daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Aug 28, 2024 17:57:40 GMT -5
Same azucena with understanding that seasonal depression goes both ways. I'm already not doing well with it. The latest sunset of the year was last week and the sun is already rising later in the morning here. Need to up the Vitamin D.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Aug 28, 2024 22:05:17 GMT -5
How is your head now, Pink Cashmere ? Are the headaches subsiding? I really hope so. I've had migraines where I've thought it would be better to just surgically remove the head half that was so violently painful. It sounds like yours was similar. It hasn’t hurt since that one night, thank goodness. Yes, it was very bad. Thank you for asking.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Sept 2, 2024 16:12:39 GMT -5
How am I supposed to know whether the antidepressant I’m taking is working or not? I know it can take up to 4 weeks or whatever for it to really be effective.
I am 2 weeks in, and don’t really feel any better. Well, I’m not experiencing what I guess is anxiety as often. But idk if if it’s the medicine or because I have gotten better at “changing the subject” in my brain when my stomach starts feeling funny when I’m thinking about certain things. That is not a good long term solution, because some of those things I avoid thinking about right now, do need to be addressed.
When I speak about my stomach “feeling funny”, that is a different thing from when my stomach goes haywire. It is more uncomfortable than painful, but if I keep thinking about whatever, sometimes it becomes nausea. I “change the subject” for sure at that point because I don’t want to find out what comes after nausea, since nausea is often the first sign that my stomach is about to rebel and wreak havoc.
I have also figured out that my job often causes me to have a bad attitude by the end of my workday. Even if nothing unusual happens, it’s just all the negativity and negative energy. That is why I get out of the building on all my breaks and my lunch, the building just feels dark and gloomy to me, and to get away from my coworkers. Honestly, I go outside every chance I get, like when I’m waiting on work and I know it will be 10 or 15 minutes before I am busy again. I’m not supposed to do that, but I do it anyway. There are only a few people I even chat with, like 3 or 4 out of about a hundred people on my shift. But that doesn’t mean people don’t try to start conversations with me. I try not to be rude, but I really don’t want to hear all the negative stuff about who they can’t stand and who doesn’t do any work, blah blah, blah.
I guess I need to figure out how to keep all of the negativity and negative energy from affecting me the way it does. Sighhhh.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Sept 2, 2024 16:20:03 GMT -5
In my experience with antidepressants, I could not tell much difference in 2 weeks. I think my doctor scheduled the med check appointments 3 weeks apart at that point and they were adjusted at the 2nd appointment.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 2, 2024 17:15:22 GMT -5
I knew mine was starting to work because I was able to pull myself out of depressive or anxious cycles.
I've done CBT off and on but that voice gets drowned out. I was able to hear it again.
I can sleep I am not up at 2am with racing thoughts.
It's different for everyone. I told my doctor it's like all the squirrels in my head stopped taking crack.
They are still running around but now I can occasionally catch them and maybe even get the cage fixed.
I'm so burned out after the last two years I'm dead inside. I see no point in anything.
With my antidepressants I feel again. I don't always like what I feel but I know the other stuff is my burn out talking not "me".
DH and the kids noticed a remarkable difference as people looking at the whole me.
