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Post by empress of self-improvement on Jul 12, 2018 21:45:59 GMT -5
I just listed the YA stuff I've read and most of that is recently. We'd be here all day if I listed the adult books I read at that age.  No kidding! Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret Forever My Sweet Audrina The second two are definitely NOT for 10 year olds but I didn't really care. At least I vaguely learned about sex.  Not that it's done me a whole lot of good! |
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Post by empress of self-improvement on Jul 12, 2018 21:49:47 GMT -5
Sephora employees basically have to be walking advertisments for the products so that's why they look so made up all the time. They do know their products and have a nifty app that can help you match lipstick blush and foundation to your skin tone. I had them help me with foundation and I've been thrilled with the results. Trying to DIY at the drugstore wasn't cutting it. If you don't want to go there look for E.L.F. products. Target and Walmart carry them. It's all super cheap and makes for great starter make up. Ooh, good call on the ELF. NYX also has very good makeup for the price, and I've heard great things about Milani as well, though can't vouch personally. Wet & Wild. They have a website with videos on application tips. They are cheap but the black eyeliner has been around since I was in high school. 20-something years ago. That and Aqua Net. |
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 13, 2018 12:19:12 GMT -5
I am also not on the conservative side of things so obviously a grain of salt, but I think the more communication the better. So seconding what pants said...don't make it "the talk" just make it a normal conversation is really important. Childhood innocence is fleeting and what they pick up from friends is going to be so much different from your views (no matter what your views are). So I really want the kids to have some of those conversations ruminating in their heads with me before they hear things from friends whenever possible.
Same thing on books. Even if it's completely different than what you want her to pick up, exposure to those opposing views are still valuable and can help solidify beliefs--especially if you're reading some of them with her. We haven't done it for a while, but we like to do the family book on tape together. We have a small group of C's friends who are doing a book club. So they pick the book, and then are getting together to talk about it a bit. It's a glorified play date, but still fun. If she goes to youth group, maybe that's an option?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 13, 2018 12:29:29 GMT -5
She wears the bras. And she is perfectly okay with me buying them for her and wearing them. The issue is I need to know what freaking size to buy. What I am not going to do is buy 6 bras different sizes and hope that one fits her the right way so her back doesn't hurt. My friend who is better at guessing sizes then me say she is most likely a c or d.... I would love for her to try on different styles for support but I know that isn't going to happen. Check out title 9 sports. They have amazing sports bras, and if she wants them to just go away, their frog bra will make that happen as much as humanly possible. |
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 13, 2018 12:33:10 GMT -5
We do have a pretty good open running dialogue about puberty, the bees, and finances in particular - all things my parents never said peep about. I have also said more than once that she will hear things from her friends and that if something doesn't make sense or sounds fishy, she should run it by us and we will tell her the truth no matter how gnarly it is. I have also learned that I can keep the discussions going longer if I end them by saying, now after you've had a chance to think about this, I'm going to check in with you in a few days to see if you have other questions/comments/concerns. Often we can cover a lot more details that way because she's just like me and constantly thinking and analyzing.
We've had several deep discussion about racism in the past 6 months which really brought to light about how mature she is in some ways.
Youth group doesn't start until 6th grade. We tried to set up a book club but none of her close peers can keep up with her. At 12, she can start attending more of the library discussions.
Cleared the makeup purchase with DH. He was a little skeptical but mostly because he'd never really thought of it yet.
