Tween girls

[Wisconsin Beth]

Sept 23, 2019 10:28:29 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

K told me this monring that she'd dropped hers repeatedly.  She likes having 2 - one to keep in her locker for gym and one at home.  But she couldn't figure out how to get the new one started.  It was a gel and I think the last one was solid.  I let her pick out whatever one she wants but I don't think she realized it was a gel until then.  I'm not sure she even knew that gel was an option. 

She hated the gel one.  Can't say that I blame her for that.  So she wanted the solid "just like the one Frau X gave her"  She got samples in a health class in 5th grade.  Which led to a back and forth of "what kind" "Lavender" "what brand" "i don't know"  Eventually she found the dead trial size one.  It's Secret solid, luxe lavender so now we know.  And she's decided she only needs 1.  Whatever works for you kiddo!

Her science class has moved on to plate tectonics.  Yeah, the whole Earth Sciences is not her cup of tea.  I adored plate tectonics (still do) so I'm happy.  She did say this was marginally better than the erosion stuff.  Last night I was lining up sharpened pencils to show her the magnetic reversals locked into the fresh magma on the sea floor.  I had fun. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

K learned a decent lesson on keeping track of the websites you use for information last night.  Her teacher informed the class yesterday (report is due today) that they need to cite them.  She did her research last week, on a Chromebook at a school.  She found 3 of them on our system at home.  She knows she went to more sites but couldn't find them last night.  It's a 6th grade report/project on a country.  She'd chosen Greece due to her love of mythology/Percy Jackson books. 

[oped]

Son is looking at a co op in Greece. Among many other things. I’m like... try for that one!

[Wisconsin Beth]

DH needed to buy work clothes, so he and K went shopping on Sunday at Kohl's and then Whole Foods (the real reason she wanted to go, she likes their cheese samples.)  I told them to look for pants for her.  She got a pair of jeggings, her favorite pants.  She needs more long pants for winter but it's a start. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

K had a date with my sisters on Sunday.  She did not want to attend C's friends party at the ninja gym.  My older sister picked her up around 11am and returned her to us around 7pm.  My younger sister joined them at some point in the day.  They shopped, using Kohl's cash.  So K has a bunch more shirts.  She informed me that shopping with her aunts is much better than shopping with her dad or me! 

[azucena]

DD11's moodiness has gotten better except for true PMS'ing time which is to be expected.

However, the hygiene battles continue. Yesterday's chapter was me putting together a Walmart list and asking if she needs any bathroom items, she did need new razor blades. Then, it occurred to me that I haven't bought shampoo or conditioner in several months so I should check how close it is to being empty. Um, you guys, the bottles were still completely full.  Like maybe less than 5 uses if I'm being generous. Over.several.months. So not only has she continued to sometimes fake showers by running the water, sometimes wetting her hair fully, sometimes partially, sometimes not at all, but even when she does fully shower she hasn't been washing her hair! When I confronted her I started by saying I'm having this one last full blown conversation with you and then I stepping back and not mentioning showering again, like ever, and it's up to her to figure it out even if that means getting made fun of. When I asked if she was using shampoo she confessed hardly ever 'because it is too much work'. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! And this coming from the kid who is putting time into fixing her hair into different styles every morning and begging to be allowed to wear lip gloss. And, clearly is self conscious about the dandruff problems which I had chalked up to hormones. OH.MY.WORD. I said I've given you all of the info and all of the tools, now figure it out. I'm done.

This morning I'm laughing about it.  It never occurred to me to go beyond the please shower and be sure to wash your hair. and oh yeah, use shampoo and conditioner!

For the love of all that is holy!

[azucena]

And I'm goin to keep my word about not bringing any of the hygiene stuff up at all.  I said she can come to me with questions or if she needs supplies. And not to ask about lip gloss unless she has a death wish.

[Wisconsin Beth]

K is pretty good about shampooing due to the dandruff issue.  She's also my 25 minute shower kid.  We chase her out when one of us needs to get in there sometimes.  Our doctor recommended tea tree oil for her scalp, for the dandruff.  We haven't tried it yet. 

