Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 7:48:02 GMT -5
Maybe it's wrong but when I take my wife out and after I get the shock of the prices... I usually go: Thank God I am no longer in the dating world. I mean I do treat my wife nice and we do go out, but we love cooking so often than not one of us would end up cooking dinner and watch the food network (it's like porn to us ) or pop in a movie, play wii. I know when I was dating my wife, every time we would meet, we would go out to dinner or do something together. After we moved in together/got married it started to be more traveling together than eating out/going out that became expensive. So for those that were dating or still dating, how expensive is it to be single nowadays? And did the spending cut down significantly once you were in a serious relationship?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 8:14:17 GMT -5
I don't think being single is more expensive socially than being in a couple. I think it is more a function of age. Like you, I go out to dinner less and travel more. Only first dates are things like dinner. After that it tends to become more interesting. But a lot of it are things I would do anyway.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Mar 21, 2011 8:28:36 GMT -5
It's true dating can be expensive. Dinner for two can easily be $40, a movie for two can easily be more than $30. I know you can do things cheaper, but going out and "doing stuff" does require an investment.
It seems after you're together for a while, it becomes okay to split the cost so it's not as bad. It also seems to become more accceptable to do cheaper dates, like you said, just hang out and eat in.
I can't comment about married life since I've never been married.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Mar 21, 2011 8:40:22 GMT -5
It should not matter what the marital status is. A couple spending $100 on a date, would be spending the identical amount if they are single or married.
Marital status is not relevant. The cost should be shared.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Mar 21, 2011 8:46:01 GMT -5
Never heard of such crazy idea
Lena
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Mar 21, 2011 8:51:50 GMT -5
Never heard of such crazy idea
Well there is equality of the sexes... equal rights, etc. Being intellectually honest, and one who always promotes equality between the sexes...it only follows that dating expenses would be shared.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 9:23:52 GMT -5
I don't think so!
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Mar 21, 2011 9:29:59 GMT -5
So you are not in favor of equality between the genders?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 9:36:38 GMT -5
Sure. And my equality includes the man paying for dates. Equality does not mean exactly the same or identical.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Mar 21, 2011 9:38:12 GMT -5
I agree costs should be shared. It is unromantic to be splitting bills in the restaurant so I always took turns paying for the dates. I didn't like the feeling of being obligated if I let the guy pay for everything.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 9:38:47 GMT -5
I am not obligated when he pays lol
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DVM gone riding
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Post by DVM gone riding on Mar 21, 2011 9:44:55 GMT -5
first dates the guy should pay, but after a while yeah I think things should be split. I make a lot more then BF and we have been together 3 yrs. We split most of our dates but if I decide I want to do something more expensive then normal then I pay.
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Post by illinicheme on Mar 21, 2011 9:48:52 GMT -5
Never heard of such crazy idea Well there is equality of the sexes... equal rights, etc. Being intellectually honest, and one who always promotes equality between the sexes...it only follows that dating expenses would be shared. As a woman, I have no problem paying for dates. I never dated much, but I did legitimately always try to contribute. But guys usually won't take you up on it. On DH and my first date, we went to dinner, played pool, and saw a movie. DH ended up paying for dinner and the movie, but I did convince him to let me get the drinks at the pool hall. I honestly don't remember how the expense splitting went after that. I think we were pretty much attached at the hip and essentially living together shortly after that, so most expenses were split 50/50. ETA: We were also both still in grad school, so there wasn't much "dating" in terms of going out and doing expensive things.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Mar 21, 2011 9:52:43 GMT -5
I do understand the difficulty with intellectual honesty. I will be ending the relationship with this woman I have been dating recently.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 10:02:10 GMT -5
Have you mentioned this to her yet? Cause she does read the boards and this would not be a nice way to find out.
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jkapp
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Post by jkapp on Mar 21, 2011 10:04:47 GMT -5
It's no problem...most fast food places have $1 menu items now But I don't get past the first date much and I just can't figure out why
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Mar 21, 2011 10:06:50 GMT -5
Have you mentioned this to her yet? Cause she does read the boards and this would not be a nice way to find out.
