azucena
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Post by azucena on Apr 4, 2024 16:02:26 GMT -5
My anxiety is getting worse and I'd love some suggestions. I exercise multiple times a week, but I'm sure I should exercise more. I have hobbies. I journal. I need better sleep hygiene. I'm not tired when I get dc to sleep even after reading for 30-45 min so I've started scrolling or putting a show on and I need to stop that. Work, marriage, household, mental load are all stressful and not going to get better anytime soon. Work will get worse, but is also exciting. If you're in therapy for anxiety what kind would you recommend? That's mostly what dc does, which is talk therapy and coming up with coping mechanisms. Which I guess I need because I do keep hitting the same walls, but talk therapy isn't what I'm looking for. I just get stuck on all the balls that get dropped or are nearly dropped these days and can't see the ones that keep going anymore. And it just makes me drop more. Aw, shoot Rae. Vitamin D supplements have been key for me personally. along with my scripts. DD11 is trying EMDR along with talk therapy. The therapist is having her picture her day and as they find triggers, figuring out ways to minimize them so she can start to tune them out. Like mean boy is constantly singing which drives her batty, so now she pictures squeezing him into a tiny person between two fingers as she walks past him in the hallway so all she can hear is meep, meep, meep. Not a great explanation I'm sure. I've been learning how to drop the balls that don't matter or have the least potential for backlash both at work and home. I just couldn't continue to juggle the number and speed I had been. This means asking my kids to pitch in as they are capable or getting them to narrow down activities - the number of things kids can do these days prob isn't healthy for families. Leaning on DH. Hiring housecleaner. Using my raise to pay more for pre-made meals instead of being a packrat and putting most of it in savings. Carving time for myself - going out with friends, reading when I can, and just plain being lazy. Following several NCAA women's teams this season and texting a bit with Theo about them was so much fun. As I finish a friend date, I try to schedule another one with someone in the next two weeks. That has gotten me past letting months fly by without really going out. At work it means working on the big rocks. What's going to make my company money? I try to start each day asking that about my crazy to do list. Someone wants some small tweak to internal report - yeah, do it yourself, find an actuarial student, etc. I'm beginning to ignore about 1/3 of my internal daily email requests. Something like 10% circle back and ask a second time, the rest seem to vanish into would have been nice to have but not needed enough for the requested to ask again. Delegate, delegate, delegate work. Watching some fb reels about mental load really helped give me perspective. DD11's psychiatrist explained that for emotions to stop rattling around in the back, less developed part of our brain, they have to come out thru talking/sharing or journaling. This forces them to pass through the frontal lobe where logic can be applied to sort thru them. Also applies to negative self talk and worry. That really makes sense to me so have been trying to apply it myself and keep reminding both girls.
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raeoflyte
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Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 4, 2024 17:13:38 GMT -5
The only suggestion I have for anxiety is meditation. Mindfulness really does help slow the gerbil in your head down and allow you to focus on one ball at a time, to mix metaphors. Do you meditate, raeoflyte? What does it say that your question made me lol for real. I do meditate, mostly at the dojo or with my trainer but just brought up how difficult it is for me. That I have to focus on the emptiness/letting thoughts go and that when that is completely impossible I focus on my intention for the time at hand. It's not for any larger purpose puts knots in my stomach. I do breathing exercises with dc for acute issues.