C is my kid who will soap up when dry, rinse off and then say he's all clean.  We've gone back to turning the water and shower head on for him.  And we also list off the body parts he needs to scrub.  I toss odd ones in like 'back of your knees' every so often, for fun.  He does better when I stay in the bathroom with him though.  He just turned 10. 

[Sharon]

This shampoo is expensive but works great for the dandruff issue.  It is a Paul Mitchell product.

[azucena]

When she does take a shower, it's a looooooong one and I could care less if we don't have to be somewhere.

DD7 started calling her buttcrack Larry several months ago (what can I say, I have weird kids). She said he needed a name because he talks (ie farts). Anyway, I usually tell both girls to wash their hair, armpits, front Larry and back Larry. I guess I should qualify - with soap!

[raeoflyte]

There are people who don't shampoo and their hair is fine. I tried "no-poo" but was too oily for it. Now I shampoo after the pool (usually once a week) but I have to use a clarifying conditioner a few times throughout the week.

If you haven't noticed a smell or oil issue I'd say its working for her.

I have to assume ds will grow out of the hatred of bathing. He comes out with shampoo still in his hair because he can't be bothered to actually rinse.

[alabamagal]

I always had issues with teens staying in the shower FOREVER. With 3 in the house, and needing time for hot water heater to recover, evenings were spent with constant showers.

[azucena]

Nov 8, 2019 21:10:25 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

There are people who don't shampoo and their hair is fine. I tried "no-poo" but was too oily for it. Now I shampoo after the pool (usually once a week) but I have to use a clarifying conditioner a few times throughout the week.

If you haven't noticed a smell or oil issue I'd say its working for her.

I have to assume ds will grow out of the hatred of bathing. He comes out with shampoo still in his hair because he can't be bothered to actually rinse.

Oh it's oily, flaky, and smelly. I don't think no-poo works with puberty!

We got a new hot water heater last year so hot water is not a problem.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Nov 8, 2019 11:30:53 GMT -5 Sharon said:

This shampoo is expensive but works great for the dandruff issue.  It is a Paul Mitchell product.

I bought the shampoo and conditioner at Woodman's when I grocery shopped.  $13 a bottle.  I told her to use it last night and she did.  She's got long and thick hair so we'll see how this works out. 

Thanks!

[azucena]

Tea tree shampoo is slowly helping.

My BFF had a hellacious work day yesterday - 5 am to 9 pm. She texted me at 5 that she was picking up her 13 yo from aftercare and then going to have to take her back to work until she could finish.  A typical vent text that's common between us. I responded hold up, I'll get her, bring her back to finish homework, eat dinner, etc. She thanked me over and over.

I walked into aftercare and 13 yo was ecstatic that I was there to rescue her.  I lost track of how many times she thanked me.  She politely asked about my day, wondered what was for dinner, thanked me for reheating leftovers, was grateful for homework help, and when mom was still working at 8 politely asked if I could take her home because she was clearly tired and ready for bed.  I know she hasn't stayed alone much esp at dark so I said I'd pack a book and sit and/or sleep on the couch until her mom was home.  Got there and suggested she shower, she said nah, and I said oh but it makes me sleep so much quicker and better after a relaxing shower.  Knew she needed one and wouldn't be time in the morning and has been fighting her mom on them too.  So she took one and was in bed at 8:30.

Anyway after hearing her mom vent about the same puberty girl drama things that are happening at my house, I now have hope that my own good, polite kid is hiding in there under the puberty LOL. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

I need to check her hair, see if it's working.  Our "schedule" if we want to call it that, is way out of whack lately.  Hopefully we can reset this weekend. 

[azucena]

Today's drama brought to you by an 11 yo who threw a fit that her snowsuit was too small. DH who is 2 inches taller and 50 lbs heavier proceeded to easily climb inside since it's an adult men's medium. Turns out she didn't realize it had a zipper.

I didn't get credit for having purchased size 9 women's snow boots, but I'm sure I would have heard about it if her boots were truly too small.