We are getting pedicures this weekend because she completed some summer math workbooks and testing that I set up for. I usually don't tie rewards to this stuff, but I understand that having to do math over the summer seems like cruel and unusual punishment to a 9 yo LOL.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jul 13, 2018 12:45:12 GMT -5
Mine wants a bra. I've tried to explain to her she doesn't have anything to put in it and unfortunately if she takes after her mother she's never going to. DH is against it but I am considering buying her a bralette for Christmas. They have some in the girls' section at Target. It'd basically be like wearing a cami under her shirts but would give her the satisfaction of owing "a bra". Wait till she turns 12, that's when I started shaving my legs after being regularly tormented in PE about it. I plan on letting her do the same. Poor DH, boys would have been so much easier for him. My girl started wearing a bra when she noticed she was nipping through her t-shirt. I was supportive of that. I thought it was a sign of modesty, instead of sexuality. So, I bought her a few from target that had a double layer of a thick cotton. It didn't add any volume, but it covered the nips. |
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jul 13, 2018 12:53:42 GMT -5
She wears the bras. And she is perfectly okay with me buying them for her and wearing them. The issue is I need to know what freaking size to buy. What I am not going to do is buy 6 bras different sizes and hope that one fits her the right way so her back doesn't hurt. My friend who is better at guessing sizes then me say she is most likely a c or d.... I would love for her to try on different styles for support but I know that isn't going to happen. Order 6 on zappos - returns are free. Then she can try them on at home. Or do one of the specialty websites that proclaim their bras are so different from all the others (they all look like bras - so I'm not sure how different they are.) |
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Jul 13, 2018 13:32:30 GMT -5
I have a 10yo DD. She isn't growing yet, but like Thyme's daughter, started noticing nipples through the shirt. So she asked me if she could wear a bra. What we ultimately ended up doing was getting her a brami from Target- something like this www.target.com/p/girls-2pk-seamless-brami-cat-jack-153-pink/-/A-51783102She has a lot of body hair, so we started legs and arms shaving this summer. She has been super excited about not being teased anymore regarding that. We are a pretty open household. No questions are off limits. If there is a particularly tricky one from the kids, DH or I tell them clearly that we don't know how to articulate it clearly right then, and we'll think about how to answer that and get back to them later. |
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jul 13, 2018 20:49:57 GMT -5
She wears the bras. And she is perfectly okay with me buying them for her and wearing them. The issue is I need to know what freaking size to buy. What I am not going to do is buy 6 bras different sizes and hope that one fits her the right way so her back doesn't hurt. My friend who is better at guessing sizes then me say she is most likely a c or d.... I would love for her to try on different styles for support but I know that isn't going to happen. Order 6 on zappos - returns are free. Then she can try them on at home. Or do one of the specialty websites that proclaim their bras are so different from all the others (they all look like bras - so I'm not sure how different they are.) This I very well may do. It seems odd to me to return bras, same thing with underwear and socks. |
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 13, 2018 21:04:45 GMT -5
I started DD with Clinique because they were very clean with their looks. Plus I didn’t want to fight over her wearing too much. Advice from an “expert “ is much better than from mom. Who knows nothing.  |
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jul 13, 2018 22:42:58 GMT -5
Sheesh...typed my original reply on my phone. It's quite discombobulated. I'll go fix that.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jul 13, 2018 22:52:13 GMT -5
1. Makeup -
———My rules were they could have all sorts at home, my old stuff etc. They could play with it and practice with it. Leaving the house though was a different story. Sixth grade, choose mascara or lipstick. Seventh grade add the other one. Eighth grade add foundation. Freshman year wear what you want, but if we think you’re overboard we will make you wash your face.
2. Puberty conversations
———Interesting about getting the boy version of the book. That sounds like a great idea. We made sure to not react negatively to any questions about any puberty stuff. Ask what you want, and we'll give you the best answer we can or research it together.
3. Birds and the bees conversation is on the near horizon. Any book recommendations?
———Sorry, I don't know of any books. We (DH more than me) were just blunt and passé about it. Ask whatever you want and we will answer in a dignified, appropriate manner. We've tried hard to take away any embarrassment about it. My mother was all about "the talk" and that was excruciating. I did want a more comfortable relationship about this stuff for my kids.
4. More mature books -
———We look look at recommendation lists for teenagers on Pinterest a lot. I also look at award lists like Newberry and Caldecott. I liked the
Common Sense Media site to make sure a book isn't outrageous.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 14, 2018 8:38:20 GMT -5
1. Makeup -
———My rules were they could have all sorts at home, my old stuff etc. They could play with it and practice with it. Leaving the house though was a different story. Sixth grade, choose mascara or lipstick. Seventh grade add the other one. Eighth grade add foundation. Freshman year wear what you want, but if we think you’re overboard we will make you wash your face.
2. Puberty conversations
———Interesting about getting the boy version of the book. That sounds like a great idea. We made sure to not react negatively to any questions about any puberty stuff. Ask what you want, and we'll give you the best answer we can or research it together.
