10/25 Possible cancer-when to tell family-Update

[irishpad]

Sue, know of my prayers and virtual hug too.   

I would encourage you to seriously consider Pants second suggestion about bringing one (or both) of your older children into your confidence now so that they could go with you on your appointment so that there are a second set of ears present.   With emotions running, it can be so easy to miss some of the information.    

[Sharon]

Sue hugs and best wishes to you.

I know recently there was some talk of having your DD who is still living at home move out.  While there have been some tensions between both of you, and having not to long ago parented a college a kid, I totally get the the whole tension thing.  However; you might want to reconsider her moving because you may wish to have a second licensed driver in the household.  She could possibly drive you to and from treatment if necessary or help with toting you DS to his activities.

[suesinfl]

Oct 3, 2017 21:55:42 GMT -5 Sharon said:

Sue hugs and best wishes to you.

I know recently there was some talk of having your DD who is still living at home move out.  While there have been some tensions between both of you, and having not to long ago parented a college a kid, I totally get the the whole tension thing.  However; you might want to reconsider her moving because you may wish to have a second licensed driver in the household.  She could possibly drive you to and from treatment if necessary or help with toting you DS to his activities.

Thank you Sharon. I'm now regretting those rants. I do want her here and I think what ever the outcome is, she will be here as she's really not wanting to go. I'm her soft landing in case things go south.
To be honest, I don't want to depend on her too much, I'm not sure she can/want to handle the responsibility.  

[mmhmm]

Sue, with regard to your youngest, don't make any decisions now with regard to her moving out. In fact, don't make any major changes now. Try just to let life roll and keep stress levels to an absolute minimum. You've got enough on your plate. If you decide to share with your older daughters they can help you do this. They're also not that far from the younger sister's age and may have a much better handle on what she can/can't deal with. Their relationship with her, being different than yours, gives them insights you don't have. As someone who cared for her mother when she became unable to care for herself, I'd not wanted to have anyone take that time from me. It was my honor, my pleasure and my joy to be able to give back and to solidify that love we'd built on all those years. Mother was anything but a burden.

You'll have more information soon. That will be the time to start making plans. For now, you need to reach for quiet within yourself. I wish I could give you a big hug and just hold you. This is a really, really tough thing to go through.

[Shooby]

So sorry you are going through this!  At this point, i would not tell them until you have an actual diagnosis and prognosis and understand what it all means.  Then, you can tell your children.  That will be very hard news for them, however have all your facts and info about the treatment plan, etc so that they can have some understanding going forward.  Until then, is there anyone else you can confide in, to help hold you up right now?

[flutterby]

Sue,

I'm so sorry you're going through this. If I lived closer, I'd gladly come help (since we both know I'm not too busy at work ), I agree with the other posters; I'd wait until you have solid information about what you're dealing with and what all it will entail. Then ask for help. Two of your children are adults, and your son is getting close. They can step up. Your son's friends' parents I'm sure would gladly help with transport to school, functions, etc. I know it's very hard to ask when you're used to doing it all, but people truly do want to help, all you have to do is ask.

[suesinfl]

Wishing that the two specialists would call to schedule appointments. I can't sleep, I'm tired, but can't shut my brain down. My stomach and feet look like I'm 9+ months pregnant and I'm in pain. 

Yesterday DD called to ask if I could pick her up lunch since she ONLY  gets 1/2 hour for lunch at school. I'm proud of myself because I told her no and that she should have packed something for a "just in case" scenario. I also to DS that he would have to ride the bus to school this week and find a way home from practice. Neither were happy because my reactions are totally out of the norm. Oh well, get use to it.

Last night DD broke another one of my plates and instead of getting mad I just said thank you, one last thing to pack up and get rid of.

My depression is taking over and so is my "I don't give a damn anymore". It makes me sad.

[taz157]

((((Hugs)))) suesinfl

FWIW, I think what you told DD about the lunch and the plate, and DS about the bus is reasonable. 🤗

[zibazinski]

Sue, I'm pretty close. Lean on me.

[zibazinski]

Oct 5, 2017 7:40:23 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Sue, I'm pretty close. Lean on me.

