offended and rightly so. Maybe I'll be back sometime. Or not.

It all bears repeating, dammit. My co-worker's words are her words. She's as entitled to her words and feelings as you are to yours.

Between yesterday and today I've read several interpretations of what I said, what I meant. We started with a word, ghetto, that was used by my co-worker, moved on to racism, and whatever all else. then to my "stomping off".

I "stomped off" because it's so damned frustrating to make even one of you understand that I was merely relating a conversation, a statement, an incident, none of which were at my instigation. None of them. Not even my words. I didn't say I agreed or disagreed with her, only that I understood why she felt that way.

The above makes me racist? WTF? Is everyeffingbody mad at the world and just took advantage of a  marvelous opportunity to make it all about how racist I am? Is that it? Does evereffingbody need a scapegoat, and I looked like a likely candidate? Was there an easy way with a mighty reach and stretch to turn the post into something that could be chewed up, digested and spit out and me with it?

I went back and read Pink's post.  There she was, all indignant and arguing in favor of everything I said without even realizing that she was agreeing with me. But, yanno, it's important to seize on something controversial and be indignant.

And incidentally, I have no idea if the trainee is black or white or Pacific Islander or Latinex, Asian, South African or Christian or Muslim, B'hai, Jewish or nothing at all. I haven't met him and don't care. I only know because I've been told by a manager that "Well, we don't like to fire anyone" and "We have to have another cook".

Can y'all just kindly quit assigning your feelings and let this die? Please? I'm tired of trying to explain myself, and what's more, I don't see why I should have to. Get a grip. Stop the nonsense now that y'all have had ample opportunity to unload all your little hostilities and aggressions in whatever shape or form they were.

laterbloomer You're darned right I got defensive and dug in my heels. As @pinkcshmere is fond of saying, "don't assume", which is precisely what you did.

If someone feels compelled to have the last word, go right ahead. I  won't be back on this thread.

[MJ2.0]

If this still needs to be discussed, can it be part of another thread please?

[Deleted]

Oct 4, 2021 9:13:06 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Oct 4, 2021 8:54:16 GMT -5 giramomma said:

FWIW, one of my mentors used "ghetto" to describe an attitude of a kiddo once that we both used to work with.

The kiddo was not raised in the place, but had the attitudes.

My mentor has made it her life's work specifically teaching "at-risk" kids. Of course, there is quite a range. Inner city Milwaukee (where she spent most of her working life before retirement from the public schools) at risk kids and at risk kids in the city we live in now...are two completely different situations.

It never dawned on me that describing someone as being ghetto would be anything different as describing someone as a Karen or saying "OK, Boomer."

I also don't see it as a racial issue. Non-POC live in the ghetto, too. They can have ghetto attitudes. My son talks about this pretty openly.

It also wouldn't bother me to hear it. Not everyone has the time to think through every word so that it would pass DEI muster. I think that's a luxury in itself that shows privilege.

The issue was not with the word ghetto being used. It was the statement "she's black so if she says it's ghetto, then it is." I'm not black but I still found the statement offensive. Pink tried to explain her perspective and IMO did so politely. MissR then went on a tangent and stomped off.

I’m not sure what’s so hard to understand about why that was problematic. 

When I read through the thread this morning, I had decided to let it go.

But then here comes another post “going off” one more time, I guess.

I tried to be graceful and gentle yesterday. But, I’m about to match energy and show my ass with all this foot stomping and tantrums. Even an old lady can get it for being disrespectful.

[andi9899]

Oct 4, 2021 12:31:08 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

Oct 4, 2021 4:03:35 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

How the heck did anybody find a way to misconstrue most or all of anything I said about my co-worker's discomfort about the place we work? How? Were y'all so hellbent on finding something to argue about that you deliberately read your own notions into it?

Ugh. What I said about dissecting/parsing every syllable. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

1. If those of you who are dissing my comments will go back and read, you will understand that I was relaying my co-worker's words and distress, not my own, but yes, I understood how she'd feel uneasy.

2. Yes. From another poster "I've missed the last few pages, but a few thoughts after skimming." And therein lies the problem. Skimming. Yanno what? It is important to listen, really listen (in this case read) what's said by the poster, not by someone responding to the poster. I did not disagree with her so that makes me racist? What? Have y'all taken leave of your senses?

3. I'm at a loss to figure out WTF made laterbloomer decide that relaying the feelings of my black co-worker made me into a racist, what made raeoflyte (mistakenly) pick up on that, or what on earth possessed @pinkcshmere to rant. Except that it is important to listen, really listen...and y'all didn't.

