My dad

[TheOtherMe]

I actually have only heard from DNephew1 since dad got really bad.  DNephew3 has not responded to text messages.

Have not heard from sister since the discussion about letting me know if she is writing checks.

Feeling totally alone except for the people here.

[Deleted]

Dec 15, 2019 18:56:51 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Have not heard from sister since the discussion about letting me know if she is writing checks.

Feeling totally alone except for the people here.

I understand about feeling totally alone. We can be your family! (Hey, Sis, yanno that green sweater? Could I borrow it? I promise to take good care of it. And the grey slacks. They look good together. Could I borrow those, too?)

[nikiz628]

Dec 15, 2019 18:56:51 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I actually have only heard from DNephew1 since dad got really bad.  DNephew3 has not responded to text messages.

Have not heard from sister since the discussion about letting me know if she is writing checks.

Feeling totally alone except for the people here.

You will NEVER be alone here.   

[TheOtherMe]

Wandered why I haven't received any mail that has been forwarded to me from dad's old address.  Called Post Office.  They have no record of the change of address I did at the counter on November 27.

They did let me do it on the phone and the mail that is just sitting there will be mailed to me today.  Change of address has to be entered in the system and won't be effective until about a week.  

Why is nothing easy?  I did the change of address with a clerk at the counter of the old post office.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Dec 15, 2019 19:12:22 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

Dec 15, 2019 18:56:51 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Have not heard from sister since the discussion about letting me know if she is writing checks.

Feeling totally alone except for the people here.

I understand about feeling totally alone. We can be your family! (Hey, Sis, yanno that green sweater? Could I borrow it? I promise to take good care of it. And the grey slacks. They look good together. Could I borrow those, too?)

And those amazing gray ankles boots too!

[Blonde Granny]

Dec 16, 2019 10:01:13 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Dec 15, 2019 19:12:22 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

I understand about feeling totally alone. We can be your family! (Hey, Sis, yanno that green sweater? Could I borrow it? I promise to take good care of it. And the grey slacks. They look good together. Could I borrow those, too?)

And those amazing gray ankles boots too!

Hey!!! Those are MY amazing gray ankle boots, keep your hands off.  I didn't spray water proof them just so you could wear them.

[busymom]

Dec 15, 2019 18:56:51 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I actually have only heard from DNephew1 since dad got really bad.  DNephew3 has not responded to text messages.

Have not heard from sister since the discussion about letting me know if she is writing checks.

Feeling totally alone except for the people here.

    Sometimes the best family is the friendships you make outside of your family.     We're always here, just not always awake.  

[Deleted]

Dec 16, 2019 10:07:23 GMT -5 Blonde Granny said:

Dec 16, 2019 10:01:13 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

And those amazing gray ankles boots too!

Hey!!! Those are MY amazing gray ankle boots, keep your hands off.  I didn't spray water proof them just so you could wear them.

Isn't this the season of sharing? 

[Blonde Granny]

Read my lips!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do NOT share any suede ankle boots. I don't care who you are. They are MINE.

[Deleted]

Dec 16, 2019 10:47:06 GMT -5 Blonde Granny said:

Read my lips!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do NOT share any suede ankle boots. I don't care who you are. They are MINE.

Fine. Don't think even for a millisecond that you're gonna borrow the multi-colored sequined tube top and the purple satin miniskirt for New Year's Eve. Go buy your own. They're going to look like doo-doo with the ankle boots.

[Blonde Granny]

Well!! I will just buy my own and will look like a proper lady that knows to to dress appropriately and wears the jewelry that is fit for my status in life.

This just goes to show what happens when my sister is far older then I am. 79 posh, a proper lady never tells her age. At least as 75, I can still make decisions that don't embarrass others.

[Deleted]

Pfffft 

[TheOtherMe]

Now I find out (because dad's Part D sent an email) that dad did have some prescriptions after he got out of the hospital.  

The nursing home got less than 10 days worth for all of them, so I don't know if they are long term or not.  

I also don't know if the cost was in the nursing home bill, as the Part D says the nursing home on it.

[TheOtherMe]

Found dad's Part D card for 2020.  

Now I have a cold, so I'm not seeing anybody in the family while I have it.  Not going near a nursing home of elderly people with immune systems that are compromised and feel responsible for spreading to all the patients

[TheOtherMe]

The envelope of mail that had gathered at the post office will be arriving today.

Can't wait to see who sent a card to Dad and girls.  

[Deleted]

Dec 16, 2019 19:43:38 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Now I find out (because dad's Part D sent an email) that dad did have some prescriptions after he got out of the hospital.  

