I didn't mean to be racist, I'm just an idiot

[Deleted]

Story time..... and it’s a true story.

Last week, my 27yo son left my house at about 8pm, to make the very long drive back to where he currently lives. He prefers driving at night, I hate it. Since he was making the trek alone, except for his little bitty dog, being the worrying kind of Momma that I am, I told him a thousand times “call me if you get sleepy. I don’t care what time it is, just call me”. 

So, my phone rings sometime after 2am. I see it’s DS, and I’m getting out of bed as I answer, so I don’t wake Mister. I’m thinking DS is calling because he’s sleepy and I’m going to talk and keep him company.

DS, says “Momma, I’m somewhere in Texas and the police pulled me over for speeding. They’re searching my car right now”. My heart drops, and all I feel is love for my son, and fucking fear. I go back in the bedroom to put some clothes on, because now I’m gonna have to go out to the garage, because I’m scared and need a smoke.

Police brutality and murder of minorities has always been a thing, but now we also have the fool that killed George Floyd on trial, and I don’t know if that’s just making the crazies even crazier. So yeah, I’m REALLY scared.

I get to the garage and think “I need to record this, in case something crazy happens”. I ask DS how can I record the call. He doesn’t know and I don’t know. I don’t think either one of us could really think straight at the time. But I can think well enough to figure out that if I put the call on speaker, I can record it using the voice memo on my IPad. So, back to the bedroom to get my IPad.

DS says, “I hope they don’t plant anything in my car, like drugs. Momma, I don’t do drugs. You hear me?” Yes son, I hear you, now hush! Just stop talking. Imma stay on the phone “.

Then he asks if I can hear the coyotes. Yes, I can clearly hear them nipping or whatever. DS says it’s so dark, he can’t see where they are. He has a tiny dog that thinks he’s a huge dog, and I can hear him whining (I’ve heard him growl and bark, but never whine), so between that and how clearly I can hear the coyotes, I assume they aren’t very far away.

My son had been here a couple months this time, and was taking back stuff he’d left here the last time he came. His trunk was full, and the backseat of his car was full. And the police were going through all of it.

So, after what felt like forever, I finally hear someone tell him that he was going to his car to write the ticket, and for DS to stay put. A few minutes later, I hear him telling DS how to call and handle it without having to come back. All I could think was “Thank you Jesus!” but I still stayed on the phone with him until after he’d driven off.

I thank GOD that the police that night weren’t evil or the murdering kind. I thank GOD, that a simple traffic stop didn’t end with my child being killed for no reason, as has happened so many other times.

Now, is it reasonable for me to feel that kind of fear just because my son was pulled over for speeding? In America, unfortunately, the answer is yes. It’s the same fear a lot of Black people have for their loved ones, and for themselves. Why can’t MY child and MY grandchildren have to only worry about getting a speeding ticket that causes their insurance rates to increase in a situation like this, instead of worrying that they might be harmed or killed even if they comply? Somebody, please tell me why. I’m crying real tears while I type. Because I don’t understand, and I’m fucking sick of this shit.

We aren’t really free yet.

[TheOtherMe]

So in yesterday's murder by a cop, the officer thought a taser was what was used to shoot the man, but it was a gun.  If a police officer doesn't know the difference between a taser and their gun, they are incompetent and need to be fired, but the police chief says it was an accident.

The victim was pulled over for a traffic violation.  The outstanding warrant was a mailed warrant.  Who knows if he received it.  

This is unconscionable.

Yes, police have family and friends but there are way too many incidents in this country of blacks getting pulled over for a burned out tail light and ending up dead.  

[TheOtherMe]

Apr 12, 2021 15:01:48 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Story time..... and it’s a true story.

Last week, my 27yo son left my house at about 8pm, to make the very long drive back to where he currently lives. He prefers driving at night, I hate it. Since he was making the trek alone, except for his little bitty dog, being the worrying kind of Momma that I am, I told him a thousand times “call me if you get sleepy. I don’t care what time it is, just call me”. 

So, my phone rings sometime after 2am. I see it’s DS, and I’m getting out of bed as I answer, so I don’t wake Mister. I’m thinking DS is calling because he’s sleepy and I’m going to talk and keep him company.

DS, says “Momma, I’m somewhere in Texas and the police pulled me over for speeding. They’re searching my car right now”. My heart drops, and all I feel is love for my son, and fucking fear. I go back in the bedroom to put some clothes on, because now I’m gonna have to go out to the garage, because I’m scared and need a smoke.