Apparently there are those among you who simply want to get your butts up on your shoulders and are tickled to death that you have somebody to on.

My neighborhood is in a diverse area of the city. I didn't call it a ghetto. My co-worker used the word, not meaning a place but an attitude. Truth to tell, I had no idea that it meant anything except a place. I'm sorry that y'all are miffed at her words.

Except for one, all of my co-workers are black. I've been called "that old white lady who makes biscuits" and overhead someone say "that's something only white people do". I don't think it makes them racist, but what do I know?

Y'all can dismount from your high horses now. Y'all can continue to disparage me for repeating the word ghetto. And what right, after all, does my black co-worker have to use that word or any word? She must be racist along with me. Hmph. Let's all just jump on that ridiculous bandwagon.

It's very apparent that y'all are going to continue to believe that my relaying of a co-worker's valid feelings and of a harrowing incident at work makes me racist. Fine.

Let's quit using words altogether. Words can be mistaken, which is exactly what this post will prove. Again. Let's use sign language. For those of you who were determined to flame me without bothering to read and understand what was written, you know where you can go and what you can do when you get there. My social finger says it all. 

I am offended and rightly so. Maybe I'll be back sometime. Or not.

It all bears repeating, dammit. My co-worker's words are her words. She's as entitled to her words and feelings as you are to yours.

Between yesterday and today I've read several interpretations of what I said, what I meant. We started with a word, ghetto, that was used by my co-worker, moved on to racism, and whatever all else. then to my "stomping off".

I "stomped off" because it's so damned frustrating to make even one of you understand that I was merely relating a conversation, a statement, an incident, none of which were at my instigation. None of them. Not even my words. I didn't say I agreed or disagreed with her, only that I understood why she felt that way.

The above makes me racist? WTF? Is everyeffingbody mad at the world and just took advantage of a  marvelous opportunity to make it all about how racist I am? Is that it? Does evereffingbody need a scapegoat, and I looked like a likely candidate? Was there an easy way with a mighty reach and stretch to turn the post into something that could be chewed up, digested and spit out and me with it?

I went back and read Pink's post.  There she was, all indignant and arguing in favor of everything I said without even realizing that she was agreeing with me. But, yanno, it's important to seize on something controversial and be indignant.

And incidentally, I have no idea if the trainee is black or white or Pacific Islander or Latinex, Asian, South African or Christian or Muslim, B'hai, Jewish or nothing at all. I haven't met him and don't care. I only know because I've been told by a manager that "Well, we don't like to fire anyone" and "We have to have another cook".

Can y'all just kindly quit assigning your feelings and let this die? Please? I'm tired of trying to explain myself, and what's more, I don't see why I should have to. Get a grip. Stop the nonsense now that y'all have had ample opportunity to unload all your little hostilities and aggressions in whatever shape or form they were.

laterbloomer You're darned right I got defensive and dug in my heels. As @pinkcshmere is fond of saying, "don't assume", which is precisely what you did.

If someone feels compelled to have the last word, go right ahead. I  won't be back on this thread.

You really don't get it, do you?

[laterbloomer]

@missrigby why was the fact that the coworker you were quoting was black relevant?

[jerseygirl]

Oct 4, 2021 12:54:31 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

@missrigby why was the fact that the coworker you were quoting was black relevant?

Can you just STOP!

[countrygirl2]

DD and I went to town, we had brunch, since we didn't eat breakfast. We have an old timey diner where I bought breakfast, eggs over easy, dry toast, and hash browns. DD had toasted cheese and fries. They even have, of all things, fried baloney sandwiches! We eat there sometimes, always good. Friday they have shrimp, fish, and frog legs, I'm getting some this Friday, yummy.

I forgot the bank deposits and some receipts to mail, but need to go back tomorrow for PT so will do those then.

Glad I'm not in this controversary and staying out, I try to be nice and not mess up but I do at times and don't realize it. Sometimes hard for me to understand too, being lily white and growing up such I think makes us less sensitive at times. Hubs does better then me, but he worked in really diverse situations and did great.

[Opti]

FYI, I have deleted some posts as I missed something important. Both here and in the thread I hope will be locked soon.

ymam.proboards.com/post/3299517

[jelloshots4all]

Oct 4, 2021 11:22:45 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

This thread is making my headache worse this morning.

No shit.  Start a new thread for this topic please

[raeoflyte]

Oct 4, 2021 15:22:26 GMT -5 jelloshots4all said:

Oct 4, 2021 11:22:45 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

This thread is making my headache worse this morning.

No shit.  Start a new thread for this topic please

That was done and I think it made it worse.