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raeoflyte
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Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 4, 2024 17:19:40 GMT -5
My anxiety is getting worse and I'd love some suggestions. I exercise multiple times a week, but I'm sure I should exercise more. I have hobbies. I journal. I need better sleep hygiene. I'm not tired when I get dc to sleep even after reading for 30-45 min so I've started scrolling or putting a show on and I need to stop that. Work, marriage, household, mental load are all stressful and not going to get better anytime soon. Work will get worse, but is also exciting. If you're in therapy for anxiety what kind would you recommend? That's mostly what dc does, which is talk therapy and coming up with coping mechanisms. Which I guess I need because I do keep hitting the same walls, but talk therapy isn't what I'm looking for. I just get stuck on all the balls that get dropped or are nearly dropped these days and can't see the ones that keep going anymore. And it just makes me drop more. Aw, shoot Rae. Vitamin D supplements have been key for me personally. along with my scripts. DD11 is trying EMDR along with talk therapy. The therapist is having her picture her day and as they find triggers, figuring out ways to minimize them so she can start to tune them out. Like mean boy is constantly singing which drives her batty, so now she pictures squeezing him into a tiny person between two fingers as she walks past him in the hallway so all she can hear is meep, meep, meep. Not a great explanation I'm sure. I've been learning how to drop the balls that don't matter or have the least potential for backlash both at work and home. I just couldn't continue to juggle the number and speed I had been. This means asking my kids to pitch in as they are capable or getting them to narrow down activities - the number of things kids can do these days prob isn't healthy for families. Leaning on DH. Hiring housecleaner. Using my raise to pay more for pre-made meals instead of being a packrat and putting most of it in savings. Carving time for myself - going out with friends, reading when I can, and just plain being lazy. Following several NCAA women's teams this season and texting a bit with Theo about them was so much fun. As I finish a friend date, I try to schedule another one with someone in the next two weeks. That has gotten me past letting months fly by without really going out. At work it means working on the big rocks. What's going to make my company money? I try to start each day asking that about my crazy to do list. Someone wants some small tweak to internal report - yeah, do it yourself, find an actuarial student, etc. I'm beginning to ignore about 1/3 of my internal daily email requests. Something like 10% circle back and ask a second time, the rest seem to vanish into would have been nice to have but not needed enough for the requested to ask again. Delegate, delegate, delegate work. Watching some fb reels about mental load really helped give me perspective. DD11's psychiatrist explained that for emotions to stop rattling around in the back, less developed part of our brain, they have to come out thru talking/sharing or journaling. This forces them to pass through the frontal lobe where logic can be applied to sort thru them. Also applies to negative self talk and worry. That really makes sense to me so have been trying to apply it myself and keep reminding both girls. This is a good reminder for me, that I apparently need to be reminded of a lot. It's my freaking business. I choose what I want to do, and for who. I know I'm spinning a lot of wheels on a client who I don't particularly like working with - and I'm not a great fit for. I probably need to remind them of that. I don't have anyone to delegate work to yet, but I did talk to someone today who might want to work for and with me. Which is so weird! But that's the kind of stuff I need to focus on.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 6, 2024 8:43:26 GMT -5
I do the 5. 4, 3, 2,1 approach for immediate anxiety.
5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 touch, 2 smell, 1 taste.
Repeat till the immediate attack is slowing down.
That gives me time to ask myself questions.
Is my response appropriate to the situation?
What is the absolute worst case scenario here? How likely is it?
What is the realistic outcome?
What can I control in this situation?
Then do that.
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azucena
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Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
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Post by azucena on Apr 7, 2024 21:39:34 GMT -5
I do the 5. 4, 3, 2,1 approach for immediate anxiety. 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 touch, 2 smell, 1 taste. Repeat till the immediate attack is slowing down. That gives me time to ask myself questions. Is my response appropriate to the situation? What is the absolute worst case scenario here? How likely is it? What is the realistic outcome? What can I control in this situation? Then do that. These are the things we use with dd11 except worst case scenario bc hers are bad and she's not mature enough to put good prob on it yet.
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azucena
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Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
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Post by azucena on Apr 7, 2024 21:41:26 GMT -5
She also likes the ABC game. Pick a topic like food and go thru ABC by yourself or every other person. A for apple. B banana.
Getting to just even pick the topic can be a good reset bc she likes to go far out like math terms, names in the Bible, mythology, etc.
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raeoflyte
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Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 8, 2024 16:35:16 GMT -5
She also likes the ABC game. Pick a topic like food and go thru ABC by yourself or every other person. A for apple. B banana. Getting to just even pick the topic can be a good reset bc she likes to go far out like math terms, names in the Bible, mythology, etc. That's one of our favorite car games.
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Pink Cashmere
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Joined: Sept 24, 2022 16:18:40 GMT -5
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Apr 8, 2024 17:04:35 GMT -5
One night last week, I had monkey brain when I should’ve been sleeping. So I got the idea to start thinking of all the female names I could think of that started with a certain letter. If I knew someone who had an unusual name that started with that letter, that counted too. I was trying to distract myself from going over the issues I was thinking about.
