finnime
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Post by finnime on Jul 17, 2020 8:36:51 GMT -5
Good question, buystoys. I think, though, that it may have something to do with the self-selection this board presents. Extroverts are less likely to be spending much time on a forum like this, I believe.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 17, 2020 8:42:47 GMT -5
Another definite introvert here. Extroverts have depression too - they just might hide it better ala Robin Williams
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dippyegg
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Post by dippyegg on Jul 17, 2020 9:54:36 GMT -5
I wonder if there's a connection between introversion and depression? It seems as though we are all (or mostly) introverts. Do we spend more time gazing at our own navels perhaps?
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 17, 2020 10:19:46 GMT -5
Another definite introvert here. Extroverts have depression too - they just might hide it better ala Robin Williams This is very true and why people are so shocked when an extrovert commits suicide.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jul 17, 2020 10:20:56 GMT -5
The best definition I've heard of introverts vs. extroverts is vis a vis other people: they deplete the energy of introverts while adding to the energy of extroverts. So I can and formerly did deal with large numbers of people at work, but would go home exhausted. I much prefer my current life where I can tailor my exposure to my wants. My DD is very extroverted. She also suffers at times from depression, but its largely situational. She needs other people. Not having them in her life daily is depressing in itself.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 20, 2020 13:18:23 GMT -5
Praise Jesus - my therapist will be back in Aug from her medical leave which started in April, so I have an appt 8/6. I really need that outlet! Even just having an appt on the books feels like a weight lifted.
She gave me names to contact in her absence but I made minimal effort to take that one and the world erupted. I wasn't inclined to start over with my whole history with someone new.
It's weird because I don't want to gloss over her needing to take this leave but I also want to respect her privacy. I'm awkward enough without this awkward situation which is even weirder because she goes to my church and we mutually acknowledge our faith connection during some sessions. She's very professional at church and when we first started meeting she even offered not to say anything to me at all. I told her that was silly, and I know that she keeps my confidence. Should I mention it briefly and say just that I'm hoping she's okay, glad she took the time she needed, and glad she's back?
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Jul 20, 2020 13:21:39 GMT -5
I would azucena. She knows you're aware that she took time off so it's not really being nosy to hope she's okay. Hoping things go well for you until your visit! I just recently started back to therapy (long, involved story) and I was surprised by how much I had missed it.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 20, 2020 14:04:50 GMT -5
I would also acknowledge her illness and say something about hoping she is feeling better.
It is so hard to start with a new therapist. I was so happy when I moved here that I connected with the first person I tried.
That was not true the last time I moved to Boulder. I went through several therapist before finding one I liked. My situation felt worse during the time I was searching. I felt helpless and alone.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Jul 31, 2020 10:36:17 GMT -5
I'm really struggling today. I had a uterine biopsy done last week and am waiting for the results. I get them on Tuesday. I keep trying to convince myself I don't have cancer, but today that's a real job. I catch myself making plans for not using the pool after surgery or how I'm going to handle chemo. As soon as I realize what I'm doing, I stop it, but my mind is doing its own thing today. I'm also in a lot of physical pain today. I had an appointment yesterday with my pain management doctor and, for some reason, what ached a lot yesterday is actual pain today. I've already taken a pain pill and can take another one in 3 1/2 hours. I can't figure out what I did to have pain.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 31, 2020 11:28:49 GMT -5
I'm sorry buystoys I hate how you have to wait for the biopsy results. My thoughts are with you. I have done that worrying loop over a call back for a mammogram. I would have done it for my recent colonoscopy had I not found out my sister had tested positive for covid. Then the loop went to that scenario
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jul 31, 2020 12:12:44 GMT -5
I'm really struggling today. I had a uterine biopsy done last week and am waiting for the results. I get them on Tuesday. I keep trying to convince myself I don't have cancer, but today that's a real job. I catch myself making plans for not using the pool after surgery or how I'm going to handle chemo. As soon as I realize what I'm doing, I stop it, but my mind is doing its own thing today. I'm also in a lot of physical pain today. I had an appointment yesterday with my pain management doctor and, for some reason, what ached a lot yesterday is actual pain today. I've already taken a pain pill and can take another one in 3 1/2 hours. I can't figure out what I did to have pain.
I think we must be a lot alike, buystoys. Plan for the worst, and hope for the best. In the meantime, I'll send some hugs while you wait for the results.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Jul 31, 2020 15:59:25 GMT -5
Thanks ladies! Even though I know it's normal to be scared (my therapist reminded me of that) I keep beating myself up. I'm working on that. I'm not perfect and it's ridiculous to attempt to be. thank you for the hugs and warm wishes. It does help.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Jul 31, 2020 20:36:16 GMT -5
I'm really struggling today. I had a uterine biopsy done last week and am waiting for the results. I get them on Tuesday. I keep trying to convince myself I don't have cancer, but today that's a real job. I catch myself making plans for not using the pool after surgery or how I'm going to handle chemo. As soon as I realize what I'm doing, I stop it, but my mind is doing its own thing today. I'm also in a lot of physical pain today. I had an appointment yesterday with my pain management doctor and, for some reason, what ached a lot yesterday is actual pain today. I've already taken a pain pill and can take another one in 3 1/2 hours. I can't figure out what I did to have pain.