[Deleted]

Oct 4, 2021 15:22:26 GMT -5 jelloshots4all said:

Oct 4, 2021 11:22:45 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

This thread is making my headache worse this morning.

No shit.  Start a new thread for this topic please

A better idea is to just no longer address it. 

[Deleted]

Oct 4, 2021 15:28:54 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

A better idea is to just no longer address it. 

Amen.

I've been experiencing the deterioration of "customer service" this afternoon. Called 3 different restaurants to get information about a possible Holiday Luncheon for the Garden Club in early December. Each time I got passed on to someone else and had to explain all over again what I wanted to find out. I also need to schedule a breast MRI in October- had a mammogram in April and I alternate every 6 months (high risk due to family history). Two months ago I called Scheduling. They didn't have orders from the Nurse Practitioner but would call and get them from her. They also routed me to (I thought) her office line whether I left a message saying I needed the orders. I called Scheduling today. They do not have orders. I asked how I was supposed to get them and got disconnected. Called a number I got from the web site for the NP and got ANOTHER scheduling person. She routed me to the NP's Medical Assistant. I asked if they could give me the Assistant's direct number. Nope. Got her voicemail, of course, and left a message.

If my sister weren't walking around boobless after a total mastectomy (her choice after discovered one little tiny tumor) I'd give up.

[laterbloomer]

Oct 4, 2021 15:28:54 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

Oct 4, 2021 15:22:26 GMT -5 jelloshots4all said:

No shit.  Start a new thread for this topic please

A better idea is to just no longer address it. 

That would be more comfortable for you but not for those that you offended.

[andi9899]

Oct 4, 2021 16:43:36 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Oct 4, 2021 15:28:54 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

A better idea is to just no longer address it. 

That would be more comfortable for you but not for those that you offended.

That's what I thought. So we can all make offensive remarks and storm off and then come back and all is well? Is that how that works now?

[Deleted]

Oct 4, 2021 17:08:08 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Oct 4, 2021 16:43:36 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

That would be more comfortable for you but not for those that you offended.

That's what I thought. So we can all make offensive remarks and storm off and then come back and all is well? Is that how that works now?

That’s the message I am getting. And I feel some type of way about it.

[seriousthistime]

Oct 4, 2021 17:08:08 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Oct 4, 2021 16:43:36 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

That would be more comfortable for you but not for those that you offended.

That's what I thought. So we can all make offensive remarks and storm off and then come back and all is well? Is that how that works now?

Did I not predict this?  

See the last paragraph in my reply at #127411 on page 4248. 

Sometimes I just can't resist saying "I told you so."

[laterbloomer]

Oct 4, 2021 17:39:19 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Oct 4, 2021 17:08:08 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

That's what I thought. So we can all make offensive remarks and storm off and then come back and all is well? Is that how that works now?

Did I not predict this?  

See the last paragraph in my reply at #127411 on page 4248. 

Sometimes I just can't resist saying "I told you so."

All I can say is that we don't all feel that way. Many of us are just fine with calling out, and being called out on (even though it stings) racist comments and assumptions. Some of us really do want to do better and will not insist POC take it quietly so that things don't get uncomfortable.

[Deleted]

Oct 4, 2021 17:48:03 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Oct 4, 2021 17:39:19 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Did I not predict this?  

See the last paragraph in my reply at #127411 on page 4248. 

Sometimes I just can't resist saying "I told you so."

All I can say is that we don't all feel that way. Many of us are just fine with calling out, and being called out on (even though it stings) racist comments and assumptions. Some of us really do want to do better and will not insist POC take it quietly so that things don't get uncomfortable.

Soooo, I’ve been struggling for hours now, with feeling like this.

A lot of people feel like this is a safe place for them to unwind, chit chat and talk about things in their lives that they are happy about, upset about or just want to share. That’s how I see it myself.

Like I said in my reply to andi9899 I feel some type of way about how things went down. I also feel some type of way about people having an issue with the conversation taking place here, in the same place that the original comment was made. So if I have an issue with something somebody says here, I’m supposed to do what? Pretend they didn’t say what they said? Start a whole new thread to address it? Why? To protect the other people that read the same thing I did and let them continue enjoying their “happy place” here without witnessing something “uncomfortable”? What about the fact that MY “happy place” was disturbed unapologetically? 

It didn’t even have to go as far as it did. My first post on the subject included what was basically an attempt to provide a graceful “out”. 

I’ve been wanting to chit chat here all day, but I haven’t, because I’m feeling kind of crazy about talking here anymore since it apparently requires pretending shit is ok that is not ok.

