My dad

[zibazinski]

I’m sorry

[TheOtherMe]

Nov 25, 2019 20:09:05 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

If he could get hospice care in the nursing home that would probably be the best situation. I hope they do get him moved tomorrow.

The hospitalist made a referral for hospice care at the nursing home.  We don't have any inpatient hospice facilities here.  

Right now, that is the best situation.

[Iggy aka IG]

Checking in to see how it's going, TheOtherMe. 

[TheOtherMe]

I couldn't go today to help admit dad to the nursing home because I woke up with a bad cold.  

I have not heard from my sister yet.

Thanks for asking, Iggy.

[Iggy aka IG]

Understood.  Feel better, TheOtherMe.

[TheOtherMe]

Me not having financial POA is making all of this a pain in the butt.

Sister doesn't like to make phone calls but nobody will talk to me because I am not the POA.

ETA:  She says she can't deal with this today.  I understand that.  

Sadly, my parents chose her as the financial POA so every place I called today has to be done by her.

She really doesn't understand but I legally can't do anything.

She thought he had no bills but the nursing home.  No, he also has Medicare Part D and his health insurance that still has to be paid.

Hospice is already involved.

[Deleted]

She can't deal with this today? Okay. I understand that, too, but does your dad, poor confused soul, understand that?

[Chocolate Lover]

Nov 27, 2019 10:56:27 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Me not having financial POA is making all of this a pain in the butt.

Sister doesn't like to make phone calls but nobody will talk to me because I am not the POA.

ETA:  She says she can't deal with this today.  I understand that.  

Sadly, my parents chose her as the financial POA so every place I called today has to be done by her.

She really doesn't understand but I legally can't do anything.

She thought he had no bills but the nursing home.  No, he also has Medicare Part D and his health insurance that still has to be paid.

Hospice is already involved.

Lie to them, tell them you're her. Hell, take her phone and use it if they have the number on file. 

[Artemis Windsong]

Nov 27, 2019 10:56:27 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Me not having financial POA is making all of this a pain in the butt.

Sister doesn't like to make phone calls but nobody will talk to me because I am not the POA.

ETA:  She says she can't deal with this today.  I understand that.  

Sadly, my parents chose her as the financial POA so every place I called today has to be done by her.

She really doesn't understand but I legally can't do anything.

She thought he had no bills but the nursing home.  No, he also has Medicare Part D and his health insurance that still has to be paid.

Hospice is already involved.

I'm sorry you are going through this.  My late Dad put my bozo brothers in charge of everything.  Since your sister can't deal with this today then what is going to happen with Dad over the next several days?

[debthaven]

TheO can you do it with your sister? Or explain the situation to the nursing home so that they put pressure on her (rather than you)?

I'm sorry but at least your dad is in a safe place now.

[TheOtherMe]

Nov 27, 2019 11:39:34 GMT -5 @missrigby said:

She can't deal with this today? Okay. I understand that, too, but does your dad, poor confused soul, understand that?

He doesn't understand much of anything.

[TheOtherMe]

Nov 27, 2019 11:45:28 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Nov 27, 2019 10:56:27 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Me not having financial POA is making all of this a pain in the butt.

Sister doesn't like to make phone calls but nobody will talk to me because I am not the POA.

ETA:  She says she can't deal with this today.  I understand that.  

Sadly, my parents chose her as the financial POA so every place I called today has to be done by her.

She really doesn't understand but I legally can't do anything.

She thought he had no bills but the nursing home.  No, he also has Medicare Part D and his health insurance that still has to be paid.

Hospice is already involved.

Lie to them, tell them you're her. Hell, take her phone and use it if they have the number on file. 

I would but they want the POA and I don't have it.  They don't have her number as I used to call and be mom.  

The phone company that won't let me cancel the account, for instance.  Mom had me call and set it up saying I was her.  Unfortunately, I can't be dad.

One place today asked if I put a sheet of paper in front of dad, could he sign his name.  He has only been blind for a week today.  I'm not going to stress him with anything.