I'm not kidding, I'm here for you. Both mine and DH's family have had cancer in it.

[mmhmm]

Oct 5, 2017 7:40:23 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Sue, I'm pretty close. Lean on me.

Yes, suesinfl ! Yes! Zib is nearby and has reached out a hand of support. Don't be afraid to take that hand! Call your regular doctor and let him/her know what you're going through. He/she may be able to help over the short term to get you some sleep and calm those frazzled nerves. He/she can certainly help with the pain! I sure wish I was close enough to do more!

Thanks, zibazinski, for the offer of your kindness!

[zibazinski]

I'm serious. I can be there for you, to drive you, to take notes, to just listen. Thursday's are my volunteer days but I can always rearrange that if needed. 

[zibazinski]

Mmhmm listened and gave support and advice but mostly listened and it got me through those awful months.

[mmhmm]

Oct 5, 2017 8:16:58 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I'm serious. I can be there for you, to drive you, to take notes, to just listen. Thursday's are my volunteer days but I can always rearrange that if needed. 

I know you're serious. That's why I was so glad to hear you're nearby. It can make all the difference just to have someone to listen and truly care. That's what sues needs more than anything right now. We're all here but having someone close by is even better!

[MJ2.0]

Sue, maybe you should at least tell your kids that you are not super healthy right now and they are going to need to step up and be a little more responsible for themselves.  They are (young) adults, and I don't think it's too much to ask.

[Happy prose]

Sorry to hear this Sue. I'm a lung cancer survivor. When I was dx'd, I called my one brother, and told him to call the others. My husband told my daughter, who was 13 at the time. It really sucks for all involved. I'll keep you in my prayers. I had 2 surgerys and chemo, so if you want to talk, just dm me. 

[Icelandic Woman]

I am so sorry Sue. I will send good thoughts your way.

[cktc]

Big hugs Sue. Waiting for more information must be awful. Praying for the best outcome.

[NastyWoman]

Sending you loads of and  Sue. I can't add anything to what others have already said, but remember we will be here for you

[suesinfl]

I went to see the cancer specialist to day. She is running more blood tests and a CT scan. There are spots on my stomach, liver, small intestine and colon. Tomorrow I'm having an out patient procedure done at the hospital to drain the liquid from my abdominal area and legs.

I'm also waiting to hear back from the gastro  doctor it see if he can squeeze me in before the 20th of this month. I really need to go to work, since I was out all last week and I'm behind on my reports.

[mollyanna58]

Sending good thoughts.  I hope the procedure eases any pain or discomfort you are having.

[Tennesseer]

Hang in there, Sue.  

[mmhmm]

Thanks for the update, Sues. We're all right there with you in spirit. Wishing for the very best possible outcome of tests.

[taz157]

Oct 9, 2017 16:27:57 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Thanks for the update, Sues. We're all right there with you in spirit. Wishing for the very best possible outcome of tests.

Ditto. 🤗

[Opti]

Hang in there. I'm sure we are all pulling for them to come up with a plan to combat the cancer. Happy thoughts and low added sugar should help too.

[saveinla]

Hoping the best results for you Sue. I will keep you in my thoughts. 

But I am also angry at you - why didn't you go to the doctor before letting the symptoms develop so much?

[Sharon]

Best wishes for the best possible outcome and fingers crossed that you will have some definite information soon.

[busymom]

One day at a time.  And, you know you have a large cheering section here.  

[dee27]

Hugs, Sue, and I am hoping for an easy successful solution.

[suesinfl]

Oct 9, 2017 17:41:59 GMT -5 saveinla said:

Hoping the best results for you Sue. I will keep you in my thoughts. 

But I am also angry at you - why didn't you go to the doctor before letting the symptoms develop so much?

See this is the crazy thing. I just had a complete blood work done in July and everything was fine. Then I felt fine in August and it wasn't until a few days after hurricane Irma hit that I started not to feel well. I chalked the bloating/constipation up to eating junk food because of the loss of power/stores were bare.
After taking OTC meds and them not working is when I went to the doctor.