I usually try to talk like I have some sense around here, I try to be kind and I try to be respectful. And when I’m none of those things, I own my shit. I give y’all the mature Pink, when I’ve been honest that I’m not always mature or even nice and respectful IRL, when somebody rubs me the wrong way. So, when I start saying crazy shit around here, Imma need folks to keep that same energy they had today and let it be okay.

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Oct 4, 2021 18:20:10 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Oct 4, 2021 17:48:03 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

All I can say is that we don't all feel that way. Many of us are just fine with calling out, and being called out on (even though it stings) racist comments and assumptions. Some of us really do want to do better and will not insist POC take it quietly so that things don't get uncomfortable.

Soooo, I’ve been struggling for hours now, with feeling like this.

A lot of people feel like this is a safe place for them to unwind, chit chat and talk about things in their lives that they are happy about, upset about or just want to share. That’s how I see it myself.

Like I said in my reply to andi9899  I feel some type of way about how things went down. I also feel some type of way about people having an issue with the conversation taking place here, in the same place that the original comment was made. So if I have an issue with something somebody says here, I’m supposed to do what? Pretend they didn’t say what they said? Start a whole new thread to address it? Why? To protect the other people that read the same thing I did and let them continue enjoying their “happy place” here without witnessing something “uncomfortable”? What about the fact that MY “happy place” was disturbed unapologetically? 

It didn’t even have to go as far as it did. My first post on the subject included what was basically an attempt to provide a graceful “out”. 

I’ve been wanting to chit chat here all day, but I haven’t, because I’m feeling kind of crazy about talking here anymore since it apparently requires pretending shit is ok that is not ok.

I usually try to talk like I have some sense around here, I try to be kind and I try to be respectful. And when I’m none of those things, I own my shit. I give y’all the mature Pink, when I’ve been honest that I’m not always mature or even nice and respectful IRL, when somebody rubs me the wrong way. So, when I start saying crazy shit around here, Imma need folks to keep that same energy they had today and let it be okay.

I'm late to the party but want to official sign onto team Pink.

It shouldn't be Pink who has to accept her space here being made uncomfortable for herself, and I'd like to call my fellow posters out on failing to stand by Pink just because another poster can't seem to grasp that we all have room to grow and learn. 

What might have happened if someone had just said - "oh gosh! I didn't realize, sorry" instead of throwing an ongoing, multiday tantrum about how offended she is that someone gently pointed out she was being offensive.

#kareninourmidst

[Deleted]

A few weeks ago I mentioned my co-worker's comment and how surprised I was that she said it. Her being black was mentioned so that there was context to her comment. We live in a very diverse neighborhood and the shop is in the same diverse neighborhood. At the time I thought that she meant a place. We talked abut it on this thread, and nobody was offended.

Then yesterday along comes someone who rarely posts on this thread and told one and all that you're supposed to be offended. Therefore, everybody is offended. WTH is up with that?

So if y'all want to be offended, then go ahead. You weren't before, only now that you've been told to be.

I've had my share of offensive remarks...not on this board to be clear...I've been called "that Filipino girl" and "a hairy, black-@$$ Canuck" among other things. There's no need to educate me about offensive remarks.

I, too, feel "some type of way" about the comment and its taking on a life of its own. Y'all have shown me your true colors. Obviously, I am merely tolerated. And also obviously, I'm pissing in the wind because y'all have made up your minds that you're offended because, yanno, you've been told that you are. Even though you weren't until yesterday because nobody told you to be until then.

Yanno, what? I'm offended that in spite of "knowing" me y'all have decided that the person who rarely posts here told you to be offended is absolutely in charge of, well, everything. The alpha and omega, the arbiter, the be all and end all, the omnipotent.

So let her have the last word. Let her tell you what to think and what to think of me.

FTR, she has dogged my tracks and found ways to bait me from time to time over a period of almost 15 years. Fool me once, shame on her. Fool me twice, shame on me. She baited me again, and I allowed it to happen. Duh. I didn't learn.

Everybody's angry and frustrated and feeling hateful for whatever reason...their lives? their own personal demons? the political climate? their finances? the pandemic? anything at all...and gosh, here I am snapping at her bait and a sitting duck for everybody to unload on. Because she said so.

Have at it while she sits and gloats "gotcha" once again. No. She's not going to run me off. No. I'm not going to continue posting on a thread where I've become a pariah because she decreed it. And I'm not going spend another day crying because people I thought were friends who'd defend me, decided that a version of a whispering campaign was more important to them than a long-time friend.

One more thing. One more. This morning I blocked her. Guess what? She's no longer blocked. Guess what else? My ability to try to block again her has been disabled. I can only either message her or send her a gift. Amazing, isn't it? Reckon how the heck that happened?

