Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 27, 2019 22:05:58 GMT -5
Or maybe I'll think of somewhere to run away to. Thanx for the hug. I needed that.
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skeeter
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Post by skeeter on Nov 27, 2019 22:08:00 GMT -5
Why so down tonight - care to share?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 27, 2019 22:30:18 GMT -5
It's a combo of a lot of stuff, I guess. Holiday time. Where's my gramma? It's Thanksgiving. I should be going to her house for dinner tomorrow (never mind she'd be 125 years old). Missing the Green Hornet, wishing I could spend Thanksgiving with my brothers and sisters, annoyed with DD, stewing about having to drive on the bypass tomorrow, wishing it was tomorrow morning so I could sit outside with my coffee, feeling all squished in my teeny, tiny hovel, not wanting to spend any of my savings (even though there's no reason not to). tRump Trauma. Stupid stuff. You know, just all the same kinds of piddly things that people get into a funk over.
If I had good sense, I'd be counting my blessings.
1. I've got a purring kitty. 2. I'm not in any danger of being hungry or homeless. 3. Not yet at the stage of having to wear elastic-waist britches or Depends. 4. In the overall scheme of things, 100 years from now none of this will make an iota of difference.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Nov 27, 2019 23:07:32 GMT -5
Hugs @missrigby. It will be one year tomorrow since my mom passed away and I have been down for the past 2 weeks.
I will be seeing my son after 4 months along with some very close friends, so hopefully I can pull myself out of feeling sorry for myself and missing my mom..
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 27, 2019 23:14:44 GMT -5
Hugs @missrigby . It will be one year tomorrow since my mom passed away and I have been down for the past 2 weeks. I will be seeing my son after 4 months along with some very close friends, so hopefully I can pull myself out of feeling sorry for myself and missing my mom.. Having family around makes things better. Or easier or something.
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stillmovingforward
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Hanging on by a thread
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Post by stillmovingforward on Nov 28, 2019 1:35:34 GMT -5
Run away thi your son's. Maybe it's time to not foot around your daughter? My mother is in your situation but on no uncertain terms would she ever allow me to treat her le that. She'd catholic nun my hands and I'm 50+!
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sesfw
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Today is the first day of the rest of my life
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Post by sesfw on Nov 28, 2019 11:19:11 GMT -5
Bad idea. There's nowhere to go.
Come to our home .......... we'll drag to DDs and you can play with babies
missrigby ........... I'm 78 so both of us have grown up in the same time-frame. We remember the years gone by, and look at how much the world has changed. I'm sadden by what I see, and wonder what kind of world our g-g-babies will grow up in.
Can't say anything without offending someone (oh darn).
I know traditionally this day is commemorating the first shared meal between the 'pilgrims and tribes', but I look at this day as focusing on the good things of me life. I've had a cancer battle that I won, young family members are healthy, older family members are getting older just like I am, in love with DH#2, have lovely memories of DH#1, remembering mince pie battles with brother .........
Has anyone been following the 'Luann' comic strip?
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Post by empress of self-improvement on Nov 28, 2019 12:05:39 GMT -5
You can have my in-law's family feud. Centered around property and a mother who isn't even dead yet. Six kids and one condo in Florida. I am so glad there was only 2 of us and my mother's most valuable property was a cat. I got her.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Nov 28, 2019 13:56:57 GMT -5
<HUGS> for Miss R. I think after both of my parents were gone, the holidays got a bit tougher, and now that DD lives far from us, that's another thing that's rough. But, still trying to be thankful for the good stuff. Like, I missed out on having to shovel a foot of wet sNOw back home.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 28, 2019 15:07:36 GMT -5
Maybe the reason I'm down in the dumps today is knowing my dad is not happy about being in a nursing home and is in the process of dying.
I'm totally out of sorts today and I don't have a good reason.
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msventoux
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Post by msventoux on Nov 28, 2019 15:19:38 GMT -5
Maybe the reason I'm down in the dumps today is knowing my dad is not happy about being in a nursing home and is in the process of dying. I'm totally out of sorts today and I don't have a good reason. That’s more than a good enough reason. The last few years haven’t been easy for you. Hugs to you, I hope you can find some peace today and during the coming weeks.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 28, 2019 15:47:05 GMT -5
Thank you.