Police brutality and murder of minorities has always been a thing, but now we also have the fool that killed George Floyd on trial, and I don’t know if that’s just making the crazies even crazier. So yeah, I’m REALLY scared.

I get to the garage and think “I need to record this, in case something crazy happens”. I ask DS how can I record the call. He doesn’t know and I don’t know. I don’t think either one of us could really think straight at the time. But I can think well enough to figure out that if I put the call on speaker, I can record it using the voice memo on my IPad. So, back to the bedroom to get my IPad.

DS says, “I hope they don’t plant anything in my car, like drugs. Momma, I don’t do drugs. You hear me?” Yes son, I hear you, now hush! Just stop talking. Imma stay on the phone “.

Then he asks if I can hear the coyotes. Yes, I can clearly hear them nipping or whatever. DS says it’s so dark, he can’t see where they are. He has a tiny dog that thinks he’s a huge dog, and I can hear him whining (I’ve heard him growl and bark, but never whine), so between that and how clearly I can hear the coyotes, I assume they aren’t very far away.

My son had been here a couple months this time, and was taking back stuff he’d left here the last time he came. His trunk was full, and the backseat of his car was full. And the police were going through all of it.

So, after what felt like forever, I finally hear someone tell him that he was going to his car to write the ticket, and for DS to stay put. A few minutes later, I hear him telling DS how to call and handle it without having to come back. All I could think was “Thank you Jesus!” but I still stayed on the phone with him until after he’d driven off.

I thank GOD that the police that night weren’t evil or the murdering kind. I thank GOD, that a simple traffic stop didn’t end with my child being killed for no reason, as has happened so many other times.

Now, is it reasonable for me to feel that kind of fear just because my son was pulled over for speeding? In America, unfortunately, the answer is yes. It’s the same fear a lot of Black people have for their loved ones, and for themselves. Why can’t MY child and MY grandchildren have to only worry about getting a speeding ticket that causes their insurance rates to increase in a situation like this, instead of worrying that they might be harmed or killed even if they comply? Somebody, please tell me why. I’m crying real tears while I type. Because I don’t understand, and I’m fucking sick of this shit.

We aren’t really free yet.

It should not be like this.  I'm sorry your son or any black man is going through this as is happening today and will happen tomorrow.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Apr 12, 2021 15:01:39 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

Well the system is flawed ... It must be, or George Floyed wouldn't be dead.

....and someone else has been shot tonight..... by apparently using a gun instead of a taser.

Why does this keep happening? ... and what can be done?

 And there's that Whataboutism...

No its attempt to present a fuller picture.
Its not an either/or..... the two are related.

Well for starters the apparently offensive act of the public whipping out their cells phones and sharing it.  Cops can't hide behind the badge when there are others to expose their behavior.  Maybe instead of being offended they should be asking themselves if what they plan to do is something they want going viral?

People don't know it happens and don't acknowledge it unless it's in their face.  I will fully admit I fell for the "resisting arrest" troupe when I was younger and cell phones weren't as ubiqutious as they are now because I was taught that you always trust the cops.   Now I know differently.   This exact situation happened in Omaha pretty recently, the guy wasn't even going to be put on trial until witnesses came forward and starting sharing their recordings on social media.   That is insane.  If it had been the reverse the black guy would have been cuffed and prosecuted faster than you can blink.

You can't turn away, you can't be safe in your little white bubble, you have to be uncomfortable.   Being uncomfortable affects change.  

[billisonboard]

Apr 12, 2021 15:04:05 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

So in yesterday's murder by a cop, the officer thought a taser was what was used to shoot the man, but it was a gun.  If a police officer doesn't know the difference between a taser and their gun, they are incompetent and need to be fired, but the police chief says it was an accident.

The victim was pulled over for a traffic violation.  The outstanding warrant was a mailed warrant.  Who knows if he received it.  

This is unconscionable.

Yes, police have family and friends but there are way too many incidents in this country of blacks getting pulled over for a burned out tail light and ending up dead.  

And police officers, like military personnel, have chosen to serve with the knowledge that they could be killed.

[swamp]

Apr 12, 2021 15:01:48 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Story time..... and it’s a true story.

Last week, my 27yo son left my house at about 8pm, to make the very long drive back to where he currently lives. He prefers driving at night, I hate it. Since he was making the trek alone, except for his little bitty dog, being the worrying kind of Momma that I am, I told him a thousand times “call me if you get sleepy. I don’t care what time it is, just call me”. 

So, my phone rings sometime after 2am. I see it’s DS, and I’m getting out of bed as I answer, so I don’t wake Mister. I’m thinking DS is calling because he’s sleepy and I’m going to talk and keep him company.