[laterbloomer]

Oct 4, 2021 19:27:39 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

A few weeks ago I mentioned my co-worker's comment and how surprised I was that she said it. Her being black was mentioned so that there was context to her comment. We live in a very diverse neighborhood and the shop is in the same diverse neighborhood. At the time I thought that she meant a place. We talked abut it on this thread, and nobody was offended.

Then yesterday along comes someone who rarely posts on this thread and told one and all that you're supposed to be offended. Therefore, everybody is offended. WTH is up with that?

So if y'all want to be offended, then go ahead. You weren't before, only now that you've been told to be.

I've had my share of offensive remarks...not on this board to be clear...I've been called "that Filipino girl" and "a hairy, black-@$$ Canuck" among other things. There's no need to educate me about offensive remarks.

I, too, feel "some type of way" about the comment and its taking on a life of its own. Y'all have shown me your true colors. Obviously, I am merely tolerated. And also obviously, I'm pissing in the wind because y'all have made up your minds that you're offended because, yanno, you've been told that you are. Even though you weren't until yesterday because nobody told you to be until then.

Yanno, what? I'm offended that in spite of "knowing" me y'all have decided that the person who rarely posts here told you to be offended is absolutely in charge of, well, everything. The alpha and omega, the arbiter, the be all and end all, the omnipotent.

So let her have the last word. Let her tell you what to think and what to think of me.

FTR, she has dogged my tracks and found ways to bait me from time to time over a period of almost 15 years. Fool me once, shame on her. Fool me twice, shame on me. She baited me again, and I allowed it to happen. Duh. I didn't learn.

Everybody's angry and frustrated and feeling hateful for whatever reason...their lives? their own personal demons? the political climate? their finances? the pandemic? anything at all...and gosh, here I am snapping at her bait and a sitting duck for everybody to unload on. Because she said so.

Have at it while she sits and gloats "gotcha" once again. No. She's not going to run me off. No. I'm not going to continue posting on a thread where I've become a pariah because she decreed it. And I'm not going spend another day crying because people I thought were friends who'd defend me, decided that a version of a whispering campaign was more important to them than a long-time friend.

One more thing. One more. This morning I blocked her. Guess what? She's no longer blocked. Guess what else? My ability to try to block again her has been disabled. I can only either message her or send her a gift. Amazing, isn't it? Reckon how the heck that happened?

chiver said to start another thread if you want to talk about this.

[laterbloomer]

I suggest the thread be called "A Collection of Miss Rigby's tantrums when being called out on a racist comment"

For the record, I'm kinda proud that I've been calling out racism for 15 years. I didn't realise it had been that long.

[lurkyloo]

Thank you chiver.

I am so deeply sad about all this.  

I will miss missrigby.

I can’t interpret what she said in a way that is not racist.  I am disappointed in her for saying it, and also for lashing out rather than taking a minute to consider whether she was in the wrong.

I am disappointed at the number of people that want to sweep it under the rug and scold those who are pointing out that this is not actually acceptable and that we are creating a „safe space“ at the expense of those who have been marginalized for centuries.

Not happy with myself for not advocating better either.  I found the remark offensive before I saw anyone calling it out, but waited for others to point out it wasn’t okay.  I don’t think anyone wins this one.

[chiver78]

Oct 4, 2021 20:56:30 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

I suggest the thread be called "A Collection of Miss Rigby's tantrums when being called out on a racist comment"

For the record, I'm kinda proud that I've been calling out racism for 15 years. I didn't realise it had been that long.

one last thing before I check out. this particular thing struck a nerve with me.  are you referring to your track record of putting words in others' mouths? because I very clearly remember a post of mine that you latched onto in the Presidential primary debate process - where I said I didn't like Kamala Harris, but couldn't put my finger on why. you latched onto that for a few days, trying to twist my words, and basically derailing whatever thread it was in. you called me a few different things along the way, including a racist, if in not so many words. you do seem to find a target and just go with it til you beat them down. why is that? 

FWIW, I'm not arguing for or against whatever missrigby said/relayed/whatever. this comment is specifically about MY POST from awhile back, and how Later reacted to it. 

ETA: and now I'm out. sleep well, kids. I'm logging out now. 

[Lizard Queen]

Oct 4, 2021 20:56:30 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

I suggest the thread be called "A Collection of Miss Rigby's tantrums when being called out on a racist comment"

For the record, I'm kinda proud that I've been calling out racism for 15 years. I didn't realise it had been that long.

That's really awful, and a personal attack.