[TheOtherMe]

Nov 27, 2019 11:54:27 GMT -5 Artemis Windsong said:

Nov 27, 2019 10:56:27 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Me not having financial POA is making all of this a pain in the butt.

Sister doesn't like to make phone calls but nobody will talk to me because I am not the POA.

ETA:  She says she can't deal with this today.  I understand that.  

Sadly, my parents chose her as the financial POA so every place I called today has to be done by her.

She really doesn't understand but I legally can't do anything.

She thought he had no bills but the nursing home.  No, he also has Medicare Part D and his health insurance that still has to be paid.

Hospice is already involved.

I'm sorry you are going through this.  My late Dad put my bozo brothers in charge of everything.  Since your sister can't deal with this today then what is going to happen with Dad over the next several days?

Dad is in the nursing home so he will be fine.  

Some of the calls will result in refunds and others are just to change his address.

[TheOtherMe]

Nov 27, 2019 12:02:40 GMT -5 debthaven said:

TheO can you do it with your sister? Or explain the situation to the nursing home so that they put pressure on her (rather than you)?

I'm sorry but at least your dad is in a safe place now.

I don't know if the nursing home would pressure her over this stuff.  It really has nothing to do with them.

Yes, dad is where he should have been for at least the last 6 months.

I sent her an email outlining every place that needs the POA before anything can be done.  I guess it's her problem now.

She keeps texting "I don't do phone calls"  Well, you do now.

[Chocolate Lover]

Nov 27, 2019 12:34:42 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Nov 27, 2019 12:02:40 GMT -5 debthaven said:

TheO can you do it with your sister? Or explain the situation to the nursing home so that they put pressure on her (rather than you)?

I'm sorry but at least your dad is in a safe place now.

I don't know if the nursing home would pressure her over this stuff.  It really has nothing to do with them.

Yes, dad is where he should have been for at least the last 6 months.

I sent her an email outlining every place that needs the POA before anything can be done.  I guess it's her problem now.

She keeps texting "I don't do phone calls"  Well, you do now.

If she won't her only other option is to give you a copy of the POA so you can pretend to be her. She can't have it both ways unless she wants to pay for all that stuff forever. Isn't the niece on there too? Why isn't she making these calls if her mother won't? 

[debthaven]

The other option, TheO, is for you to go to her house, insist on her handing you the POA, and make those calls pretending to be her while she's with you. Or, alternatively, have her bring the POA to YOUR house and make her stick around while you pretend to be her from YOUR house.

I MUCH prefer Chocolate Lover 's solution, but the bottom line is, your sister is a super stubborn PITA and you both need to get this done ASAP.

TheO only YOU can decide if it's easier for you to hold out and wait for her to do it, or to be the accommodating one and just "get it done".

I know this is not easy friend, but you'll be relieved once it's done.

Hugs and courage.

ETA: Wow how I would LOVE to declare to the world that "I don't do phone calls" LOL.

[Chocolate Lover]

Nov 27, 2019 14:28:41 GMT -5 debthaven said:

The other option, TheO, is for you to go to her house, insist on her handing you the POA, and make those calls pretending to be her while she's with you. Or, alternatively, have her bring the POA to YOUR house and make her stick around while you pretend to be her from YOUR house.

I MUCH prefer Chocolate Lover 's solution, but the bottom line is, your sister is a super stubborn PITA and you both need to get this done ASAP.

TheO only YOU can decide if it's easier for you to hold out and wait for her to do it, or to be the accommodating one and just "get it done".

I know this is not easy friend, but it will be a bit easier once it's done.

Hugs and courage.

ETA: Wow how I would LOVE to declare to the world that "I don't do phone calls" LOL.

What was the name of that story? Bartleby the Scrivner? "I prefer not to" 

[debthaven]

I don't know that Chocolate Lover . I need to look it up. But DS1 will be arriving any minute so I'll do it another time.

[Chocolate Lover]

Nov 27, 2019 15:08:25 GMT -5 debthaven said:

I don't know that Chocolate Lover . I need to look it up.

I think it's a Herman Melville short story. The slacker in me loved that part when we had to read it in school. I don't even remember the point of the story, just the phrase "I prefer not to".