DS, says “Momma, I’m somewhere in Texas and the police pulled me over for speeding. They’re searching my car right now”. My heart drops, and all I feel is love for my son, and fucking fear. I go back in the bedroom to put some clothes on, because now I’m gonna have to go out to the garage, because I’m scared and need a smoke.

Police brutality and murder of minorities has always been a thing, but now we also have the fool that killed George Floyd on trial, and I don’t know if that’s just making the crazies even crazier. So yeah, I’m REALLY scared.

I get to the garage and think “I need to record this, in case something crazy happens”. I ask DS how can I record the call. He doesn’t know and I don’t know. I don’t think either one of us could really think straight at the time. But I can think well enough to figure out that if I put the call on speaker, I can record it using the voice memo on my IPad. So, back to the bedroom to get my IPad.

DS says, “I hope they don’t plant anything in my car, like drugs. Momma, I don’t do drugs. You hear me?” Yes son, I hear you, now hush! Just stop talking. Imma stay on the phone “.

Then he asks if I can hear the coyotes. Yes, I can clearly hear them nipping or whatever. DS says it’s so dark, he can’t see where they are. He has a tiny dog that thinks he’s a huge dog, and I can hear him whining (I’ve heard him growl and bark, but never whine), so between that and how clearly I can hear the coyotes, I assume they aren’t very far away.

My son had been here a couple months this time, and was taking back stuff he’d left here the last time he came. His trunk was full, and the backseat of his car was full. And the police were going through all of it.

So, after what felt like forever, I finally hear someone tell him that he was going to his car to write the ticket, and for DS to stay put. A few minutes later, I hear him telling DS how to call and handle it without having to come back. All I could think was “Thank you Jesus!” but I still stayed on the phone with him until after he’d driven off.

I thank GOD that the police that night weren’t evil or the murdering kind. I thank GOD, that a simple traffic stop didn’t end with my child being killed for no reason, as has happened so many other times.

Now, is it reasonable for me to feel that kind of fear just because my son was pulled over for speeding? In America, unfortunately, the answer is yes. It’s the same fear a lot of Black people have for their loved ones, and for themselves. Why can’t MY child and MY grandchildren have to only worry about getting a speeding ticket that causes their insurance rates to increase in a situation like this, instead of worrying that they might be harmed or killed even if they comply? Somebody, please tell me why. I’m crying real tears while I type. Because I don’t understand, and I’m fucking sick of this shit.

We aren’t really free yet.

I’m so sorry.

[nidena]

Apr 12, 2021 14:25:33 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

Apr 12, 2021 13:23:33 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

And isn’t that in itself racist?

So I'm a racist again am I...... FFS... You guys are something else 

Actually, I'm thinking of relatives and friends who have to see their dead loved one plastered all over social media...... before they even know they have died.
Would you like that?
If you live in a society where everything is filmed.... it may well become the norm.
We have CCTV and Body Cams.

BTW Just because I'm putting a different perspective on a conversation..... doesn't make me stupid or racist.
Enough with the spitefulness.

Rather than being offended that it was implied that you're racist, maybe look at what you've said or done that would cause others to think that.  BTW, nobody said YOU were a racist.  They said THE BEHAVIOR was racist.  Racist behavior is a spectrum.  It's not just the hood-wearing, lynch-mob persona.

[chiver78]

Apr 12, 2021 15:01:48 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Story time..... and it’s a true story.

Last week, my 27yo son left my house at about 8pm, to make the very long drive back to where he currently lives. He prefers driving at night, I hate it. Since he was making the trek alone, except for his little bitty dog, being the worrying kind of Momma that I am, I told him a thousand times “call me if you get sleepy. I don’t care what time it is, just call me”. 

So, my phone rings sometime after 2am. I see it’s DS, and I’m getting out of bed as I answer, so I don’t wake Mister. I’m thinking DS is calling because he’s sleepy and I’m going to talk and keep him company.

DS, says “Momma, I’m somewhere in Texas and the police pulled me over for speeding. They’re searching my car right now”. My heart drops, and all I feel is love for my son, and fucking fear. I go back in the bedroom to put some clothes on, because now I’m gonna have to go out to the garage, because I’m scared and need a smoke.

Police brutality and murder of minorities has always been a thing, but now we also have the fool that killed George Floyd on trial, and I don’t know if that’s just making the crazies even crazier. So yeah, I’m REALLY scared.