It was about 6 weeks before I really noticed myself. That was when my appointment was with the Doctor to go through the questions again and compare to my original answers
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Sept 2, 2024 19:43:01 GMT -5
In my experience with antidepressants, I could not tell much difference in 2 weeks. I think my doctor scheduled the med check appointments 3 weeks apart at that point and they were adjusted at the 2nd appointment. I was put on a cocktail of 3 medications that had to be titrated slowly and the dosage increased. The deep darkness went away in about 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I have through 3 different times I was fine and didn't need the meds. So 3 times I have stopped cold turkey. Every time has been a massive failure and left me suicidal before I would call for help. I hope I have learned my lesson.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Sept 2, 2024 20:45:11 GMT -5
In my experience with antidepressants, I could not tell much difference in 2 weeks. I think my doctor scheduled the med check appointments 3 weeks apart at that point and they were adjusted at the 2nd appointment. I was put on a cocktail of 3 medications that had to be titrated slowly and the dosage increased. The deep darkness went away in about 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I have through 3 different times I was fine and didn't need the meds. So 3 times I have stopped cold turkey. Every time has been a massive failure and left me suicidal before I would call for help. I hope I have learned my lesson. I hope so too. Because even though I am just a stranger on the Internet, you matter to me, your life matters to me, and I am grateful that I’ve gotten to “know” you and have had the opportunity to chat with you for some years. You are a real person to me, a real person that lives behind the screens we use to chat and share pieces of our lives with one another. I want you to be honest with me/us, if you ever really need help, so I/we can try to send help your way, even though we are so far away that we can’t get to you ourselves to try to help you. That is really important to me. I understand how our minds can play tricks on us and make us believe the lies that depression tends to whisper in our ears. I value you, and I don’t want to lose you.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Sept 3, 2024 7:33:31 GMT -5
Theo - you better learn young lady. If nothing else think of J and missing him grow up and how losing you in that way would make him feel. Appreciated your text yesterday and pls text me if you ever think about stopping them and I'll give you what for!
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Sept 3, 2024 10:06:32 GMT -5
I really don't make a conscious decision to stop taking them. I slowly quit taking them and then I realize I'm off my meds. I stop when I think everything is wonderful.
At present, I don't think everything is wonderful.
If you have never felt suicidal, you don't understand that the last thing I will do is reach out. That's part of the insidious thinking.
I hope if I ever start not taking my meds again, I will reach out before I get to the place of feeling suicidal. It's not a pleasant place to be.
The last time I spent several days typing in to google "I want to kill myself" Google kept giving me as a result the suicide hotline number but I never called it.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Sept 3, 2024 10:07:41 GMT -5
Thank you for caring. I think you know I don't think my people locally care about me. Maybe DN3 if he doesn't let his wife know.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Sept 3, 2024 11:01:12 GMT -5
Suicidal generally means that it isn't possible to reach out for help. I know. I'm very glad you're with us, too, TheOtherMe. You are a very important person. Pink Cashmere, you might want to try making a list of things that are extremely difficult or not possible to do right now and then check it in 2 more weeks, to see if any have changed. My DSis called me at one time a few weeks after she'd started Wellbutrin to complain she didn't feel any different but was having weird dreams. It turned out when she called me she was painting the ceiling at our mother's house, something she could not have rallied to do before then. So the med was working.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Sept 3, 2024 11:47:41 GMT -5
Yeah, reaching out before one gets too low is key but I know how impossible that is.
Pink - fwiw, I can tell my meds are working when I find myself laughing and being sarcastic and then will pause and think woe, it's been a bit since I've done that. Also other people like dh and close work friends will notice I'm doing better so you may want to check in with them. Mine is closer to 4 weeks usually.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Sept 3, 2024 20:06:02 GMT -5
I’ve been on anti-anxiety meds for over ten years. I’ve only been on antidepressants since this April. It was definitely a few weeks of being on them before the debilitating “there’s no point” ceded. And I had the privilege of staying home with a full paycheck for four months. There was definitely a gradual stop of the “constant laying face down on the couch unable to force myself to do anything” and then “I can do a few things each day” and then “I can do a lot of things each day”. It took many weeks before I even smiled again. I’m off of at least half the cocktail at this point—per the medical providers, not my own decisions.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Sept 4, 2024 17:05:17 GMT -5
The first thing to go is the ability to react rationally and productively Minor case in point: I can’t go to sleep, and taking melatonin or benadryl to help me along is what I know I should do and just can’t quite make happen. I had my appointment today and have a bumped up daily dosage plus new rescue meds for when I feel a panic attack coming on. Not sure I’ve had a full fledged one, maybe when the SW called to inform me she’d activated the mpoa, but I’ve definitely had to remove myself from situations where I could feel myself falling down the rabbit hole.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Sept 4, 2024 18:03:26 GMT -5
I try to stay aware enough to not make major decisions when I am down in the dumps.