[TheOtherMe]

Nov 27, 2019 12:49:17 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Nov 27, 2019 12:34:42 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I don't know if the nursing home would pressure her over this stuff.  It really has nothing to do with them.

Yes, dad is where he should have been for at least the last 6 months.

I sent her an email outlining every place that needs the POA before anything can be done.  I guess it's her problem now.

She keeps texting "I don't do phone calls"  Well, you do now.

If she won't her only other option is to give you a copy of the POA so you can pretend to be her. She can't have it both ways unless she wants to pay for all that stuff forever. Isn't the niece on there too? Why isn't she making these calls if her mother won't? 

Niece is the medical POA.  She isn't on the financial POA.

Yes, she is costing him money and it isn't necessary that he pay for things he no longer uses.

I will confront her Friday to see if she wants me to make the calls and give me a copy of the POA so I can do it.

[Chocolate Lover]

Nov 27, 2019 15:30:08 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Nov 27, 2019 12:49:17 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

If she won't her only other option is to give you a copy of the POA so you can pretend to be her. She can't have it both ways unless she wants to pay for all that stuff forever. Isn't the niece on there too? Why isn't she making these calls if her mother won't? 

Niece is the medical POA.  She isn't on the financial POA.

Yes, she is costing him money and it isn't necessary that he pay for things he no longer uses.

I will confront her Friday to see if she wants me to make the calls and give me a copy of the POA so I can do it.

Ah, I had them all mashed together. 

Yeah, I know this is all hard, and not getting any easier but it's not going to get any easier to make those calls either. Your sister just continues to make me shake my head.

Good luck! 

[TheOtherMe]

Nov 27, 2019 14:28:41 GMT -5 debthaven said:

The other option, TheO, is for you to go to her house, insist on her handing you the POA, and make those calls pretending to be her while she's with you. Or, alternatively, have her bring the POA to YOUR house and make her stick around while you pretend to be her from YOUR house.

I MUCH prefer Chocolate Lover 's solution, but the bottom line is, your sister is a super stubborn PITA and you both need to get this done ASAP.

TheO only YOU can decide if it's easier for you to hold out and wait for her to do it, or to be the accommodating one and just "get it done".

I know this is not easy friend, but you'll be relieved once it's done.

Hugs and courage.

ETA: Wow how I would LOVE to declare to the world that "I don't do phone calls" LOL.

I made all the phone calls when mom died, but I wasn't closing out accounts.  Just informing people to take her name off of things.  

We will resolve this on Friday--she will give me a copy of the POA or I will sit there while she makes the calls.

I have a friend in Colorado who also doesn't make phone calls.  She has all but begged me to call her landline phone provider who has been charging her $5 a month for over 10 years.  She returned the modem for internet and they have no record of the return.  She is mad at them.  No, back then I got a tracking number and kept it until I received the bill where the $5 was removed.  Can you imagine paying $5 a month for at least 10 years that you don't need to pay?

[TheOtherMe]

And mine Chocolate Lover

[Deleted]

Good luck, TheOtherMe.  I like to get things done so your sister would really frustrate me.  Some small stuff like magazine subscriptions you can probably just call up and cancel.  It is the big stuff that becomes a stickler for the right paperwork.

[TheOtherMe]

Right @bamafan1954   I have done the two calls that I can do to cancel things.  Every other place I called had to be the person with the POA.  

I wanted it all taken care of ASAP.  Probably the accountant in me.  

She is a Black Friday shopper so doubt if she makes any calls today.

[CCL]

Can you cancel some of that stuff via their websites? I hardly ever doing anything by phone any more.

[TheOtherMe]

Nov 29, 2019 9:37:49 GMT -5 CCL said:

Can you cancel some of that stuff via their websites? I hardly ever doing anything by phone any more.

I just tried.  No online accounts have been set up.  I'm guessing his information is flagged because none would let me set up an account.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I hope for a smooth conversation between you and your sister today. If it isn't, enlist your niece or BIL. Hugs. 

[Deleted]

TheOtherMe, has any progress been made? How are you doing? 

[TheOtherMe]

No progress has been made

I am not doing well at all