I get to the garage and think “I need to record this, in case something crazy happens”. I ask DS how can I record the call. He doesn’t know and I don’t know. I don’t think either one of us could really think straight at the time. But I can think well enough to figure out that if I put the call on speaker, I can record it using the voice memo on my IPad. So, back to the bedroom to get my IPad.

DS says, “I hope they don’t plant anything in my car, like drugs. Momma, I don’t do drugs. You hear me?” Yes son, I hear you, now hush! Just stop talking. Imma stay on the phone “.

Then he asks if I can hear the coyotes. Yes, I can clearly hear them nipping or whatever. DS says it’s so dark, he can’t see where they are. He has a tiny dog that thinks he’s a huge dog, and I can hear him whining (I’ve heard him growl and bark, but never whine), so between that and how clearly I can hear the coyotes, I assume they aren’t very far away.

My son had been here a couple months this time, and was taking back stuff he’d left here the last time he came. His trunk was full, and the backseat of his car was full. And the police were going through all of it.

So, after what felt like forever, I finally hear someone tell him that he was going to his car to write the ticket, and for DS to stay put. A few minutes later, I hear him telling DS how to call and handle it without having to come back. All I could think was “Thank you Jesus!” but I still stayed on the phone with him until after he’d driven off.

I thank GOD that the police that night weren’t evil or the murdering kind. I thank GOD, that a simple traffic stop didn’t end with my child being killed for no reason, as has happened so many other times.

Now, is it reasonable for me to feel that kind of fear just because my son was pulled over for speeding? In America, unfortunately, the answer is yes. It’s the same fear a lot of Black people have for their loved ones, and for themselves. Why can’t MY child and MY grandchildren have to only worry about getting a speeding ticket that causes their insurance rates to increase in a situation like this, instead of worrying that they might be harmed or killed even if they comply? Somebody, please tell me why. I’m crying real tears while I type. Because I don’t understand, and I’m fucking sick of this shit.

We aren’t really free yet.

I have no words. 

[Spellbound454]

You have a School shooting going on.

[raeoflyte]

Apr 12, 2021 15:01:48 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Story time..... and it’s a true story.

Last week, my 27yo son left my house at about 8pm, to make the very long drive back to where he currently lives. He prefers driving at night, I hate it. Since he was making the trek alone, except for his little bitty dog, being the worrying kind of Momma that I am, I told him a thousand times “call me if you get sleepy. I don’t care what time it is, just call me”. 

So, my phone rings sometime after 2am. I see it’s DS, and I’m getting out of bed as I answer, so I don’t wake Mister. I’m thinking DS is calling because he’s sleepy and I’m going to talk and keep him company.

DS, says “Momma, I’m somewhere in Texas and the police pulled me over for speeding. They’re searching my car right now”. My heart drops, and all I feel is love for my son, and fucking fear. I go back in the bedroom to put some clothes on, because now I’m gonna have to go out to the garage, because I’m scared and need a smoke.

Police brutality and murder of minorities has always been a thing, but now we also have the fool that killed George Floyd on trial, and I don’t know if that’s just making the crazies even crazier. So yeah, I’m REALLY scared.

I get to the garage and think “I need to record this, in case something crazy happens”. I ask DS how can I record the call. He doesn’t know and I don’t know. I don’t think either one of us could really think straight at the time. But I can think well enough to figure out that if I put the call on speaker, I can record it using the voice memo on my IPad. So, back to the bedroom to get my IPad.

DS says, “I hope they don’t plant anything in my car, like drugs. Momma, I don’t do drugs. You hear me?” Yes son, I hear you, now hush! Just stop talking. Imma stay on the phone “.

Then he asks if I can hear the coyotes. Yes, I can clearly hear them nipping or whatever. DS says it’s so dark, he can’t see where they are. He has a tiny dog that thinks he’s a huge dog, and I can hear him whining (I’ve heard him growl and bark, but never whine), so between that and how clearly I can hear the coyotes, I assume they aren’t very far away.

My son had been here a couple months this time, and was taking back stuff he’d left here the last time he came. His trunk was full, and the backseat of his car was full. And the police were going through all of it.

So, after what felt like forever, I finally hear someone tell him that he was going to his car to write the ticket, and for DS to stay put. A few minutes later, I hear him telling DS how to call and handle it without having to come back. All I could think was “Thank you Jesus!” but I still stayed on the phone with him until after he’d driven off.

I thank GOD that the police that night weren’t evil or the murdering kind. I thank GOD, that a simple traffic stop didn’t end with my child being killed for no reason, as has happened so many other times.