Mom's been gone 5 1/2 years and we have watched dad slowly decline to where it because necessary for him to go to a nursing home for his safety. At the hospital, they didn't even get him out of bed.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2019 18:49:02 GMT -5
I survived. It wasn't as stressful as feared. And it was nice to spend the afternoon with DS and his husband away from the sturm und drang here. And they are good cooks.
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Nov 28, 2019 19:41:08 GMT -5
Can you move in with them? My DS1 and his friends have already called dibs on me!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2019 20:21:29 GMT -5
Um. I don't think moving in with them would work. They live in a duplex. Their half is a one-bedroom. And there ain't no way in the world. I need my own space, and so do they. I do have my own space here including a separate entrance. It's a sitting room, bedroom with a small walk-in closet, bath, kitchen, and even a little patio. It's tiny, but it's separated from DD's house by a hallway and laundry room. Like Greta Garbo, "I vant to be alone." So why am I complaining? Geez. I had this place built to my specs with room for a cat (like Hyacinth Bucket's sister's place; she had room for a pony!) Better I should be counting my blessings. There are a whole lotta folks that have no shelter at all, and I see at least a few every time I run errands. They'd probably be thrilled to live here even if they had kids who played tug-o-war for their time and attention. Hm. I just read what I wrote. Guess I'm over sulking and feeling sorry for myself. For now
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Nov 28, 2019 20:53:08 GMT -5
And so it begins. I feel like I'm in a custody battle between my DS and DD. DD refuses to forgive DS for long-ago hurts. She's a grand-champion, blue-ribbon, first-class grudge carrier. Since I live under the same roof as DD/DSIL, even though I have my own little granny flat, she feels like she should have dibs on me. Since I live under the same roof as DD/DSIL, DS feels like he should have dibs on me because DD gets to see me every day. I haven't seen DS since summer (although we talk on the phone and email often). He lives only 15 miles south of me but it's in the city and more than half the drive is on a very busy interstate bypass around the city. The 15-mile drive takes forfreakingever getting out of the burbs, onto the bypass, the rest of the way in the city so about an hour's drive. What I'm going to do is have T'Day dinner with DD and her posse because they're eating at 1. After dinner, I'm going to DS's and have T'Day dinner with him and his husband. They're eating at 4. The alternative was to go to DS's on Friday for T'Day leftovers. Friday is going to be an insane day on the roads. Rinse and repeat for Christmas. I hate this! Anybody else have immovable family object(ion)s? I am 100% on DD side for this. Will read thread and see if there is any additional info.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Nov 28, 2019 21:10:21 GMT -5
yes - well - I think you owe DD an apology here. Even if only in your heart.
These are her hurts, and hers to forgive or not. What you are wanting - for nothing more than your own pleasure and convenience - is not reasonable.
What did you do when those long-ago hurts occurred? Did you scream at DS about that like you want to scream at DD now because this holiday is not what you prefer? You may not even know the full extent of these hurts, or how they impacted your daughter. Has DS apologized or tried to make amends?
Even if so, it is her choice to cut contact.
Honestly - I'm surprised at your language here about her when you acknowledge that this started with son's actions.
And he's 15 minutes away? He could come pick you up for a visit, pay for an uber or something, but seems it is on you to drive if you want to see him? I think you need to look at this a little more clearly.