[azucena]

DD11's wet/dry razor lasted all of 3-4 months before it crapped out. It was only $20.  Walmart didn't have any other choices and Target's next choice was $60, so I let her buy the same one again with the plan to be more cautious about its water exposure this time.  She'd gone several weeks since it broke without shaving but now it's bball season and she was self conscious. Told her this was the easiest solution for my limited time and if it breaks again, she will likely have to shave with regular razor.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I asked K last night what she'd prefer to do on 2/1.  She's got a math comp and a vball game in the morning.  She can't do both.  I don't care which one she does.  She told me that she likes the Mathcounts club for giving her harder math but doesn't want to be in math competitions.  Fine by me.  I told DH her choice and I don't think he cared either way either.  So that's 1 scheduling problem down!

She doesn't have a vball game this weekend.  I'm debating if I want to see if I can set up a playdate at a friend's house or just haul her with us to C's game. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

K is asking for healthier foods in her lunches.  Which is a good thing.  Although all the carrots, snap peas, fruit in the world are not going to make up for the salami and cheese sandwiches...  I'm not telling her that though.  Breakfasts are hard enough with her.  Although dinner is fairly easy. She's 11.5, in 6th grade and they're covering healthy habits in school.  So I just try to roll with it. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

K's been invited to submit an application for National Junior Honors Society (NJHS) and was working on it this weekend.  It's due Wed.  We're kinda stuck on the part about showing leadership. 

She also had a GREAT vball game on Saturday morning. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

The booklet for summer camp type things from the high school K wants to attend showed up yesterday.  I handed it over to K to pick out what she wants to do.  3 of the things she wants to do are all on the same days and the exact same times.  We might be able to wiggle around a couple of them, I'm not sure yet. 

[giramomma]

DD1 called me dramatic this morning, because I insisted she follow her cheer performance uniform.

I told her I thought that was rich.

She said well, I had to get it from someone, so I probably got it from you.

It's a good thing she's cute.

[Wisconsin Beth]

My baby turns 12 next week.  12. 

[azucena]

In the summer, we limit screen time to an hour per day, two hours on weekends.

DD11 has a new workaround - podcasts.  I keep finding her lazing around in her room for hours and hours listening to all sorts of podcasts.  In theory, I don't mind podcasts.  However, she's become a little obsessive and there's a definite correlation with bad attitude after a day's worth.  I'm tired of fighting about something every time I turn around though.

Without screens and podcasts, she's crafting, being more active, and reading a ton which is more normal for her and has to be much healthier.

[oped]

You can listen to podcasts while crafting etc. I have audiobooks on half the day... while gardening, swimming, puzzling, cooking, walking.... etc. is it content, or is there a reason behind her self isolation? 

Podcasts are not unhealthy... feels like something else at issue.

[gs11rmb]

Jun 9, 2020 8:28:57 GMT -5 oped said:

You can listen to podcasts while crafting etc. I have audiobooks on half the day... while gardening, swimming, puzzling, cooking, walking.... etc. is I content, or is there a reason behind her self isolation? 

Podcasts are not unhealthy... feels like something else at issue.

I listen to podcasts while doing things that don't require concentration such as laundry, emptying the dishwasher, etc.  If it's something I need to pay attention to then I'll put on an audiobook I've listened to before.

[azucena]

She is usually drawing while listening.  I don't mind an hour or two in a row.  Pretty sure left on her own it would be 4-6 hours straight and even then if we interrupt her it's like we ruined her whole day.

Even audiobooks put her in a different mood which results in different/worse behavior.

And I wouldn't say she's isolating as usually DD7 is listening with her, and I don't mind that they do it together because DD7 has a decent attention span and can keep up with these type of podcasts which are age approp for say 8-12 yr olds.  But that's another layer as DD7 is really at the age where she needs to be actively moving even more.  And neither being physically active means they truly aren't tired for an 8 or 9 pm bedtime but yet won't sleep in enough to get the 9-11 hours of sleep that they seem to require to be well rested and in good moods.

I wouldn't mind if it were music for hours on end.  I think podcasts require a different kind of attention.