Now, is it reasonable for me to feel that kind of fear just because my son was pulled over for speeding? In America, unfortunately, the answer is yes. It’s the same fear a lot of Black people have for their loved ones, and for themselves. Why can’t MY child and MY grandchildren have to only worry about getting a speeding ticket that causes their insurance rates to increase in a situation like this, instead of worrying that they might be harmed or killed even if they comply? Somebody, please tell me why. I’m crying real tears while I type. Because I don’t understand, and I’m fucking sick of this shit.

We aren’t really free yet.

Pink - I'm so sorry. I truly can't imagine police searching my car.

I drove what we called the sniper van for a few years and I was pulled over more often in that vehicle, but always dismissed when they got to the window and could see me.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

On the topic of "Whataboutism" what got me out of that habit was stopping to think about how I feel as a woman when people, usually men, try to steer the conversation towards themselves with a "yeah but"

Excuse me I have as much right to talk about women's issues as you do about yourself WITHOUT having to pander to your ego.  It's a way to dismiss and demean me by pointing out once again that you are the most important person in the room as a man.

::lightbulb::.  I realized I engage in it as a white straight person so I started making an effort to not do that to others.

It's all interconnected.  When the status quo is White Straight (usually middle/upper class) man it's impossible to even consider the conversation to not be about you or expecting it to include you.  That's not having a discussion that's your privilege showing.   A discussion can only happen after you've stopped, shut up and listened to those who speak from a place you know nothing about.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Apr 12, 2021 15:27:05 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

You have a School shooting going on.

Since we are banned from doing any kind of research on it hazarding a guess my hypothesis would be that our obsessive gun culture combined with the exisitensial crisis white men in particular have been experiencing over the last several decades have made for a really toxic and deadly combination.

[Spellbound454]

  A discussion can only happen after you've stopped, shut up and listened to those who speak from a place you know nothing about.

....and a solution can only be found when you have made an analysis of all the considerations and worked it through.

The most real post I've seen so far is from Pink Cashmere.
The rest is just floundering about... wondering if its relevant or not.

[raeoflyte]

Apr 12, 2021 14:46:39 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

 It would suck but knowing what I know now about how fundementally flawed our system is and how it will do anything to protect itself if my loved one died because of social injustice and it was caught on camera I would hope that it inspires others to hold society accountable for their actions. Instead of my loved one being another statistic swept into the filing cabinet their death could inspire change.



I can't speak for others thoughts and feelings. Maybe we can get to a day where the police hold themselves accountable and you won't need people with their cell phones out. That day is a long ways away as evidenced by recent events.

Ok....so you need to iron out the flaws in the system, so that people can have confidence in the Police... that they won't go overboard.

Also lets not forget that Policing is a dangerous occupation.... from wiki

"2020, The Officer Down Memorial Page reports 343 deaths in the line of duty.[26] The leading cause of death for 2020 is COVID-19 at 222 deaths followed by gunfire at 45 deaths. The state with the largest amount of line of duty deaths is Texas with 73 followed by Georgia with 19. The U.S. Government had 25 line of duty deaths."

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_law_enforcement_officers_killed_in_the_line_of_duty_in_the_United_States

They have got families and friends as well

So the public and the Police need protecting with something that can show accountability.

We police white people with significantly less force, so it isn't about being dangerous, its about racism.

[Spellbound454]

 Since we are banned from doing any kind of research on it hazarding a guess my hypothesis would be that our obsessive gun culture combined with the exisitensial crisis white men in particular have been experiencing over the last several decades have made for a really toxic and deadly combination.

Who has banned you?
It was just on the news, is all. I thought you would want to know.

 We police white people with significantly less force, so it isn't about being dangerous, its about racism.

Back to Top

Do you have Black police officers who could inspire more confidence? Just a thought....Which I expect someone has has already thought of.

[finnime]

I am truly sorry, @pinkcshmere. I teared up thinking of my 26yo DS.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Apr 12, 2021 15:36:00 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

 Since we are banned from doing any kind of research on it hazarding a guess my hypothesis would be that our obsessive gun culture combined with the exisitensial crisis white men in particular have been experiencing over the last several decades have made for a really toxic and deadly combination.

Who has banned you?
It was just on the news, is all. I thought you would want to know.

The CDC is not allowed to do gun violence research as a public health matter.   The NRA lobby hobbled them.  Federal funding cannot be used for gun research.

Without research into the problem there is no way to solve that particular problem.  There is probably private research going on but it doesn't appear to have made it into the mainstream at this time.