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ners
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Post by ners on Nov 28, 2019 21:12:30 GMT -5
@missrigby I am sorry your children do not get along. While I tend to think you should spend your day with your DS since you live with your DD. However I think you need to keep your DD happy.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Nov 28, 2019 21:31:37 GMT -5
When it comes to holidays, I gravitate towards my family. They are five hours away. DH's immediate family all resides within 20 minutes of our house. I see them all the time. We are at every birthday party, random dinner, etc. So when it comes to the holidays I want to spend time with them. I don't see them nearly as much as I see DH's family. DH is free to stay and celebrate with his family.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2019 22:21:27 GMT -5
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 28, 2019 23:13:08 GMT -5
Bad idea. There's nowhere to go. Come to our home .......... we'll drag to DDs and you can play with babies missrigby ........... I'm 78 so both of us have grown up in the same time-frame. We remember the years gone by, and look at how much the world has changed. I'm sadden by what I see, and wonder what kind of world our g-g-babies will grow up in. Can't say anything without offending someone (oh darn). Back in the day, people were offended by plenty. Once I suggested that women are capable of working and earning a living, and boy oh boy did shit hit the fan. I'm not big on this narrative that people are easily offended now, but they weren't 10, 20, 30, 50 years ago. That is utter bullshit. People were offended by everything in the past. Heaven forbid you mention that pantyhose are annoying, or that interracial marriage is fine, or you think your priest is creepy. OMG. Everyone is offended. Always have been. It is not new.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2019 23:23:22 GMT -5
thyme4change LOL!!! Once, about 60 years ago, I said "toilet paper" out loud in the office.* I was called into the boss's office and lectured about watching my language. Another time I mentioned garter belts and girdles and how useless they were...not in the office, but in mixed company. Counted myself lucky that I didn't get my mouth washed out with soap. *Not to worry. I was single at the time so it was okay to work until I got married.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 29, 2019 10:18:20 GMT -5
thyme4change LOL!!! Once, about 60 years ago, I said "toilet paper" out loud in the office.* I was called into the boss's office and lectured about watching my language. Another time I mentioned garter belts and girdles and how useless they were...not in the office, but in mixed company. Counted myself lucky that I didn't get my mouth washed out with soap. *Not to worry. I was single at the time so it was okay to work until I got married. I remember a lady at church saying it was 'disgusting' that a young woman said she couldn't wait to have a baby. All the other old ladies sitting with her agreed. And I was thinking that I was raised to believe that having children was the ultimate goal for women. That is what god intended. So I guess having children is beautiful, but talking about wanting them is disgusting?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 29, 2019 11:22:05 GMT -5
My grandmother is still offended by mixed race couples.
We're pretty sure my deceased grandmother threw a picture at DH the other night when we were talking to my daughter about sex ed (it flew off the shelf and happened to be a picture of her). She was deeply offended by the idea girls should know anything about sex other than it's a sin.
Getting real tired of being labeled sensitive when my grandma gets offended and climbs on her racist/homophobic soap box and I call her out on her bullshit.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2019 11:37:01 GMT -5
Your deceased grandmother obviously packs a mighty wallop. Be grateful y'all weren't at the table so that she could pitch the gravy at him
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2019 14:38:35 GMT -5
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skeeter
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Post by skeeter on Dec 1, 2019 18:51:04 GMT -5
FWIW, I for one hope you never leave this board. Your life experiences, wisdom, humor and wit are an asset here and enjoyed immensely. You shared a personal experience and started a thoughtful and serious thread for others to share their own family problems/situations and were callously and needlessly shot in the back for it. Please consider the source and keep on doing what you have been doing for the rest of us
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msventoux
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Post by msventoux on Dec 1, 2019 18:58:06 GMT -5
I agree, many people were very happy when you reappeared and were glad to know you were well and ready to join in here again. Many people would be sad to see you leave again.
I don’t recall if I have anyone blocked on here, but that is a valuable resource on some of the Facebook groups I am in. It’s unfortunate that sometimes it is necessary, but it helps keep my blood pressure in check. 😊
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Dec 1, 2019 19:15:29 GMT -5
The problem with blocking on forums like this is that people quote the person you don't want to see and it shows up in the quote.
Please don't leave @missrigby
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2019 19:17:13 GMT -5
Gosh, guys. I had no idea anybody even gave a rat's rear. How kind of you to make me feel like one of the family! I thought I remembered that there was a way to block a poster, but wasn't it in the square where our avatars show? Can we still do that? If we can, tell me how, because I even went to the How To section on the home page and didn't find anything. Please keep in mind that I am somewhat challenged in the technical world, so the instructions should probably start out "Face the screen. With left hand..."
Another thing. Not to worry. I'm not going anywhere until I, as a mortician would say, assume room temperature.
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