The nursing home got less than 10 days worth for all of them, so I don't know if they are long term or not.  

I also don't know if the cost was in the nursing home bill, as the Part D says the nursing home on it.

The meds that hospice pays for will only be filled for 10 days worth at a time.  I learned this the hard way.  Since I had to leave DH to pick up the meds, it made my life more difficult. 

[TheOtherMe]

BIL just called.  Guess sister won't call me.  He had talked to credit union.  With financial POA, sister can take some more money out of dad's IRA.  Going to keep it to where he doesn't owe taxes for 2019.

Decided that since dad is worse every day and hospice says he doesn't have long, will close the IRA in January.  

BIL did not want to do the rep payee account so I explained everything I had been told by Social Security.  He is now in agreement.  

They have a bill there that needs to be paid for prescriptions because the wrong pharmacy was used when dad left hospital.

BIL said Dnephew3 will bring the bill over and to give him anything I have.  

Guess this is how we communicate from now on.

[TheOtherMe]

Dec 18, 2019 11:52:01 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

Dec 16, 2019 19:43:38 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Now I find out (because dad's Part D sent an email) that dad did have some prescriptions after he got out of the hospital.  

The nursing home got less than 10 days worth for all of them, so I don't know if they are long term or not.  

I also don't know if the cost was in the nursing home bill, as the Part D says the nursing home on it.

The meds that hospice pays for will only be filled for 10 days worth at a time.  I learned this the hard way.  Since I had to leave DH to pick up the meds, it made my life more difficult. 

They were not hospice meds.  Things like acid reflux, etc.  

When mom was in hospice, hospice brought the meds they paid for with them.  We didn't have to go pick them up.

Sounds like with the nursing home being involved, we don't have to pick them up.

[TheOtherMe]

This is typed through tears.  I just told my dad goodbye.  Hardest thing I have done because he is so out of it.  His tone of voice changed.  

Hospice says his journey has begun.  It could be today.  Their guess is no more than 10 days.  

He breathes for a while and then stops.  One of these times, he is not going to start again.

Mom's favorite brother and his daughter visited yesterday.  Mom's baby brother loved both mom and dad.  I'm so glad they came.

Sister asked how a cousin knew the address at the nursing home.  I told her I gave it to her.

[flamingo]

Hugs, TheO.  I'm so sorry. You've done everything you can possibly do, so I hope you can have a little peace knowing that. 

[finnime]

I'm so sorry for your coming loss, TheOtherMe. Losing a parent is so painful. I'm glad you gave your uncle and cousin the information so they could see him.

[TheOtherMe]

Why does it have to be so hard? 

He's 95 and he's in so much pain.

[Iggy aka IG]

I am so, so sorry, TheOtherMe. 

[crazycat]

So so sorry you are going through this . Is is so very hard . I went through this 2 years ago with my mom . Sending virtual hugs , prayers , and good thoughts to you . 🙏🏻😊

[Deleted]

Dec 18, 2019 13:24:24 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

This is typed through tears.  I just told my dad goodbye.  Hardest thing I have done because he is so out of it.  His tone of voice changed.  

Hospice says his journey has begun.  It could be today.  Their guess is no more than 10 days.  

He breathes for a while and then stops.  One of these times, he is not going to start again.

Mom's favorite brother and his daughter visited yesterday.  Mom's baby brother loved both mom and dad.  I'm so glad they came.

Sister asked how a cousin knew the address at the nursing home.  I told her I gave it to her.

I am so sorry.  For your father's sake in particular, I hope his journey is a quick one.

It is ok to cry, you know.  I still do.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Blonde Granny]

Tom: It's always going to be so hard to lose a parent. It's been 6 months since my 99 y/o Mom died, but sometimes I think I'll pick up the phone and call her......how I wish I could, just one more time.

My prayers for you and your family.

[Chocolate Lover]

I'm so sorry Theo. 

[shanendoah]

*hugs* TheOtherMe For your father's sake, I hope it is today. I remember the last visit with my MIL, and the feeling of sadness, but also relief, when the nursing home called late that night.
EDITED TO ADD: Walking in Memphis was playing on the radio during that last visit. It has a changed meaning for us, now.

I am so sorry your sister is coping with this so poorly. It seems to me that she feels she (and her kids) are the only ones losing someone, and she doesn't want to share that with you or any other relative.
I am sorry she is not able to see beyond her own grief enough to remember that she is not the only one grieving.

[Deleted]

So sorry to hear this, and I also hope that at this point it happens quickly. 

[NoNamePerson]

 And a