[Lizard Queen]

Apr 12, 2021 15:01:39 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

Well the system is flawed ... It must be, or George Floyed wouldn't be dead.

....and someone else has been shot tonight..... by apparently using a gun instead of a taser.

Why does this keep happening? ... and what can be done?

 And there's that Whataboutism...

No its attempt to present a fuller picture.
Its not an either/or..... the two are related.

Police all over this country are trained to shoot first whenever there is any feeling of danger. Combine that with racial bias, and there is disparate impact for minorities. Our police also often shoot people (of all colors) going through mental breakdowns, hence the movement towards funding social workers and "defunding the police".
What can and should be changed is this training first and foremost, combined with the fact that police tend to get off scot free for shooting and killing non-violent suspects.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Apr 12, 2021 15:44:43 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Apr 12, 2021 15:01:39 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

Well the system is flawed ... It must be, or George Floyed wouldn't be dead.

....and someone else has been shot tonight..... by apparently using a gun instead of a taser.

Why does this keep happening? ... and what can be done?

No its attempt to present a fuller picture.
Its not an either/or..... the two are related.

Police all over this country are trained to shoot first whenever there is any feeling of danger. Combine that with racial bias, and there is disparate impact for minorities. Our police also often shoot people (of all colors) going through mental breakdowns, hence the movement towards funding social workers and "defunding the police".
What can and should be changed is this training first and foremost, combined with the fact that police tend to get off scot free for shooting and killing non-violent suspects.

Reading how to be an Anti-Racist he argued the most effective way to make change is laws first then everyone follows along.  He pointed to the surge in support for gay marriage after the law was changed, all those people didn't suddenly see the light.  He argued instead a boogey man was removed and once people saw the world didn't end all but a rather vocal minority stopped bitching.

I would argue the same here.  There is no incentive for police forces to change their training because as it stands they still get away with A LOT.  We need the the laws changed so police forces have no choice but to follow.   Once training methods stop involving profiling and assuming guilt until proven innocent the less incentive there is to see every black person/poor person/mentally ill as a boogey man.

ETA: Before anyone says it there are really bad people out there yes.  The problem is police training is used to treat EVERYONE like that.  Profiling has been shown to only work in very narrow specific situations.  It should never have been implemented as a blanket solution to crime.

[nidena]

Apr 12, 2021 15:54:47 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Apr 12, 2021 15:44:43 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Police all over this country are trained to shoot first whenever there is any feeling of danger. Combine that with racial bias, and there is disparate impact for minorities. Our police also often shoot people (of all colors) going through mental breakdowns, hence the movement towards funding social workers and "defunding the police".
What can and should be changed is this training first and foremost, combined with the fact that police tend to get off scot free for shooting and killing non-violent suspects.

Reading how to be an Anti-Racist he argued the most effective way to make change is laws first then everyone follows along.  He pointed to the surge in support for gay marriage after the law was changed, all those people didn't suddenly see the light.  He argued instead a boogey man was removed and once people saw the world didn't end all but a rather vocal minority stopped bitching.

I would argue the same here.  There is no incentive for police forces to change their training because as it stands they still get away with A LOT.  We need the the laws changed so police forces have no choice but to follow.   Once training methods stop involving profiling and assuming guilt until proven innocent the less incentive there is to see every black person/poor person/mentally ill as a boogey man.

ETA: Before anyone says it there are really bad people out there yes.  The problem is police training is used to treat EVERYONE like that.  Profiling has been shown to only work in very narrow specific situations.  It should never have been implemented as a blanket solution to crime.

Did you ever read Chokehold?  The statistics were amazing.  Just as, pretty much every Black person has a DWB or WWB story, the men in NYC ALL had Stop and Frisk stories.  When they got rid of the Stop and Frisk law, fewer Black men got arrested for stupid shit.

[jerseygirl]

Pink I’m so sad that you and your son had such a frightening experience.

[Deleted]

Apr 12, 2021 15:01:48 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Story time..... and it’s a true story.

Last week, my 27yo son left my house at about 8pm, to make the very long drive back to where he currently lives. He prefers driving at night, I hate it. Since he was making the trek alone, except for his little bitty dog, being the worrying kind of Momma that I am, I told him a thousand times “call me if you get sleepy. I don’t care what time it is, just call me”. 

So, my phone rings sometime after 2am. I see it’s DS, and I’m getting out of bed as I answer, so I don’t wake Mister. I’m thinking DS is calling because he’s sleepy and I’m going to talk and keep him company.