I have not been with that nut case for nearly six months.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 10:07:42 GMT -5
I actually felt like the cost went up after we got married because we share a joint account. Instead of only owing $20 on a $40 tab I felt responsible for the full amount.
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qofcc
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Post by qofcc on Mar 21, 2011 10:08:00 GMT -5
so there wasn't much "dating" in terms of going out and doing expensive things
That's pretty much what I remember about dating. The first few times they guy goes all out to impress and picks up the bill, then if you continue to date, you settle in to the normal life of renting movies or going to parties with friends, but the guy usually pays for the majority of stuff until you combine finances and then it becomes household money. As a couple, we budget to go out to dinner for birthdays and stuff, but if DH pulls into the drive thru at Wendy's I don't go whipping out my wallet to pay for my share and if I order a pizza, I expect to pay the guy when it arrives.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Mar 21, 2011 10:08:48 GMT -5
Have you MET me?? I don't promote no such thing The funny thing is that I only paid when went out with my DH bc he had no money and tons of debt. I guess "the investment" paid off LOL Lena
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 10:10:04 GMT -5
Have you mentioned this to her yet? Cause she does read the boards and this would not be a nice way to find out. I have not been with that nut case for nearly six months. I don't think you get them that way. Just sayin'
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Mar 21, 2011 10:12:45 GMT -5
I don't think you get them that way. Just sayin'
She was physically abusive.
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The J
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Post by The J on Mar 21, 2011 10:14:46 GMT -5
Sure. And my equality includes the man paying for dates. Equality does not mean exactly the same or identical. Does equality mean "the same when it's convenient for me, different when it's to my advantage"? Equality is the state of being equal. Equal means the same.
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qofcc
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Post by qofcc on Mar 21, 2011 10:15:44 GMT -5
Actually, now that I think about it, the part of dating that was expensive was hiring a babysitter. I had a lot of "first dates" at lunch during the week or on the way home from work, because I didn't want to invest $40 on a babysitter for a blind date until I was sure we liked each other.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Mar 21, 2011 10:17:01 GMT -5
Does equality mean "the same when it's convenient for me, different when it's to my advantage"? Equality is the state of being equal. Equal means the same.
You are right on target "J".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 10:19:05 GMT -5
Does equality mean "the same when it's convenient for me, different when it's to my advantage"? Equality is the state of being equal. Equal means the same. No it doesn't. It means having the same value. Men and women show that they appreciate each other in different ways. Paying for dates is a man's way and if he doesn't appreciate me then we won't be going out.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 10:19:49 GMT -5
I'm going to sidestep the whole bill splitting discussion (personally, I prefer it when one person pays, but that responsibility is alternated).
As far as dates go - the cost of a night out is the cost of a night out. I don't think it is that different for folks who are dating vs folks who are married.
The real cost of being single is in trying to meet someone so you won't be single anymore. Grabbing take-out and watching Netflix with your friends is fun, but Mr. Right has yet to turn up on my door this way. It seems that you have to go out to the bars and the baseball games and the places that cost money if you want to meet someone new.
And that can be a budgetary strain.
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Post by rcab on Mar 21, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
I agree with you LB..... Paying for dates is a man's way and if he doesn't appreciate me then we won't be going out.!!!!!
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Mar 21, 2011 10:34:48 GMT -5
Dating can be expensive but I was single for years living within a mile of multiple bars in a beach city. I spent just as much if not more being single just going out with friends. Been seeing someone for a few months now who while I pay more towards dates (by choice) she puts down her card just as often and offers to every time. She's always greatful and says thanks which is something I see the women some of my friends are dating rarely do. My friends complain about it to me and I have to bite my tongue when these women say some of the stuff they do when we're out. If you're appreciative then it's not a problem but it is when people start to abuse guys who pay for them.
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The J
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Post by The J on Mar 21, 2011 10:35:21 GMT -5
Does equality mean "the same when it's convenient for me, different when it's to my advantage"? Equality is the state of being equal. Equal means the same. No it doesn't. It means having the same value. Men and women show that they appreciate each other in different ways. Paying for dates is a man's way and if he doesn't appreciate me then we won't be going out. I'm curious how you show that you appreciate him then. Is it simply gracing him with your presence?
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