3. Birds and the bees conversation is on the near horizon. Any book recommendations?
———Sorry, I don't know of any books. We (DH more than me) were just blunt and passé about it. Ask whatever you want and we will answer in a dignified, appropriate manner. We've tried hard to take away any embarrassment about it. My mother was all about "the talk" and that was excruciating. I did want a more comfortable relationship about this stuff for my kids.
4. More mature books -
———We look look at recommendation lists for teenagers on Pinterest a lot. I also look at award lists like Newberry and Caldecott. I liked the
Common Sense Media site to make sure a book isn't outrageous. I went to the public library and asked the librarian. She recommended three books. I felt like Goldilocks. One was really raw/graphic, the other was too simplistic, the third book was perfect. I gave it to DS and asked him to read it and if he had questions to ask me then. I didn’t know what he knew and what he didn’t and talking forever would have bored us both to death. His questions were basically about “hair” growth. Wasn’t a fan of it. |
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jul 14, 2018 9:05:37 GMT -5
With young girls and makeup, I'd totally go with the mineral stuff--more sheer and natural looking, and super easy to apply with brushes. I wish it were around when I was young. I use it now, but my skin is too dry in the winter for the foundation. Would've been great for my super oily teen skin.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 16, 2018 7:20:53 GMT -5
What's the latest and greatest OTC prevention/treatment for acne? DD has her first pimple. I had typical acne, but DH's (and his sister's) was the worst so I'm praying my girls don't have those genes.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 16, 2018 8:13:38 GMT -5
Whatever you do, do NOT have her use alcohol based toners or products. That takes away sheen but actually makes skin more prone to breakouts in the long run. Something with salicylic acid or benzyl peroxide will help regarding cleansers, and a retinol based light moisturizer should help too.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 16, 2018 8:21:22 GMT -5
I prefer benzyl peroxide. Netrogena IMO is still the gold standard for acne face wash.
Regarding mineral make-up apparently I am the only woman on the planet who doesn't love it. I develop a rash every time I use it, regardless of brand. I couldn't figure out why my complexion was not improving as advertised with Bare Minerals. I stopped using it. . .rash went away.
I stick with liquid foundation. There are so many great ones on the market now, gone are the days where you only had three tones to choose from.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Jul 16, 2018 8:51:28 GMT -5
What's the latest and greatest OTC prevention/treatment for acne? DD has her first pimple. I had typical acne, but DH's (and his sister's) was the worst so I'm praying my girls don't have those genes. Differin gel, I believe. For isolated pimples, vs. acne, I've had really good luck with those pimple patches you see everywhere now. You wear them overnight and it makes a real difference. Let me know if you need a link. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 16, 2018 9:17:28 GMT -5
Shaving? K has no underarm hair. Her leg hair is blond and sparse. When did your girls start shaving?
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Jul 16, 2018 9:25:16 GMT -5
Shaving? K has no underarm hair. Her leg hair is blond and sparse. When did your girls start shaving? I'd let her drive it. If she wants to shave, let her shave. If she doesn't bring it up, then don't fret about it. |
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justme
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Post by justme on Jul 16, 2018 10:18:13 GMT -5
What's the latest and greatest OTC prevention/treatment for acne? DD has her first pimple. I had typical acne, but DH's (and his sister's) was the worst so I'm praying my girls don't have those genes. Differin gel, I believe. For isolated pimples, vs. acne, I've had really good luck with those pimple patches you see everywhere now. You wear them overnight and it makes a real difference. Let me know if you need a link. I second those patches! A lifesaver if you get those painful whiteheads. Tea tree oil can also help - used it a lot when young (hard to use too much vs the traditional stuff). Bare minerals used to have a powder that worked wonders and had color to help conceal, but I haven't used their new versions. Exfoliating helps me as well, love my clarisonic but the cheaper ones might work too. If you use benzoyl peroxide buy some white pillowcases too...I destroyed my college ones with huge bleach stains from it. |
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 16, 2018 11:30:29 GMT -5
Shaving? K has no underarm hair. Her leg hair is blond and sparse. When did your girls start shaving? I'd let her drive it. If she wants to shave, let her shave. If she doesn't bring it up, then don't fret about it. We started armpits a few months ago so say 9.5 when the hair was noticeable in her bball jersey. She's asked about legs, but I said it's a PITA and suggested waiting a while and she didn't push me on it. She's hairy like me, only lighter color, so I'm hoping she's not in a hurry. |