DS, says “Momma, I’m somewhere in Texas and the police pulled me over for speeding. They’re searching my car right now”. My heart drops, and all I feel is love for my son, and fucking fear. I go back in the bedroom to put some clothes on, because now I’m gonna have to go out to the garage, because I’m scared and need a smoke.

Police brutality and murder of minorities has always been a thing, but now we also have the fool that killed George Floyd on trial, and I don’t know if that’s just making the crazies even crazier. So yeah, I’m REALLY scared.

I get to the garage and think “I need to record this, in case something crazy happens”. I ask DS how can I record the call. He doesn’t know and I don’t know. I don’t think either one of us could really think straight at the time. But I can think well enough to figure out that if I put the call on speaker, I can record it using the voice memo on my IPad. So, back to the bedroom to get my IPad.

DS says, “I hope they don’t plant anything in my car, like drugs. Momma, I don’t do drugs. You hear me?” Yes son, I hear you, now hush! Just stop talking. Imma stay on the phone “.

Then he asks if I can hear the coyotes. Yes, I can clearly hear them nipping or whatever. DS says it’s so dark, he can’t see where they are. He has a tiny dog that thinks he’s a huge dog, and I can hear him whining (I’ve heard him growl and bark, but never whine), so between that and how clearly I can hear the coyotes, I assume they aren’t very far away.

My son had been here a couple months this time, and was taking back stuff he’d left here the last time he came. His trunk was full, and the backseat of his car was full. And the police were going through all of it.

So, after what felt like forever, I finally hear someone tell him that he was going to his car to write the ticket, and for DS to stay put. A few minutes later, I hear him telling DS how to call and handle it without having to come back. All I could think was “Thank you Jesus!” but I still stayed on the phone with him until after he’d driven off.

I thank GOD that the police that night weren’t evil or the murdering kind. I thank GOD, that a simple traffic stop didn’t end with my child being killed for no reason, as has happened so many other times.

Now, is it reasonable for me to feel that kind of fear just because my son was pulled over for speeding? In America, unfortunately, the answer is yes. It’s the same fear a lot of Black people have for their loved ones, and for themselves. Why can’t MY child and MY grandchildren have to only worry about getting a speeding ticket that causes their insurance rates to increase in a situation like this, instead of worrying that they might be harmed or killed even if they comply? Somebody, please tell me why. I’m crying real tears while I type. Because I don’t understand, and I’m fucking sick of this shit.

We aren’t really free yet.

I soooo wish I could tell you NO, THIS IS NOT TRUE, IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, but I don't lie.  This does happen, it happens in Texas, it happens all across our country.  I'm so glad it went the right way for your son, I'm so sorry I can't guarantee that to the next person pulled over, black or white.  

[Deleted]

Apr 12, 2021 15:27:05 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

You have a School shooting going on.

Yes we do, another one 

[Opti]

Apr 12, 2021 15:01:48 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Story time..... and it’s a true story.

Last week, my 27yo son left my house at about 8pm, to make the very long drive back to where he currently lives. He prefers driving at night, I hate it. Since he was making the trek alone, except for his little bitty dog, being the worrying kind of Momma that I am, I told him a thousand times “call me if you get sleepy. I don’t care what time it is, just call me”. 

So, my phone rings sometime after 2am. I see it’s DS, and I’m getting out of bed as I answer, so I don’t wake Mister. I’m thinking DS is calling because he’s sleepy and I’m going to talk and keep him company.

DS, says “Momma, I’m somewhere in Texas and the police pulled me over for speeding. They’re searching my car right now”. My heart drops, and all I feel is love for my son, and fucking fear. I go back in the bedroom to put some clothes on, because now I’m gonna have to go out to the garage, because I’m scared and need a smoke.

Police brutality and murder of minorities has always been a thing, but now we also have the fool that killed George Floyd on trial, and I don’t know if that’s just making the crazies even crazier. So yeah, I’m REALLY scared.

I get to the garage and think “I need to record this, in case something crazy happens”. I ask DS how can I record the call. He doesn’t know and I don’t know. I don’t think either one of us could really think straight at the time. But I can think well enough to figure out that if I put the call on speaker, I can record it using the voice memo on my IPad. So, back to the bedroom to get my IPad.

DS says, “I hope they don’t plant anything in my car, like drugs. Momma, I don’t do drugs. You hear me?” Yes son, I hear you, now hush! Just stop talking. Imma stay on the phone “.