I'm so sorry and hope you are feeling better soon. That is such a long time to wait for the results!
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Post by empress of self-improvement on Jul 31, 2020 20:44:24 GMT -5
My depression is in the toilet. I'm picking up DH's ashes tomorrow and I'm not sure if I'm going to come home and cry or take a nap. My sister is driving me because I don't think I'll be able to do it. This sucks. It really and truly does. I've been decluttering and moving furniture so I don't have to think but I've kind of run out of furniture. Except for DH's hutch. I need a couple of bins for that crap.
I hope the test results are negative, buystoys. That is such a pain to have to wait so long. Feel better.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Jul 31, 2020 20:53:10 GMT -5
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Aug 1, 2020 0:01:40 GMT -5
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Aug 1, 2020 5:24:08 GMT -5
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Aug 1, 2020 5:56:46 GMT -5
COVID-correct hugs to you, buystoys. I'm like you, planning ahead. It helps somehow to control what's possible to manage when the world is uncontrollable. I hope your pain has eased and stays at bay. I'll be thinking of you Tuesday. In the meantime, big hugs to you.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Aug 1, 2020 6:02:53 GMT -5
Big hugs to you empress of self-improvement. You are not alone. We are here, ready to listen. Moving furniture is good. Anything to find some peace is good. I'm glad your sister can take you.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 1, 2020 6:15:01 GMT -5
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Post by empress of self-improvement on Aug 1, 2020 12:03:17 GMT -5
He is home and wrapped in his favorite sweatshirt, for now anyway. He was always bitching that he's cold so he should be warm now. I am going to my cousin's for supper tonight. I'm not sure who all from her husband's family is up here but whatever. At least I don't have to think about cooking tonight.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Aug 2, 2020 6:20:38 GMT -5
I've been down the road of uterine cancer, it was diagnosed 2 months after my DH passed away in 2015, and I was 70 years old.
After DH passed away my son was able to stay with me for 1 day after DH died due to his oldest son being scheduled for surgery. At least we got the bedroom and closet completely cleaned out and my SUV filled up with stuff before he left and I was able to drop it all off at the thrift store. I picked up his ashes a couple of days later, and unlike most of you, I did that part alone....as usual.
Some times you just have to suck it up and deal with it. My uterine cancer came back in 2019 2 months after my Mom passed away. I did the radiation treatments alone (as usual). There are days I think I can't go on any longer, but truth is, what choice do I have?
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Aug 2, 2020 8:09:12 GMT -5
Blonde Granny. Your post is a good reminder that I have a wonderful DH who will go through everything with me. Thank you for sharing.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2020 21:08:20 GMT -5
Blonde Granny . Your post is a good reminder that I have a wonderful DH who will go through everything with me. Thank you for sharing. That's huge. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but I'm glad you have someone who will be there for you. My aunt and uncle have been through so much, the death of a young child, cancer, heart surgery, major farm accident...and they just keep supporting each other and trucking along. I worry about how I'll handle a significant medical problem by myself. I'll have to call Blonde Granny for tips.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 5, 2020 0:33:46 GMT -5
Hugs ♡ I'm sorry for everything you're all going through/dealing with.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Aug 5, 2020 6:30:38 GMT -5
Blonde Granny, I'm glad you had your DH and admire your strength in building a new life since his death. I think about my DH dying periodically. He's had some serious health issues but he is my rock. He accepts my issues and supports me in my struggles. I know he loves me deeply. Like buystoys you've given me a reminder to cherish him while he is here.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Aug 5, 2020 6:47:23 GMT -5
Well, the results are in. It's uterine cancer. I'm being referred to a specialist in Dallas. Everything is still up in the air until I have a hysterectomy. They'll be able to tell how invasive it is then. I'm numb right now.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Aug 5, 2020 6:58:01 GMT -5
Buys toys: I had 2 surgeries, the first one being a D&C, that verified my cancer. 1 month later I had a robotic assisted hysterectomy. Onto day whatever:
In my case, and yours may vary, The first year after the hysterectomy I went to see my oncology surgeon every 3 months for what is called a "pap test" After that first year I went to see onco surgeon every 6 months for the same test.
I know you're scared an trust me, if I could have found a sledge hammer my house would be in little pieces. Having been in your shoes, I understand completely. Have faith, trust your Drs. and keep one foot in front of the other.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 5, 2020 7:50:54 GMT -5
buystoys I am sorry to hear this. Do take care of yourself. Hugs to you.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Aug 5, 2020 10:34:54 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you're facing this, buystoys. Thinking good wishes for you and your future.
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