It didn’t work out too well, because my monkey brain took that as a challenge, and I ended up going through almost all of the letters of the alphabet, debated doing the same thing with names for males, and kept revisiting certain letters because I remembered a name that I forgot about on a certain letter, and then I felt like I needed to count on my fingers how many names I came up with for each letter, to compare how many names I came up with for other letters, and on and on and on.
It is safe to say that while it did distract me from the stuff that had been tumbling around in my mind, it absolutely did not quiet my monkey brain. It just gave the monkey something else to focus on, and keep me awake. Sighhhh
I do not recommend.
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azucena
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Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
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Post by azucena on Apr 8, 2024 20:18:18 GMT -5
Just remembered that all 3 of us girls also use the calm app. I think annual subscription is $80. Dd11 sometimes does the same sleep story for days in a row. I do the breathing and work moments. Not sure how dd15 has been using it lately. Lots of sleep sounds on it and soothing music. The trial gives a good limited overview.
Pink - I can see how you went in circles. Kinda think the anxiety part of ABC game works better with two people. You might try to breathing I mentioned above.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 8, 2024 22:41:08 GMT -5
I made it outside today to walk the dogs with dc. Also told dc that I'm struggling with anxiety more than I ever remember struggling in the past just to reinforce the idea that it's OK to talk about.
Going to work on getting outside for exercise/fresh air/vitamin d every day and not just in passing.
At work I'm still in fire mode but I have a lot of thoughts going that I think could be good. Acknowledging that this requires a new level of executive function when I was already dropping balls in that area personally to bring some issues into light and look at them from more of a work mind set - knowing this is a problem, how can we tackle it, vs. Wow you must completely suck as a human being if this is a problem.
Trying to remember to focus on what makes me the most money. I'm stressing over people who bring in the least amount of business for me and cost me the most amount of my time and money. So do I care if they're happy with my services? I don't need to be everything to everyone.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Apr 9, 2024 2:34:09 GMT -5
Rae - fwiw, sounds like you're on the right track.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 12, 2024 17:16:39 GMT -5
We spent pretty much all of our couples session talking about my anxiety today. I feel bad about that but I brought up that we react differently. That when dh's anxiety is high and he wants to connect and I'm the exact opposite. I just want to withdraw in to myself so the timing is bad, but nothing I can do about that.
Therapist suggested meditation with tapping and deep breathing. More focused on processing the source of anxiety than trying for an empty mind so I think I can actually try that.
Plus brown noise, no scrolling or shows before bed, cutting back on caffeine, and journaling, but checking in on anxiety and processing. I don't have to keep a perfect journal, so an imperfect journal doesn't create anxiety for me. I only keep it when I want to/find it helpful but I get what she was saying that some of the trackers can create stress.
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Apr 13, 2024 6:57:56 GMT -5
That sounds like a good session, raeoflyte. I'm glad you got some helpful recommendations.
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
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Post by finnime on Apr 14, 2024 3:39:49 GMT -5
The sun's angle is still that of spring, oblique. I kind of dread where it's headed, to be straight overhead in June. That's when my SAD grows and leaves me weirdly restless and crazy. It is better for me living in the northeast than it was in the mid-Atlantic. Summer there always did a job on me.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 14, 2024 21:27:24 GMT -5
I've been exhausted this weekend. I think it's from feeling like I'm on high alert for so long. I napped yesterday and could have today, but at least had the energy for basic weekly tasks/housework so did that instead.
I realized some things about work that hopefully will help.
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anciana
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Post by anciana on Apr 15, 2024 9:47:29 GMT -5
I've been exhausted this weekend. I think it's from feeling like I'm on high alert for so long. I napped yesterday and could have today, but at least had the energy for basic weekly tasks/housework so did that instead. I realized some things about work that hopefully will help. Sorry to hear you couldn’t enjoy your weekend but I sympathize with feeling exhausted when trying to relax after finally getting over from more intense and stressful days. Sometimes all we can do is hang in there and that’s enough 🤗 Hope work gets better and that what you figured out truly helps.
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