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 16, 2018 11:31:26 GMT -5
What's the latest and greatest OTC prevention/treatment for acne? DD has her first pimple. I had typical acne, but DH's (and his sister's) was the worst so I'm praying my girls don't have those genes. Differin gel, I believe. For isolated pimples, vs. acne, I've had really good luck with those pimple patches you see everywhere now. You wear them overnight and it makes a real difference. Let me know if you need a link. I haven't seen them, but haven't been in that aisle lately. I'm sure I'll find them now that I know to look. Good advice from others too. I'm making a list LOL. |
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jul 16, 2018 11:41:55 GMT -5
ODD hasn't started shaving yet. She pretty much wears long pants and shirts that don't show under arm hair. She also seems to have gotten a good combination of DH's dry skin and my oily skin where so far no real pimples. We will see what happens. I will let her decided when to shave. I really don't so not sure I am the best role model for that. Of course we still have to tell her to take a bath/shower at least every other day.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 16, 2018 13:13:12 GMT -5
Mine just asked me if she could shave. She's eight. I have a hard time agreeing to an 8 year old shaving her legs. She said girls are teasing her about it already. I don't remember that starting till 5th grade, are girls really maturing that much faster nowadays?  FWIW she has super light leg hair. It looks like she might start taking after me in the amount but as of right now you still have to stare pretty hard at her legs to see it. |
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jul 16, 2018 14:09:20 GMT -5
Drama can your 8 year old come hang out with my 10 year old some. I feel like she has a better grip on this growing thing then ODD
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jul 16, 2018 16:04:31 GMT -5
OK ladies, I am reaching out for your help. I am going to offer to take my niece shopping for a dress for an upcoming family wedding. I think my DS is very cash strapped, and we don't think her DH is much help. Her DD was just 13 in May, and she did shop at Justice, but she may have outgrown that store. It is another niece, (so her Cousin) that is the bride. The minister is Seventh Day Adventist - our family is Catholic. I am just figuring on a summer dress. My neice is Chubby. She is Maybe 5'4 and she is larger than me - I am 5'2 and would wear anywhere from an 8-12. What stores should I head too to find a dress for a Young Teenager?
ETA: I am not a Plus Size, but my niece probably is. If we find something in a Juniors Department she probably will fit in the larger sizes like 14/16? but I really am not sure. |
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jul 16, 2018 16:39:28 GMT -5
For acne, I use skin products with salicylic acid. If you do go with liquid foundation, Neutrogena has some. For my chest/upper back, I use st ives apricot scrub. I would use one of the gentler ones, like St. Ives green tea scrub, on the face. There are versions of both with the salicylic acid. Philosophy has microdelivery exfoliating wash, that is nice and fine, but not medicated. (I use a bunch of different products because my skin is a pita, and has been since the age of 9 or 10.)
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 17, 2018 6:34:46 GMT -5
OK ladies, I am reaching out for your help. I am going to offer to take my niece shopping for a dress for an upcoming family wedding. I think my DS is very cash strapped, and we don't think her DH is much help. Her DD was just 13 in May, and she did shop at Justice, but she may have outgrown that store. It is another niece, (so her Cousin) that is the bride. The minister is Seventh Day Adventist - our family is Catholic. I am just figuring on a summer dress. My neice is Chubby. She is Maybe 5'4 and she is larger than me - I am 5'2 and would wear anywhere from an 8-12. What stores should I head too to find a dress for a Young Teenager?
ETA: I am not a Plus Size, but my niece probably is. If we find something in a Juniors Department she probably will fit in the larger sizes like 14/16? but I really am not sure. Sounds like you're right about her being past Justice. I'd try stores with a range of sizes - JcP, Kohls, maybe Old Navy. Don't forget shoes, even if it's just a pair of cheap flip flops (my girls and many others wear them to church) so they are clean/new/match the dress. |
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jul 17, 2018 6:55:06 GMT -5
My sister thinks her daughter can wear pants. I know Charlotte Ruse has Plus sizes, and there are a few other stores for teens that might have something. We are hoping she is a larger Jr. size rather than a plus size. Her Daughter is leaving for Girl Scout Camp Sun, so we are going to Shop next Sunday. You are right she might need shoes too. Thanks for reminder.
My sister needs something to wear too. Which I suspected. I had so much trouble finding something nice for my MIL, I want her to get out and look early.
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