Every decision I have ever made during one of those times has been a massive mistake.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Sept 5, 2024 10:51:17 GMT -5
I really don't make a conscious decision to stop taking them. I slowly quit taking them and then I realize I'm off my meds. I stop when I think everything is wonderful. At present, I don't think everything is wonderful. If you have never felt suicidal, you don't understand that the last thing I will do is reach out. That's part of the insidious thinking. I hope if I ever start not taking my meds again, I will reach out before I get to the place of feeling suicidal. It's not a pleasant place to be. The last time I spent several days typing in to google "I want to kill myself" Google kept giving me as a result the suicide hotline number but I never called it. I think things can easily happen if you live alone and do not see people who look out for you on a regular basis. I watch for the signs of Depression in me as once decades ago changed me for life. I have noticed I have several tells when I am losing hope, and drinking less water is part of it. Which makes my sinuses worse which leads to reduced sleep and bad outcomes. I realized last night into this morning, my pig out on too much sugar for two days really hurt me and messed with my mood and health. I also should check some ingredients. Usually, the only thing I know that triggers me that quickly is Aspartame Sucralose, which I strictly avoid. So back to being careful with my daily sugar limit etc. It would make more sense something got contaminated with Aspartame Sucralose. Too much sugar does affect my mood but not so quickly or badly in the past. Maybe its food diary time for the next few days.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 10, 2024 14:01:18 GMT -5
I am struggling today. As many of you recall I think I have said over on YM that my department insists the only way you can ever get promoted is to have an opening come up and you will be expected to apply.
Well apparently not anymore at least not for a couple levels above me because in the last two days there have been a flurry of promotions. None of these were open positions. So apparently they CAN change titles on a dime and without having to have approval from HR to open a position.
Nothing against several of the people who earned these but WTF? I have had it stressed over and over to me I can't become an associate unless there is an open position. Which now that the three open ones have been filled my chances of ever getting one are zero unless a new person bolts.
Many of us peons have an icky feeling about the whole thing.
I am also beyond angry that I was told I qualify for one of those positions but then when I found out about my review was told I "should have known" I wouldn't be able to apply. No you LIED to me! You told me if I took on a particular project and cleared that bar I'd be a candidate. I did it. Then my manager took the wind out of my sails. You say I should have known that was the case long before I did but yet you fucking sat there in that time frame and said the opposite!
So either you are oblivious to your managers and are backtracking to cover your ass. Or you flat out lied to me. Neither is acceptable and I am not sure which is worse.
To add insult to injury because of my review I can't apply for anything even lateral moves in the company for a full fiscal year.
Yet J was promoted while she was on a PIP. Her direct manager at the time disagreed and said she is not supposed to be able to qualify. The director and his manager overrode that and took her direct manager out of the hiring process. They made an exception.
I am not on a PIP. I just got one bad review. Yet I cannot apply for anything and was told only my direct manager can properly assess my performance and if I am qualified for the next level.
What the FLYING FUCK?!
It is really hard not to feel like this is specifically targeted towards me to make sure I stay in my place. DH and a couple of my coworkers said I am not being paranoid the evidence deck is pretty stacked in my favor.
And HR's only response is it is a me problem and I can try to talk it out with my manager. Phooey.
Not a single company has called me back or followed up yet either. I have been totally ghosted by the two companies I was really excited for. That does not help my mood at all.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Sept 10, 2024 15:40:31 GMT -5
Drama
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Sept 10, 2024 16:27:31 GMT -5
I'm sorry, Drama. You were wrung dry then beaten for dust. It isn't right.
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ners
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Post by ners on Sept 10, 2024 18:29:23 GMT -5
Drama
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Sept 14, 2024 15:50:17 GMT -5
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Sept 14, 2024 19:47:53 GMT -5
I am okay today. My “okay” these days mostly means that my stomach is not acting a fool and I could go to work. That is pretty much all I have to give many days, and anything better than that is “extra” for now. Thank you for asking, and thinking of me.
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