Then he asks if I can hear the coyotes. Yes, I can clearly hear them nipping or whatever. DS says it’s so dark, he can’t see where they are. He has a tiny dog that thinks he’s a huge dog, and I can hear him whining (I’ve heard him growl and bark, but never whine), so between that and how clearly I can hear the coyotes, I assume they aren’t very far away.

My son had been here a couple months this time, and was taking back stuff he’d left here the last time he came. His trunk was full, and the backseat of his car was full. And the police were going through all of it.

So, after what felt like forever, I finally hear someone tell him that he was going to his car to write the ticket, and for DS to stay put. A few minutes later, I hear him telling DS how to call and handle it without having to come back. All I could think was “Thank you Jesus!” but I still stayed on the phone with him until after he’d driven off.

I thank GOD that the police that night weren’t evil or the murdering kind. I thank GOD, that a simple traffic stop didn’t end with my child being killed for no reason, as has happened so many other times.

Now, is it reasonable for me to feel that kind of fear just because my son was pulled over for speeding? In America, unfortunately, the answer is yes. It’s the same fear a lot of Black people have for their loved ones, and for themselves. Why can’t MY child and MY grandchildren have to only worry about getting a speeding ticket that causes their insurance rates to increase in a situation like this, instead of worrying that they might be harmed or killed even if they comply? Somebody, please tell me why. I’m crying real tears while I type. Because I don’t understand, and I’m fucking sick of this shit.

We aren’t really free yet.

I'm so sorry this happened but I am glad you were so smart about it by staying on the line and recording it. Just being on the phone probably helped. I totally understand you being scared and I am glad this ended with him being safe. I think there are more crazies out there and it seems like some police aren't trying all that hard to reasonable. Its a very scary time, especially if you are black.

I really do hope all this horror will eventually lead to better, safer, less deadly policing. How's he doing after this experience?

[laterbloomer]

Apr 12, 2021 14:29:53 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

 I think it's the difference between gratuitous images and images that lead to justice because of mistreatment

That was the answer I was looking for.

  Sometimes, I was pretty much told to shut up,

Me too.... Perhaps we should team up. I'm not Black but I'm English, so I'm different.

The problem is that you think killing POC and "offending public decency" are equal offences. I'm fine with offending a few decencies if it saves a lot of lives.

[tallguy]

Apr 12, 2021 15:38:53 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Apr 12, 2021 15:36:00 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

Who has banned you?
It was just on the news, is all. I thought you would want to know.

The CDC is not allowed to do gun violence research as a public health matter.   The NRA lobby hobbled them.  Federal funding cannot be used for gun research.

Without research into the problem there is no way to solve that particular problem.  There is probably private research going on but it doesn't appear to have made it into the mainstream at this time.

I think that changed not too long ago.  Some sort of compromise.  The CDC would be allowed to study gun violence and firearm injury prevention, but would not be able to use federal funds to advocate for gun control.  Under the original amendment back in the '90s, the CDC was not specifically prohibited from studying gun violence, but shied away from it out of fear of penalty.  The recent compromise clarified the issue. 

[jerseygirl]

The Washington post & FBI have kept statistics on police shootings since 2015. While about 2x whites (2883 killed) compared to blacks (1496) were killed by police, the rate of blacks (36/million)to whites (15/million) based on population is about twice as high
95% male and about 50% ages 20-40
Highest rates New Mexico, Alaska and Oklahoma
About 1,000 killed per year
www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/investigations/police-shootings-database/

www.fbi.gov/services/cjis/ucr/use-of-force

[nidena]

Apr 12, 2021 22:00:19 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

The Washington post & FBI have kept statistics on police shootings since 2015. While about 2x whites (2883 killed) compared to blacks (1496) were killed by police, the rate of blacks (36/million)to whites (15/million) based on population is about twice as high
95% male and about 50% ages 20-40
Highest rates New Mexico, Alaska and Oklahoma
About 1,000 killed per year
www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/investigations/police-shootings-database/

www.fbi.gov/services/cjis/ucr/use-of-force

When I was digging into some numbers, I saw that there are just under 700,000 full time police officers and that number is higher, now, than it was 5-10 years ago; meaning there was something like 650,000 officers just three or four years ago.  4400 deaths seems quite high for such a small number.  That's one killing per ~160 officers.  

[ners]

@pinkcshmere I am sorry your son had that experience.  

[Deleted]

Apr 13, 2021 6:34:30 GMT -5 ners said:

@pinkcshmere I am sorry your son had that experience.  

Thank you. And also to the others that expressed the same.

My son is ok. He hasn’t even mentioned it anymore, not that that means he doesn’t think about it. He was definitely nervous and wary that night though.